#in fact it probably could have had a greater impact if it was someone from the main cast

[blairwld]

i hate Merida ouat

[blossomthepinkbunny]

I'll probably just go on a rant after starting with this topic, but Helluva Boss really failed at showing us that Stolas doesn't look down on Imps. Or that he doesn't treat Blitzø as an exception, while not caring for Imps as a whole and the struggles they face. The only Imps/other lower-class Hellborns we see Stolas interact with are ones he:

-dislikes and shoves in Blitzø's face to make him feel guilty (Striker)

-abuses physically (his Butler)

-is indifferent to because they're on his side with being mad at Blitzø (Verosika, Tex)

-gets something out of (Blitzø, the guy at Verosikas party)

-ignores (Millie, Moxxie, Loona)

He gives Imps nicknames like: "little ones", uses the word "impish" as if Blitzø being an Imp implies anything about his behaviour (specifically his behaviour in bed). He tells Blitzø that his "friend", Striker tried to kill him, which either means that he believes every Imp knows/is friends with eachother or, that he said that to make Blitzø feel like he and Striker are like-minded (basically putting someone who was reasonably mad at him and tried to discuss their issues on the same side as someone who tried to assassinated him twice), which is manipulative as hell. He also ignores the fact that Blitzø couldn't come to save him because he had to take his daughter to the doctor (as if Loonas safety is less important than his, even though Blitzø has more of a reason to care for Loona than for him) and, that he sent Millie and Moxxie to save him (without them he literally wouldn't have survived). Stolas ignored Millie and Moxxie helping him in "LooLoo Land" as well, he only asked where Blitzø is because he is his "knight in shining armour", because he gets something out of him, which means he can just ignore the other Imps, who have no obligation/interest to sleep with him. Stolas being rich is never something he uses for the greater good. He could easily help Blitzø and his employees out financially, though I get that that might not be something Blitzø would want. But other than that as well, him seemingly having authority as royalty is completely useless. He only gets recognized in public when it's plot convenient (he has assassins trying to kill him as soon as he leaves the house in "LooLoo Land" and "Harvest Moon Festival", but going to a party with atleast 50 people or so is completely fine and no one seems to recognize him). We don't really see any of the duties he has as royalty. Apart from organizing the Harvest Moon festival, there really seems to be nothing he does (unless i'm forgetting something). The fact that he has to repress his sexuality also feels a little less impactful when you remember that Andrealphus and Vasago are also Gay. Though I guess we don't really know the connection they'll have to the story yet. The fact that he is super wealthy isn't really brought to focus either. He lives in a mansion and wears fancier clothes than the Imps, but that's just sorta it. Him being royal just makes the power imbalance much more apparent. Something that (from how I see it) was done intentionally, because Blitzø and Stolas were never ment to be endgame from the very start. At first it seems like Stolas is mostly just a running gag character, who got some depth in "LooLoo Land" but was never ment to be that important to Blitzø's story. He was more of a device that the I.M.P need to keep save, not because they actually cared for him (as he doesn't really care for them either), but because he is the only way they'll get to the human world. Characters that seemed like they'd be much more important to Blitzø's personal journey were:

-Moxxie (who probably gets used the best out of pretty much every character in HB, atleast in his relationship with Blitzø. Though they also didn't have real interactions for a while now)

-Loona (who hasn't changed her abusive behaviour towards him, because the show fails to give her meaningful screentime with Blitzø)

-Millie (who sorta has no real relationship to Blitzø aside from not really being dismissive of his actions. Though the Ghost episode might focus on how they met, etc.)

-Verosika (who they could've gotten more out of with the actually interesting relation she has to Blitzø, with a seemingly genuine and happy relationship they had, had they not sidelined her for the other, more uninteresting ship)

-Fizzarolli (who is utilized pretty well, though he and Blitzø got over their issues really fast and now they're just best buddies again with no complications and interesting moments whatsoever)

-Barbie Wire (Ya know, his sister who literally got nothing at all in terms of screentime, even though she should arguably be one of, if not the most important relationship Blitzø would need to be confronted with)

-Striker (who, from my understanding presented not only a threat to Stolas, but also a possible temptation for Blitzø to go against the system they live in. It was clear that he and Blitzø shared atleast some common ground, judging by the fact that he nearly became a new member of I.M.P because Blitzø liked him. They had chemistry and what Striker says about the system of hell is true and seemed like it would present a new option for Blitzø. A way to break free from oppression, which he might have never considered but is considering now that someone gave him a chance for things to change. But Striker got turned into a villian who completely lost the connection he shared with Blitzø. To become just another way the show could coddle Stolas by saying: "Oh no, Striker is saying that the upper class takes advantage of the lower classes?! But Stolas would never look down on Blitzø! He must be really aggressive and also, he was just hired by the evil Stella who wants Stolas dead for no good reason! So let's just ignore all the good reasons Striker has for wanting Stolas dead one way or another! Striker doesn't know what he's talking about, he was only an Imp suppressed by the upper class his whole life, how would he know what's best for Imp's?! Afterall Stolas is in love with Blitzø for real!!! That means that there is no problem with the royalty whatsoever and Striker and anyone like him should just shut up and stop complaining UwU..." <- definitely exaggerated)

(can you tell i'm really upset about what they did with Striker)

Some of these characters got dropped in order to make space for more screentime for Stolas, who is now considered the most important relationship for Blitzøs development, even though he should most definitely heal in other places, with other people before immediately deciding wether he wants to be in a romantic and sexual relationship or not. Blitzø has lots of issues and hurt a lot of people, there should be a lot of room to explore these relationships and to make Blitzø heal by sorting out his stuff, but the one he has with Stolas is not the one they should focus on first and foremost. If the way they've been writing Stolas for season two isn't going to change for the better, then I think he should've just stayed as an edgy joke. Atleast then he would've added context to the Imp's lower class status without taking away screentime from them and leaving way more interesting characters to be ingnored.

[thursdayinspace]

another random question but what do you think would have happened if scully had never gotten abducted?

i love this question. i mean, long-term, it would have changed *a lot*. no cancer arc, which would be the biggest and most obvious change. but what would it have changed right then and there? the abduction definitely impacted their partnership and their friendship.

in one way, it brought things to the surface, especially for mulder. he wasn't unaware of her importance in his life before the abduction. telling his tape recorder that he could only trust himself and now he can only trust her? telling her that the only reason he could see to stay with the fbi was if they were working together? he was already relying on her presence in his life. a lot. but when she was taken from him, i think he felt a fear and despair that he would not have anticipated. it's one thing to know you need someone who is right there, and who will set up secret meetings in a parking garage, and who, even if you *can't* right now, is someone you know deep down you *could* reach out to. it's another thing to need someone who is gone.

so in that way, i think he did become aware that he was feeling more than he had realized. and that realization definitely had an impact on their relationship. but there's another side to it:

the abduction was the first time he became aware of *his* role in *her* life. and what he saw there wasn't good. because mulder being mulder, of course he takes responsibility, of course he blames himself. the fact that none of it was his fault doesn't matter. this is when he realizes that their quest, *his* quest, is putting her in real, life-threatening danger. and that thought never leaves him again. we see that guilt that takes root in his mind there all the way up into the revival. so that is a huge thing. he would have eventually found other things to blame himself for. mulder takes things personally and holds himself accountable for things that are completely outside of his control. so if it hadn't been this, it would have been something else. because things would still have happened to her. but being abducted and being gone for that long and coming back on the brink of death? that, for lack of a better expression, really fucked them both up in a big way.

so, what is my answer to your question? i don't know. i mean, for one, scully's side of the story is still completely missing from this. i find that a lot harder to unpack. if anyone wants to analyze that, i'd love to hear your thoughts! but also, both these things i talked about could have affected them in any number of ways. it comes down to likelihoods and probabilities. in the end you never know for sure how a person will react to a situation until after they've done it. and you don't know how not going through an experience might change them. and no headcanon any of us might have will tell the story as it would have happened with 100% certainty because human behavior is simply too complex and complicated to predict with any kind of accuracy.

if mulder hadn't been pushed through external circumstances to confront his feelings in that way, if he hadn't carried her cross, held her hand fearing it might be the last time, that would have taken a huge weight off both of them. there might have been a greater ease to their relationship. mulder wouldn't be feeling that guilt. scully wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of all of that. the abduction, in my opinion, brought them closer to each other, but also served as an obstacle on their way forward, because it's quite something to move on from, more so since it brought feelings to the surface that neither of them was ready for.

