#in her what. maybe not even 40s? that's horrifying

[elainemorisi]

I do think that the single most chilling thoughtless/accidental piece of timing in all of DS9 has got to be that Ziyal was conceived like, firmly within the same year as Kira Meru's (incredibly untimely and implausible) death

[ginnsbaker]

All Of Your Pieces (2 - Liar! Liar!)

Chapter Summary: You wake up one morning compelled to say the truth and nothing but the truth. Wanda seizes this opportunity to ensure everything remains under her control. Meanwhile, Jimmy and Darcy finally discover what happened to Agent Monica Rambeau. Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader Chapter word count: 3k+ | Chapter Tags: Manipulation

A/N: Billy is my favorite twin, if that isn't obvious already :P // More author's notes here.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

It doesn’t require a calendar to track the days here in Westview.

It's the kind of repetition that settles over suburban life, where dates fade into insignificance and days blur into a seamless loop, distinguishable only by the changing seasons. But even the current season—fall—is as predictable in its passage as ever, like storybook weather in its perfection. The birds are always chirping, the sun rises promptly at 6:40 every morning—never a minute early or a second late—and it never rains. Just endless clear skies, day after day, until the sun sets at five.

You've been chewing on this odd feeling ever since you and Wanda arrived in this part of New Jersey, but today, there's something extra. You can't pin it down, just that it's…there. Today feels different—more than usual—and you didn’t really get it until breakfast, when your mouth slipped past your usual tact with the kids.

“Mommy, do you like it?” Tommy asks, his eyes big and hopeful as he holds up a crayon drawing of what looks like the family standing outside a perfect little house. 

Perfect. Honestly, you’re getting pretty tired of everything being so perfect around here.

“It's...very colorful,” you start, the usual praise ready on your tongue, but what comes out instead is, “Though it's kind of all over the place, isn’t it? Maybe you could try to stay inside the lines a bit more.”

Speaking aloud is like sending an email: once it's out there, it's out there for good. Even so, an email would have been the better option. At least then, you could just hack into Tommy’s account—if he ever figures out how to set one up—and erase your blunder for good.

Could having a magical wife somehow save you from this mess?

It’s too late though. Tommy's face crumples, and Wanda doesn't seem keen on throwing you a lifeline, just a dirty look from across the table as you sip your morning coffee.

“But if you’re going for an abstract—” you start, but your son is already sulking off to his room. 

Billy digs into his cereal, blissfully unaware. Wanda, on the other hand, looks as if she's ready to rip open a portal to another realm and hurl you out of this one.

That can’t be good.

“You really upset him,” she says, arms crossing over her chest. “He was so proud of that drawing.”

“I know, I feel awful about it,” you groan, burying your face in your hands.  Seeing your genuine remorse, Wanda eases up, giving you a moment to stew in your guilt before she comes back to the table with a stack of pancakes.

“Here, eat up,” she says, setting them down in front of you.

You pick up your fork, cutting into the stack. They look perfect—golden brown, with the butter melting just right. You take a bite, and before you can stop yourself, the words are out.

“They're a bit dry,” you blurt out, instantly regretting your words. But once you start, you can't seem to stop. “And this maple syrup... it tastes kind of artificial.” 

Wanda gasps. “Excuse me?”

“Shit—”

“Language, Y/N!” she snaps, but it's too late, the curse is already out there, floating in the air like a bad smell. 

In the next moment, something strange happens—your lips tingle, and suddenly you can't feel your mouth. Alarmed, you touch your face, finding smooth skin where your lips should be. You try to protest, but only muffled noises emerge. Fear surges as you point frantically at your face. You attempt to scream, but no sound comes out.

Seeing your flustered pantomime, Wanda’s face goes from angry to horrified. With a wave of her hand, your mouth is back in its place, and you’re gasping, both of you staring at each other, not believing what just happened. Meanwhile, Billy is giggling, clapping his tiny hands together, and gleefully repeating the S-word you accidentally let slip earlier. 

You and Wanda just continue to stare at each other in shock, but then you glance at Billy, his innocent delight completely oblivious to the fact he’s saying something he shouldn’t, and you see the corners of Wanda’s mouth start to twitch. A moment later, she’s laughing unabashedly, and before you know it, you’re doing the same. 

Despite the peculiarities of your life here in Westview, you don't think you've ever been this content. Before Wanda, the idea of having your own family—your own kids, two no less—seemed unthinkable. You never imagined you'd have a wife, a house in a quiet suburb, or hear one of your sons swear for the first time. Westview is far from normal, but then again, so is your family. As you watch Wanda's laughter taper into soft giggles, you think it's impossible to love her any more than you already do.

Wanda made this all conceivable for you.

“Sorry, honey,” you say, though still a bit shaken by the ordeal. “I didn't mean to be so rude.”

Wanda looks even more remorseful than you feel—which makes sense, considering she did erase your mouth, however briefly.

“And I probably shouldn't have... you know, removed your mouth,” she murmurs, guiltily picking at her cuticles.

Admittedly, it was terrifying—one of the scariest experiences you've ever had. You certainly don't want a repeat. It makes you slightly wary of your wife, but your love for Wanda outweighs your fear. Standing beside one of the most powerful beings in the universe takes courage, and you've built up plenty over the years together. You're made for this—for her, for this kind of love.

“Apology accepted,” you say, mustering a weak smile.

Wanda's face floods with relief, then quickly contorts into worry. “What’s with you today?”

“I can't seem to lie,” you confess, realizing there's no easy way to skirt the truth. “I don't know what's happening, but I just can't stop saying exactly what's on my mind.”

She stares at you, confused and a little hurt. “What do you mean you can’t lie today? So, you’re usually lying?”

Before you can smooth that over, Billy looks up from his cereal, fixing you with that stern look that’s pure Wanda. “Mommy, lying is bad.”

Wanda’s gaze softens as she looks at Billy, then back at you, the seriousness returning. “Billy, why don’t you go brush your teeth and check on your brother? Your mommy and I need to talk for a little bit.”

“Okay, mama.”

Billy scampers off, and you feel your stature shrink under your wife's gaze, suddenly feeling every bit the child.

“What’s this about not being able to lie?” Wanda asks once it’s just the two of you.

You shake your head. “Look, it’s not that I usually lie, but today, I can’t even if I wanted to. It’s like a—a truth filter permanently switched off.”

Wanda takes a few moments to mull over your words. “Oh…” she starts, sounding half-convinced. “Maybe it’s stress,” she throws out after a beat. “You’ve been working really hard lately, haven’t you? Perhaps your mind is just overwhelmed and you need a mental day off.”

You had thought of that, but the whole situation seemed too weird for such a simple explanation. Then again, maybe seeing shadows where there aren't any is just another stress symptom. So you let it slide.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I’ll see if I can call in sick next week,” you mumble, trying to sound cheerful about the prospect of a break.

Wanda comes around the table and cups your face in her hands. You let her pinch your cheeks together, feeling both stubborn and a bit sorry for yourself. It's silly, but all you want is for Wanda to coddle you and make you feel better, not to dish out logical reasons for why you’re not yourself today. 

“Well, if you're stuck with the truth, let's have some fun with it,” Wanda says.

You swallow hard, aware that any question she might ask now would either please or upset her—and there seems to be no middle ground.

“Uhm, honey, I don’t think—”

“Do you love me?”

You smirk at her; that’s an easy one. “More than anything else.”

“Only me?”

You laugh at her silly follow-up. This reminds you of the early days of your courtship when Wanda was a bottomless well of need. You didn't mind at all, knowing she needed to hear it as often as you made her feel it. Initially, you were a bit bothered, wondering if your actions weren't speaking loudly enough for her to trust you. Eventually, it became less frequent, until the question turned into a statement—You love me—to which you responded with your own: You love me too. Since then, it quickly became how you say ‘I love you’ to each other.

“Only you. I'd sooner die than love someone else,” you confidently tell her.

Her smile in return is a beautiful riddle—a riddle you can’t figure out. 

“Wanda, I—”

“Do you like living here?”

“Sometimes.” The words slip out before you can think, and you're relieved to realize that your feelings about Westview are honestly not all negative. “It’s a nice town. Quiet and cheap.”

Wanda's face does something subtle. You can't quite read her reaction, but it's clear she has more questions when she doesn't park on your answer, instead moving on to something else. 

“Do you... do you remember how we got here?"

You blink at her. Initially, the question seems a bit absurd. But as you try to formulate a response, “Of course. We got married at…” you stall, your brain blanking on the when and where of your own wedding. “...then we moved into this house last…”

You try to pin down the date, but it slips through your mind like sand.

