#imo this is one of the biggest appeals of theatre

[lacrimosathedark]

I was gonna wait for you to clarify what you don't like about it but fuck it I'll just do it. But I'm more writing this as understanding why people enjoy it rather than trying to actually change your mind.

There's a lot of factors that just kinda smash together to form this Thing.

Be warned: this is EXTREMELY long because I am thorough and incapable of shutting the fuck up.

First and probably biggest being they are both beloved characters. People have loved Alastor since he first appeared on screen, and Lucifer is lovable and adorable and honestly far too relatable. And honestly I've seen some theatre people fawning over Jeremy Jordan's voice and I get that. Two well-loved characters squished together = happy fans.

Then there's what initially got me hooked: the irony/joke to genuine pipeline. Like when you do something "for the lolz" enough, you'll start just...doing it. And "Charlie's two dads are fighting" is what that was for me. I thought their dynamic was hilarious and them both playing "dad", the jokes wrote themselves. This is compounded with the new Hotel's design having them seemingly on opposite ends of the same floor, leading to "and they were roommates" type jokes.And then I saw some fanart and started actually thinking about it, and was hooked.

You can't put two characters faces this close and not expect SOMEONE to ship them.

A pretty big factor imo is Lucifer's minimal shipping pool. Plenty of people ship with absolutely no basis, but most ships stem from canon dynamics, so the characters have to interact at least once. Lucifer hasn't interacted with a lot of characters, so the pool of options is in that regard limited to Alastor and Adam, plus off-screen Lilith and possibly Eve.

He and Lilith have been separated for a while we know very little about her, and we know nothing about Eve. Adam is an insufferable dickhead and presumably dead, but he is actually shipped with Lucifer pretty frequently.

Alastor meanwhile is a fan favorite character who is a jackass, but has rules and a decorum about him. I'm sure Lucifer will get other ships as we see him interact with people (I am certain people will try to ship him with Angel and/or Husk) but Alastor is who he has interacted with most.

I also just like the idea of Lucifer being able to move on after Lilith, and with his limited suitor pool, Alastor is, well, the most equipped. So that or being happy and independent alone are where I'm personally at.

Of Alastor's bigger shipping options, Lucifer seems like it'd be, surprisingly, the healthiest. Radiodust can be weird because Angel is hypersexual while Alastor is incredibly uptight, plus his multiple rejections of the very notion. Mimzy, while a dear friend, does demonstrably use him for her own gain. Husk would have some pretty icky vibes to it given Alastor owns him. Even Lilith, people think he's signed a contract with her so being owned is again a problem. I pretend Charlastor doesn't exist because Vaggie and Dad Beat Dad no hate it just icks me

The biggest ones remaining are Rosie and Vox.

It seems the consensus that Rosie and Alastor give off "platonically married" vibes. And honestly, if Alastor felt a way about her, she would know and someone would have done something about it. So generally they're shipped queerplatonic.

Vox is incredibly toxic and doesn't give a single fuck about boundaries. He is actively stalking Alastor. He is in a relationship with a literal pimp, and he knows how Val treats his "employees". He throws a huge temper tantrum over the idea that Alastor is back and immediately starts slandering him. Their rivalry stems from Alastor rejecting Vox, in a business and possibly personal sense. Vox is also very sexual (see: fucking Valentino) while Alastor is, again, very reserved in that regard.

There is a certain appeal to RadioStatic, given Vox's desperate "notice me senpai" attitude morphed into intense wounded resentment, and the idea that whatever broke their friendship apart hurt Alastor too, and reconciliation is a nice thought. And Vox is an awesome and hilarious character and people love him too. It just never really worked for me. (tbh before seeing the one on-screen look, I lowkey shipped Vox with Angel because trauma bonding over Valentino's bullshit or something)

Lucifer meanwhile is a fucking sweetheart, and while I don't think he necessarily wouldn't cross people's boundaries, there are some I don't see him crossing. If Alastor said he wasn't interested in a sexual relationship, Lucifer seems more the type to accept that, as opposed to Vox who might take it personally or be coercive. And Lucifer's been hung up on Lilith for however long they've been apart, 7 years at the VERY least, so I don't think much would change for him anyhow.

