#in my heart of hearts Kid is also meant to be Ambiguously Trans but I think that's kind of a cop-out

[bobthedragon]

What pronouns do Elliot and Kid use/prefer?

long answer and short answer here! As is the nature of the question.

short answer is He/Him for both, and you can see pronouns for them and all the side characters here, on the site! - https://kingsgatecomic.com/characters

longer answer under the cut with 1 reference towards genitalia and a bit of reference towards fantasy-based childhood trauma!

basically, both Elliot and Kid identify as Gay Men in their own ways, but also both of them feel like they haven't actually had the opportunity to explore other options due to their own circumstances.

quick disclaimer that this is my own introspection on fictional men in my head, and they are Not meant to be Good Representation, they are just little fuckups I draw.

Elliot's is a bit simpler:

between growing up in a conservative family (+ ending up homeless shortly after), he's had to find his niche Fast. Now that he's running a city along with everything else, he doesn't feel like he can really afford to fuss around with the nuances of gender as much as he would have liked, but he Does know what he likes, and by in large he is happy to just be a Gay Man and not introspect further onto his microlabels.

Elliot would probably be flattered to be called 'she' but would politely correct it.

Kid, though, is a bit weirder (esp since we don't know much about him in the comic yet)

Kid identifies as a Homosexual Man, a Tool, a Weapon, Nothing, and possibly also Everything. He uses He/Him, but in his heart, he'd love to try They/It, but the deep revulsion he has against being called either makes that impossible.

Because he's dedicated his life towards depersonalizing himself and becoming an unknown cog in his own activism, the idea of this degree of self reflection is also Extremely Unpleasant for him, so he tries to avoid any further labels.

[islandofsages]

HELLO HERE'S THE RAMBLE-Y ASK

to start, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR YOIMIYA!!! you may have lost the 50/50 but she still came home in the end!! i am unfortunately skipping her bc i got her when she had her first banner but if she has a rerun next year and i'm not planning on pulling anyone around her then i'm 100% going for cons

ALSO ABOUT THE SLIP UPS, I ABSOLUTELY AGREE!! i don't know if it's just me but man, i read through what i write like 50 times before sending an ask or posting something even if it's just one sentence — I GUESS IT'S JUST ANXIETY BUT I FEEL LIKE THERE'S NO WAY PEOPLE JUST TYPE SOMETHING OUT AND THEN POST IT?? there's gotta be at least a once-over, right?? it's important to catch mistakes especially when it comes to pronoun slip-ups :( i really wish there was more inclusion in the fanfic community, not even just when it comes to gender, but sexualities, skin colors, different body types, even disabilities, etc!!

if i came across a fanfic about a chubby, aroace, nonbinary reader who gets support for their identity, mental disorders & disabilities, and comfort for their insecurities? i would actually ascend to the clouds. i would read that fic so many times until i'm able to recite it word for word. THIS IS THE KINDA STUFF I WISH I CAME ACROSS MORE. omg and neopronouns. i use a set of neopronouns do you know how cool it'd be to me to read a fanfic with a reader who uses cub/cubs pronouns AAAJSJDKSKS

i know fanfics are usually made to be super ambiguous so most people can insert themselves but if there can be specified genders that only people who identify as that gender can read then i feel like people could expand into other things as well. maybe they wouldn't get a ton of likes but even the smallest chance that it'd make someone's entire day should be enough to post it yk??

i actually have my own writing blog that i haven't really posted on much, but what i have posted has been romantic x readers because i know that's what gets attention. i mean i don't mind romantic x readers i think they're fun to read even though i don't feel romantic attraction myself but I ABSOLUTELY PREFER PLATONIC X READERS BUT I AM KINDA AFRAID TO WRITE THEM BC I DIDN'T KNOW IF ANYONE WOULD ACTUALLY READ THEM

but after coming across your account, which i am SO GLAD EXISTS, i realize big numbers don't matter, what matters is that the right people see the fics and are happy to know that there's people in this reader insert community that are just like them!!

(about the misgendering thing; i have a funny story! so i have a new therapist, and she's really cool she's the first therapist that i have ever seen to ask for my preferred name and pronouns — which fyi is extremely rare in this really small Catholic town i live in FISEK — and actually understand my aroace identity. yesterday, we were having our session in her car at my house and my dad had come home from work for lunch and stopped to say hi, said something about me to her that misgendered me. when he walked away my therapist turned towards me and asked "you looked anxious when he was walking over here, are you okay??" and i was like "yeah i just knew he was gonna misgender me :(" and then we talked about how it made me feel and she was SO VALIDATING. i mentioned how i live in a very small conservative town; it's very homophobic and transphobic here, very VERY hard to find another queer person. but my therapist told me that there are actually quite a few trans people in my town that she sees and that i'm absolutely not alone here AND THAT MADE ME SO HAPPY BC AAAAA)

^ that was longer than i meant for it to be JDJWKEKD

i swear kid's shows are so good with the found family trope — Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sonic, MY LITTLE PONY

AND THE FOUND FAMILY IN GENSHIN AAA the first thing that comes into mind is albedo and klee, i adore them both in my heart alice has adopted albedo and that alone makes me so DANG HAPPY

ABOUT THE QPRS I FRICKIN AGREE it isn't something that's exclusive to aspec people, i feel like sometimes allos end up in something like a qpr unintentionally?? like before i realized i was aroace i was very close to one of my friends — cuddling, hand holding, etc — if i knew what a qpr was back then i'd have asked about being in one with them. EVEN IF I DIDN'T END UP REALIZING I WAS AROACE and just managed to find out what a qpr was i still would have brought it up with them yk??

i have never officially been in a qpr because i'm too awkward and i have really bad social anxiety LOL but HEY, that's what fictional characters are for HEHE

I'M ALSO THE ELDEST SIBLING!! i have one brother and he's 16 months younger than me and an asshole HAHA

i'm so attached to the idea of an older brother, specifically a protective one, because the idea of having a sibling older than me who wants to protect me makes me feel so safe and secure in an environment where i'm not and AH!! that's probably why i'm so attached to thoma as a big brother

ironic bc he's a shield character DKISKEKD

AND THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY REALLY LONG ASKS AND TENDANCY TO RAMBLE i currently have diagnosed adhd but i'm not being treated yet and i am just so bad about being overly talkative people have told me i don't even stop to BREATHE when i speak

which is true, i get so out breath after a while that i'm literally gasping HDISKEKDKO

ANYWAY I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY ❤️❤️

- 🐯

THANK UUUUUU i mean i spent so much on her it almost feels like a lost yknow? but thats just me being ungrateful HAHA in the end she's very worth it shes so fun to play also shes ADORABLEEEE UGH also oooo initial banner yoimiya haver huh? based af. also the fact that you even want her cons what a chad

SAME THOOOO especially when it comes to messaging i have to double-check everything,, and FRRR WE NEED MORE DIVERSITY IN FICS actually i do plan on writing chubby reader bc im chubby myself :D i just want my comfort charas to think my chubbiness is cute instead of it being an ugly trait LOL also omg yes neopronouns i actually used to go by some neos but then nobody used them so i stopped using them myself too LMAOOOOO

and yeah true like while x reader fics are mostly written to appeal to the general masses, sometimes it's just not enough yknow? like sure i could settle for gn!reader but goddamn the euphoria i get from male reader fics....immaculate. and yeah i used to write romantic fanfics for the same reason - for clout. i mean, i did enjoy it somewhat but at the same time, it's not the only thing i wanted to do. not when non-romantic relationships are deemed insignificant.

so i started this blog. im very, very aware of the lack of attention i get but i genuinely dont care. bc at least im actually doing what i wanna do instead of doing what most people do to easily grab attention. like sure, your ayato x reader marriage fic got 10k notes - so what? marriage and romance are so overrated, especially those two combined. the only time i'll ever write a marriage fic is for a (queer)platonic marriage lmao

god bless your therapist's soul thats so nice of her!! i can relate to living in a small conservative town LMAO literally no one i know is queer (well at least, not outwardly which is understandable bc my whole country is very queerphobic). hope you find your trans buddies soon!!!

