#inacage

[bird-inacage]

I lost it when Joong said, Khao's legs are too short to straddle (during discussion of sex scenes 🥴). Thanks Joong!

ERM?!! (Also, hello Anon!)

But more importantly - [COUGHS] - okay, see, I haven't seen a translated version of this conversation, so your comment had me rolling. Please do share if it is floating around somewhere.

I mean... he's not wrong 😏

Teeny Khao having to perch in First's lap like the little kitten he is. Honestly, these four are so unserious when they're together as a quartet, I love it. And Joong is doing the lord's work by blathering about FK any chance he gets. What a champ.

---birdie

[thatgirl4815]

Character You Are Currently Obsessed With

I’m really bored today and thought it might be fun to tag some moots and hopefully start some reblog chains. Feel free to elaborate on why you are obsessed with the character or just list them/picture them w/out context.

I’ll start:

Gonna tag a bunch of people but please add additional tags with your own if you so desire…and no pressure at all! @aprilblossomgirl, @nihilisticcondensedmilk , @k-white, @firstyok, @firstkanaphans, @abstractelysium, @gallavichsuperlover, @fuckingcrescendos, @vegasandhishedgehog , @itsmelb, @khaofirsts, @thewayuarent, @ranchthoughts, @insignificantbrandybottle, @waitmyturtles, @autisticbokutoenthusiast, @sandrayy, @fanfictionroxs, @lurkingshan, @invisiblegarters, @sunnenfinster, @frostluvrs, @bird-inacage, @dreamedofyou, @thegalwhorants

[babyangelsky]

Peat's acting is stupendous and it's hurting my feelings

I need to talk about the bedroom scene and the fight that preceded it because it felt like I was having a mirror held up to me and looking at my younger self and in doing, so I've come to love Tongrak as a character even more than I did before.

I talked about the expressions already but I just cannot get past this one. Rak's eyes are so dead and he looks so tired in a way that I understand so deeply. He knows what's about to happen. He screened Prin's call earlier precisely in hopes of avoiding it but she showed up anyway.

I do have to acknowledge that a lot of my interpretation and feelings about him and these scenes are very much a product of my own experiences, but believe me when I tell you that having a family as fucked as his and having to deal with relatives like this drains you. You fight back because you have to, not because you want to. You don't go seeking the bullshit but somehow it always seems to arrive at your door.

I know exactly how he must be feeling because I've felt it. Because I've fought back and made sure my mask was firmly in place for as long as I needed it to only to break the second I could turn my face away.

I'm impressed that Rak didn't run from Mut and that he didn't start crying on the way to his bedroom. That powerwalk he did instead though? I know it all too well.

To Rak's mind, Mut has already witnessed far more than Rak ever intended for him to. That fight was nasty. It poked at so many wounds, touched on so many painful, intimate things about Rak's family and about him. Prin wanted to hurt and humiliate him and she succeeded.

I can confidently say that if someone I cared about witnessed that happening to me, the last thing I would want is to break down in front of them on top of it, so I completely understand why Rak's first instinct was to put distance between him and Mut. You know the breakdown is coming and the only thing you want is to have it in private.

I know people feel some kind of way about Rak's refusal to let Mut into his bedroom and essentially shutting him out but Mook tells us in episode 4 that no one is allowed in Rak's bedroom. This isn't just about Mut. Everything we have learned and seen of Rak so far tells us that he's a person who needs a safe place to hide. A place where he can close the door and know he won't be intruded upon.

Sure, it's his house and ideally he would have the freedom to break down wherever he wants to inside of it but given that Mook comes and goes pretty freely, he doesn't really have that luxury by his standards. There's always a chance she'll walk in. And he certainly doesn't have it now that he's no longer living alone.

So he goes to hide in his bedroom so he can process and feel what he needs to.