*i personally* think the abduction strengthened the bond between them but weakened the foundation of their relationship. because of that added guilt and the fact that they were not ready to confront certain feelings. i think his fear of losing her is something that came to define him. and he kept almost losing her. if that hadn't happened? things between them could have progressed at an easier pace. their friendship, and the love they feel for each other. but honestly, i have no idea. but i had a lot of fun thinking about this.

[luna-rainbow]

idk if you've seen that post, it's from years ago at this point, where someone is surprised to hear that Bucky has a disability. i think it's in an ask with a response like HE'S MISSING AN ARM. remembering that left me thinking,,, what are your thoughts on Bucky's own comprehension of his disability? like, i'm sure he experiences chronic pain, and he's aware of his disability *especially once he has a metal arm that can be detatched as we see in tfatws* but i also feel like he might feel guilty taking the title of disabled because he has the serum and is "super" plus he doesn't feel like he deserves the support/help that can and should be given to disabled people when they need it. ALSO he hasn't had all that much time to process as a human rather than a controlled weapon that he is missing an arm. his prosthetic has been welded into him,, with probably less sensation,, but it functions like an arm,, idk i just feel like it probably hits him out of the blue, too 🥲

Oooh thanks for the interesting ask nonnie! And yes I do remember that hilarious post.

Here's my usual disclaimer that this is just throwing out ideas and that canon lends itself to many different interpretations.

I think the first thing to consider is Bucky's relationship with disability as a concept. He was good friends with Steve, a chronically ill person, but sometimes people have a different bias when it comes to invisible illness versus visible body difference. I have seen people, including disabled people, who are more accepting of one type than the other. He had grown up during a time when disability was considered a "defect" and there was talk of eliminating them from the gene pool, so there might be some inherent fear of being seen as "disabled". At the same time, he had also fought through one of the bloodiest wars of human history but also post the antibiotic era, which means a lot of major injuries became survivable compared to WW1. He likely saw many people around him become physically marked in one way or another. I have a feeling that that experience would have reconciled him with the fact that the value of life is greater than physical wholeness. So overall, I think Bucky probably had a fairly accepting view on disability and illness back when he was able-bodied, and while he needs time to process the loss, that acceptance is probably somewhat protective against self-hatred.

The second thing is the curious subject of Bucky's bionic arm. I have met (lower limb) amputees who reject the "disabled" label, because to them once they put on a prosthesis they could walk and run and work and exercise. I think worrying about being "deserving" might be a small part of it, there's a bigger part of worrying about social perceptions of disability -- they didn't want the "handicap" label to be used to hold them back. I suspect you are right, in that Bucky probably sees himself as very capable, even super-humanly so, with the (very high-tech) prosthesis. He most likely feels that being a soldier is a big part of his identity and sense of worth. I suspect also...going back to what Bucky's relationship with the word "disability" means, his interpretation of that (given he came from the 1940s) might mean something that has a profound impact on function, and he may feel that he doesn't fit that mark.

The third thing is Bucky's relationship with body image, which has varied from movie to movie. The Winter Soldier had no qualms flaunting that arm, but then the Winter Soldier had no mind of its own, and its handlers knew the metal arm was intimidating. In both Civil War and TFATWS, we see Bucky wear gloves and long sleeves to hide his arm, which he removes when he starts a mission. It could be that he doesn't want to scare people or draw attention to it day to day, or it could be that he associates the arm with the soldier part of himself and he doesn't want to see it when he's trying to return to a normal life. Interestingly, in Wakanda, Bucky had been quite content to walk around without any sort of prosthesis at all. This might suggest that he's less bothered by the missing arm than he is by the need to wear a weaponised prosthesis.

But you know, people are fickle creatures, and I am sure when he's hit by PTSD or a bout of anxiety or depression, his views on body image and his physical limitations would take a very nasty turn and he would have to work through all the stages of grief again.

[they-breasted-boobily]

Ways the plot of tua s4 could have been improved while including a lot of the same storyline:

It goes without saying that a 6 episode season was too rushed for even the shitty plot we got given, but I'll mention that these ideas would have worked better for an 8-10 episode season. Or maybe you could use them for fics or comics- I'd love to see them!

1. The careers and new lives of non-powered umbrellas: While Lila, Klaus, and Viktor had decent set-ups, the others seemed out of place. Diego's personality and desire to be a hero would have been better suited to a mall cop or traffic cop, where he feels undervalued and underutilised, rather than just beaten down as a delivery driver for jokes about peeing in a bottle. Luther only mentioned Sloane a couple of times in the entire series- with more than 6 episodes, it could have been possible to give flashbacks of him trying to get back to her, but her not recognising him and not being romantically interested. Not sure what changes could be made to his job or housing though. Allison's setup was mostly fine, but we really should have been given an explanation for why Raymond left- maybe lean into the horror of being taken from your time and timeline raising a daughter you suddenly have? Five would not work for the CIA except as a double-agent, either that or he would be retired as a fishing supplies store owner. Ben is his own whole point later in this post.

2. The marigold sake shots: I feel like this plot point added to Ben just being an asshole and scapegoat for the entire season, which could benefit from major changes. If left relatively unchanged, the fact that Klaus threw it over his shoulder could have led to greater implications if it landed on an unknown person behind them and gave them powers. This person could have been the subject of an episode or two as they were tracked down when it was necessary.

3. Ben's character: While s3 Sparrow Ben was a dick, he was not as edgy, conceited, or self-absorbed as he was in s4. I think it's fine to start his arc with him leaving prison, but making the crime as major as crypto fraud (just because you think it's funny) makes it much more difficult for him to seem likeable and relateable to Jessica or anyone else. If the crime was something more minor, or he was framed/unfairly jailed it could set up a revenge/redemption arc from the get-go. With his relationship with Jessica, it would have benefited from being more of a slow burn, or if the gradual unnatural obsession had more than 6 episodes to build up.

4. The subway romance: While I can almost understand why it was Five and Lila due to their history working together and especially using time travel together, I think if Five needed a romance (which I don't but show writers can't stand having one member of the main cast never being in a relationship), it should have been someone he met while on that 7 year subway adventure (probably an older woman) and settled with in Strawberry Tradwife timeline while Lila keeps looking for a way out for the sake of her children. Lila would find the journal a few months later and using both it and the subway map, get back to Five because she still needs his powers to get entirely out of the subway system. Could you imagine a scene with Lila trying to convince Five to leave the peaceful Strawberry Tradwife life he's always wanted after dealing with the trauma of being stuck in time twice?

5. Klaus's return to addiction: I think Klaus's arc could have definitely benefited from the season being longer. If there was a slower burn towards his addiction returning and his confrontation with Claire and if she stressed more that he didn't need to go down this path again, it could have really been impactful. The ghost sex trafficking thing was gross but if that was the only way to get him buried alive then so be it, because having him in a situation where he would have to directly face his trauma from the mausoleum and become stronger would be so good for the sendoff of his character. Maybe that could have been the point where he learned how to levitate?

6. Reginald and false memories: Why was the fact that he's literally not human and crafted this timeline so he could have as much power as possible (including a militia town) not explored at all? The plot should have revolved a lot more around at least verifying what he was saying about marigold and durango, if not about handing him a final defeat for this final season. Everything around him killing Ben led to huge plot holes (why wouldn't Klaus know the truth from Ben's ghost? Ben easily could have been spared and only Jessica shot. Why was Jessica being in a squid never explained?). While it's interesting to see the Umbrellas all give a brainwashed explanation for Ben's death, it couldn't be something as blatant as that, because Klaus would have to know even if everyone else was brainwashed. The brainwashing is an idea with promise, but it should have been something like Ben and Jessica being consumed by the giant squid together because Ben went against orders.

What other things could have been changed? I personally liked the CIA subplot, especially as it taught Diego to appreciate his family more. I also found Jean and Gene and the Cleanse conspiracy theorists to be fun new mini-villains.

[soracities]

God I had such a wonderful literature teacher in high school. It pains me to admit that I spent most of his classes either sleeping or daydreaming about death and other equally depressing subjects. I remember thinking even then, I used to like books. Why can't I get myself through this readings why are all of these poems so lifeless to me? And like the rest of my classmates I just googled the Spanish equivalent for SparkNotes for all the readings and got a 10 in every exam. Now I find myself seeking out those same poems and sonnets and books and wishing I could turn back in time to actually listen to this passionate guy who had been all over Europe and knew 5 languages and lived so much and was so specific about which translation to get for every poem and have strong opinions about 10 other translations. I just want to grab my past self and shake them hard and scream "WAKE UP!!!!!! This thing you're ignoring right now will be the only spark of hope and joy you will find in your 20s please it's can save your life NOW if you manage to open your eyes and ears for a little bit"

Now I'm getting a degree in english, and I'm an auxiliary teacher at a primary school and it really feels a bit depressing to know that sometimes not even a great, passionate and talented teacher can make someone with an underlying interest in the subject actually pay attention and enjoy a high school class. Or maybe I was just an idiot and it's a me problem. Or maybe literature is meant to pass you by the first time around and make you go and get it out of your own will at your own time.

