#is it obvious that i don't really write art... either way i won't lie this was fun to explore

[diyasgarden]

merry christmas, please don’t come

“Oh, golden boy, you shined a light on our home and at your best you were magic we were sold. But don't tell 'em what you told me. Don't even tell 'em that you know me.I would rather burn forever”

from “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call” by the Bleachers

“What do you mean Patrick isn’t coming?”

Art doesn’t know how many times they’ve had this conversation. (He stopped keeping track after the fifth time)

Memory loss, a dwindling attention span, and blanking. All problems the doctors said his grandmother would struggle with after her stroke. He’d expected difficulties with remembering her routine or where she was. Even the people around her. General things, he could walk her through. Not something so specific. And frankly, considering all the things she could forget, this feels like a cruel joke.

He lets out a steady exhale, stepping closer to where his grandmother stands by the small fir covered in lights, tinsel, and other markers of the Christmas season. Sebastian, the old tabby, is nuzzled right by where his grandmother placed the small, wrapped box under the tree, looking up at him with a cautious gaze.

“He isn’t able to come this year,” Art repeats, reaching to the home-made popsicle candy cane ornament hanging at arm’s length on the tree. It was the decoration he made with Patrick when he came to visit Christmas in 2000 — the first of a long line of ornaments they’d make together for the holiday. 

His grandmother lets out a gentle, albeit unbelieving scoff as she shakes her head. “He always comes,” she remarks, a blatant dismissal of Art’s words. 

His thumb rubs aimlessly over the painted birchwood decoration, as he looks back at her with a tentative gaze. She wasn’t wrong, Patrick would always come for the holiday. After spending Hanukkah with his folks, he’d fly out to the midwest by the twenty-fourth and spend the rest of winter break with him. “For a proper Christmas experience” he’d tease, although Art knew that he just didn’t want to be at home.

Now it’s the twenty-third and he was nowhere in sight. 

“Well he isn’t this year, grandma,” Art sighs, eyes quickly darting back to the tree. The ornaments he made with Patrick are there on nearly every other branch. His thumb presses down harder on the candy-cane popsicle, continuing it's steady back and forth motion, as his eyes jump from one decoration to the next.

Her eyebrows knit and she looks down to the present she placed for Patrick, Art’s gaze trailing behind her’s. In smooth, cursive black sharpie, the word “Pat” is written on top of the metallic red wrapping paper. It's small enough that Art can’t figure out what it is, but its presence may as well take up the whole room. 

“Did he say why?” she suddenly asks, instantly looking back up to him. 

The question is ironic. As if Patrick had any say in the decision. As if he chose not to come. Really Art should just say "he isn't welcome here" and move on. But that's an over simplification in itself.

Art turns his head up to her and settles with: “He’s busy.” 

t wasn’t a lie. The last time he checked, Patrick was somewhere in the Mediterranean, probably trying his luck with the European tour. Or at least that’s what Art gathered from Patrick’s recent facebook posts. (He allowed himself a peek every once in a while to keep his curiosity at bay)

His grandma takes in a soft inhale, looking back down at the present. Sebastian moves away from the box to rub against her leg with a purr, and she looks down at the cat, before shrugging. “We’ll keep it in case he comes.” 

He supposed the danger of going no-contact with Patrick meant that his old friend really had no way of knowing what Art expected.

And Patrick always had a tendency to see what he wanted.

we'll keep it in case he comes

Suddenly, Art feels a sharp poke in his hand, and he turns back to where his finger holds the popsicle stick decoration to see a splinter in his thumb.

He stares at it for a moment and then yanks the decoration off the tree.

It’s around midnight when he goes to properly handle the decorations.

He tip-toes down the stairs, cautious to avoid Sebastian on the railing who is already looking at him with an accusatory gaze. If it wasn't for the cat's general hatred of him, he'd assume it knew exactly what he is about to do. When he walks to the kitchen to grab a trash bag, he can hear the cat hiss. Drawing out an eye roll as he creeps towards the tree in the living room.

The place is only illuminated by the yellow-toned string of lights on the tree, and he just stands there, taking in all the ornaments he is about to take down. 

Some wash pin-figures

Couple of snow globe bulbs

Many paper snowflakes. 

And the candy cane popsicles.  

