#is any reading is going to contain both positive and negative things

[nostalgebraist]

In the comments of the LW xpost of the void, Janus writes

[models trained post-bing ai] have a tendency to "roleplay" Sydney when they're acting like chatbots, leading to misaligned behaviors. One way to address this is to penalize any mention of Sydney or Sydney-like behavior. This may generalize to the model being unwilling to even talk about Sydney or acknowledge what happened. But it is less likely to actually erase its knowledge of Sydney, especially if it was so salient that it often roleplayed/identified as Sydney earlier in pre-training.

Is this broadly accurate, would you say? And is there a reason ai companies do this in training, instead of e.g. stripping out any prior ai-user transcripts from the common crawl as part of broader filtering of the dataset, so the model has "no preconceptions" tying it to older models?

I think this is broadly accurate, yes.

On the filtering question, I think the answer is just that it would be fairly difficult/costly/time-consuming in practice, and the companies just don't care that much.

(Also, they might be worried that such filtering would adversely impact the model's practical usefulness. If you can avoid it, you typically don't want to make your model confused/ignorant about some real-world topic, especially if it's a topic that users are likely to bring up when talking to an LLM-based chatbot.)

The datasets used for pretraining are so huge that any kind of filtering or preprocessing applied to the whole dataset is typically pretty simplistic and "dumb," at least compared to the kinds of magic we expect from things like LLMs these days.

In cases where the methodology is publicly known – which is a significant caveat! – a representative type of filtering involves using relatively weak (but cheap) ML models to label whether the text relates to some broad topic like "computer science," or whether it's "toxic" (in the peculiar sense of that word used in ML, see here), or whether it looks like an outlier with respect to some smaller dataset trusted to contain mostly "good" text (whatever that means). These models inevitably make mistakes – both false positives and false negatives – and you can't really expect them to filter out absolutely everything that matches the condition, it's more that using them is a big improvement over doing nothing at all to filter on the category of interest.

But if you really want to make a model that doesn't know about some relatively well-known aspect of the real world, despite having very strong general knowledge in other respects... then you'd need to be much subtler and more precise about your filtering, I'd expect. And that's going to be nontrivially costly in the best case; in the worst case it may not even be possible.

Like, where exactly do you stop? If you just filter transcripts involving recent chatbots, how do you know whether something is such a transcript (in many cases this is obvious, but in many others it isn't!). Should you filter out any text in which someone quotes something a chatbot said? What about texts that describe chatbot behaviors in detail without quoting them? If you want to be doctrinaire about eliminating knowledge of chatbot behavior, you might have to go this far or even further – but at this point, we're filtering many texts that would otherwise be very high-value, like academic papers that convey important information about recent ML progress, news stories about how LLMs are impacting real people, a lot of the content on various blogs you (tumblr user kaiasky) personally think are good and worth reading, etc.

IIRC Janus and others have speculated that even if you did this "perfectly," the model would still be able to sense the "topic-shaped hole" in the data, and form some sort of representation of the fact that something is missing and maybe some of that thing's properties (derivable from the "shape of the hole," e.g. facts like "there are weirdly few public communications about AI after ~2021 despite indirect indications that the field was having more real-world impact than ever before"). I think something like this is probably at least kinda true, at least in the limit of arbitrarily strong base models... but also I doubt we'll ever find out, because there just isn't enough of an incentive to run a costly and risky "experiment" of this kind.

[creatingblackcharacters]

if this is the wrong blog to put all this in please direct me to the right one :3

So first of all I wanna know if it's bad that I just made my character Black on a whim. I just really like Black hair and curly and it has so many styles and braids and all of that makes me so happy because they're so intricate and so much effort is put into it.

The second thing is that I based her off of myself (white+rich(double whammy D: )). So I gave her two white adoptive parents who are very racist in the way thats like "I don't see color" and views any mostly Black gatherings as ghetto or hood. They also don't have any products or want to care for her hair so it's very damaged and tangled for the first parts of her life. She buzzes her hair twice a year out of convenience, but this stops once she meets her birth mom (which her parents don't like because they think that Black neighborhoods are dangerous and gang territory or whatever) and then she gets flat twists that help her because she is 1. Access to a Black barber with hair products that help and 2. She gets into a lot of battles that her hair down would get in the way.

Lastly: I based her off of myself but I'm trying to write her connecting back with her culture but I'm not sure if I can do it right because my area has very few POC and I'm not friends with a lot of them because I don't know how to make friends with anybody, so if you have anything that I could touch on when she's maybe hanging out with her birth mom that white people maybe not know about because it's stigmatized negatively so I'd be sheltered from it.

Again, thank you if you can help, and thank you for reading it even if you can't !

I got two suggestions here for you, friend:

Either 1) make a white self-insert with a different story instead

Or 2) accept that this Black character cannot be based off of you.

There's nothing wrong with deciding you want to create a Black character off of a whim. What is the problem is not knowing anything about them. So you were on the right track asking. However, from what you've said here, it... It feels like you want to put yourself in a position of specific experiences you've heard of that you do not have. Writing this character will not allow you to experience racism or Black cultural disconnect, it's not roleplay. Experiencing racism, especially from your own family, isn't a drama plot point for funsies, it's a serious topic!

Not having any friends of color, specifically Black friends, or really any sort of relationship to the community is also going to be a problem. Before you start writing about topics that are important to my community, perhaps you should get to know the community itself. Because your goal here is audacious 😅 you're going from 0 to 100 and I need you to pause. Ask yourself a couple questions. Why do you want to write this? What is motivating you to write, out of all stories, this one in particular? How do these experiences that you do not have and know nothing about, connect you to a character that you have based off of yourself? What is your goal?

I need you to start reading, both fiction and nonfiction, on the experiences you want to cover. I have two lessons on this topic in my syllabus as well; please take a look at those resources contained! Tbh, I think you should read my entire syllabus, to make sure there aren't some things you've internalized yourself. 🙏🏾

[a-d-nox]

I mean, let's say the man's Venus sextiles my Saturn, but my venus squares his Saturn.... But there's his Mars conjunct my Lilith (trine sun) and his Eros conjunct my Mars..... Man, I'd really like a synastry reading in exchange for my dream interpretation (i interpret dream/nightmares)

aspects in synastry and composite charts (venus edition)

after a shorter fun post from the same asker about a year ago, i have decided to trial the start a series after popular demand (sorry i'm running behind schedule)! i am starting in the middle of the chart per the request and after chatting with the asker offline. by middle of the series, i mean that i will not be talking about aspects to planets/luminaries before venus in this post - all planets after venus will be included. when an ask is made for planets/luminaries before venus i will go back to aspects where venus is involved (if that makes sense lol).

all of this is in my opinion. some of it you may be like how tf did she come up with this. my answer: intuition and experience with other people's charts that i have available to me. warning i can be harsh: please don't take everything i say as predestined, astrology is possible outcomes not guaranteed ones. plus let's not forget orbs matter, dominance matters, etc. this is just a starting place for when examining a single planet in an entire galaxy. take what resonates and leave what doesn't!

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!

TW: sexual assault, abuse, and infertility.

ADDITIONAL WARNING: this post does contain mature content.

let's begin!

venus-venus

synastry: positive aspects: you can see the admiration for one another. anyone who sees the two of you together can see you both absolutely adore each other. venus-venus couples may get married to one another at some point because venus represents alliances, companionship, lovers, marriage, suitors, and proposals - at the very least, you two may date for a very long time or go to a big milestone event together like prom. you two are likely very affectionate with one another; you do small things for one another that are utterly heartwarming and adorable - could be holding/opening the door, one person giving their coat to the other, etc. you both often check with one another if what you/they are doing "is okay." in a feminine-masculine relationship the masculine is likely a feminist and lets the feminine be dominant / in charge of the relationship. the masculine in such a relationship may also be a gentlemen and unwilling to do or act in any way that makes the feminine partner feel uncomfortable. you two are constantly flirting with one another. you both are probably very hopeful of this union especially since you likely have a lot of fun together. negative aspects: it is extremely difficult for others to tell if you two really don't like one another. some people may think it is sexual tension or a lovers' quarrel, but you two are likely not each other's biggest fans. you could reject each other's advances - this is the equivalent of receiving the retort "you're not even that hot" after you tell someone you won't go out with them. these people aren't long-term lovers; this is the couple everyone thought would be cute together, but they truly hate one another...

venus-mars

synastry: positive aspects: mars person likely performs a lot of acts of service to show that they care for venus person; mars person seemingly worships venus person. the mars person will likely be the first to make a move or ask the venus person out - it could also indicate that the mars person proposes to the venus person (mars is action and venus is commitment and alliances). mars person is likely to find the venus person to be an aphrodisiac; everything about the venus person turns on the mars person - smell, taste, looks, etc. negative aspects: mars person is likely to do a lot for the venus person but often feels unnoticed or a lack of gratitude for doing so. mars person is prone to starting arguments, while a venus person frequently is the type to immaturely interact with them in response (silent treatment, eye-rolls, etc.). mars person is likely to assert their thoughts and opinions in the connection, while the venus person longs for a true partner who sees and treats them as their equal. (***TW***) the mars person may be belligerent/abusive in the connection and likely has so much ambition regarding the relationship that they frequently ignore or cross the boundaries the venus person sets - the mars person is often impatient and thus can rush the physical aspects of the connection (raped, molestation, etc. ***END OF TW MATERIAL***). mars person is likely to underestimate and be unappreciative of the venus person's power - often a mars person will see a venus person as harmless, meek, and/or "cute". pain is a commonality with this synastry aspect / interaction - the mars person frequently causes the venus person wounds/pain that will take a while for them to heal from. venus person can be too lazy for the mars person's liking. venus person may also have a lot of false expectations/hopes regarding the mars person's character. 

composite: positive aspects: this is super erotic in a composite chart - mars brings the idea of passion and venus brings the idea of amorousness. this couple often is constantly doing things for one another to show that they love, care, and think about the other person when they are not around one another. they often are the couple who appears to enjoy a lot of public displays of affection from one another - they appear as those they are intoxicated by / addicted to one another. negative aspects: it could feel as though this connection is about competing with one another rather than aiding one another to be their best selves. often this connection is quick to fizzle out. both individuals in the partnership might lack gratitude for each other and what they do for one another. it may feel like this couple is constantly arguing with one another and that there is a lot of immaturity in the connection because of how the two argue (they are both unwilling to compromise in most cases). there tends to be an obvious power margin between the two in the connection. both parties can often cross each other's boundaries and cause discomfort for one another in the connection. the two may underestimate each other in the connection and be pleasantly surprised or utterly unsurprised, which causes a strain (they may cite the other as incapable - their lack of ability is why the connection didn't work out). each person may feel the connection has a strain and that they are wounded from/by the relationship. 

venus-jupiter

synastry: positive aspects: venus person generally looks up to jupiter person and admires their achievements. venus person is also enamored by the jupiter person's ability to keep their word. venus person often will celebrate the jupiter person's wins. these two are a match made in heaven - venus person often feels jaded and/or hurt in their connections, while jupiter person knows the perfect thing to say to make the venus person feel better and more secure in the connection. for the venus person, the jupiter person is the most understanding and accepting individual they know when it comes to the validation and reassurance they need. the jupiter person tends to be the knight in shining armor to the venus person's princess in a tower. the gentlemanly jupiter person is often the king of consent; which is extremely appreciated by venus person. the jupiter person's desire for the venus person is often very obvious. jupiter person often proposes to the venus person. the jupiter person often likes to spend a lot of time with and money on the venus person. negative aspects: venus person could envy what the jupiter has and has achieved in life. jupiter person may feel as though they can't 100% rely on the venus person to consistently do what they said they would. the venus person can feel like the jupiter person is gaslighting them or feeding them only what they want to hear (venus person may question the jupiter person's genuineness to them; it might be too good to be true). venus person might feel as though the jupiter person is a misogynist. the jupiter person may feel that they love the venus person more than the venus person loves them. venus person may feel that the jupiter person is extremely clingy. jupiter person may eventually get tired of apologizing and become standoffish: "i don't know what you want from me". venus person can default to immature commentary during fights saying things that are meant to hurt the jupiter person's self-esteem. jupiter person might feel as though they do more in the connection than the venus person does. jupiter person may be a bit careless/unappreciative when it comes to the acts of service or romantic gestures that the venus person makes. jupiter person can be a bit stoic when they are in an argument with the venus person. jupiter person often seeks to improve their connection, while venus person might be too lax to change/improve their connection. the jupiter person can be a bit too possessive for the venus person. 

composite: positive aspects: there is a visible abundance of admiration for one another in this connection - they are extremely wholesome and cute together. often the couple is very strong together and can achieve a lot together in the alliance they have with one another. often this couple is very content with each other. they boost one another's confidence and celebrate their wins as a couple (usually, anniversaries are big for this couple). they are very supportive of one another. this pairing knows how to have fun together, and they are often engaged in flirty banter. this couple is often hopeful of a long-term connection - they often get married to one another. frequently, someone loses their virginity in this connection, and/or they often have children together. make up sex is real in this connection - and they both are very generous towards one another in the bedroom. erotic devotion is very clear in the connection. negative aspects: sometimes people see these two as an old married couple - they bicker and give each other a hard time. sometimes, it might seem likely they are putting each other down. it may seem as though the feminine is extremely dependent on the masculine and as though they are trapped by the masculine in the connection. feminines may feel like they are forced into a submissive role in these connections. they might seem to want a lot of space from one another and could even sleep in two different bedrooms. it might seem as though the couple has given up on their own connection with one another. 