I think there's definitely something to be said for finding the right literature at the right time, absolutely--but I also think the fact that you still remember this teacher and the incredible passion and attentiveness he brought to those classes, that you are holding this recognition close to you now, even if you weren't able to give it the attention you wish you had at the time, counts for something, too 💕 in spite of everything something of his teaching still remained with you, even if it's being appreciated after the fact, and I think that, for most teachers, that impact alone means a great deal! Maybe you didn't appreciate the class itself, but you are appreciating the poems and those outlive every classroom and what greater influence is there than that? (And sometimes it's not even the subject itself that remains with you, but the actual teacher. I had an incredible English teacher also, but I know the impact she left on some of my friends had little to do with the poems and plays and everything to do with who she was as a person, and this is, I think, one of the most important things that come from a marvellous teacher)

I don't think you were an idiot at all--I think that whatever you were going through at the time must have been so immense, and as frustrating as it is to look back and wish you could have managed things differently, I think it's so important to allow yourself some grace for the fact that who you are now, looking back, and who you were then, are two different people--some circumstances, I think, are beyond a pupil and a teacher's control but we do the best we can with what we have, and what you have now, and what you had back then, probably look very, very different. Have you ever considered reaching out to your former literature teacher? Writing a letter or an email to let him now what you feel about his classes now, being older, and what this recognition means to you?

I think it's amazing that you are where you are now, with the passion you have now, and also with the awareness, even if you couldn't appreciate it at that time, of what a passionate teacher can bring because it will help make you a more attentive and better teacher as a result. I think teaching is one of those vocations you need to love with your entire being and if you can bring that love and that attentiveness with you to the best of your ability at any given time, then this counts for something, even if not immediately in the classroom itself 💕

[itgr]

Early ROS season 3 Kodya thoughts (aka here's my excuse to ramble)

I'm only on episode 180. I have thoughts on a lot of things but rn I just wanna talk about Kodya?? Idk ever since we've seen him again in episode 159, he's been a lot more stoic and and standoffish than he used to be? (at least compared to his season 2 counterpart, which yeah he spent most of that outside his body but he wasn't this standoffish to Gyrus before). He's a lot more similar to his season 1 counterpart in some ways which I found interesting. Originally, I thought it would be a temporary thing just from the shock of seeing Gyrus again and recovering from the fact he genuinely thought they'd never meet again, but then he kind of stays that way and he's kind of snarky and defensive which I find interesting. I really like when characters are flawed or are tangibly impacted by things that have happened to them. Anyways here's like multiple reasons I headcanon (some of these are just straight up stated or heavily implied) there's such a big character shift (at least to me):

Um. Yeah he literally thought he'd never see his on and off boyfriend of several years who he literally fought so hard to keep around. That's going to fuck you up regardless of if it ended up not being true

^ Also I feel like losing Gyrus again definitely brought back some old pain and trauma from the time he, yknow, watched Gyrus lose himself over the course of years and eventually had to be the one to kill him ^^ so. YEAH (he has abandonment issues to me)

This is more of a minor point but we should talk about how fucky it would be to spend several years with people from the future and then be plopped back into your time period and expected to just. Keep existing like nothing happened and like you don't know at least hundreds of separate things and concepts that are, quite literally, ahead of your time

Look me in the eyes and tell me he didn't 100% face or see homophobia after returning to his time period. You know that would mess with him a bit (I find his defensiveness near Iro, while partially justified, really interesting? because it's the first time I can think of we get any implication that homophobia explicitly exists in the world of ROS <- which makes sense and it also makes sense to assume that the room of swords itself was probably pretty queer friendly because of the amount of different people there. Anyways Kodya's defensiveness near Iro just reads to me as someone anticipating homophobia because of firsthand experience with it)

Gyrus self deprecating about not as strong as Masiosare, who's essentially like if you took BB! Gyrus's inability to open up and ask for help and his tendencies to do morally fucked up shit for his version of the greater good and then maximised it(/hj), probably made Kodya feel worse. Like he already spent years watching Gyrus lose himself to those ideals and I feel like at this point, the amount of trust issues and general abandonment issues of having a partner who used to hide things from you constantly until it literally destroyed him, combined with that same partner now self deprecating and faintly implying he wants to be like that again, would 100% trigger the shit out of his trauma and probably make him feel like history's going to repeat itself

I don't know if this was intentional but (oversimplification) CPTSD symptoms tend to show up after the person's left whatever stressful environment they used to be in and it starts flaring up because the brain can't process or understand that its in a safe environment and is still in a very defensive protective mode even when it technically shouldn't be. Kodya's likely CPTSD from, yknow, EVERYTHING in the room of swords probably could've started flaring up because of the fact he finally managed to escape, which could also partially explain his mentioned thoughts of feeling cursed and like he'd never be happy before Gyrus showed up (it's a common thing to struggle to feel happy or safe after not having experienced either feeling for a long time)

In conclusion, Kodya Karevic is a well written mentally ill little guy who's literally done zero (0) wrong in his entire life/j. Jokes aside, I wanted an excuse to ramble and get my thoughts out and also just talk about how pleasantly surprising it is to have them actually acknowledge the flaws in Strawbarrow's relationship and show Kodya have tangible problems with trusting Gyrus again. Idk I really like how well and complexly they're written

[floofanflurr]

Hi! I just read your fanfic, 'Heart on a Table' and gosh--It was so amazing!! I was hooked all the way from the start! Most importantly I liked the fact that atleast someone realised the fact that--Despite everything, Frisk is not ok. Like, they are stuck in a place where everyone wants them dead, and completely, utterly alone. And it's like people forget the fact that if it weren't for their determination and resets--Frisk would probably be dead. I Just--thank you for recognising what Frisk went through.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

(This response is getting long so uh… let me put it under a cut:)

When I first started writing Heart on the Table around… 2 and a half years ago now? I think? (It won’t match the posting date! I wrote a first draft before I started posting online.) Yeah, when I first started writing it, there was… well, there was a pretty big lack of content about things actually addressing what happens to Frisk from a more realistic point of view.

People always treated them like this holy savior, or scorned them when they made a few mistakes, and I always struggled to find fanfiction where the monsters are forced to acknowledge “hey, no, wait, this is a KID. And this… is really fucked up, honestly.” And also for what happened to have a real impact on Frisk. Because, well, I’m pretty sure being murdered by the people you grow to love is incredibly traumatic????? Or even just being beaten within an inch of your life. There’s a lot of real impactful things that that could do to a child’s psyche—PTSD and self worth issues being only part of it.

There were, of course, a couple fanfictions with that I could find! But it was very few and far between.

(And of course, I’m a sucker for a LOT of different ut fanfiction- I’m not saying that stories have to do this! Just that it was a type of story I was looking for and couldn’t find.)

So!!! I wrote Heart on the Table! I tried to do a decent amount of research into child psychology, and the impacts of trauma on a child, and just… I tried to tackle it from a more sensitive, but also a more realistic perspective about what being hurt by your loved ones (while saying that it’s all for the greater good! That you HAVE to die for them to be happy! That you are being hurt because YOU are the problem!!!) would do to a child. …And, how that could lead to the personality traits we see in game.

To my utter delight, it’s easier to find this kind of content nowadays—(I wonder if Undertale Yellow had a hand in that?)—so I’m not one of the only ones outputting that kind of content (art and fics, etc.)

…to my less delight, I haven’t had time to read it! ALAS!

Sorry for the utter ramble here! Just!!! Thank you so much!!! It always delights me when people comment on the core reason Heart on the Table was written. (There were multiple factors and wants of course, but THIS is probably the whole driving force behind the story in the first place.)

