#intracommunity feminism and doesn't she understand-- because for one she's probably transphobic (trust me i know the region) and for two | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thecommunityoftrustworthysinks · 2 days ago

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near the start of the essay ooooough this hits hard

(edit) a few more things i wanted to pull out:

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basically, supporting trans people means supporting trans men and that means you have to shift your paradigm to fit men into feminism. there's not an alternative

Is there a term for that phenomenon that happens when people tell transmen/transmascs not to go on testosterone/not to try to look more masculine because it'll make them ugly/fat/hairy/bald/whatever negative thing?

I know it's not transmisandry, but does it have a name or is it just general transphobia?

I mean surely that's not NOT transphobia? but I'm also not, like, in charge of how transmasculine people talk about stuff so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#im beginning to feel the sort of thing the author here is describing as ive passed my one year on T mark and i started it right after i #moved so most everyone here does NOT remember me much as a 'girl' though some do and im not cis passing at all #but yeah actually just like two days ago i was talking to a woman at a car shop and i was behaving as i always do and i felt like she was #really cold to me and i just assumed she was grumpy like thought nothing of it #until one of my friends who's mostly a girl and presents as one came in and the woman was so much kinder to her #and like idk this woman do what you like ofc #but it just startled me a little #because ive also seen flashes of that in public like women stepping away more than they used to #things that are hard to quantify even #and i think that's somethign that makes people doubt you #or they think you're criticizing women having feelings or defending themselves #im not #im saying that since most of my life and ALL of my growing up years were spent on that side of things it is saddening and isolating to find #yourself being on the other side of that (being the man who is perceived as the possible threat)#especially when 'the other side of that' is not actually any safer for you (i am not safe with cis men and i do not have the safeties that #privilege grants them)#and that's just one small thing but it extends much further #and i think so frequently the response to that is 'well you chose to be trans so cope. women will always be scared of men'#which is craaaazy reductionist reactionary and gender essentialist (also aren't we TRYING for a world where women aren't scared of men??)#like i don't think i need to tell the woman in the car shop that actually her marginal more kindness towards a girl than me is destroying #intracommunity feminism and doesn't she understand-- because for one she's probably transphobic (trust me i know the region) and for two #just way out of my line she's a complete stranger #WHAT I DO WANT when i tell these stories and what many others on this topic do as well #is for the response to not be 'fuck you cope' but to acknowledge that this is a real thing that a vulnerable group of people experience #and to try to build more community between people who feel alienated like this and those we feel alienated from #transmascs and transfems and cis women and nb people and gq people and any other marginalized gender expression are NOT ENEMIES #im saying man it sucks a little and it feels scary when you're used to a certain amount of societal support around you that you never even #noticed until now you're out and publicly living as transgender which is something already dangerous to be #and now you're feeling that support disappearing in front of your eyes and you didn't even know it was there until it was gone #like im perhaps describing it dramatically here for effect

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