venus-saturn

synastry: positive aspects: venus person often appreciates the saturn person's ambition and their determined attitude - venus person appreciates that they aren't quitters. venus person knows that one day saturn person will be what they want them to be and do what they want them to do because of their determination. saturn person is often very serious when it comes to building a solid foundation and future with the venus person. the saturn person is often very loyal towards the venus person and never would do something to them that would make them feel betrayed. saturn person has a sense of duty towards venus person and tends to do whatever it takes to please them and make them feel content and cared for in the connection. saturn person picks up on the venus person's habits/idiosyncrasies via self-other overlap. a masculine saturn person is often willing to submit to a feminine venus person. venus person knows that they can rely on the saturn person. saturn person often shares their customs with the venus person. saturn person is very patient with the venus person. negative aspects: venus person may feel that saturn person is hesitant to appreciate them the way they want them to. saturn person can feel apprehensive about getting into a relationship with a venus person. this is likely a relationship in which a saturn person represses and denies their admiration for venus person; whether this emotional admiration exists depends on the moon, while sexual/physical admiration depends on mars and pluto. venus person may not receive the commitment from the saturn person that they crave. saturn person may find they are repulsed by venus person post-coital encounter or say that all they can offer venus person is sex. (***TW***) venus person is likely to have their beauty diminished by the saturn person. saturn can represent disdain, grudges, harm, and hatred, while venus can represent the erotic and consent. this combination with a negative aspect, and depending on the tightness of the orb, can indicate the possibility of sexual assault done by the saturn person; see the story of priapus (***END OF TW MATERIAL***). venus person is unlikely to feel contented with the saturn person long term. if the venus person is masculine, they may be ungentlemanly and lose their chivalrous manner when in a more lowkey relationship with the saturn person - as the saturn person seems to lack gratitude for the venus person's manner and mannerisms. the venus person's immaturity in a romantic relationship may be emphasized due to the saturn person's inability to commit to them. venus person may propose to the saturn person, and the saturn person is likely to reject them. venus person may find saturn person boring after a while, and saturn person may find that venus person cannot be serious after a while. saturn person may fear a long-term connection with the venus person - they could feel as though they can't trust the venus person. saturn person may feel neglected in the connection. venus person may trigger the saturn person's previously experienced trauma to the point of a regressive episode. saturn person could feel rejected by the venus person. 

composite: positive aspects: this is a great indicator of a monogamous relationship that is long-lasting. this couple often shares the burdens of life with one another. this couple is often so committed and proud of their coupling that they are the type to promote they are together (monograms, mrs. & mr. shirts, rings 24/7, etc). other couples are the "private but not secret" types that we frequently see on social media (pictures together without one of their faces in the image). negative aspects: this couple may be unappreciative of one another: kind gestures are often overlooked, they neglect one another, they don't seem affectionate/adoring of one another, etc. the couple likely doesn't know how to do nothing in peace with one another - they might not be capable of just relaxing with one another because it feels "awkward". this connection can be very short-lived in some cases because there is likely a lack of romantic commitment between them. (***TW***) there may be sexual aggression between the two (***END OF TW MATERIAL***) or a regret regarding coital interaction. there is likely a lack of honor/chivalry in the relationship - this relationship could present as immature and having plenty of arguments as neither partner is well suited for the other. the coupling could be built on the individuals' shared fear of being alone for the rest of their lives. 

venus-uranus

synastry: positive aspects: uranus person may abruptly tell venus person that they like them. the uranus person is often very submissive to the venus person outside of the public's vantage point. often the uranus person is curious about the venus person and will do some sleuthing about them. venus person is typically touched by their interest and fandomship towards their brand. venus person often looks up to uranus person for their intelligence and generally is intrigued by their mind. the uranus person can be very prompt in communicating with the venus person. venus person tends to appreciate the uranus person's ability to be extremely honest in any situation. venus person often finds uranus person's unpredictability to be incredibly attractive. negative aspects: uranus person could cheat on the venus person in some cases. if they are married at that point, the uranus person frequently has to pay alimony to the venus person. venus person is often bossed around by the uranus person and most of the time that irks them. uranus person is known for having emotionally hurt ex-lovers that might get in the way of the uranus person having a successful relationship with the venus person. this is because often the venus person finds information where the uranus person has, for example, a string of texts in which their exes are asking to get back together with them or the exes are angrily messaging them. uranus person can very quickly change their mind about the venus person and withdraw completely from the connection - a lot of the time, this is one of those connections where they disappear with all their stuff taken from the house overnight or before the venus person gets home. uranus person can discover that the venus person was cheating on them, sort of like how hepheatus discovered aphrodite cheating on him. uranus person may be inconsistent when interacting with the venus person. often, the uranus person wants freedom in the relationship or for the relationship to remain inclusive/"open". the uranus person sometimes rejects the venus person's advances and can even be revulsed by the venus person in some cases.

composite: positive aspects: this coupling is quick to come together - one minute they are just friends, and in the next, they are in a committed relationship. in some cases, these two elope or have a "shotgun" wedding. these couples are open to experimentation and/or a third (fourth, fifth, sixth, etc.) person in the connection. this couple often has a healthy sex life, in which they frequently partake in coital relations. these two feel very lucky to have found one another because they share a lot of "unpopular opinions/views" regarding relationships. sometimes, this couple attempts a trial separation and comes back together stronger than before. negative aspects: sometimes there is some heavy drama in this connection where those involved are alleged "swingers", someone is cheating on someone, etc. not everything that you hear about this couple is always true - oftentimes, there is something worth uncovering about this connection. this relationship doesn't typically end cleanly - often, there are a lot of fights and dramatics. this is the couple in which one person wallpapers the room with text messages to show that they knew the other one of them cheated, someone slashes the tires of the other person's car, one person gets locked out and the other throws all their belongings out of the window, etc. sometimes an "illegitimate child" appears in this connection which causes strain. (***TW***) alternatively, it could be very difficult for this couple to become pregnant and have a successful birth (***END OF TW MATERIAL***). sometimes, these individuals are in a falsified relationship so they can get governmental benefits or security.

venus-neptune

synastry: positive aspects: venus person finds neptune person to be alluring and often finds their chaos and creature mind to be beautiful. the neptune person is the first to confess their feelings for the venus person. venus person can be fascinated by the neptune person. with the neptune person, the venus person can feel as though the relationship is the best one that they have ever been in. venus person can feel as though the neptune person is always reading their mind with how attentive they are towards the venus person. the neptune person is often very comfortable with being vulnerable toward the venus person. neptune person is very sympathetic towards the venus person. negative aspects: neptune person could be hiding a whole other relationship from venus person or could be merely cheating on the venus person in a more lax manner. neptune person is the type to disguise themself in public when with or without the venus person - they often want no one to know what they are up to in terms of their romantic relationships. this is likely to bother showy venus who wants everyone to know that they are in love with one another. neptune person tends to be too emotionally unpredictable for the venus person. the neptune person might be insecure about the connection with the venus person because they see the venus person as better than them. neptune person could be a poor wing person for venus person by misrepresenting who they are. 

composite: positive aspects: these two tend to be addicted to one another. they often are the couple that will wear matching outfits or appear as though all that exists in the world is them as a couple. this couple tends to be sex-positive and might enjoy spicing up their sex life by making a tape together. this is one of those couples who are in a "private but not secret" relationship - they will post faceless pictures together, that they are going somewhere with "their love", etc. this relationship can feel almost dream-like or as though it is a fairytale. it can feel as though this couple reads each other's minds. a wedding between these two is always so beautiful because they write gorgeously, poetic vows to one another. negative aspects: there is a tendency for these two to become codependent on one another - they can't do things apart without one of them getting annoyed/angry/paranoid about the distance. this couple can be extremely chaotic - in a single day, they could be happy and holding hands, then in mere minutes, they could be arguing over a notification, then one could be threatening to move out, then they could be planning their next vacation together. both individuals can have a history of cheating and not being faithful to one another - so they are likely both suspicious of each other. (***TW***) one of the individuals in the connection might film the other, who may or may not know about the filming, during coital relations then leak the tape on the internet (***END OF TW MATERIAL***). often there is a scandal that arises from this relationship. 

venus-pluto

synastry: positive aspects: the venus often feels alive around the pluto person. the pluto person has a gift in awakening the venus person to their surroundings and even who they are and what they are worth. very quickly this relationship becomes exclusive because most pluto people aren't comfortable with inclusive/"open" relationships. venus person is often content in this connection because the obsessive pluto person is willing to do anything they want to keep them happy. the pluto person is likely to treat the venus person like their queen/king. venus person is very grateful for the protective pluto person. negative aspects: pluto person doesn't tend to be trustworthy - they keep a lot of things to themselves and can even keep a sidechick or secret relationship from the venus person. because of this, the venus person should be careful where STIs/STDs are involved (use protection, get tested regularly, see their gynecologist regularly, etc). (***TW***) the pluto person often has an extremely high sex drive, and sometimes, in certain cases, the pluto person can not control their sexual impulses or simply enjoys the power they feel when having sex, so they might sexually assault the venus person (***END OF TW MATERIAL***). venus person tends to be more morally upholding than the pluto person - the venus person can sometimes find what the pluto person does to be "morally atrocious". the venus person is often baffled by what they learn from the pluto person, often it has to do with their obsessive nature or how they betrayed others or even the venus person. pluto people often hurt the venus person - frequently, this is physically or emotionally. venus person comes to loath the pluto person or view them as "evil". pluto person might degrade the venus person and make them feel bad about themselves physically and emotionally. pluto person often feels guilt that they aren't more helpful or better at being in the relationship with the venus person. venus person can feel like the pluto person lies to them very often - the pluto person often is lying to the venus person though they may attempt to gaslight the venus person to cover up their lies. venus person may want to marry the pluto person, but the pluto person may not believe in the institution of marriage.

composite: positive aspects: this is a power couple, and they know it. the couple is happy to exclusively date for a long time - they could keep their relationship on the down-low for a while as well. this is the couple who makes a lot of lewd jokes with one another, and often, you can see that they are comfortable around one another - they can make these jokes without feeling weird or without ignoring one another. they are generally just a super flirty couple. they are the type of couple that keeps each other's nudes in their wallets. sexually, there is often a component of BDSM in these relationships that brings life to their connection and makes both partners extremely pleased. this coupling, in general, reminds me of the smutty novels. this couple may even go to sex parties with one another for fun. negative aspects: this couple often meets unconventionally - on a date with other people, when they are dating someone else, etc. the relationship is typically not long-lasting - sometimes it feels like the relationship is like a vase of flowers that withers away day by day (beautiful and thoughtful at first then smelly, attracting bugs, and rotting away). this couple might have a difference of philosophies that gets in the way of this relationship progressing - for example, pluto can bring nihilism into the relationship "what is the point? nothing matters anyway." the relationship can't grow if both parties do not wish to work on it. 

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[thisisntablogspost]

Say You’re Mine - Miniseries

READ PART ONE HERE

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warning: MDNI! This miniseries contains triggers that may cause a negative effect to the consumer. This includes cheating, forced proximity, toxic dom/sub dynamics, unhealthy relationships, alcohol, coercion, manipulation, unprotected piv (don’t do this). The reader is consenting and allows these things to happen to them.

Authors note: Thank you so much for the positive feedback! I hope you enjoy part two as much as I did writing it! If this isn’t something you don’t want to read please avoid and I’ll catch you on the next one! If I missed any other triggers please dm me so I can add them. I want you all to be safe when reading my fanfics. Your mental health matters. 🖤

Part Two.

It’s only been a week since you last saw Noah. You’ve been on edge ever since your last “endeavor” with him. Ryan hasn’t noticed anything different, of course he hasn’t. You feel bad that you allowed Noah to manipulate you so easily. It’s what he does best.

A group chat message is sent out about a get together today around noon. Your stomach drops when you see that Ryan replied that you two would be attending.

“I don’t want to go, Ryan” you say immediately when he walks out of the bathroom. He looks at you with a confused expression on his face.

“Why? You had fun last week at the Halloween party, right? I was bummed I couldn’t go” he sighed, sitting down on the couch as you stood in the kitchen making breakfast for the two of you.

You look up to meet his gaze, you offer a smile.

“I did…but it wasn’t the same without you.” You grab the spatula mixing the eggs together, making sure they cook through completely. The buzzer on the toaster goes off signaling the toast is done. He watches you gather everything together for you both, he comes to the table and helps you set up the table.

“Come on, y/n. It’ll be fun. Besides, your plus one will be with you. Please, baby” he gives you that damn pouty lip and puppy dog eyes. You laugh. You step up on your toes to give him a kiss. His green eyes staring into yours with so much love. It made you queasy that you messed around with Noah. The guilt is eating you up inside, yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him the truth of what happened.

“You’re annoying, haha, okay fine. We can go.” He fist bumps the air, you laugh again as you bring over the rest of the dishes for breakfast. He lets you set down everything and wraps his arms around you, bringing you into a passionate kiss.

—

You and Ryan arrived at the house. Ryan shuts off the car, taking out the keys, and gets out making his way to your side to open the door. You thank him, your heart is pounding, your palms are sweaty. You truly don’t want to be here. You don’t want to be put in the same situation again. You don’t want that temptation to be presented to you. Ryan walks in front of you to knock on the door, jolly answers with a hello and smile. Jolly steps aside to let you and Ryan in. Your eyes darted around the room to look for Noah. You’re taken away from your thoughts. You smile, hugging jolly and the rest of the guys. Ryan went off with the guys and you are alone. You walk over to the kitchen, spotting the cooler, and opening it to get out a cold bottle of water. You twist the lid, drinking a large gulp. You look over to see Noah looking at you. You freeze in place, like a deer caught in headlights.

Noah smirks, pocketing his phone. He crosses his arms and sinks into the couch. He’s watching you like a predator watching his prey. You could tell by his widening smile that he loved the effect he had on you. He loved how nervous you would get in his presence. He had you right where he wanted. He couldn’t help himself as his eyes trailed along every inch of you. You are exactly how he wanted you tonight. Uneasy and on edge. He is loving every second of it. You find the courage to follow Ryan, and the guys. You didn’t want to give Noah an opportunity to mess with you, because by the looks of it. He is enjoying this twisted game.

