#in SCC's shop with the menu covering K_K's face: “I can't see!”

[marketableplushieenthusiast]

Update: booted up Ch 2 to check on my saves, and proceeded to panic because neither was in the mansion or the basement.

I opened the one with fewer hours in the middle of Cyber City, and finally realized I could check my inventory to confirm if I had accidentally saved over his fight or not. Thankfully, I had no Dealmakers, and the Loaded Disk sat securely in my key items, but then why was I in the middle of the city instead of the basement?

And as I stared at my armor, I began to wonder why I had so many Amber Cards. And then it hit me.

I was trying to fill my inventory so he would yell at me after the fight.

So I guess I have that to do.

Inside me are two wolves.

One recognizes the Spamton NEO fight as horrifying and disturbing, even spared on a regular route, both for Spamton himself and Kris (or whoever gets slotted in the betrayed player spot in the dozen different crossover AUs I have bouncing around my brain). It is his ultimate mental breakdown, the freedom he wanted all this time being just out of reach, so he turns on the one person who went out of their way to help him. Kris is terrified and disheartened, but fights for their life anyway, and just when it looks like they got through to him - just as Spamton realizes that, for once, someone didn't give up on him - he falls. Because that's what happens when a puppet's strings are abruptly, forcibly cut. And Kris gets to see this play out right in front of them. Spamton's only hope is to give up his desperation, his passion, his hope that has kept him going all this time, and settle for less, and Kris is notably distraught afterwards. And I know all this. It's why I became so obsessed with it in the first place.

The other wolf freaking loves the thing. Gets all excited and giddy just thinking about it. The cutscene lead up is so terrifyingly, awesomely tense, the music SLAPS, the yellow soul mechanics and attacks are so FUN. Despite the meta storytelling - the very reason I love Deltarune and Undertale so much - silently judging it, I have a save file set permanently before the Spamton NEO fight just so I can go refight him. (And I am THIS CLOSE to booting it up rn-)

The inherent contradiction of being invested in the characters' perspectives and arcs and wanting to take them seriously, but also wanting to go replay some of their most traumatic moments for FUN because WHEEEEEEEEEEE-

Ugh.