#in most cases it really wasn't anyone's want or even decision | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

carriesthewind · 2 years ago

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Good evening everyone! As I said in an answer to a previous ask, there wasn't a public call-in line to listen to the Show Cause Hearing in Mata v Avianca (the ChatGBT lawyer case) today.

However, while we are waiting for a transcript of the hearing (because there was a court reporter! yay!) and a written decision by the judge, we did get this absolutely anxiety-inducing live tweet of the hearing:

(Caveat: this thread was not an official transcript of the hearing and should not be taken as such. It is possible the actual events and statements made in the hearing differ significantly from this report - i.e., take this with a grain of salt and reserve final judgement for the actual transcript.)

I'll put the full thread with some (light) commentary below the cut.* But the overall impression I am left with is that the judge seems to feel this pair of attorneys are treating their duty of candor toward the tribunal with the same seriousness with which they are treating their duty of competence to their clients. (And in this case, that's a very bad thing.)

*The full thread except for a soon-to-follow part 2 because I ran out of space for images again.

(All of the following screenshots are from the above tweet thread by Inner City Press @ innercitypress on twitter, made on June 8, 2023.)

Normally I would overlook that "you, personally," but in this case, you really get the feeling that the judge is concerned that LoDuca might just start talking about what Schwartz did again.

Establishing LoDuca's base of knowledge - he should know how to look up cases and check if they are real; he should know what a real case looks like.

The March 1 submission was the plaintiff's opposition to the motion to dismiss, where they first cited the fake cases.

How bad this answer is depends, I think, on LoDuca's wording here. Best case scenario, his statement about Schwartz was a specific statement about what inquiry was reasonable for him to do under the circumstances (which - for that first filing - I think is actually a reasonable argument. You don't expect your colleague to just make up cases). Worst case, this reads like him trying to wiggle out of his obligations. I will withhold judgement until I see the official transcript.

Rule 11, by the way, refers to Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Rule 11(b) states:

(If you remember the Order to Show Cause, we are dealing with a Rule 11(b)(2) issue here. Rule 11(c) allows the court to impose sanctions for violations of Rule 11(b))

Oh no, bad answer. (If anyone reading this is good at photoshop, I cannot express how badly I want a version of the "this sign can't stop me because I can't read" meme with the sign being the quote from defendant's reply where they say, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it.")

Oh that is not a good way of characterizing those orders. (Those were the orders, remember, where the Court said, "By April 18, 2022, Peter LoDuca, counsel of record for plaintiff, shall file an affidavit annexing copies of the following cases cited in his submission to this Court: as set forth herein. Failure to comply will result in dismissal of the action pursuant to Rule 41 (b), Fed. R. Civ. P.")

I would simply perish on the spot.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my original attempted summary of "Varghese" - the first paragraph states that it is a wrongful death suit by the widow of the passenger. Then the second paragraph states that the passenger was denied boarding on a flight due to overbooking and thus missed his connecting flight and therefore incurred additional expenses. The case was such nonsense that I legitimately forgot about that inconsistency by the time I got to the end.

Your honor I plead "2 stupid 2 sanction."

(I believe the "different fonts" is in reference to the April 25 affidavit, in which the case names - and some of the surrounding text - are in a different font from most of the text in the affidavit. It seems like this is because they may have been copied straight from ChatGPT. See e.g., #3 below. It's hard to tell just based on this twitter thread, though.)

A short and simple answer! You did it!

"I have all the answers I need" is not a good sentence in this context.

Very genuinely: shorter is better here. At least I don't think he hurt himself with that statement.

Judge Castel: How do you conduct legal research?

Schwartz: I research cases.

Judge Castel: Do you read them?

Schwartz: Well, I may have once upon a time, but after hearing you ask that question in this context, I have decided to retire from the practice of law forever and also possibly sink into the ground and die. Also, by answering "yes," here, I just realized that I'm either admitting that I read the cases I submitted and therefore must have known they were fake, or else I just possibly committed perjury. Oh shit oh fuck.

Oh god I'm cringing myself into a pretzel just reading this.

Hey, by the way? You can actually use google (esp. google scholar) to do legal research. (It's not a good tool and you will miss things, but it will do in a pinch.) But. Um. If you know that...why didn't you double check your cases at very least on google when you were told they seemed to be made up?

So, once again, I am going to withhold judgement until I see the actual transcript. That said, if Schwartz did say this, I would like to compare it briefly to a part of the chat transcript he provided to the court. Here is the first question asked about the Montreal Convention in the provided transcript:

"analysis"

Oh god. I can't even provide commentary on this one. I hope this is worse than the actual transcript will prove to be. I'm reading through my fingers like I'm watching a horror movie.

"Misperception" (or "misconception") doesn't work once you have evidence that should cause you to doubt - like not being able to find a case that was supposedly published in the Federal fucking Reporter.

This is overshooting "2 stupid 2 sanction" into "too stupid to function."* You either looked for "Varghese" or you didn't. If you looked for "Varghese," it is not credible that you continued to have a good faith assumption that ChatGPT couldn't lie. If you didn't look up "Varghese," you just lied to the Court under oath.

*Just to be clear: for an ordinary person, this would be a very understandable lack of knowledge issue. A lawyer has no excuse not to know this.

Judge Castel: Mr. Schwartz, I think you have the fucking audacity to try to lie to me to my face in my fucking courtroom.

Honestly at this point I'm surprised he could still talk. I think screaming, "I'm melting, I'm melting!" as he vanished into steam, leaving his crumpled suit behind, would be an appropriate response.

NO.

Oh no, oh honey.

Ok. Two options here (again, assuming he actually fucking said "They said they couldn't find them," in response to the Court asking, "When Avianca said you cited non existent cases?"):

Schwartz is once again trying to purposefully downplay what the defendant's reply brief actually said and dodge responsibility.

Schwartz honestly, truly believes that when the defendant filed a reply containing the line, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it," they were just asking for assistance with their legal research?!??!

I honestly don't know which is worse.

Oh no....

Oh man, I haven't gone over it here yet, but I think that "I looked up the judge" is a panicked attempt at bringing up a talking point the Professional Responsibility Lawyers raised in their memorandum of law. (Again, I'm giving this reading of his response with the caveat that it is based only on this thread, not the official transcript, which might read very differently and contain different/more info.) The Professional Responsibility attorneys noted in a footnote that two of the judges listed in the "opinion," including the "author," were actual 11th circuit judges, and the other is an actual 5th circuit judge. My read of this footnote was as an extra little detail tossed in by the Professional Responsibility attorneys to try to dress up their argument that the "opinions" had various "indicia of authenticity."

But here's the problem. If Schwartz is telling the truth - if he was reading carefully and critically enough that he bothered to look up the judge (why would you do that if you didn't think the case might be fake?!) there is no way he could have missed that the case was gibberish. Again, if this is really what he said at the hearing, he either lied in the hearing, or he must have know the "opinions" were bogus when he gave them to LoDuca to file.

"Did it cross your mind" - if the court actually said this, oh my god.

Hey, that's the point that I made in my original post(s)!

This whole thing about the "+h" to "th" with the notary date is from the recent affidavits filed on 6/6/23, you can read them about them if you want, I'll be honest, I don't really care as much about the notary stuff so I'm going to skip it for the moment.

....and I've run out of space for images again. Part II to follow shortly!

#ai bs #2 Stupid 2 Sanction

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cenorii · 8 months ago

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Wesker: personality

This is my psychological analysis of the character, which includes important details of the story, an analysis of the decisions they made and the concept of the phenomenon of «Guiding Fear». Contains spoilers!

Even if you know lore 100%, you will be able to learn something new from my thoughts

I did this to practice analyzing personalities and reliably prescribe my own characters.

[These are all my personal reflections that I have been accumulating and analyzing for six months. You can see the same analysis with Chris here. In Wesker's case, I dispel the myths that he is evil-evil and crazy, it's not that trivial here... Thanks to everyone who reads this, I really appreciate it and it's nice to know that my thoughts are of interest to someone!]

The most difficult subject of all. An attempt to embrace the immensity. He is infantile and the desire to prove this quality forced me to write such a huge article.

Wesker embodies the fear of losing himself, the anxiety of being someone he is not. He knows nothing about himself from the beginning, neither his Spencer-prescribed destiny nor his real name. As he tries to resist and exercise his individuality, he is eventually confronted with the truth that his every move has been pre-planned, never answering the questions: where are his own decisions? Where is he himself? What is really his?

I chose this fear for Wesker for a reason. The fear of losing himself can cause a person to purposely distance himself from others and not allow anyone to get close to him. He strives to shield himself from everyone, and we can observe this in his desire to be alone. Outwardly, such a person may appear indifferent and cold, even indifferent, so as not to give away to others (and to himself) his true feelings and needs. Wesker believes that it is right not to show anyone that something matters to him, otherwise he will develop weaknesses. After all, what people hold dear can be manipulated. And he doesn't want anyone to have control over him. He hates being controlled, so his surroundings know the bare minimum of information about him.

Who's Spencer? One of the founders of Umbrella, to put it succinctly. A man who is obsessed with identical mansions and mysteries and immortality and creating «perfect humanity». Rich and powerful.

But let's get to Wesker's story. A lot of things happened to him in his 48 years of life.

First of all, I want to point out that at an early age he was taken from a family that Spencer believed had a unique combination of intelligence and genes. But he wasn't the only one who was treated this way as part of «project W» (the experiment to create the perfect human). There were hundreds of children who were later given the surname Wesker. Until their adulthood, they received the best education, living in a boarding school (presumably), and were selected to be the best.

The children, being a blank slate, absorbed Spencer's teaching, being brought up according to his ideals. Their lives were pre-scripted, every step of the way. Those who were unremarkable were weeded out. Competition, anxiety. The lack of a normal childhood could breed a fear of losing oneself in every Wesker, for life was controlled. Personal boundaries and choices were absent, Spencer's worldview was pounded into everyone's head. Children were also distorted with notions of right and wrong, forced to be emotionally detached from a non-ideal world. This upbringing has produced people who have no empathy for others, empty machines with no personality of their own, ready to perform perfectly in any job in which they find themselves successful. They see the world through Spencer's eyes, but not their own.

In the end the best were 13 people, where number 12 was Alex Wesker and number 13 was Albert, the one in question. Someone who really always wanted to see the world with his own eyes, wanted to transcend.

The 13 candidates, following Spencer's plan, had to mature before moving on to the final stage of project W - injecting themselves with a special prototype virus. The power that this virus can bestow is so great that an immature individual, according to Spencer, has no right to possess it. In theory, this virus should improve a person, make him perfect, but in fact it turned out to be very selective and killed 11 candidates out of 13. Only Alex and Albert survived. Alex didn't gain any strength, because at the time of the injection she was sick, and the virus cannot improve a weak organism. But her half-brother was lucky, and the virus endowed him with all possible positive properties, changing his body and turning him into an almost immortal creature, looking completely like a human. That is, outwardly, except for the color of his eyes, nothing had changed in him. At the time of the injection, they were both 38.

I don't believe in theory that he lost his «humanity» due to mutation. On the contrary, he was never «human» in the classical sense of the word. He, like the others, was raised not to show empathy for others and was indoctrinated to believe that he was superior. Wesker had not changed, but because of his newfound freedom, he was no longer constrained by the limits Spencer's upbringing had placed on him.

When Wesker was 18, he was sent to the «Umbrella Executive Training School» with his future friend William Birkin, who was 16. They were research associates. As one could guess, the stress didn't end with his childhood, it coexisted with it. Following the text from his report, Wesker continued to feel like a mere toy in the hands of Umbrella, and further in the hands of Spencer, he literally raved in every paragraph about the old man. And to get out of this state was impossible from his words.

He and Birkin were led to Lisa Trevor, a subject who had been physically and psychologically abused in this School for many years. The horrible picture that opened before them, gave Wesker confidence that he could be in her place if he did his job badly. But he had no idea that he'd always been there, that every stage of his life was Spencer's experiment, just not as ugly.

Wesker wrote in his report: «We had two choices: succeed in our research... or lie here and rot like her. Thus we had only one option. This woman tied to a pipe touched something in our minds»

These thoughts are literally a revelation of his subconscious fear that has haunted him since childhood. A manifestation of humanity.

When Wesker entered this School, he felt freedom and saw the horrors of science for the first time. Perhaps a turning point in his life, for in order not to lose that little freedom, and his life, he had to do as he was told. Had to adjust and ignore the rationalism screaming inside. Working there greatly affected Birkin and Wesker, but Wesker had to transfer elsewhere to get more information about Spencer and also because of the realization that he had reached his research limit. When Birkin started studying the G-virus, Wesker realized that it was beyond his knowledge. Although he was good at science, he didn't want to do it all the time, he wasn't looking to improve his skills and knowledge, reaching for something else, as if trying everywhere, trying to find his place.

Close to the age of 38, Wesker gets a job in a special police unit as Captain of the S.T.A.R.S. Squad and a double agent. But he was already then pursuing a personal goal and found himself a triple agent. His goal was not simply to test bioweapons on members of his squad, as the assignment stated, but to escape with the results to another organization. The only way to break free from the influence of Umbrella, which is why he gave up his best people so easily.

It's unclear why he planted supplies on Chris in a difficult moment and helped him in every way he could if the trial was supposed to go «natural». Perhaps he wanted Chris to 100% make it to the final trial, but Chris was doing fine without it. Maintained the image of the captain? Game rules? Anything is possible. I'll use the code word «WX» to note this behavior, because I'll come back to this topic a few more times. «WX» stands for Wesker's penchant for actions that do not conform to his basic behavior, including helping others that does not bring him any personal benefit or benefit. In other words, good without any reason.

At the mansion, Chris and Jill get rid of the bioweapons in their path and make their way to the lab, where they catch Wesker off guard. There are 12 endings in the game, but only the one where Wesker is stabbed in the stomach by the Tyrant is canonical, as that is the ending depicted in Umbrella Chronicles, where the story is told on his behalf.

He survives by regenerating from a pre-injected prototype virus, but it's unclear if his death was part of the plan. His first report states that Wesker planned his temporary death from the Tyrant, but in subsequent retellings of this moment, I began to question how relevant this report was. His reaction and facial emotion shown in the re1 remake described surprise. But he couldn't be faking it at that moment, because he already had his back turned to Jill and Chris. Considering the way Wesker in Umbrella Chronicles describes his death, it seems like he really didn't expect this. Something didn't go according to plan. He didn't plan for this kind of trauma to activate the virus within him.

The point about the prototype virus is also worth mentioning. Birkin, on Spencer's orders, misled Wesker by telling him that this substance was developed specifically for him. That is, Wesker did not know the truth and details about having a huge probability of simply dying from the injection. Judging by the information in the notes, if Wesker had not injected it into himself, the virus would have entered his body in some other way, it was inevitable. The remaining 12 Weskers were injected with the virus, some by force, some at the request of a friend, and some under the guise of vaccination.

Let's take it a little further. Wesker was declared dead and moved on to another organization. Now his plan was to get rid of the sinking ship that is Umbrella. But why was he so intent on destroying it? It could have been a personal vendetta, after all, it was Umbrella that had manipulated his life and taken away his freedom. It was also a way to prove to his new organization that he was worth something.

By executing his plan, he inadvertently helped Chris and Jill, who were seeking the same thing. I'd call it «WX», but since he was pursuing a personal goal for his own benefit, it's 50\50.

Then in re4 he gives Ada the task finds the amber with the parasite Plaga. Considering that Wesker moves quietly around the island in the remake, it's odd that he didn't get that amber himself. With the power and speed from the virus, he took it all on the shoulders of one Ada, who was also infected during the mission, which only wasted his time. Didn't want to get his hands dirty? Maybe. But if he had gotten them dirty, the mission would have been completed faster, and isn't that a tactical advantage?

In the remake, he manifests «WX» (DLC Separate Ways) when he shows up at just the right moment for Ada and saves her from the ganados. After likely killing them with a gun, he takes a passed out Ada to Mendez's bedside, where he gives her a temporary recovery shot (or draws her blood?) But you know what's even weirder? He purposely chose a comfortable place for Ada, rather than laying her down on the ground somewhere. He was also there with her the entire time she was lying unconscious. I'd put an exclamation point on that weirdness, because... why? First of all, why did he save her when he could have continued the mission in her place? Recall Code Veronica, there Wesker arrived on the island with his HCF squad, but then we find his soldiers infected. He showed no concern for them and actually continued the mission on his own. Second, why did he keep sitting there? To scold and pathos leave?

