#instead of people who've regularly & routinely mistreated me and severely hurt my mental health. and whom i wish i could cut out of my life
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#god i hate hate hate hate HATE having to go meet people about my whole financial/unemployment status#like yes i know it's not good right now and yes i know something has to be done sooner or later and yes i KNOW i probably need help/a push#but like. idk how to really express it they just… they always look at me in such a superficial way#like they never understand — or even seem to consider — that i am this way for a reason. i got a lot of issues and apprehensions and so on#and most of it roots back to ableism and trauma. but they never really seem to think there may be something beneath the surface#not to mention they keep assuming my family — and my parents in particular — are like cool chummy pals or whatever. or a helpful safety net#instead of people who've regularly & routinely mistreated me and severely hurt my mental health. and whom i wish i could cut out of my life#all that just makes it practically impossible to NOT be severely uncomfortable w/the workers — let alone trust them with my personal stuff#personal#negative#like if you read i guess
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