[peggycatrerr]

i know this is the sort of statement that people would absolutely take in bad faith and crucify me for if it blew up but the way some people online talk about communication and the way they feel their neurodivergence impacts it is just plain selfish. like, yeah, of course you should be able to be your most authentic self without being judged or looked down upon, but guess what? that’s not always what people are doing to you when they express discomfort or frustration with the way you went about something. i think people have gotten so caught up in the idea that actually, the real problem is the neurotypical expectations of society, that they’ve circled around to a good ol’ “you don’t owe anyone kindness! you don’t owe anyone anything!” style approach. and as a result, they’ve become convinced that anyone who doesn’t get along with them must just judging them for having visible symptoms.

but here’s the thing:

communication is a two-way street.

maybe you tend to interrupt people a lot. it’s not coming from a place of being inconsiderate, it’s purely automatic. and maybe you got made to feel bad about that when you were a little kid and you never figured out how to let go of that bad feeling, and then you saw a tiktok telling you that this was about impulse control, that the interruptions came from hyperactivity. and now, maybe, you feel absolved. now when someone feels like you’re not listening to them when you interrupt them, you just tell yourself that that person’s ableist and needs to learn how to tolerate you. except... more often than not? that’s not the case at all. in fact, maybe, that person is also neurodivergent, and knows exactly what causes the urge to interrupt, and maybe that’s why they feel like they can comfortably say “hey man, you interrupt me a lot and it makes me feel like you don’t value what i have to say” without you accusing them of ableism, to their face or otherwise. and when you say “well this is just what i’m like, get used to it or leave”, do you know which of those options they’re more likely to pick?

or maybe your go-to way to try to connect with people is to tell them about something similar that you’ve experienced. and maybe it’s the same thing where once you learned what caused this, you came to the conclusion that you should be allowed to do it whenever you felt the urge and that everyone else needed to learn how to understand, like, “neurodivergent communication styles” or something. but maybe you do it every single time someone tells you something. maybe you do it in really inappropriate situations. maybe you go into way too much detail when you do it, to the point where you’ve actually swung the conversation around to being about your thing instead. i’ve known people who would do that last one and then, when i tried to gently redirect things back to the original topic without being rude to them, they would ignore me and keep talking about themselves, only to use their neurodivergence as an excuse if i brought it up more directly. do you know why? it’s because they only cared about their own experience in the conversation. they could not comprehend the fact that the way they spoke to me had an effect on me.

and look, nobody, regardless of neurotype, is perfect. nobody is ever going to go through life without ever hurting someone else’s feelings in a perfectly preventable situation. but... if you can minimise how often you hurt people’s feelings, wouldn’t you? who you are is not a fixed thing. no, not even your symptoms. if you seem to constantly be hurting people’s feelings, then you need to accept that you’re the common denominator, and that you are capable of working on that. will it be uncomfortable? yeah, of course! does that mean it’s actually just masking and that these people are ableist pricks who are forcing you to be inauthentic to meet their standards? NO. it means that learning and growing takes time and effort, and that the time and effort required from you will probably be greater than the time and effort required of a neurotypical person who is doing similar things for different reasons, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for you.

and the process of breaking those habits is going to look different for everybody. maybe you’d fare best learning how to recognise the weight of the situation you’re in and consciously thinking “would this be an appropriate time to tell my own story”. maybe you’d fare best learning how to decrease the length of that relatable story so it really is just a related anecdote and not a diversion of topic from the other person’s problems to yours. maybe you just can’t suppress the urge to interrupt so you find coping mechanisms instead, like jotting down the thing you want to say and saying “hey can we circle back to this thing when you’re done” so that way you don’t forget the thought you had but you don’t have to sacrifice paying attention to remember it. it could be literally anything, and it could start out small too, if you’re not someone who finds it easy to develop new habits.

and the thing is, none of those require you to “seem neurotypical” or to “act like  a neurotypical” or to mask. you do not have to try to never interrupt or never express your understanding of a situation through the fact that you’ve been through something similar or whatever else it is you may do that has caused other people to feel devalued. there are plenty of neurodivergent people in this world who are able to be their authentic selves and be considerate to the person they’re talking to.

but if you’re doing something so constantly that it feels like everyone in your life has asked you to be more considerate, then please, try your best to remember that they’re as sentient as you are and that everyone has the ability to impact others for better or worse and that your intentions don’t negate that impact, and that everyone has the ability to try to be a little bit nicer. even just a little, if that’s all you can manage.

[unseriouslittlediary]

The Intricacies of Alexander Lee McQueen

No I’m not the most well researched fashion blogger, but yes it is the primary love of my life. This entry is about possibly my greatest love aka the legendary Alexander McQueen with whom I’ve created quite an unhealthy parasocial relationship.

From his work in Saville Row at the astounding age of 16 to his death in 2010 he remained one of the most skilled artists in fashion. I hope not to bore you with facts we’ve all heard before but to showcase the effects he has on everyday people (me). Let’s get started.

I cannot remember when I first discover McQueen and his work. It was probably a product of the doom scroll on social media and although I was not aware of the initial impact, it did stick. I then explored more of his life and work and became fascinated as well as envious of the fact that he could translate the pain of the human experience into the most beautiful clothing we’ve probably ever seen.

I then watched the documentary that followed him from his beginning to his untimely end and found tears forming in my eyes. How strange to have such strong emotions for someone that had only been a conscious part of your brain for a minuscule time in your life? Someone that you have never met and will never meet. It was quite a strange and foreign feeling to me but looking back it was the start of a beautiful appreciation for people I don’t know. Something I think is completely lost on humanity.

My life can be categorised into before seeing the Highland Rape collection and after. It truly is, in my opinion, the most beautiful tribute to women. Somehow a man so deeply understood the incredibly common and harrowing culture of rape towards women. Thinking that many reporters and general fashion lovers left that show thinking that McQueen was misogynistic? It honestly astounds me. Maybe it would be offensive and off putting if he put the models in badly fitted clothes with mundane designs. But it was absolutely the opposite. To show the scenes of what many women face everyday to the world of high fashion in such an unfiltered way shows inherent understanding and guts.

I think what makes him, his work and philosophies in general so important to me is the feeling of being seen. For some reason it is so comforting to be seen by someone halfway across the world that has no idea that you exist rather than the people who you’ve known your whole life. There is a feeling of “This isn’t just me!”, “I’m a part of something greater!” that makes life seem all the more meaningful. Don’t get me wrong being understood by people in your direct vicinity is extremely important, but finding understanding outside of everything you currently know hits that little bit deeper.

I have collected quite an obsessive amount of books about Alexander McQueen. They range from behind the scenes photography books to in depth accounts of his life and work. Through this intense fascination I have found that you can sometimes lose yourself in your idols. As someone who hopes to one day enter the world of fashion and more importantly tailoring I have asked myself that simple but unnerving question we all seem to ask ourselves, 'But who am I?'. Who really knows, but for now i'll give those books another read ...

[freifraufischer]

Listen, I get a certain level of fan delusion with your faves. It took me until, quite literally, last WEEK to accept that Riley probably wasn't coming back to elite, let alone aiming for Paris. But Simone has sent every signal in the world that she is Done(TM) and people are STILL so desperate for her to come back that they're basically demanding she stay in the kind of shape that could enable a 2028 comeback, and it makes me really sad on her behalf.

I think those people who are hanging on the fact that she's still in the drug testing pool are at least going on something more solid than vibes.

I think she's done but I'm also never going to under estimate the drive of an athlete at her level. I just wish more fans had a better sense of the level of fitness and training needed to compete on the elite level (and that includes for people with natural gifts). Even a lot of NCAA athletes who are competing and doing amazing would not have the endurance to do an elite bars or floor routine.

I also ended up in a back and forth today about the idea of "well Simone could just go to a world cup and get the YDP named." Okay yes she could in theory but that assumes A) she can still do the YDP and B) that USAG would send her to a world cup essentially on a personal vanity exercise.

There is a nominal fee the NGB to enter the world cup, but there is also the travel and hotel costs for the athlete, the coach, the judge and any USAG support personnel that also have to travel. I invite you to think about how much it would cost to send 4 people to Cairo or Doha for a week. And that's not even counting the fact that you have to be added to the national team (and that comes with funding) to get an international assignment. I've seen the gymternet get behind gymnasts whose federations decide not to send them to worlds who said they offered to pay their way. I always bite my tongue from asking if they also offered to pay for the judge and the support personnel.

When I pointed out that there would be budget implications to this someone pointed out that Simone could self fund. I'm going to admit right now I don't know USAG's stance on self funding but many NGBs in many sports actually don't allow that for ethical reasons. It essentially allows a rich person to buy their way into international sport and creates a knot of conflicting interests for team selectors when faced with sending an athlete who can self fund versus someone whose selection would have a greater impact on their budget.