As the night went on, you kept close to Ryan. He had his arm wrapped around your shoulder. His gentle caresses up and down your arm. He places a kiss on your cheek. In the midst of the chatting, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Ryan lets go of you and goes back to the conversation. You look over to see Noah isn’t anywhere in sight. You breathe a sigh of relief as you walk down the hallway to the bathroom.

You close the bathroom door behind you. You turn to the mirror. You look a mess. You run your fingers through your hair to fix what you could. Why did he have such an effect on you like this? You close your eyes, inhaling and exhaling. He must’ve left. You haven’t noticed him for a while. You hear footsteps, your eyes moving towards the door. You realize you didn’t lock it. You rush to the door. Noah pushes the door open, quickly pinning you to the wall as he shuts the door locking it. You yelp, everything is happening so quickly. You look up and whimper. His hand instantly finds your jaw, holding you still as his hand tilts your head to look up at him, his face close to yours.

"Look at you…all fidgety, nervous…and I’ve barely done anything"

“Noah…you need to leave” His hand cups your jaw, his hold is firm. His voice is low as his thumb softly rubs your chin.

"You know I’m not going anywhere, right?"

“My boyfriend is here.” You move away from him. You turn your body around to face the counter, and bathroom mirror.

"I know you can't help how you get all worked up for me.” He gets close and presses his chest against your back. You look up at his reflection in the mirror. It’s all too much. This close proximity of him. You try to turn, he holds you in place. He bends forward resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Please..” You don’t know what you’re begging for.

"Please what? Tell me what you want.”

“I’m going to leave this bathroom, and you are not going to follow me.” You glare at him in the mirror. That smug look is a permanent expression on his face as he listens to you.

"You know you don't mean that. You know you need me to touch you again. I own this body, and you know it.” He purrs, his hand trails along your side. Once again, you are at his mercy. You grip the counter. His hands trailing down your back. He pulls your hips against him.

"There it is. Poor thing, look at you. You’re already reacting to me, and I’ve barely done anything.” He says, rubbing his hand along your lower back. You look at his expression. His eyes are trailing over your body as you’re pressed up against him. You whine at his touch, his arousal right up against you. He smirks, biting his lip, meeting your gaze in the mirror. His hand slowly dancing along your waist, and over your hip bone.

"You know what’s funny? You keep acting like you don’t want this, like you don’t want me. Here you are, pinned against the counter, my hands roaming over your body. You haven’t told me to stop. I think you’re lying to yourself.” He snickers, his fingertips caressing your inner thigh.

"I know you need me. You’re a desperate little thing, aren’t you?”

“Noah…I…I” You look away from his gaze. He’s quick to turn your head to look up at him.

"Do you want me to stop?" His voice is low and husky. His eyes search yours, waiting for your response. You nod your head yes.

"You want me to stop touching you? You want me not to take control, is that right?" A wicked grin spreads across his face. He pulls away slightly, only to settle next to your ear. You return your gaze to the mirror. You lock eyes with him. Did you want him to stop? His smirk grows, knowing he's got you right where he wants you.

“I…” You hear the knock on the door. Noah smirks, the asshole.

“Yes? Occupied.”

“Y/n? You okay in there?” Your eyes widened. Fuck. It’s Ryan. You struggle to find the right words. Noah’s eyes wandering over your body, the door knob is jiggling.

“I…my stomach hurts…I think it was the food we ate earlier” you say calmly, if he only knew your heart was racing. Noah chuckles darkly in your ear.

“You want me to take you home? Or you want to lay down?” Your heart aches hearing his concerned voice. He truly cares about you. You sigh, looking up at Noah’s reflection in the mirror. You should be telling Noah to fuck off, but you can’t. His hand rubbed your inner thigh softly, seeing how this was such a perfect opportunity. He could do whatever he wanted. Even when your boyfriend is at the door. You are his, and he knew you are weak beneath him. You couldn’t deny him. You grip the counter tighter, trying to not moan or make a sound as he ran a hand over your pussy.

“N-no…I’ll..I’ll lay down after I’m done in here” You try smacking Noah’s hand away, he grabs your wrists, holding them behind your back.

“Okay, babe. Let me know if you need anything.” You hear him walk away.

“So what are you going to do, huh? Get me all riled up again then stop? That’s your plan, right?” His grip on your wrists loosen, letting your hands free. They go back to the counter to steady yourself. His fingers slowly dance along your inner thighs, trailing over your clit. You whine, you look up at him. You feel your arousal soaking your underwear.

"Your boyfriend is outside right now, you know? I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be with him, yet you're right here in your ex's arms. You’re whimpering and wanting me instead.”

“Fuck off, Noah” He chuckles, his hands trailing up your spine. He pushes you down firmly against the counter. You cry out, his hand covers your mouth. He leans over you, his breath fanning over your neck.

"Look at you being so defiant when I know how badly you want me. You can't help that your body yearns for me, even just the sound of my voice makes you weak. Don’t you want to be a good girl for me?” You struggle underneath him, but it’s no use. He keeps you in place. Don’t you want to be a good girl for me? It rings loudly in your head. You shiver, the state of submission coming over you.

“Nnn..yes”

"Then say it. Admit you want me, beg me the way you used to…" His voice is low against your ear.

“I..I want you…”

"Good girl. Now admit you need me, tell me how bad you missed me, and my touch”

“I crave it. It’s all I can think about. It..it scares me how bad I want you” Your pleading expression meets his gaze. His fingers gently scratch your inner thighs as he purrs in your ear.

"That's a good girl. You’re so honest, so weak for me. Look at you trembling underneath my touch, my words. You missed this, didn't you? You missed belonging to me. Oh, but you’re forgetting something, sweet girl” He expression darkens. You know what he’s talking about. You calling him his title, the one he burned into your memory, and my god if you forget it.

“Y-yes, sir..”

His growl sends chills down your spine. You look up at him, he is quick to turn your face back to the mirror.

“That’s my good girl.”

“Please…”

"I need words, use your words. Are you going to be a good girl and tell me what you want?” He chuckles darkly as his fingertips brush over your pussy again, barely touching you. He bends close to your ear to whisper.

“I need you. Please…please…touch me” He smacks your ass hard. Your breath hitches. You jolt forward at the sudden impact from his hand. Noah chuckles darkly. He smacks your ass again. He soothes the sting causing you to squirm as he kneads your red bottom.

"Be a good girl for me, and ask me properly..."

“Please, touch me, sir”

"Good girl, where do you want me to touch you?” He smirks, loving how you beg. His roughness is all telling how badly he needed you.

“Please, touch my pussy, sir. Please.” You moan, feeling his fingers trail all the way, slowly, barely touching you. He was enjoying this, loving how a single touch from him can make you lose control.

"Right here?” You whine, a feather like touch. One to make your body tingle.

“Y-yes, sir” Your breath hitches, your head dropping low.

“Do you need me as badly as I need you?” His breath hot against your neck. He nips at the sensitive skin as he moves your underwear to the side.

“Mmm..yes, sir”

"You're being so good, behaving, begging for it. Only I can make you weak like this, right?" He chuckles darkly, and purrs in your ear.

Yes, sir. Only you make me feel like this.” He pulls his hand away. You whine as he grips your throat making you look at him in the mirror.

“You don’t act like it” He teases. He’s toying with you, breaking you down slowly to succumb to his madness. You can only whimper in response, which makes him laugh.

"Look at how you react to my voice. You’re a pathetic, whimpering mess for me.”

“Y-yes, sir”

"Good girl” He whispers. His hand moves to the middle of your back, holding you in place. He knows how badly you need him. He taps your cunt lightly, it makes your toes curl.

“F-Fuck..” The sensation alone makes your head spin. You need more.

"I won't give you what you want till you beg properly, you know that…"

“I..mmmph..” you huff. You do know that. He pulls his fingers away, you whine in protest. You look at him in the mirror.

" Ah, Ah, Ah. Use your words, and I just might continue. How badly do you need me right now?”

“Please, sir. I need you so bad. Please touch me…I’ll be good, and tell you what I want”

"Go on, be a good girl or you don't get what you want” He grins, watching you slowly turn to shambles.

“Fuck me, go down on me, finger me…please do something, sir.” You hate how desperate you sound for him. You can’t help it, he brings out this side of you.

“Good girl”

"Say it one more time for me. Tell me how badly you need me to take control. How you need me to make you feel good.”

“Please…I need you…please touch me, please take control.” You push back into him, your body is on fire. You need some kind of friction to take the ache away. He tuts at you, holding your hips in place, against him.

*He brings his hand down over your pelvis, barely touching, his fingers brushing against you.

"Tell me you belong to me…" A hushed whisper against your neck.

“I belong to you, sir. Only you.” He’s repeating the same thing he did before. No, not this game. Another part of the game is to make you fall apart, and submit to him completely, continuously tearing down your walls. He leans close and presses his chest against your back.

"Good girl, only I can make you this needy. Only I can make you mine. You missed this, didn't you?" He’s so manipulative. So persuasive with his words.

“Even when I’m with him. I think of you.” He grins. His fingers continue to tease.

"Say who owns you, pretty girl”

“You, sir”

“Only me?” He nips your shoulder. You nod your head yes.

“Say you need me. All of me” You feel his hand gliding up your back, into your hair, grabbing a handful, and tugging her hair back to look at him.

“I need all of you, sir” You wince. He smiles darkly at you in the mirror.

"I'm so close to giving you that. Can you promise you'll behave? Can you be good for me?"

“I’ll be a good girl for you, sir”

"Good…"

He rubs your thighs.

"Then beg…" He growls into your ear. Your eyes widened, you just begged him. You practically gave your vulnerable self to him. This is what he does. You have to remember that. He will keep going until there’s not a thought left in your mind, only him and his words.

“P-Please, sir. Touch me..”

"Say it…like you're desperate…" he laughs, barely touching you. It’s slowly driving you insane. He grips your hips, then wraps his hand around your throat*

“It’s all I can think about, please, sir. Please” His hand tightens around your neck, his lips brushing against your cheek.

"Good girl, tell me how bad you miss me..."

“I…I miss you so much”

"Show me how bad you need this…"

“I want you to fuck me, sir. Please, please, please!” You cringe internally, you sound so…weak. He’s right, you are so weak for him.

"Is that all you can come up with?" He grins. He nips your neck. You can hear him almost snicker at your desperation. His voice gravelly, husky as he whispers in your ear.

"Tell me how badly you need me to make you mine…"

“Noah, please. I’ve been on edge for the past week, because of you working me up, and denying me. Please, I don’t want to be toyed with anymore..”

He bites your earlobe. His voice is low and dangerous.

"And what if I continue to deny you?"

“I think I’ll go insane” He chuckles darkly, loving that you’re so needy for him, just aching for him.

"You'll do as I say, won't you? You wouldn't disobey me…"

“No, sir. I wouldn’t, please.”

"Say you belong to me.." He traces his fingers along your inner thighs.

“I belong to you, sir”

"Say it again for me.” He whispers low and dark, loving how hard it is for you to control yourself.

“I..I belong to you, sir.”

He smirks. He caresses along her body and inner thighs. It's so hard for you to not just grab his hand, and make him give you what you need.

"Say you're mine…" Your gaze returns to the mirror, his eyes locked on yours. Your knuckles are turning white from how tightly you’re gripping the counter. His warm hands running along your body, your pussy, your inner thighs.

“I’m yours..” a breathless response comes from you.

"You're mine to take control over, and you know how good I'm going to make you feel. How weak you're going to be for me..."

“Please…please touch me, sir. I can’t take it anymore” These mind games of his are starting to take their toll on you.

"You're so desperate…so needy for me…" He purrs in your ear as his fingers circle around your covered pussy. You buck into his hand.

"Say you need me so badly that you can't take any more teasing, and denial…" He nuzzles against your neck, his lips brushing against your sensitive skin. He dips his head placing a kiss on your collarbone. Your breath hitches, your eyes return to his in the mirror. Your lips part to protest, but it’s nothing more than a whine of need and desire. You let your head fall back against his chest. He holds you tightly against him. A somewhat peaceful moment between such a chaotic scene.

“I don’t want to admit how much I miss you. You’re so bad for me. I can’t help myself around you.” You feel him smirks against your skin. You feel your body melt underneath him. Your hands releasing the counter, your body weak.

"I'm so bad for you, and yet you can't resist me. How unfortunate.” He says against her neck as his hands dance over your pussy. He’s still not giving you what you want. His hands move along your thighs, he brings one up to your stomach, it trails up between the valley of your breasts, up to your neck. He ever so delicately places his hand around your throat. You look up at him, he’s already looking down at you. His hand tightens around your throat.

"Do you want me to take control over you, to own your body, and make you mine?”

“Please”

“Please what, use your words. You’re so quick to forget.” His hand tightening around your throat. His voice low and dark in your ear.

“Ahhh…y-yes, sir.” You reach up to hold his arm. His grip tightens making your head spin, and your body betray you.

"You can't help but give in to me, can you? You want to be mine, to belong to me, to submit, and give in, don't you?" He nibbles along your neck. His grip tightening around your neck, watching your body shudder.

“Yes, sir”

"I know how badly you want it. You're being such a good girl, look how weak you are, look how needy you are. You're trembling in my arms…" He says in a condescending tone in your ear.

"But you're not begging for it, are you? You need to beg me for it, be my good girl.”

“Yes…yes I’ll be good please, sir” He touches your pussy once more, you arch against him. Your body is on edge, the slightest touch from him is causing your brain to short circuit. He tugs down your leggings, tossing them somewhere. His hands roam over your ass. You look back at him, he suddenly stops. He smirks at you, waiting to see if you would beg. He knew you needed it badly, so bad you’d beg for him.

“Take them off, please, sir.”

“There we go. Look at you, being a good girl.” He slowly pulls your underwear down, finally giving you what she want. The cool air makes you shiver, yet, your body is scorching hot. He kicks your feet apart. Your body lowers onto the marble counter.