“Wanda?” A laugh escapes you, but there's a nervous edge to it. “Why can’t I remember any of the details?”

The last thing she says before flicking her wrist is, “Because you’re not supposed to.” But even that slips away, scrubbed clean from your memory by Wanda’s sweeping hand.

–

“Jimmy?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I found her.”

Jimmy hurried over to the tight corner of their camp where Darcy had practically set up shop for the past few days. Since the signals were first picked up, she's taken charge of monitoring the transmissions, her main focus being to locate Agent Monica Rambeau. They've already confirmed that many of Wanda's bizarre, sitcom-style characters are, in fact, real residents of Westview, somehow trapped inside whatever anomaly Wanda seems to be in the center of.

“That’s Monica, right?” Darcy points at the grainy image on the retro television set they've been using to watch the town's activities. The broadcasts come through at odd hours, which makes every second of surveillance crucial. 

Jimmy leans in closer, squinting at the screen where a woman bearing a striking resemblance to Monica appears. “It sure looks like her,” he confirms.

The woman onscreen is dressed in distinctly 70s fashion—a bold, patterned blouse with wide lapels tucked into high-waisted bell-bottoms. Her hair is styled in voluminous, bouncy curls that softly frame her face, completing the look that is so far removed from the S.W.O.R.D. uniform Jimmy last saw her in.

“I wonder what character she’s playing in the show…” Darcy muses.

A handful of nearby crew quietly look on as Monica steps out of a Hornet, a stack of papers clutched in her hand, and strides confidently toward one of those cookie-cutter houses lining the street—yours and Wanda's.

“Stay frosty, Monica,” Darcy mutters under her breath, staring unblinkingly at the screen as they watch her knock gently on the door.

It’s Wanda who greets her with a guarded smile. “Hello, can I help you?” she asks, sizing up the stranger on her doorstep.

“Hi, there. I’m Geraldine. You must be Wanda,” Monica says. Jimmy and Darcy exchange a look, both arriving at the same conclusion: whatever spell has ensnared the other residents, Monica appears to be under it too.

“Do I know you?” Wanda asks, her teeth gritted in what she hopes passes for a smile. But Wanda, she’s got a tell. It’s never hard to see when she’s faking it. The sitcom laugh track of this Westview tries to spin it as humor, but it’s clear to anyone—she’s not thrilled about Geraldine’s arrival at all.

“Oh, I’m sorry, has Y/N not mentioned who I am?” Geraldine asks mildly,  like she’s bringing up some small, casual detail—which, for Wanda, it isn’t.

“Honey, who's at the door?” Your voice drifts from the living room just before you step into view, crunching on an apple. When you spot the visitor, your face lights up with recognition, puzzling Wanda even more.

“Evening, ma'am,” Geraldine nods at you with a polite smile.

Wanda keeps darting glances between you and Geraldine, trying to piece together what's going on. And what’s frustrating her is you don’t seem privy at all to her disconcertment.

“I told you to just call me Y/N,” you admonish with a light grin. “What brings you here?”

“W-Who is she?” Wanda jumps in, keeping up her charade of a pleasant surprise.

“It’s Geraldine,” you tell Wanda, expecting her to recognize the name. Her blank, slightly annoyed expression forces you to jog your memory and that’s when it hits you that your wife has no idea what you’re talking about. “She’s my new assistant. Didn’t I tell you?” you say sheepishly.

“No, honey, you certainly did not,” Wanda replies, her smile stretched a bit too tight. She turns to Geraldine. “Aren’t offices usually closed by five?”

“They sure are, Wanda,” Geraldine replies cheerfully. It bothers Wanda how Geraldine uses ‘ma’am’ for you but casually drops her first name like they're old friends.

“So, why are you here?” Wanda asks, no longer bothering to hide her irritation.

“Oh, just dropping off some reports that Y/N needed to review tonight. Urgent stuff, you know?” Geraldine holds up the stack of papers in her hand as proof.

“Yikes,” Darcy winces at the tension practically leaking through the screen, feeling that deep cringe of secondhand embarrassment for Monica's obliviousness to Wanda's ire.

Fortunately for your assistant, you position yourself between her and Wanda, intercepting just as your wife’s temper begins to flare. You remember Wanda’s warm, almost syrupy kindness with Agnes when she first appeared, which only makes her sudden cold front toward Geraldine unreasonable.

“I completely forgot about those reports. Thanks for bringing them over, Geraldine,” you say, nudging her toward the exit. “See you Monday!”

Then, you close the door before she can add anything else, sparing both women from each other.

“So, why haven't you mentioned Geraldine before?” Wanda asks, not sparing another second to grill you about your new assistant.

You frown, thinking back. “I thought I did.”

Wanda looks at you for a long moment, her expression inscrutable. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you’re not telling me?” she demands, her eyes searching yours.

“Uh-oh, trouble in paradise,” Darcy sing-songs, stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth. Jimmy reaches over, trying to sneak a handful, but she swats him away.

You give her a lopsided smile, doing your best to charm your way out of the situation. The compulsive honesty from earlier isn't nagging at you anymore, but really, there's no need to sugarcoat anything in this case.

“Sounds like someone's a little jealous,” you tease lightly. And there it is again—that distant chorus of an audience, laughing on cue. You really need to talk to Wanda about this; it could be linked to all the experiments she's been doing with her powers.

Wanda barks out a forced laugh right into your smirking face. “Jealous? Me? There's no way I'm jealous of anyone, especially not Geraldine.”

“Then why did you look like you wanted to throw her out yourself when she showed up?”

Wanda's smile fades a tad, then she just shrugs. “Because she was interrupting our family dinner time. That's all.”

Normally, you'd draw this out until she admits she's jealous, but that could take all night. Right now, all you want is to kiss your beautiful wife, the only one you see. It's getting late, and not being able to touch her all day is driving you a little mad with want.

“Fine, you're not jealous,” you whisper, moving in, wrapping your arms around her waist. “Why would you be? You’re the prettiest, smartest, most amazing woman anyone could ask for.”

Wanda melts into you almost instantly. “You love me.”

“You love me too,” you say before leaning in to peck her lips. She hums happily against your lips, but just then, you hear the boys complaining about being hungry. Sharing a smile, you both head back to sort out dinner.

The episode ends, credits roll, and Darcy groans, tossing her head back. “No way. I need more of this,” she huffs, stabbing her finger at the screen. “They're perfect together. Shame Y/N’s supposedly dead. I hate spoilers.”

“She doesn’t look dead to me from here,” Jimmy says.

“My theory? That’s not actually her. I bet Wanda or someone did something to make a rando look like Y/N.”

“You think?”

Darcy nods. “With all the surreal stuff happening here? Yeah, I'd put money on it, dude.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Jimmy concedes. “Anyway, it’s a relief to see Agent Rambeau’s alive and kicking.”

“As Geraldine,” Darcy reminds him. “I wonder who chooses their names for them. Back to Y/N, what did that Howard guy have to say about Y/N being dead but so alive in Westview?”

“It’s Hayward,” Jimmy corrects her with a sigh. “He doesn’t seem interested in her or anyone else trapped inside. He’s more interested in the energy field surrounding the town.”

“And their boys?” Darcy adds, not listening to Jimmy’s rant. “We don’t have any public record of their true identities in Westview, right?”

Jimmy gives her a sidelong glance. “No records, no data. As far as Westview’s concerned, they just… appeared.”

“Typical,” she mutters, jotting down notes without looking away from the TV's static, hoping there’s a bonus episode or something.

But the screen stays blank, nothing but static for hours on end.

–

After hours of making love, Wanda lies next to you, watching you sleep. She’s used her powers on you before, but never here, never without your consent since you became a couple. Casting the hex was the easy part, the lying to you—not so much. Acting like she didn't know what was troubling you had hurt her more than she let on. 

She wanted to check if you were still happy here, still content, or if doubts were starting to creep in. And knowing you—the real you—you'd probably lie to Wanda just to keep her happy, just to ensure she has everything she wants. You've always prioritized her needs over your own, always stepping aside to let her shine. She wants the same for you, but you always manage to outdo her in every act of self-sacrifice.

When you started asking her about the exact dates of the wedding you thought you two actually had, it confirmed you still had no idea why you’re here, or what she’s done. She was relieved, honestly, because it meant she could stop forcing you to tell the truth, a spell she’d put on you out of desperation more than distrust.