Remember this hypothetical is "she just goes to a world cup to get a skill named". So explicitly it's not about any future to the program or development. Maybe you say they owe her. But don't they also owe the athlete they're not sending to this event who is at the beginning of their career? And don't they owe the athlete who doesn't get a national team stipend that year because they decided to spend a chunk of their budget on this trip? I'm not saying you don't send her on this hypothetical trip under any circumstances but it's not quite the simple prospect people want to think it is.

But for those who are wondering why this is coming up again: TLDR: Simone talked in her instagram live today about how they were planning a short honeymoon this year and an extended one next year. Her fiancé is an NFL player so he couldn't be able to take an extended honeymoon from the start of the NFL pre-season in early August through the end of the year. If she's planning on an extended honeymoon in 2024 it would be before the NFL season and thus before the Paris Olympics.

[childofchrist1983]

What then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice. For I know that this shall turn to my salvation through your prayer, and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. - Philippians 1:18-20 KJV

Paul doesn't care how the Good News of the Gospel is proclaimed as long as people hear about Jesus Christ. It didn't matter if someone was trying to be a big deal or not. Paul wanted everyone to get the message. He is also aware that he may not get out of prison to preach again. He is realistic about the fact that he could be executed. It reminds me of Martin Luther King, Jr. and his determination that discrimination and segregation should be eliminated. At one point when he was preaching, he even said that he would probably be killed and he was. In many ways his legacy made more of an impact than his life had. Paul's legacy in his letters and the communities of believers that he established was greater than anything he did during his lifetime. Jesus' ministry only lasted three years, but His legacy has lasted more than two-thousand years. Paul was right in that the most important thing was to keep spreading the Gospel Truth. In the Acts of the Apostles, one of the members of the Sanhedrin was correct when he warned the other members that if this new movement was from God, then they would not be able to destroy it and they might even be fighting God himself. The Sanhedrin couldn't stop it; the Romans couldn't stop it; nothing can stop the Good News of Jesus Christ and His grace-given gift of eternal salvation from reaching every corner of the world.

People today are still being attracted to Jesus Christ and His message of love and salvation. How is the message being spread today? By us! We are today's witnesses and we have been given the task of carrying on from Paul and the Apostles and all those who have gone before us. God wants the Good News to continue to spread and Jesus Himself has given us that mission. We know that we can always depend on Him to lead us and to help us. Let us seek God and a better understanding of His Holy Word daily, not for the sake of entertainment or mere accumulation of knowledge, but that we may love and serve Him more and more with each day that passes. We must come to Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ with honest, humble and repentant hearts. We must seek Him and His will and choose to follow Him all the days of our lives. May He help transform our hearts, help us to seek and live for Him above all else and to grow spiritually and build our faith and relationship with Him with each passing day. May He forgive our sinful nature and help us make Him and our relationship with Him top priority everyday.

As true and born-again Christians, we choose to walk in His righteous path and lead a life that is pleasing to Him. We desire Him and His will above anything else. We desire to walk in accordance with the love and light He has shown to us through His Holy Word and Spirit. We long for a deeper relationship with Him and a deeper fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ as well. When we fall into temptation and sin, we must turn to Him for forgiveness, strength and guidance. When believers learn to walk in accordance with God's Holy Word and Spirit, they have deeper fellowship with both God and one another. And the sin that could threaten to destroy that fellowship, if confessed (1 John 1:9), is covered in the blood of Jesus Christ and no longer a barrier between us and God. May we ask Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ to forgive us for any sins we have sinned this day or in days past. May we be faithful to Him and His Holy Word always. May He help us to walk more consistently in the light and to not neglect long to confess and forsake any sins that hinder our walk with Him. May He lead us in the direction He wants us to go so that we may seek and serve Him faithfully. God is holy and almighty and deserving of all praise honor and glory. We rejoice in Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ, knowing He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He is the Alpha and the Omega (Revelation 1:8). May our hearts always be filled with thanksgiving and rejoicing. May He help us to praise Him freely and honestly like all believers who came before us. May we live a life that showcases our love and trust in Him and His Holy Word and Spirit as He uses us draw others to Him and His soul-saving Gospel Truth daily. May He continue guide, correct and protect us, so that we continue to grow in Him and not weaken and stray. May we all remain faithful to Him and to this duty and purpose He has called us to. Seek and put your faith and trust in Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ and let Him do the rest. May He humble our hearts and help us focus on following and serving Him daily and helping others with joy and happiness. We lift our voices in praise to Him for His love, mercy, peace, faithfulness and grace - For EVERYTHING!

It is vital that we remain rooted in Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ through prayer and His Holy Word and Spirit and that we live and walk as a beacon of His light and love and share and spread the Gospel Truth daily, so that the lost souls in this world can come to know Him and be saved. The more we focus on Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ, growing spiritually by building our relationship with Him, leaning on Him and His Holy Word and Spirit, the better off we will be. Thanks to this and our faith in Him, we know that everything will be alright. And we will forever be grateful to Him. As true and born-again Christians, we believe in Him and His Holy Word and we strive daily to walk in His Holy Spirit. We know though our mortal bodies should die, He will raise us up and into new and glorious bodies (The Rapture). We who are truly His and alive at His second coming will never die, and our bodies will be changed in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, and so shall we ever be with Him in His Kingdom of Heaven forevermore (1 Corinthians 15:51-52, 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17). This is one of many promises given to us by God Himself. Thank God for His strength and guidance when we are faced with sin and temptation. Thank Him for His mercy and grace. Through Bible study and prayer, God reveals His wisdom and guides us to see opportunities to grow closer to Him and grow spiritually. He gives us direction to live our lives daily according to His will.

Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to Heaven (John 3:5, 14:6), the ONLY way to salvation (Acts 4:12, Ephesians 2:8-9) and He is the resurrection and the life (John 11:25-26). Jesus Christ the LORD of lords, the KING of kings, the GOD of gods (Deuteronomy 10:17, 1 Timothy 6:15, Revelation 17:14, Revelation 19:16) - He is the Living, Almighty and Everlasting God (Isaiah 9:6, Revelation 1:8, John 3:16, John 3:36, Jeremiah 10:10). There is no other God besides Him (Isaiah 45:5). We MUST humble ourselves before Him, turning our backs on false teachers, false gods and idols and our sinful ways. We MUST repent and turn back to God and recognize who He is and love Him in return for His great love for us. We MUST make God top priority everyday! May we be motivated to spread God's Holy Word and Gospel Truth to all the Earth, knowing that it is the only hope of all those lost in their sins. Let us not hold out a false hope for men to be saved without the Gospel, but instead, strive to do our part to get the Gospel out to a lost and dying world.

Leaning on Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ through prayer and His Holy Word and Spirit strengthens us and our knowledge and wisdom about God and His Gospel Truth, exposing these imposters. May God help us to seek and lean on Him daily to gain the strength, wisdom and spiritual discernment needed to expose Satan and his imposters who seek to destroy us and God's ultimate Truth. Everyday, we must remember to share Jesus Christ's Gospel Truth with the world and to thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for the grace that He poured out for us on the cross at Calvary. He has freed us from the burdens of sin and from the eternal damnation of Hell. In all we say and do, may all praise, honor and glory always be given to Him and His Kingdom of Heaven.

With renewed minds, hearts and wills, let us serve Him humbly and faithfully out of pure love and grateful rejoicing. May He remind us of His presence and to remain at peace, fully knowing that all will be well because He is always with us. Let us seek Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ today and everyday with all our heart and being, looking for His love, light and will for our lives with each step we take. Let us seek to please Him with our thoughts, words, and deeds and seek to advance His Kingdom of Heaven and His glory with our lives. Let us seek Him from a pure and humble heart, and when we so seek, we believe Him and His promise that we will find. May He help us all to be more sensitive to the teaching ministry of His Holy Word and Spirit, relying on Him and allowing Him to speak to us and guide us every step of our Christian journey.

God gave us the Holy Bible - His living and Holy Word - to let us know of Him and His abiding love and care as well as guide and prepare us for all our lives. May He help us encourage one another as we continue our walk with Him and our duty to Him daily. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for being present for all our new beginnings and all our lives. May He redirect any anxiety we feel as He provides countless opportunities for growth and change. May we humble ourselves before God always, asking Him to forgive our sins and make our hearts and lives anew through His Holy Word and Spirit. May He help us make Him and His Holy Word top priority, so we can grow spiritually and grow in our relationship with Him as we apply it to our daily lives. Thank God that we can focus on Him and everything about Him, for that is what keeps us sane and at peace. May our words and actions always be a reflection of Him and His Holy Word and Spirit and will.