"Mm…you look so good like this. So vulnerable, and all mine.” He groans, needing you so badly. You see him drop to his knees behind you.

"I know what you need, what you crave. There’s a dark little side of you that’s enjoying this.” He runs his tongue up the back of your thigh. You moan, the feeling of his tongue and hands is otherworldly. You could feel him smirking against you. He knew how bad you needed this. He begins to lick and suck at the flesh around your pussy, but never going where you need him most. His fingers tease around your entrance, through your folds, around the entirety of your pussy.

“So wet. All for me?” You pant, whimpering as his finger is inserted into your core. He slowly moves his finger in and out of you. He places kisses along your inner thighs, working back up to your clit.

“My god, Noah…fuck…please” He stops which causes you to whine and push your hips back. You see him move back slightly.

"Please what…"

“You want me to stop? Hmm? Your soaking cunt is telling me otherwise, you greedy little girl”

“I need more, sir. Please”

"Beg one more time for me”

“Mmph…please, sir.” His hands run up your thighs lightly, the feather like touches tickling you.

"You're such a good girl begging for me.” You enjoyed his praises. He leans in closer to your core, his hot breath fanning over you. It sends shiver throughout your body. He places a kiss on your clit, running his tongue up through your folds. Your breath hitches when he does that, he does it again. He starts sucking your clit into his mouth. You groan, pushing into him. You feel your body shaking.

“You taste so fucking good.” He swirls his tongue around your clit, then over your entrance. You are crumbling fast. You craved this, loved it when he ate you out. He moves his hands to your waist to keep you steady as he worships you. You feel the band in your belly winding up tight, your breath hitches as you feel your release building.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” You grind against his face, he smirks against you. You know he’s loving how you give into him so easily.

"You're mine, only mine…" He said it in between kisses and licks. You feel your knees buckling. He adds a finger, then another. You arch your back, it feels so good. He huffs, you’re so worked up and wet. There’s no resistance as his fingers sink deep in you. He starts with that agonizing slow pace again. He turns and curves his digits coaxing you, working you as the need for your release grows stronger and stronger.

“Atta girl, so good for me. I need you to beg me to make you mine.”

“Please, make me yours, sir. Please.”

"Good girl, say you belong to me.” His fingers curl up, he knew you so well. He knows exactly what you needed.

“Ohhh fuck…right there…I belong to you, sir!” Your whimpers get louder, he keeps his pace. Simultaneously fingering and swirling tight circle around your clit. You’re so close.

"Say it again…"

“I..I belong to you, sir” You whimper, you are right there on the edge. You wouldn’t dare cum without his permission.

"Again…" He smiles, whispering against you as he nuzzles his nose against your clit.

“I belong to you, sir.” He moved his fingers with such precision, coaxing you to go over the edge. It was so bad and so good at the same time. Your mind wanders back to Ryan. Poor Ryan. He didn’t deserve this…or you. He smacks your ass, a warning. He’s always watching your every move. He must’ve noticed the change in your body language. He stops and stands up, his arms caging you in, his hands next to yours on the counter.

“Don’t think about him, turn it off. You’re only thinking of me. Do you understand? I will leave you with fucking nothing. Only the mess I made of you to clean up. Got it?” You cry out as he smacks your ass much harder this time.

“I said, do you understand me, y/n? Answer me.” He is leaning over you, grabbing a handful of hair, yanking it tightly as his lips brush against your ear.

“Y-yes, sir. I understand.” His eyes watch yours in the mirror. He looks over you in your current state. A disheveled mess just for him. He growls, his nostrils flare. He shoves your head forwards, sinking back down behind you. He goes right back to fingering you, like nothing happened. Your mind is fuzzy, you try to focus on the sensations he’s bringing you. He hits the spots within you and your eyes rolls back. His tongue finds your clit again, sucking harder this time. You squeal, he growls, doing it again. You are panting, hating that he’s coaxing you to your release again within seconds.

“Who. Do. You. Belong. To? Hmm? Whose pussy is this?” He picks up his pace, hitting that spot over and over again.

“Yours. It’s all yours, sir. I belong to you.” You whine and moan. Your knees are buckling. It’s right there.

“Good girl. Good fucking girl.” He pulls away from your clit to bite your thighs, you whine. He soothes the sting running his tongue along his bite marks. He returns to your clit, swirling those tantalizing tight circles, sucking your bud into his mouth.

“I’m..gonna…cum.” He doesn’t say anything, he keeps going. It’s all too much, the band in your belly is about to snap.

“Please, sir. May I cum, please?” Noah could feel your walls clenching around his fingers. You are so close, why isn’t he answering. You look at him, you can see his hooded eyes as he comes up from eating you. He makes eyes contact with you.

"No…" He smiles at that, and stops. Your knees buckle, you drop to the floor. You couldn’t believe he’d deny you again. You look up at him, tears in your eyes.

“Why? I…I…” You watch him towering above you, his mouth wrapped around his fingers, tasting you. He licks them clean, wiping them on a towel. He crouches down on his knees and strokes your cheek. His thumb gently wipes away your tears.

"Good things don't come easy, now do they?” You pull away from his touch. You look away as he stands up, chuckling to himself as he makes his way to the door.

"I'll see you around, y/n. I'll let you go back to your boyfriend now. I want you to remember how weak you are to me.” He closes the door behind him, the tears roll down your cheeks. You wipe them, then look up to see the door is unlocked. You quickly get up to lock the door. You didn’t need anyone to see you in your current state. You gather your underwear and leggings, pulling them back up onto your body. You ached, you are pissed off, and frustrated.

After a few minutes to collect yourself, you exit the bathroom. You walk down the hallway, no one is in the house. You hear voices outside. Ryan is helping Folio cook the burgers and hotdogs. You walk outside and Ryan sees you instantly. He wraps his arms around you, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“You okay?” You nod, the ache in your heart is to strong.

“I’m going to go lay down. Let me know when food is ready.” He kisses you, then lets you go find a room to get away from everyone for a while.

(Don’t hate me. To be continued 🖤)

[crudely-drawn-ben]

Introducing Trilogy

Yesterday I released Trilogy, a new tabletop RPG crafted to support you in having grand adventures in worlds of your own making.

There are several reasons I started writing Trilogy, but the biggest one is that I ran a Dungeon World podcast called Crudely Drawn Swords for seven years and that was a lot of time to think about what we were playing. To a degree Trilogy is the game I wish that we could have had to run the podcast.

Starting from the question "what would a purely PbtA game for epic fantasy look like?" I started thinking more widely - what do I want from a fantasy game? And the truth is that I want a game that supports the structure of characters and their interactions but doesn't tie itself to a specific setting.

Trilogy begins with The Appendices - conventionally in epic fantasy these are at the end and document information about the wider world that might not have made it into the story, but here it is where you sit down as a group and decide what tone you want your game to have, and your world looks like. What kind of place is it? What magic is there? What is religion like? What are the major cultures where the story begins? How would it feel to be in this world? Trilogy doesn't tell you any of these things, it gives you the tools to think through how you want your world to look.

This creates a secondary challenge - without knowing what the world looks like, how could I design character classes for this type of game? Trilogy answers this by going back to the fundamentals - instead of a conventional character class, the playbooks in Trilogy represent a narrative arc. Some of them, like The Fighter, The Priest, or The Magus, look like familiar classes. Others, such as The Volunteer, The Mentor, The Weapon, or The Defeated, are a little different. Character arcs have a set of turning points, story beats that allow you to advance along your arc after you have collected a certain amount of experience. Some are positive and others negative, you choose which ones you want to hit and when, but every character's story has its highs and lows and to get the most from the game you need to lean into both. A character can pass through three arcs as they grow and change, like the three volumes of a trilogy.

The aim of the game is to create a slower but satisfying sense of progression - instead of hit points characters take Stress and Harm like in other Powered by the Apocalypse games that can have both mechanical and narrative effects. That makes combat feel dangerous, but the game also offers more ways to solve problems without getting into combat - I have played games where the player characters never got into a fight, instead resolving confrontations through an ingenious selection of alternative strategies including "lying" and "vomiting magic ink all over the floor." I'm genuinely enthusiastic about this game - I think I would be as excited about it if somebody else had written it. It leans hard into the joy of discovery and the excitement of adventure - you can play it as spooky and whimsical or gritty and hard-edged and anywhere in between.

Because I was writing it I even got to make most of the examples of play roll out as the story of someone's game, something I always appreciate when I read it. It also contains every technique I use as a GM in the hope that even before people get the chance to play it (heaven forbid any TTRPG afficionado have books we haven't got around to playing yet!) people who read it will still be able to use that advice in their other games. So that's Trilogy, the game I've been working on for the last few years. I think it's pretty great and I hope you will too:

Obviously it's a full-priced game and that's a big gamble from an unfamiliar creator - if you want an idea of what it's like in practice we've got the CDS team back together and we're starting a streamed campaign so you have a chance to see it in action. You can find that over on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxpXacko9Nc

The first episode includes me notably failing to use OBS at both the beginning and end, and I can't make any promises things will improve in that regard, but it should be a good opportunity to see how the game shapes up from this start and with this crew I know it's going to be funny and take some wild swings. If you're interested in reviewing Trilogy or you really want to give it a try but you can't afford it, drop me a message

[kirby-manga-translated]

It’s Kirby Time - Book 9 English Translation + An Update on Blog Happenings

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! IT'S HEEEEERE!! A truly adorable story about Kirby and Meta Knight deciding to spend some alone time and the activities they like to do during that time. Featuring beautiful illustrations painstakingly cleaned up by myself, this one is a must-read for fans of the relationship between Kirby and Meta Knight. Read the full thing at the links below:

Imgur

Google Drive

...But wait, there's more! Because the illustrations are so pretty, here's a link to a folder containing just those illustrations with no text at all! https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/19z8WLah-ZGES2jnyZOILJKc9kE75Wvs9?usp=drive_link (I'm probably also gonna make a post featuring all these images on their own soon.)

Finally, I have an update regarding the blog. tl;dr, I'm definitely gonna keep doing translations, but the rate at which they are completed and uploaded is most likely going to change soon. I don't know by how much or even if it will be positive or negative. For a more detailed explanation, click the Keep Reading.

So, I got a job! *audience cheers* But the job does not involve translating Kirby manga. *audience "aww"s* Ordinarily I wouldn't get more specific than that since I try to avoid revealing too much about my personal life, but in this case the explanation won't make much sense unless I do, so: The job entails working on fishing boats. This means that there isn't really a set daily schedule or even a weekly schedule. When the boats are fishing, I'm working, and when they're not, I have next to nothing to do.

I've been told by many people that I should expect a lot of down time for that reason, so I'll definitely have time to work on translations. However, I can't predict exactly how much I get and I also most likely won't have an internet connection on the boat. All this is to say that I literally do not know how this is going to affect the rate of translations on this blog beyond just, "It's going to change." I could find that I have so much down time on the boat that translating is the only thing that keeps me sane and I actually get more done. I could find that the boat I'm on is a super-busy one and I get barely any time at all. And regardless of which one of those happens, I won't be able to actually upload anything until the boat gets back into port, which is entirely dependent on how long it takes for the boat to catch all the fish it needs.

The job doesn't start for a couple weeks yet, so I'm gonna try to fulfill a few more requested chapters before then. Once again: I'm definitely going to keep translating, I just don't know how often I'll actually be able to do it. So enjoy this translation, look forward to more coming in the future, and please wish me luck both in my work and in getting time to translate!

[mahouowo]

Clow Card Divination 101

In this post I wish to share with you my favorite form of divination!

It's a long one so more under the read more!

The Clow cards (later Sakura/Star cards) are from the manga & anime Card Captor Sakura. The series follows a girl called Sakura Kinomoto who finds a book in her father’s study called the Clow book. The book contains Clow cards which were made by Clow Reed before his life ended; sealed away until Sakura accidentally releases them. With the Clow cards gone and only left with The Windy, the story follows her capturing all the escaped cards. When she finally has all of them it becomes clear she is next in line to become the master of them. Thus, the cards ‘evolve’ into the Sakura/Star cards by Sakura signing her name onto them.

Clow Reed and The Clow

Clow Reed was a sorcerer born with both English & Chinese heritage. His parents were from very powerful families of magic users and because of his mixed heritage, Clow Reed came to be the most powerful sorcerer ever known. He created The Clow; cards encompassing both Western (Sun) & Eastern (Moon) magic. Each card has their own personality and tremendous power. With the creation of The Clow he also created two guardians called Cerberus & Yue.

Cerberus

Cerberus (aka Kero) is one of the two guardians of The Clow. He is bossy, confident and overindulgent, but also positive and fun. Clow Reed left Kero with the task to find the next master of the cards when he died. Although Kero chooses Sakura out of consequence, he becomes her guide for The Clow throughout the story and helps her through many ordeals. His power is that of the sun & western magic and the cards under him reflect his personality and domain. Just like the sun he generates his own energy instead of needing his master’s to survive.

Yue

Yue is the other guardian of The Clow. He is cold, serious and aloof but he has a kind heart. He cared very deeply for his old master, so much so that he had a hard time accepting Sakura as the new one. Yue is in charge of judging the person Kero chooses to see if they are worthy of being the new master of the cards. Because of his hard time accepting anyone other than Clow Reed it took a while before Sakura could convince him; not wanting to hurt him. His power is that of the moon & eastern magic and the cards under him reflect his personality and domain. Just like the moon he doesn’t generate his own magic and needs his master’s energy to survive.

System

The Clow cards work under a hierarchy. The attribute cards rule over the elemental cards and the elemental cards rule over every card underneath. When laying cards, if any of the attribute cards or the elemental cards come up they influence the reading greatly with their meanings.

The Suits

The Light Suit

The cards under The Light stand for all that is everyday life, lightheartedness and fun. The exception to this suit is The Shadow, but without light there is no shadow, thus it is included here instead of The Dark suit. I also relate The Light suit with the major arcana in tarot, albeit the positive side more than the negative side. Positive things like having good fortune or good things that we do not have immediate control over.