And when Mut comes after him, this happens. Mut pushed at that boundary out of genuine care and concern and he's not wrong for that. I've been on his side of this equation too and the impulse to help in whatever way you can is impossible to resist, even if all you can offer is a meal.

But I also understand Rak. God do I understand him. That need to be alone, demanding to be left in peace, lashing out when someone won't despite it being with good intentions. When you've been pushed to your limit and you know a breakdown is coming and that there will be shrapnel when it does, the very last thing you want is for the people you care about to get hit with it.

Like @bird-inacage said in their post, Tongrak is a caged animal at this point. He's feeling vulnerable and defensive and he lashes out. He doesn't want to, he tries to stop it, but it ends up happening anyway.

And he regrets it. He does. The way I see it, he couldn't bring himself to knock on Mut's door both because he'd exhausted all his nerve in the fight with Prin and because a part of him was probably worried that he'd be rejected if he did. When you lash out, especially when you don't mean to, there's always a worry that you've done irreparable damage to your relationship with whoever was on the receiving end and that you won't ever be forgiven.

Sometimes it really is something as simple as a sticky note that brings you to tears and has you sobbing into your dinner in the middle of the night.

The note and the meal are proof that Tongrak hasn't been rejected, that he's still cared for despite the way he reacted after the fight and the things that he said. We know that Mut wasn't going to reject him but Rak needed to know that as well.

And now that they had their moment in the dressing room and the issue of the money has been talked about, we're paving a way forward for Rak to be able to express what he feels without using it as a defense mechanism. He still will, and he will hurt me many more times before we're done, but we're making progress.

[scrumptiousstuffs]

As much as I love talking about how pretty First is (he's so pretty! And as far as anyone knows a total sweetheart which is even better), can we talk about how ridiculously talented he is? He just becomes his characters like sliding on a second skin, it's insane. And the microexpressions and subtle changes in his eyes...I feel like it's such an underappreciated form of acting but he does it so well I never want to stop watching him. And he just keeps getting better and better. I can't wait to see what he does with Kant. Everyone keeps saying that these characters are different from what they've done before so im so curious. And also I'm just ready to have a flirty First character on my screen again.

Well, anon - where do you want to start? I’m going to say upfront, I’m not the most eloquent writer in writing meta or analysing any actors acting capability or their characters on screen.

There are other blogs who write all these beautiful meta re: The Eclipse and Only Friends. @bird-inacage wrote many thoughtful analysis of them. Please feel free to read them. Other links: Link 1. But also, just search for “The Eclipse meta” or “Only Friends meta” and so many good commentary from various blogs will pop up. You may agree or disagree with them but I personally find it fun to read through what other people think of the series and the characters in general.

Anyway, back to your topic of the greatness of First Kanaphan as an actor. I agree with all your statements regarding his acting capabilities.

I am entranced whenever First is on screen - whether he played a suppressed queer teenager in high school or the broken, lonely banker to the gruff bar singer with the heart of gold.

His eyes are expressive and the control he has over his facial muscles…exquisite 👌. The way he shifts from one expression to another with us (the viewers) being able to tell them without that much of a change? - it’s definitely a wow everytime I see it. I mentioned previously in a different ask I find First fluid in his acting.

People will argue his character in Not Me (Yok) is the best out of his current projects. I will argue otherwise.

Yes, Yok allowed First to showcase his poweress in acting. First as Yok was able to show massive range from being loud, stubbornly opinionated, flirty (or slutty in First’s own words) etc. before we see him ultimately breakdown when he got betrayed. Definitely A-class acting 👍.

However as Akk, then Alan followed by Sand - these characters are more reserved at baseline and not as “colourful” of a character as Yok. And to some extent, these roles are more challenging (for any actors) to showcase “range” as they need to be able to internally express it without big emotive or gesture.

But the way First embodied them - with just a slight twitch of his jaw, tightness around his lips or when he allowed his eyes to darken with anger or lust (depending on the situation) - we as the viewers can always tell what the character is feeling, and that’s what make him an amazing actor to watch on screen.