May He help us to always walk in His grace and Holy Spirit, not by our own measure. May He give us the humble humility to know that our freedom and eternal salvation is found only in Him, so that His grace may sustain us, and we may never lose sight of His love and light and mercy. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for calling us to Him and to serve Him. May He equip us to do all that He has called us to do so that as He works through us, He may use us to produce fruit, to reach others, and to encourage all brothers and sisters in Christ. May He work all of these things in us and through us for His Kingdom and His glory. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for all His creation, for His miraculous ways and for everything He does and has done for us! Keep the faith and keep moving forward in your walk with Jesus! He loves us and He knows what is best for us. Seek, follow and trust in Him - Always!

Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His Holy Word and for sending His Holy Spirit so that we might have His grace, not only to awaken us and transform our hearts in our spiritual rebirth and guarantee our eternity with Him, but to also call upon Him whenever we are in need. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for all the reminders of His love and mercy and faithfulness within His Holy Word. He is bigger than any challenge or circumstance in our lives. Knowing this within our minds and our hearts, nothing can deter our faith in Him and His Truth. May we all accept Him and His eternal gift of salvation and ask that He would transform our hearts and lives according to His will and ways. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His Holy Spirit who saves, seals and leads us. May we always thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His almighty power and saving grace. For He is our strength, and He alone is able to save us, forgive our sins and gift us eternal salvation and entry into His Kingdom of Heaven.

May we make sure that we give our hearts and lives to God and take time to seek and praise Him and share His Truth with the world daily. May the LORD our God and Father in Heaven help us to stay diligent and obedient and help us to guard our hearts in Him and His Holy Word daily. May He help us to remain faithful and full of excitement to do our duty to Him and for His glorious return and our reunion in Heaven as well as all that awaits us there. May we never forget to thank the LORD our God and our Creator and Father in Heaven for all this and everything He does and has done for us! May we never forget who He is, nor forget who we are in Christ and that God is always with us! What a mighty God we serve! What a Savior this is! What a wonderful LORD, God, Savior and King we have in Jesus Christ! What a loving Father we have found in Almighty God! What a wonderful God we serve! His will be done!

Thanks and glory be to God! Blessed be the name of the LORD! Hallelujah and Amen!

[wellfine]

HII I love your art so much it's so expressive and it feels like theres so much movement in it! I was wondering if u had any tips or advice to help with that? I practice anatomy and expression so much but it seems like everything I draw on my own is so stiff!! Anyway I hope you have a great week :)) <3

Hi there! Firstly, thank you so much for the kind words, it means a lot that you would take the time to tell me!

Second- my advice is to take everything you've learned about anatomy and THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!!!!!!!

... For now. Just into the front yard so you can keep an eye on it. But I have seen many artists concentrate chiefly on studying anatomy only to feel like their art ends up too stiff. My own experience has been to treat anatomy as a tool best used to correct an image in the later stages of construction rather than as your driving foundation.

If "correct" anatomy (however you choose to define that) is the priority of your undersketches, I find that you end up with a sort of Skeleton Song approach to drawing - y'know, the knee bone's connected to the thigh bone, etc etc. Whatever energy, emotion, or intent you wanted your drawing to convey is getting lost each time you split it into another anatomical segment. By over-focusing on individual parts, you lose sight of your image as a whole.

The key to conveying dynamic movement in motionless art is to ensure every element of your image agrees on and communicates the same action, the key to which is something called the line of action.

A line of action is simply that - an implied "line" with wich you lead the viewer's eye and communicate movement. Think of it as the core of your figure's action, simplified to its rawest form. By knowing this, you know what to emphasise and what to de-emphasise.

Well, art is a visual medium and I am better explaining with drawings than words or I'd never have picked up a pen in the first place, so:

Images can have multiple lines of action, lines of action can complement and contrast each other, and a line of action isn't always as obvious as something like running. Imagine you're tring to make your art more "aerodynamic" to the eye. Since I draw a lot of One Piece fanart, I assume you're also familiar with it, and you can probably imagine how Oda uses "lines of action" when composing panels of Luffy punching something, Zoro slicing something, Sanji kicking something- etc etc. He's really good at selling the "oomph" of action shots by reducing visual clutter so that the impact of the action is greater.

(The Monster Trio's abilities are all designed in such a way that allow for REALLY striking lines of action... you can tell Oda loves studying manga fight scenes and wanted to create a world where he could push these concepts to the limit, and it's no wonder One Piece caught the eye of animators even before it was serialised by Toei)

You're probably already noticing how line of action also feeds into composition and silhouette when it comes to conveying movement in an image. Basically put, once you've isolated whatever action it is that you want to convey, the more visual clutter you can streamline away from that action, the stronger an impact that will have on the viewer. A firm line of action, an uncomplicated silhouette for your figure, and a readable overall composition of your image/panel are all ways to minimise visual clutter.

You can also use this information to achieve the opposite effect! Sometimes the ideal action you want to convey is not fast, or powerful, or confident, and you can use the same principles.

In fact, you can apply line of action to images that don't have any "action" in them at all. You can make a drawing of someone simply standing there feel more lively by applying these same principles to their body language:

You can develop an eye for how to simplify movement down to its "lines of action" by studying real photos and other people's art. Try simplifying a figure to its silhouette, and then simplify that silhouette further to a stick figure. And honestly, a lot of this could be boiled down to "see your image as a whole and not just a collection of individual pieces". Set anatomy aside during the composition stage and bring it back in when you start building up the sketch.

Moving away from the line of action, my second piece of broad advice is simply to exaggerate more. Lots of artists subconsciously hold themselves back from pushing motion, expression, etc. out of concern that it will look "too much". Well, maybe it will- but you won't know that unless you try! You can always walk it back if you think you took it too far, but I think you'll be surprised by how far you can push your art before you hit that point.

My final piece of advice is to work on line confidence. Even if you follow the rest of this advice, if you have hesitant and scratchy lines, you're undermining the flow and punch of your art. The best way to improve line confidence is simply by practicing! Do a lot of quick, timed studies, and use a permanent medium like a ballpoint pen or marker. Focus on unbroken lines wherever possible even if it makes your studies look like garbo. I find traditional studies are best for improving line confidence, but if you'd really rather stick with digital then just don't let yourself use the eraser tool, and try using a chunky brush with limited pressure sensitivity.

And that's it! Don't stress about it too much though. Loosen up with your art and, like any other skill, you'll improve with practice, time, and analysing what you like about other people's art. Good luck!

[thepinkscope]

PICK A CARD - What will your first-ever partner be like (if you've never been in a relationship before)?

PILE 1 //

This relationship is the case of being the person of someone’s dreams but they’re not able to be the partner you deserve.

To them, you’re a complete dream and they debate about leaving or staying with you. It could also be that this is a dreamy relationship but someone feels very insecure about their partner.

You might feel like your next partner is out of your league or vice versa. I’m hearing that if you two are able to engage in multiple honest and open conversations about these insecurities, there’s a greater chance of going the distance.

This relationship is going to force you or both parties to step in to complete growth in the self-worth department. You’re going to have to get comfortable with the fact that someone can look at you and all your flaws and believe that you’re everything they’ve wanted. I’m also hearing you might meet this person at a party and there will probably be instant attraction. It might be a pool party or take place in the summer. You might’ve had a crush on this person prior to you two getting into a relationship.

Wow guys this relationship can really thrive when you two get vulnerable. That’s how you add years to it. Being honest about your fears, worst-case scenarios and hopes for the future. A very spiritual connection and experience. Something very ethereal about your first relationship.

PILE 2 //

The chemistry between you two just overflows and both of you are here for it. Both of you want to explore one another. The thing that runs through your head with this person is that you’re “theirs”. Completely and wholly.

Almost like you two would love to combine your souls. You guys may feel like each other is a soulmate for sure. There’s just something about your connection that prompts that belief. I’m seeing a bit into the relationship after you’re head over your heels, the feelings may dampen down and the love is evolving and shifting.

You might miss the way it was in the beginning. I think you may be taking way too much advice from the world around you about how a relationship should look and feel and it’s having an impact on the connection. Sometimes you have to throw all of that out the window. I don’t see you two lasting, to be honest. It might feel very jarring and cold the second you part ways but I’m hearing you need to have the space to further explore your own life.

PILE 3 //

There’s definitely some pining over here. In this connection, someone might’ve been wanting the other in such a pure way for a very long time. It’s so sweet because it isn’t even lustful, this person will definitely see you for the human being that you are and they will find it almost poetic.