She isn't sure how long this will last, just that it might be the most happiness she'll ever know, even if it's a delicate, fleeting kind. How did she even do this? Wanda doesn’t even know. It just happened—like a rose that has sprouted off a barren land. And now, despite having everything she's ever wanted, there’s always this nagging fear that it could all fall apart.

Quietly, she makes a promise to herself to fix things. She promises to you and her boys, she’ll find a way to make this life real, something that won’t just vanish like everything else she’s ever loved.

[varpusvaras]

Winnick will come this close to writing a good, rightfullly angry character with BPD/CPTSD and ruin it by making him his conception of "a dangerous psychopath" because dc's understanding of mental illness begins and ends with the joker.

I like that Jason was angry i'm not gonna lie I enjoy the "bad victim who doesn't accept that they were a necessary sacrifice, who doesn't think what happened to them is something they should be expected to tolerate, like fuck your greater good, you weren't there, it isn't worth this." I think even looking at Jason's past before getting adopted he has reason to be angry, like he is poor af and starving and he had to take care of his mom and his dad is in jail because he couldn't see another way to provide and he gets trafficked -he has so many reasons to be angry. And he's not, and I love jaybin, but I think there are so many ways and things he can be angry about without it feeling classist. And I love that he can't emotionally regulate, that he has so clearly BPD/CPTSD because why the fuck would he not, have you seen his life (and that's not even counting the csa hc, which i am because willfully and consistently implying csa and then not addressing it/denying it feels like feeding into a culture of taboo that ruins lives and getting away with covert victim-blaming at the same time). The issue is that they lack finesse or any kind of understanding of anger. The think anger is a personality trait. They think angry = evil. They think being angry means you're violent at and about everything, that you shoot indiscriminately even though you've known better since you were a kid, that you're suddenly treating women like shit (which, wtf seriously) which okay maybe THEY treat women shitty for no reason when they're angry, but that'd be more of a them problem I'd say. Their portrayal of anger is classist because their conception of emotions hasn't evolved since fucking Descartes. Think anger = bad = poor and not only doesn't it occur to them that this is classist, they so instinctively assign moral value to the concepts of poor and angry that they don't realise it and just conceptualise poor=angry and end up with incredibly classist portrayals of anger. You can write characters that are mentally ill and violent without being ableist, you can write characters that are poor and angry without being classist, but that requires a level of respect for people, introspection, humility willingness to learn about the sensitive topics you are exploring that is simply not accessible to Winnick and so many other dc writers.

And here comes my very hot take that I'm too cowardly to say off anon: the pit shouldn't have healed Jason's malnutrition. Like, outside of canon I love big jay, I love big men who are emotionally vulnerable and need comfort etc. but in canon? It just comes off as another way to adultify Jason, and make the horrible things that happen to him acceptable. Jason "sleeping with Talia because he is fucked up about Bruce" because they both look like adults until you realise this is actually just rape and you can't put any responsibility of Talia taking advantage of the kid under her care (very ooc of course) on the child himself. Jason fighting Mia looking like a 40 years old beating up a teenage girl when they're the same damn age. Fucking Ethiopia 2.0. And Jason's murders as well, for the matter. Like don't get me wrong the duffle bag of doom is an iconic villain move, but it's just that: a massive shock effect and a "psychopathic" move. We shouldn't need Jason beheading anyone to be horrified, because just one murder, if written correctly, should be enough. A child killing someone is a terrible thing. A child being put in a position where they think killing someone is the only solution to ending suffering (thinking about the Garzonas case) is a terrible thing. A kid trying to kill his murderer (because fuck his death has to matter it has to) and only begging to be allowed it should be horrifying. Jason, with his unhealed malnutrition making him look a couple of years smaller and younger than his physical age, should look his mental age. It should be impossible to look away from the reality of what he is: a traumatized teenager who wasn't allowed to grow up. And he has a gun. This is already a horror story.

Make utrh!Jason a villain if you must, but have the guts to sit with it. Don't shove the fact that he was a hero and a victim under the rug because it's uncomfortable. Sit with the unease that sometimes someone is doing something bad and is suffering a lot, and maybe they're doing the bad thing because they don't know how to survive the suffering, and suddenly it's not easy separating hero from villain from victim. Your imaginary lines in the sand will not protect you from the crude reality of the complicated and shitty situations you have chosen to depict; you open the can of worms now you can't look away and let the worms roam free just because you're squeamish.

How does it feel to be psychic and be in my head and write part of my essay on Jason for me? Fuck, I have so much to say about this but I need a good night of sleep to formulate it correctly. Look for a longer answer tomorrow, but in the meantime, everyone sit down and look at this and look at it hard. Thank you.

[redflagshipwriter]

Halfa Cass 11 pt 1

masterpost

They had a teensy bit of a war council about the new problem when Danny came back from work.

“On the bright side, they did send someone to take away Brick,” Danny said optimistically. He tried, anyway. He had a grim and depressing certainty that he was going to have to do something drastic and violent to solve this problem. That sucked. It sucked so hard. He looked at his knees. “But. Yeah. They probably will come after you to make me make some dumb ugly guns or whatever.”

“Okay,” Jazz said calmingly, “Every problem has solutions, Danny.” 

…He scrunched up his face. He didn’t outright argue but he didn’t really see a great solution off hand.

Jazz’s big brain was clearly churning through the angles. She went quiet for a while, and then broke the silence in a thoughtful tone. “We could theoretically just kill the mob. All of them.” She looked up at the water stained ceiling and mouthed something that might be calculations. How many mob members she thought there might be? A plan to do this?

Danny blinked at her from his perch on the kitchen counter, hunched under the cupboard in a way that made him feel secure. “I thought this was going to go the other way. Like, with you telling me not to overreact.” He watched his big sister with a sort of horrified fascination.

Jazz waved that away with a hand. “I am not starting over again. I’m halfway through with my Gen Eds.” The dark smudges under her eyes looked even deeper in the shitty artificial lighting of their apartment. “The problem with that is that I only make about 1200 a month, and at that rate, we will never get you your identification.” She scowled and dug her fingers onto the tabletop as if she was going to squeeze cooperation out of it by force. “We sort of need that income source to get you into university on time. It’s important for your social development to get you back around your age mates sooner rather than later.”

He raised a hand like he had a question in class. “I thought the problem with that was going to be that murder is bad,” Danny said hesitantly. He was used to Jazz being the voice of morality. Were they doing something different now?

“The worst thing that happens to them is that they have to live near Skulker,” Jazz said waspishly. “Anyway, it’s on them for trying to make you build weapons. They’re the rude ones. They don’t get to throw off my twenty year plan.”

…Danny pinched his lips together to avoid the petty correction that they wouldn’t be living near Skulker, per se. Fair enough. The whole life or death thing did feel a bit less serious when you hung out with lots of dead people and they were just, like, people. Murder was, like, a conversation from a meat existence to a goo existence. It wasn’t nice, but it also wasn’t nice to threaten people’s sisters. 

“Speaking of, I need to get to work so that I have my perfect attendance record for a good recommendation for the next job.” Jazz scrubbed at her face with the back of a hand and then dragged it down, squishing her cheek. “Do you want me to bring back breakfast?”

Yes.

“No,” Danny lied. He shimmied down off the counter and into his shoes. “I’ll walk you there. I’m sick of being inside. Maybe I’ll pick up groceries.”

Jazz snorted and rolled her eyes, but she grabbed her bag without making fun of him. He walked with her down cold, filthy sidewalks and waved goodbye on the street across from her building. Danny pretended not to worry. She did him the favor of not pointing out that he was definitely going to come back at 4:30 am to walk her home. 

Danny locked the door when he got back in, but he felt kinda dumb about it. 

If this mob or gang or whatever (was there a difference?) knew where he lived and wanted in, the door was not going to keep them out. Maybe he should just leave it unlocked so that they didn’t bust it open and break the lock, actually. A lock was what, 40 bucks? He didn’t want to have to replace that.

He went back and unlocked it on that basis. Then he screwed up his face to think.

…There wasn’t really a reason for them to come. He hadn’t made them mad yet. It would be different once they came back and he said he really wasn’t going to make them any weapons. 

Danny locked it anyway and then set a timer for 4 in the morning. It was early for him to turn in but he grabbed the pillow off of the shelf and put it back on the sofa anyways. Hopefully he’d get to sleep like, right away.

[zivazivc]

what's your headcanon about the bergens keeping the trolls as prisoners?

OHOHOHOHO! fair warning, my headcanons tend to be really dark and this is no exception.