And since this is my blog and I can do whatever I want, I’m putting up examples from each series post Not Me:

1) The Eclipse

When Akk first met Ayan in the teacher’s bathroom and saw Ayan’s tattoo - we (and Akk) all got distracted by Ayan’s sexy tattoo. But the quick flick of Akk’s eyes 👀 to that tattoo followed by the slight widening of his eyes and then shifting to hardening his glare while at the same time quick gulp of his throat? - all of that occurred within seconds….and I remember watching this scene thinking oh, Akk definitely has some unwanted thoughts on the new kid

Or when they were wrestling on the judo mat, and Akk pinned Ayan down - teasingly asked the latter to try and free himself. He was smiling down at Ayan but the minute Ayan slide those arms around his neck, the way his smile faded and you can see gay panic in those eyes….

They are of course so many more examples including Akk mini-conversation with his mom at night when he hesitantly tried to explain the pressure he was under at school but ultimately chickened out cause he didn’t want to burden him mom (and you could see this written all over his face).

2) Moonlight Chicken

There was a previous ask, where that anon said he found Alan the most pathetic character out of all of First’s projects. And I will again reiterate here, with the limited amount of screen time he had, First sparkled whenever he came on screen.

The way you can tell his frustration over his destroyed relationship while trying to cling on it cause he just doesn’t know what he did wrong for Wen was painful for us viewers to watch. And I don’t know about you, my heart breaks for him when he broke down after Wen finally screamed at him that he only slept with Alan cause he felt sorry for him - you can again see the flick/shift from anger in Alan’s face to shock disbelief and humiliation when Wen said that to him. You could see the self-loathing in his face after Wen left the living room. And as he silently cried on the floor of their apartment, I cried with him.

Or when Alan finally had his talk with Wen at the bbq restaurant, you could read the quiet resignation in Alan’s face as Wen finally break it off for good by sliding his promise ring back to him.

3. Only Friends

Even from the first episode, when he brought Ray back to his apartment - after Ray puked his guts out and as Ray snuggled on Sand’s shoulder - you could read the half amusement, half exasperation on his face while they both just sat on that bathroom floor.

Or when Ray finally got his chance with Mew, and Sand saw them dancing in the club. We see the wistful, sad boba eyes of his. And when Ray confronted him outside the bar, that cracked in his voice as he told Ray “you and I were never friends.” - yeah, my heart again breaks for him.

Or how about the angry-lust driven kiss in that music room (before Top interrupted them). You could see the mixture of anger, almost despair in Sand eyes, the tightness in his jaw and you could see the tremble in his lips. But even with all that, us as viewers clocked on how much he loves Ray (Ray knows that too…hence why he pounced and kiss Sand)

Plus when Sand confronted Top at the hospital - the narrowed eyes, the low, even tone of his voice where you know he is just barely holding on to his temper

I can go on and on…but I’ll stop here.

Anyway, like you, I’m looking forward to seeing more of him as Kant - I have no doubt we will see him nail it as a flirt (or as First keeps insisting, sugar daddy?). However, I’m also looking forward to see his interactions with Babe, Style and Fadel cause I’m sure we will be blessed with more masterclass in microexpression!

[yinwaryuri]

I didn't want to derail this post by @bird-inacage because it was so focused on SandRay and how going into episode 5 would treat them, but reading it struck me with an important realization.

Of our main couples, how much do they really enjoy each other's company?

Starting with Top and Mew, their dynamic is really interesting, because they are desperately trying to enjoy their time together. And there are moments where it's literally visible! They are having a good time! But it quickly gets ruined by the residuals of Top's bad habits and/or Mew's insistence to keep control of a relationship he took as a personal challenge. While Top is enjoying playing at domesticity, he has to either be continuously blue-balled or lie to get it, so any time he spends with Mew is dampened by the fact that he can't be himself (not that he's a great person but it bears to be acknowledged). Mew is so hopelessly trying to convince himself that he's not out of his depth that it's taking all his energy just to prove it, and he is likely mistaking any exhaustion from it as just being new to things. They don't actually enjoy each other's company, though.