You might have caused them some stress haha. This relationship is beautiful in the way that you guys take care of each other. However, it might get unbalanced at a certain point.

The person who wanted you might actually suffer from anxiety and you would feel very strongly that you’d have to take care of them. This person doesn’t cry and so you do everything to make sure they know you’re there for them.

I think they give you a lot of love and this is just one area where they struggle and that is what makes you more than happy to help. So maybe that balance restores itself in that way. You guys both know you’ll get through the bad times. And by bad I mean non-toxic non-abusive bad times. Just you know miscommunication or something. This person believes they will never ever find someone else like you. You’re end game for them. This relationship has a lot of confidence. And they will always try for you.

It’s very sweet - and there’s also some sort of nostalgia attached to it. Maybe you guys value and cherish each moment you’ve ever had. Super cute!

[spencerrxids]

untied shoelaces

fools (chapter 1)

main masterlist | series masterlist | next

pairing : Steve Harrington x fem!reader

genre : angst, Unrequited-Love (or is it? 👀)

warning : contains scene from Season 4 not really a spoiler cause it’s on the trailer

summary : in which you realize that Steve’s feelings for Nancy seems to remains the same even after all these years

wordcount : 2.6k

a/n : i don’t like this one. i wasn’t in the angsty mood half of the time i write this which was tbh frustrating me. i was supposed to be sad but i ended up being pissed cause i’m not sad? idk. i’m planning to make another part if you like this.

Have you ever just looked at someone and went like ‘God, I wish I were you’. If not, then congrats you are definitely not missing out on something important. But if it did happen to you before, then you might find yourself relating to this story more than you thought you would.

***

Steve Harrington is an asshole and she wished that she hated him for that. Instead, she falls for him, harder than she ever did, loving him as if she never loved before. She wished she could hate him for giving her reasons to do that. But no matter how hard she tried, the words that fell out of her mouth would still be lies while the truth remained in her shallow heart.

She is in love with Steve Harrington. There’s nothing in this world that could possibly change that, not even the fact that his heart is set on Nancy Wheeler. Maybe the two of them are more alike than she thought they were, after all, Steve and she are both falling for those whose heart only beats for the one that is not theirs. And there is no greater power out there that could possibly save them from the pain that awaits ahead of them.

She knew Steve for what feels like their whole life, except in this case, she does know him her whole life. Him? Not so much. Steve wasn’t exactly the one who would go around and shake hands with the others even when they were still preschoolers–not exactly the jerk he was going to be in High School, it’s the fact that everyone seems to love him so he never had the time to actually look around and notice her. He probably won’t even remember the first time he ever interacted with her, yet for her, the memory remains fresh as if it just happened the day before.

“Watch out.” She could hear someone yelling while she walked on the pavement, holding her backpack as she got closer and closer to the school. “You. Girl with the red backpack! Watch out.” Realizing that the person was talking to her, she freezes on the spot, eyes widening as it wanders warily around to check if there’s anything that is currently flying towards her.

Not a second later, she could feel the impact of someone crashing onto her back, her feet stumbled forwards a few steps before gaining back their balance. Swiftly, she turned around and found herself looking at a boy with rather voluminous hair for his age. A year older probably, she thought at that moment.

“You should really watch out.” He said, chest heaving up and down, an effect of chasing her down the street. A confused look came on her face, she opened her mouth slightly but her words went silent as the boy suddenly crouched down on one knee. “You really don’t realize it, huh? Your shoelace is untied. You could fell if only I didn’t warn you.” His little hands tied it back carefully before standing back up once more.

“And let me tell you this, falling because of that isn't exactly pleasing. It was rather embarrassing, it happened to me once.” He continues, furrowing his eyebrows together as a displeasing look goes up on his face—the unpleasant memory comes back into his mind. He cringed to himself. “Well, better watch your step next time.”

She continued standing here, frozen in time even though he was no longer around. “Thank you?” The words fell flat on earth as she said it to nothing but the air in front of her. A hue of red covered her face as she recalled the brief interaction. That was the day she decided that maybe, maybe Steve Harrington is someone who goes around and shakes hands with the others. She decided that the next time she saw him, she would express her gratitude for him.

When the day finally comes, she gives up the idea of it as his ‘friends’ drag him away just before she could speak out his name. Whispers about her name flew past her ear. She knows. She knows what those groups call her. Many names just for some stupid reasons. If we’re being truthful out here, she doesn’t really care about it. They were just a bunch of idiots who loved calling other people names to make themselves feel inferior to others. It’s okay, she thought. People make mistakes.

***

It was a random day in Middle School when Steve Harrington approached her for the second time, this might be the memory that comes to his mind when the topic of their first interaction comes up—which is never. She was closing her locker, ready to go back home as he suddenly leaned onto the locker beside her.

She was about to ignore him, thinking that he wasn’t there for her when he called out her name, almost hesitantly as if he wasn’t sure if it was actually her name. “Yeah, hi. I don’t think we were ever properly introduced. I’m Steve Harrington.” He ended that with an unusual smile on his face as if he is up to something not good. She doesn’t like it.

“I already know that?” The statement sounded more like a question instead. “Now if you excuse me-“

“No. No, wait. You live across from my house, right?” She went silent, not expecting him to realize that. When did he start to notice her existence? The thought of that rang in her mind. It is true what he said, that they are in fact neighbors. “And we’ve been going to the same school since elementary school.”

Preschool, she wanted to say.

“And your point is what exactly?” She raised her eyebrows at the same boy who loves to throw a little prank around the school every now and then. He’s not really the jerk she had expected him to be but the boy that goes around and shakes his hands with others.

Steve raised his point finger up in the air. “I need a……….” She couldn’t catch what he was saying at the end of his sentence as he purposely muted himself. Hesitatingly he said it once more. “I need a – I need a tutor. Not really a tutor, I guess. I just need some help with my homeworks. And your house is near and you’re smart. So why not?”

“You want me to do your homeworks?” She asked.

“Help me. Help me with my homeworks.” He replied. “Cause I’m really really really stupid with numbers. My parents are rarely home but when they do it’ll be nice if they have something to be proud of about me, you know?”

Hearing that last part of his sentence, she found herself nodding at his request. That night she went to his house and found herself stressed because God forbid Steve Harrington to understand multiplication or any subjects that contain numbers apparently. “It’s 9. The answer is literally nine. 3 times 3 is 9.” She insisted for the 2749303th time that day.

“Yeah, Sherlock, I know that. But here, it says 3 squared. It has two and three in it which means I’m right. The answer is six.” He looks at her smugly, crossing his arm to his chest as if he just solved the greatest mystery in the world. While she just looked at him, silently wondering how the hell did he pass those classes in the past. With her mouth wide open, she found herself nodding. “Wow. You really should get a brain check, Harrington. You might just solve what even Einstein himself can’t solve.”

That night, the fates decided to write their story altogether, making them quite inseparable as their line of thread stood closely next to each other but never once ever crossed. What began from a stressed tutor-dumbass student relationship grew into a genuine friendship where she found herself getting into trouble with him. Running through the market aisle like some silly pre-teenagers. His hand held hers as he dragged her away from the angry shop owner, throwing their heads back with a wide smiles plastered on their face.

Then high school comes into the picture and ruins them all. Like it always does.

***

It’s really unfair, isn’t it? Fates must be laughing at her right now. Screw them for getting her hopes up. Maybe this is it. It has come to that moment where she needs to accept the fact that their line would never cross and tangle itself with one another–connecting them for eternity. That there would always be a border between them that won’t allow their fate to cross one another.

She had to watch him slowly slipping away from her grasp as he started hanging out with Tommy H. and Carol. It’s not that bad at first, Steve tries his best to make her feel included although clearly, it’s transparent that she wanted nothing to do with his ‘friends’. When the nickname ‘King Steve’ was thrown around she had no problem with it either. Simple meaningless title.

But when he fell for Nancy. That’s – that’s when things started to fall out of place. Even then, she couldn’t bring herself to hate the girl who owns his heart, she could never. Nancy was a nice person and she was also a good friend to her. Hell, she was defending the poor girl after the shitty stunt that Steve had pulled. Driving him to the Byers’ house so he can beg for Jonathan’s forgiveness. If they hadn’t gone there, they probably won’t ever known about the other world that lay beneath them. The dark side of Hawkins. Stories about Demogorgon, Hell-ish creatures, and the girl who apparently has powers.