YEAHHHH tbh the whole knights of favonius is just a big happy family. also zhongli and hu tao + xiao,, and yeah that's the thing tho - ive seen people say that qprs were like normal back then but suddenly now they're not?? the only difference is that back then no one had a word for it. but now we do!! so we gotta educate and spread awareness!!! ive been in a qpr and it lasted like 5 months LMAO tbh i didnt really treat my ex any different from when we were friends,, so now we're back to being besties teehee

PFFFFT younger brothers are like that,, mine is a lazy ass motherfucker who contributes nothing to my life or even society. hate his ass. and yeah tho i dont really think about it, the thought of having an older sibling caring for you and being a role model for you is appealing...which is why i enjoyed childe's story quest LMAO but yass big brother thoma supremacy 🔥🔥🔥

IT'S OKAY you can talk to me about anything !! i actually like talkative people bc im really quiet irl so at least i dont have to come up with topics to talk about and overthink LMFAO

i hope you have an amazing day too hun <3 you dont mind me calling you that right? i have a tendency to call people endearing nicknames so please do tell me if you're uncomfortable with it !!

[agusvedder]

I DON’T CARE if this doesn’t get any notes. I need to vent.

My name is Agustina, I’m 27 years old. I’m a nonbinary, queer, latinx person, parent of a 4 year old, non-verbal authistic child. I suffer from depression and anxiety.

I’m 9 thousand kilometers away from the woman I love.

I’m not a victim. I am a minority. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I started watching Supernatural in 2015, you know, being a stay-at-home parent, who dropped her career and her job to live the first years of their child, there wasn’t much I could do in my free time but to watch a show. I caught a few episodes of season 11 on tv and then I decided to start from zero. I always acknowledged how problematic it was in terms of representation, but always saw small threads of light filtering in the message it sent, recognizing how its writers were trying to shed a little light, creating a jenga tower of storylines and new characters, only to be thrown away by poor, useless deaths and the erasure of said characters.

Since my first run on season 1 I related to Dean. I saw myself on him. (I will never be as brave and cool as him tho, never ever, but his personality traits, some of his family issues, his self worth issues, his loneliness, his unaddressed childhood trauma, his growth in a circle of violence, his reticence to address his feelings until he explodes?... Yeah. There are days where my girlfriend makes fun of me saying “Ok Dean”). I kept looking up to Dean in his geekiness, in his way he always put his life on the line to protect the people he loves and put them always first… even in the supernatural side of the storyline, he still was profoundly human and abnegated to the people in his life. Also because I’m deeply in love with Castiel but that’s another subject. Thanks to this show, I’ve found people in my own country who now I recognize as my family beyond SPN, who helped me accept myself the way I am, who are always there for me. My found family, my chosen family. Because family don’t end in blood, because family cares about you, not only for what you can do for them, because that’s what all of us have in common, and why this show resonated as strongly as it did for us. That’s why we found each other and ourselves in the process, in a circle of love, support, non-judgement and willingness to find a family in ourselves when our own blood relatives ignored us, abused us, refused to recognize us. We’ve found love and family. I’ve found the woman with whom I wanna spend the rest of my life with because of this show.

That’s the power of this story. I know my small circle is not the only one who lived this, who continues to live it.

I can talk about this forever, but there’s something I wanna talk about specifically here. When the ending aired.. what I felt was… like a bucket of cold water was thrown over my head. You know when your parents come home, or call you and give you the devastating news that someone you love died? that exact feeling. The adrenaline, the heartbreak, the feeling of loss. 

The whole season 15 and 15 years of storyline were completely overturned. The misogyny the writers tried so hard to erase, it was there again, in a faceless woman who was supposed to represent the person a lead chose to spend the rest of his life with, reduced to a lilac dress, a blurry face and a uterus. We never seen acknowledged the existence of Eileen Leahy, Sam Winchester’s romantic interest since season 11, his perfect partner whose disability wasn’t an obstacle for her to be a badass hunter. (BUT COVID!! <- No. Eileen Leahy appeared in two episodes this season without Shoshannah being on set: Last Holiday and Despair. If they wanted to include her, they would have. They didn’t because they don’t give a FUCK). Sam Winchester is an academic, a witch, a leader, a powerful hunter, a kind human being, and the ending that was given to him was living an unfulfilled life, dying at a ridiculous young age, having a son only to replace his dead brother? It was sad. Sammy deserved better. He always did.

My beloved Dean Winchester, who I love so deeply, who taught me a lot about myself, about life, love, family, about *ejem* VICIOUS CIRCLES and the power of breaking free from them, of learning to embrace one’s self, our real tastes, our real identity, to come out of a shadow of being reduced to someone’s caretaker instead of having an identity of our own, to spend life loving family the healthy amount.. well, he was killed in a ridiculous way, on a milk run of a hunt.  After being eager and ready to kill himself so many times. After all he’s been through, after saying he’s good with who he is, after considering retirement, after standing up to his dad, saying he already has a family, ready to cut the “I’m Okay” bullshit, address his feelings, his trauma, don’t letting those define him. He deserved better. He always wanted a family, he always wanted to break free from the version of himself he was created to be, “daddy’s blunt little instrument” (For fuck’s sake, he even said it in the same show 10’ before dying, man. If we don’t keep living, the sacrifice the people who died for us did, was for nothing). Are you telling me this man really would refuse his brother to call an ambulance? Refused his brother to get the first aid kit even knowing it was more serious than his brother thought? He was ready to live. He CHOSE life, and at the end his choice was stripped away from him. He clearly was a bisexual man and they never explored it.

Cas. The misfit. The fish outside of the water. Ambiguous gender and sexuality. Finally makes a homosexual declaration of love after all he’s been through. After being brainwashed, used, suicidal, isolated. After telling Sam and Dean he loved them more than once, that they meant everything for him. After confessing he’s been in love with Dean since he pulled him out of hell…. Was erased from the story. Erased, literally. Two emotionless mentions aren’t enough for a 12 year old family member who pulled both brothers out of hell, who died for them more than once, who until 2 seasons ago he didn’t even feel like he belonged there ‘cause he was never told he was loved. No one ever told him “I love you” back. Not Jack, not Sam, not Dean, not Mary. No one. Ever. And still, he died for love. And with his death, he was erased from the finale, being that the first finale Castiel wasn’t in since his appearance on the show. He deserved better. 

All roads lead to Rome and you know what we got at the end of that road? a bottomless pit of NOTHING. The building up towards a different end isn’t just in s15. It’s been there for years and years. And if you watch the show, you see it at plain sight.