Boston and Nick? Golden if they're having sex. The minute they're done, their minds are immediately on the continuous conflict between them: how do they want to keep their status. I think part of what contributes to Nick wanting something more committed is that he has a bit more stability both externally and internally (surprising, I know). He has his tech job, he has at least one friendship that's genuinely supportive (Sand), and he owns being a nasty bitch. Besides his cuckoo-for-cock thing with Boston, he has interests, skills, and a life outside of him and possibly views Boston as another one of those stable facets he always wants to be able to turn to.

But Boston isn't on the same page. When he isn't manwhore-manipulate-manslaughter being a student, Boston kind of doesn't have anything else going for him except his photography hobby which isn't being put to good use. He likely is part of the friend group because at least they're a queer friend group in the same field of study, and everyone else might as well be in and out of a revolving door. Nick is an anomaly for him, but he wouldn't know what to do with something stable let alone be valued for anything outside of sex so Boston dangles boyfriend status like a carrot.

So do they enjoy each other's company? Yes and no. And no and yes. They have a lot of things to work out between each other and unfortunately for both of them things will blow up and cause catastrophic damage. But they couldn't be made for anyone else, IMHO.

Finally we have Sand and Ray. Their relationship has a couple rocky moments in the beginning, but all things considered, it's literally founded on the fact that they like spending time together. Ray says it to Sand multiple times: "You're fun to talk to." He begs him to spend time with him, he offers payment for god's sake. And Sand obliges because he can't help himself. He also likes hanging out with Ray. They have found things outside of any romantic or sexual context that they both enjoy that become the foundation of all their future activities together: a good drink and good music. And the more time they spend together the stronger that will become, even as the strained relationships they have with everyone else threatens to fuck it up.

[rocketturtle4]

Don't mind me I'm just collecting evidence for Ray's complete lack of self-esteem self-anything

(I'm shadowbanned which means that fact that I'm tagging everyone is USELESS (although I may have someone to help me out) but maybe it won't be useless later. Also I also cannot reply to comments, and you will not see in your notes if I reblog your post...fun times) @waitmyturtles should thee wish)

Finally pushed over by this post (@burnsuncomet @dewtu @plantsarepeopletoo) because @thegalwhorants that's right, it is VERY SAD

Because is this scene funny and ironic? Yes!

Do I think people (me, I'm people) are going to swing around in 1-11 weeks time pull out screenshot one and comment not on the irony of this shirt but it's poignancy? ALSO YES. (Screenshots stolen out of this post @chickenstrangers)

So I'm starting my evidence collection now...

Poor Boy Gifs (a selection) (in no particular order)

His t-shirt and reactions @khaotunq

Drunk boy this gifset by @gunsatthaphan

More Drunk Boy this gifset @heretherebedork

This gifset @gunsatthaphan

Also this scene again because it's so awful it deserves to be included twice:

this gifset by @userneos

speaks for itself:

this set by @sunsetandthemoon (whose ENTIRE set here is just good evidence, but I promised myself I'd only steal one gif per post)

Ray's face when he sees Top and Mew dancing

gifset here by @plantsarepeopletoo (multiple parts of this gifset have flashing lights)

this gifset by @nick-nellson

Look how happy he is surrounded by his friends!!!

Oh and I'm sad again...

I gave in and grabbed 2 from this one @raypakorn

Since I already broke my rule I'm grabbing another one from @sunsetandthemoon:

This is clearly just the (shit)icing on the (shit)cake of his (shit)life.

Finally thanks to @plantsarepeopletoo

His pure excitement at the idea of doing this project with his friends help...

verses everyone else...