I'm not typing this anew, I'm just pasting two blocks of text I sent to a friend via tumblr messenger on two different occasions, so it might feel a bit disjointed while reading:

block of text one:

okay basically in my hc trollstice is also a once a year thing but it’s not barbaric in the sense that on that day they let the bergens into the cage and they just go ham catching trolls left and right. in my hc king peppy and chef actually have a fucked up agreement where chef shows up a few weeks/days before trollstice on a particular year and tells him how many trolls she needs that year and then the trolls pick that year’s victims by lot (only trolls who are 40 and older participate (with a few exceptions like obvs the king, but also rosiepuff but more on that some other time)) (also the age limit used to be much higher at the very beginning but they had to adjust to their population growing smaller). they implemented this to keep the kids safe and also to kinda force the population to reproduce more, because everyone starts having kids young bc they want to see them grow up before there’s a chance that they can get picked for the next trollstice (it’s also why jd and freesia we’re already thinking of starting a family at 18) ANYWAY during all this the trolls have been secretly digging the escape tunnels for years, and they are getting close but they keep pushing the date back because of cave ins or other setbacks. ANYWAY the bergen king has a baby son who will be old enough for his very first trollstice in a few years, and the chef being a demon spawn proposes that the prince’s very first troll should be a princess. king peppy and everyone is horrified because viva is still young and he tries arguing that she’s the only heir to the throne. So then Chef is like “then make a new princess for the prince, you still have two years time”. SO THEN the king is forced to have poppy (hence why she’s so much younger than viva 🙃) but the trolls are still all horrified of the idea that the bergens would eat a child so they collectively start working extra hard in the tunnels and they manage to finish them just in time for the prince’s first trollstice…….

this would also explain why chef was so confident about where baby poppy was located at the last trollstice at the beginning of the first movie when she walked into the cage and knew which pod to grab - it all had to be planned in advance.

AND there being no “old” trolls would also explain why so much life wisdom and knowledge about the outside world managed to disappear during the time the trolls were imprisoned. no grandmas or grandpas to pass the knowledge on.

.

.

block of text two:

in my hc rosiepuff isn't the brothers’ grandma but is actually their great or maybe even their great great grandma, who was alive when the bergens arrived. she was from a family of like “biologists” who studied plants and fungi and knew how to take anything in their natural surroundings and use it as food or to make medicine. they were like witch doctors or folk healers, something in those lines. rosiepuff was pretty young when the bergens arrived and by the time the bergens and trolls implemented trollstice and the rules about picking who gets eaten, she was the only one left from her family. and the troll king at the time chose to excuse/prohibit her from participating in trollstice in the hopes of her passing on what was left of her family’s knowledge about wild plants because they will need it when they escape and will have to survive in the wild and build their society from scratch. so rosiepuff was basically the wise elder at the troll tree and she also drilled her knowledge into all her children and grandchildren and this is why branch and the other four were able to survive so well on their own. especially branch, who lived alone with her for a few years before she died and just hyperfocused on her teachings and his promise to build a bunker. the reason she died the way she did is that chef was experimenting with a new recipe for the bergen prince’s first trollstice so she quickly popped into the cage the day before trollstice and just snatched the first troll she could get her hands on… she basically died just the day before the trolls escaped. :( which is also why clay didn’t find out about it (in my hc clay didn’t escape the troll tree the way jd, spruce and floyd did)

[spale-vosver]

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A CHAPPELL ROAN HATE POST. I LOVE HER MUSIC AND HOPE SHE KEEPS MAKING IT

With that said, what sticks out to me most in her "I hate both sides, I'm so embarrassed" statement is that the communities who would be most harmed by a second Trump presidency -- queer people and POC -- are the same people from whom she takes creative inspiration, but she refuses to recognize or even acknowledge the real danger they are in.

It's obvious to the trained eye, but much of her stylistic choices are derived from drag , specifically drag queens (who are typically and who historically have been queer people of color, in particular Black people.)

Not convinced? Here's a picture of the famous drag queen Divine

And here's a picture of Chappell Roan

Chappell Roan is also incredibly successful; her album The Rise And Fall Of A Midwest Princess was the #1 best selling vinyl album in August, and she plays for massive crowds.

Meanwhile, the communities she takes inspiration from often aren't as lucky. Nearly half of Latino transgender adults live in poverty, and about 40% of Black transgender adults live in poverty . Of the 59 transgender people murdered in hate crimes in 2022, 83% of them were people of color, and 54% were Black transgender women.

(This is absolutely not to deny that white cis queer people face harassment -- on the contrary, Roan herself has faced catcalling, stalking, and now has to employ a security team; in her own words, "so lame*. I'm incredibly glad she has security, but also recognize that being able to have security against stalking is in itself a privilege. I digress.)

Now, back to the dangers of a Trump presidency for these communities: I'm sure many of you have heard of Project 2025/whatever they're calling it now, but the tl;dr is that it's a several hundred page document that outlines how Trump should use his second presidency to transform America into an autocratic Christian nationalist state. Not good. You can read it for yourself here. Trump has, multiple times, claimed that he has no idea what it is, but he's very close with several of the key organizers, and, given his track record, is probably lying out his ass.

Among the many horrifying things included in this document (total abortion bans, mass deportation, etc) are plans to completely gut trans rights in the United States, including cutting Medicare funding from hospitals who provide gender-affirming care to adolescents. It would also outlaw "transgender ideology" and provide federal funding for research on anti-trans conversion therapy.

Anyone, anyone could see that a Trump presidency would be absolutely disastrous for trans rights if any of these policies are passed.

But Chappell Roan, the well-off, white, cis Midwesterner?

She's "so embarrassed" by what's going on and "doesn't have a side", effectively throwing the very people whose labor she built her career on under the bus for...what? Leftist virtue signaling? Self-soothing?

Sure, she dedicated her VMA win to them for "fueling pop" , but a dedication won't protect them from hate crimes, or put food on the table, or prevent anti-trans legislation.

And maybe I'm not the right person to say all this, as I'm a white trans man, but it feels very transactional -- I take your culture and get famous, then you don't get my material support because I'm, like, so embarrassed by the neolibs.

Idk. Much to think about.

[cull3nblaze]

What's your favorite BuckTommy head canon?! :)

Ohh, good question. I never really thought about it but now that you asked me... I actually have a few.

- Tommy can't cook to save his life and Buck teases him about it a lot ("how did you even survive without me"), but he actually loves it, because he likes to cook in general, but especially for Tommy

- Tommy hates social events where he has to do small talk. So now he just introduces "my partner Evan" and he does all the talking for him

- Tommy has a cat named Olivia and she does not like Buck. The first time Tommy introduces them she hisses at Buck und tries to scratch him. And then Tommy has to leave for a few days for his job und he asks Buck to be the cat sitter. Buck says yes of course but he does not like it at all. And Olivia denies the food Buck gives to her and once Tommy is back she looks at him like "nobody fed me, why did you leave me alone with this peasant". We'll see if she warms up to Buck at some point, not sure yet 😆

- Buck loves Tommy reading to him. Tommy tells him one time that his favourite book is the Lord of the Rings and when Buck says he has never read the books, only seen the movies, Tommy is absolutely horrified. So he tells Buck that he has to read the books because they are like "the greatest of all time" and Buck really tries but he only makes it through half the first book ("you know this could have been two instead of 40 pages. Is this Bombadil dude really that important? He did not even make it into the movie"). So Tommy does the only reasonable thing "sit down, I am going to read this to you and you will enjoy it". And Buck actually does. He couldn't care less about the ents and the orks and "why the hell did they not just ask the eagles to drop the ring into Mount Doom in the first place" ...but Tommys voice? Absolut heaven. Smooth and sultry and so fucking intoxicating, that Buck could listen to him read the damn phone book and he would not mind at all. So he gets through The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers and The Return of the King. And maybe once they're done he asks Tommy to start reading The Hobbit as well...because you know, just so that he can get the whole story "would be unfair not to listen to Bilbos story, right"...

