#in the drive & shattered. she only twigged when she'd driven over the shards :')

[saintkevorkian]

one week after stabbing myself in the finger whilst recycling a large number of glass bottles (see new ‘blood’ tag) i’d managed to leave my flat keys on the roof of my car & not notice till i’d returned from the entire day

feeling rather as though they might be anywhere but suspecting a treacherous memory i retraced my course & found them on the motorway. filled with adrenaline, i pulled over & put my hazards on & watched some bloke who’d given an unsympathetic honk drive right over them lol, then fetched them when the traffic cleared a bit (i was praying very hard this entire time)

the keys are only slightly bent & still work but they’re never coming off this poor flattened key ring which was significantly rusty before the incident

my best friend has a strong imagination and, immediately understanding the practical difficulty, he asked how i was able to spot the keys at all and i said it was mostly luck but in accordance with rules of inertia i’d been looking for turns and accelerations nearer where i live

in an impressed tone he told me i’m the clumsiest person he knows & paradoxically the most capable