 

Sam Winchester hurried to die to reunite with his brother in heaven EVEN WHEN HE SPENT 30 MORE YEARS WITH A WIFE AND A KID he only wanted to die to go back to his brother? it’s insane, it’s ridiculous. That’s not what the show has been about for seasons now. SEASONS. The road was paved towards a healthy brotherly bond, each brother living their future the way they wanted, finally breaking free from the curse John dropped on Dean that Sam’s destiny was in his hands. No no. What was that? Did it ever happen? Was it a fever dream? They really destroyed everything in 38 minutes of the finale? 

Stupid. 

Representation is important, stories are important. They change lives. You know how it changed mine? After I saw Jonathan Van Ness coming out as non-binary, I started to realize how I never called myself "a woman, a girl" or anything like that, how my "female presenting" aesthetic changes drastically depending on how I feel when I wake up  how I always called myself a "person", no gender involved. I realized I was a non-binary person even after becoming a parent. Thanks to Jonathan Van Ness. Thanks to seeing a person like her being unapologetically herself. 

Representation matters. 

It matters. 

It helped my mom understand me when I was 13 and had a girlfriend. It helped my dad educate himself about trans identities. It helped my sister understand about her demisexuality. It helps break circles of ignorance and stereotypes. It helps people process what these characters wanna tell, and realize they're human beings above it all. We suffer, we laugh, we grieve. We love. We exist. 

Supernatural missed a chance to be a historical show in terms of representation. And it breaks my heart.  I cant believe they decided to erase Dean's sexuality, to erase Castiel after saying loud and proud he's in love with a man, to erase Eileen whose disability only was a disadvantage when they KILLED HER in the most ableistic way in s11, to never show Charlie and her girlfriend again, that they decided to make God bisexual AND a villain, thay they decided to turn the only regular non-binary character of color into the villain too (Billie).

I'm still grieving.

This is why "a stupid show" is so important for me, and for lot of people like me. Cause representation can change lives. Stories can change lives. It certainly changed mine, and I'm not the only one. 

Don't let anyone tell you you're just a butthurt fan because you're suffering this ending. Every one of us have a story and this is mine. All of us are valid, our feelings are valid. And we'll get through this eventually

[theorynexus]

Knights

It has occurred to me today:  It’s been acknowledged that Knights being involved in sessions causes a lack of whatever their associated aspect is within the session in question; however, as I was thinking about it on the way to work, I realized that the reverse is likely the case in the event of a Scratch. While there have been no sessions we have seen wherein a knight is in the scratched side of the universe, in both the case of the trolls and the kids, the pre-scratch’s lack of the aspect is matched with an over-abundance of it in the aftermath of the Scratch-ing. Specifically, while we have not seen much in the way of the Beforan Trolls’ session, and I do not remember anywhere near enough about it to comment on how Latula’s presence affected everyone (other than the fact that there were a whole bunch of romantic problems that quite possibly may have stemmed from lack of filters being involved~), in the Alternian trolls’ session, there were a great many people and plots involving an over-abundance of facade and trickery:    The Black Queen cared a great enough deal about her appearance to cripple herself, and afterward attempted to rule from the shadows, keeping up the pretense of her power remaining. She was removed by means of a great deal of espionage and mind control.  As for the trolls:   Eridan and Feferi both hid their feelings and desires about one another until they were actually in the game. Kanaya couldn’t bring herself to tell Vriska about her feelings, and Vriska seemed to be oblivious as she flailed about searching for someone to reciprocate her flushed desires, manipul8ing Tavros into arriving at her planet and attempting to use circumstance (involving her hiding her intentions from Kanaya about her making a dress for her) to seduce him ([Reminds of Jane, another blue lady trying to seduce a rather innocent-minded, dopey page]).     Karkat desperately hid his blood color, he didn’t realize that people were mocking his memos until quite late in the game, and both his curse and his position as leader came about in part because of misunderstandings between him and Sollux.  Terezi stabbed Vriska after making a hard Choice, and John saved her by finding a third option. Most importantly, and rather definitively in my eyes, the entire premise of their play was steeped in clouds of facade as no one other than Aradia realized initially that their session would in fact be a Mobius Double Reacharound; nor that even this was only the prelude to a larger misunderstanding, and a bigger truth:  their session was actually a part of a linked set, never meant to be won by them alone---   it was a sort of Quadruple Mobius-Gordian Knot, tangled trans-temporally and meta-spatially as part of the Bigger Game.  No one realized until quite late that they were always destined to troll the Kids, and that that trolling would be the key to their salvation, just as their universe’s creation and the supposed null nature of their own session was the cause of their presumptive downfall.        This is a whole lot of misconception, falsehood, and fated decision-making to fill a session, and the fact that it was proceeded by a failed session involving a Knight of Mind almost certainly had something to do with it. ~~~ The Alpha Kids’ session is even more obvious in its consequences:  The first, most important fact to remember is that the Alpha Kids weren’t even in the same time frame to begin with, and their shared session was only possible via Time manipulation, miracles (more divine intervention than they could even begin to know), and the involvement of a player or two so far out of their temporal frame of reference that it’s almost illogical that they should have been able to interact with canon.  Beyond that, the following strike me as important:     Not only did it have the longest session a ridiculously drawn out time frame (the second longest on record, other than possibly Caliborn’s, which is ambiguous as all get out, length-wise), it featured an incredible amount of Lord English/Caliborn’s influence.   The latter came not only in the form of its entire premise being hijacked by his (double) agents and eventually his own fricking physical avatar (in the form of Jack English), but the abundance of death and destruction that would be wreaked upon it.  Even in the successful version of the conflicts found therein, there was a great deal of Player Death. In the pre-Retcon (note: the retcon totally does count as a variant of time travel, so this counts as another Time influence on the session’s events) playthrough, everything was plagued by the entropic, disturbing phenomenon resultant from Special Stardust being shoved into the game cartridge. Even if this is not direct Time shenanigans in nature, it definitely came from the Lord of Time, and thus counts (it also gets worse as time goes on, and the worst it ever got when the death and destruction peaked). In the post-Retcon playthrough, the Felt arrived, and Dave finally got the bee out of his bonnet and directly filled the world with his wonderful Tiiiime Maaagic (think of the stupid phrase being exclaimed whenever Time Wizard came up in Yu-Gi-Oh!) again.  Both of these factors pumped more Time into a world that had already had its time literally doubled via changing how the years of gameplay went by (new sprites = things shaken up). Oh, yeah, and I guess you could point out that the session was basically an extension of the time the Players who migrated into it would have to beat their own rigged versions of The Game. ... I’m sure that there are other facts that could be thrown in there for support of this theory, from either groups’ perspectives, but I don’t feel like scouring Homestuck for every single example available to me, so this will have to do, for now. ~~~ Edit:  Oh, and Gamzee didn’t know the truth of his cult, no one knew the danger of Gamzee, and Gamzee’s Rage powers caused Terezi to engage with Vriska using the facade of roleplay, rather than coming as a friend and trying to appeal more from the heart.

[tumblunni]

MAN OKAY IM MAKING A SELF INDULGENT KINGDOM HEARTS SONA

Probably the only main reason i havent made another one since i was a kid is cos i never really wanted to be a keyblade master. Even as a kid i always hated "they are just all magically born evil because darkness energy" as a trope. Whenever an evil guy had minions who were all "mindless and evill" and you were supposed to mow them down in droves because of it, i always felt like they seemed LESS evil, yknow? Like youre canonically stating that theyre NOT evil! Theyre dangerous, yeah, but you just said that they dont have complex cognitive thought or ability to choose their own actions. Theyrr just being USED for evil, by the guy whos the real evil! Theyre like guard dogs who were abused into dangerness and if they cant be rehibilitated then its sad, yknow? Poor heartless!! And seriously how can they make them have such cute designs and not expect us to see them that way!!