(Hopefully no Lord of the Rings fan will have my head for this, because I actually do prefer the movies to the books even though I read all three and the Hobbit. Sorry 😅🙈)

[yanderespamton78]

WHY ADI IS A GOOD CHARACTER AND NOT JUST AN EVIL SCIENTIST CHILD MURDERER

AAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD YOU DONT UNDERTAND HOW WORKED UP I GET OVER THIS DEBATE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ARARRARARRARRA also btw i watched sweet tooth ages ago so i might get some details wrong

(please dont take anything said here personally i am tired and angry and i get so sososo worked up over this debate since Adi is very similar to a character ive been obsessed with for a year)

so after being in a sweet tooth fandom for a bit i found that much to my surprise (and distain) adi is actually a thoroughly hated character, which was surprising after coming from a fandom where the "evil child murderer" character is one of if not the most popular. And i feel that a lot of the people who hate adi do just see him as "evil child murderer" BUT HES MORE THAN THAT!!!! I PROMISE!!!!! get out of that echo chamber and open your mind to a new opinion (please i spent like 40 mins typing this out)

so firstly, adi was actually just a really nice normal guy before the crumble. he was a sweet man, he was a doctor, he was dad material. not a psychopath. he clearly isnt insane or murderous by nature. We can see his love for Rani in the first episode when he starts freaking out and barging past people just to try to keep her alive even when he knew the odds werent in his favour. he clearly loves his wife more than the world itself and would burn cities in her name. This is a man who Loves His Wife. After the crumble we can see that Adi and Rani are living a semi normal life. we see that all Adi wants is some normalcy despite the horrible situation he's been put into. And all he really needs for that is his wife. Evidently the rest of his family is already dead even if its not mentioned so this man is already under a lot of stress, also knowing that if anyone finds out that Rani has the sick he's screwed. but you know what? hes coping. hes living. maybe he's sometimes forced to be just a lil bit sadistic but its fine its fine its okay because Rani is okay. When he first sees Gladys's research he is horrified and refuses to do the things asked. he loves his wife but even he stops at the idea of killing children (like a normal person). When whatserface (forgot her name) is killed by the horse he is horrified but you can even see a bit of Rani's sadistic nature with how quickly she is to be like "right welp hide the body it was not our fault :)" while Adi is moritified but still helps her because shes his wife and she loves him.

In fact, even when abbot kidnaps him he doesnt want to kill the children. Why would he??? He kills them because if he doesnt Rani will die and all he wants is Rani to be okay. Put yourself in his shoes. your whole life was flipped upside down in the crumble and then your second chance at a mostly normal life was also torn away from you. Now the person dearest to you in the whole world (and also the only person you still have) is about to die at the hand of Doctor Robotnik, who is also trying to force you to kill children otherwise he'll kill you too. Adi is visibly shook after having to kill roy. He didn't want to. He even says in his little voice vlog thing that he has done something terrible (iirc). When Gus comes along he is desperate to have a reason to spare him and when Gus talks he is overjoyed that he doesnt have to kill another child. Sure he's kind of forceful and aggressive but my man is under so much stress and has been for the past 10 years let him be pissy. AND his wife is okay (for now)!! woohoo!!! When he finds the cure he is overjoyed. Sure he ignores his wifes wishes but at this point he is numb to the killing. IT IS EXPLICITLY STATED MULTIPLE TIMES DURING THE SHOW THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO BE A DOCTOR BECAUSE HE STARTS TO BECOME NUMB TO THE DEATH. he KNOWS that this whole doctor thing will start driving him a bit cooky and tries to avoid it but he's forced into it. and that is why he doesnt understand the true reason behind Rani's crying and begging. He doesnt fully realise how she feels at this point due to what he's been forced to do and thinks its too late to go back

He goes back into his laboratory and everything's gone. burned away. AND his wife left him. here is when i feel you can really see where he snapped. Everything he has is gone now. the only thing he could ever need, and the person who he did all those terrible terrible things for, is gone. It cant get worse now. He starts spiralling and going down a desperate path to redeem himself. At this point he is completely insane and broken. He really thinks with all his heart that the only way he can fix what he's done ad get forgiveness from his wife is by killing gus. he thinks its the right thing to do. He's delusional. he seems like a hollow shell of himself by the last season but you can still see little sparks of his old self occasionally. he betrays Gus and team because he thinks its the only way he can redeem himself. the only way he can get Rani to forgive him. But at the last second RIGHT before stabbing Gus he realises its not right and he realises that he's become a terrible person that his wife would be ashamed of. HE REDEEMS HIMSELF. HE SAVES GUS. AND YOU LOT STILL SEE HIM AS THE EVIL CHILD MURDERER. DIEEEEEE

anyways TLDR i love Adi a lot and he did the bad things that he did because he was sad and desperate and loves his wife a lot and anyone who thinks otherwise can go suck toes

[the-sage-libriomancer]

i try not to overthink the worldbuilding in Scoob and Shag because it's a thin premise that can't withstand much scrutiny (especially stuff relating to Toone), but i did have some thoughts that don't blow up the story's logic, so.

-first of all, the concept of "cartoon characters = actors" is inherently fascinating. especially since a lot of the actors seem to be government workers as well, implying the government used their own staff along with professional actors (like Yoge). what was the criteria? did they just have to look human? did Toone write show premises around whatever "characters" they had available? maybe that would explain some illogical plots and clunky lines in saturday morning cartoons - the actors didn't have much acting experience, and for all we know the writers were entry-level accountants.

-ballyhoo is also fascinating. it's basically a living metaphor for how an audience can influence their media: a toon's ballyhoo is directly empowered by how much love the human population gives them, just like how enough love of a fictional character makes them popular enough to keep appearing in media. it increases their strength (bc they have influence over the world) and extends their lifespan (bc they don't "die" until people stop caring about them), and all the ballyhoos are named after tv/movie terms like Picture in Picture or Jump Cut, implying that using tv/movie screens as a medium influences what sort of abilities they can get.

-the fact that too much ballyhoo causes you to instinctively, uncontrollably break the fourth wall is super fun and super fascinating and (as Bugs demonstrates) super horrifying. too much energy from meta sources causes the confines of your narrative to break down, leaving you in a weird spot in-between your world and a world you can't see.

-i can't stop thinking about The Inspector's backstory. it's just so tragic. born an android, given a literal soulmate shortly after creation, constantly looked down upon for not having a ballyhoo, losing his soulmate to old age, then losing his home to a war caused by the very thing you were devalued for not having. Bugs said that a toon's ballyhoo can extend their lifespan (likely bc a character who's beloved by fans doesn't really die), so the fact that Penny got old and died means she wasn't popular enough with the humans, which makes sense - Inspector Gadget is the iconic one after all. he's the one who everyone loved and remembered, and it was completely useless to him because he didn't have ballyhoo. no wonder he never smiles.

-i just realized that the Inspector was forced to leave Penny's grave behind when he escaped Toone. he can never visit her again :(

-speaking of screen partners, i love thinking about how the dynamics in cartoon series translate into real life and vice versa. it's a chicken and egg question: did certain characters land roles together because they were friends, or did they become friends because they worked together as actors? were Spongebob and Patrick actually buddies? did Felix the Cat work with Mick back in the beginning days of sending broadcasts? what's Scooby's professional opinion on Scrappy-Doo?

-(i wonder if you could justify the short period in Scooby-Doo history where Shaggy and Scooby were the only members of the gang regularly appearing in shows as "the government needed a way to keep the dangerous terrorists busy so they literally Could Not let those two stop appearing in things" asjhshbjahsjahsja)

-i I love that all the commanders are cartoon characters who were so popular/beloved that they seeped into (usamerican) popular culture: Mickey Mouse, Homer Simpson, Bugs Bunny, etc. They were the most powerful because their cartoons became the powerhouses of their respective eras - you can't get more loved than them.

-i wonder if the Simpsons were basically an ageless family back on Toone because they're still popular even after 40+ years, halting their aging. actually, i bet a lot of toons stopped aging after ballyhoo became commonplace. if your lifespan was defined by how loved you were by a fickle human audience, how do you think that affected relationships? it must've been hard if you had a tangible, literally life-affecting gauge of how popular you are according to alien beings you've never met.

-i was thinking about why Kermit is included as an mc when he's a muppet and the other toons are strictly western animation characters. the doylist explanation is that the author hadn't decided to limit the media used (similar to how Mario and Goku appear in early episodes), but i have a watsonian theory. i think Kermit is from the old Muppet Babies saturday morning cartoon, all grown up. he might've been a child actor who stayed with the government even after aging out, possibly explaining why there aren't any other muppets: they left the business and probably didn't escape Toone as a result.

-relatedly: my headcanon is that traditional (i.e. not toon-led) animation IS possible in this universe, and any animated project not usamerican is created that way. so anime is to the toons as a cg character is to humans, and the Goku pic is the equivalent of...i dunno, a photo of Avatarized Jake Sully lol.

-the fact that anime characters apparently didn't exist on Toone is probably for the best. can you imagine how powerful characters like Sasuke and Bakugo would be lmao.