He lets out a deep exhale before quietly pulling each decoration from the tree and placing it gently into the trash bag. He moves quietly and focuses his eyes on the motions of his hands, not allowing himself to look at any ornament longer than he has to. Only Sebastian’s displeased purrs filling the room.

By the time he’s done, his stomach churns at the sight of the tree now mostly decorated by store bought figures, tinsel, and lights. It’s a foreign sight he keeps looking at, up and down, until eventually the little present with the cursive “Pat” written on-top catches his attention. 

The metallic red wrapping of the little box reflects the Christmas tree lights back like a kaleidoscope. Art just stares down at the sight, still unsure of what the present is. 

Hesitantly, he bends to the floor and gingerly reaches for the box, picking it up in a sluggish motion. It fits into the palm of his hand, and makes no noise. There's a certain weight to it that he can’t place. and his thumb deliberately runs against the tape of wrapping paper.

Then with the same sluggish movement from before, he puts it back down underneath the tree. His hands flex against where he holds the trash bag, and he remains on the ground. Eyes tracing the loops of his grandmother's handwriting and the fractured reflections of colored light.

When he eventually pushes himself to go back upstairs, he puts the bag in the back corner of his closet. Tucking it away behind some old duffle bags from his time at the academy before dragging himself to bed.

Patrick posts a photo of a Turkish marketplace on the twenty-fourth. Somewhere in Istanbul. Or Izmir.

Art doesn't really care where.

At least he was right about it being the Mediterranean. 

authors note: this is me fighting the art donaldson hater allegations!! not really sure how i feel about this, but i think of art and patrick everytime i hear this song and knew i had to write a fic based on it for them. although i did change the line for the title, just so it would fit better with the final product. many mixed feelings on this, but i hope you enjoyed it!! tell me what you think!!! and if you want an edit of artrick to this song...check this out!

art credit: from the December 1960 issue of the new yorker

[fanonical]

I see your point about June (and June is my favorite too). And I've definitely seen people headcanoning trans boy John out of really blatant spite, and complaining about June in a way that felt extremely pointed, like her mere existence is an insult and a source of hurt.

Buuuut on the other hand, many people loved transfem Roxy for a long time before the Epilogues, and I think it's fine and fair for them (... okay, us) to feel fleetingly disappointed that Roxy is transmasc in the Epilogues. I also think it's fine and fair to continue headcanoning Roxy as transfem, because the Epilogues were very explicitly in-text framed as one possible continuation out of many. I won't lie, I just love that t4t f/f Roxygen.

So my line of thinking is, it's probably still fine and fair to also love trans guy John, if people are inclined that way. It's more about the way that they do it? If you're finding yourself framing June as some kind of invasion on your holy safe space by the mean and terrible new writers of Homestuck, you need to take a step back and reexamine the transmisogynist bias there, and most importantly you need to stop being so goddamn rude to the people making art that just isn't for you. But on the other hand, I think simply ignoring the Epilogues and doing your own thing with trans boy John and his shaving cream trauma, that to me is perfectly in line with - and in fact respectful of - the spirit of the Epilogues.

(Similarly, I don't think it'd be bad to do a reading of the TUA comics where Vanya is a trans girl; I don't even think it'd be bad to write an AU genderswap of the TUA show universe where Viktor is a trans girl, though I'd greatly prefer if other characters' gender was changed too in that case.) (For example, I'd enjoy a full swap where A and V Hargreeves were the only "boys" growing up, and then V transitions and A is left all alone with his masculinity and he lets it steep into resentment. Also, sometimes you want trans girls with violins blowing up the world.)

Right, I hear what you’re saying but I think there’s a couple of key differences here

First of all, we know for a fact that Roxy being transmasc was prompted by a transmasc writer who was repeatedly & horribly transmisogynistic about transfem headcanons, so I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to assume that he really did specifically hate transfem Roxy headcanons out of spite so much that he made it an impossible reading in both timelines. But even then — I do think that if somebody specifically just decided Roxy is transfem and everything else from the Epilogues is the same (or magically headcanoned away as making sense somehow) then they would be intentionally misunderstanding & rejecting the text too. Like, that’s ok, that’s literally what a large part of fandom is, but the reasons for doing this are not neutral, and they reflect hegemonies & wider values.