So yeah i hate that canonically the heartless are all evil and canonically everyone good has to destroy the heartless, like its the entire damn point of a keyblade so i couldnt even touch one without being forced to slay the cutebabs! And KHDDD was great with the long awaited addition of CUTE BABS GOOD GUY MONSTERS YOU CAN HUG, although they were a whole new species of monster and its still canon that heartless are all evil and the equally as annoying canon that all good/remotely sentient Nobodies look like regular humans instead of the cute patoots they once was. THE CUTE PATOOT THAT NEVER WAS!!!! Srsly the low level Dusk is my fave design in the whole series its such a good squiggle boye

OKAY OKAY SO MY POINT IS

If i was gonna make a normal khsona itd have to be either specifically a Dream Eater trainer keyblade weilder whose entire story is about pet raising and none of the fightng evil, or an Organization member because theyre the only sympathetic monsters even if they dont look monstery anymore. Even though obviously rationally my self insert in anything would always be a good guy cos i am a very soft boyo who is too much of a wimp to do the slightest evil. But alas all the best characters are evil and the monsters look so cute aaaa!!

SO OKAY my ULTIMATE self indulgent khsona would be ME AM ANSEM NOW

Me as a heartless researcher who hugs all the heartless and becomes a heartless and then we heartlessly heartfully hug! Cos seriously it is a true fact that i would be a good guy but also if someone came up to me and was like "hey its totally possible to BECOME one of the cute monsters" id be like "oh noooo dammit i guess im evil now" *shrugs in heartless* But i wouldnt really do anything evil i'd just run like.. Old friends senior heartless sanctuary. Just make a big nice house for all my monsters and bake them cakes everyday. I WOULD LEARN TO COOK FOR THEM!!!! So if that makes me evil then i guess i am evil, dammit!! "Oh nooo we dont wanna get our souls stolen and turn into really fabulous cute designs with amazing supernatural powers" well you are WRONG okay. Just my most self indulgent everything idea is just *points at the evilest beastie* im gonna lovv and cherish that! *takes a running leap into a ballpit of Darkballs* SERIOUSLY DARKBALLS ARE SOME OF THE CUTEST AND ALL THEIR ANIMATIONS ARE SO CUTE WHY IS EVERY HEARTLESS SO CUTE AND SO ANIMATED WHY ARE THEY THE MOST DIDNEY THING IN DIDNEY WHY DID THE NEW GAME ADD A HEARTLESS WHOSE JUST A BIG PUDDING WITH A FACE HOW AM I MEANT TO NOT LOVE THAT hhhh

So yeah khsona bunni is some librarian mothafucker who does Deep Darkness Research but is also the nice goofy good guy sort of mad scientist, like the nutty professor or something. I'd probably be the comic relief on some team of actual villains, thats the only way id really be any threat to anyone. But i'd also totally be The Mom Friend and itd be like u guys are having some serious battle and then i call up Mr Big Villain mid battle like HEY YO COME JOIN KARAOKE WITH ME AND THE HEARTLESS and then hes like "damn man can we have a rain check on the whole end of the world thing?"

Like lol another self indulgent oc thing would be "power to be friends with all the fave villains and they are my friend and we hug". Like an all star teamup of just specifically all bunni's fave KH and didney villains and then also they never fight anyone and we just enjoy slice of life friendship antics. Like Kuja and Ursula would be so cool!! Cos theyre both similar personality yet Kuja had experience manipulating a more loser-y lady who looked a lot like ursula so i can expect he'd underestimate her and try his queen brahne plan again and maybe get outsmarted? And maybe theyd be locked in an eternal battle of two masterminds trying to manipulate each other and along the way they somehow end up accidentally forming a mentor student or mom and son relationship? Like ursula is the better version of garland and she helps kuja heal from his childhood trauma and also in the process maybe he helps her heal from whatever ambiguous backstory event led to her being ostracized from her royal family and such. THEY WOULDNT BE BAD IF THEY HAD HUGS OK let me believe this!! And also of course theyre both the big gay/trans coded dramatic fashion person from their respective stories, so srsly there could be so much awesomeness from the combination of The Two Most Stylish Of Two Worlds! Also i wonder how Kuja would even work in a khified version? Like maybe terra still exists as a separate world in kh world rules and it has a plan to destroy and take over gaia in the same way as the original ff9. Or maybe take some of kuja's other plot points and go from there? Like with how he disguised himself as a treno noble and how he eas created by garland to be an "angel of death", maybe in this world he's a shapeshifter Nobody assassin who infiltrates different worlds and corrupts important people to help garland destroy them? But since he's a very complex experiment and complex = humanoid in this universe, it could be an excuse for him becoming sentient over time and having a plot similar to repliku wanting to be a real human. And i dunno maybe zidane is his "brother" because he's the heartless made from the same original dead guy, who was discarded as a failed experiment? Like it could be interesting to see both of them as villains on the same side, and actually have a close relationship as loving brothers. And theres even already a monkey type heartless! And i dunno maybe the plot of garland creating the genomes infiltrator heartless and then kuja going on to create black mages still black mages? Like he still makes Vivi cos seriously its SO WEIRD that the heartless are based on black mages and then of all things they decided that Vivi would be the ONLY ff9 character allowed to appear in the whole kh series and itd just be in the role of "normal human kid". But they didnt even change his design!! He still looks like a heartless!! Why does nobody question why fredbob mcnormalson doesnt have a face!! So itd make much more sense if he was still a heartless and he's just a good one who wants to be a real boy BUT COS THE WORLD SAYS ALL HEARTLESS ARE EVIL I CANT HAVE THAT. Theyre all evil and only extra evil people get to be humanoid types! Boooo! So kuja doing Special Experiment Science could explain there being at least one special heartless thats not evil. And i dunno, kuja sends vivi out on his first test mission to infiltrate and destroy twilight town but whoops instead he becomes everyone's favourite baby brother! Like he's about to devour some dude's soul and then seifer and co come in and yell at the victim like DUDE ARE U BULLYING THIS POOR TINY CHILD and they drag off this poor very confused heartless in a hug and now he's Lost Forever I Guess. Kuja: damn he tasted icecream i'll never get him back!

Look ok i really like Villains Who Are Not Bad and i will constantly make Villains Who Are Not Bad and nothing will ever be better than Villains Who Are Not Bad

My khsona is Good Heartless who hugs Good Heartless in a team of Good Heartless and also brings in other cameo characters to become Good Heartless ok yes the end hell yea hugs n such

TYHE BEST OCS IS HUGS OCS OK

[cutepacabra]

Understanding my own queerness, and my mestizaje in the South

I’m not really sure what this work is, it’s a bit of ramble from my stream of consciousness, a mea culpa for the people I’ve hurt and a coming out letter in some inane clusterfuck. Each subsection is headed with the title of an LP I’ve found particularly profound during that moment in my life.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Blacksburg Va, The Turn of the 10’s