-lastly, i was thinking about the old gods (or whatever they are). i'm pretty sure they're beings who exist behind the fourth wall. when Dee is pulled into the purple one's domain, she at first sees it as a wide open area in space, but then she starts processing it as more of a glass cube, with one huge window screen, large tubes, and wires running through the floating spheres - not unlike being held inside a tv. the purple god even says that staying too long will cause her mind to "shatter under the weight of reality" which...i think discovering you're actually a fictional character in a webcomic would do that to you. so the gods "interfering" is them going against the story's narrative to give the characters a boost. (this might tie into who Bugs is talking to when he/she addresses the camera - it's not technically us, it's the gods behind the wall.)

i have other thoughts but uh. this post is probably long enough.

[slocumjoe]

I think a body swap could be interesting to see with sole and the companions especially with differences in body or faction would you mind giving it a try?

I did this for one (1) specific meme

Disney Channel Strikes Again

Cait; ends up in X6-88 and has a surprisingly good time. For one, he hasn't treated his body like a amusement park you can't get kicked out of. Secondly, he's literally made to be a prime specimen. Mostly just wanders around, amazed at how much better she feels. She's not even bothered by the change of scenery, so to speak. She's way too excited to see what it's like not having joint pain and constant chills. And his head doesn't hurt! And his reflexes are amazing, it's like she can see, hear, feel everything around her before it even happens. She would take the opportunity to take the Courser life for a joyride, but being in his body, Cait gets a firsthand look at just how fucked she could be when they switch back, and wisely decides to take it easy.

Curie; gets to see what life is like for Hancock. Horrified. Traumatized. Disgusted. Confused. Curious. Intrigued. For one, getting such a personal experience as a ghoul is useful, and she does enjoy the learning experience. On the other hand, Hancock is one of those people that's treats his body like its a bumper car, and Curie is not. She has to figure out what the dull pain in her head is from. Is that a symptom of being a ghoul, or is it from his excessive chem usage, lack of sleep, and refusal to drink water? Then it's the frailness. Hancock isn't fragile, but he is scrawny, where Curie eats and rests more. She has weight, Hancock doesn't. The fun part happens when withdrawal kicks in. After the debacle, Hancock finds himself a few pounds heavier, hydrated, well-rested, and with no urge to take chems. Curie basically tidied his health up for him while he was out. And is adamant he try to maintain it.

Danse; gets to live as Preston for a bit. And the funny thing is, since both of them are insomniac workaholics who don't pay attention to their physical needs, Danse didn't notice until he went to work in the garage, and didn't recognize the hand he was using. Danse takes this the worst. Not only does he not want the person who got his body to have his body, he doesn't want to have a body that isn't his own body. He's already been through this. That didn't go well. The whole time, Danse is in a crisis. It's not fun to watch yourself from an outside perspective. But as for the body, the only thing that bothered him was that it wasn't his.

Deacon;

Deacon gets Gage and continues as normal.

Gage; gets to be Piper for a day and also has a bad time. For one, her caffeine/sugar/nicotine addiction is more like a phantom haunting his every waking moment, and he finds it hard to think if he doesn't have at least one of them in his system. Her system? Whatever. Secondly, being a woman in the wasteland sucks major ass. He knew that before. Getting to live it for a time turns him into a passionate man-hater. Also, it's just fucking weird to be 20 again. He can feel the bad decisions of the 20 year old brain, whispering just beneath his 40 year old sensibilities. Once they're back in their respective bodies, claps her on the shoulder and tells her it gets better. Its maybe the first time he's expressed sympathy in his life.

Hancock; ends up in Danse. Hancock hates it as much as Danse does, but...for an unexpected reason. See, Hancock is a creature of...indulgence. Whims. Desires. And Danse is...Hancock never saw him that way, because, y'know, they fucking hate each other, but in this circumstance, when Danse isn't Danse...he ain't ugly, thats for damn sure. So, Hancock was neutral to the concept, until he looked down and got to see the view. This infuriates Hancock. Why does the technofascist get triple-J cups? And then he couldn't do chems, because...well, not his body to treat like a bumper car. And then he got to experience a war vet's PTSD throughout his time. Hancock isn't jumpy. Being jumpy at things he, himself, found normal was a trip. Hancock is all too happy to get out. Especially since Curie took his body to the dry cleaners.

MacCready; switches with Cait. Much like Danse and Preston, Mac and Cait have similar bodies and physical sensations. So, didn't notice until someone addressed him as Cait. MacCready is the one to suffer the most dysphoria, and finds he really isn't comfortable in a lady's body, despite his wildest fantasies as a horny teenager. He tries to ignore it, but it's the little things. Moving your arms feels different when there's a pouch of fat on either pectoral. Moving your legs feels different with nothing in-between. He also tries to be as respectful as possible and refuses to piss, so Cait ends up nearly pissing herself when she gets back in. She both does and doesn't appreciate it.

Nick;

Piper; gets MacCready and knows the moment it happens. How does she know? Piper is a clean freak who's kind of obsessive over her hygiene. One second with MacCready's body and she knew something was dreadfully wrong. If she were a bolder, less considerate person, she'd take his body and walk through a car wash. As it stands, grants him that privacy. She just strips to his underwear, power brushes his teeth, and scrubs everywhere that isn't private with a washcloth and soap until his skin is red. MacCready doesn't appreciate this. Everyone else does.

Preston; is Deacon and mostly unbothered. Mostly. Aside from the what the fuck is happening, Deacon is not the worst person to bodyswap with. He's decently clean, he's of average health. And besides, Preston spends most of his time trying to calm down Danse, who is living in a nightmare. He doesn't get a lot of time to freak out himself. He's just trying to keep Danse from offing himself, because he's in Preston's body. And Preston needs that back, man.

X6-88; gets to live as tiny, soft little Curie, and hates it. She's so short. Her hands are useless. She's lacks agility and endurance. Her voice is akin to a baby lamb. It's horrible. People make googoo eyes at him, speak like he's a startled puppy, and if they're really dumb, make unwanted advances. Curie never has to deal with suitors again. X6-88 scares them all off. He chases Cait as himself down and threatens murder-suicide if she so much as gets him scratched. He might have hated the experience, but seeing Curie act like X6 was a treat for all who ever wondered what she'd be like if she snapped.

[starburr]

Toxic sasharcy directed towards Anne but she's cool with it, maybe even down with it. She knows that they're together, and wouldn't want to become a wedge to drive them apart, but she still wants them both. She loves how horrible they can be to her. But of course she doesn't tell them that, otherwise they'd stop giving her attention. But she doesn't know that they know what her deal is and double down on their obsessiveness by constantly teasing that they'll marry her when they all grow up. Even before Amphibia it might have been a half-hearted promise, but even she couldn't deny she wanted it.

She adores how into each other they are, then the switch-up of how mean the looks they give her are. How she feels them staring daggers when she tries to act all nice around other people while they're watching, how them giving her the silent treatment awakened something in her that night. Even a 'Boonchuy don't be such a loser' sounded strangely appealing. So contrasted from even after saving two worlds together. Even as Marcy slaps her a bit too hard in a 'friendly' pat, she can't help but sink into her lap as the sun sets. Maybe it lingers on Anne's mind what Sasha said before they fell back down to Amphibia.

"You'd better come back alive, Boonchuy. I swear to frog, YOU'D BETTER!!!"

Even if it made its home in her thoughts from time to time, she would eventually think of it as nothing more than what might have been a sendoff then. Of course Anne's memory isn't perfect, she forgets as she grows older. Time goes by, and she falls out of touch. Busy with life and trying to keep up with the demands of downpayments and loans. Sasha moved out, God knows where. She never said where, Marcy claimed not to know either. Anne finds it weird, especially with how deadpan Marcy seemed on call, but chalked it up to her being tired.

Anne keeps on living her life. Maybe she's furnished up the family home, seeing new faces come and go. A pretty neighbor moves in nearby. Nothing out of the ordinary with their first meeting, a simple "Oh, hey! Didnt realize the new neighbor was so pretty!" Before scooping her grocery bags up to go inside. She instantly takes a liking to Anne. Maybe stopping by her house every so often, gossiping with her as 40 year old women with financially stable yet lonely households do. Of course, Anne instantly folds because she's so lonely. She subconsciously craves that attention and devotion she had then from the other two. She wonders how they're doing, always wishing them the best.

A full year goes by of them flirting and getting along, maybe even getting a little more handsy. She even stays over a few times, then suddenly, nothing. Her parents would have consoled her were they still there, she's all on her own with this conundrum.

The neighbor hasn't answered her calls, not even her texts. She flips on her phone to hopefully find some solace in mindless scrolling, she would have expected the neighbor to at least peruse a social media site even if she was ghosting Anne. So why was her last online status 3 days ago?