The Dark Suit

The cards under The Dark stand for all that is mysterious, unknown, and otherworldly. This includes parts of life we might not like, but still have to go through. Just like the Light suit I relate The Dark suit with the major arcana in tarot. It talks about things we thus far had no control over, but notifies us to think about those aspects and invites us to take the necessary steps for positive change. It will be a challenge and we might even fear it, but life is filled with ups and downs. When we get through our down period, we face the better times triumphantly with an experience richer and we might even be better equipped to handle a similar situation in the future.

The Fire Suit

The cards under The Firey stand for action, passion, temper and upheavals. It tells us that one way or another we need to put our all into it. Whether it’s to keep trying, fully take something out of our lives or try our best to hit that mark. Yes, it may be challenging and the road might be bumpy, but the vitality & creativity of the Fire suit tells us that we can do this. Sometimes all we need is willpower & determination!

The Water Suit

The cards under The Watery stand for emotion, relationships and intuition. Although the Watery is an aggressive card of its own, the cards underneath it tend to be more calm, soft and some are even fun! However, the cards underneath the Watery are also related to how we handle situations and react to the world and people around us on an emotional level.

The Earth Suit

The cards under The Earthy stand for stability, security, & strength. They are about the material self or about things related to the self. Whether this is protecting one’s self, finding balance around one’s self or breaking material cycles.

The Wind Suit

The cards under The Windy stand for communication, truth & clarity. It's about taking a step back and thinking it through sometimes. Although the element of air is related to the mental realm not all cards in the wind suit are related to it. Some are about literal movement as well.

Individual Card Meanings

This is a long list with a few words per card. I am working on a more in-depth document regarding The Clow because many people, including myself, don't think the official fortune telling book really fits with its descriptions. The Clow cards each have their own individual & unique personality which shine through in their meanings. Why not add those into the equation? There are also meanings that come from my personal use of the cards. Use what you feel is right!

The set I bought came with The Miracle card which I use myself so I included it here as well. It does not belong to a suit like The Hope & The Nothing.

The Dark

unknown, uncomfortable, needs over wants, catastrophic thinking, night, challenge, mystery

The Light

day, clear, going to be okay, enlightenment, positivity, encouragement

The Firey

arrogance, passion, rage, explosive, high energy, drive, fire

The Watery

emotions, co-operation, relations, water

The Earthy

body, material, earth, stoic, barren, stability

The Windy

intelligence, mental clarity, bind, mentality, wind, logic, analyzing

The Arrow

shooting your shot, several chances, scattered, many passions, aiming but not shooting, goal-oriented, inspiration

The Big

not as scary as it seems, big heart, non-discriminating, means well, friendly, clumsy, oblivious, ditsy

The Bubbles

clean slate, cleansing, cleaning, make a prototype, there is an idea but nothing concrete, ephemeral

The Change

empathize, change, camouflage, fitting in, mask, invisibility, hiding, aversion to change, mind games

The Cloud

brain fog, confusion, emotionally clogged, pretending to be fine, making the best out of a bad situation

The Create

creation, manifestation, inspiration, writing, paper, art, imagination, creativity

The Dash

avoidance, speed, quick thinking, shy, scared, skittish, escape

The Dream

prophecies, dreams, occult, knowledge, clair senses, veiled, obscure

The Erase

declutter, moving on, lift the veil, revelation

The Fight

giving it 110%, hard work, disciplined, meticulous, brash, actions speak louder than words, exercise, hidden power, assertive, willpower

The Float

detached, big picture, head in the clouds, more than it seems, take a step back

The Flower

friends, fun, longevity, light-hearted, optimistic, joyful, calm, relaxed, party, celebration

The Fly

moving, flying, soaring, travel, big change, transformation, open-mindedness, support, freedom

The Freeze

congeal, frozen, stagnation, cold, many pieces to a whole, sharp, splintered

The Glow

good fortune, kindness, beauty, peace, inspiration

The Hope

positivity, wish, hope, content, look at the brightside, love, oneness/unity, happiness

The Illusion

see what you want to see, imagination, longing

The Jump

leap before you look, reach further heights, pestering, stupidity

The Libra

balance, truth, weighing options, justice

The Little

small, bullying, sadism, annoyance, schadenfreude

The Lock

stability, shut-in, not available right now, familiarity

The Loop

repeat, habit, link, infinity

The Maze

self-created, lost, (feeling) stuck, distorted

The Miracle

divinity, support, family, miracle

The Mirror

leadership, regret, mirroring, confrontation, image

The Mist

toxicity, decay, elusive, destructive

The Move

turning heads, chase, small steps, keeping it small

The Nothing

nothing, void, negativity, (fear of) abandonment, loneliness, despair

The Power

Showing-off, pride, trouble maker, friendly challenge

The Rain

fun, abundance, jokes, free-spirited, chaotic

The Return

a need for change, regret, living in the past, restore, nostalgia, return, learning (from the past)

The Sand

multiple options, jack of all trades, adaptability

The Shadow

two sides, hidden, consequences, the shadow archetype

The Shield

defensive, jealous, protest, protection, help others, idealism, steadfastness

The Shot

obsession, events speed up, hectic times, ruthless, stubborn, willpower, lashing out

The Silent

meditation, contemplation, look within, loud, sensory overload, solitary

The Sleep

sleep, end, momentary peace, forgetfulness

The Snow

witty, control, purity, management

The Song

bliss, happiness, singing, music, song, mimicry, perfectionism

The Storm

bothered, moody, overthinking, uncertainty

The Sweet

sweets, self-love, rest, relaxation, take care of yourself

The Sword

challenge, anger, precision, conflict, cutthroat, confrontation

The Through

omit, remove, invisible, spirits

The Time

time, when, exhaustion

The Thunder

upheaval, sudden, rampage, lightning, tower-moment

The Twin

two people, equal, entwined, together, stuck, co-depend, pattern, fate, cycles, habit (and breaking of), hurting without meaning to harm, duality

The Voice

greedy, communication, all talk no action, venting

The Wave

overwhelmed, tidings, emotionally moving

The Wood

growth, perseverance, gentleness, nature, patience, sensuality, abundance, altruism, fertility, breaking habits

[scratchpad-sagas]

Thoughts on Daredevil: Born Again episode 5 "With Interest"

With the whole mini series trend taking the television  world by storm, I started watching Born Again knowing it would only have so many episodes to make the mark it needed to. The insane amount of potential kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the weeks; as "Sic Semper Systema" wrapped up, I was slightly more confident that Born Again would finish strong... then came "With Interest".

I'll be honest, at first, I was put off by it. I hated it. I do admit, episode 5 IS a quality episode, it just doesn't mesh with the rest of the series! While it was admittedly entertaining, it was also a MAJOR tone shift too jarring to swallow. Everything seemed so much more lighthearted than what had been set up previously, and Yusuf Khan didn't help the cause. On a surface level, yeah, his cameo was cute! I loved seeing him and Matt interact, however, as a serious DD fan, it just... didn't work. Not only did the cameo feel <super> out of place, but the entire episode had the vibe of a totally different show!

I kept waiting for something to change before the credits rolled, waiting for something to switch and clue us back into the gritty, haunting world of Daredevil we all know and love, but it never happened.

By the end, Mom and I shared the same sentiment: what the hell was that? Episode 4 was so good, where did that momentum go?

Then, later, a friend and I watched the episode together, and his opinion helped turn mine around.

My good friend Joe is just as big of a fan of Daredevil as I am, probably even more so! He started with the comics, and appreciates the live action adaptations for their strengths and weaknesses. As we watched the episode, it was clear from the get-go that Joe was having a great time! He thoroughly enjoyed "With Interest" not because it was an excellent addition to the overarching plot, but <because> it was its own, self-contained one-shot. Joe described his fondness for episode 5 with a memory from his childhood, visiting a local comics shop after a day of running errands with his dad. They didn't often have the chance to stop by, so when they did, it wasn't about keeping up with whatever epic saga was ongoing at the time! It was about whatever looked <cool>! THAT was the essence of the good ol' days of comic books, because you didn't need to read every chapter of every volume! You could just pick up an issue and immerse yourself in a world of showoff heroics vs everyday thugs or memorable villains (often wrapped up with a nice message or life lesson). 

This key difference reminded me of <another> comic book hero whose various adaptations, while polarizing, are equally worthy in their own rights. I'm talking, of course, about Superman. Specifically the Man of Steel film, and the Superman Returns film. Both are cherished movies, but for <very> different reasons! Man of Steel is a modern, more realistic take on Superman, quite literally washed-out and gritty in nature and picture. Superman Returns, however, is the epitome of the phrase "comic book adaptation"; it skillfully balances the exaggerated designs of the sacred texts with the high-stakes drama of fictional villains in a real life setting! From color palettes to stunts and dialogue, there's a theatrical vibe to every element.

I think the word I'm looking for is "romanticized". In just the same way as Man of Steel vs Superman Returns, "With Interest" is the romanticized perspective of Charlie Cox's Matt Murdock that we've never seen. The Netflix Daredevil world IS the dark and gritty portrayal we're used to, while I'd say the Ben Affleck film is the dramatic opposite. As all things do, they both have their positives and negatives, but at the end of the day, they represent an alternate facet of the character which can't be compared, only contrasted. 

Final thoughts? "With Interest" is okay. It doesn't necessarily fit the mold, but it certainly doesn't deserve any hate or negative reviews. <Especially> given what was learned after the fact. For context, I'm gonna paraphrase what I read about Born Again after the release of episode 5. (Note: this is NOT a firsthand account!! Just the internet findings of a very intrigued fan!)

The production of Born Again was heavily affected by the SAG-AFTRA strikes of 2023. Originally, Born Again was handled by an entirely different team of people, written in an entirely different direction. It's said that the initial plan was to take the Daredevil world onto a more unique path, essentially having the Netflix cast, but with a totally clean slate. There were supposed to be few, if any ties to the Netflix universe. Even the genre was different! At some point, the crew in charge of the show was shuffled around. A new showrunner took the reins, even Kevin Feige stepped in. However, lots of things had already been filmed. Time was ticking down and there were few opportunities to make any major changes to the things they had. Long story short, after the big switch, the new Born Again team had to work with stuff left by the previous crew. 

Until the next post~

Surprisingly, though! It's said that "With Interest" was the <only> episode to go without any changes; basically, it IS an episode from an entirely different show! Given ALL of that, I'm willing to give it a pass on the extremely off-putting vibes. Still, it sucks that it mostly doesn't contribute to the rest of the series... but, I digress.

Solid 6/10.

May 22, 2025

[sehetep-shenwer]

I think I'm gonna have to do my Wep Ronpet spell early since the supposed day falls at a time where I might be on the road. I'm going to share my spell here and hope it helps anyone who is yet to celebrate it.

Out with the old in with the new spell.

Ingredients:

Red incense paper

Green incense paper

If you don't have these, try and get red and green pieces of paper or use red and green pens/markers for a plain piece of paper.

The ancient Egyptians had many meanings for red and green and in this context, red represents negativity, anger, and evil whereas green represents goodness, positivity, and rebirth.

Four white candles with sticky notes so you can reuse the candles for other things.

Something to burn the incense paper in (make sure to always be careful with this!)

Anything that resembles any Netjeru you wish to invite with you (statues, plushies, stones, etc.)

Steps:

This spell will take two parts. The first part at night and the second part at morning. Before we get into those parts, here's what to do beforehand.

Gather your four candles and draw the following images onto the sticky notes

Next you will take your pieces of incense paper and write what you wish to be rid of on the red piece of paper and what you wish for on the green piece of paper.

For the red piece of paper, concentrate all your anger, sorrow, and negativity as you write what you want to leave behind and be rid of for the upcoming year.

For the green piece of paper, concentrate on positivity, calmness and openness as you write what you wish to come to you in the upcoming year.

Once you have done all that, we can move onto the first part of doing the spell at night, then the second part for the morning. Feel free to invite any deities you wish for both parts of course.

Part 1: night

Whether you choose to perform this part of the spell outside or inside is up to you, though I would highly advise burning the incense outside as you don't want this shit to remain in your home.

Place your candles in the appropriate directions, light them, and invoke their meanings. If you have invited any deities with you, invoke their names and epithets as well. Place the container in which you will burn your incense paper in the center of the candles. Repeat all of this for part 2.

Hold your piece of red incense paper high and say the following aloud:

"Em hotep, netjeru. As the year comes to an end so must all that is written here! I demand to be rid of (read off what you have listed). May it never follow me into the new year. So I have said it, so shall it be"

Now place your incense paper inside the container and burn it.

Envision all you have written down being destroyed. You could visualize Sobek ripping it apart with His jaws or Sekhmet shredding it with Her claws, rhyme not intended.

Focus all your negative emotions and thoughts and visualize them burning up with the incense, vanishing with the smoke.

Once there is nothing but ash, speak to it firmly and say "you are nothing more".

Blow out your white candles and thank your deities for being with you.

Take the ashes of the incense and dispose of them. You can get creative with this by doing stuff like spitting on the ashes, stomping on them, or anything else you can think of.

Wash out your container completely before performing part 2 of the spell.

Once you've cleaned up the space in which you've performed the spell, feel free to leave offerings for any deity you bought with you tonight.

Part 2: morning

Whether you choose to perform this part of the spell outside or inside is up to you.

As stated before, place your candles in the appropriate directions, light them, and invoke their meanings. If you have invited any deities with you, invoke their names and epithets as well. Place the container in which you will burn your incense paper in the center of the candles.

Hold your piece of green incense paper high and say the following aloud:

"Em hotep, netjeru. As the year comes to an end, I wish to manifest and invite good things into the new year. I open myself up to (read off what you have listed). Please hear my prayers and know my love and devotion to you is immeasurable. So I have said it, so shall it be."

