#infinite drywall hack

[queennicoleinboots]

Joebear and I Prank Call Peter

Peter is an obnoxious, curly-haired, green-eyed, glasses-wearing NUISANCE to society. He is also Mr. Super Drywall Man who hates his job more than life itself. He is too tall to exist, and I hate him more than life itself. He is a messy human being who must be stopped at all costs.

"I can't believe I have to deal with that curly-haired DOUCHEBAG!!!!!" I screamed as I was getting ready for work.

"Ugh. I know. He is the new Master Bright and Early. He never lets anyone but himself sleep. What an asshole. He reminds me of a Simpsons character," Joebear responded.

"Tell me about it. He is a walking disaster. He must be stopped!" I announced as I put my boots on.

"Agreed. I have ideas!" Joebear announced.

"What are they?" I asked.

"Prank calls and making an 8-bit video game about him as a drywall installer. The premise will be that he has to patch all the holes while collecting materials as he goes and avoiding random drywall tools being thrown at him. Some holes, he will have to redo because some of the drywall tools will go through the wall. There will be a cartoon bubble of him saying "I Hate my Job!" at the beginning and end of every level. The bosses of the levels will be his assistant Bob the Builder, toilets, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, his naked neighbor, his 1991 Ford Lincoln, his hairdresser, you, Ronald McDonald, and last but not least ME! The bosses will put holes in the drywall, and he will have to defeat the bosses AND patch the drywall," Joebear said as he was laughing.

I was cracking up so hard that I was in tears. "Those are brilliant ideas," I said. "Very sadistic. I love it."

"I'm going to use the Unreal Engine to program that game. And every time an object hits him, a comic bubble pops up with him swearing," Joebear said with a laugh.

"That's brilliant. That game will destroy him for sure," I said with a laugh.

"And he would have infinite lives just to torment him. He would die over and over until he defeats me," Joebear said.

"Perfect. He would say things like "Kill me!" if his life lasted for a whole level or more," I said with a laugh.

"Haha. I have to program this game. It will be awesome," Joebear said. "As for the prank phone call, you should call him and say, 'This is not a recording. If you'd like to talk to someone other than me, press 1.'"

"I love that prank!" I exclaimed. "I must partake!"

Before it was time for me to work for those dramatic Parkers, I called that obnoxious Peter W. Parker and put his ass on speaker.

"Hello?" Peter said as he sounded annoyed.

"This is not a recording. If you'd like to talk to someone other than me, press 1," I said with a giggle. Joebear snickered.

I heard a button being mashed over and over again. I laughed.

"Fuck yeah I want to talk to someone else. Fuck you, you fucking bitch," Peter said as he mashed the "1" key over and over again.

"Thank you," I said.

The phone clicked off, and Joebear's phone started to ring.

Joebear suppressed explosive laughter before answering, "This is Chip and Bear's Computer Service. How may I help you?" He put the phone on speaker.

"How may I help you?! Mother Fucker, you called me!" Peter screamed on the other end of the line.

Joebear was giggling silently before he said, "Actually, someone else called you. You pressed 1 to talk to me."

"Jesus Christ. Well, I'd rather talk to ANYONE besides any person that sounds like Xara. She gives me nightmares," Peter said.

I laughed my ass off.

Joebear spoke again. "I can understand your frustration. She's fucked up."

"Yeah she is. What the fuck did she call me for?" Peter asked.

Joebear and I were snickering. "I have no idea, dude. All I know is that a call came into my line from your number, so I answered," Joebear said.

"Well, my computer is in Ken-fucking-tucky right now. They're the closest Chinese headquarters in America. My computer was hacked, and its language is now Chinese," Peter said.

"That's some fuck luck right there," Joebear said.

"Can you help me?" Peter asked.

"Hell no. Anything that is Chinese stays the fuck out of my shop," Joebear said.

"Fuck me. Well, I am getting off of here. My father is yelling for me... again," Peter said.

"Good luck. Thank you for calling Chip and Bear's Computer Service. Have a wonderful rest of your day," Joebear said.

"Hahahahahaha!!!!" Peter laughed with a long snort. "Fuck you." He hung up.

Joebear and I were rolling on the floor and laughing our asses off. I was crying from laughter. We couldn't speak or breathe.

"I'm going to design that video game now. Fuck him," Joebear said as he laughed.

"I'm going to destroy his life now," I said.

My phone rang. It was Peter Parker. I was laughing and answered my phone with a laugh. "Hello?" I said as I was laughing hysterically.

"FUCK YOU!!!!!" Peter screamed and then hung up the phone.

Joebear and I laughed again as we went about our day. Peter was going to get trolled hard today.