Then she sees it, not even 30 minutes of scrolling when a news flash article confirms why. She didnt even mean to scroll onto it when she sees a familiar name.

'Victim was stabbed to death on her way home from work.'

She's become another statistic. No evidence, no nothing, just another number as a grim reminder of how fragile human life is. Anne is admittedly horrified. She swears she just saw that pretty face yesterday, now mauled like a wild animal had gotten to her at the scene. And to think she was anticipating that her absence was due to a misunderstanding perhaps, that they would be snuggled up again tomorrow and holding hands as they mused on the future. She can't believe she kissed that mutilated visage barely a month ago. Anne is so caught in her grief in fact that she barely notices the two sets of eyes watching her from behind the counter, latching the door lock shut with a click as they move in closer.

"Hey Boonchuy."

She really was surprised that night on who made their way back to her.

[lildoodlenoodle]

Something we see as the noir comics progress is a return to or a bad forced reflection to the 616 universe, but the noir characters are fairly different, with different life experiences, and motivations than their 616 counterparts. By forcing the same relationships and dynamics onto these characters we get a picture that doesn’t make sense, because they are not the same characters, and, ultimately leads to, lazy and bad writing. This is most evident to me in the romantic relationships, specifically the noir spideycat relationship.

Ok so, they have Peter, who’s implied to be a teenager in the 16-19 range(likely on the younger end of that), and the writers have him sleep with Felicia Hardy, an adult, who is implied to be anywhere in the 30s-50s range(likely in early to mid 40s), his boss and sudo father figure’s (who died 8 months ago)ex long term partner/girlfriend. And this is how they draw Peter’s reaction to her coming onto him:

GIRL he looks HORRIFIED and shocked why why why. Ughhhhh. I genuinely cannot tell what type of emotion they were going for. And the only people I’ve seen talk about this specific reaction were like ‘That is the reaction of a panicking gay man’ which maybe, but also A CHILD.

Then, the reaction the morning after also kills me cause Peter’s like ‘so we’re boyfriend-girlfriend now’ because he genuinely thinks that’s how that works and Felicia laughs at him cause she knows damn well it isn’t. That really highlights to me the difference in maturity, vulnerability, and age inbetween these two and it killllssss meeeee.

AND ITS NOT EVEN IN CHARACTER FOR FELICIA! In like Ultimates(?), 20 smth her kisses masked teenage Peter but after he mentions being in high school she freaks the fuck out! And has a general reaction of disgust! Like ‘Ew OMG I cannot believe I kissed a High Schooler’ and then she leaves!(and her noir design and story was so cool, like she wasn’t the black cat she was the WHITE WIDOW and an entrepreneur and it was so cool and THEY DESTROYED IT ALL FOR A BAD ‘LOVE’ STORY(there’s also the whole MJ Felicia lover foil but different post same vein))

Cause I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the writers either forgot what their ages were, didn’t care about the implications, or didn’t understand what the implications were of having a teenager sleep with a middle aged woman. And maybe part of it is the teenage boy and his friend’s hot mom or hot teacher gag/trope we see a lot in media that is considered to be more socially acceptable than if the genders were reversed. And I hate the general disregard for this sort of thing. Cause grooming and sleeping with older people as a teenager does cause trauma and does change how you build and handle future romantic, and especially, sexual relationships!

Tbh this one of the bigger problems I have with basically all of the Spider-Man Noir comics, they give Peter(and MJ) all this trauma and complicate relationships in certain ways and then they never talk about it or do anything with it as if it doesn’t affect them AT ALL or didn’t EVEN HAPPEN. It’s undeniable that a lot of, not only the trauma, but why the trauma isn’t talked about is because of the need for the 616 parallels.

[magniloquent-raven]

Y'know, the more i think about hellcheer, like, as a ship, the more i veer away from anything that has Eddie putting Chrissy on any kind of pedestal (even in a joking, petname sort of way where he calls her princess or angel or anything like that)

Like. Eddie could very easily have pulled out the kid gloves when interacting with Chrissy, she's physically small and emotionally fragile, it's not hard to let that kind of shit cloud the way you see someone. Genuinely, everyone in Chrissy's life seems to hold her to this weird Good Girl standard. See: Jason's outright refusal to believe she would've stooped so low as to associate with Eddie and willingly do drugs. See: the way her mother talks about her during her eulogy, not like she was a person but like she was some light-bringing saint.

But Eddie just kind of. Treats her like a person. And that seems to be what she likes about him.

Plus, he's doing it on purpose, as far as i can tell.

He saw something was off, in the beginning, she was acting weird, and he tried to validate her feeling like the whole situation is strange by dropping his "queen of Hawkins High" line, but then when this was her reaction to that:

He immediately shifted gears. He got a lot more theatrical about the whole thing—something he seems to only do around his friends—and started trying to connect with her by bringing up the fact they knew each other in middle school. Like he was trying to reassure her that he didn't just see her as the person she became in high school, the Important Cheerleader Girl, because clearly whatever reputation she's cultivated isn't all that comfortable for her.

Like a good 40 seconds after he fails to get a response to the Queen Chrissy comment he calls her a freak instead and

My girl is here for it, okay. She's into it. They're making googly eyes at each other and suddenly he's inviting her to see his band and showing her the tattoo on his chest even though he has SEVERAL on his arms he could've just pointed to instead, like. Okay, slut.

My POINT is, this isn't some cliche Good Girl Is Taken In By Local Bad Boy love story where she's not really a person and he treats her like an object because she's so pristine. Chrissy's been living this life that has her holding herself to impossible standards, where the stress of it has her seeing a counsellor and throwing up in the bathroom and keeping horrifying hallucinations to herself because she can't tell anyone in her life that she's struggling. And then Eddie comes along and goes "Yeah, I mean, life is kinda fucked isn't it," like that's just normal, because it is, and she can't help but want to know what it's like to be that comfortable.

And while she's being drawn in by the idea that maybe it's okay to be a little fucked up, he's realizing that she really isn't that Good Girl Cheerleader archetype, she's a person with struggles and quirks and he'd really like to maybe get to know more about that because she isn't judging him by his reputation either and she remembers what his band is called and he's just a little bit extremely infatuated but it like, in the normal adorable "I made her laugh I can die happy now" sort of way not the weird "She's literally a perfect angel" kind of shit that seems to pop up a lot when girls are blonde and nice.

Idk I'd just like to see more Eddie giving Chrissy increasingly nonsensical petnames to make her laugh. Them getting high together and Chrissy finding out she kinda hates it but she just kind of giggles her way through a rambling explanation of how weird it is before passing out. Or her practising cheer routines while Eddie hangs out because she just likes having him around, despite the fact that him (obnoxiously, loudly) cheering on her cheering is super distracting. Etc. Just. Y'know. Them being weird and messy and silly with each other. Fuckin' around being dumb, because they feel safe with each other.

[landscaping-your-mind]

Every day I think about episode 160 and cry. Like. Like. Jesus christ! The. Everything. Like. Every so often I think of TheOestOfOCs’ tag on their Dracula fusion fic, “this is still a fix it fic compared to canon” AND IT IS??? Fucking. Apparently Elias kidnapping Jon and turning him into a vampire and generally being the most awful person ever is a FIX IT FIC compared to what we’ve got.

And I’m like, I’m not complaining, I signed up for this, but like yeah, signed up for this (emotional ruin), but that doesnt make me HAPPIER ABOUT IT?

Okay, so, it’s three years, about. Starts in 2015, 2016. Ends in 2018. Because. Goddamnit. And it’s just. He gets eaten by fucking worms. You know that line, “one hand on the gas release from the start”? That line lives in my head rent free, because it’s… Elias is holding the cards, he has Jon’s fate in the bloody PALM OF HIS HAND and just… yknow how. Like. Fucked up Jon is in MAG 40? How he keeps asking them to Please Not Talk About The Worms, I Know About The Worms, Stop, I Beg Of Thee. And Elias is there, Elias is talking, Elias is seeing all of this and he’s just like “jolly good, job well done, 11 more to go!”

And just… Sasha. Tim. Melanie, Martin. Basira and Daisy. Everyone who got caught in the crossfire. Sasha, who died, unintentionally on Elias’ part, for a mark that was redundant. Tim, who died saving a world Elias knew was never in danger from the Unknowing. Melanie, who had to gouge her bloody eyes out, because Elias decided she was useful to him.

Useful. Fucking bastard.