This is also why I think a good amount of Radioapple fans happen to be ace-spec. Alastor being canonically ace, it makes him a viable vehicle for someone to explore how a relationship dynamic might work for them. It's a way to think about how an asexual person would interact with romance and sex in a committed relationship. Projection in general happens in every fandom. It's also a ship that is surprisingly respectful of the character's canon sexuality, which is really refreshing.

Like, if you look at AO3, practically all of those fics are tagged for Alastor being some flavor of asexual, mostly Sex Repulsed or Non-Sex Repulsed Asexual Alastor or Aromantic Asexual Alastor, but also sprinkles of Demisexual Alastor and Greysexual Alastor. And a lot of fics actively incorporate Alastor's lack of attraction into the story, be it him experiencing no sexual attraction but romantic attraction or interest in platonic intimacy, or experiencing sexual attraction for possibly the first time. As an ace-spec person myself, people writing like that make me feel a little bit more seen and accepted and it's really nice.

Then there's canon. There is actually a little bit in canon to build on, especially for people who like the Rivals/Enemies->Lovers trope (which is made more interesting with Vox's Friends/Lovers->Enemies trajectory comparatively)

Their interactions are genuinely enjoyable. They have a really funny back and forth and their snarky back and forth is fun to watch, if nothing else.

The thing that got me after the jokes was Lucifer is the first person to make Alastor lose his composure, and he isn't even trying. Like, Alastor does get peeved and pissy, but he can usually hide it. When Vox is slandering him, there is one moment when no one is looking that he looks genuinely angry, but it's gone quickly and he mocks Vox in a casual uncaring way to give off the vibe that he's unaffected.

But Alastor, for some reason, is irritated from the moment Charlie opens the door.

And then when he actually interacts with Lucifer, their back and forth is pretty low effort at least on Lucifer's end, and yet it gets Alastor to drop his first curse word in the series.

Alastor swears a total of 4 times in the series thus far at three people: Adam, Lucifer, and Susan.

He calls Susan an "ornery old bitch" probably because, well, she is. And the way he says it is casual, like he's said something like that about Susan before lmao. And Alastor is genuinely happy around Rosie where he isn't with others so casually dropping a curse is more natural.

With Adam, he swears once when he is letting loose ("I'm about to end your fucking life."), and once when he's caught off guard ("What just happened? Ffffffuck.")

With Lucifer, that "Fuck you" feels like it comes out of nowhere, especially since Alastor hasn't sworn in all of four prior episodes. He spent HALF of the season not swearing and this is what does it. Lucifer didn't even really try and he's gotten under Alastor's skin in record time. And that can feel like something to explore, especially with someone as controlled and secretive as Alastor. If Lucifer can cause a crack in his mask, how far could that go?

There's also that before Alastor starts going for the throat by praising Charlie, Lucifer is having fun.

I am obsessed with what Lucifer's eyes do in this scene.

And this little play fight comes right on the heels of

so him having fun is nice to see because yowch depression is a bitch.

And then he also gets so mad at Alastor and he makes just...the funniest faces.

Sure, Lucifer is also kinda just Like That but...it's endearing lol

Also, if you're listening, in Hell's Greatest Dad, the more Alastor bothers Lucifer, the more genuine he gets. Like he has this general facade that you can hear in his voice that's like he's trying to mix a professional kingly persona and the dad he thinks Charlie wants (it's almost like his equivalent to the "Customer Service Voice"), and by the end of the song, that tone has dropped, if only for a moment. The only other time he really drops it is the entirety of More Than Anything.

Alastor is also someone who just doesn't treat Lucifer like "royalty", which could be refreshing if most of his interactions are as the "King of Hell" and people are falsely respectful to him all the time. Alastor meanwhile despite being substantially weaker, is willing to talk shit to Lucifer's face. This also means that if Alastor were to ever compliment Lucifer, he'd know it's genuine and not empty flattery because Alastor would rather die than treat him as a superior. And that honesty could mean a lot for Lucifer.