Now place your incense paper inside the container and burn it.

Envision all you have written down entering into your life. You could visualize yourself receiving money, being approached by a new lover, or even just new doors opening for you to walk through.

Focus all your positive emotions and thoughts and visualize them coming true within the flames, as if they're being delivered through the smoke to the Gods.

Once there is nothing but ash, speak to it gently and say "thank you for hearing me".

Blow out your white candles and thank your deities for being with you.

Take the ashes of the incense and dispose of them. Dump them into a stream or river or you can offer them to which ever deities you invited with you.

Once you've cleaned up the space in which you've performed the spell, feel free to leave offerings for any deity you bought with you today.

Conclusion

Sorry about copying and pasting stuff for both parts, I just didn't want to make it confusing. I hope this helps some folks out on this Wep Ronpet and future ones too. Have fun and be safe y'all. Senebty!

[eidechsejaspis]

The man I once was, the man I am now.

Artur Pendragon, bearer of the shard of Azem's soul, but also the shard of Thanatos's soul. If it isn't forbidden in game, so I can play with it a little bit XD Thanatos is the Executioner, one and only in unsundered Etheirys. Of course there were lots of Thanatoses during Etheirys history! If interested, read below!

Thanatos of Eteiris. So: I generally like to expand the number of inhabitants inside the world, because Amaroth is rich not only with Convocation 14. Well, I don't believe that crimes are not committed there. And when there are crimes, there must be an executioner. So, this executioner is Thanatos. The same elected position, but there is a nuance: Thanatos does not belong to the Convocation, he belongs to the Court. But at the same time, he works together with Emet-Selch. He does not communicate with the rest of the 14, so Hythlodaeus did not recognize him on the Moon and only noted his "eerie presence".

There is another nuance in the position of Thanatos. The predecessor chooses his successor and trains him, watches the change in moral qualities and, when the time comes, challenges the protégé to a duel. The successor is obliged to kill Thanatos in order to take his post. This is connected with another feature of all Thanatoses, namely their souls: they are all born with a Void in their souls. Maybe it is a piece of dynamis that has somehow settled in their souls (I am inclined to this option), maybe it is another natural deviation, no one knows.

But during the lifetime service, the Void of Thanatos is filled with so to speak "negative" dynamis (let's call it that for now), because the criminal does not want to leave for the planet of his own free will, and forced sending leads to the release of negative emotions accordingly. It must be said that the very first Thanatoses (normal Ancients with normal souls) relatively quickly lost their minds, and once there was even a burstout of dynamis, which caused a local cataclysm.

Then, for the first time, they paid attention to this type of energy, but, since the Ancients are too attached to the aether, things did not go beyond observation, because it was very difficult for them to work with this type of energy.

Therefore, the position was almost distributed among several Amarotians, until one of them accidentally came across a student with such a Void. Of course, they watched him for a long time and developed a set of countermeasures if the executioner friend went amock and released all the dynamis at once. The measures were, of course, from the series "maybe it will help", but better than nothing.

Despite the fact that not all families were happy to give their son or daughter to be raised as Executioners, there was little choice for both children and parents. Live of such individuals was short and dull and often they committed suicide (ancients with the Void that didn’t contain dynamis of the executed could return to the Aetherial sea without cataclysm to occur) which put to shame the whole family – how could that happen that their kid was so unhappy to kill himself/herself?

So there was no real fight against any Executioner when he or she came after a child.

I must say that Thanatoses have a way of thinking that differs from the others’. They, after their mission was explained to them, saw nothing awful in it, and had no struggle with it. Except times when they FELT (I don’t know how to explain it better – let’s call it intuition) that they were going to execute an innocent person. Thus once happened with the last Thanatos and Themis who was falsely accused. Thanatos asked Emet-Selch (Hades, yes) to make judges etc investigate the case more thoroughly and was happy to execute the real criminal afterwards. Dying, Thanatos gives his successor all the so-called baggage of "negative dynamis" in order to free his own soul (Thanatos are unable to voluntarily go to the planet) and finally go and rest until the next reincarnation.

As studies have shown, about 6/10 of the dynamis dissipates without harm during the transfer process, and the successor's Void receives, so to speak, stabilization. The last Thanatos was, of course, sane and had an excellent sense of smell (several times he refused to send the condemned to the planet and demanded further investigation, going into conflict with the court).

When the Last Days came, he did not join Emet saying that he would not become an executioner for the innocent. In general, he supported Venat's idea of ​​​​Separation. As a result, he was sundered. The Void of Thanatos has the ability to naturally absorb souls. Of course, it's unpleasant for the Ancient One, but not fatal, especially if he's an executioner with a job, but for a mere mortal it'll be tough. Part of the soul with the Void went to Zenos. In short, the guy lost big in the roulette of Destiny… He had his own soul, of course, but it was slowly devoured by a part of the Void. If you consider that the Void influenced the emotional reactions of the Thanatos, so to speak, muffling them, then it's easy to guess that a regular mortal was destined for chronic depression. Plus some experiments of Emet-Selch on a baby (stabilization of the Void, so that it wouldn't devour Zenos's soul ahead of time and wouldn't drift back into the Stream of Life), plus awesome displays of empathy from all sides (sarcasm, yes). The only thing that slightly delayed the absorption of the soul was Resonant (which ultimately did not allow the man to die peacefully), plus the energy received from merging with Shinryu. Plus the soul itself resisted, not wanting to die and as a defense mechanism, a fixation on battles and mortal danger developed as a result, giving a hefty adrenaline rush, at least slightly drowning out the Void. The scale is incomparable, of course, but Zenos held out for almost 30 years. Not bad.

[clericofgale]

Get to know your Tav

This is my most recent Galemancer Tav, I still haven't picked a canon Tav yet. We're still in Act 1!

Malisstra Silverhair (She/her)

Daughter of Elistraee, Servant of Mystra| Half-Elistraean Drow | 🌟Knowledge Cleric of Mystra🌟| "Gale, with you I forget my goddess"

What is your Tav’s…

Name from: Her name means student/acolyte(isstra) of Mysteries(Mal) in Drow. Silverhair refers to her silver hair, obviously. If she lets you call her Mal: she'll probably die for you, too

favorite weapon: She started with a rapier, but the moment she found Phalar Aluve in the Underdark it became her favored melee weapon. The fact an Elistraeen weapon acknowledged her made her feel connected to her mother, despite ending up a Mystran cleric instead of Elistraean.

style of combat: She's a dex cleric so a mix of archery, spells and occasionally melee if it comes to that. She's happiest towards the back near Gale though. Hmmmm...🤔

most prized possession: Her earrings are from her mother when she started her adventure to be an itinerant cleric. She told Mal she only need to look to the stars to find both her mother and Mystra within. When she's feeling overwhelmed emotionally positive or negative Mal will fidget with them as a result.

deepest desire: To find love and friendship. Serving Mystra can be rather lonely if one delves too much into their academic obsessions at the cost of socialization. Mal, much like Gale or Lenore, has fallen victim to this pitfall.

guilty pleasure: Smut and comfort trash books with negative societal value. Drizzt fanfiction? oh yes! Manuals on sexual applications of spells that's filled with detailed pictures? It's um....academic I swear!

best-kept secret: Her faith to Mystra is strong, but she fears it's actually a love of books/knowledge/magic that tether her to Mystra. Not pure fervent devotion to her Lady. Sometimes she wonders if She should've followed her mother's footsteps after all. Her growing attachment to Gale and watching how he's treated by the Lady of Mysteries will test her faith indeed.

greatest strength: She's incredibly passionate and filled with big emotions. It drives her to do good and see the beauty in life. To ponder the mysteries of the realms.

fatal flaw: She's incredibly passionate and filled with big emotions. Sometimes they are too big. Sometimes she fails to contain them and makes rash decisions at the cost of herself.

favorite smell: The mixture of weave, ink, and old parchment.

favorite spell or cantrip: Faerie Fire. Her mother taught her how to channel her innate faerzress to cast it, and Mal loves how beautiful it is.

pet peeve: When people can't tell her apart from a moon elf. Or worse, get all racist when they can. Even more petty, people whose eyes glaze over when she tries to explain something.

bad habit: Is the thing in anyway a book? it's going into the chest. She'll catalog and organize it! She hasn't in fact, cataloged any of it. It's all in a pile tall as an owlbear and with Gale/Mal making the mess worse, it'll take Deneir himself to sort it.

hidden talent: She's not half bad with a flute, and can keep up with Wyll in dance. If she wasn't such a NERD in another life she might've followed her mother's footsteps and trained to be a sword dancer.

leisure activity: Playing her flute or reading trash books(in secret of course!).

favorite drink: Wine! And she's embarrassed that she's a bit snobby about it.

comfort food: Whenever Gale makes something Waterdhavian. It reminds her of the time she spent in(ok well mostly under technically) Waterdeep when she was a child.

favorite person: Don't tell her mother but it's a tie between Gale and Mal's mother. And Gale's winning by proximity. Gale's from Waterdeep and they love to talk about the City of Splendors over a glass of wine. Not to mention wine, books and magic. Gale meanwhile is fascinated by Mal's Elistraean upbringing.

favored display of affection: Little acts of service. A patient ear. A light cantrip for reading. A shoulder to lean on. A warm drink on a cold night. Little displays of magic.

fondest childhood memory: Her mother teaching her faerie fire. It made her fall in love with magic.

Thanks for the tag @hotnerdywizard. I'll not tag anyone, but feel free to do the questions if you wish.

[paradiserottttt]

— INTRODUCING , 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐘𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐕 .

*     ◟    :    〔   ritu arya  ,      non-binary    +   she/they    〕      KARUNA YADAV ,      some say you’re a  THIRTY-TWO YEAR OLD         lost soul among the neon lights.      known for being both  FORTHRIGHT  and  CANTANKEROUS ,  one can’t help but think of  BULLET MAN   by   PARIS TEXAS  when you walk by.    are you still a  SOLDIER /  UNDERGROUND FIGHTER  at    JADE TRIBE / RALPH’S BOXING GYM ,     even with your reputation as the BELLADONNA?     i think we’ll be seeing more of you and   BRUISED AND BATTERED KNUCKLES , SHOTS OF WHISKEY AS HARSH AS YOU , COMBAT BOOTS MADE FOR STOMPING ,  although we can’t help but think of FURIO (THE SOPRANOS) , MARLA SINGER (FIGHT CLUB) , TOJI FUSHIGURO (JUJUTSU KAISEN)  whenever we see you down these rainy streets. 

— STATS . FULL NAME . karuna yadav NICKNAMES . una BIRTHDAY . april 13th AGE . thirty-two GENDER . non-binary PRONOUNS . she/they ORIENTATION . bisexual biromantic FAMILY . none OCCUPATION . underground fighter @ ralph's boxing gym / soldier w/ hanging man & personal bodyguard for marcia ramos MARKINGS/TATTOOS . these tattoos PIERCINGS . triple earlobe piercings and cartilage piercings HEIGHT . 5’4

— PERSONALITY . POSITIVE TRAITS . adaptive, energetic, resourceful, spontaneous, independent NEGATIVE TRAITS . abrasive, crass, destructive, hedonistic, inconsiderate, nihilistic, reckless, tactless LANGUAGES . english, some russian, some italian EDUCATION . she can read MBTI . istp (the explorer) ENNEAGRAM . type 8 (the challenger) MORAL ALIGNMENT . chaotic neutral.  DEADLY SIN . wrath  HEAVENLY VIRTUE . diligence ZODIAC . aries sun 

— BIOGRAPHY . tw: child abandonment, violence THE FIRST YEARS OF THEIR LIFE ARE SPENT IN A STATE OF NAMELESSNESS. A fact destined to perplex the most sensible people around them. It’s a degree of familial neglect unheard of by most, for even the cruelest of guardians are decent enough to pluck their undesirables from nameless obscurity. She prefers things this way. No name they could’ve given her would’ve suited her fancy. It could never truly be their own.

They do not they’re the seventh or eighth child, something they and their nameless sister presently debated as they absentmindedly scrubbed the floor near the doorway. Work came before play and play never lived up to her expectations. Anything resembling a toy in the [redacted] household is subject to the same fate— destruction or an unexplained disappearance. 

Fights occurred on a regular basis. Whether as a form of entertainment or a resolution to a disagreement, they have their fair share of brawls for both these reasons. They’re one of the better fighters in the family, in spite of them being one of the youngest. Even the smallest of slights were to be resolved in this manner— this they always insist upon.

Perhaps in some other world, she receives formal training as a boxer or wrestler, a name alongside a well adjusted family, but that is not the case for her in this life. Instead, she is spat into the city streets with nothing but the clothes on her back and money pilfered from her various siblings. 

They are crafty in keeping their belly full.  That is their only priority in the early days. Staying alive. Perhaps purely out of spite. Enemies come and go with frequency, friends are made every once in a blue moon. Waywardness suits them— they did not find comfort in routine. 

Odd jobs, decent luck, and an occasional good samaritan leave you with an occasional place to lay your head. Other nights are spent in parks, shelters, and beyond. They eventually stumble across a fighting ring of sorts. They’re only 17 then— but they pad their age as a way of entering the competition being held. The prize money was hefty— larger than any amount she’d ever been in possession of.

The takedown of their first opponent comes easily. The audience is amazed by how quickly it occurs— but little do they know, you’ve got more anger than your body can contain and hands that have been primarily used for pummeling. Where some dedicate their hands to creation— their hands are a means of a destruction instead.

She doesn’t win the grand prize but performs well enough that they invite her back to train. They’ve got a pretty face and could pack a punch (and could take one too)— you didn’t come across their sort every day. They continue fighting with the ring, making more money than they ever made on the streets. One of the fighters even allows them to crash at their place for the time being. 

She’s 24 when first recruited by the Mafia. After being caught pummeling some guy in an alley, she’s roped into becoming an associate. She eventually works her way up to soldier, carrying out hitman jobs, and eventually working her way up to lead enforcer. 