And then, and then, season 3, right! God, I’m just thinking about Jude Perry’s mark, because that’s a burn, he probably didn’t go to a hospital, since he was on the run for a murder, so considering Lightless Flame nonsense, that’s probably a severe burn that probably caused nerve damage, caused a difficulty moving that hand, presumably the right hand, because I don’t think they were doing a scouts handshake. And while I do try make all my blorbos left-handed, Jon’s most likely right-handed. And even if he’s not, he still probably can’t move his right-hand right because someone decided to end the world through him, like a fucking bastard! That’s what gets me, right. It’s that everything, everything Jon’s bloody been through for Elias’ plans is immortalized on his skin, with his scars. Psychological trauma just isn’t enough for him, there has to be a constant reminder every time Jon looks at himself.

And then! And then! Speaking of season 3, what the fuck was that second kidnapping? Like, first kidnapping was horrifying but it was “for the plan” and the third kidnapping was in America and somehow “not that bad,” yknow, compared to finding out you’re like, physically dependent on reading horror stories, and your fucking awful bastard of a boss decided to drop that bombshell on you while you were actively, yknow, GETTING SICK FROM IT! Oh Joy. But second kidnapping was a) redundant, he’d already gotten the Stranger mark. b) completely fixable.

Completely fucking fixable. Just. Tell them. Tell them where he is, or tell them that’s he’s been kidnapped, if Elias doesn’t know, I think he did, because I think he’s exactly the kind of bastard who would just let it happen despite knowing exactly how to stop it.

And you know why? Why I think? Because that’s easier, right. It’s harder to be self-destructive, it’s harder to throw yourself into Situations, it’s harder to be isolated when you have one extra month to reconnect with your colleagues.

A month. Maybe the month would have done nothing. Maybe the month would have helped Jon and Tim. Or Jon and Melanie. Or Jon and Basira. Jon and Martin were already fine, and Jon and Daisy at that point is… ah… Nope.

And you think a month is bad? 6 months. And I know, everyone was suffering — Martin especially— while Jon was gone, and I know that it’s other people’s trauma that he’s watching and actively perpetuating, but! That’s also traumatizing!! It’s traumatic to have to watch other people’s worst nightmares for six months straight with no end in sight. It’s traumatic to have to. Everything??? Fucking everything in MAG 120??? I can pull quotes but that’ll detract from the rambliness of this. I’ll do that sometime, I will.

And honestly, season 4 is just a fucking mess, it’s. It’s. I’m sad about it. I’m Very sad about it, and. God. Like. It’s just. Melanie hates him, and part of that is because Elias used him as a meat shield in MAG 101, not all, not most, but part. Jon’s a monster now, and he’s hurting people, and there’s got to be a little voice in his head telling him he’s just like Elias when Elias is the one who made him like this. And they’re tearing each other apart and Jon is diving into Situations and Elias is watching from prison all fucking smug and then MAG 158 happens, god. damn. MAG 158 happens.

“I called you.” Like a fucking dog. Like. Like. “Are you scared, Jon” “Yes” “Good”

I have the words for MAG 159. A bet. A fucking bet. A motherfucking bet. I do not think I need to detail how horrifying and dehumanizing and horrible that is???? I don’t think I need to do that.

A bet. A bet.

And it brings us back to MAG 160. Make him monologue every fucking time this happened, every fucking time Elias used him to end the world, marked him, can’t word. But. Horrifying. Jesus.

2, 3 years. “You are a living chronicle of terror” what kind of fear. Over two years, just. Two fucking years.

But it’s not two. Not three.

It’s his whole bloody life, his whole life, leading up to this. End the world. Spread it. This is it, his purpose, he’s spent so long hurting himself for a purpose.

And at the end, after everything he’s done, after everything that’s been done to him, by Jonah Magnus, by the Web or fears or-

He can’t break free. He follows his purpose. He dances the steps he was assigned.

[sunmontuewrites]

On becoming a grandmother in my 40s... (NOT HAPPENING I HOPE)

Having conversation in the car with M&W. Now - for context I refer to my mum as Mormor when referring to her as the kids grandmother (Swedish meaning mother's mother). She never met them, but she despised names like Nana and Granny, so she's already told me that IF I ever had kids, she wanted to called Mormor (after asking what she'd be called in Swedish).

ANYWAY... I will be called Farmor if my kids ever have kids of their own. I said Hubs would maybe be called Farfar (which they think makes him sound ANCIENT).

Then I said grandparents are generally older, what with them being your parent's parents. Then they asked who the youngest grandparents I know are and I stopped and went...

Me: Well, you know LV? And H?

M&W: TWIN BLANK LOOKS

Me: *AUGH*

Me: So and so's mum, and so and so's mum.

M&W: Oooooh! Yeah?

Me: Well, LV has three grandkids and H has two.

M&W: WHAT? HOW?

Me: Well, they both had children when they were very young, and those children have now had children.

Me: I could be a grandparent in 10 years if either of you decide that's what you want.

M&W: TWIN LOOKS OF HORROR

Me: Even 5 years is possible actually... *HORRIFIED AT THE THOUGHT*

Me: Don't take that as a challenge or anything!

W: Mum, you don't have to worry. I'm too socially awkward for this to be a concern.

[deadwooddross]

gonna go ahead and crack pandora’s wasp nest open here—how could naruto have been good/how would u have written it

*begins chewing at my restraints and rips the iron door of my containment unit off its hinges* okay so the SHORT version is that naruto should have ENDED ssssomewhere around the Pain arc, maybe throw in one more, could probably keep..tobi...if you just make it WAY less convoluted, but. like that's it that's the wrap up on the lesson of NINJAS ARE HUMAN WEAPONS IN THE ARSENAL OF ENDLESS WAR. You can get maybe ONE more amp up, but the actual story did like 40, because it's shonen. Also Naruto could have had at least a LITTLE thought put into how he was like. raised. there is so much retroactive storytelling in this manga but apparently naruto has just been living in an apartment off his government provided milk and ramen since he was an infant. Maybe make me give a shit about Sarutobi by having had him go and bottle feed the demon baby or SOMETHING. Is Jiraiya the deadbeat sending child support checks or something? It's extremely hard to have Naruto exist at all as he is the second you put any thought into his childhood- which is why GAARA EXISTS. THAT'S NARUTO WITH 6 SECONDS OF THOUGHT. GIVE THAT BOY A FRIEND TO EXPLAIN HOW HE'S SO PEPPY!! SOME SORT OF GUARDIAN FIGURE BEFORE HE'S 12, Iruka could Almost count if he didn't act like he barely knew the little guy. Teacher Watches Orphan Go To Empty Home While Sad Flute Song Plays and says: Fuck that little kid, cant stand him, oh shit wait the author realized he needs one (1) parental figure in order to not lose his mind okay here i c Anyway, besides all that. Well for one thing Sasuke is RIGHT. Fuck Konoha! And the Government! did you see what they did to his clan!!! That one dude fucking HARVESTED them!! So you have little renegade fuck the system baby, and "If I'm king president I can fix all the problems!" baby. Good end: Naruto goes damn maybe u right and we should make some steps to try and alter the cycle of war and death and genetic eyeball supremacy. Neji voice: yeah i taught you all about weird bloodline family shit, remember that?? Bad end: The Entire Rest Of Naruto and Boruto, And No One Learned Anything. Also, the retroactive addition of GODS and PROPHECY anD REINCARNATION and MORE BLOODLINE SUPER WIZARD POWERS is so. Lame, Boring, Snore. Giving naruto a special baby background DESTROYS the fact he's kind of a nobody! He's just some kid with ONE skill he worked really hard on and he uses it in order to hack his way into doing all the other stuff he wants to do!! His only boon is haaving a LOT of energy to burn and STUBBORNNESS!! Screams in ADHD child Haku, Gaara, the Akatsuki/Orochimaru, and Pain. Are all good. Those are the arcs that stay and every one of them has a PRETTY STRONG POINT point about what happens when you smash children into little nukes. Eats that with a spoon. (PS JIRAIYA WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU LEAVE THOSE INFANTS IN A WAR Z) Oh also there's a lot to be said on how to rewrite uhhh literally Any of the women characters into relevancy because as they are rn they barely even count as such. But if i talk about that I would be here for the entire rest of the y- IMAGINE IF SAKURA'S FUCKING MEDICAL JUTSU MEANT ANYTHING!! WHAT IF SHE COULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL AGAINST KONAN BECAUSE SHE CAN SEE ALL HER NERVES IN HER HORRIFYING PAPER FLESH NO JUTSU, SOMETHING, ANYTHING, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *i am dragged back into my cell*