In the case of transfem Roxy the point is to pointedly reject something we think is transmisogynistic — we have been teased with transfem Roxy for years, it’s an obvious & clear reading of her relationship to Callie in Act 6, and so I think it’s a legitimate criticism of the Epilogues. Meanwhile, there straight has not been years of hints for transmasc John, in fact, to headcanon June as transmasc you have to pointedly ignore her already extant queer narrative.

I also think you either misunderstand or are intentionally misunderstanding how alternate realities work in The Homestuck Epilogues & Homestuck Beyond Canon. They are not just one continuation out of many — there is only the two as far as I’m aware. I’m not up to date with HSBC but it’s my understanding that reality was cleft in two.

i agree with you on the Umbrella Academy! because this is something that has been like rebooted to switch things up, those characters are gonna get remixed. i’d love to see a transfem Vanya somewhere down the line. but if i only blogged about the tv show and i was constantly & loudly explaining how i prefer transfem Vanya and how she should be transfem in the show then I think that would obviously be in poor taste.

i think what bothers me is the boldness of so many men to be like “idk i just prefer this as a man character” right in the replies of posts where transfems are gushing about/sharing their transfem headcanons. I can’t even talk about June being trans without a few people saying that, and that’s actually confirmed as 100% happening, so it’s even more impossible to escape with like transfem Link headcanons etc.

i think all in all, transmascs, trans boys & trans men should try and leave more space for their sisters in the community. it is not subversive to wish every character was a man. just misogynistic. leave room for transfems, trans girls & trans women in fandom and beyond, folks.

[somerandomcryptid]

I finally did some solo Wren&Cryptid art and writing, so take a tiny sketch and a tiny bit of writing (they're both the same event)

“Hey… what are you doing still up…” Wren asks as she comes down the stairs, wiping the corner of her mouth to clear it of saliva. She looks so fucking tired if their honest. She doesn't need to hear about whatever shit is- “Wait, shit are you crying?” She asks suddenly and they look away, wiping their eyes.

��…..no.” They mumble, though it's a pointless lie, she's already rushing over to them.

“Are you ok with me touching you? Do you want a hug?” She sits down next to them as she asks. They want to say yes, or nod, but they stay stuck in place, god damnit body this is not the time.

They eventually manage to nod through the whatever the hell that is and she immediately pulls them into a gentle embrace. It makes them cry more with the fact it feels a whole lot like their sister’s.

But they don't have to explain why they're feeling they way they are, Wren probably figured it out through context anyway. They can just cling to her.

“I don't want to be alone tonight…..” They mumble eventually, after their tears have somewhat stopped.

“Then you can sleep with me in my room.” She replies simply, like it's the most obvious thing. Though they guess she does feel a whole lot more like family then a stranger right now.

-

I really really really love their dynamic.

Wren immediately feels like she has to protect Cryptid because actually when they meet Cryptid is having a borderline anxiety attack that they are just trying not to show because their paranoid about being a burden

She can tell they can be a mess, right from the start

And for all of Wren's issues, she's actually pretty good at comforting.

On Cryptid's side, Wren reminds them of their older sister a lot, which is a good and a bad thing, on the one hand, their older sister is like their favorite person who they love very much and look up to immensely, on the other, it just makes them feel more homesick

Because for all their family's problems, they really love their family

Over all they have a (relatively) simple and good relationship, before the kidnapping

After the kidnapping... well then it gets a lot more complicated, Wren is absolutely terrified for them, and when they reunite she's more overprotective, and Cryptid isn't sure if Wren's a person they should be friends with given that Wren is friends with Dream and they have no idea how much she knows about his crimes, but they definitely distrust her less than Dream, and they don't stay cold to either of them for long (Wren because she clearly does care about them, and Dream because.... Well when they're cold to him he starts getting worried about them leaving and guilt trips them)

By the way, Wren doesn't know about the manipulation shit Dream is doing, he's very careful to contain himself around her because he knows if he tries to guilt trip them in front of her she is going to have problems with him, and he can't lose her either

Cryptid starts figuring this out at one point, that if their around Wren Dream won't show his "anger" (he's really just terrified) towards them

So they do the obvious thing to try and be safe (emotionally, he never goes into physical abuse) by sticking by Wren or someone else all the time so they don't have to deal with Dream's anger

They feel horrible about that though because they always rationalize everything as their fault

So basically, they're miserable

Wren for a while assumes that this is lingering effects of the kidnapping though, rather than anything Dream is doing, though she definitely catches the looks he gives Cryptid sometimes