He envisioned the option of Ada's possible betrayal and later stole Krauser's body, from which he had already extracted the Plaga sample, but he saved her anyway. Why? All of Ada's subsequent tasks on the island he could also have accomplished on his own and much faster. It's not like he was very busy if he allowed himself to sit with a sleeping Ada. The next meeting with Ada takes place on the elevation. Wesker brings her a case, pointing a gun at her. What is this gesture for? I don't think he sees her as a threat. Maybe it's a way to lend weight to his words, but doesn't he consider his authority absolute? He's a much bigger threat than the gun in his hand, so it's an odd action that makes him seem insecure.

After Ada's betrayal, one of Wesker's allies informs him that her helicopter can be attacked, but he refuses, calling it her "little act of defiance". Thus, he gives someone the Plaga sample she stole, and also spares Ada herself. It's «WX», though he could have gotten rid of two problems at once - the traitor and the competition.

We are now transported to the future, in the DLC for Re5 – «Lost in Nightmares». Here's where the fun begins.

DLC reveals to us that something has been bothering Wesker all his life, and that something is a subconscious manipulation that has been psychologically programmed into every Wesker. The so-called «Spencer's presence». It was a defense mechanism that constantly caused a sense of anxiety and a desire to seek out Spencer, to obey him. But this defense stopped working as soon as the old man met his prodigal son and told him everything. Wesker learned from him the whole truth about himself and about «project W», that his whole life had been manufactured. Then the defenses in his head were destroyed and he quietly killed Spencer, appropriating his dream for himself. He failed to deal with the realization of the truth, taking his dream of becoming God and creating a perfect humanity. An infantile fantasy of an unjust world that needed to be changed to fit his ideals.

In that moment, he faced his fear head-on. There she was - the cause of his fears, the person who had gotten into the depths of his mind, into his innermost being. Spencer. And now this old man was lying bloody on the floor. Perhaps Wesker should have been relieved and finally started living the life he wanted, not this old man. But he had taken Spencer's dream for himself, thus, once again acting against his will. In doing so, he didn't walk away from the problem, but exacerbated it without even realizing it. Wesker must have guessed that he had some problems, but his inflated ego that prevented him from thinking about it, screaming that he couldn't have any flaws. The problem became a hole that he tries to fill with things like this.

Whereas other characters conquer their fears by facing them, Wesker drowned in them, unwilling to change anything. His entire personality was built on the horror of losing himself, and when he found out that he basically had no self all his life, he lost his mind. He decided, since this world was unfair to him, then he needed to completely rewrite it and turn it into his own utopia, in which he would be whoever he wanted, untouchable, whom no one would point out and control.

However, thanks to the re4r (DLC Separate Ways), we now know that similar thoughts haunted Wesker even before he met Spencer. His desire to change people and start a new era he expresses after the credits. With this, the writers patched a few plot holes that appeared after re5. Now Wesker sounds like he didn't assign Spencer's goals to himself, but even before meeting him, he decided on a vision based on his upbringing.

Unfortunately, there is a long known scripting problem re5, because Wesker was not planned as a character who will survive the events of this game, so his motivation sounds stereotypical and stupid, because his plan and should not have been realized. Must be in the remake they will fix this flaw, because the beginning has already been made. His moment of frustration after killing Spencer is interrupted by Chris and Jill coming up. Consumed by rage, Wesker is seriously trying to kill Chris this time, or he was playing with him again, knowing that he would not oppose him. After saving her partner from death, Jill pushes Wesker out the window, falling down onto the rocks with him. After falling off a cliff, Wesker obviously survives, but also saves Jill. Why not just leave her to die? Why treat her and then plan to make her a test subject? Aren't there other healthy people out there? Stupid and empty revenge is not in his character. This is just another manifestation of «WX» and his obsessive desire to cling to the past.

I don't have much to say about re5, because Wesker died there, or we were made to think so. The only thing I will mention is his unhealthy attitude towards Chris. He displays it at every chance he gets. The notes about Wesker in Umbrella Chronicles state «As a spy he held the concurrent post of S.T.A.R.S. Captain and has been impressed by Chris' combat abilities since then», and during the events of Umbrella Chronicles, Wesker said the phrase «Chris, it appears our fates are forever intertwined». In the re1 remake and Code Veronica, he openly stated that Chris was «his best man» in a sort of unobtrusive admiration. It's no longer possible to perceive Redfield as separate from Wesker.

Each time he points a gun at him, Wesker never takes a shot on target. In the battle on the airplane, he points the gun at Chris without even putting his finger on the trigger. Such a good opportunity to kill him, to get rid of the enemy for good, and he just stands there holding a gun he's not even going to use. Just take the shot and it's over, but no, he's standing there babbling on as if it's actually that much more important to him. It's like Wesker was looking for an opportunity to vent to the very person from his past. It's reminiscent of the moment he pointed the gun at Ada. It's like he was trying to add weight to his words, to show the importance of what he was doing.

In Code Veronica, he decided to play with Chris instead of killing him. So many opportunities were missed, as if he couldn't physically hurt «his best man». Chris is Wesker's only drop of common sense. If he was sure of what he was doing, and also sure of himself, he wouldn't have left Chris any chance of survival. He would have killed Redfield at the first opportunity, but he stands there every time and doubts what he's doing. Chris is a kind of controlling element to him that constantly makes him hesitate.

And this strange hatred for Chris also raises questions. Maybe he hates him because he was jealous of what he owned? Something that cannot be obtained with money. Support, understanding, the love of a sister and close people, trust. Wesker compulsively convinced himself that he was not made for such things, for even having a sister, they did not possess affection. From the beginning he had no friends and his only companion was Birkin, though their relationship could hardly be called a normal friendship. He had no family or loved ones, and the only support he received came from «patrons» who were actually agents of Spencer and Umbrella. Seeing the Redfields supporting each other in difficult moments, being heroic, Wesker truly realized that he would never do the same. He has no people he holds dear, nor does he have those who hold him dear. There are no irreplaceable people in his worldview, but this connection between Redfields is probably beyond his comprehension. It's a simple human problem, which is why he's so fixated on himself, because if he loses the only thing he has, he'll have nothing left. He's miserable and drowning in his own despair.

While interacting with Chris on the volcano, Wesker first reveals his idealistic, infantile nature, naively dreaming of a better world without war and disease. Losing control of his powers and realizing that he will not defeat Chris in such a state, he decides to overdose himself with Ouroboros, which in the end does not make him stronger at all, but only slows him down, making him drown not only in weakness, but also in his own uncontrollable anger and frustration. Events are moving too quickly and so it can be assumed that his words here are not addressed to Chris, but to himself. After all, in the last battle he claimed to be «saving the world» and now he wonders «is it worth saving?» He dies without knowing the answer.

«However, there is no point in power if it consumes itself» his phrase, well suited to the situation at hand.

Btw, in the original idea, the moment before he died, his eye color would become natural, showing despair and horror. An interesting idea that was discarded.

I would also like to parse his phrases: «Only those with superior DNA will be chosen by Uroboros. Only those fit for survival will be allowed to carry their genes into a new age!» Also, «I don't need anyone else. I have Uroboros!»

Wesker is more aware of how the world works than anyone else. Corruption, betrayal, human vice and filth. He had to participate in it to achieve his goal, had to go through a lot of disgusting people for the sake of getting benefits, himself to sink to their level. Seeing this, he has become disillusioned with people, so he wishes they would disappear, giving way to someone more «worthy» of life. He also renounces everyone, entrusting his fate to his creation, desperate to gain understanding.

His life was cut short at the age of 48 (2009) in a volcano, but that's according to official reports. In theory Wesker and his possible clone are alive now, which we could learn from Umbrella Corps. But I'm not going to tell you about it here.

I failed to mention that at 32, Wesker had a relationship with a woman named Muller. Strangely, she was still alive afterward and had a good opinion of him. Although it would seem that with such a personality it should be the other way around.

She ended up pregnant, and now, as of 2021 in the re8 storyline, their son is 29 years old. I can understand why she might not have informed Wesker about the son, because first of all he might not have approved and made her get rid of him, and secondly she might have lost the ability to contact him, since he was working in secret. But the fact that she kept the baby speaks volumes. That the man she broke up with is genuinely pleasant to her. I mean, if he'd been the way he was at the time of his death, it's unlikely she would have kept the baby. Often victims of violence/abuse get rid of their children, no one wants a child from a tyrant. That's the side of this character that we don't know anything about.

It's hard to imagine how a person who has a fear of losing himself and who distances himself from others has managed to find a short-term relationship at all.

What about his personality? There's a double bottom here.

It's ambiguous. At first you see a stereotypical villain and then a psycho who wants to «save the world» by destroying it, a standard hackneyed scheme, nothing interesting.

But if you look closely, we see a simple man on the verge of despair. With his past behind him, he cannot give up everything and live the way he likes, because he is superfluous in this world. Because of his own fears, he has developed a belief that he has to strive for something in order not to lose himself. All Weskers have been raised to believe that they have a great destiny, which builds an unhealthy and extremely vulnerable self-esteem.

With his fear of losing his identity, Wesker isolates himself from others, creating psychological walls that even he is afraid to penetrate. This may be the reason he broke up with Ms. Muller. She risked getting into places where even his foot had not set foot, so it became necessary to distance himself from her in order to avoid unpredictable consequences.

His dream, adopted from Spencer, actually echoes his deeply buried problem. «Infect people with a virus that will only improve and not kill a select few like him» That is, Wesker dreamed of making people like himself. Isn't it loneliness and desperation that makes people do such things? It didn't seem that he was hungry for «power» specifically, because he already had it in the traditional sense. All the more, based on his words, he did not wish for evil with this gesture, he wished to «save» humanity, knowing that millions would die. For the sake of finding a company «worthy of him», he was willing to risk killing everyone and being alone. Desperate and lost, he began to make bad decisions.

You know, it's been unusually hard for me to see beyond the obvious. I feel like I did the wrong thing by taking it upon myself to judge him without knowing almost anything about him. I originally had a biased and negative opinion of the character. But now I've gone neutral.

What do I see in front of me now? A character disconnected from his own lore. We read about one thing and see something else entirely. And also an unhappy man. Wesker is famous for his reports. They were always interesting to read because of their informative and judicious tone, so it was much more interesting to watch him when he acted in accordance with his reasoning.

Judging from the story, he is able to evoke compassion and empathy in the viewer, but does he evoke it in action? In action, he evokes nothing. He is not even annoying, although a well-written character should evoke an emotional response, but he evokes it only with his story.

Creating something unambiguously negative is not a bad thing. But such a thing should be presented wisely, and it should have a certain kind of backstory, which will only deepen our belief that this object is evil.

But in Wesker's case, things went wrong from the start. Having created a story that resonates in you with an atmosphere of hopelessness, lack of choice, and fear of losing yourself, we see a character that doesn't match that. It's the events of the personal story that create the character, but if the character feels pulled from it, something went wrong in the writing.

If you are creating a character who is supposed to be compassion, the story should help with that, make you feel his problem. The same is true if you're writing someone who is negative and should be disgusting. Murder isn't enough to make a character a villain, the story is the main key. And our victim's story isn't about becoming evil at all, it's about fighting fear, where fear wins in the end, which doesn't fit with the concept of evil evil at all. That's why the player/reader/viewer can't always decide who he is: antagonist? Anti-villain? Who the hell is he?

[The beginning of an optional fragment]

By the way, there aren't enough facts in this analysis, so now we're going to break down the prototype virus that was injected into 13 Weskers. If you're not interested in that, skip to the next section. I haven't previously mentioned the Progenitor, from which many viruses in this universe originated, so the prototype is an unstable strain of the Progenitor, weakened dozens of times so as not to be too toxic. This virus either gives a person immense strength or kills them altogether. Alex stayed somewhere in the middle, because nothing happened to her, but her brother changed a lot.

Wesker has special genes, as well as immunity, that made the prototype fused with him. But activation, according to Birkin's report, requires a stressful situation. That means the hormones released as a result of stress dramatically amplify the influence of the virus, helping the body to initiate the fusion. It's all about hormones, we'll come back to that.

When Wesker received an injury incompatible with life from Tyrant, the hormones produced at that moment triggered the V-ACT process. He went into anabiosis, transforming all the cellular tissue in his body as well as repairing the damage he had sustained.

But having gained strength through a complete reorganization of his body, he was not yet aware of the instability of the virus inside. He didn't know that the prototype doesn't «fix» in his body. Therefore, the strength provided by the virus is not eternal, weakening with time.

So Wesker has to take PG67A/W regularly to re-secure the virus inside and stay strong. An insufficient dose of PG67A/W can cause malaise, and a large dose becomes poison. Which is what happened in re5 when Chris and Sheva injected him with the substance an extra two times. He experienced pain, and then presumably his powers escalated to the point where he no longer had control over them and they lost usefulness.

His son, Jake, also inherited genes and special immunity, which is why most viruses are harmless to him, but also do not give any advantages.

The fact that the forces of an overdose are not lost, proves the moment when Wesker easily damages the rocket with his bare hand.

Now back to the subject of hormones. Not only do they provoke viral activation, but they are a completely controlling element. Wesker, when provoking his emotions, can change the density of his own body, which also causes bioluminescence in his eyes. I noticed this when rewatching the re5 cutscenes. Always when he is about to strike, his eyes start to glow. Glow is emotion, and emotion is hormones.

This is why Excella can free pierce his skin with a needle and inject the drug, because at this point Wesker is calm and his body density is close to that of a human. In battle, his body is like a stone, it hurts Chris to hit him and this can be seen in his animations.

[The end of an optional fragment]

The injections are another painful element that robs Wesker of his sense of self-worth and freedom. Therefore, coupled with the fear of losing himself, he has an inferiority complex. This complex manifests itself outwardly in a superiority complex - in arrogance, an inflated ego, which we see in his behavior. This is the answer to the question of many people, why he behaves this way. Not considering himself a full member of society, not considering himself suitable for ordinary life, Wesker begins to believe that he is above «all that» and calls himself God, in other words self-deception.

An inflated ego is the result of psychological defense, a sign of hidden fears (loss of self). It also indicates the presence of insecurity, which he tries to hide by creating a strong image for the outside world. However, like many people with large egos, Wesker has a fragile self-esteem, which is why he hates so much the rude Chris who initially discerned his weak side. His self-esteem is closely tied to his ego, so with the image he has created, Wesker protects a side of himself that he never shows to others. He hides it even from himself, as I mentioned earlier.

I thought Jake's AI words would be perfect here:

This is the only fragment where I decided to have fun with AI, but it gave me something that really makes sense.

I would like to summarize, because the analysis turned out to be long, and something towards the end may have already slipped the reader's mind. So... What do we know?

Because of his nonstandard childhood and obsessive upbringing, Wesker has an unhealthy and extremely vulnerable self-esteem. By deceiving himself, he began to consider himself superior to everything ordinary, and to believe that he is simply not made for this cruel and unfair world with wars and diseases, so he dreams of creating «his own world», where there will be «equal» people, so that he will no longer feel superfluous.

Also, because of his childhood, he is withdrawn to the point where he hides his true feelings and needs even from himself. He feels safe as long as no one knows what he cares about. If you don't know what a person cares about, you can't manipulate him. And if he doesn't care about anything, he is invulnerable. He is afraid to be himself and express it. He himself doesn't know what «he» is really like. Judging by his phrases in the game, Wesker would like acceptance, but would never admit it openly.

It is also an echo of an effect he has been under the influence of all his life - the «fear of losing himself». This fear has become a convenient pattern of behavior in his life: pretending not to care about anything and believing it. People with this fear need to appear indifferent, not letting anyone know that anything matters to them.

But what is «fear of losing yourself»? It is the phobia that someone more powerful can manipulate you and take away your sense of security, of reliability, whereupon you no longer consider yourself strong and confident. Wesker felt for years that he was under Spencer's strong influence, his puppet, which cemented the «fear of losing himself» even deeper. Every step in his life was not his personal choice but Spencer's, Wesker was only made to think that he was acting on his own free will.

Loneliness and lack of empathy were also his eternal companions. Never having friends, never having family and support, and never having anyone that Wesker could cherish. And no one who would have treasured him. That's why he's so fixated on himself, because if he loses the only thing he has, he'll have nothing left at all. That's why he prioritizes pragmatism over emotion, easily betraying anyone and replacing one with another. But he also tends to cling to the past, sometimes betraying his pragmatism.