Other Posts:

You're a burden screenshots (by @heretherebedork)

Information about Ray's subtitle/label "the one who [abandoned/discarded/threw away/cast out] himself" @lurkingteapot

Interesting thoughts on Sand and Ray by @bird-inacage - Ray's Fear of Inadequacy

Someone else who is sad with excellent screenshots @poetry-protest-pornography

I feel like this line might come back to haunt us lol @sparklyeyedhimbo

Trajectory of relationships and sex by @thatgirl4815

also by @thatgirl4815: Ray and apologising

Body language notes @captain-xandis

More random thoughts worth noting (Sand & Ray) @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Tweets

this post by @thatgirl4815

(directly referencing the scene where Ray wakes up and doesn't seem to mind the fact that he thinks he got roofied and kidnapped for sex)

Plus:

originally posted here by @elliebirdwrites

Thoughts

(I'm not really taking it THIS seriously, just apreciating all my feels...also I don't think I've ?EVER actually watched a show from week 1...I normally have 2-3 episodes to obsess over by the time I start. This one ep business is not taking up enough time)

How much of Ray's identity revolves around making his friends (Mew) happy?

How much is he going to break when the ?rich? hotel owner moves into the only space he feels like he has value in?

(and how much is his breaking going to break our best boy Sand?)

Let's see how much Ray(and Sand) can singlehandedly make me cry for the next 11 weeks...It is afterall, a FirstKhao specialty.

(now do I make a similar collection about Sand...or wait till next week hmmmmm....)

I'm going along with the masses and loving the poor boy and his rich (poor) boy.

[fadelbison]

isnt ray your favorite? all im saying is trying to justify why you don't care about a character you were never going to care about anyway is dumb. its not like you are alone in it.

ray isn't even my favorite khaotung character what are you on. i am not justifying anything. It was a criticism of Kant's writing. I didn't cast First for this character lmao and neither did anyone else just recognizing that kant just gets to do bad things but we as the audience can't judge him for it.

there's a really nice analysis that frames it within the concept of agency and how Bison and Kant share the need for more agency by bird-inacage and kattyangel also added more commentary to my point in favor of Kant's character. Both of which are on my blog.

anon i sincerely hope you are able to watch stories and take characters for who they are instead of going into it with a ranking of your favorite actors. do you also think bison is my favorite THK character because Kt is my GMM bias? how do you live like this.

[alaanz]

This whole trailer is absolutely buck wild. And while I am most definitely excited to see all the new shit they do.

This dancing scene is by far the thing I am most excited for. I am a SLUT for musicals and dance numbers. Maybe it’s the asexual in me, but get some pretty guys to dance and I am gone for your show.

The best thing a guy could do is dance.

I don’t know how to add the link for the gif, but all credits for allowing us to see this beautiful scene goes to:

[dream-thief-forever-amen]

Review: Love in the Air - A Masterclass in Kissing

long and media heavy review on Love in the Air... got a bunch of tumblr fandom in there...

https://subtitledreams.com/2022/12/26/review-love-in-the-air/

I tagged everyone I saw, there’s probably a few I missed

@kdrama-mama @shippingcontacts, @prapais, @liyazaki, @scarefox, @bird-inacage, @perths, @endlessly-ranting-antheia, @piningintrovert, @guzhu-furen, @gunsatthaphan, @paisky, @viva-yas-vegas @yeetlegay, @alpha-peen, @akindofemotionaltether, @wahgifs, @dramaism, @pharawee, @djeterg19, @prometheuswelsh @alwayspining, @kwonzoshi , @hecalledhimhyung, @dramabiscuit, @intothealone, @7-starboi, @baijingting, @dreamingsnowflake2013, @cornyonmains, @laurenkmyers, @thefreeblog, @purplenimsicle, @themagnusbane, @theyellowhue, @zhaozi, @hoshinisuzu, @maibpenrai, @iwatchalotofshows, @fortpeat

[lemonfreshlysqueezed]

I’m a bit of an Ray apologist but Ray inviting Boeing over knowing it is making Sand uncomfortable?!