So she can tell something's up about them, she doesn't know what though and when she asks Dream he mostly brushes it off, which makes her even more sure some shit is happening

But she also really doesn't want to assume that Dream is trying to manipulate Cryptid because he's her friend and she doesn't know this is a pattern for him as she still doesn't know why exactly Dream's in the position he's in

Anyway yeah I love this duo and this trio and there is a whole lot of stuff to unpack with all of everything

(obligatory: Dreaming of Death is an au of the fic Penpal by @calamari-minecraft-corner, and Wren specifically is their oc)

Btw if anyone is interested in hearing about character design stuff for these characters (just Dreaming of Death in general) than I would love to share because honestly I have a lot of thoughts but I don't want to just word vomit if no one's interested

Edit: fuck I forgot Wren's glasses being red in this one, sorry :(

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

After smacking Mia one (and Jim).

Janis: Soz about the shiner, like Janis: Dunna how to dodge like a decent ref should obvs...you should work on that Janis: But forreal, you're welcome for the time you got to spend in the head's office with a cold press on #schoolboyfantasiesaremadeofthis Jimmy: 🤔 You mean this tiny insignificant scratch like Jimmy: I'd say get the pads out but between you and your nan lately I'm not sure my ego's up for that Jimmy: Your plan all along was it? 👌 she's no type of mine but I appreciate you trying to be a mate 😉 Jimmy: Best bit was Gracie doing her bit to defend my honor at the end there. Maybe I DO owe her one 😂 Janis: Alright, monty python 😂 don't be a hero on my account...oh wait, advice coming too late, my bad 😉 Janis: Ah well, if you're not fancying it like, pal, good thing I'll have her to myself all this week AND next 🙄 thanks mia... now THAT was the real plan all along 😏 Janis: At least you know what her shout is already 👍 though if you could spit in Mia's next, I think she'd take that and call it quits Janis: If you make like Rocky and get steak up on your bruises, I'll get my Da to cook it for ya after, we settled too then, yeah? 😘 Jimmy: Mia's plan 100% 🙄 Am I meant to be offended that she thinks you're a lesbian still? Because I'm taking it as a compliment #prettyboy 😂 Jimmy: Shame I've got too many disciplinaries to have her banned it'd be one less skinny latte to have to expertly craft Jimmy: Maybe. What sides are we talking about? I think one more smack down and I'll be demanding my chips triple cooked Jimmy: Warn your relatives Janis: Assumedly, pretending here her stinging text slams had her intended effect, and didn't just make me fall about, like #facesoprettyyoudontseeascar 🤞 Janis: Ugh, tell your boss to do one, 'cos they'd lose half their business if you did, think on, dickhead 😒 Janis: Know your worth, babe Janis: Gotta respect that Janis: At least my Brother doesn't need to bother fighting you now I beat him to it, ay? Jimmy: Who'd you wanna be, princess (bless Gracie Lou) and basketcase already taken and athlete being the obvious choice 💪 Jimmy: Tempting offer but you can do better Jimmy: Of course that was 1 of the 10! Should've seen that coming Jimmy: Can't lie I'd much rather take you on 😉 Janis: Never seen it 🤷 but boy is Charlie Sheen's bro, yeah? So sounds legit for the family I have to endure 😏 Janis: You're not gonna end up with Grace in the end are ya? 😤 just 'cos you wanna rock the leather fingerless gloves #lewk Janis: I'll never tell 😉 his ego definitely ain't up for that Janis: we can have a rematch any time any place Janis: i'm ready 💪 Jimmy: Me either. Still break you out though. Isn't that what they do? 