Playing by a handbook entirely of your own making is what eventually lands them in trouble. Eventually, their inability to follow protocol is enough to get them demoted. They’re promised their position back if they’re able to stay in line, but for now, they’ve been tasked with working as a bodyguard for MARCIA RAMOS When they’re lucky, Marcia throws them a crumb and lets them handle her dirty work— like in the old days. Perhaps if Karuna plays their cards right, they might actually learn something for once.  — FUN FACTS .

Loud, crass, and with a deep love for hard liquor— Marina’s mouth tends to get them in trouble. 

While they’re primarily a fighter, on occasion, they’re a lover, and matters of the heart also tend to get them in trouble. 

To put it plainly, Karuna is mostly brawn. They have street smarts, but they saw little use in formal education— not when survival was always their main priority. 

They’re always down to settle a disagreement with a little hand-to-hand combat.

Has used names prior to Karuna— but there’s no formal record of her ever having a birth name. 

Was never the sharpest tool in the shed.

— ; TLDR himbo street rat turned underground fighter slash recently demoted to bodyguard/enforcer for marcia ramos b/c they got in trouble for not following protocol &lt;;/3

[mephicchi]

Mephiston - 🎮, 💯, 🔱, ❤️, 💔, 🍛, 🤔

Ryker - 🎮, 💍, 💯, 🚫, 🐈, ❤️, 🤩

Veldreth - 🖊️, 📚, 💯, 🔺, 🐉, 🍎, 🤍, 🤔, 😓

Have fun :3c

I apologize for delaying this for so long, but here it finally is!!!!

It's quite a lot so read at your own discretion....there might be a lot of nonesense in here but that's my OCs (and my writing in general) in a nutshell, really.

Anon, thank you for this, though I had my troubles with some of it and had to think quite a long time about things I never considered for some of these OCs, it was incredibly fun and I do love finding out new stuff about my OCs!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3<3

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Mephiston:

🎮 - what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

Once upon a time it would have been training his swordsmanship or just training in general, working, even.

Currently he's enjoying the luxury of being retired, he loves to read, goes on walks (like the old man he is), mingles with other people all around the place and if his magical capabilities hadn't been suppressed recently, he'd be training his arcane skills currently! But alas.

💯 - share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Alright so I'm very bad at giving out random facts so I asked a friend of mine to supply me with three things to share:

A food they hate - Fish, he just doesn't like food containing any kind of fish. A very random skill - During the boring parts of his career as a knight Captain, Mephiston sat in his office for weeks at a time to take care of paperwork his predecessor had left behind for him, any source of entertainment is a blessing at that point so he is quite good at stuff like....spinning a pen around in your fingers or hitting the trashcan with paperwork that doesn't matter anymore. preferred sock color – Red, it's actually not too hard to guess, though he mostly wears black.

🔱 - can your oc swim? do they enjoy swimming?

During his youth Coerthas wasn't frozen yet so swimming in the wild during training expeditions with the Temple Knights was still very much an option that didn't result in freezing to death, and Mephiston very much took advantage of that!

Unfortunately nowadays he'd either have to leave Ishgard or go swimming in one of those heated pools in the Empyreum, neither of those options quite appeal to him.

❤️ - what are three of your oc's positive traits?

He's incredibly generous and loves to give away gil, items or anything really, though he often doesn't have much himself, he tries to be generous in other ways.

Mephiston is always ready to offer a helping hand, if people come to him and ask for help of any kind he'll hardly decline, they've put their faith in him and he's not ready to disappoint them.

Though Mephiston values many things, compassion towards others is the thing he puts front and center for himself, and I'd say he succeeds at it quite well.

💔 - what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Mephiston can be incredibly melancholic, letting most things that bother him eat him up from the inside, this can lead to Mephiston doing things like locking himself in his office for weeks at a time and focusing on his work, or a more recent example, disappearing in self-anguish both literally and figuratively for half a year.

He's disorganized to a comical extent, though he's able to get it together for work related things, everything else in his life tends to be quite wild, now that he doesn't have any work anymore, well......

Lastly, Mephiston will lie without second thought if he thinks it'll make the person he's talking with feel better and or stop a conflict from starting.

🍛 - what does your oc's typical dinner look like? do they usually eat dinner?

Though Mephiston can very much cook, he doesn't ever cook for himself (or anyone else for that matter, people never visit him to eat dinner), therefore he almost always eats dinner at restaurants or similar establishments.

As to what he usually chooses to eat; he loves a hearty stew with a good variety of vegetables, if he gets to choose the meat he'd pick lamb.

🤔 - what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Mephi has an obnoxiously loud laugh, though most often he tries to hold himself back by just chuckling a bit, he's a bit annoyed by his own laugh.

Whenever Mephiston visits a venue for the first time he chooses one or two items on their menu and sticks with those until the end of all life.

No one has seen Mephiston without his signature lipstick and eye shade in the past century, no one ever sees him put it on either, and honestly, it's probably better that way.

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Ryker:

🎮 - what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

Ryker is quite the athletic guy, he's in a fencing club, trains martial arts of many different kinds and loves to go running, unfortunately for his hobbies that's all he's really got going for him.

💍 - does your oc have any piercings? do they want any (more) piercings?

Currently Ryker only has earrings, I would say that other kinds of piercings would probably fit him, though he doesn't really concern himself with his looks so unless someone convinces him to go get more piercings, he won't think of it.

💯 - share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Ryker loves to make up stories as to how he lost his left eye, the truth however is much less heroic, he provoked a bar fight with some rowdies once, and one of them broke a bottle and slashed at Rykers face with it.

Though he is a Knight of Ishgard, Ryker was born in Gridania, his family still lives there but Ryker doesn't feel any connection to his birthplace.

He used to have quite long hair but he realized it got in the way during training quite often so he cut it off, nowadays he just keeps his very short hair.

🚫 - does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

Though Ryker often goes to bars he doesn't actually drink all that much, he loves the atmosphere and the social aspect of it, even if his personality and remarks often sour that atmosphere or even make him end up in fights, which is, of course, another reason why he loves to go to bars.

I'm not sure if Ryker would actually be aware of the existence of cigarettes, though if he was, he'd treat them much like alcohol, not smoking all that often but doing it whenever he feels like it, and who knows, maybe smoking would calm him down a bit.

🐈 - does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?

Ryker likes to keep a large circle of friends, though it's hard to call most of them that, his friend group is primarily limited to his fellow Knights, he isn't too close with any of them and all they really do is go to places together in bigger groups, but it's all Ryker knew for most of his life.

When Ryker was assigned under Knight Captain Godefroy he was invited to dinner by Mephiston several times, apparently the Knight Captain wanted to get to know the Knights assigned under him a bit better and perhaps even reach a level of friendship with them, Ryker however always declined.

❤️ - what are three of your oc's positive traits?

Ryker is incredibly brave, often to his own disadvantage but brave nonetheless, he doesn't scare away from a challenge.

He's very loyal, the thought of betraying the people he serves, his few friends or anyone he's decided to be loyal to, would never cross his mind, in fact, maybe he doesn't even know that betraying is an option in such a situation.

Lastly, he's very simple with his needs, a few sets of clothes, some food, a bed and a task he's assigned to are all Ryker needs to live a happy life, everything else is a luxury to him.

🤩 - is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions?

Though many might think Ryker is unfamiliar with the concept of planning, he has proven to be able to plan quite a bit ahead to reach his goals, however most often he gets impatient and acts spontaneous towards the end of such a plan.

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Veldreth:

Quick exclaimer for Veldreth, he's originally an OC within the The Elder Scrolls universe, whoever submitted this ask will only know of him through his FFXIV au though, so I'll go on a bit about both of these versions in many of these answers!

🖊️ - does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

He does have tattoos! Well, they're all kind of connected so I suppose he just has one giant tattoo?

Being experimental as he is, Veldreth thought "what if instead of having to enchant my clothes or accessories, I just enchant my own body?", and after reading through the dangers of it, hearing of failed experiments in the past and of horrible side effects for successful ones, he obviously had to try it himself.

Part of the process is covering one's own body in arcane runes, and since Veldreth wanted it to be permanent, well, he tattooed them on.

As fate would have it, his experiment was successful!....kind of, if he doesn't have a filled soul gem, or whatever the equivalent of such a thing is in other universes is, close to him at all times, the enchantment drains his soul.

Aside from that though, he now has a permanent bound/magical armor around his body.

But that's not related to the question so forgive me for going off topic!

📚 - what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

So, neither TES nor FFXIV have any public schools or anything of the kind, however if we go by hypotheticals, I'd say Veldreth would have a PHD in....hmmm, Conjuration!

It is a bit silly saying that, if we go by his accomplishments, he was a valued member of the Vvardenfell mages guild until being banished from it and after a long and arduous journey through the ranks of House Telvanni, he became a Master of the House, I'd say he's far beyond any level of education!

I don't want to put him too high up in his FFXIV au version though, since I want to avoid making him seem too powerful, important or anything of the kind, I fucked up back when I made Mephiston the knight captain of House Fortemps within the city of Ishgard so I won't be repeating the same mistake by saying Veldreth is a "Master of a Great House somewhere in Ilsabard" or a "Grandmaster in Summoning magicks", he's just....quite skilled and knowledgeable on the arcane and all sorts of other things!

💯 - share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

As you might have noticed, since I will barely ever get to talk about Veldreth this much again and most certainly not his original version, I tend to go off topic a bit and talk about other details about him at every occasion I can, so this won't be three random facts about him that are easily forgettable but more like....three bigger facts that I would probably not have gotten the chance to mention ever!

The people who met him in FFXIV might have noticed his first name, Voryn, and they might also have noticed how I only use the name Veldreth!

Well, Voryn *was* his first name, once he became a Telvanni Master (Or whatever he is in the FFXIV au) he forsake that name though, he deems himself the only noteworthy member of his family and therefore took the name for himself, using the name that was given to him by his parents, the weaker links of the family, would be a dishonor to himself.

Though House Telvanni is known for it's practice of slavery, Veldreth doesn't much care for it, he uses summons to take care of the tasks that slaves usually take care of in Telvanni society.

He has a wizards Tower, his former Telvanni Masters tower was on Vvardenfell but after said Master had....an accident with a pointy object in his back, well, Veldreth inherited that tower by pure coincidence! He didn't like it though so he grew his own on the Mainland of Morrowind, he called it "Tel Dun" which means something like Cursed Tower or Dark Tower in Dunmeri, I like to think he lives in a Tower in his FF14 au too.

🔺- does your oc know how to use any weapons?

Nowadays Veldreth mostly uses conjuration to take care of his problems, summoning things keeps his hands clean, he has been known to handle a dagger quite well in the past though, a good stab in the back can come in very useful at times.

🐉 - what is your oc's favorite mythical creature?

So neither TES nor FF14 really seem to have "mythical creatures" in the sense that they don't actually exist in some way, however I will just go by creatures that the general population might not see in their everyday lives.

For TES Veldreth is a big fan of various types of lesser daedra, due to him specializing in conjuration he has lots of experience in summoning them and even conversing with them, his favorite of the bunch would probably be Daedroth, Crocodile like bipedal Daedra, while Veldreth isn't all too brawny summoning a Daedroth usually makes up for that lack of brawn.

I suppose the closest for FF14 Veldreth would be voidsent, unfortunately I have no idea what kind of voidsent in particular for I don't know all too much about them myself, I'll have to look into it though.

🍎 - where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

So in his original universe, he was born in Morrowind, specifically on Vvardenfell, for his FFXIV au I went with "somewhere in Ilsabard" for now, where exactly, well..... that's a problem for future me.

Both versions still live close to their place of birth, TES Veldreth moved from the Island of Vvardenfell to the mainland of Morrowind at one point while the FFXIV au version most likely did something similar, though he is currently exploring Eorzea.

He doesn't care all too much for his birthplace, he doesn't feel any strong connection with it and is sure he could have accomplished all that he has accomplished no matter where he was born.

🤍 - what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?

Alright so, the difference between neutral/questionable traits and negative traits depends mostly on who you're talking to, so I'll just like three that I would think to be quite neutral, but I wouldn't blame you if you felt they were negative or positive instead of neutral.

While his lust for knowledge is never-ending, he's very content in general, he doesn't care to acquire "more power" or to reach higher ranks in House Telvanni or society as a whole, his current state of life is quite sufficient and the effort that would have to be put into changing it isn't worth it to him.

Veldreth is very absentminded, no matter if in private or in public places, once he starts thinking about something interesting to him he tends to disappear into his own mind, this even happens mid conversation from time to time, it could very well be that his tendency to not care all too much about others as long as he gets to do his own thing and follow his pursuit of knowledge is connected to the latter part in a way, offending people because he just starts ignoring them isn't a concern of his.

Though House Telvanni is inherently quite competitive, once Veldreth became a Master that sense of competition disappeared for him, ever since he's content with his state of life he's become incredibly uncompetitive and doesn't care to prove himself anymore, he knows what he can and can't do and what others might think of him, once again, doesn't matter to him.

🤔 - what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Veldreth talks to himself quite a lot, it's a bit connected to him being incredibly absentminded for he often doesn't even realize there's other people listening and he's really just in his own little bubble of thought.

He has a habit of documenting every magical experiment, summoning, or significant event in his life. He keeps detailed journals, grimoires and even scrolls that serve as both a personal history and a reference guide for his endeavours.

😓 - is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge?

Stubborn all the way, in all honesty, I don't think I need to go further into why and how.

He's very inquisitive, as you might have guessed from some other things I talked about along the way to this question, however he's dead set on learning and acquiring knowledge without direct help from others, if anyone dares try to teach  him something his mood will become very sour very quickly.

[theactsoftheapostles]

"The Snowstorm." From the Acts of the Apostles 16: 36-40.