And then there's the additional drama that is Lilith. Lucifer is clearly still hung up on her, not just keeping portraits with her in them, but still wearing his wedding band after who knows how long and presumably no contact for at least seven years. Alastor's disappearance coincides with Lilith's, implying they're connected in some way, either working together or her owning his soul being the most common theories. Like, how heartbreaking would it be for Lucifer to finally move on only for that person having been in close contact with his ex and never telling him? How painful would it be for Alastor to develop feelings when he is at the beck and call of his interest's last and first love? There's so much drama in just that, not even touching on the other traumas these two have.

And then there's even just the possibility of Alastor just being Lucifer's "type" due to his surface similarities to Lilith. Tall, poised, domineering, proud, elegant, powerful, powers associated with sound (singing vs radio), and probably more I'm not thinking of off the top of my head.

The consistency of height difference in the Hellaverse. Blitz and Stolas, Fizz and Ozzie, Lucifer and Lilith, Husk and Angel, Vox and Val (if only because Val is freakishly tall), Niffty and literally anyone, and to a lesser degree Vaggie and Charlie, and Blitz and Verosika. Off the top of my head, the only big ships that are close in height are Millie and Moxxie, and Cherri and Pentious. And Alastor and Vox if you want to count them. Pattern recognition be recognitioning.

According to the wiki at least, Viv once said Alastor like people who are similar to him, but not too similar, and I think that actually describes Lucifer pretty well. It's the idea of the two of them constantly making awful wordplay jokes that has me honestly.

And the last thing I'll say is that Amir Talai makes jokes about it and it's really funny if I'm being honest.

That took way too much of my brain energy lol but I hope that helps someone understand if nothing else.

I don’t like radioapple change my mind

[mystomachfeelsawful]

4:10 PM

I can’t say a lot of things for lots of reasons.

TOP 5 (which I can talk about). In no order.

PLAYS

The Last Wife was my biggest surprise of the year. I went into it thinking I’d hate it, but was charmed by the pace of the script, the quick staging, the ensemble and pretty much everything about it.

Passing Strange made me actually appreciate a musical which I’ve long hated. 

Prince Hamlet made me get Hamlet for the first time. 

Fish Eyes Trilogy was a masterclass in BAM.

Superior Donuts had one of my favourite fights I’ve ever seen on a Toronto Stage. Corner Gas meets violence. So much heart and an incredible set.

BONUS CREDITS: Delirium, Pearle Harbour’s Chataqua, True North Mixtape, Less, Dolphin, 

FILMS

3 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Loved how you cared about every single character. 

Lady Bird - Coming of Age done right. So economic aside from a kind of extra ending.

Get Out - I’ve never seen Luke cry in a theatre before or an entire theatre cheer when a hero finally gets his justice. I’ve also never felt as relieved as I did when the ending came. So well thought out.

Baby Driver - Style for dayyys. Jamie Foxx, Eiza Gonzalez and John Hamm kill it.

The Disaster Artist - Made me sniffle a bit I loved how they didn’t go for the cheap laugh in making fun of Tommy Wiseau. You really get that he tried to make this movie in spite of his utter lack of ability.

Bonus Credits: It, The Florida Project, Ingrid Goes West, Coco, Shape of Water, Logan, Wonder Woman, A Silent Voice, Your Name

Games

Dragon Age Inquisition - I sunk 80 hours into this and still haven’t beaten it.My quinari mage will reign someday.

Persona 5(!) - Futaba’s social link is probably my favourite social link in all personas because it deals with anxiety, trauma and agoraphobia in a way that I dunno....just works for me. I also love how you’re actually an underdog in this one. Everyone hates you because you’re a criminal, so the bonds you form are actually REAL. Sure there’s a load of problematic stuff (which is IMO, more a problem with Japanese RPGs as a whole regarding the way they treat women and queer folk), and the villains are saturday morning cartoon characters, and the plot falls apart at the end, but I think the idea of a bunch of losers banding together will ALWAYS appeal to me. It’s the only Persona where i cared about the main story more than the social links. In fact, it’s also the only persona where I didn’t want to romance anyone because they seemed like real, cool, people.