🤔 I'll ask your sister but not before she gives me of precious bling to take down cash converters Jimmy: My bad boy image has taken too much of a battering, literal, for me to refuse the fashion 😎 Jimmy: Let's go then. There isn't a nurse but I can still play the concussed care and run. Say when. Janis: Probs after some cringe bonding and bants, thank GOD we got that outta the way, mate 😜 Janis: Most of her jewels are from Primark so I dunna how golden your chances are, don't tell anyone like #banginonabudget Janis: What lesson you in anyway? In PE rn so usually you wouldn't get a look-in (you ain't that special, babe) but they got me coaching the first years girls for a fucking team management module and...Give me strength Janis: we talking screaming when the ball comes their way levels Janis: so I'm making them do laps whilst I shout encouragements about how it ain't that cold from my warm as shit coat, like any gym teach worth their salt 😉 Janis: Gonna get an A, like Jimmy: Oh I dunno, you and Mia still need to hug it out 😉 bet she'd love it too 💘 Jimmy: I'm in art of course #tortured soul and everyone knows you're my muse so done deal there. Jimmy: I'd come snapping but I don't need the rep that'd come with background first years in their shorts Janis: I'd sooner watch a thousand chick flicks with Gracie Janis: amongst other fates worse than death Janis: but honestly #whyareyousoobsessedwithmehun? #toolittletoolateforthisloveaffair Janis: That's probably why you're so tortured 😉 Edie Sedgewick I ain't Janis: Nah, that wouldn't help your case, there's only so much bashing that I can be a party to in a day... Janis: I get to swap with Kayleigh Dwyer next period, meant to go write up about my experience but sure I can as easily do that wherever you need to get your inspiration from, like Jimmy: 😂 it's the curse of being so #goals, hun Jimmy: I don't have a clue who that is but like I've said before you take a decent picture. Now don't get a big head (it'd fuck with my framing terrible) but it isn't half bad being stuck with you Jimmy: There is always Mia's 🦆 pout if you're really busy but like Jimmy: Since you aren't I'm thinking back to mine? Twix will happily hear about any of your running or ball based experiences Janis: Kayleigh? Rude, she sits next to you in English, the one drooling all over you and the desk? Bless her, she'll be devvo 😂 Janis: I forgot you haven't had an Ali McKenna education, she was Andy Warhol's main bitch (aside from Basquiat, tea) in all his shit films, Bob Dylan was hard for her too but she weren't really arsed so he wrote Like A Rolling Stone about her Janis: At least you didn't come for my life that hard post-bath Janis: Bad enough like, I'd have to fake my own death forreal then Janis: She'd fucking love that...do her dirty in the edit, boo, no facetune 😂 Janis: A girl after my own heart that dog, kindred spirts 😍 Janis: sounds good, always down for being out of this dump Janis: your Da's unlikely to pop back for lunch, yeah? Jimmy: I've been calling her Kourtney #awkward Jimmy: Bet she loves it anyway Jimmy: Speaking of, I still have that project to finish up (deadlines long enough to hang yourself with cheers ms sheppard) might dedicate some space on that edit to the lot of them. Fancy helping as well as inspiring? 😈 Jimmy: #satireorshadeisit? Jimmy: Good. Keep the lovefest away from me. Last thing I need is Twix licking my wounds Jimmy: Packed up his sarnies myself so we're set Janis: The KardashiKlan clout, everyone knows she's the CLASSIEST sister, SO fitting 😂 Janis: Can't be anything but a sweetheart, can you? N'awwh! Janis: Hell yeah, you clearly need my talents for cuntery, you bring the skillz, I'll bring my winning personality and large head, like Janis: How fucking rude though, tell her to keep her antiseptic spit to herself 💅 #menaintshitbabygirl #imsorryyouhadtolearnthislessonsosoon Janis: Like I said, you're just too good for this world 😇 Janis: Maybe I'll find the time between being a muse and bad influence to make you one Janis: Its no steak apology but Jimmy: 👍 Too right Jimmy: Maybe if we take the mad bitch out she won't chew a hole in anyone's face (tempting as that'd be if it was any of Mia's squad) been enough facial damages sustained for one day Jimmy: Get some very #aesthetic shots for my A Jimmy: 😇 Always on that good boy track Jimmy: Maybe I can shout you a pie and pint in that spirit Janis: Goes without saying, need the skirting and your Da's shoes to be safe for another day Janis: Should bin off the rest of the day altogether, then you could take Twix to pick the kiddo's up, Cass would be made up getting to show her off Janis: you always after those best big bro points, I know Janis: and I know it, you always want me to protest too much the other way like 😈 Janis: wholesome afternoon of dog walking and homework with bae, no wonder the entire female population of the school is so jealous 😉😘 Jimmy: Did you just have a good idea? 