    I had made it. I’d shed the label of the new kid and was finally free to just be some kid people didn’t know, I’d found friends and developed a distance from my past 3 years in copy paster’s guide to neighborhoods. Most of all I had yet develop a real sense of self by that point. I had the luxury of my criollo (phenotypically and by wealth) existence shielding me from having to really wrestle with what it meant to be apart from the group, I got to indulge the luxury of white anonymity; no one asked me “what are you” until they saw my name and even then my response of “Mexican” or “Mexicano” was met with a “well prove it”. Looking back I’m more than a little shocked at the arrogance on display with such assertions, certainly warranting more than my tepid “no” or capitulation. Advancement into middle school of course came with all the requisite increases in outward displays of stupidity, cruelty and insensitivity that the white mindset brings with it (typically characterized as “no one has ever hurt me by talking about my whiteness so why would it hurt anyone else” in a naivete that too oft lasts until death), including but not limited too the whole arsenal of racial slurs that a group of 11 or 12 year olds can pull or cook up, made all too easy by our ready access to the internet. We would throw the hard r a.k.a. The Papa John around with reckless abandon; pouring endless more effort into research for new ways to degrade people of colour than we would our school work, even finding the esotericists the region brought along with it, finding nothing less than delight to find out that the term “moon cricket” or “fruit picker” could be used to degrade a group of people effectively invisible in such a preeminently white space. As with all 12 year old children we were not without our share of homophobia as well, a wide smile across some of their faces as they spoke about how they’d “beat the shit out of” and then “rape” any “faggot” that dared cross them. Of course this put me in a bit of a pickle, being that I myself was a budding young “faggot” and I now had to show my mettle as much as possible in order to avoid social flaying at a level of cruelty almost unique to that age. I had to up the ante, take on that mask and assume those traits that now had become linked with being masculine and fitting in: racism, homophobia, misogyny in addition to a generally callous misanthropy.

    The ultimate manifestation of my closet persona can be summed up by all the memories conjured by a simple phrase “Do it or you’re not real” (depending on the particular boy this could be appended with a hard r or a “faggot”). I made myself a fool in boys clothing many a time at the utterance, almost like an activated manchurian candidate, from opening the emergency exit door on a bus moving at least 50 miles per hour down the highway and having to be pulled back in a Looney Toons esque fashion to the sexual harassment of women simply for the comedy of the reaction to the other boys (particularly the women the other boys realized I had a romantic interest in). I had become nothing less than a monster, caught up in the worst of reaction, white enough to be let in on the fun and games with nothing more than the occasional “border jumper” or “mexinigger” comment. Of course it’s difficult to camo hide the things that cannot be hidden and my descent into an internet supported madness borne of cognitive dissonance, memes, image boards, forums and more stimuli than you can shake a stick at, in short exactly who you think would be listening to ska punk in 2010, I would oft hear a phrase that has stuck with me. “You’re pretty weird”, the intonation would vary, sometimes being a derision laced with venom, sometimes a realization built on uncertainty and sometimes the soft smile from someone who found a compatriot in not fitting in somehow. It was undeniable that at some level me being off white or just off perturbed them. I had become a simulacra of whiteness, the dissonance between my hyper real whiteness and the true blue thing they’d known all their life was in that moment there and not; an oscillation that existed at the boundaries of the rigid modernist reality set forth by the racial framing ideology that ruled the way they thought about people. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and says the n word like a duck is it a duck? The answer here was simultaneously yes and no; I had through effort overcome my innate nature within the social structure but had  only achieved a consciousness of whiteness (and heterosexuality) that allowed me to become that simulacra; a fake that was in some ways even more real than the real thing since I had to try and maintain that identity continually, this in particular was profoundly perturbing to some of my classmates. “If someone didn’t know you they’d think you were white” and comments in that ilk always carried that worry, that uneasiness that someone from an “out group” could slip “in”, nicknames like “the infiltrator” or “undercover” further cemented this feeling.  

    This dissonance started to create a toxic pit of self loathing and internalized pathologies aimed against all the things I knew all too well I was and towards all the things I so desperately wanted to be. I hated the rise in my chest a few of my male friends would provoke; I hated my late night google dives into crossdressing paraphernalia and picture sets, desperately framed as yet another “haha look at these weirdos” “joke”; I hated knowing I was on the outside no matter how hard I tried to fit in; I hated myself. The only hate from this era which has yet to set its sun, shining overhead to this day, blinding my path.

    That’s not to say that this time didn’t have its share of counterframing towards equality and justice, I ended up adopting the typical reactionary white liberal view of the world but not without a fight put up by my mother’s strong views on human justice borne of her socially orphaned social democrat political views imported from Mexico. As well as the Priest of the local Roman Catholic Church Father Prinelli who was incredibly cool with my generalized disillusionment with organized religion and just asked me to kind to my fellow folk. It would be an unfortunately long time before I would heed their words.

Losing Streak

The North DFW ‘Burbs circa the early to mid 2010s

     While my set of friends had not traveled back with me my dips into reaction followed my move back to the same North DFW suburb I had left before landing in the New River Valley. It was around this time that my reactionary mindset found a new target to bully and deny was a part of me: the trans community. While at some level I knew I felt uncomfortable in my gender expression I interpreted this as my failure to “man up” or fulfill my traditionally masculine roles in the face of a lot of decidedly non masculine interests (S/o to ZUN’s Touhou Project series for spurring my appreciation for frilly ridiculous clothing), leading me to decide that I would simply have to be even more “masculine” which at the time meant becoming even more overt of an asshole to gender non conforming folks. I was also stripped of the masculine identity I had built up through sheer rapport with what was actually a pretty large swatch of folks, leaving me to find a new place to cast my dark closeted arts.

    I fell in with a roughly the same set of folks I hung out with during my time there in elementary school but the timbre of who I was became profoundly different. The culture and the social structure was markedly different and the survival strategies I had conceived no longer made the most sense.  On top of all this was the piling on of teenage angst both normal and dysphoria fueled. I had met the natural end of my sins, supreme loneliness, alienated from everyone around me and even the only one I had in solitude. As I gradually clawed myself a place to exist in the localized social structure it would become more and more apparent that only by beginning to shed some of the malice in my heart would lead to a better outcome.

     Better in this case was actually quite good for someone who in retrospect is wholly undeserving, I found myself with an incredibly tight knit group of about 6 people who were tempered by unexpected hardships rarely overcome by the group but almost always partially mitigated. Being as profoundly enthralled in reactionary ideology as I was it would take time for this realization that raw human kindness is what creates strong bonds. These people would layer by layer begin to peel parts of the callous shell I had built with what they had, motivating me to drop some of the most egregious of my beliefs such as homophobia, racism  until I was an even stranger mix of self hatred with external crusades for what I have come to believe are the right things.

     Bubbling beneath the surface for all this of course is the 3178 kilogramme elephant in the room of my gender identity. Being so alienated from what the “normal” male experience was I found myself not thinking that what I would come to realize were leaking feelings were anything out of the ordinary for kids my age. “Of course all guys want to be girls and think about it with regularity” “There’s nothing weird about always being an ambiguous creature or a girl in your dreams” By this point I just pinned these things down to my now personally accepted bisexuality never even having the mental framework to link these thoughts up with my transness.

Twin Fantasy

Caucasian Station, TX; Texas A&M University

    Things kinda fell apart. I was a pretty lonely person for a hot second in my HS years but I at least had the luxury of speaking with someone every single day (whether or not the people I was conversing with or I wished to is another matter) but coming to uni was another level. During the first semester of my fish year I would spend weeks without saying more than a passing set of sentences, too scared, too alienated, too depressed to even leave my dorm for more than runs for sustenance outside. My sanity was barely kept intact by working with cavelier and roguish campus activism collective “TAMU Anti-Racism” as the tensions built on campus with the rising tide of white supremacy in the days before and after the Trump election. This meager sense of purpose I ascribed to being able to “do” anything managed to keep me attached to this mortal coil even if only in the loosest fashion.