I’m sorry, what?!!!

Ray has a good reason to still feel some type off way about Boeing, wether its good or bad. This man left him for someone else (that shit effects you).

Why would you invite an ex of your partner over knowing that they hurt them? And they are clearly visibly uncomfortable with the situation!

Gif by @bird-inacage

[live-from-flaturn]

send help

Newsies (1992) "Santa Fe", performed by Christian Bale

Call Me By Fire (2023), Jeff Satur & Co.

(thank you to @bird-inacage for making the original Jeff gif)

[bird-inacage]

You’ve said all what I’ve been thinking about Love Sea. I wanted to enjoy this but it hasn’t been hitting for me the same as LITA. I think the show took a nosedive when they left the island. It’ll probably be a rushed ending that they won’t stick the landing but atleast FortPeat have scorching chemistry as always. With a better director/writer they could be even more of a force. I would love to see what they could do with a BOC production. It’s really too bad MMY sticks them in the basement for the most part.

Hello there Anon,

It's certainly reassuring to hear I'm not the only one who has not fully taken to Love Sea as a story.

Fortpeat have great potential as actors. With unmistakable chemistry and a decent range, their talents can definitely be better harnessed. Though I can see there were some interesting ideas at play here - the plot itself has struggled to stand up in support of what they can do. And yes, I completely side-eye the writing as the root cause for the flimsier elements and character trajectories (or lack thereof) in this show. Whilst Fortpeat are doing their best to elevate and add value, there's only so much they can do within the confines of the plot/dialogue given to them, and under the direction of MAME and MeMindY.

I wouldn't say Love Sea is terrible by any stretch. But what is good is largely credit to Fortpeat themselves, which means they'd probably be great in whatever show you put them in. It's not the show itself that's doing an awful amount to bring this to fruition. Which is why I'd advocate for them to be directed/coached by a new team, and how that could be a very positive step in their development as actors.

I'm already noticing a few habits or tendencies they each have that could be moulded with better direction and mentorship.

As mentioned, I will withhold my final conclusion on this series until it's finished airing. But considering we're edging close to the finale, it's unlikely we're suddenly going to see a drastic change in what we've observed thus far.

We'll find out soon enough!

---birdie

[thatgirl4815]

One thing that strikes me about Ray/Sand vs Ray/Mew is that for the life of me I just can't picture the Ray who jumps on Sand and sticks his smelly pits in his face, the Ray who is cheeky and playful and a bit goofy, doing those things or acting that way with Mew. And I don't even mean within the context of any romantic relationship - I find it really hard to imagine their friendship having any such similar moments, where they're just two boys being a bit daft. With Sand Ray can be flirty, sensual, fierce, but he can also be silly, petulant, carefree (whilst sober). I just can't see him exhibiting that duality in his relationship with Mew. In their scenes previous to The Dance of Doom, he's usually been quite serious, heavy, earnest - weighed down, whether by Mew's expectations or his own feelings I don't know (likely both). He just seems so much lighter when he's with Sand (and they're apart from everyone else). I'm not saying it's Mew's fault - maybe it's a result of the pedestal he occupies in Ray's mind, but I just thought it was interesting. Ray often seems like an entirely different person when he's with Sand. And I think that's why those of us rooting for a (healthy) endgame are so invested, because in those interactions we see the person Ray COULD be, and it's pretty clear it's Sand that brings out that potential. Again, not saying he doesn't also require a shitload of soul-searching and professional help, but how could you NOT want him to reach that potential? And I'm almost certain the showrunners would agree. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the only way to get there is a Sand/Ray happy ending or that Sand owes it to Ray to put up with his bullshit in the meantime, but I think Sand wants that for Ray too and I don't think that makes him pathetic. I think Sand is pretty good at spotting when Ray's behaviour is that of someone in crisis vs being a brat/careless. It's probably why he requires an apology for Ray dropping him at the end of ep 3 but not for the insults at the end of ep 6 (well that and the whole near death experience!). No, Sand is under no obligation to keep loving/caring for Ray at his worst, but if he CHOOSES to do so because he's seen him at his best and because he knows the pain that lies beneath it all, well then actually that's something quite remarkable. Not romantic, mind you - remarkable. I'm not romanticising anything. But to me that shows a strength of character and a depth of compassion that's worthy of respect.