😮 Jimmy: But yeah world's most bog standard bro coming through 🏆💪 get that middleschool clout cass 😎 Jimmy: We just can't stop being #goals however hard we try. Damn 😘 Janis: Don't sound so surprised dickhead! I'm a wealth of cunning plans or have you forgotten Janis: Didn't hit you that hard Janis: Now who's being modest Jimothy 😊 you know you're bestest Janis: whoda thunk it, bitch, not I Jimmy: Been a while can't blame me 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Cute Jimmy: How will I survive the aft? Janis: We can go back there if you really pining Janis: and I'M the one who's sexuality is always in question Janis: #fakebaebetterthanarealone Janis: Ha ha, keep testing me and you might not Jimmy: You'd never make it. Can't get enough of me 💋 Jimmy: If you'd rather be in school doing their tests don't let me stop you 😏 Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Told you i'm bad Janis: 😑 Janis: bet you break before i do Janis: we'll see how bad you are, won't we Jimmy: Last shift's 💶 on it Janis: Done Janis: I've got my eye on some new kicks Janis: At least even when you lose you can still pretend you treated me 😜 Jimmy: When you lose you can pretend you don't need a man to treat you Jimmy: so many #s in that for you Janis: Imma win when I PROVE I don't need you to treat me as much as you need me to treat you, sucka! Janis: and there ain't no point in nothing if it doesn't make your 'gram captions pop off #truerwordsneverspoken Jimmy: We'll see Jimmy: so soon too ⏲ Janis: you started your countdown already, boy? Janis: keeeeeeeen Jimmy: Not ready? Shame Janis: Born ready Janis: Admittedly, got the upper hand, nothing sexy about first year girls, despite what some fourth year boys might believe Janis: you surrounded by all them loose af art hoes Jimmy: How rude of me not to pull all your focus Jimmy: yep, those blunt fringes really get me goin Janis: Well s'why I know I got the W in the bag 🤷 Janis: Called that in the air Janis: whip off those unnecessary nerd glasses and there's real beauty under there Janis: #hotdamn Jimmy: For a rom com hater you've got all the cliches down 😂 Jimmy: Quietly confident now. That shit won't help you off screen 🏆💪 Janis: Oh, you don't recall how pushy my sister is? Janis: Let's call this off rn and she'd be happy to remind you herself I'm sure 😏 Janis: I'm sure you've learnt PLENTY off a whole different typa romcom that is all types of fucked IRL Jimmy: Only if she promises to bring Tam too. I need that model height for my shoot naturally Janis: You really wanna be that letchy photographer stereotype, huh? Janis: Get the whole squad 'round for a sesh Janis: Just know they'll start a # Jimmy: #rolloutladies Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll #bowout of that one thanks Janis: Sure? It'll give you a better chance of winning the bet Janis: #knackered Jimmy: I'd rather lose Jimmy: #takemymoneyandrunaslongasIcancomewith Janis: Sweet talker. Janis: Meant to be me with the gift of the gab 🍀 Jimmy: nope, real talker Jimmy: Got up close and personal enough with Mia today thanks. Still washing these hands Janis: Same, despite what she might think, not something I fancy repeating either Janis: Though I will if she talks shit one more time Janis: So watch out if you don't want the other side to match, like Jimmy: Don't make me say I'll do it all again Jimmy: so many stereotypes already in this chat Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Ew. 💋 Janis: Best get your chat to as high a standard as poss tho, as all the guards and other inmates will be listening in Janis: Reckon's her Da can actually get me done Janis: Bitch be serious Jimmy: Doesn't he sell cars? Janis: Lmao, no Janis: Though he is 100% a used car salesman in aesthetic, you're spot on Janis: He is a lawyer or some shit so he knows realistically who gives a shit about a playground scrap but he'll try and scare my parents like they're fucking idiots so no one is ever mean to his little princess again Janis: That type 🙄 Jimmy: She wants to be a yank so bad it must hurt Jimmy: Remind me to cut my pops so slack next time he's pissing me off Jimmy: could be so much worse Janis: Too bad she's a few hundred years late for the mass migration to the states Janis: Only looking famished, like Janis: Same, wouldn't hate being as spoilt as she is but you know Jimmy: Yep, too bad you'll be waiting for those kicks Jimmy: 🎅's your best bet Jimmy: Not too late to back