-------------------

Due to a misunderstanding, I would like to supplement my text. This analysis is only my personal interpretation and my personal view of the character and his story. I do not claim that it is 100% canon, because canon is so vague and disjointed that it is impossible to fully assemble it objectively. Everyone is entitled to have an interpretation different from mine. Best wishes to all!

#resident evil #rebhfun #resident evil 5 #resident evil 4 #albert wesker #chris redfield #umbrella chronicles #resident evil 6 #cenori's long posts about RE

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rainydayathogwarts · 9 months ago

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Open arms - Emily Prentiss

Smut - the way this fic has been sitting half written in my drafts forever. Go me for finally getting it done. Summary: Emily can't help but approach her ex in a dimly-lit bar wc: 2.1k

Emily thought that the night would be nice and relaxing for her and the team, celebrating another closed case at their favourite bar, their laughter drowning out the sounds of other people's conversations in the dim-lit restaurant. That was until her eyes locked in on a familiar figure standing near the bar, most definitely accompanied by someone. Emily froze, her hand tightly gripping her drink, and audibly gasped when you turned around, exposing your face to her.

"Y/n?" She whispered, catching Penelope and Derek's attention, who both turned to look at her. "You okay there Prentiss?" But she really wasn't. You were her only partner who ever stayed up waiting for her to come home from a case, genuinely concerned about her. You held her in your arms, letting her just sit there and open up if she wanted to. If she didn't, it didn't bother you, and you showered her with love nonetheless, always managing to pull a smile from her. And you were definitely the best in bed. Having you withering under her, relentlessly crying out her name was an image Emily would never forget.

She regretted leaving you every day, but it would keep you safe. After seeing what Hotch had to go through, she knew it was the smartest decision. Now that you were there though, in person after over a year of being apart, she wouldn't be able to stay away from you. If you would let her that was. She remembered your reaction, how you completely broke down, calling bullshit on her 'keeping you safe' excuse.

"I'm fine." She said, bringing herself out of her trance to take a long sip of her drink. "That an ex of yours?" Derek questioned, looking at you, now talking to a friend. You looked gorgeous, he thought. Your short black dress showed off your long legs and had a low cut to display your biggest weapon, the heels you wore flexing your calf muscles in the nicest way possible. Your stunning smile exposed your white teeth while a hand flipped your hair over your shoulder. He wondered how a dumbass like Emily was able to get you.

Emily's head shot back in your direction when she heard coughing, only to find out it was you, your face now going red as you choked on your drink, your friend, who Emily now realised she knew from when you dated, rubbing your back. Oh no... When the coughing stopped, you immediately looked back at her, confirming your suspicions. She returned your eye contact, awkwardly waving at you before you were suddenly facing away from her, refusing for the interaction to continue, earning a sympathetic look from your friend.

Emily heard a chorus of "Oof" and "Oh"s from the team, who were all cringing at the interaction. "Shut up." Emily groaned, stealing a shot from in front of Derek and downing it. She coughed twice, ignoring Derek's complaints, and turned to Spencer who was now telling them a statistic about exes. "It was actually found that 44% of Americans get back with their exes at some point after breaking up. And that only includes relationships post-break up instead of one night stands, so I'd say your chances are pretty high."

As much as Emily was unimpressed that Reid was giving her dating advice, she found herself walking up to you the minute your friend left, leaving you alone at the bar. Better me than anyone else shooting their shot, she thought. It was only when she stood right next to you that she realised she had no idea what to say and that the entire team was probably watching their interaction. She cleared her throat, muttering a small "Hey." You jumped slightly, rotating on the bar stool to face your ex-girlfriend. Emily expect you to frown, thrown your drink in her face even, but to her shock, you cracked a small smile at her. "Hey Em". "Can I sit?" She asked, shifting her weight from one leg to another.

You nodded, watching her as she sat. She looked different. She had cut her hair into bangs and wore her hair pin straight instead of the loose curls she'd put them in. She wore a low cut black top with black jeans as well as her go to combat boots. You assumed she came here straight from work. When you looked back up at her face, she was still staring at you, her gaze stuck on your thighs. "Um, can I get you a drink or something?" Her head shot up and she shook it "No, I've had enough to drink. Thanks." A long awkward silence followed and you looked over at the table she had come from, watching as all of her friends' heads shot in the opposite direction apart from one of them, still cluelessly observing you.

"I'm sorry - I shouldn't have-" "No!" You cut her off, cheeks going rosy. "Why don't we go for a walk or something?"

That walk led you both to the side of the road, waiting for a taxi as you made small talk, no discussion of going to either of your apartments until you were both sat in the back of the taxi on the way to your flat. Emily's hand rested on your thigh, both of your sides pressed against each other, faces mere inches apart as her free hand snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to her. You felt your desire for Emily grow, squeezing your thighs together to get any amount of friction.

Emily's eyes caught the movement, smiling slightly as she felt her own core heat up for you. She leaned towards you to look out of the window, pressing her tits up against you as she tried to see how far away you were from the apartment, making small talk while you waited. The second the taxi driver pulled the car over, she was tossing her money at him and following you out of the car, both her hands resting on your hips as you led her into your fancy building and towards the elevator. The second you were in the elevator, pressing the button to the right floor, her hands were wrapping around your waist and she was pressing her lips against the soft skin of your neck.

You grabbed her hand when the elevator doors opened, leading the way to your apartment and frantically opening and shutting the door before you turned around, throwing yourself into Emily's arms. You slammed your lips onto hers, wrapping your arms around her neck as you pressed your body against hers. Her hands were immediately under the skirt of your dress, groping the fat of your ass in her hands. You pulled away from the kiss, muttering "couch" to Emily, who complied, bending down slightly so she could wrap her arms around the back of your legs and picking you up.

You squealed as she walked you over to your big couch, having forgotten about her FBI agent strength. She dropped you on the couch, crawling over you but you pushed her back so she fell flat on her back on the large couch, throwing a leg over her hips to straddle her. She tried sitting up but you pushed her back, kissing her again so she would give in, letting you take control of the kiss. Her hands trailed up your body until they reached your tits and she tugged at the front of your dress, letting them spill out the front of it. You gasped, and she took your shock to her advantage, throwing her hips up into yours and rolling over so she was on top of you.

Her hands were instantly on your tits, pulling and twisting at your nipple, the other one in her mouth. "Em, Emily!" You begged, trying to grind your hips into hers but she wouldn't listen, taking her time kissing all over your body. When she couldn't reach any more skin due to the fabric of your dress, she fully separated from you, ordering you to turn around so she could undo the zipper. So you got up onto your knees, allowing Emily to undo your dress and pull it above your head, before her hands were wandering again, down your stomach and into the skimpy panties you wore.

She moaned into your ear, feeling how wet you were before both her hands were at your hips again and she was tugging you towards her as she fell backwards, landing you in her laps. She welcomed your kisses, tightly gripping your hips as you ground your cunt on her jean-clad skin. Eventually, you got desperate, tugging her shirt up so you could feel underneath it, hungrily reaching for her tits. At your whine, she finishes the job for you, tossing her shirt somewhere in the room before your hands were back behind her, unclasping her bra.

Before you manage to throw yourself onto Emily even further, you feel her hand under your panties, immediately searching for your clit, which she finds in mere seconds. You hear yourself begging for her, struggling to hold yourself above her. Emily's hands manhandle you so your back in pressed against hers, your legs spread in front of you. Her hands begin wandering once more, and she inserts two fingers into your warm core. You cry out, arching your back as Emily continues to suck hickeys onto your neck.

Her unoccupied hand plays with your tits, alternating which one she massages. Your head rests in the crook of her next, trying not to buck your hips into her hand as she continues fingering you. Your chest heaves with each breath you take, and you're too far into pleasure land to think of how much of a mistake you were making. You feel the familiar knot building up in your stomach and whimper, your hands reaching below you to grasp Emily's thigh. Moaning loudly with an arch of your back, you cum on Emily's hand. Emily, who is whispering praises in your ear and brushing your hair out of your face with her free hand.

With the effects of your orgasm now gone and you catching your breath, you begin to internally cringe. Why on earth did you think this was a good idea? You will yourself to turn around in Emily's arms, whispering "Your turn", fully aware that she wouldn't say yes. "No baby, it's okay. This is just about you." You nod, allowing yourself to fall onto the couch beside her. "I'm gonna go get cleaned up." Dragging yourself up from the couch, your legs still shaking, you shut the bathroom door before Emily gets the time to follow you.

You wrap a free towel around your torso, mentally cussing yourself out, thinking of a way to get Emily out of your house. The clock on the wall reads 3:28. It's late. You should go home. Repeating the words to yourself, you open the bathroom door to be met with the tall brunette. She smiles widely, a hand coming to your hip to bring you close and kiss you softly. You return her kiss but can't bring yourself to do the same with a smile. She senses the change in your behaviour and you take that as your chance to tell her: "It's late. You should go." You look down and away from her face so you can't see the way her smile drops. "Right. Um, this was fun." Your hum is enough of an answer to her and you practically chase her to the door once she's fully clothed.

Once the door is shut behind her, you peek through the peep hole to see her bring a hand up to her forehead, squeezing her eyes shut. She calls someone on the phone, someone you can only imagine was at the table with her at the bar. Listening closely through the door, you hear "No Derek, I did not win her heart back. She's really done with me."

But it's late. You should go sleep.

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss x reader #rainydayathogwarts #emily prentiss smut #emily prentiss angst #angst #female reader #smut #criminal minds #criminalmindsfandom #criminal minds fanfic #criminalminds #criminal minds fics #criminal minds fic #derek morgan #criminal minds smut #spencer reid

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witchxxjpg · 1 year ago

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lestappen hogwarts au dedicated to my harry potter marathon (1k words)

+ seeker Charles and chaser Max (definitely not dating you know👀)

(i know that the age gaps are incorrect and that 11 years-old Max never raced international but for the sake of this au i change these things))

******

Max sat in his compartment alone.

When he looked outside all he could see was children and their parents running around Platform 3/4 with huge trolleys filled with bags and suitcases. But Max himself had only a mediocre case with shabby textbooks and some clothes to wear during his first school year.

Honestly speaking, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't want to stand out, even though he was well aware that he wasn't quite like all the others.

When he passed by the other compartments, all the children were chatting and, Max guessed, they were just happy to see or meet each other, while some of the older students were discussing their summer breaks.

Max didn't know anyone here. He didn't even have anyone to say goodbye to.

His mother was too busy in Belgium to fly just for him to London. And his father was still furious at him for the decision to take a year off karting to study in this school for wizards. He had just dropped him off three hour ago near King's Cross Station and left without any goodbye.

Standing on the platform, Max'd thought about what to do.

After a failure of trying to ask an officer about platform 3/4 that was written on his boarding ticket Max'd sat on a nearby bench, hopping that soon he'd see someone who looked like a wizard.

And he was lucky enough that after only an hour of waiting he saw a girl, pulling a trolley of suitcases and a cage with a huge brown owl.

When Max had visited Diagon Alley last week with a big disheveled guy named Hagrid to buy all the necessary equipment for his first year, he'd been told that he's allowed to have a pet like a cat or an owl in Hogwarts. But his father didn't even want to give him money to purchase a wand, so Max knew better than to ask for an animal, even though he really wanted to have a cat.

He got into the train well earlier than all the other students, because almost all sofas were empty. He took one of the farthest compartments and put his case on the bench near him. He was too short to throw it on the top shelf and he didn't know any lifting charms. Then started looking at other wizards.

After an hour of observing the almost empty platform, Max finally started seeing more people.

They were all different: some of them wearing usual clothes, that Max's seen people in, while some others were in ridiculous outfits that he decided was sort of wizard style.

But there were a lot of children, of course. Most of them were in the same usual clothes. However, Max was relieved to see that others wore black robes that Max himself was dressed it.

Later he noticed that some of the robes of other students were with colorful elements, unlike his own that was fully grey.

The departure time of the Hogwarts Express was close, so Max sat there and waited, listening to dulled noises on the platform.

Until the door of his compartment was wide open.

"Hey, sorry, all the others are full," said a young boy, who looked around Max's age. "Do you mind if we sit with you?"

Max didn't mind at all, so he shaked his head and offered the seats.

Behind the boy who asked were two older guys who entered the room.

"Need help with your luggage?" asked one of them, pointing at Max's miserable suitcase, and Max, nodding, pointed out in his head that they're not from England, judging from the accent of these two of them.

While he put Max's case on the top shelf, the other one asked, seeing his stiffness, "First time, right?"

Max smiled awkwardly and nodded.

"Don't worry, we don't bite," cheered up the guy who helped with the luggage, chuckling.

"But Charlie can, though!" said the other, ruffling the hair of the younger boy who entered first and laughing.

Max assumed that they were all brothers, considering how well they knew each other.

The younger boy, Charlie, looked scandalous, "Hey, it only happened once!" pointing at the guy who accused him. "And you totally deserved that!"

"Okay," chuckled again the older guy. "We'll go buy us some food".

"Yeah, let the kids bond together," said the other when they exited the compartment, still giggling.

As soon as they left the younger guy jumped on the seat, opposite Max, with a huge smile and stretched out his right hand, "Hello, I'm Charles".

Shaking Charles' hand, Max mumbled, "I'm Max".

"Oh, by the way, that were Jules and Lorenzo," said Charles, pointing at the direction where the older boys had left. "They can be very annoying, I know. But still cool".

Max hesitated, "Are they your brothers?"

"Lo is," Charles smiled. "Jules is my godfather, but he's more like a brother. Do you have siblings?"

With that question Max realized that he actually missed Vic. He last saw her two months ago, while video chatting with their mother. He hoped he'd be able to go visit them on winter holidays.

"Yes, I have a sister," Max mentioned. "But she lives with my mother, and I live with my father".

He saw that Charles liked talking. "Oh, are you parents wizards?"

"No, they are both -" Max remembered that Hagrid had called them somehow, people who can't do magic. But he didn't remember. "Well, you know, not wizards".

"Muggles?" helped Charles. "That's so cool! Mine are from Monaco. Both wizards, but it's a boring story".

That explained the accent, even though Max'd thought they were French.

Max thought if he could share more about himself, "Oh, I raced in Monaco once", he said before realizing that maybe wizards didn't even know what karting was.

Until he saw how Charles' eyes went comically wide.

"Really?!" he jumped off the seat opposite Max and sat right near him. "You do karting? I also do karting. Not like anything professional but we do it every holiday".

Time passed and Max didn't even realize that. Soon returned Lorenzo and Jules with their hands full of sweets and chocolatebars. That's when Max tried his first chocolate frog and got his first card.

Then when Charles was very emotional to discuss Max's karting championships with his brothers, deep red Max was awkward to hear all this excitement (he'd never admit that he liked it). And he didn't know what to say when the older guys invited him to Monaco for winter holidays to show off the skills.

During boat trip to Hogwars Max listened to Charles speaking about four houses and how he was sure he would be in Gryffindor, because all his family was Gryffindor. Max decided that he also wanted to be brave and be in Gryffindor.

Of course, they didn't get to the same house, none of them didn't even get to the house that they'd wanted, but it wouldn't stop them from becoming best friends and probably something more.

But that's a story for later.

Now Max was just excited for his first year in the magic world.

#lestappen #charles leclerc #max verstappen #cl16 #mv1 #mv33 #my art #f1 art #f1 fandom #formula 1 #digital art

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justwonder113 · 10 months ago

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Showering Seungmin with affection Part 2

First part right here

Bang Chan; Lee Know ; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; IN;

Summary: While wide awake thinking about your poor life choices and even poorer choice in men the least thing you expect is for Seungmin to call you and ask for your help. Warnings: Not really accurate to name, because to be honest I never once considered writing the second part while writing the first one but once I got all these requests about writing continuation I just knew I had to do it; LOADS of cursing, like really, I have no shame; Idiots in love; Reader is whipped but is in denial; Emotionaly reserved reader; Denial is a river in Egypt you are in love! Like really, reader really tries their best to fight it while also not? I hope it makes sense once you read it it's like 3 am I can't think better. Reader is an overthinker. Seungmin has a headache. Shy Seungmin for a moment (Coudln't help myself) I can't think of anything else, If I missed something please let me know. Unedited. Word count-3.5k

This was fucking ridiculous! To think that two whole months went by since your vocation and here you were at two am wide fucking awake still thinking about kissing Kim Seungmin!