When Steve passed her and went to Nancy’s side, there was an ounce of disappointment in her gut. But she quickly paid no mind to it, telling herself that in the end, they’ll be the ones who are in a relationship. Her gaze fell on Jonathan as his eyes were fixed on the girl in Steve’s embrace. With a knowing smile, she nudged him. “You too, huh?” Her hand sneaked onto his back, patting him slightly. Why can’t the two turn around and see the one who actually loves them? Good news for Jonathan, Nancy looked over her shoulder for a slight moment.

When the two finally break up with all of the ‘bullshit’ incidents. She went onto Steve’s side like she always does. Keeping the brokenhearted boy close, collecting all the pieces of his heart that have been shattered to the ground the same way she has always been keeping him close to her heart. But she doesn’t think all of her efforts had any kind of an effect on him because at that time she somehow ended up with Steve and Dustin for a few days. She had heard him talking about Nancy again. God, she wishes she were Nancy. In a world full of questions, one stood out the most to her, what does it feel like to be loved by Steve Harrington? If there’s still any chance for her to feel that, even if it were just for a minute, she would trade anything for that.

Maybe I’m not the one.

Seems foolish to feel that much all for a guy whose heart doesn’t beat at the mention of her name. She knows that. She is a foolish girl. But so is Steve for feeling the same way for a girl whose heart no longer beats at the mention of his name. When he started to talk about Nancy to Dustin, she immediately distanced herself far from the two. If only she stayed a little longer, she would have heard how he talked about her.

***

Just when she thought all of those scary things were gone, the vecna problem showed up and here she was standing on the side as her eyes fixed on Steve and Nancy inside the Creel’s house. Hasn’t seen them together side by side for a long time makes her forget how much pain she could feel all at once. She cleared her throat to gain their attention, awkwardly she pointed over her shoulders. “Umm, Max was searching for you. I think she might have got something.”

Nancy throws her an awkward smile as she walks past her. Right, everyone knows. Everyone knows it all but him. She approached Steve who was still standing there looking quite out of the place. She pointed the flashlight to his face. “What was that?” She asked him, quivering her eyebrows. A disappointed look was visible on her face. “Steve, she has Jonathan in California. You should remember that.”

“What was-No. No. Yeah, I know. About Jonathan I mean.” He paused and pressed his lip into a firm line. “It’s nothing. We were just talking.” His eyes avoided hers as he put his hand on his waist.

She nodded slowly. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I really don’t. Not again, Steve.” She said with sincerity filling her tone. A heavy sigh got out from her as her eyes downcasted to the ground, frowning at the memory of him after the breakup. “I can’t have you–I can’t have you going back to her after–“ After I almost got you. “After all that happened to you back then. She is already happy with Jonathan.”

“So please I beg you right now. Don’t love the girl who wasted your feelings when there are others who would love you—who have been in love with you like how you’ve been in love with her. When there are others who would trade everything they have just to fill the empty space that was left by her in your heart.” She didn’t even realize how her voice cracks at the end of her sentence or how tears threaten to spill from her eyes. “Don’t be a fool.”

Notice me. I’m right here.

Steve stood there, almost looking as if he were a statue if it weren’t for the up and down of his chest. She shut her eyes, letting the tears escape from them, as she turned her head the other way. Unable to face the rejection of what she just accidentally implied to him. She could feel him getting closer to her. And when she opened her eyes, there he was crouching on one knee, tying the knot of her shoelace together. “Steve, I-“

“Your shoelace is untied. You could fell if I didn’t notice it.” He looks up at her with a sad smile on his face. She just stares at him, unmoving, unsure if this was a memory replaying itself in front of her cause once again, the memory of their first interaction remains fresh in her mind even a decade later. “And it’s not exactly pleasant to fall because of that reason.” He stands back up, now looking down at her with an unexplained look in his eyes. One that she can’t bear to look at cause she knows even if it was filled with rejection, she would fall harder instead.

“Thank you.” She paused for a second, before looking up at him. “For noticing me.”

For remembering what I thought was gone from your memory.

He puts his hand on her shoulder, grasping it softly before leaning down a little bit with a whisper. After that, he flashed her a quick smile before leaving the room. Leaving her alone as she stands there with nothing but pain filling her heart as silent tears escape her eyes. They are both fools indeed.

part 2 (pls tell me if you wanna be on the taglist)

[fallenangelofsalt]

rest of the coversation here if anyones curious

about mitsi (spoilers)

i know that the 1 canon fem character (orchid is just implied tbh) getting killed off is bad, but im glad her impact extends to more than just her death. she was his friend. she helped him with his trauma. she was a huge part of the creation of rocket corp far beyond simple encouragement. her dying sucks and thats a huge reason why victim is on a war path but her death is not her only impact on him.

could they have killed off agent instead? not really, she would have probably sent vicky to therapy instead of helping torture someone.

could she have been a guy instead? maybe. i think we should consider the fact she would have been created during relatively early internet, and the especific relationship she had with vicky leans a lot on her personality being kind, cheerful and gentle, things that at the time would often be seen as "girly".

overall, yeah, it sucks but i get why they did it, and at least she wasnt just a random girl he liked. she was so much more than that, romantic or not. shes more than a tragedy and i hope we can see more of her impact in future eps.

in conclusion: gold got fridged harder.

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oooh I do see your point and that does make a lot of sense you're cooking with this one. It does ease my mind to see it broken down like this! A lot of points I disliked have just been thankfully kindly quelled.

The issue is there's nothing to say that she... wouldn't go and help torture someone, I think? Like, yeah obviously outwardly she probably wouldn't, but her only character traits are really what you listed - "Kind, cheerful, and gentle." And that's only to the first person she's ever met, you know? Who's to say she treats everyone like that? Who's to say she wouldn't lash out the same way, or even worse, to trauma?

That's just my opinion though. I feel like it would've been nice to see her grow, change, or be elaborated on as a character, especially because Victim's motivation of revenge against those who's tormented him and then loving his other creations is a little more compelling to me personally than another I Need To Destroy Them Like They Destroyed My (whatever).

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true, we dont know a lot about her. she is constantly shown helping others though, so much it played an important role in her death. trauma could change that, but it would probably take a lot more than one death.

i dont see victims motivations changing all that much though. alan is still the main target, this just explains why chosen was tortured. mitsi isnt his only reason for revenge, but she was the one thing holding him back from going for it sooner. victim was traumatized beyond belief but was shown moving past it for her. now shes gone and agent wont stop him like she did.

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But I don't think Alan IS the main target, I think? He likely started spiraling and needing more info on the Cursor after she died because she's the one who helped with that, but I dont think he wanted to actually kill the cursor until after he found out Chosen and The Cursor were working together, that he could use one to find the other--he wanted to hurt and capture Chosen. I think Alan at this point is just... tying the final knot in the end.

You're right that Agent won't stop him, but Victim never showed signs of wanting to get revenge on the cursor, only... pictures of the torment it caused him. While it can be reasonably assumed she would stop him from torturing people, considering helping was one of her main ideologies, she's also the one who acts first, and emboldends Victim.

If Victim were to try and take out a dangerous criminal, someone who tortured sticks, who might do so again? Who's to say she'd be opposed? She likes Agent, a cop, after all--is Victim not doling out justice against someone greater than thieves?

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good point. tbh this might just be me not wanting to let go of victims more interesting motivation. i like to think mitsi isnt the only reason hes doing this, just the straw that broke the camels back.

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genuinely yeah that's fair. It is a more compelling reason, and I doubt it's for Mitsi alone. After all, the cursor never did anything to Mitsi, and seeing Chosen and the cursor just standing next to each other for like 2 seconds isn't enough to make a jump like that (even if it was accurate that they were working together). It probably is Vic's own experiences with Alan and the grief he feels over Mitsi-it's a good combo of the two. He healed, and now he's not scared of the cursor. Now he's almost embodying it. It's got me wondering how the rest of the series is going to go nbmxvbmxbv

dude my tumblr is breaking and I can tell youre replying to the post but I genuinely cannot see it im so sorry

its okay mine is funky too. (screenshot of reply under the cut)

(for people with screen reader: and i still think alan is the main target. chosen wasnt the only one drawn on the wall, so clearly theres some resentment there already, and the revelation that the cursor not only made (or found) another stick, but a powered stick, and is clearly treating it better than him, thats got to sting. chosen was made better. treated better(he thinks). and once again victim is left with nothing. i dont think its fair to boil everything down to "you killed my wife, prepare to die")

i sent this one before i read your reply

and yeah i like to think theres at least some jealousy fueling him along with the grief. anger is kind of a given, but i think the reason why he seemed suddently angrier after secs power reveal is because oh come on hes the only one who didnt get powers!? hows that fair!?