#in case i'm missing anything

[mindsmade]

⁶⁾ a hospital waiting room with only one other person in it ( for Shawson perhaps 👀 )

meme

A lone salarian sits at the far end of the row of chairs lining the clinic's wall. Something about that sight almost stirs Aiden to pity — almost. It's not a feeling that's easily cultivated in him, with his war-torn heart hardened and its capability for empathy flattened because of it.

Still, with nothing but another lengthy wait ahead of them and an anxiety-infused silence between himself and Miranda for now, his mind begins to wander — and wonder, at that.

Another victim of the war, herself? Or is she awaiting news from one, locked away in a room a few doors down the hall?

The answer eludes him, and so he drops the matter. There's a whole world turned to ash out there, beyond the panoramic window spanning the width of the wall his bed – with him in it – was placed beside.

He'd get up and pace around if he could, but that's the entire point of the awkward position he finds himself in: will he be able to walk again at all? More at five, he supposes — literally. Ten more minutes of waiting for the radiologist to call them in.

It's not for a lack of trying, at least — on both ends. She'd poured all of that unique expertise of hers into his recovery ( again ), most of all when he was out cold for weeks on end ( ... again ).

His part in that recovery only followed after waking. He did the damned exercises he's been given; he did drag himself behind a walker and let a VI jammed into a mechanical body do the hardest work for him when told to, both at immense cost to his pride.

'Promising,' they'd said. All he heard ( or felt, at least ) was 'disappointing'.

And Miri'd tried to get him to see the good in his progress, or to recognize that there'd been any at all. This is just meant to be the beginning — but it's all too slow for him.

These things take time.

Too much of it, to his mind. He's told her that, too.

She hadn't said anything after that, just like she isn't saying anything now. The silence beckons his attention towards her and away from himself. That, somehow, opens his eyes to something that seems all too obvious now that it's revealed itself to him: she's there with him — not only physically, here, in this almost-empty hallway; she's with him in this uncertainty, too.

He'd kick himself if only he could.

Will this keep him from trying to isolate his pain discomfort in the future? Doubtful. But maybe he'll come to his senses before the silences – caused by his pigheadedness – stretch on for too long.

❛  Hey,  ❜ Shepard ushers after another moment, reaching out a rough hand. Its palm faces up, resting on the railing. ❛  It'll be all right.  ❜

A white lie? Not necessarily. Even if the worst should come to pass, they would be fine, somehow. The fact that they lived to see this very day is more than he'd even dared hope for before the Reapers kicked the bucket.

He just needs to start finding the good in a life without legs, and fast, if he is to beat his inevitable disappointment to the punch. His, and Miri's.

That might be the worst of it all, should they receive bad news: she'll be stuck with him like ... this.

Aiden clears his throat, hell-bent on ridding himself of the thought altogether. It'll find its way back to him when nighttime rolls around again.

Just as he's about ready to admit defeat in that respect at least, he catches another glimpse of the salarian down the hall. This time, she's hunched over, face held in her hands.

To this day, he still doesn't know if salarians cry; if they can cry, or even feel the urge to.

He doesn't linger on that thought for too long. The grounding weight of Miri's hand in his won't allow him. It instead draws his gaze right back to her, where he finds those ocean-blues staring right back at him. An uncomfortable cocktail of sympathy and obliviousness stirs inside of him.

❛  At least we've still got each other, huh?  ❜

[b4kuch1n]

hahaha wheee haha

[cosmicdenro]

meet my silly crow :D

[shadyvoidhologram]

I was laying in bed overthinking, as you do, and started to go on a depressive doom spiral. And then, to distract myself I started thinking about the things I like.

[Spoilers and some gross details incoming, you know what Mouthwashing is about]

So, eventually I started thinking about Curly being in a similar headspace as I was, laying down, incapable of doing anything, constantly in pain and hearing time and time again how quickly things are going to shit and that it's all your fault.

Him replaying his mistakes over and over on his head, imagining the many ways things could've gone a different way if only he had done something instead of ignoring the issues to "keep the peace".

Remembering every interaction that led to the accident, Anya's confession, his friends poorly disguised resentment, him ignoring and filtering details of his crew's mental state, her taking the gun, the notice, Jimmy.

Him being a coward and disguising his hate of confrontation with the guise of being a good friend.

And then comming back to reality, to is burning flesh. To the blood, shit and bile staining the bandages, robe and bed, to watching and hearing his friends suffer and die, unable to do anything.

When the kid dies, in the midst of all the emotional chaos, he feels some sick sense of relief knowing that probably Swansea will deal with both of them quickly and it'll be over at last.

Then Jimmy finds the gun.

And he can't help but laugh. He remembers the conversation they had and he cackles bitterly because not even in death can her wishes be respected. She trusted him and he failed her even after she was gone.

Soon enough it's just the two of them left.