You still had no idea what kind of bug bit you for you to ask so recklessly, but here you were still stressing over it. But, really why were you still thinking about it? It was in the past, you were both drunk, there was chemistry and tension so you made out end of story! Why were you making such a big deal out of it? Why now? Two months went by, both of you, mostly you,(no really, you) made a conscious decision to act like nothing happened. And if were were being honest this meant that you avoided Seungmin like the plague because you knew he wanted to talk.

Okay, you were not ignorant of your feelings, and, as much as you hated the mere idea of it you liked Kim Seungmin. No big deal, it's just a crush, it will surely go away pretty soon, you just need to wait.

Okay, you liked him, quite a lot, it wasn't just a crush and you absolutely hated the fact. Why him? Anyone would be a better choice but him! What the hell was wrong with you?! Here you were all pouty and shit because, despite the fact that you were the one avoiding him, you actually missed him. God, this was so ridiculous!

To be or not to be that is the question, well in your case the question is how to stop liking someone, because you were already sick of this shit. Also, to be real, there's no way things could work out between you two. You were always fighting and at each other's throats, you have said to each other most vile and meanest words ever in the heat of an argument. The point was, that there was no peace when you two were involved, you two always disagreed on everything and if you were to get into a relationship how would that work? You didn't want to fight back and forth with a person you call your boyfriend. It also didn't help that both of you were too fucking stubborn for your own good backing down was not in your dictionary. You didn't want to be in a relationship like that. Okay, relationship sounded too serious, you didn't even know if he liked you back. He was attracted to you to some extent but you didn't know how he actually felt towards you. You hated this the most, you never knew what he was thinking, what his deal was. He was a walking mystery. An open book at first sight but full of secrets once you got to know him. Maybe that's why you were drown to him, but was it a smart move from your side?

You didn't know what his deal was, whether he liked you back an that's why he kissed you back and taunted and flirted with you or whether this was one of his little games he liked to play. Even if his intentions were genuine, it wasn't like he was this villain mastermind bad guy, you didn't feel like you could be at ease with him and security in relationship was something you deeply valued. And If he was actually pulling something you would walk right into his trap and in the fit of rage you would have to murder him, and going into prison wasn't your go to plan in the near future at least.

Why did he have to be so confusing? Literally things would be so much easier if were to fall for someone else, literally anyone, but no, you had to be difficult.

He made you question everything and it really terrified you.

You sighed and turned into your bed. Fucking Kim Seungmin making you stay up this late at night, even while not here he managed and pissed you off. You did wonder what was he up to? Probably sleeping, any sane person would be asleep right now.

Maybe he was up thinking about you too?

Okay you were feeding your delusions now. There's no way he would lose a minute of sleep for you. It would be fun though if you were tormenting him like he was tormenting you right now.

That being said your phone lit up from incoming call, and what shocked you more was to see that the little devil himself was calling you.

Did you manifest this? Should you pick up? No way. What was he thinking calling you at this ungodly hour? You were not even close! You could pretty much be asleep and seeing your seventh dream of the night right now. What a selfish prick!

You still picked up the phone, and tried to sound as groggy as you could, acting as if he woke you up(fuck principles I guess). "Why the fuck are you awake?" His quiet chuckle made you pout even more, you could clearly imagine him smiling at his phone being all cute and shit and it made you even more huffy now.

"I could ask you the same thing sunshine." He purred clearly amused.

"I was asleep thank you very much." You sighed maybe he really needed your help and that's why he was calling. "Someone better be dying."

"First of all I know you're awake Your lights are on, and well about someone dying, would it still matter if the dying person was me?"

You shot out of bed, phone still in your hand and ran towards your window. Seungmin immediately saw you and waved at you small smile adorning his face. You wanted to question him but before you could ask he started talking, "I didn't know where else to go." You didn't know what to say.

"Come inside."

Seungmin agreed and you hung up. You had no clue what was going on. If it was an emergency why did he come to you? You could never understand him! You quickly looked around if there was anything out of place not that you had time to tidy up. Thankfully you cleaned up the house, insomnia sometimes had it's perks.

After hearing a soft knock you rushed to your door and opened it. Seungmin looked a bit pale but other than that nothing was out of ordinary. He had a blank face which was confusing you even more. "I bought you snacks." he showed you a packet full of your favourite goodies. Did he actually know they were your favorite? Was this a coincidene? Did he also happened to have a great taste? Were you overthinking a bag of snacks?-Probably.

"Thank you for the offer, I shall grant you passage." You tried to sound as dramatic as possible, Seungmin smiled at you. Weirdo. After letting him in the house you examined him again, but still nothing was out of normal. You let him sit on the couch while you sat in front of him. The silence was so awkward that you started munching on one of the snacks. You offered him some, but he softly shook his head. "What's wrong?"

"Are you worried about me?" He gasped softly as if he coudln't believe what he was hearing. He was spending way too much time with Hyunjin, all dramatic and for what?" You decided to take the matter into your hands.

"No I just want to know what to tell the police if you really do die in my house." Seungmin gave you a small smile again. You coudln't name what was off but he really didn't look like himself today.

You slowly approached him not breaking the eye contact, quietly asking for consent to touch him. He looked at you with wide eyes, not saying anything, you softly touched his cheeks, then his forehead, you even touched your own forehead to make sure but no he didn't have a fever. His eyes were a bit more red and slightly irritated and, as you said, he looked paler than usual. "What's wrong?" He looked at you but quickly looked away as if he couldn't look you in the eyes. He almost looked bashful.

After a while he muttered out something about a headache and how he couldn't sleep at all.

"God I can't believe you, you should have called not go all the way to come here or you could have called a doctor! You could've bought some painkillers instead of worrying about bringing snacks! God Seungmin!" You kept yapping about how dangerous it was for him to wander around while in pain and everything, but on the inside you kind of hoped he knew that you were not mad, just worried.

"I know, I just"-he paused thinking over his next words, "I knew I had to see you. I didn't know where else to go. At first I went out to clear my head, next thing I knew I was in front of your house." He looked like he really was in pain.

You two sat in silence for a minute or two, you were about to get up to get some painkillers for him and maybe some hot tea but he stopped you, well more likely looked at you with pleading eyes and you just couldn't move.

"Can I hug you?" You must have been visibly stunned because he quickly backed down. "I'm sorry I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. God! I don't even know what I'm doing and..." You didn't let him finish his ramble, as if your body moved on its own, you sat beside him and softly wrapped your hands around him, slowly bringing him against your body as if he was fragile and could break any moment. Seungmin Immediately relaxed once he rested his head on your shoulder and also wrapped his hands around your waist. You let him be. It felt like your heart would jump right out of your ribcage and despite being terrified that he could also hear just what he did to you, you felt weirdly at peace holding him like this. You must have lost your mind. A minute ago you were preaching yourself how you should stay away from him and how you and him had no job being together. How ironic.

You just sat there holding each other, you didn't even know how much time you spent like this, both of you barely moving, just you sometimes patting his shoulder as if to remind him that you were with him and maybe also because you liked touching him. With every little pat he squeezed you a little, which, not going to lie, you found endearing.

Some more moments passed before he decided that it was time to start talking. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

He sighed, his breath his breath hitting your neck made you shiver. He straightened up, it was weird letting him go, it felt like you were missing something.

"You made it clear that you didn't want to deal with me after that night..." -He paused and looked away, it was really dark in the room illuminated by only one lamp so maybe you were just being delusional, but was he blushing? - " and here I am now, disturbing you... I should go." He got up and started heading to the door but you stopped him.

"Where are you going?" He looked at you all baffled and confused, he looked much more awake right now.

"Home?" He sounded so unsure. You quickly shook your head.

"You're staying here, it's late and you're in pain. There's no way I am letting you go!" You stated sternly, he looked really ashamed which made you soften up a little. "Listen I know things got messy between us after that night and I shouldn't have just avoided you like that, but you need to stay here. That or we're going to a nearby clinic! There's no way I am leaving you alone. Better choose wisely." He looked unsure, but once he saw that you were not going to back down he gave in.

"Okay you win." He was clearly unamused to say this words, you, on the other hand were literally thriving.

"Of course I do." He wanted to say something back but you didn't let him. You started leading him back inside "Listen up big guy, I am going to make you a tea, were going to eat some snacks and you're going to take some painkillers and then we're going to sleep sound good?"

"As you wish sunshine." He had his goofy smile on. It totally didn't make your heart do a backflip, not at all.

You got to work, you sat him down on the sofa while you started preparing things. Soon enough you were happily munching on your snacks with some hot tea. Seungmin seemed like he was in a better mood he even teased you for almost burning yourself with hot water. Well of course after fretting over you like a worried mother hen and making sure you were all right. It was like you were seeing a whole new side of him, it was different and you liked it. You felt calm sitting here with him, calm, just existing. It felt kind of domestic. It reminded you when you were laying in snow then just watching snow fall on the ground. It was a miracle you didn't catch a cold. You couldn't imagine you could do mundane things like this with him, without fighting, without the urge to strangle him to shut him up.

Once you were done and Seungmin did admit that he was feeling better it was time to go to bed, which was when things got a little bit awkward.

"I will sleep on the couch, I don't want to disturb you more than I already have." You rolled your eyes why was he still yapping about disturbing you and stuff.

"Sure if you want backpain along with your headache. We're both adults, I think we can sleep in the same bed. It's not a big deal." Yup you were totally fine with this. Absolutely, yes, of course! You were going to sleep in the same bed as him, no biggie. Who were you even kidding? You were absolutely dying inside. How did you manage to find yourself into this situation was beyond you. It was late to back down now. You already blurted this out, so you should stick to it.

You quickly left him to get him some clothes to change into, Yes, you ran away, but you preferred to call it a tactical retreat.

Here you were now tho, nowhere to run, in the same bed as him, with him just laying there in your oversized t-shirt and looking at you with confused eyes. Why did he have to look at you like that? It was enough you felt like the butterflies in your stomach were like breakdancing sumo wrestlers, but this? Was he always this adorable? His cheeks looked wxtra dquishy, his eyes looked extra sparkly, his lips... extra kissable.

This was too much! You felt bipolar from the way you wanted to feel his lips against yours again and kiss him sensless while also wanting to run away from here because you were scared you were actually going to do it.

"I don't get you sometimes." He muttered out and turned fully towards you, his gaze was so intense you thought you felt it burn your skin. For a second you felt afraid he knew what you were thinking just now.

It makes two of us-you thought, while you were complaining not getting what his deal was, you also couldn't fully understand what you were getting at right now. It felt like your every move was contradicting each other, and this push and pull situation you were creating was also starting to bother you.

Based on your lack of reaction Seungmin decided to continue talking his voice low, almost whispering. "You say that laying in the same bed is no big deal and here you are about to fall out of bed trying to stay far from me as possible yet at the same time look at me with this lovint eyes, you said that us kissing wasn't a big deal, but you spend next two months avoiding even breathing near me. Do you hate the idea of us being something this much?" You finally turned and looked into his eyes, full of longing waiting for your answer, pleading with you. You knew you had to say the truth. You couldn't run out of this one.

"I'm confused and scared" you hated how vulnarable you felt, how open, but you felt like you just had to say this. Not for him, not really, but for you. For once you wanted to show to tell just what you were feeling. Just truth without any filters, without altering it.

Seungmin held your hand, the warm touch of his hand made you feel even more vulnerable but at least somewhat grounded. You were grateful for the ounce of courage it gave you. "I'm scared too. I've never felt more confused in my life. I couldn't sleep or eat normally for days, why do you think that night didn't affect me too? All I can think about it you! What are you up to, what are you doing? What are you thinking. Every little thing reminds me of you. I felt like shit today, and the only person I could think of was you, I knew I had to see you. I haven't even realized when I started walking. I was in my house laying awake in my bed. The next thing I knew, I was in front of your house with a bad full of snacks I know you love. I didn't even know I knew these things about you. At least I wasn't aware of it." He sighed as if trying not to stray away from his course and calm himself he looked into your eyes again, his hand tightly holding yours. "Let's start by simple things. We don't have to rush anything. I like you, a lot. I don't regret at all making out with you that night. I like you. Maybe I feel even more, but I won't use that word now. Neither of us is ready." It was like you forgot how to brethe. You never expected Seungmin to open up like to you. Maybe this was all a dream, but since when were dreams so realistic?

Seungmin smiled at you, maybe he noticed something about you that you haven't noticed yet. "I know we've mixed up the order, according to our friends we've bickered like an old married couple, we've made out and well I'm literally in your bed right now," you couldn't help but laugh at his comment, you smacked his arm with your free hand. "What I'm saying is that we've messed up order of things, yes, but I want to make things right between us. What do you say about giving us a chance? Will you go out with me?" God what a dork, you couldn't help but smile.

"Can I hug you?" Seungmin clearly didn't expect to be hit with the same question he asked you when he got here, but despite his surprise, he immediately opened his arms. Feeling a bit brave, you scooted closer and got between his arms. It felt nice, his arms holding you tight, his head on top of yours, your face on his chest feeling the warmth of his skin through soft material of his (your) shirt. The shirt smelled like your laundry detergent but it already started smelling like Seungmin and it soothed you. You had no idea when did you associate his smell with comfort but you were not mad about it. You also felt how hard his heart was beating. You weren't delusional after all huh.

"You better take me to a nice place on our date Seungmin. Don't make me regret giving us a chance." You could've said it better but this was all you mastered to mutter out. Seungmin hugged you tighter, now even enterwinning your legs together. You felt at peace. Like everything was at it's place right now.

"Wouldn't even dream of it sunshine." He kissed your forehead. You looked up at him. He looked really cute with his cheek smushed up on your pillow, with messy hair and with your shirt. You couldn't help but lean in and softly seal your lips together which were as soft and nice as you remembered.

You had a feeling you wouldn't really regret giving you two a chance, you just had to wait and see.

A/N- I can't believe I have finished writing this. It's definitely more different than I usually write and I really hope you'll like it. Feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤️

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tiov1 · 3 months ago

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Obito and Rin's relationship

I just read a text from a user talking about ObiRin and honestly, I was impressed that there were 6 shares and almost 80 likes on the comment. I wonder: do people even remember what Obito and Rin's relationship was like? Because from people's feedback, I can see that they clearly don't. The comment said that Obito and Rin were not best friends and that Obito's feelings for her were "platonic", and that her behavior towards him was "no big deal". So, I ask you: what does that mean to you? Romantic or platonic love?

So I'm left wondering: Are people really looking at this relationship and not coming to the obvious conclusion that Rin Nohara loved Obito Uchiha romantically and that her feelings for Kakashi were purely platonic due to his prodigy abilities in the same way that Karin and Ino had for Sasuke? This is surreal to me.

Have you ever stopped to think about the parallels between ObiRin and NaruHina or do you prefer to confirm more information on Wikipedia, where anyone can edit and write whatever they want?

I don't think that their friendship was platonic, precisely because of the romantic reaction that Obito and Rin had and that was concretized in their reunion scene… making a direct connection with the kiss attempt made by Rin when she was still alive.

Platonic love is a type of love that involves feeling affection, admiration or even passion for someone, but without wanting to have a romantic or physical relationship with that person. In this sense, I can say that this was the case with Kakashi and Rin, since they literally had nothing special.

She felt admiration for Kakashi because of his abilities and fame as a genius, but she never tried to kiss Kakashi once and even when Kakashi died, she wasn't there for him, but for Obito she was.

Pink (meaning): pink means romance (as a primary meaning)

After her rejection, we never saw Rin try anything romantic with Kakashi or even form a solid relationship with him. In fact, their relationship went backwards instead of forwards to something more “meaningful”. They literally became just “teammates” and didn't have the same level of intimacy as she had with Obito.

Obito and Rin's relationship:

Kakashi and Rin's relationship:

So when someone tells me that their feelings (Obito and Rin) weren't romantic, even if they didn't show it verbally, you could clearly see that they liked each other beyond friendship, and not something platonic.

Notice the clear change in Rin Nohara's personality/decision and feelings in these 2 scenes:

I'm not a “romance genius”, but there are things that are too obvious not to be interpreted as romance. Besides, Kakashi has shown us countless times that what he felt for Rin was pure companionship in various situations. Even after her death, Kakashi saw her as a hallucination and saw her in other girls, but even though he had the opportunity to “date” girls similar to Rin, he never tried anything and never addressed any girl similar to Rin romantically, but rather, totally in a sense of companionship.

