#imho it's unsustainable and overcrowding

[mxnd-infxction]

anyways vent under cut lulz

i'm so sick of this shit. i just want to leave sc and be fucking legitimately happy with my life FOR FUCKING ONCE. but NOOOOOOOO. god FUCKING forbid. my mom has the fucking audacity to say i'll live with her till i'm 25. i turn 21 in november. do you REALIZE how long of a time that is? shit, i might as well st4rv3 to hurt myself instead of doing it to like what i see in the mirror. i'm not some possession of hers for her to drag around, pick up and bring along with her to wherever she might move to.

like, did she forget we still have till next summer (when we sell the house) (the only thing set in stone about this whole thing) to think about these things? if it comes up again, it sure as hell won't be me who started the conversation. i don't have the time, energy, or mental capacity to deal with her shit again and again.

and shit, i might actually move to las vegas if she keeps pissing me off. i don't really want to because of the distance and logistics (cross-country? packing all this shit? lmao no thanks!)

apparently she also told my dad i want to move to atlanta, and he went surprisingly easy on me compared to my mom. he did say "don't move because of a man", and even though that's absolutely not the kind of dynamic i have with V, it's still solid advice. his biggest concern (from what he told me) is the traffic, which is understandable. it's notoriously bad down there. (idk, at least ATL has an established metropolitan-city-population compared to where i live now)

i'm just tired of this being a possible future for me. i don't want to think of the future and have that hanging over my head because all it does is make me worse. i've been in the closet since i realized i was queer, why should i have to suffer in that way too, living with my mom? i just can't handle this. i can't do this anymore. just... my god.