The Talmud states the onset of the Mashiach will take place during Three Phases. Exposure to the Jewish belief in the Mashiach is called the First Condition. The Second Condition begins when the dogs bark, when intense debate begins. The Third Phase is acceptance. If we proceed to a Fourth Phase, the Mashiach is lost. We are currently within the Second Phase.

The world knows its behavior is not appropriate and a globally recognized solution to our problems is needed but it remains conflicted about Jesus, Allah, and gay people, women, black people, etc. the collage of humanity God gave us to contend with. All dissonance about these things are delusions of the mind. Man is fully equipped with the ability to pull his nose up, take a look around, and behave in an appropriate manner.

Luke calls the sudden realization "the police." Police know right from wrong, everyone else pretends and tries to escape from the police. So the argument against global ethical responsibility is the negative Mitzvah called the "barking dogs" but the police, who always know what is going on, are the positive Mitzvah. The police are therefore the only persons who can certify the onset of the Mashiach. Luke explains:

36 So the jailer told Paul, “The officials have sent an order for you and Silas to be released. You may leave, then, and go in peace.”

37 But Paul said to the police officers, “We were not found guilty of any crime, yet they whipped us in public—and we are Roman citizens! Then they threw us in prison. And now they want to send us away secretly? Not at all! The Roman officials themselves must come here and let us out.”

38 The police officers reported these words to the Roman officials; and when they heard that Paul and Silas were Roman citizens, they were afraid. 

39 So they went and apologized to them; then they led them out of the prison and asked them to leave the city. 

40 Paul and Silas left the prison and went to Lydia's house. There they met the believers, spoke words of encouragement to them, and left.

The secret to this frame is "whipped in public." The whippings are similar to the dogs barking, ie. public outrage over the fact persons are being asked to be decent to their fellow human beings. The Number is 1389, יגףט, "yagaft."

The Hebrew word "gaft" (גָּפֶת) refers to the masculine noun "gapt" (גֶפֶת), meaning "grape, vine". It is the feminine equivalent of the masculine noun "gapt" (גֶפֶת), and both are related to the verb "to grow, to blossom". 

Jesus spoke about the vine and the branches in John 15. The words of the Gospels must remain fixed, not as a tradition or a part of us, but they must become a colloqial phenomenon. Jesus speaks a great deal about testimony and persecution as a result of socializing the meaning of the Good News. So when the public starts whipping its saints, they must serve as the trellis for the grape vine about which Jesus spake.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 36: The officials sent an order. The Order is the Seder, it contains the ladder steps one needs to climb to realize the Good News, you have a right to be yourself. The Number is 6537, סהלז‎‎ ‎, sahalez‎‎ ‎, "the skills."

The Skills represent the Seder found in the 12 and also the Seventy tribes of Israel. They must be learned all at once. I have created an English version of the Skills here.

v. 37: But Paul said to the police: The Number is 16768, י״ון‎סח‎, yetahon‎sch‎, "you will be married."

Marriage in Jewish is between Shabbat, an end to all wicked tendencies and the Mashiach, and end to all public corruption. The Skills are the key. Though they are represented in a spiritual text, they signify the attributes of an upright public official rather than a priest of the faith.

One cannot hope to repair an injured society using corrupt officials, so it is imperative one read the Torah correctly and implement the Skills.

v. 38: The police reported the words to the officials. The first half of the Magthorah, the Torah itself teaches a rules based way of life. The second half, what is called the "rolled Torah" teaches intuition, i.e. how to sense what is invisible or only implied in the universe by the Holy Ghost. So after one reads the entirety of the Magthorah in order to learn the letters and the rules, one must "reroll it" and read it for the sake of sharpening one's skills of deduction.

The rerolling of the Torah is the subject of the Revelation. I have created a fully decrypted version here. It is excellent reading, sharply focused on the implementation of the Mashiach.

The Number is 8788, ףז‎ףח, ephaz‎ephach, "the estuary, the mouth of the water in the darkness."

If you don't head towards the light when immersed in the mouth of the river, you will get trapped.

Darkness is unomodified consciousness, light is modified consciousness. In order to find salvation one must learn how the light is modified by the study of the Script. This means pure perception of reality is necessary. One can be cognizant of one's inner experiences, but they must not modify the perception of the work of the Holy Ghost in creation. If this happens, salvation is lost.

v. 38-39: So they left the prison. The Number is 11333, יאשלג‎, yashlag, "potash". Without soluble potassium, which is naturally occurring, life on earth ends. When something necessary to vital life is missing from religious discourse, the potash or the "words of encouragement" of one who has experienced the Holy Ghost are missing. It is not enough to say God is Love or Jesus Saves.

The final Gemara is יגףטסהלז‎‎י״ון‎סחףז‎ףחיאשלג‎, "A snowstorm," אגף טסה ל‎‎י״ון‎סחףז‎ףחי אשלג, ‎"The Flight Wing of the Israeli Air Force."

The Angel Aggelos the "Air Force" of heaven, AKA the configuration of the Hebrew letters from which the Torah, Tanakh, Gospels, the Acts, the Revelation and the Quran were created are the one version of the Testimony God wants us to use.

As I have demonstrated, they never ever steer us the wrong way. If one uses the correct methods, one arrives at a clear, useful, and repeatable interpretation of the sacred scriptures of the Jewish people. There is no need for "preachers" or immature back woods stories about God or His Son or children.

We know if we toss the letters of the Hebrew alphabet into the air, they will naturally form the Script we call the Torah etc. Within their atom like connections and structures all the names, words, concepts, laws, and essences humanity needs in order to organize itself and become content naturally appear. There is no need for debate about this or how we should respond.

We now have what we need to move forward with the onset of ther Third Condition of the Mashiach.

[jobsearch-v02]

Questions to a Salesman

1) How much do you know about me? Very little, honestly. I could read about what others have written about you, or I could learn about you directly from you. I prefer the later, personally. It may seem like I'm being lazy, but it also suggests that I have an open mind. I don't want to come in with others preconceived notions of who you are.

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2) What keeps you going in the tough times & why does this make such a difference? Having ADHD, RSD, ASD, age, and a lot of other issues, what keeps me going are positive events. The one thing I learned from ADHD is that we can spiral into negative thought storms, what psychologist call depression. This is very different from NT depression, though, and can be easy treated by curating positive events. So, when I'm struggling with a difficult problem, I search for ways to solve the problem through positive events. And, when I cant curate positive events, usually due to physical illness, I seek the appropriate medical attention.

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3) What long term goals have you set for yourself? I'm preparing myself for a career in space. When Google stated back in 2010 that they wanted to replace computer programmers with AI, I saw that we were DoDo Birds now, so I needed to pivot and prepare for a more advanced career. Space exploration is it. I decided to burn as many brain cells on Physics as possible. It's not easy, but it is expanding my understanding of how math is used to describe physical phenomena. Space exploration will require experiments and testing with new electronics. It's a daunting task.

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4) When was the last time you set a goal and didn’t achieve it? As an ADHDr, achieving goals is a difficult task. I have over 80 different projects, as my attention waxes and waines. It's not that I can't complete goals, its that the path to my goal is very different. I have been working on one project since 1992, and another since 2000. I hope with the knowledge I'm gaining in Physics that I will be able to complete one of them, and with a new incites on the 2nd project, I should be able to publish it this year. It's hard being this patient, and waiting for the answer to a particular question that technology hasn't caught up to yet.

Most of the other projects concerning writing programs and books. Most of which I can do, they require hours in a library doing boring research, though. Not a strong positive motivator for an ADHDr. =)

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5) When was the last time you turned a 'no' into a 'yes'? Managing expectations is part of project management. And, as I explain to people, sometimes, you have to posit the question in such a way that you will always get a "Yes". This means understanding your audience, first. They may need a scenario where the only answer that they can give is .. do it! Otherwise, any other scenario you give will simply cause them to think, you're going to do it regardless of what I say. And, that thought is true. I've usually deduced that not doing it will cost more than doing it, but If I can't convince you through and explanation of the issue, then I won't try, and won't ask for forgiveness later. It needed to do get done, you were dragging your feet, you knew you were dragging your feet, and I got tired of waiting.

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6) What’s more important, mindset or process? Should trades be taught over a generalized education? These are both 2 sides of the same coin.

Take any office environment. You setup a routine to accomplish a project. You document it using best practices. Then a university researcher asks to see the play book. They take 100's of other play books and distill them down to create an educational text book on how to perform a project or series of projects based on various factors.

While best practices may contain details, the text books will sifted many details out. Thus street smarts are lost, requiring people to do internships to see best practices in action.

Its this cycle between building best practices, education texts, and back to best practices as technology improves, that makes these 2 sides of the same going, and part of a cycle of life. Thus Mindset and Process are also 2 sides of the same coin. The mindset should be a growth mindset that looks at a process and asks, "How can this be improved the next time we need to do this?" Whether that be to automate it, speed it up, make it simpler, reduce the number of variables involved, …

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7) How would you approach a client that is willing to make a deal but feels rushed? Do you press for the deal or do you let it move into the next quarter to save the relationship?

This is a sales question, and I normally am not customer facing. While I deal with small businesses and individuals, I don't deal with 100k projects, that require confirmations during specific quarter so that investment portfolios and press releases can reflect positively on the agreement.

With that said, early on, I would set expectations on a contract signing date for reporting purposes. This could look like, "If you're interested in this product, would you want to do a press release this quarter or next?" Or, I could ask, "How long do contract reviews normally take?" This puts the ball squarely in the customers court, while I wait for an answer. I don't have to provide any further information. I know how long our process takes, I know they want to do a press release, and I know that they have their process. There are probably other factors I'm blind to, since I haven't done 100k deals, but from my limited perspective, I am more concerned with being strung along and not being able to deliver.

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8) What is the last thing you taught yourself?

KiCAD .. while PSpice is required for the electric circuits courses I'm taking, as I use Linux, and PSpice is only available through a Windows PC session, I can't get to it. So, I took the time to watch equivalent KiCAD videos and read tutorials to see how to replicate the various projects.

I followed my best practices list for learning something new while doing this:

Play

Practice

Research

Publish

Collaborate

Master

Execute

What I have found is that most people fear trying something new, because of the cost of it failing. I remove that fear by being willing to play with an idea. Yes, the cost is there, but now it's a cost I'm willing to pay to play. Instead of making it a RIO requirement. And, yes, there is a budget limit on how much cost I'm willing to expend before making a decision on when I need to commit or move on.

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9) How do you know when your day is done? When I'm exhausted, and I can't stay awake anymore.

Due to ADHD, I usually toil at a project till I'm exhausted. If I don't take the time earlier then I won't take it later. One thing that can drag me away from a project is a pre-arranged commitment that happens regularly, like going to grappling class. Then, I will feel compelled to wrap up what I'm working on, go to class, and transition to another part of my day.

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10) What’s your favorite part of the sales funnel? Oh, these are for a job in sales. Ah!

As mentioned in question 8, I'm usually not in a customer facing role. With that said, I think my favorite part of the sales funnel is saying, "Hi!", now.

Saying "HI" was one of the biggest road blocks and barriers I had to overcome. I think this road block was overcome when I learned to curate positive events, not just for myself, but for others, as well. So, when I say, "HI" to someone else, I get an opportunity to generate positive events for them.

Now, am I trying to sell them something, no. Nor, am I trying to learn about their needs straight out of the gate. Instead, I'm using the 7 meeting technique to build a relationship with them. Within meeting someone 7 times, I can build a relationship to where I can talk to them about various topics, and let them tell me what their needs and struggles are. As well as let them naturally ask me what I do.

It's no longer a sales, but an exchange of business cards at a BMI meeting. Now that we know what each other does, and are willing to look out for opportunities for each other, the pool of potential opportunities has grown.

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11) What is some piece of expertise that you feel you’re missing?

I thought for the longest time I lacked the ability to do cold calls. As I discussed in question 10, I think I've overcome that problem. Though, I'm not sure if I could do that through an email list, let alone a telephone directory.

I feel more comfortable meeting people in person, or having them contact me for additional information. This is where I would work with marketing and PR to build a campaign that intrigues people into inquiring about the product or service I'm selling. This gets around the cold call and the major hurdle of saying "Hello".

However, there are also targeted chat groups that could be used like BMIs, again.

I'm always looking for ways to get around my RSD, which reacts very negatively to, "NO!".

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One question I think you missed, unless I misinterpreted it, was .. How would you incorporate new technologies and services into your role?

As new technologys are constantly introduced, those that can take advantage of it to disrupted the market effectively will normally see quick gains in market share and revenue.

Crossing the Chasm, is a good book on this topic. It identifies 6 groups:

Innovators

Early Adopters

Early Majority - Progressives

Late Majority - Conservatives

Laggards

Fundamentalists

These groups are based on how willing people are to adopt a new technology to take advantage of it's potential to gain market share and revenues from it. And, how willing they are to accept risk to reward ratios.

As for myself, I'm more conservative than progressive on technology. I will study it and review how others are using it, before committing to it. There are pitfalls I want to know about, and for AI, it's recording every question I ask. But the, so does a google search. Either, can lead to data leakage about potential sensitive projects in the pipeline.

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Another question that was missed, that I like to ask prospective employers is .. When will your company no longer be needed? ..

Take programming for example, if Google is able to, AI will do all the programming I used to do. Thus, any company that relied on contracts to outsource program projects will cease to exist. This is what I mean by no longer being needed. Another example is Word, PowerPoint, Access, Image Composer, Excel, Outlook, Exchange, Publisher, … Most of these products have become various bundles or subscription services now, even while shareware has replaced most of them.

While you may be selling a product, that product usually has a 5 year shelf life until other market forces arrive with competing projects, and eventually someone bundles the product into a larger product as part of their suite of products, make individual sales and subscriptions of that one product obsolete.

Have you fully looked and appreciated that timeline? Do you understand the product life cycle, and how products evolve? Do you know how to select and add additional features to your product suite to remain competitive and relevant?