Even though they resembled Rin, Kakashi never even tried anything with any of them and thought of her only as a friend, literally. He himself only used the word “friend” to refer to Rin. As, for example, in episode 354, where Kakashi says: “I couldn't protect my friend.”

Or even when Sasuke said to Kakashi: “What if I had killed the person you love the most?!”

And Kakashi's response? “Those people have already… been killed.”

Kakashi has literally never, at any time in his life, seen Rin in a romantic light. Not before and not after… but Rin? I'm sorry, but it was very clear that she saw Obito romantically, she just didn't admit it to herself.

So when someone says that Rin and Obito weren't best friends and that she didn't see Obito as a potential boyfriend or even like him romantically, I'm like:

Obito and Rin were not only best friends since forever, but they also loved each other. It's so obvious that they would have ended up together romantically, that it really amazes me how there are people who actually have doubts about them in that sense. Obito & Rin is literally synonymous with romance and genuine love for each other. There are people who compare Obito and Rin with Kakashi and Guy, saying that their friendship was "similar", but for the love of the gods!!! Honestly, that has nothing to do with it. The friendship between both pairs was VERY different. In Kakashi and Guy you see friendship and rivalry, but in Obito and Rin you see love and romance.

So I'm sorry, but anyone who compares Kakashi and Guy's relationship with Obito and Rin's is simply clueless. By the way, did Guy ever try to kiss Kakashi? Not that I can recall. Neither Kakashi nor Guy are gay. Besides, it was very clear that Rin's feelings for Kakashi literally disappeared when Kakashi confessed that he abandoned her at the end of the Gaiden saga (she only liked him for his abilities, and only had love and intimacy with Obito).

And then:

She could try to disguise it, but I've never seen Rin support Kakashi the way she supported Obito.

“Rin never loved Obito romantically. She only had eyes for Kakashi! Obito never had a chance with her. He was a failure and Kakashi was a prodigy!” Let's see what Rin thinks about that.

Rin, after waiting 20 years to be reunited with only (Obito Uchiha), left Kakashi, her “love” behind forever.

It doesn't take much to realize the obvious difference.

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nights-at-crystarium · 4 months ago

Note

i just wanted to pop by and gush about how incredibly well written vivi is because GOD. his story unfolding has made me reconsider several story beats about my wol and thats an amazing thing

theres two things that i think uve done especially well with his storytelling, being that vivi feels like an almost complete enigma to the reader, despite how intimate this story is, and the fact that vivi feels incredibly human - almost TOO human to be comfortable with

so to elaborate on the first point - i think a lot of us (and certainly i can) echo thancreds sentiment that he doesn't know vivian rell, because as intimate as this story can get with his pov, in the end, much like someone you'd meet in real life, we don't know much about him before the point we meet him, and any glimpses we get just signal that theres so much more to him than we get to see. and as much as we DO know about him, i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering. to that end i really like how enigmatic uve made him from a storytelling perspective, because it makes him feel so much more real!!! i honestly look forward a lot to learning more fragments (heh) of him and slowly piecing together a puzzle of him as the story goes on. i just want to rotate him in my head lol

but also, this does segue into my other point really well, which is the fact that vivis position as wol really seems to wear on him, and he seems for lack of a better word, completely exhausted! i know (myself included) write their wols with a trait of an almost unbreakable, iron will, which is very much still true in vivis case (again, anyone who gets to the point of shadowbringers without flat out giving up is incredibly strong by default) but showing him at his wits end, exhausted with the burdens of a hero, someone just so throughly *done* with what is, realistically, a pretty shit job is well... yeah! of course he is! he's only human, and he's what, saved the world 3 times now? seen countless die before him, powerless to save them, of course he's numb. the fact that the most defining experiences of the first for him are filled with mostly such... benign experiences, and that the major, climatic moments of shadowbringers get as much fanfare as a forlong gaze, or a like. him hanging out with his fairy bestie is such a cool storytelling decision. (also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot) basically, what i've been gushing about is the fact that vivi feels very much like a whole person, and is probably one of the most well realised wols ive ever read about. and his relationships with the world leaders, and this impossible burden hes forced to shoulder has gotten me to reconsider how i write my wol, because yeah! any hero might be strong-willed and resilient, but theyre still human, and the burden of a warrior of light is maybe, a little too much for anyone to bear.

i hope u could at least make something out of my rambles, but honestly to sum it all up i am incredibly captivated by vivi. i originally read fragments because i like ANY wolgraha content but now, i come back almost exclusively to see how vivi's story unfolds, and how graha eventually comes into the fold too. hes such a fascinating character, and i think youve done an incredible job of creating a well rounded hero, full of humanity!!! (also, if you want, feel free to post this on ur blog!!)

I think I shat myself like 5 times while reading this (positive)

Vivi being an enigma wasn't really part of the plan. We have a pool that's his lore, things I wanna tell, and a bottleneck through which it has to go. The comic format forces me to consider what bits of info to deliver when, there's only so much I can tell at a time. One deliberate choice I made is completely burn the bridge between ARR and ShB, skip, leave it empty. That already sparks questions when we see a different Vivi at the beginning of ShB (and gives me leeway, time to write with more nuance, I didn't Think about HW-SB in such scrupulous detail as ShB).

I wanted to tell a primarily ShB story from the start, but had less ambition, and planned to condense the angsty bits that you're reading nowadays into an infodump told by Vivi to no one (to the reader). Changing the receiving party to a tangible character who's eager to learn (Exarch) made the info easier to digest and anchored it in the world. This change, fwiw, happened in like 2022 while I drew the ARR arc, saw the warm reception, and got more excited about my thing. I constantly learn and try to improve, writing's a new toy that brings me tons of fun.

So, when I learned the new trick - telling things through other characters - I thought, why not make everyone slightly wrong, or rather, with a specific snapshot of Vivi in their head. Same happens irl, people only know the version of you that they're exposed to, the only person who knows the full and real you is you.

That brings me to the next point, why Vivi feels so human: I made him not as a wol/hero, but a guy I wanna ship with Exarch, his foil. Obligatory note it was dumb of me to ignore Emet's existence in that case, but that's already changed. Exarch denies himself the simple human joys, he plots his own fucking death, so I thought I'd give him a guy that teaches him how to enjoy being alive again. That was THE foundation of Vivi, his core. He's a manic pixie dream boy.

Then I started asking how and why: why he falls for Exarch specifically instead of ARRRaha? He's confident, selfish, casual (these traits are what Exarch lacks), emotionally intelligent, where did that come from? He must've had an utterly normal life and loving family before he became a hero. He grew up being appreciated and happy. OH, then his ass must LOATHE the current situation because he can't go back to that normal life! So on, so forth.

i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering.

This's me carefully dropping the breadcrumbs and hoping that you notice them, and you go HOLY SHIT BREADCRUMBS, this's so validating ;w; <3 This's overtly called a story hook, though I prefer "door". So far this story's only opened doors, as in hinted at more stuff without immediately showing it. I love it when questions get delayed answers, when you get time to stew on it and build up anticipation, then, when the door finally closes, it's much more satisfying. I keep in mind all the doors I've opened, if something provokes a question, it's by design.

(also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot)

You're 100% correct!! I'm not retelling the canon ShB story from a default wol pov, this's a custom thing focused on ships, therefore anything that doesn't contribute to said ships gets cut. You may read what's NOT shown as what Vivi doesn't pay attention to.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, this gave me so much motivation like you wouldn't know ;//////;

#with your help i wrote The Official Vivi Post it seems #vivien rell #replies #fragments feedback #fragments talk #text post

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clarisse0o · 3 months ago

Text

Camp Wiegman-Part 64

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 5k

Masterlist

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Monday, March 1; 6:15 AM - Alexia and Ona's Room

Returning to my roots stings throughout my entire system. I'm exhausted. My first night away from Lucy's arms was a disaster. Needless to say, I didn't get a wink of sleep. Now she's doing her usual rounds around our beds while I yawn so wide it feels like my jaw might unhinge.

"Rough night, Batlle?" she teases kindly.

I groan pitifully, causing my friends to chuckle. She stops in front of me, scanning me from head to toe, checking my outfit before pulling me into her arms. A sigh of relief escapes me instantly. I bury my nose in her neck, inhaling her scent deeply to ensure I remember it. When I finally lift my head, she lingers on my face. One might think she's scrutinizing my barely-there makeup, but it's probably my dark circles she's focused on. Then she kisses me properly, making Alexia clear her throat after a moment.

"We should get going."

"Yep," Lucy exhales. "Go on, off you go," she says.

I head for the door, following my roommate.

"And Ona," she calls as I reach the threshold.

"Yes?"

"Don't forget your evening classes. Time to get back into the groove."

I smile and nod. We spent yesterday reviewing my classes and finishing the last bits of homework I had left. I'd already done most of them during the evening classes before the break so I wouldn't be bothered during the two-week vacation. It was a good way to get back on track.

"I don’t plan on missing them. Have a good day, Commander."

A smug smile stretches across her lips as I leave the room. I catch up to Alexia, who had gone ahead. She smiles when I reach her.

"Looks like things are going well, huh?"

"Better, yes, but it could still be better without this decision hanging over me."

"Has she changed her mind?"

"Yes and no. She explained the reasons behind her choice," I reply, shrugging. "We'll see. First, I plan to negotiate at my next meeting. Then, I’ll send a few requests to other galleries, and we'll see."

"That's already something. I hope everything goes well."

"Absolutely!"

We step outside, where most of our friends are waiting. My eyes fall on Alessia, reminding me of yesterday’s anxiety. She and her sister know about Lucy. I don’t expect them to tell anyone, but it's still a situation that could make things awkward. We greet everyone before heading to the cafeteria. Good habits really are coming back.

"Your sister’s not here?" I ask Ale.

"Well, turns out she’s got a girlfriend now."

"Really?" I ask, surprised.

"Yeah, apparently she's here, at school, so I assume she's with her."

"Wasn't she a bit difficult because you were away for two weeks?"

"Nope. Seems like having a girlfriend has its perks. I plan to find out who she is just to thank her."

I laugh. I'm curious too. With everything that happened before the break, I hadn’t noticed her getting close to anyone in particular.

"We’ll do our investigation if you want," I tease.

"Oh, for sure! If she thinks she’s going to keep her in the shadows, she's dreaming."

"And you’re the one saying that?" I tease again.

"My case is different."

"Of course," I mock. "Still, it’s time for her to introduce her at least once."

"Yeah, yeah. Soon, since the year is almost over, and I plan to move in with Jenni after school."

Seems I’m not the only one thinking about the "after school" period. I hope she tells her soon because I have a feeling this situation might backfire given how Alba is. We reach the cafeteria. Once we’re served, we sit at our usual table. From where I am, I can see Lucy join her side with Ingrid. I don’t linger, though, afraid I won’t be able to look away from her. The others start recounting their fantastic vacations. I turn to Alessia, who’s sitting next to me. Best to address the elephant in the room right away.

"How were your holidays?" I ask her.

"Pretty good," she admits. "And yours?"

She’s calm. A bit too calm, and probably a little embarrassed too. Lucy did make a point of kissing me in front of her to stake her claim the day they caught us together. I still don’t know if Alessia saw that. All I know is that Lucy marked me with a huge hickey on my neck again last night, just to be sure. My friends haven’t seen it yet since I’ve kept my scarf on, and I plan to keep it that way for a while.

"Good as well," I reply with a small smile.

"Is your girlfriend planning to keep an eye on me from now on?" she retorts, without much emotion.

I glance over at Lucy and see that, indeed, she’s sneaking looks at us between sentences with Ingrid. I bite my lip to suppress a smile. She’s impossible. Yesterday's lecture about jealousy clearly wasn’t enough for her. Maybe it’s time I tell her how much I love her to get her to relax.

"I'll talk to her. Don’t worry."

"Have you seen the hickey she gave her?" Alexia teases mockingly.

"Stop," I groan, unconsciously covering my neck with my hand. "It was the only way to leave without a ten-hour lecture."

Alessia and Alexia laugh at my expense, making me blush even more. To be honest, I like Lucy’s jealousy, but I’d never admit that to them. After our cold moment, she simply reminded me that she loves me no matter what. She knows how to reassure me.

"Did someone say hickey?"

We turn toward the voice we all recognize. Alba stands behind me with her tray in hand. I smile softly at her. I’ve missed her, actually. I didn’t expect to get so attached to her personality, but I have. She’s genuinely a good person deep down.

"Mind if we join you?"

It’s only then that I notice someone standing behind her. It’s Misa, and judging by the look she gives me, there’s no doubt she’s the girlfriend Ale mentioned. She never hung out with us much, but it happened occasionally. All I remember about her is that she wasn’t very friendly. Her choice surprises me, but after all, I don’t know her well enough to judge their relationship. The question was mostly for show, as they sit down at the end of our table. I exchange a look with Ale, who doesn’t seem thrilled with what she’s seeing. She’s understood the situation just like I have, but I know from previous conversations that she doesn’t like Misa much either. Neither of us knows how to place her.

"So, what’s this about a hickey? Who’s the victim?" Alba asks again.

"Ona," Alessia replies. "Apparently, from her girlfriend."

"Really?" she asks, surprised. "You’re with someone?"

I run my hand through my hair, feeling awkward. I didn’t want this to spread around the table. I feel like Alessia is challenging me, which is irritating. But if Lucy gave me a hickey, it’s because she wants people to know I’m taken, right? After that little internal debate, I nod.

"Uh, yeah. I’ve been dating someone for a little while," I admit.

"Wow, didn’t see that coming," she smiles. "That’s cool! Is she from here? Do we know her?"

"Alba, that's none of your business," Alexia cuts in. "And you? When were you going to tell me you were dating Misa?"

I'm relieved by her intervention. It gives me time to breathe, and she knows why. I can’t afford to reveal Lucy’s identity.

"If I’d waited as long as you to admit I was seeing someone, I wouldn’t have told you until next year," she retorts proudly.

- "What nonsense," she muttered, rolling her eyes before glancing at me.

I stifled a small laugh. I gave her a sympathetic smile, but in reality, her sister wasn't wrong.

- "So, are we not allowed any juicy details?" Alba returned to the original topic.

Of course, she was back to me. Unfortunately, I hadn't had time to think. I just shrugged. I would like to share with them, but I know I can't reveal everything.

- "She's a girl. A few years older than me, and well, that's it. We've only been together for a few weeks."

Only a few weeks. Now that I say it, it feels like we've been together for months. I'm already eager to reach our first month. Unfortunately, that's in a few days, and we'll still be here. I'm trying to stay positive, reminding myself that we'll be in Barcelona this weekend. At least I’ll have the advantage of being on my home turf. I can plan something for her at a place she doesn’t know, with Mapi as my accomplice.

- "So, you're into girls too?" Misa asked.

I leaned to see her as she was sitting just next to Alessia. She kept eating while glancing at me. Surprisingly, she smiled. Now that she knew she had nothing to worry about with Alba, maybe she’d behave differently.

- "Indeed" I replied, without going into detail.

- "And this girl," Alba asked again, "does she treat you well at least?"

Alexia rolled her eyes again, making me suppress a laugh. Honestly, they should have stayed away from each other if they were going to act like this in each other's presence.

- "Absolutely. She's amazing, even if sometimes she struggles to grasp that she's the only one who matters to me."

I punctuated my words by showing off the huge purple, almost black, hickey on my neck. She had pinned me down against the mattress, leaving me no means to defend myself. My friends gasped in disbelief, making me chuckle slightly.

- "Damn, seeing it again now, I realize she didn’t hold back at all," Ale teased as I quickly covered the evidence. "Think I can tease her about it?"

- "You? Tease her?" I raised an eyebrow. "I’d love to see that," I mocked.

- "Oh, shut up," she mumbled.

- "Wait, you know her?" Alba asked, surprised.

- "Yeah. Who do you think I spent my vacation with?"

- "Any particular reason she marked you like that?" Alessia asked, trying to prevent a sibling argument.

- "I don't know," I admitted, shrugging. "Jealousy, I guess. She knows a bit about my friends... I mean, I tell her about them a lot, so she probably feels threatened," I quickly corrected myself.

- "I wonder why. You practically devour her with your eyes. You'd have to be blind not to notice," Ale commented.

I hid my blush behind my mug of hot chocolate. I knew how true her words were. I just hoped it wouldn't be too obvious here at school. Even though there were only two months left and Lucy had said she didn’t care if she got expelled, I wasn’t on the same page. I wanted her with me until the end, so I hoped we could stay discreet. It had been a while, so I glanced over at her table. I was disappointed to find it empty. I looked quickly toward the line where people were clearing their trays, but I had to admit the truth: she was already gone. Clearly, I was already missing her, judging by the pang I felt at this realization. This day was going to feel longer than I’d like to admit.