    Somehow I had become an impression left by my old husk self lying on the ground, a shadow forgotten by everything. The real inflections came in the wake of what was supposed to be a moment of triumph for me in college, my first hetero and homosexual experiences; instead I would find myself disgusted with myself, not for the acts in question but rather for my reaction to them. I kinda hated it. I started chalking this up to some sort of need for romance in my sexual relationships, this would also prove untrue. Simultaneously my “leaks” of transness were becoming more and more apparent, buying women's clothes on the internet and donning them in the dead of night in my dorm restroom only to become overwhelmed with self hate and guilt at the idea that I could be some kind of pervert because it felt right, because I wanted it. My own hate of my physical form also grew exponentially during this time although I would again simply attribute this to a pathology about being really overweight. On occasion I would even have fits of body hair dysphoria and shave all of my body hair in a panicked burst, hopping in the shower with the sole thought that it all had to go. With the answer to my feelings staring me in the face as the barrel of a gun stares in the face of someone executed in the field I still looked the sights down from the other side and said “I don’t see a gun”. Repression truly induces some incredibly wild states of mind. One of those even happened to be an entertaining of the end, through the purchase of a method before I escaped the malaise temporarily and came to my senses.

    While this may sound like a recipe for academic success the truth is I ended up in a state of failure in two of my courses at the time (physics and calculus, both of which I had long since stopped attending regularly) and I knew I only had the chance to pass 1 of them when finals week came to tower over me. My premonition came to pass and I would get a big fat F in Calculus to accompany generally low grades overall, putting me on Academic probation. By this time I had at the least come to realize that the college of engineering did not house my future academic home although I was too chicken footed to leave the next semester. With the miasma of academic failure lifted from me I would spend the next two semesters attempting to find my place at the department of Sociology and within the same organizations that dominate my time at TAMU today.  

    I also have to give great thanks to these orgs for really helping me develop my sense of latinidad and latino identity when the bloom of the cactus upon my face was oft lost in the shuffle. I’ve become much more comfortable with my ethnic heritage and more understanding of my status and place within the mestizaje as a privileged individual for being white passing, even if it’s the source of a lot of my internal turmoil. I’ve managed to dedicate so much of my time and effort to the community and in turn the community has given me back my sense of self, my sense of purpose. I no longer feel like a chunk of gravel aimlessly being flung around a highway and I owe that to all the incredible role models and friends I’ve made and met working for the betterment of Latinos on campus and in the US writ large. A fairly obvious epiphany came to me sometime in the past year or so that having a reason to live really is pretty good.

    My life would proceed without any major events until I would come face to face with the incongruity between myself and my body in an unexpected fashion the first semester of my sophomore year. During a trip to a nearby city for a conference I found myself at a dangerous level of inebriation, going quite a bit too hard. I stumbled my way into the restroom and felt the alcohol poisoning creep into my body; one by one my senses felt like they were leaving me, leaving my soul suspended in the ether. In that dissociated state I came to realization, I didn’t feel male during this brush with death, in fact I felt rather femme again refusing to believe what was in front of me I would spend hours in the next days attempting to find out if my reaction was simply a normal response to the irresponsible amount of drinks I had ingested that night.   

     A good talking to by a friend over the net that I was exhibiting quite a lot of gender non-conforming behavior finally pushed me over the edge and cracked my egg. It was still relatively early in the day when I came to point where my recession dam broke and the dysphoric waters came flooding in full force. Suddenly and violently I had context for feelings I had held for a long time and was now drowning in their full weight. Among these feelings I had pushed down and stamped upon during my early days was apparently anxiety because although I didn’t know it I was having a full blown panic attack at the time. I would come to realize what was happening only after boarding what felt like an exceedingly crowded Aggie Spirit bus, as my vision, chest and breathing further constricted. The world felt like it was collapsing in on me, my eyes went fish eyed like a sick 90s skate video, my breath grew more and more shallow. After getting off the bus and finding a solitary spot to shed some tears in I called the only people I knew I could rely on, my friends. Particularly 3 folks who I’ll leave anonymous for this letter (if i’m sending this to you, you probably know who you are) spurred me to action and to take the reigns of my life. Just before my 20th birthday in March I made an appointment with a clinic to seek hormone replacement therapy. After about 6 months in september I walked in 3 months after my blood exam with a script for estradiol and spironolactone.

    To the people who’ve supported me I can’t thank you enough. To the people I’ve hurt I can never fully atone for my transgressions against you. To those on the outside looking in, I hope this shows that life isn’t a linear path, that things can take you in directions you never thought and that there’s always a way to get better.

Thanks and Gig em,

    SRJP

[muggle-writes]

WIP Masterpost

(last updated March 30, 2019)

The formatting got all screwed up on mobile, so here’s a template of the summaries below, so you can tell what should go together. Title (link if published) Premise approximate length and other publishing notes

Partially published

Fandom: 17776

Patience Ten isn’t as patient as she hopes Nine can be. It all works out in the end Short, multi-chapter

Fandom: Harry Potter

The One I’ve Been Looking For (formerly Colors) Soulmate au: You see in black and white until you first see your soulmate, then you can see in color. Harry/Ginny with other canon pairings (but not all couples are soulmates and not all soulmates get romantically involved for a variety of reasons) Meant as a one-shot, became definitively multi-chapter, will probably wind up fairly long. Even if it’s short, it’ll contain vignettes of scenes over at least the first four years Harry attends Hogwarts

(Series) The Star’s Journey An Astoria Greengrass-centric series featuring a friendship and later relationship with Ginny Weasley. Canon compliant (so far) Originally written for PurimGifts 2019 (which is why it’s a series of one-chapter fics, rather than a single ongoing fic). Currently has three installments, at least two more are planned

Fandom: Detective Conan

Eavesdropping Hakuba Saguru is sure Tokyo’s littlest detective is too close to a certain irritating classmate phantom thief. His investigations uncover secrets that are deeper than he could have imagined. Long, multi-chapter (was once regularly updated, hoping to get back to at least bimonthly updates)

Begin Again Trans!Shinichi, begins nearly-canon and explores how the plot would be different if Shinichi were a trans guy Long, multi-chapter, no defined ending (irregular update schedule, which is not helped by being written out of order)

Sphygmoid Soulmate AU (mainly platonic, multiple connections per person) reimagining of the early series. Stripes on your arms, in different colors, represent different people that love you. They turn black if that person has died, so what does this half-and-half stripe mean? Multi-chapter, probably 4-6 chapters total when it’s done. Character-driven

Crossover with Kri – The Unseen Essence Awakening Begins basically canon, but is also set in the Kri universe, so upon a traumatic event people begin to see their Kri – the external half of their souls. (mildly self-indulgent, likely to wildly diverge from canon because the Sleeping Kogoro gag is much harder to pull off when Kogoro’s Kri is not sleeping) Short, multi-chapter. Open/ambiguous ending Marked complete on AO3, because the three chapters I initially drafted are all published, but I keep writing more so they may eventually be added ...Someone remind me to update the link in the fic header from the Kri website (which is no more) to the google drive folder containing all the official content

Fandom: Magic Kaito (Despite the frequent overlap, I do tend to write these separately)

Reunion Kaito comes home to find his father in the Kid Room Originally done as a writing exercise in the KaiShin discord, experimental (writing bot) style 1-2 more chapters before it’s complete Might be “completed” in a “choose-your-own-adventure” style with an angst ending and a happy ending

