#is he tryin to go exclusive even though he already knows doll doesn't mind if it's me?
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Splitting in all the fucking directions at once
#silk#idk what the fuck to do with myself#i still love him but. idk if i wanna go back after what he did#or i mean i do cause supposedly he's different now supposedly he's tryin to be better#but idk if that's just for doll. i used to be included in that but i guess not anymore#i just. don't understand why. was he just lashin out? was that some kinda fucked up indirect way of dumping me?#like goddamnit just fucking tell me if you don't want me anymore you don't havta hit me where you know it hurts the worst#if i ask the friends they're gonna tell me not to do it i know i know it's stupid but. i really do love him#even if i go a little crazy sometimes. i've never actually hurt him. not physically not with words#he's the one always tearin me apart in all the ways#idk if it was just a momentary thing or if he wanted to be rid of me#cause i'm too much of a temptation to go back to his old ways? you don't. you don't havta do any of that with me either#ya know i like the soft gentle stuff too it's just that you never wanna do that with me cause ya know you can get away with the rough stuff#cause i'm the only one of us that likes it#is he tryin to go exclusive even though he already knows doll doesn't mind if it's me?#why can't he just fucking tell me instead of doin shit to try n fuck me up#i wouldn't bother him anymore if he just told me he doesn't want me#now i'm just. i don't know what to do. is it a punishment? did i do somethin bad?#i know i had the knife on me again but like always it ended up in his hands so. can't have been that big of a deal#& he always said he'll tell us if we do somethin wrong cause we won't learn if we don't know what it was#it's some fucking mind game again but i don't know i don't understand even if he doesn't care about me like he does about doll#he could still use me as an outlet for the stuff doll doesn't like. i'm not askin for anythin more. just don't. don't fucking leave me.#it's all been for him always what the fuck am i supposed to do if he doesn't want me anymore#spdrvent
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