Monday, March 1st; 5:15 PM - Lucy and Ingrid's Office.

I tried not to seem too eager when I headed to Lucy's office. First, I had to be patient while Alessia talked to me after class, and then I had to weave through the students in the hallway. If it were up to me, I would have sprinted from class the moment the bell rang. But sadly, that only happens in movies. So here I was, standing in front of her office door, which was wide open. I tapped on the wood to announce my presence before stepping inside. I didn’t wait for permission anymore—I felt at home here after having come so often. I was greeted by an empty desk on the left and Lucy behind the one on the right. We were alone. Perfect.

- "Hello," I said cheerfully.

- "Close the door," she ordered without taking her eyes off the screen.

I was already almost at her desk when she gave the command. Oh, she didn't seem to be in a good mood. I turned back to obey without complaint. A few months ago, I would have already retorted for her to do it herself. But now, I sensed this wasn’t the moment. I hoped everything would be fine. I had missed her so much today, and I didn’t want to spend the little time we had together in a bad mood.

- "You're late," she noted, as if it needed pointing out.

- "Did you miss me?"

I tried to joke to lighten her mood. To my surprise, she stood up abruptly to face me.

- "Hell, yes."

Before I could react, she spun me around and pressed me against her desk. Her slightly cold hands slid under my already open jacket. I smiled against her lips as she took them without asking. She grabbed my thighs firmly, lifting me onto the desk. I welcomed her between my legs, running my hand through her hair. For someone who wanted to keep our two relationships separate, we were far from her long speeches.

- "Take off that scarf," she growled, tugging at it.

I laughed harder as I unwrapped it before she could strangle me with it.

- "You like seeing your marks on me? I got so many comments because of you."

- "Really? I didn’t see you take it off today."

I raised an amused eyebrow. So she was watching me. Good to know. To be fair, I wasn’t any better, but now I understood why I kept running into her in the hallways.

- "You did it on purpose, didn’t you?"

- "I have no idea what you’re talking about."

I laughed, wrapping my arms around her neck. She smiled mischievously in return.

- "Well, just so you know, my friends know I’m taken. I talked to Alba this morning, and the others figured it out. They teased me all through lunch trying to figure out who you are. I said you weren’t from the school, but they think I’m lying."

- "Why would they think I’m from here?"

- "No idea. They think I don’t have a life outside of school."

"Well, aside from Mapi, you don’t see many people from your old life," she reminded me. "They’re not wrong, really. »

- "Well, it's easy to meet people nowadays. There are social media or even dating apps."

- "As if that’s your thing... It isn’t, right? Maybe I should take your phone away…"

- "Hey! No way, you idiot. As if I’d do something like that."

I roll my eyes before she kisses me again. I’ve missed her lips. It’s hard to go from two weeks straight together to a sudden cut. I’ll be happy when we no longer have to deal with the constraints of school.

- "Did Alessia say anything?"

- "No. She thinks you’re very... How do I put it? Vampiric. Or something like that. I don’t think she expected you to devour my neck."

She laughs and kisses the mark. I checked it in the mirror again during lunch and realized it’ll probably stick around for a few more days. She then steps back from between my legs, signaling that our little break is over. I hop off the desk, landing on my feet.

- "As long as she doesn’t hover around you anymore, I don’t care what she calls me."

- "Oh please, like she’d even try to go up against you. It’s a good thing she knows now."

- "Hmm... Alright, get your stuff out so we can tackle your homework. How were your classes?"

- "Boring, as always," I sigh. "I’ll be glad when I finally graduate."

- "I get that, me too," she admits with a small smile. "But we’re not there yet. By the way, I talked to Wiegman about your interview."

- "Already?" I ask, surprised.

- "Yup. The sooner it’s settled, the better. That way, we can avoid unnecessary arguments."

- "What did she say?"

- "She’s giving you permission to go, since it’s after your time here. But she’ll have to inform your mom."

I shrug, indifferent. It’s not like my mom doesn’t already know I had an interview. She’ll figure it out soon enough.

- "Will you come with me?"

- "Of course, I’ll drive you," she smiles. "There are perks to still being your guardian. Now, you just need to call Mr. Fields to find out the date."

- "Yeah... Can we also check out other galleries?"

- "I’ve already done some research," she tells me. "I made a list and sent it to Beth. Since she’s more knowledgeable and knows their reputations, she promised to review them and let me know which ones are worth sending your resume to."

- "Thank you. You’re amazing," I reply sincerely.

- "It’s only natural," she says, linking our hands. "I’ve thought about it a lot, and I want to apologize again for making you think I wanted to push you away. That was never my intention."

- "I know, don’t worry," I smile softly. "Let’s wait to see what Fields says before getting ahead of ourselves. He might offer something else."

- "Don’t get your hopes up too much. He can have as many apprentices as he wants. If you say no, that might be it for him."

- "We’ll see," I say confidently. "He seemed really interested in my profile. Maybe he won’t want to let me go so easily."

- "Babe, seriously. I don’t want you to get your hopes up and be let down. I’ll be happy if he offers you something else, but it’s better not to expect too much."

I nod. She’s right. Ever since I got the positive response, I’ve been feeling confident, but I’m likely setting myself up for a fall. I sigh, sinking into my seat.

- "Shall we get to work?"

- "You’ll get to work," she replies with a small smile. "Try to do it on your own, and I’ll correct it. I’ve still got a lot of work to do since the break is over."

I groan as I pull out the management assignment from this morning. Our teacher didn’t go easy on us, and we’ve already been hit with five exercises under the pretext that we need to be ready for the big day.

- "It’s not as fun without you."

- "Oh, come on. I won’t be sitting next to you during the exams. This is the final stretch. You need to learn to handle it on your own now."

I sigh and pout but still get to work. In a few months, I’ll be sitting through the same kind of exercises, except it’ll be on an exam paper for four hours straight. For now, I have nothing to complain about. The stress is slowly creeping in. I know I won’t be fully prepared, especially in my main subjects. Let’s not forget I’m two years behind. And to top it off, I found out today that we actually have compressed courses. Murphy explained that due to the school’s structure, we’re missing a semester out of the usual three years. After quickly doing the math in my head, we only have three semesters instead of four in a given track. At least I understand now why we’re moving faster than normal. Fortunately, my teachers often revisit points that were covered in previous years during the course. Thanks to Lucy, I’ve started asking for help more often. While I think most of my exams are out of reach, Lucy believes in me. She says I might have some terrible grades, but I can still pass. That’s all the support I need. I’m determined to prove her right. I don’t care about having outstanding grades, just passing is enough. I’ll focus on excelling in the subjects I’m stronger in, like literature and languages. They won’t be the most heavily weighted, given the track I chose, but it’s better than nothing. Time passes, and I finally finish the exercises for my upcoming classes.

- "Can you check my work?" I ask my girlfriend.

- "Of course."

She pushes aside her pile of papers and grabs my assignments. She picks up a pencil and starts reading through them. I take advantage of the calm moment to admire her. She moves her long brown hair to the side, making her even more beautiful. I smile as she unintentionally reveals the mark I gave her. It’s much smaller now and a few days old. Our bubble bursts with a knock at the door, followed by its immediate opening to reveal my management teacher. His sudden presence reminds me that we’re never truly safe from being interrupted, even with the door closed.

- "Oh yes, I forgot about your evening classes," he murmurs. "Good evening, I hope I’m not disturbing you."

- "Not particularly," Lucy replies. "How can I help you?"

- "I was just following up on the field trip, but I can come back later if necessary."

Lucy leans back in her chair, crossing her legs, but she keeps my packet of assignments in her hand and removes her glasses—the ones that make her look so irresistible—with the other. She places them on the desk and massages the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again.

- "I’ve already told you, Ona isn’t a problem. What do you need?"

I can’t help but smile at her cold tone. He’s definitely getting on her nerves. I turn back to my teacher, who looks slightly flustered.

- "Well, I wanted to confirm that Miss Engen and you will be part of the teaching staff accompanying us."

- "Alright. Is that all?"

- "For now. I’ll let you know the date of the trip and which group you’ll be in charge of."

- "Hmm. If you’re organizing the groups, make sure Ona is in mine. Since I’m designated as her guardian until the end of the year, it’ll allow me to keep an eye on her."

I can’t help but laugh at that request. Thank goodness Wiegman put her in charge. We’re definitely taking advantage of it now. I thought I was being discreet, but Lucy must have heard me because she raises an eyebrow as she glances at me. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing again. I love it when she plays the serious role like that.

- "Any objections?" she asks me.

- "None," my teacher responds.

It’s too much; I have to laugh again. He doesn’t even know who she’s addressing anymore. Lucy doesn’t miss the opportunity to remind him.

"I was talking to Ona. »

- "No problem, Bronze," I replied with as much seriousness as I could muster in that moment.

- "Good. Well, that's settled then. I'll be waiting for your update."

- "Great. Thanks again for agreeing."

Before he turned to leave, I smiled when I noticed him lingering on Lucy's neck. She couldn’t have chosen a better time to show off the mark I left on her. Then his eyes shifted to me, narrowing slightly.

- "See you tomorrow, sir," I said innocently.

- "Hmm... see you tomorrow."

- "Have a good evening," Lucy added just before he left.

I turned back to Lucy, who had resumed correcting my work as if none of that had just happened. Her glasses were back on her nose. With the door closed again, I seized the opportunity.

- "Is he always that annoying?"

- "He never was."

- "Really? I think he is. He tries to get to you at every chance he gets."

- "Well, now you can be sure he won’t come by after class, not with you here."

Her mischievous tone didn’t sit well with me. I slumped back in my chair, crossing my arms. It was obvious that if he wanted to be alone with her, he wouldn’t come by at this time anymore. That idea bothered me a lot.

- "You're not going to sulk, are you?" she teased. "I was as cold as possible. I think I made it pretty clear, didn't I?"

- "Hmm..."

- "Plus, I made sure you’d be in my group for that outing," she added. "I couldn’t really do much more than that."

- "Yes, you could. You could tell him outright that you’re not interested in men."

- "Fine. I’ll do that if that’s what you want."

A silence settled in. My mood lifted a little. I hadn’t expected her to go that far, but I felt relieved. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. I watched her as she reached the last page. She had used her pencil several times, so I could already tell there were corrections to make. When she finished, she handed everything back to me.

- "Here you go. You made a few mistakes, but you’ve understood the essentials."

- "Thanks," I replied shyly.

I took my papers and started working on my errors. Most of the time, they were just careless mistakes. Management requires a lot of formulas, and even though I’d memorized them with Lucy’s help before the holidays, I still mixed them up sometimes.

- "How was your night?"

- "Rough," I admitted. "I had trouble getting used to my small bed again, and I didn’t sleep much."

- "Your nightmares came back?"

- "No... I’m a bit afraid they will, but we’ll see. Worst case, I’ll ask to sleep over with Alexia."

I felt close enough to her now that I could ask her for that. I was sure she wouldn’t mind if I did.

- "Hmm... If it’s just her, I think I can accept that," Lucy said with a small smile. "You should take a page out of my book, you know. I know how to control myself."

- "Is that so?" I giggled. "Shall we talk about how you stared down Alessia after I talked to her? I saw you," I accused her shamelessly.

- "I think we should calm down," she laughed. "It’s not like we just spent two weeks living together."

I smiled. She didn’t even try to defend herself.

- "We should, that's true, but I doubt I could resist. I love your jealousy. It makes me feel important in your eyes."

- "You can. You're the most important person to me anyway, baby."

I blushed softly at her unexpected compliment.

- "You are too. Never doubt that. No one even comes close, no matter who I talk to."

- "Noted," she smiled. "Just make sure to remind your friend that you're taken."

- "You do that quite well on your own," I teased, tilting my head to expose my neck. "She knows, don’t worry."

- "Then we have no problem," she smiled wider.

Indeed. Aside from the issue of next year, there didn’t seem to be any more problems between us. I sincerely hoped everything would turn out fine, and even if it didn’t, I was confident we’d find a way through it.

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #ona batlle #barca femeni #woso soccer #lionesses #sefutbol fem #ona batlle x lucy bronze #alexia putellas

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artist-ellen · 7 months ago

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Housekeeping Updates!

So just in case you don't know Meta has made the decision to start scraping everything anyone posts to their new AI. There isn't really a way to opt out either. In some countries you can lodge a formal complaint, but even that doesn't mean your photos or art won't be used despite your wishes.

In a twist no one could have seen coming (sarcasm)... people are leaving or deleting their work. Many artists are going to Cara, an app that is still in Beta mode. I opened an account there as well but am unsure yet if I will post regularly to. I will most likely post my 'official portfolio' there but I don't know if there will be people who aren't artists on the site. So as an art venture it would be great... but on the hopes of connecting with my existing audience? To be seen or shared to people who might commission me? The odds aren't so good.

Lots of decisions to make I'm afraid. At the moment I will be posting my regular content here on Tumblr and to my Patreon (I've had it for years but wasn't using it actively, shout out to the two people who stayed following me over there, you're the coolest). But I won't be posting regularly to Instagram like I was. In fact I've decided to actively delete most of my art from Instagram. And since I can't count on Tumblr to house and categorize and find all that work from over the past four years I've decided to effectively use Patreon as my Archive.

All day I've been copying over my old posts to Patreon, and setting them up in a schedule so they will post once a day for... a very long time. I've barely moved a 100 redesign posts over and I'm into February next year... it's a slow and slightly monotonous process but I think it will be worth it! So if you want to relive my original redesigns on a daily basis they are over at my Patreon. I've set nearly all of them to "all members" so you don't have to be on the paid tier to see them. Only some the oldest/first draft redesigns and some behind the scene screenshots will be for my 'Support System' <3

I am looking into glazing and what not but they have to reply to a DM? or something odd like that so I'm looking at various options while I figure things out. Will this crush my tiny art business? Maybe. Will I do this in protest anyway? Yeah. F Meta. (Holds in tirade about the state of megacorporations owning our data)

TLDR: Meta wants everybody to feed their ai for free, I'm removing posts from IG and archiving them onto my Patreon for all members. I'm still going to be posting on tumblr.

xoxoxo

#ellenart #ellen artistic #screw meta with a spikey baseball bat #patreon #coloring books #things won't really change here #my IG will be cleaned out #and will be more about my business stuff #rather than art

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slvt4em1lyprenti2s · 11 months ago

Text

You don’t have to thank me

Originally published on my wattpad: slvt4em1lyprenti2s

Summary: Emily is feeling a little insecure so reader comforts her.

Word Count: 1.1k

Fluff

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

!NOT PROOFREAD!

You and Emily are dating in secret (even though the team has basically figured it out)

Reader pov:

Today we had the bitchiest little boy in custody. Well, he wasn't a little boy, he was a fully grown man who needs to learn some basic manners and how to act his age.

He was caught red handed - literally - we caught him mid-stabbing the victim (who thankfully we saved) with blood all over his hand. And yet he still denied he did anything.

I'm going to smack his smug little face into the wall.

"Hey you okay over there?" I hear Derek say to me that snaps me out of my fantasies of beating the crap outta this guy.

"Yeah. I'm fine, this guy is just pissing me off. Classic misogynist just like we profiled but goddamn. I didn't think anyone could be this bad." I let out an exasperated sigh as Morgan sat down in the chair next to me.

"You know, I've seen you deal with much bigger dickheads than this guy, and you've been totally fine. You know what I think has gotten under your skin so much?" He smirks lightly as he's talking which makes me hesitant to ask what.

"What? Please do enlighten me." I say trying to stop myself from rolling me eyes at the shit-eating grin he has on his face.

"I think it's because he insulted your little girlfriend." I blush at the mention of Emily and he picks up on it instantly.

"I knew it! Hey, I'm not judging but, I think it may have gotten under her skin too so, go find her! Make her happy." He says with this time a genuine smile on his face as I stand up.

"Just not too happy." There it is. He's back.

"Ha, ha. Will do, but really. Thanks for letting me know." I reply as I walk away.

While I was walking I got held up in my thoughts a bit. Had that dig about her hair really got to her? I mean not that she's not allowed to be vulnerable but, I thought she loved it? Is she not happy with it?