Great observations! I also can't really see a teasing, light-hearted RayMew relationship (at least, not when they're both sober), mostly because we haven't seen that dynamic much at all between them as friends. The thing that makes friends-to-lovers plots so successful is the chemistry between friends conjoined with romantic chemistry. And I don't get much of either of those between them (possibly because the vast majority of scenes between Ray and Mew only are about Ray's alcohol/drug problems).

A lot of this goes back to what you said about Ray putting Mew on a pedestal. It's always felt like Mew is in a superior position while Ray is only pining after him. With Ray and Sand, we see Sand acknowledge the dangers of Ray's behavior, but it never comes across as domineering or self-righteous (reminds me of @bird-inacage's analysis here about how Sand and Mew react differently to Ray's addictions).

I definitely think Ray is a better version of himself with Sand. He's noticeably less drunk around him, he opens up about his past, he apologizes and speaks relatively openly about his feelings, he makes an effort to invest in Sand's interests...the list goes on. Those are all signs of a healthy relationship built on mutual interests. For Ray and Mew, I think it's fair to say there are other motivations beyond romantic feelings.

I also admire Sand's depth of compassion. As you said, he is under no obligation to keep coming back to Ray and caring for him the way he does, but the fact that he is doing that despite knowing that he deserves better says a lot about his values. When he cares for someone, he cares for them deeply, despite the pain they might inflict upon him. For someone like Sand who seems so headstrong in other areas of his life, there's something endearing about how soft he is for Ray.

[fortpeat]

End of the year recap

2022 was a year where many things happened in both good and bad. Embracing and accepting both is part of moving on. I am grateful for all the experiences that made me who I am today. There was a long period of time where things didn't happen the way I wanted to but that's okay. I know this coming 2023 will be a year of major changes so I am going to be taking 2022 as a year of me preparing myself for 2023.

I have lost friends but at the same time I have gained some beautiful people in my life. I became a better person because of the experiences that I went through. There were some scary moments and some heart warming moments as well. I cried my heart out because I wanted to. I chose myself above all else and made my mental health a priority. I am still learning who I am as an individual. I have also learned that sometimes the people I thought who they were are not who they actually are and that sometimes I have to fight my battles all alone. I have learned that it's okay to let go of the person that you once loved because they are not the person who you thought they were. I have realized that sometimes people change and that change is good but when it comes in between everything you believe in and everything you stand for then maybe it's best to let them go. Moreover I have learned that if I don't prioritize myself then nobody else will.

Things I am grateful for:

Having found a community that makes me feel the most welcome. Finding good friends who make me feel seen and heard. Finding joy in Fortpeat/Prapaisky when life was getting tough. Grateful for my family by my side. Grateful for all the things that I have been given.

Mentioning these beautiful souls who made me feel so welcome and accepted within this community.

@moonchildridden @bird-inacage @prapaiwife @prapaiskymissinghours @nooowestayandgetcaught @akitbeast @mbjw @akitbeast @halliescomut @gravenewt @yilinggusu

_______________________________________________________

Wishing you all a Happy New Year and May all your wishes and hopes for 2023 come true. Wishing all your hard work, be acknowledged and appreciated as you deserve everything and more. Be kind to everyone around you and above all Be kind to yourself. Wishing us all a Glorious year. 🫂💓

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[blackgirllovesdramas]

↳ you’re starring in a movie with the last person saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. who/what is it?