out 😏 Jimmy: Keep on his good side Janis: No chance Janis: I can keep him on side by keeping away from yours, simple 😜 Jimmy: You sure? There's literally songs about how much he loves 💋 Jimmy: I think he'll be mad if you don't cave Janis: 💋 for him from MILFs maybe Janis: I don't think it'll pain him to see you go without Janis: I see no mistletoe, like #demstherules Jimmy: 👌 Bet stays on Jimmy: Take your chances Janis: Way to make me sound more predatory than the big man 😲😂 Janis: If you're that scared, we can mark it down to a lose for you by default 😉 Jimmy: Not when I'll have you begging for a draw in a bit. Easy Jimmy: Just get ready to accept your loss, not reason we should both be sore Jimmy: #bruisedandbattered Janis: Pretty cocky for a boy who can't even promise A FEW bruises, like 😜 Jimmy: Waste of a 🤞 Jimmy: why talk about it when I can just do it Janis: As long as you start it, I'm allowed to finish it Janis: win win for me 😊 Jimmy: Cocky for a lass who hasn't won anything against me yet Janis: 😡 Janis: it wasn't a fair fight all those other times, thank you very much Jimmy: Maybe you were faking the skills as well as the 💕 Jimmy: awwh Janis: You won't be finding out any time soon Janis: ✌ Jimmy: So you keep saying, all talk I think 😂 Janis: All talk no action is right Janis: Prick 🖕😂 Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: You're about me Jimmy: unlucky ☘ Janis: Shh Janis: Not all bad, I suppose, at least you've got a cute dog 😘 Jimmy: good point, what a you offering? first year having an asthma attack? 😂 #goals Janis: I never said I had anything worth sticking 'round for Janis: More fool ye for your 😍 Jimmy: Secret's safe. I won't tell Mia Janis: I think she's pretty confident she knows where she and I lie on the pecking order already 😂 Janis: not coming for her 👑 Jimmy: just her 👃 Janis: What can I say? Save daddy the surgery fees Jimmy: you're the 😇 you think I am Janis: it has been said Janis: oh wait, no it hasn't, ever 😂 Jimmy: Only because 🐶 can't speak Janis: The love is so real Janis: Its all the treats and walkies, maybe I'll have to employ the same technique on you when the bet is up Janis: Worth a shot 🎯 Jimmy: Start now #worthashot #haveyoubeentricked? 😂 Janis: I'm not quite as easy to distract as Twix Janis: All these dog comparisons, bit rude tbh, don't think I appreciate Janis: Will piss on your boots tho Jimmy: Unless we're playing pool or darts Jimmy: Make sure they're mine. My dad has only just replaced his Janis: Wasn't even you, it was pub lighting and a prick munching on his crisps too loud at the bar #dontflatterlike Janis: Will do 👍 I'm not looking to make him dislike me anymore than I already have lol Jimmy: #surejan Jimmy: least he's never about so no drama there. Been enough for one day Janis: #ihateu Janis: what's he even do, like? dead busy Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Warehouse Jimmy: Very much #goals Janis: Ah fun, lots of shitty shifts and long days like, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt too for being such a prick about poor Twix then Jimmy: Probably shouldn't. He bought her Janis: True...People never think how big a commitment a dog is though Janis: Twix be giving them puppy dog eyes like a pro Jimmy: before 🎄 too though what a prick Jimmy: can't even use the excuse Janis: Bleh Janis: Shoulda clued him in like 😉 #cuffed Jimmy: if I'd known he was going to do it I would've Jimmy: done now though Janis: Yeah, its just another stress you don't need, like? 😕 Jimmy: Snagged me you so maybe she's worth keeping about 😏 Jimmy: Because yeah she does take all the credit Janis: Smooth 😋 Janis: Can't go breaking my heart now, nor the kiddo's for that Janis: I can start taking her out again in the mornings, don't miss much 'bout dem days but it was decent having a running buddy Jimmy: Fancy some company or you wanna be alone with your true love? Janis: You reckon you can keep up, yeah? Janis: Not having you slowing me down 😉 Jimmy: Can't be using me as your excuse thanks 💪 Jimmy: maybe I'll come with then when I'm not working, leave you in no doubt Janis: Its a date, mate Jimmy: 💕 Janis: That's probably them more than sufficiently warmed up Janis: Get back to work, slacker 💚 Jimmy: 🎨📷 will do Jimmy: not too hard though, gotta keep my 💪 up for the victory party you'll owe me Janis: In your dreams, baby 💋 Jimmy: see you there 😘