I'm snapped out of my thoughts as I've reached the meeting room she's in. As if on autopilot I close the door behind me as I step in and walk over and sit on the chair next to her.

"Hi honey." She mumbles without even looking up, already knowing it was me. She was looking over the case file but, I could tell her head was somewhere else.

"Hey, how are you doing?" I was trying not to push her too much but I need to be able to help her if she is upset so before she could answer I continued. "Morgan told me you were a bit upset, you know, about what the UnSub said. If you are, which you shouldn't be because he's an arse, I just want to let you know that you are absolutely stunning my love and nothing can ever, and will never change that okay?" By this point she's turned her chair so our knees are interlinked and I've grasped her hands as she looks me in the eyes.

"I'm uhm- I'm not okay." she murmured tearily. I could see the older woman fighting back the tears threatening to spill and my heart breaks. How could someone so incredible, in every aspect of their life, feel so down about themselves?

"That's okay love, I'm proud of you for admitting that." I smile and squeeze her hands signalling for her to continue explaining why she's upset.

"The things he said, about my hair and looking old. They really got to me and I don't know why. I just- in all honesty I've never been sure about my decision to stop dying my hair. I mean I don't regret as such I just wish I didn't look so old. I feel like I look like a little old lady and most of all, it's made me think I don't deserve to be with you. You're quite a bit younger than me and you're gorgeous and, me? I'm none of that. So what he said today, just solidified those feeling." By the time she had finished I was wiping the last of her tears off of her cheeks. My heart aches for her and I wished she could see herself the way I see her.

"Sweetheart, please listen to me carefully when I say this. You are the most beautiful woman I know, and you do not look old, you look sexy and trust me, everyone thinks so. You're absolutely stunning em and I honestly wish you could see that. Nothing that twat said today is true, so don't listen to those thoughts saying you're not beautiful or not worthy because you are my love. Please believe me when I say it, let it go in one ear and out the other okay? And if anything, I don't deserve to be with you. You're the most precious person I've ever known and that fact I get to be your girlfriend is the best thing that's ever happened to me. You know what I need and when I need it, you know what I like and what I don't, and you love with your whole heart and Emily, you'll always be my girl no matter what okay?" As I finished my speech she instantly pulled me into a kiss.

It was slow and sensual, we poured all the emotions we had built up over that day into that kiss but most importantly, it showed me that she believed me. That she loves me and I love her, more than anything in this world.

As we pulled apart my hand was still on her cheek, my thumb caressing her cheekbone. We just sat there for a bit, looking at each other and basking in the other presence before she gently pulled me into a hug.

It was like it was two puzzle pieces slotting together. Her embrace was so comforting and I always feel safe whenever I'm in her arms.

I pull away and look her in the eye.

"C'mon, let's pack up and get on the jet as soon as we can so we can go home." I say as I take her hand and pull her to her feet after au stand up.

She presses a soft kiss to my lips before she pulls away and looks me deep in the eyes.

"Love?" She speak softly.

"Yes?" I say.

"Thank you, I love you so much. I don't know what I would do without you." she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You don't have to thank me honey, it's what I'm here for. I love you too."

#emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n #emily prentiss x female reader #wlw #lesbian #sapphic #lesbian pride #wlw fanfic #wlw pride #criminal minds #bau #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic

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666writingcafe · 7 months ago

Text

Surprise

Lucifer

Everything hurts. And I mean everything, from the top of my head all the way down to my feet. The worst part is that I can't do a single thing about it because I'm too busy trying to wrangle my brothers in.

There's a part of me that just wants to throw my hands up in the air and walk away from the situation, but my pride won't let me. Whether I like it or not, these guys fell with me, meaning that they're my responsibility. I can't leave them unsupervised. As it is, they've done immense damage to the room we're currently in; if I wasn't here, there might not even be a room left standing.

Mammon is grabbing every shiny object in the room and hoarding it in a corner, Levi's already flooded the room once, Asmo's broken every mirror, Beel's taken a bite out of any object that resembles food, and Belphie's somehow passed out on the couch.

And then there's the newest addition to this motley crew, Satan. He's responsible for half the damage in this room simply from allowing his frequent fits of rage to control his actions. He's also scratched us quite a number of times whenever we've tried to restrain him.

I'm on the verge of breaking, despite my best efforts to keep myself composed. Someone in our group has to, and it isn't going to be any of these guys.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the prince and his butler standing in the doorway. Between them is a demon I've not seen before. Must be yet another applicant. I understand why the ad was put out, but every single person that has come in to try their hand at managing us has failed miserably. They often lie in two groups: those that are scared off by the responsibility, and those that I have to send away before they hurt any of us, sometimes by force.

Judging by the look on this particular demon's face, I'd say they're about to be a member of the first group. They seem way too nervous to be able to remain in this room for longer than five seconds.

I glance up at the clock and watch the second hand as it passes six marks.

Remarkably, the demon in question is still here, and they've actually managed to step inside the room. I would applaud their courage, but I have to keep my guard up. Their nervousness could have been a ruse, and they actually intend on causing trouble for us. That wouldn't be the first time that's happened since these little auditions began.

They carefully approach Satan, who's currently growling like a wild animal. While they're not unique in their decision to choose Satan as their first target, they're definitely the most gentle about it. The others have usually stormed up to him and started picking a fight with him. I don't know what they were trying to achieve, but it was a really stupid move on their part to purposely provoke him.

"Look," they murmur, summoning a ball of white light to appear right above their hand. Something about it seems to interest Satan, for not only has he stopped growling, but his eyes are intently trained on it.

"Do you like it?" the demon asks softly. Satan slowly nods his head. "Do you want to hold it?" Another nod. I think it's the most he's ever communicated with anyone outside of screaming and snarling at them. I suppose that's a mark in their favor.

But it could also be a trap. There's been a couple people that have used similar tactics, where they've appeared sweet but then turn violent at the flip of a switch.

As the demon transfers the ball of light to Satan's hand, I quickly realize that's not the case. The longer he holds it, the calmer he seems to become. I don't know what kind of magic this demon used to quiet Satan down, but it seems to be working.

"Who are you?" he asks them. The simple question causes everyone to stop what they're doing and gawk at him, making the room eerily silent. This is the first time Satan's actually spoken.

"Why are you looking at me?" he adds, shooting dirty looks towards the others. "Do you think I'm a freak or something?"

"Don't worry about them," the demon coaxes. "Just focus on me." Surprisingly, Satan listens to them, albeit with a sour expression on his face.

"To answer your question, my name is Zephyr," they explain.

"Zephyr?" Satan repeats. "Like the west wind?"

"Sort of." Zephyr softly smiles at him. "Do you like Greek mythology?" Satan's face lights up.

"I was actually just reading a book about it. It's one in an encyclopedia series that goes over various mythological creatures across multiple realms."

"What the fuck is even happening right now?" I hear Mammon whisper.

"Since when could he talk?" Asmo quietly adds. The whispering causes Satan to frown.

"What's wrong?" Zephyr asks, making Satan sigh.

"They're always doing that," he answers quietly. "Making me feel like a monster." Hearing him say that makes my heart break. At the same time, I'm incredibly disappointed in my brothers. They have all been in his position before, so they should know better than to inflict that kind of pain onto someone.

Then again, it's not like they're angels anymore. Maybe they've lost the ability to empathize with others.

"Well, I don't think you're a monster," Zephyr tells Satan. "You just need someone to spend time with you, don't you?"

"That would be nice."

"Gentlemen." The prince's voice rings throughout the room. I forgot he was in here, to be honest. "I believe we have found your new attendant."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

#obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me satan #obey me diavolo #obey me lord diavolo #obey me brothers

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theobsessedcookiefan · 9 months ago

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I had an idea but you can tell me if you like it! In poll below.

:ﾟ･*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

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Part Two. Hints of creation.

"And then what?" One of the little cookies asked as he moved forward as if to hear better. "The witch crumbled him?" one asked before another gave it a little nudge. "Of course she didn't! Witches are good duh!" The old cookie let out a sigh and smiled softly. "If you want to know what happened then please don't interrupt me please."

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"Oh, well actually this is the first time a cookie has spoken to me so um..." The witch paused for a few seconds before adding. "If I answer your questions you'll answer mine?" That was the opportunity he was waiting for! Blueberry Milk nodded quickly and with a smile replied. "Sure! Anyone who seeks knowledge is my friend." She sat back down in the chair in front of the table and rested her face in both hands. "Ok, let's start with our names, I'm Y/N and you?" she asked as she offered him a hand as if to shake before realizing the difference in sizes between both hands, at this he laughed a little and took her hand as best he could. "Don't worry, my name is Blueberry Milk Cookie and I carry the virtue of knowledge.. And that's just what I wanted to ask you about, do you know anything about SoulJams?" At this question she nodded slightly, she seemed impressed. "Indeed I do! It's one of the most powerful things ever created, unfortunately I didn't get a chance to be part of its creation, what's more, you are also one of those awesome creations, almost all of us know you for that!" Now she sounded quite excited, so much so that in a small moment of curiosity she carefully picked him up and lifted him into the air, trying to get a closer look; obviously this made him nervous and he held on tightly to her hand, just in case. "Um- be careful please, I'm kinda fragile, not like you-" She nodded and still being quite gentle inspected his appearance.

"Fascinating.. I can tell you were made with effort" She said with a smile as she set it back on the table carefully. "Heh- thank you?" He sat back, looking away with some embarrassment at having heard that uhh- compliment? It seemed the witch was really interested in him now, possibly for a good reason or so he hoped. "Well, have you managed to bake any cookies like me?" he asked rather curiously, he didn't know at what point someone was capable of creating life like that and it made him curious. "I wish I had, I'm barely in potions class! My mentor Marlene on the other hand yes, I believe she was part of your creation in fact! She knows about the composition of Souljams and everything! We might as well ask her." She suggested with another excited smile to which he responded with one of his own while nodding several times. "Yes please! I'd love to ask her several questions about me and my friends. Could you take me with her?" Y/N nodded and offered her hand for him to climb up, he hesitated but still took a big breath and climbed up, once in the witch's hand she began to walk carefully so as not to make him fall on accident or damage him in any way.

"And so... What's your life like?" She asked, feeling more than just curious, at this Blueberry Milk was thoughtful before answering. "Well I really don't know how to explain it, I have several responsibilities of course, I am necessary for our society! Or so I think, I investigate the most useful and interesting things, if I didn't do it who would? Besides several people come to me to ask about doubts they have, it's a bit tiring but at least I don't have to protect the villages like my friends." And it was true, he really did not have much free time, in fact he had escaped from his place to come to investigate, he had not even told Sweet Sugar (Eternal Sugar) that he was coming.... That probably wasn't a good decision but who could blame him? Nobody else was concerned or interested in this question, he needed to find answers to his questions and he could not ask any of his friends because they did not care, but he knew why they had been chosen consumed him inside, he wanted to possess this knowledge more than anything, he was the one who had the virtue of knowledge for something, wasn't he? He had to know everything or so he thought, obviously the contrarian knew nothing of this so she just looked at him with a curious expression. "Uh I mean.. Yeah, I'm someone pretty busy, what about you?" She let out a chuckle as she reached the tower room. "Well I'm a student, I want to get to learn about how to create life, I'm interested in how from some dough and life powder you can create something as impressive as you. It's fascinating isn't it? I mean, how do you function? How can you move? Do you have a heart? Blood? Brain I think so, you're pretty smart!" He laughed a little at the tide of questions and then answered her. "I know! I'm curious too, but I guess we do have heart and blood? I don't really know what that is-" She thought for a moment and picked up one of the pencils she had in her apron, using the tip to make a tiny wound on one of her fingers, a droplet of blood coming out of it. "That's blood!" On the other hand the blue haired cookie almost had a heart attack, for a moment there he thought she would attack him as it had been such a quick action that it left him confused. "Oh! Yes, I have that but it's not called blood, it's jam, mine is blackberry jam, which shouldn't be a surprise because of my name actually-"

Before the witch could answer a door opened, revealing another of the witches living in that tower, Y/N in a quick move hid her little companion, moving her hands behind her back so the third one wouldn't see him, as she had had such a sudden reaction she didn't have time to process who the new person was, it was her mentor! "Y/N? Aren't you supposed to be studying? I left you a big exam so you can make the love potion we will be performing tomorrow, I hope you don't fail this. You have great potential I hope you don't waste it." The younger witch shook her head and then smiled at him, she thought it would be a good idea to show Blueberry Milk as a surprise. "No miss! But you'll never guess! Remember you mentioned to me about the cookie heroes and the SoulJams you helped create?" When he heard that he stayed in his place, waiting for the signal to appear, he was quite nervous about meeting his creator. "Yes, I remember, what with that? Y/N, don't tell me you're trying to create life before you learn the basics? You know what would happen if you did that don't you? It would result in disaster." Y/N tried to speak again. "Yes teacher but-" "And besides we are trying to locate the "heroes"." This got both of their attention. "Really? The council?" Marlene nodded. "We found out it's not safe for them to have that much power, we need to find them so we can remove the SoulJams and keep the power from fusing with their bodies." Y/N took a step back, still keeping the cookie behind her and increasing the grip on him a bit as he had become alert. "And what if he power fused with their body already?" The younger girl asked, worried for her new friend's safety. "They will be crumbled and we'll create new ones, we have no choice."

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:ﾟ･*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

I was thinking of calling reader a name like Yannette!!

#cookie run #cookie run x reader #crk x reader #shadow milk cookie #TheWitchAndTheHero

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corazon-calaveras · 10 months ago

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The Crow Reboot Rant

NAH NAH NAH, WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE ERIC DRAVEN LOOK LIKE A DISCOUNT VERSION OF JARED LETTO'S JOKER?!? IMMA THROW HANDS!!! 💀🔪

There's just so much wrong about this reboot and as a fan of the original crow movie and graphic novel I cannot even begin to express how much this disappoints me.

More to rant ahead, just know it's hella long.

I recently saw and heard more news about the crow reboot and upon seeing what to expect I no longer have any interest in watching the reboot, in fact I wish the fans continue to roast the hell out of it to show the people in charge of this reboot that this is NOT what the people want or need.

Now I just want to go on and say that I have no problems with Bill Skarsgard as Eric Draven. I think he's a hella great actor with lots of potential of doing a great job at being the next crow actor, but my issue is with the writers and the people who made the overall decision to make this cult classic "appeal to modern audiences" which that quote alone was enough for me to completely abandon all hope of this movie being any good. I was already skeptical enough about the reboot and my expectations were low but THIS...this definitely made my expectations drop even lower than they already were and that's surprising to me. Honestly at this point the three crow sequels were a lot better and that's saying a lot because if y'all have seen those you'll know they weren't that good either but at least they were entertaining. 😭 (In my opinion at least, feel free to disagree on that).

It gets even better when you find out that the inspiration for reboot crow was Post Malone and Lil Peep. 💀

Like...is that what appeals to modern audiences nowadays? Was that really necessary for modern day Eric Draven? Absolutely not! The original movie and comic took place in the 90's so LEAVE IT IN THE 90's! Not everything has to be modernized for the sake of appealing to modern audiences. What modern audiences need right now are original stories with good and compelling writing (which probably won't happen any time soon since Hollywood proved to be in the middle of an imagination drought).

Sure, one can argue that the original movie wasn't completely faithful to the source material, that being the graphic novel. However, Due to the unfortunate passing of Brandon Lee during the making of the film, James O 'Barr has stated that he had finished the film as a tribute to Brandon who was a sweet and caring man and so decided to write Eric Draven to have some resemblance to Brandon in the film as a way to honor him. With that in mind, it's no wonder people are much harsher about the reboot, myself included, and find that this reboot would be an insult to not only James O 'Barr but also to Brandon. (Those who know the tragic history of The Crow graphic novel would understand why that's the case but in short it was a way for James to deal with grief).

In my opinion, the original crow film does not need a reboot or a remake. It may not be the best or perfect movie in the world but it is a cult classic and is one of the most beloved movies that holds a dear place in people's hearts. Mine included. Which is why instead of making another movie based on Brandon Lee's crow, that the other crow characters get a shot at the big screen since Eric Draven isn't the only one who gets brought back to life by a crow. I can understand how this might potentially not gain enough traction because it's not the iconic Eric Draven, but I do believe that with good writing and loyalty to the source materials, that it can be very possible to make a good and fresh crow movie without piggy backing off of an already beloved and successful film with the help of the fans who most likely have read the other comics.