Stripes of Fate Soulmate AU: everyone has a stripe of color on their wrist that matches their soulmate’s hair color. It changes when the soulmate changes their hair color by any mechanism so it continues to match. HakuKai, starting a few years before they meet each other Published for DCMK Secret Santa 2017 but has placeholder chapters that I intend to eventually fill in because I wanted to post a “complete” story (or at least get to the happy ending) in time for the gift exchange (lol the previous version of this WIP list predicted this to end up as 2-3 chapters) Currently 7 chapters including placeholders, perhaps as many as 10 or 12 when it’s truly complete

Not at all published

Fandom: Detective Conan/Magic Kaito

(no title yet - affectionately known as Angst 1) Angst: the wrong person gets their hands on the Apotoxin, and things get worse before they get better (no character death, mostly light-hearted ending?) Long, multi-chapter (will be posted all at once because I’m not cruel enough to publish it partially and leave readers hanging… or worried about my state of mind. Also it’s harder to write now that I’m in a better headspace, but writing it was therapeutic for a while)

(no title yet - affectionately known as Angst 2) Angst: the aftermath of DC Movie 17 if any of a few things had gone a little differently at the climax of the movie. (major character death). In later chapters, canon-typical gambit pileup (which is basically crackfic in comparison to my usual style). Mostly outside perspective of the events. Short, multi-chapter (as with Angst 1, will be published all at once so I don’t leave readers with angst-cliffhangers with my irregular posting schedule. This one is mostly written except I’m several scenes beyond the original intended ending and the story keeps coming so who knows when it’ll be done and ready to publish). On the other hand, I might publish the first part as serious angst, and the later part as a separate piece due to the difference in tone. Still probably all at once

(no title yet) Heiji and Shinichi come out (from prompt) One-shot (delayed because of a mild twist, of the sort that I want to make sure I’m writing it well and that takes a lot of thought and proofreading)

Crossovers:

Crossover with A Girl and Her Fed (no title yet) Rachel and Hope meet Conan and Jodie at a coffeeshop. Hope confuses Conan. Jodie asks Rachel to contact Josh about a case they once worked together (a case that she’s still on). Rachel watches Conan solve a case. Short, 2-4 chapter (delayed until I finally read Greek Key, in case something Hope does or experiences affects how I want to write Rachel here)

Crossover with Natsume Yuujinchou (no title yet) Heiji and Conan find Natsume early in the events of (Natsume) season 6 episode 1 and assume that Natsume has the same problem Conan does Short, 1-3 chapter

Crossover with Harry Potter (no title yet) Hakuba Saguru is actually Harry Potter in disguise (from prompt, expanded to: Harry, being The Harry Potter, has been given special permission to chase criminals across country lines. Harry is investigating a notorious criminal, known to Muggles as “the last wizard of the century”, and who wears white robes as though he once went to Mahoutokoro but got caught doing illegal magic) Short, 1-3 chapter

Fandom: Undertale

An Arm and a Leg Sans begs Papyrus to take Frisk for the evening, so he can take Toriel out on a date at the last minute, and Papyrus agrees despite having already arranged to go on his first date with Mettaton the same evening One-shot (originally from prompt with the premise above, delayed embarrassingly long because I mis-remembered while planning and wrote half of another story and then having to start over (plus college life) was hell on my motivation)

Fandom: Harry Potter

(no title yet) Dudley is the Chosen One (slightly modified prophecy, fairly divergent events once they get to Hogwarts) Long, multi-chapter (being written out of order and the first chapter isn’t ready yet - I do have a good beta on standby though)

Crossover with DCMK (see DCMK section)

Crossover with the specific already-a-crossover universe of Love Is All You Need To Destroy Your Enemies (no title yet) Hermione and Julie become friends. Wonderful chaos ensues. Short, multi-chapter (the background is established but the actual fic is pending a real plot. Tentatively approved by @davetheshady despite not yet having a plot)

Crossover with MCU (no title yet) Tony Stark turns out to be Harry’s biological father, and finds out near the end of Harry’s fourth year. Character driven Longer by wordcount than Eavesdropping despite nothing being posted yet. I’m waiting on posting it until I have a clearer idea of whether this is going to have a plot arc or be solely character driven. Currently in the form of a lot of disconnected scenes

Fandom: Natsume Yuujinchou

(no title yet) Touko-centric, the truth comes out (fluff, mostly) Short, 1-2 chapter

Crossover with Detective Conan (see DCMK section)

Not WIPs (published and complete)

Fandom: DCMK

The Truth Ran confronts Conan about being Shinichi one more time, and Shinichi, after some hesitation, decides it’s time for the truth (from prompt) One-shot

Movie Night Sato/Takagi fluff: enough said. (inspired by a screenshot of a pair of YikYak posts actually), 100% canon-compliant One-shot

Memory Conan is injured and Kaito has never been less interested in keeping a promise (gen, not angst) One-shot

Stripes of Fate arguably complete - see above 7+ chapters

Crossover with Kri – The Unseen Essence Awakening arguably complete - see above 3+ chapters

Fandom: Harry Potter

Distant As a Memory A glimpse into Hermione’s mind as she prepares to erase her parents’ memories Originally written for PurimGifts 2019. One-shot. Arguably complete, may add a follow-up chapter or two because I had to cut several ideas to stay within close to the event’s maximum wordcount

Dayenu Pesach is hard, the year Luna is 10. Jewish Lovegood family. Grief/mourning and a path to recovery Originally written for PurimGifts 2019 One-shot

Fandom: Dragonriders of Pern

Flights and Fights (and Happy Endings) (title subject to change) Rearranging characters’ Weyr assignments before the double mating flight in Dragonquest, leads to averted tragedy Minor character-centric (Varena, rider of gold Ralenth, yes her name shows up in the text at least once outside of the DragonDex at the end of the book) and throws out some of the more problematic word-of-god “truths” about mating flights. One-shot. Originally written for PurimGifts 2019. Lol what’s a maximum wordcount

Other/No Fandom

The Twins The Mars Exploration Rover (MER) Mission through the eyes of Opportunity, written shortly after the news that JPL was sending their last commands to Oppy. Vaguely poetic One-shot. AO3 “corrected” the “Mars Rovers (Fandom)” tag to “Space Exploration RPF” so this is probably the only “RPF” I’ll ever write.

Related: I posted a timeline of real events, for comparison so people could easily check which events Oppy mentioned in The Twins, since the history of Curiosity and Opportunity aren’t as neatly condensed into a “canon”

[eevachu]

Do. Them. All.

oh! um- well… I GUESS HERE WE GO. LONG POST IS LONG:

1. what is your sexuality? 

2. what gender do you identify as? 

Cis lady

3. how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? 

It has been a long journey, that started with me thinking I was bisexual (but picky!) in highschool to me thinking I was pansexual (but homoromantic!) in college to me watching the “Battle of Times Square” scene in Ghostbusters last year and realizing I will never actually be attracted to a man when I have seen the one true light of lesbianism.

Gender-wise, I did some soul-searching in college when a lot of my friends finally felt safe enough to transition, and other than an unhealthy obsession with beard-growing, I’m good out here as a chick. 👌✨

4. do you have any preferences? 

Girls who look like they could kill me with their bare hands, if they wanted to, but really just want to gently comb their fingers through my hair.

5. share a positive memory about coming out! 