Tagged by: @saturnskyline

Keeho from P1Harmony

The song is Melody Lane from the live action series, Given.

Look! I’m going to see P1Harmony tonight and Keeho is my bias!!!! I don’t blog enough about him!!! Also Given is one of my fav BLs and has an awesome soundtrack which I listen to more than I care to say! 😂 this was fun! Tagging some of my ppl to play!

@bengiyo @onlyifyoubadd @oreothechubbycat @a-slut-for-vegaspete @davincsoo @negrowhat @rythyme @introvertedkeni @la-fourmi @vegussy @bird-inacage

[ieroween1031]

I was tagged by the besties @skateyoulater, @letsabandonthisworld and @first-kanaphan.

❥ name: Sawyer

❥ sign: Gemini

❥ height: 5'8" on a good day (that's almost 173 cm for everyone else in the fucking world. Stupid Americans and their attachment to the imperial system)

❥ time: 6:22 am

❥ birthday: June 11th

❥ fav band/artist: Of all time, hands down, I might obsess over other bands but this one has my entire heart and will until the day I die? My Chemical Romance. But rounding out the favorites are Ice Nine Kills, Motionless in White, 5 Seconds of Summer and All Time Low. Once an emo, always an emo.

❥ last movie: Realistically, probably A Christmas Story, but that was a contractual obligation due to the holiday, so if it doesn't count, it's more than likely either Empire Records or IT (the original).

❥ last show: Literally paused My Only 12% to post this before I forgot again. 😂

❥ when I created this blog: Pretty sure it was 2011, may have been as late as 2012.

❥ what I post: Literally everything, mostly whatever I'm currently hyperfixated on. I joke that you can tell what band/movie/series/celebrity I'm currently obsessing over because that's what my last 358 posts are about.

❥ other blogs?: I used to have one for venting about my issues with SH and ED, but apparently I vented too hard, and it got deleted by the tumblr overlords. 😂 I haven't made a new one, and I don't think I will.

❥ do I get asks?: Literally almost never. But I love them, so... *hint hint, nudge nudge*

❥ followers: 227. That seems like a lot to me. Am I reading something wrong?

❥ average hours of sleep: I have a really fucked up work shift, so I average around four hours a day. I can function just fine on three (though I won't be happy about it), but if I have the opportunity (i.e., a day off and am left undisturbed by my family), I can easily sleep for 12-1 6 hours at a time. I either barely sleep at all, or I hibernate.

❥ instruments: I maybe, kind of, a little if you squint your eyes play bass; I was never serious about it, I just like learning the rhythms to my favorite songs.

❥ what I'm wearing: Black gym shorts (my pajamas) and a Motionless in White shirt.

❥ dream trip: Ireland. I also would love to see New Orleans and Thailand.

❥ fav songs right now: Oh, you shouldn't have asked me this question. 😂

Bloodhound, 5 Seconds of Summer (Because obviously)

I'm Good, David Guetta and Bebe Rexha

King For A Day, Pierce the Veil ft. Kellin Quinn

Miracle, A Day to Remember

Mommae, Jay Park

Sleepwalking, All Time Low

Slaughterhouse, Motionless in White

Farewell II Flesh and Take Your Pick, Ice Nine Kills

Free Fall, Slot Machine

Fox on the Run, Sweet

I know that everyone in the group chat has probably been tagged a million times, but let's do it again, anyway.

@neppu, @jimins-crooked-tooth, @alt-drama, @hello-n-goodbye, @sunflower-lychee, @chimerasinourskyline

And some of my other favs, because why not? The worst that could happen is they... don't do it. 😂

@prapaiwife, @prapaixsky, @bird-inacage, @fortpeat, @theyellowhue, @la-fourmi, @kinnbig, @team-win, @vegasandhishedgehog and @pinkkop