In my opinion, I don't think this reboot is worth anyone's time (at least for those who are hardcore fans of the Crow franchise) and I have no hope for this whatsoever. In fact, I'm gonna go rewatch the original movie for the millionth time and reread the original graphic novel because I've already accepted the fact that any potential of getting a good crow movie is officially out the window. Not only that but the book and film are my comfort watch and reads so there's that.

For anyone who wants to hear more details about the reboot I recommend looking up articles or watch videos about it on youtube since that's where I heard the majority of the news.

Brandon Lee will forever be the best Eric Draven out there, may he rest in peace.

#the crow #the crow 1994 #eric draven #james o'barr #the crow reboot #bill skarsgård #the crow 2024 #rant post

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lucy90712 · 10 months ago

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I’ll be there for you- Pablo Gavi

A/n: this is a long one- 4.1k

Warnings: pregnancy; mentions of birth

I don't quite know how it happened as it all happened so quickly but my life just fell apart right in front of my eyes. Today has been such a rollercoaster of emotions I've gone from anxious to crying to angry then back to crying and now I just feel absolutely nothing. I've heard of people saying that you can just feel numb but I've never experienced it until today and what they say couldn't be more true I just feel nothing it's like I don't have the energy to feel anymore.

For the last week or so I haven't been feeling great and I could just tell something wasn't right but my fears were confirmed when my period was a few days late. I really didn't want to take a test as then it would become real but I knew I had to so this morning I went and got one without telling anyone. Of course when I had the courage to take the test it showed two clear lines meaning I really am pregnant. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears flowing down my face as there was so many thoughts flooding through my mind like what will my boyfriend think, how will this affect my studying and how am I going to cope with a baby. Growing up an only child means I've not had much experience with babies and I don't know much past the basics about pregnancy which makes all of this a whole lot scarier.

For the next few hours I was so in my own world that I didn't even realise the time until my boyfriend came home and I knew I had to tell him straight away just to get that out of my head. We have been together for a few years and have talked about having kids in the future but not yet so I know he won't be overly happy but hopefully he will see that something out there believes this is the right time for us. I wanted a minute to think of the right thing to say to him but he noticed that there was something up straight away. I tried to brush it off for a second but he was persistent in trying to get the truth out of me.

"I'm pregnant" I eventually said

"What?" He questioned

"I'm pregnant" I repeated

"Oh" he said bluntly

"I don't think I can do this I'm not ready for a family and I feel like I haven't been as into this relationship recently anyway" he said

"Wait so you're leaving me?" I asked

"Yeah I'm sorry I just can't do it I don't care what you do but I don't want to be part of all this like at all" he said before just walking out

With that everything got a whole lot worse. As if things weren't challenging enough I now have to do it all alone. In that moment I began cursing my decision to move to Barcelona away from my family and friends to follow my boyfriend and start school as now I have no support system and I definitely don't have the money to move back home. Most of my friends out here are from my boyfriends friend group as he introduced me to them when I moved here so even those people probably won't be here for me. Even thinking about having to do this all alone had me balling as not only is this a tough situation I also have a lot of hormones raging through my body making me even more emotional than usual.

As I was nearly drowning in my own tears my phone began to ring so I grabbed it hoping it would be my now ex boyfriend telling me he regrets his decision and actually wants to stay together. That wasn't the case though it was actually my one friend who isn't associated with my ex, Gavi. He doesn't usually phone me at all let alone at this time so I felt like I had to answer just in case he needed something or something was wrong as despite my disastrous situation other people's lives still go on. I tried to sound like I hadn't been crying and asked him if everything was alright but he noticed something was wrong straight away and told me he was coming over before hanging up.

It wasn't long before Pablo arrived and came straight into my apartment calling for me but I couldn't bring myself to get up from my position on the floor by the sofa. Once Pablo saw me he practically ran over and sat down next to me putting his arm around me to try and provide some comfort. For some reason having him by my side made me even more emotional and the tears began to flow again. Pablo then held me closer allowing me to cry into his chest which was just what I needed, he was there for me, he wasn't saying much he just provided some comfort which is all I want. He rubbed my back gently until I managed to gain control of my emotions enough to finally look at Pablo whose eyes were full of worry.

"Whenever you're ready please tell me what's going on" Pablo said

"It's a lot" I said

"That doesn't matter clearly you need to get whatever this is off your chest and I'm here to listen" he said

"I'm pregnant and y/bf/n left me saying he wants nothing to do with the baby" I finally admitted

"Wow what an asshole" Pablo whispered under his breath

"Are you ok how are you feeling?" He asked

"Right now I just feel numb I don't know what to do it's all just a lot to think about" I ranted

"Its ok I'm here for you why don't we just talk everything through" he said

After that I took a deep breath and Pablo who is usually always messing around and having fun was actually serious for once and ready to help me. He allowed me to say everything that was on my mind and bit by bit we began to figure things out. Pablo promised me that he would do everything he could to help me and even insisted that I move in with him as this apartment isn't mine. I didn't want to have to move in with Pablo but he keep insisting that I need support and to have someone around and eventually I gave in and agreed with him.

~~~~~~~~~~

A few months later

It's been a long hard few months. For pretty much my entire first trimester I spent the majority of my time laying on the sofa feeling exhausted and incredibly sick. However now that I'm approaching the halfway mark I have finally started to feel better and have been able to do a bit more. Pablo has been a godsend during all of this he's taken me to all of my appointments and done everything he possibly can to make me feel even a little bit better. On my really bad days he will spend as long as necessary sat holding my hair and rubbing my back as I throw up and when I'm tired during the day he will let me rest my head on his shoulder so I can nap. As much as those things have been nice the thing I appreciate the most is how he's been there for me mentally. When I moved in with Pablo I completely cut off my ex and anyone to do with him which was hard as it left me feeling pretty lonely but Pablo has been my rock as he's been able to help me see the positives of the situation and the right way to move forward.

Today is my 20 week scan where I should be able to find out the gender of the baby. Pablo begged me to make the scan for after his training as really wanted to be there. He's been to as many scans and appointments as he possible can but he missed the last few due to being away but he really wanted to find out the gender with me. Of course I had to oblige and make the appointment at a later time so Pablo is coming back straight after training to pick me up. Having Pablo at appointments has been nice as it makes everything slightly less daunting plus while I'm stressing he's able to actually listen to what the doctors and nurses are saying. The only downside is that all of the staff think Pablo is my boyfriend and the father of the baby and neither of us are brave enough to correct them as we don't want to have to explain the situation plus I would rather not have the judgment.

There are worse things than having people believe that Pablo's my boyfriend but it has certainly messed with my head. Since everything happened I've started to see Pablo in a new light and my feelings have drifted to beyond just friends. It's all very complicated as I can't tell whether my hormones have anything to do with my feelings plus I can't risk telling Pablo how I feel in case he doesn't feel the same and kicks me out as then I'd be truly alone. Day by day it's getting harder to keep my feelings to myself especially on days like today where Pablo is so excited to go with me to the appointment even though the baby isn't his. Pablo has treated me and the baby as though we are his the entire time which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I so badly wish that that was true but he's not mine no matter how much I think about it nothing will happen as Pablo doesn't need anything else on his plate right now.

Just as I was starting to spiral into my little dreamworld Pablo came home and helped me up as I'm starting to struggle a bit so we could head to the doctors together. Recently my bump has really started to grow making it a lot more obvious that I'm pregnant which has made me a bit insecure as I always think people are judging me when I'm in the streets. As we got in the car like always the baby started kicking like crazy so before we left I grabbed Pablo's hand and placed it on my stomach so he could feel the kicks as he mentioned how weird it must feel the other day so I wanted him to experience it.

"Wow that's so cool can you feel that all the time?" He asked

"Not all the time but it's been getting stronger recently and baby's always really active in the car and when I want to sleep" I said

"Aww so you like to keep your mama up at night already do you little one" he said to my stomach and I think I nearly exploded from the cuteness

"Oh yeah getting me ready for the months of no sleep soon" I laughed

Pablo laughed too as he started to drive towards the hospital but he kept his hand on my bump rubbing it gently which made the baby go crazy and had me feeling all sorts of things. I could tell that my cheeks were bright red and my heart was beating at a million miles an hour just because he had his hand on me. Having his hand on me made the car ride feel a million times longer but eventually we arrived at the hospital and I could begin to calm myself down so that the nurses didn't think I was dying or something.

The wait for my appointment wasn't too long so before I knew it I had the freezing cold gel on my stomach and the nurse was checking the babies development to make sure they are growing as they should be. Once the nurse had done all of the important checks she asked if I wanted to know the gender to which I obviously said yes. As I responded Pablo grabbed my hand which made me look over to see that he had the biggest smile on his face as he was so excited to find out what I was having. Looking at him only made me smile as his smile was that infectious and it made all the nerves I was feeling about being able to be a good mother disappear in an instant. Right after that the nurse happily told us that I was having a girl and we were both super happy but confused as we were sure it was a boy but clearly we were both wrong.

"Thats so exciting a little mini you" Pablo said once the nurse left

"I know I'm surprised I was sure it was a boy" I said

"Me too but you know now we have to go and buy loads of cute clothes and decorations for the nursery" Pablo said

"I'd love to but I don't have the money to buy loads of things" I admitted

"Don't you worry about that I'm happy to pay for everything and before you say anything I want to do this" he said as we were now getting back in the car

"I can't let you do that Pablo as much as I appreciate it you shouldn't spend your money on a baby that's not yours" I said

"But I want to plus I can't help but feel an attachment to the baby even if she's not genetically mine I already can't wait to meet her when she's born" Pablo admitted

"Thats so cute your going to make me cry" I choked out

"Please don't cry I love you and your little baby" Pablo was quick to say

"Wait I don't mean I love you oh who am I kidding I definitely love you and I get that nows probably not the best time to admit that but it's time I told you how I really feel" he said

"I love you too Pablo but if we are going to try this we need to take it slow" I said

"We can do whatever you want I just want to give this a go" he said

~~~~~~~~~~

Another few months later

The second half of my pregnancy has been so much better than my first Pablo and I started dating taking things slowly of course but I've never been happier in my entire life than I have been the last few months. Pablo has been so good to me I thought he was super sweet before but now he is an angel he literally waits on me hand and foot and does anything he can for me to make my life easier. Everyday when he comes home he takes over and does the chores even though I tell him I'm fine to do it and then every night he gives me a massage as I'm at the stage of pregnancy where everything hurts. He has also single-handedly put together the nursery, we picked out the colour and furniture together and then Pablo put it all together and even decorated the room which turned out perfectly. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend than Pablo I thought things would be difficult at some points as I still have a very obvious tie to my ex even if we don't speak but that hasn't bothered him at all and at this point he might as well be my daughters father.

Yesterday was my due date so I have officially reached the point of pregnancy where I could go into labour any minute. Luckily Pablo has a few days off so I'm kind of hoping that I go into labour soon so that he can be with me because I really don't want to give birth alone. This morning my back has been hurting more than usual which I have been told is signs of early labour but that could last a hours or even days before turning into active labour. I want to be done with being pregnant so badly that since we woke up I've been getting Pablo to help me do things that induce labour. I have gone up and down the stairs about a million times and we went on a walk so that I could walk with one foot in the road and one on the pavement as that supposedly helps too.

Someone recommended eating spicy foods so I sent Pablo out to get anything spicy for me to eat but once he'd left the back pain I had started turning into more like cramps all over which was a bit more painful. When I have pain I have been bouncing on a yoga ball so I got up from the sofa and all of a sudden felt liquid rush down my legs which I knew straight away was my waters breaking. Until that moment I'd been feeling quite calm about giving birth but now that it's actually happening I'm starting to freak out as so far it hurts more than I thought it would and my waters have only just broken. Once I calmed down a bit I grabbed my phone and called Pablo straight away as right now I just want him home so we are ready to go when things get more intense plus I need some support.

"Hey love is everything ok I'm just getting to the store" Pablo answered completely clueless

"Forget that I need you home like right now my waters have just broken" I said

"What?" He questioned

"I'm going into labour you idiot please just come home" I yelled

"Oh god I'm on my way I'll be as quick as I can" he said

"Thank you and I'm sorry for yelling I'm just a overwhelmed" I apologised feeling bad

"It's ok love I'll be there soon to help" Pablo said before hanging up

It felt like forever before Pablo was home but in reality it was only about 15 minutes until he burst through the door and ran over to be by my side. Just as he got to me I had another contraction so I instinctively grabbed Pablo's hand and squeezed it to help with the pain. As the pain began to fade away I loosened my grip until I was letting go of Pablo's hand who was looking at me with fear in his eyes clearly worrying about me. He helped me sit down as I'd been standing up walking around and got me some water because he didn't know what else to do. I was trying to keep myself calm as I know that's the best thing to do but seeing how worried Pablo was was making me feel bad.

"What do you need me to do amor?" he asked

"Everything is already in the car right" I said

"Yes everything is in the car and the car seat is installed too" he said

"Ok then I just need you to be here and time my contractions as when they reach five minutes apart we need to go to the hospital" I explained

"I can do that but please tell me if there's anything else you want" he said

My contractions stayed quite far apart for a long time but eventually things started to progress and my contractions became more painful and were getting closer together. By the time they were consistently 5 minutes apart it had been nearly 9 hours and it was pitch black outside. Usually at this time Pablo and I would be sleeping but instead we are both wide awake and he's helping me to the car so we can go to the hospital. It really started to feel real once we got in the car as the next time we're home there will be a baby with us in the backseat. There was no time for me to panic though as a contraction hit just as I was beginning to spiral which took my mind off everything but the pain I was feeling. I needed to hold Pablo's hand as for some reason being able to squeeze it makes me feel better and of course he obliged but he looked a bit nervous about having to drive one handed. He drove with a mixture of extreme care and speed as he wanted to be careful and I wanted him to get to the hospital before I have the baby in the car.

Once we arrived at the hospital everything happened so quickly we were given a room and then what felt like millions of people came in and out to check on me. I was hooked up to all sorts of monitors one to measure baby's heartbeat and another to show when I was having contractions which felt like a cruel joke as now not only could I feel them I got to see a visual representation too. Pablo was trying to be as helpful as possible but there wasn't much he could do other than let me squeeze his hand and rant at him about how much pain I was in. He was such a sweetheart no matter how much I was yelling as he was putting a cold flannel on my forehead and giving me ice chips which were weirdly nice to eat all while giving me encouraging words.

We were there for another few hours before I was fully dilated and ready to begin pushing. By this point I'd been in labour for over 12 hours and was completely exhausted so when I was told to push I wasn't sure I could manage it with the very little amount of energy I had left. Luckily I had a minute while the nurses were getting themselves ready so I looked up at Pablo hoping to gain some motivation and I was met with his beautiful smile which really did give me a boost.

"Come on amor I know you can do it, you're so strong, it will all be worth it when she's here in just a few minutes" Pablo encouraged as I was pushing

"It hurts so much and I'm so tired I don't think I can do it anymore" I panted trying to catch my breath

"I know carino it will all be over soon but you have to keep going for a bit longer I know you can do it" he said

"Thats it you're doing so well" Pablo continued

A few seconds later cries began to fill the room which was the best thing I've ever heard as it meant my baby was here and ok. The nurses then placed her on my chest and I got to see her beautiful face for the first time which was a truly magical moment and something I'll never forget. Tears begin falling down my face as I was so overwhelmed with happiness but they were quickly wiped away by Pablo who when I looked at him also had tears in his eyes which only made me more emotional. It truly felt like this was our little family however unorthodox this was our family and blood relation is never going to make a difference in that. Pablo was allowed to cut the umbilical cord and then the baby was taken from me so she could be weighed and have all the other tests they need to do done.

"I'm so proud of you you did amazing" Pablo said softly

"Thank you but I couldn't have done it without you" I said

"Don't say that I did nothing I just stood here, literally" he laughed

"Well that's exactly what I needed" I said

"Pablo I know this might seem a lot and you can definitely take some time to think about it but how would you feel about me putting you on the birth certificate and giving her your last name because she's more yous than that dickhead who provided his dna" I said

"I don't even need to think about that I would love her to be mine" he smiled

Suddenly I felt so at ease knowing that I had Pablo to support me and that he was happy to raise my little girl as if she were his own as that had been on my mind for the last 9 months. Pablo truly meant it when that night he told me he'd be here for me and despite everything I couldn't be happier with how it all turned out.

#pablo gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #gavi imagines #gavi imagine #pablo gavi #football imagine #gavi

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