#in a sense! in the sense that all my dazaiisms are in some way dzthesis. this one's hamlet-filtered opheliaism.

[ojirocardigansniper]

impostign a poem this is straight up An Event .

watched cj da fucking x clip in my skills tag (what its FOR.) and resolutely i picked a poem to edit and post. ifyou like bsd pwease know its about my unrequited (in the same way) odazai crazy. if you don't then it's loosely about a teenager propositioning his older friend/mentor. and also he fundamentally believes he isn't worthy of human tenderness or something. anyway. i included some layers in the form, and there is a subtext (i don't know how easy to pick up if youdon't know the. characters though) you might enjoy reading it a couple times. :) pwease letme know if you read it! and anything you liked or thought. i love yuo

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meaningless touch, you wish he would, but he wouldn't; you are too young (too empty). can't really look that in the eyes for long. what about not looking? attempting touch? no. it wouldn't be meaningless. so it can't happen. out beyond pretense of safety or comfort. (sick and ugly, to let it pretend to mean nothing.) either you're a heavy / empty symbol or a real and living child. child? debatable. (but on enough axes to leave the argument spinning, an unpleasant taste in his better mouth.) one can have and still be lonely. not satisfied, cold. (who else would willingly spend time around the deep hole of you?) he harbors a level of understanding that isn't admitted, but you know he sees in your shape his starving youth— the mirror across the bar. (you're too much a symbol of too many things, and you'd never give enough of yourself up— do you even have enough to give?— to wipe away the refractions.) to touch without safety, without comfort- that couldn't be meaningless. (like laying down beside a sleep-paralysis demon, wide awake.) he tells you, almost grave—  it's been considered. (and deemed too dangerous.) you won't get what you want, in truth or in lie, little pit trap.

thanks for. reading :) i love you