Breath of the Wild (my first Zelda! - If Studio Ghibli and Skyrim had a baby. I loved how the story existed if you sought it out, but wasn’t there if you didn’t make an effort to find it. I loved Zelda’s character development. I loved how much PERSONALITY the world had and how sparse it was. I didn’t like the young female voice acting (why are they speaking in their headvoice). And that SCORE THOUGH.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mETAEJY_rk8 

Tales of Berseria - Combat was completely underwhelming and the backtracking sucked, but there was something so endearing about playing as antagonists that I really appreciated. Especially considering how in the first hour you burn half a bishonen’s face off. I also cried like a baby. Next to Abyss, one of the best Tales stories for me. Too bad the combat is broken and the world is boring af. If only they could have the world of Vesperia, the story of Abyss/Vesperia and the combat of Graces (which they almost did, but Velvet breaks the game), then we’d be set. Also, get Go Shiina back. Motoi needs a break.

Doki Doki Literature Club - Um. Yeah. I beat this 12 hours ago and can’t stop thinking about it. 2017′s undertale for me. I loved how not only it bent the game save file, but also fucked with the game files itself. One of the more interesting meta narratives I’ve come across. It also raises (though could be explored deeper) some of the problematic elements of moe visual novels, especially in that Monika seems to be unable to control how much she loves you due to her programming. Monika’s awareness that she’s in a game and her frustration toward her affection toward the player created some neat subtext in terms of female characters’ agency vs how they’re written. Super well thought out. 

Experiences 

2017 was a year of trust for me. Trusting myself, processes and knowing when to let things be. 

Silk Bath - continues to be an unexpected surprise. We nearly sold out our entire NSTF run and have a little residency through tarragon’s workspace program. I also think that we’re finally learning what the heart of the play is about and how to work together as a collective. 

Bathtub Girls/Weesageechak/Cahoots - I got my first pro dramaturgy gig this year and finally worked with artists who I’ve never met before. AHHH. Both experiences were illuminating in radically different ways. I think, if anything, working as a dramaturg has given me the ability to trust in other artists more. From the work with the foremen, to being in natural resources and now training as a dramaturg, I’d like to think I’m becoming a better collaborator and facilitator rather than dictator director. Madeleine Says Sorry this summer (an unexpected hit) had a very different directorial process because I feel I trusted the artists more than I usually do. I still have my usual rigor, but sometimes letting things happen and planting seeds is better than bluntly throwing someone down a corridor so to speak. 

Knife - continues to be developed at Factory. I’ve never been in development with a script this long, but it’s so informative to be in a process where a company is invested in it’s development first rather than rushing it to the stage. It’s been all sorts of challenging in ways where I feel I’ve almost got it, but then missed, or moments where I think I’ve blown it and it actually works. I think one of my biggest realizations from 2016 was that I can’t rush work out. And with Knife, I’m learning the benefits of taking my time, but also what a longer commitment feels like when the inside (does that sound gross). As it continues to shift and change, I’m excited to see where it goes. It’s good also knowing that someone has your back. I’m going into a workshop in April, but there’s still loads more work to do, which is both daunting and exciting.

I NOW KNOW HOW TO MAKE BEEF STEW WITH TENDER MEAT - So like not really an accomplishment, but fuck it, it’s actually a big one. Beef Stew is my favourite food of maybe all time. More than sushi, more than pasta, more than anything. My family on my mom’s side used to run the only Chinese restaurant in levack. They had to feed miners, so they learned how to make their food. It’s a family recipe that’s not really a secret, but no one knows how to make it as good as my Poi Poi. My version is a little different, but it tastes great! - and this is weird - it makes me feel more a part of my family than anything else. 

Knowing when to leave - I left two theatre companies I helped found this year. There are a lot of reasons associated with this (both personal and not so personal), but I think I’m figuring out what I want as an artist and my personal ethos in making work. And there’s some things I’m not willing to compromise.

2017 was a development year, but strangely enough by NOT putting out so much work, I feel even more connected to my community and my peers through my work. I feel like - if just a little - I’m more present in shows and conversations. But most importantly, I think I’m not trying as hard as I used to. I’m trying to let my work speak for itself and live a normal, beef stewy life.

Onwards!