Through muffled ears he hears Jimmy rambling, talking to himself, asking questions and answering right after, he sees him moving the bodies around. When Jimmy carries him from the infirmary to the common room table he's still as stone, not a sound leaves his mouth, he doesn't look at the bodies thrown on the chairs around the table, he doesn't even breathe.

But all of Jimmy's attention, hatred, idolatry, and envy are on him only. Eyes glossy, cut pieces of a one sided conversation and a tentative smile on his lips when he reaches for the slightly dented knife.

He screams until his lungs close and his throat burns. When he's fed parts of himself he cries and throws up until he is forced to swallow and keep it down.

He's dehidrated, half delirious from the blood loss and emotionally checked out when Jimmy picks him up and tells him they can still fix this, he knows what to do. That he's going home.

Sure, he thinks, he wants to go home.

When he's placed on the cryopod he just stares at Jimmy talk to himself at him some more, about being heroes and everything being all right now. Then he steps out of sight.

It's on the silence after the loud bang when his brain starts working again, he's completely and utterly alone on a crashed ship of a company that's closing it's doors, with a now depleted shipment that wasn't even important enough to guarantee a search party, and no way of fending for himself in the case of 20 years passing and no one coming, even less if the power gave out before that.

As the cryopod finally starts to cool, the few tears he has left fall from his remaining eye.

He hopes he doesn't wake up to see what happens next.

..ok see y'all when I wake up-

[jnpje]

does anyone have any advice or personal success stories about unmasking. I'm realizing how tightly my real self is locked up and I'm going to fix it. and i would really like to hear other people's experiences.

for the last two or three years i tried to make my new years wish be about being more true to myself. and every time i just crashed and burned. but this year is going to be different. my new years wish is to stop masking my true self all the time. I'm really gonna do it this year!!!!!!!

[ryanshida]

kaito kuroba i would die for u

[kindahoping4forever]

Ashton performing with Eternity Speedway @ Desert 5 Spot LA - 11 April 2024

[riddlerosehearts]

don't know if this will be useful to anyone else, but i thought i'd share it on here just in case--i made a google drive folder of what i believe is all a3! event CGs starting from special edition: dollhouse (october 2022), up to postman delivering thoughts (august 2024). the reason it starts at that specific point is because that's where yaycupcake's CG album ends, and originally i just wanted to know who was featured in each one so i could list them in my personal event spreadsheet but then i figured i have to find all these CGs to get that info in the first place, so i might as well keep them saved somewhere! especially since i ended up having to search several different places for them, which is why the sizing and quality of them is inconsistent. a lot of the CGs from this year's events were sent to me by @fea-therlight221, so shoutout to them for their help!! i'd also like to keep updating this with future event CGs as i find them.

[bittersweet-zarzamora]

i was listening to Death Grips and had this idea :D

it was supposed to be a warmup but i got too invested ><

[silasthecreature]

I think spending two weeks existing in the outdoors during the summertime could fix me. Maybe.

[coquelicoq]

watching cdramas with french subtitles is the best idea i ever had. if the show is in a language i don't speak i'm already going to have to be closely reading the subtitles, so why not also use it as language practice? the subs go by so fast i don't have time to translate them internally into english, i just have to absorb the meaning without doing that (which is how it's supposed to work but i've never been fully able to do that before). AND the best part is that when i'm going about my day i'm finding that some of my internal monologue is just in french now?? i think it's because subs are almost entirely dialogue...i'm getting hours of dialogue practice without actually having to converse. it's also fun with cdramas specifically because i have by now picked up some chinese vocabulary from watching tv and i get to see how that vocabulary is translated into french. idk man i'm just having a great time.

[litafan4ever]

Cora Jade - WWE NXT (December 12, 2023)

[ourceliumnetwork]

i think i'm like. really in denial sometimes about how much pain i'm just Casually In...

OH NO WAIT HANG ON WAIT ACTUALLY MY MEDICINE WORE OFF AND I DID LIKE A LOT OF UNANTICIPATED ACTIVITY NEVER MIND I'M DUMB I'M HURTING FOR ACTUAL REASONS THIS TIME

[fitzfunnymoments]

Behold. Anthro designs for the dipshit brothers™️ (I've had the sudden urge to rewatch Catscratch because of nickelodeon scene it)

[sysig]

Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)

[aromantyczno-liryczna]

Buy me a coffee

THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR LIKE TWO HOURS ASKING FOR THINGS IS LITERALLY MY WORST FEAR BUT FUCK IT WE BALL

my mum could really use £30-40 for groceries. We've spent a lot of money fixing stuff this month like replacement pipes and central heating (that really should be our landlord's responsibility..). She only has £150 left but we've still got bills to pay later this month so not much to spend on food and other necessities. Universal credit + her wage doesn't get paid until the end of the month (something is coming next week too but idr) 🥲

Usually we ask family and close friends for borrowing money but no one has been able to lend any aaa

No pressure to donate whatsoever — but if you have some extra money, any support would be greatly appreciated mwah <3