I don’t really have any. I don’t really “come out” to straight people anymore because the one time I did, the friend I told immediately asked if I was attracted to/going to hit on her.

6. how do you feel about pride month? 

We should all be given the whole month off paid and trans/genderqueer/NB people should get an additional $1000 cash. 

(I like it.)

7. do you participate in pride related events? any other events? 

I get a cold or something happens every June where I don’t feel up to going to Pride, but like HOPEFULLY THIS YEAR? (Baby’s first Pride at 25 is gonna be WEIRD. Someone hold my hand.)💦

8. how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media? 

I WANT MORE. I WANT THEM ALL. EVERYONE IS GAY.

9. do you feel pride in who you are? 

Yeah, I really like who I am and I’m proud of what I had to go through to get here. I like that things feel right in my life, for once.

10. who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? 

Looking back, Karolina Dean and Xavin from Runaways were some of the first gays to really have an impact on my life. When Xavin starts IDing as female it like… struck a chord with me about their relationship. I was just like, “yeah that feels right.”

Hannah Hart was a BIG DEAL for me and meeting her was so nice. It’s so great to see an openly lesbian woman being real and kind and succeeding. Watching her evolve and grow over time has been amazing. Also, that bod now, like omg Harto-san, you have become your true self and that self is making me BLUSH.

Rebecca Sugar is weirdly important to me, being in the animation industry, myself. Like… it’s so good, seeing her make a show about girls loving other girls after BEING PERSONALLY TOLD that gay content was inappropriate for children while I was in school. Noelle Stevenson and the crew on Lumberjanes are similar, because you get told you can’t make queer content for kids by the old guard. That it won’t sell, that it CAN’T sell in certain markets and that kids won’t get it. All I can think of is that HAD I known at 7 that girls can like girls maybe I would’ve asked Emma out after class and my life would be different. I don’t want that to keep happening to little girls and I’m so glad that people like Rebecca and Noelle exist.

@yamino​ and @summerlightning​ are like… life goals and wife goals. I’ve been following them for years and sometimes I just think how I’d want like EXACTLY their lives. Make gay webcomics with my pretty wife. That’s all I want to do. (Hey, read their comic @sisterclaire​, it’s gay af, you’ll love it.)

Hayley Kiyoko is a biracial sapphic queen and I love her and she is so nice and genuine and she gives GREAT HUGS. She sings songs about girls who like girls and they’re GOOD SONGS. Not just like campy gender-ambiguous low-budget stuff. She makes… god, her music videos. And I have met this small human and been to her concerts and the feeling of love and safety around that night was LIFE ALTERING.

(Also, can we talk about how that’s the flag I gave her hanging up on stage behind her and how much I love her and still cry about that? See question #26 for that story.)

Kate McKinnon, see #3 for the latest in Eevachu self-discoveries. She’s just… SHE’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. She’s famous and she’s weird and she’s out there playing big roles as an openly lesbian woman. She got me through 2016, which was honestly, THE FUCKING WORST. And she helped me accept that I can be a lesbian and still succeed.

BASICALLY, I WANNA SEE ALL THE SAPPHIC WOMEN SUCCEED, SO THAT I THINK I CAN SUCCEED AND FEEL SAFE DOING SO. REPRESENTATION MATTERS.

12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? 

Your parents are just people and one day, you’ll be better than them. You are strong, and you will find the people you are meant to be your people. You’re going to evolve and change throughout your whole life. Don’t be all tumblr witchhunt-y; people make mistakes and grow. Adults barely have any idea what they’re doing, we’ve just done it more.

13. have you come out to friends and family? 

Like occasionally? I only formally “come out” to other gays, so that we may huddle together like penguins in a storm of heternormativity.

14. how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? 

I don’t like that it’s made to seem like such a huge deal and that it’s a one time thing. Like… it’s such a pain and you have to do it over and over again and then all the straight people in the room get WEIRD ABOUT IT and you’re now the outsider and the feeling fucking SUCKS. I just don’t like that it’s a thing. The actual term is fine for what it is, since I don’t have a solutions otherwise.

15. do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? 

Yeah, and it sucks that people feel unsafe enough that they have to be in one.

16. any tips on coming out? 

I am literally the worst person to ask about this because I just like… don’t. lol I let people figure it out. Non-queers love testing out their “gaydar.”

17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? 

Lesbians for the male gaze. HEY BUDDY, LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE POINT OF LESBIANISM. NO BOYS ALLOWED.

18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? 

When queer people get to play queer characters and make their own queer stories and I get to sit there and cry because it’s so GENUINE AND GOOD.

19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? 

Well, my animation teachers would low key be like that won’t sell (see that thing I said about Rebecca Sugar in #10). But I had a gay/straight alliance in highschool, so it was fine.

20. do you practice safe sex with the same gender? 

At this point, I would probably practice any sex with the same gender. (But yes, please.)

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender? 

I don’t really like traditional butch/femme role types and I’m not into really masculine ladies. I like girls who are flexible with their gender expression like I am.

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender? 

I am a sucker for a strong independent femme in heels that would love to smash the patriarchy and then smash me.

23. how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? 

I wish there were good ones and that I had time to find them or had a senior-qualified gay to tell me where they are in Toronto. WHERE ARE THEY???

25. how does you country view the lgbtq community? 

Pictured: Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister at a pride parade.

On the surface, it’s pretty good. We also have to be careful because there are just some dirtbag conservatives waiting for us to get complacent and take away our rights. Currently, there’s a huge fucking thing about a trans right bill, so I’ve gotten to see which of my family member’s are absolute scum.

They’re here, they hate queers, but they’re usually drunk uncles.

26. favorite lgbtq actor/actress?

Hi, yes, hello, haaaaave you met Flat Kate? (see question #10)

Also, Hayley Kiyoko, because like…

…BIG GAY FLAG STORY TIME. So I went to her concert in Toronto this spring and I had everyone outside the venue that I could leave messages on it for her. All of the messages were so funny and heartfelt and there were so many baby gays at the concert and my old gay heart grew 3 sizes that day because they were there with friends and their parents and I was just SO HAPPY AND PROUD.

Then I meet Hayley because bitch splurged on VIP tickets. She gives the best hugs, and she took the time with fans and she was so genuinely happy to be there. We had a great talk and I was just thanking her for being her and doing what she do. And if you know me, you know how important it is that there’s biracial representation and she like got that. And then I give her the flag, which I had drawn on because I’M THAT KID and she’s saying how she’s gonna treasure it and read all of them and I’m like dying and trying not to openly WEEP.

Then I get into the concert which is ALL SAPPHICS, so I’m like the most comfortable that I have ever been in my entire life. Then the sound guys are setting up and they PULL OUT MY FLAG. Now, everyone knew me from when I had gotten people to write messages on the BIG GAY FLAG (”COME SIGN MY BIG GAY FLAG” is what I had been screaming), so when this flag comes out all the girls around me are like, “Girl, that’s your big gay flag.” And then I ASCENDED TO THE ASTRAL PLANE AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 

27. any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news? 

Don’t fucking make it about you. You aren’t the centre of the goddamn universe. No, you aren’t hearing about “gay news” too much for how many of us there are.

29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender?

I’m cagey about it. It always feels so uncomfortable when it’s non-queer people asking. Queer people asking is fine and we can have a good dialogue usually, but cishet people treat me like I’m a novelty and it’s gross sometimes.

Like… dyke is tired, I don’t have time to give you the Introduction to LGBTQ+ class.