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sabo-has-my-heart · 1 year ago

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Dear Astra,

This is two part anon. Hope you are doing okay. I've come back from hell (lol just kidding, I got a heavy fever for like a week, and then spent the next 2 weeks catching up with my homework). How are you? I've learned it the hard way that you should always drink enough fluids, so remember your daily water!

During my time in bed, I thought of a cute fic idea that I'd love to tell you (not that I'm urging you to write, I just wanna talk). Reader and Sabo are both serious workers in the RA. However, whenever they have time alone, Sabo'll turn into a huge size golden retriever, with the puppy eyes yearning for reader's touch and praise. (Aizzzzz I melted while fantasizing about this, like imagine Sabo goes "Y/N~ pat my head, please" while kneeling down hugging reader's waist. OH GOD I'M DYING). Oh I also have a fantasy for Ace, which is nsfw :^) (can't help it ig, I'm not telling it if you're not curious tho, since I know sharing these +18 thoughts can be a bit 'meh' to some people)

Also I've spent a huge amount of time gaming while being sick and found myself a new husbando alongside Ace ehehe it's Roland from Punishing Gray Raven if you wanna check it out.

I'm curious if you like listening to music or not? I've been into a Japanese band recently, which is a surprise because I've rarely heard any Japanese song. But I love them and I hope they'll get more love (just like the way I love you *wink wink* lol)

I think it's because I've done everything that I'm so hyped now. I feel like this message is too long and full of random bs. But yeahhhh boiiiii, I finished everything today, I'm so happy.

Oh yeah, recently you posted a delete announcement that freaks the loving Ace out of me. I'm sorry for what you had to go through but half of me was like "not the Ace fics, not the Ace fics, please please anything but the Ace fics"

Sorry if these topics are so random, I'm just sharing my 'highlights in life' with you. Idk maybe because it makes me happy I hope it makes you happy too. Aight my hype has calmed down, Imma take my leave. Have a great day/night. Best wishes to whatever you're doing and PLEASE REMEMBER TO STAY HYDRATED (sorry if it's too aggressive, I'll stop if you don't like it. It's just that I've been through the worst because of it so I don't want you to experience that) Aight, this is already longer than my project essay, see you!

I finally got around to writing something!!! So it's not as long as some of my others things and definately not as long as I would have liked, however, considering I'm sleep deprived, can't sleep, and haven't written in months, I'm not displeased with it!

Warnings: FLUFF!!!

Word Count: 980

Smiling, you ran your hands through Sabo’s wavy blond locks as he snuggled his head into your stomach. While the two of you both worked hard, highly dedicated to the Army’s cause, you both sometimes wished to spend more time together like this. In the privacy of your room, you could both relax, let down your guards, and be vulnerable. Sabo never hid who he was, he was always true to himself, to his dreams and aspirations, to his desires, hobbies, and interests; that being said, this was a side only you ever saw. Here, in the safety of your room, he allowed himself to melt into your embrace, to yearn for your praise, and to nuzzle into your touch; as if he was a touch starved child and not the strong, independent, second-in-command of the RA. A blond haired, lovesick, human puppy.

“Did I do alright on the last mission?” he asked softly, nuzzling against you even more, arms tightening around your waist, making you laugh slightly. You knew exactly what he was after. It wasn’t like you minded and it wasn’t like he was purposefully seeking your attention and praise in an annoying manner, but hearing you say it always made his heart skip a beat and his stomach flutter.

“You did more than alright, you did spectacularly. A perfect 10/10 like always.” you said, caressing his cheek as he let out a pleased, content noise as he attempted to snuggle further into your stomach.

“You know I always try my best for you.” he said softly, his words muffled by your stomach.

“Oh? So you don’t give your all simply for the RA?” you teased, making him whine. He knew you were teasing, but part of him felt a lump form in his throat, as if he’d disappointed you for only giving his 100% for you.

“No, I promise, I give my all for the Army, I promise, I just-” “Shhh, I know, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I know you’ll always do your best, for me or for our cause.” You said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. Sabo sighed happily at the feeling of your lips against his skin, relaxing once more into your touch. You’d pull him closer and wrap your arms around him, comforting him if he hadn’t been cuddled up to you like he was at the moment, the both of you laying on the bed, his tall form curled up so he could fit on the bed while laying his head on your stomach. He reminded you so much of a golden retriever at moments like these. A sweet puppy curled up with their loved one, tail wagging softly as they snuggled up to them, eyes begging for praise and pets. Sometimes you liked to joke that he should have found a canine zoan devil fruit instead so that he could have a real tail to wag back and forth. Not that you weren’t happy that he’d found his brother’s devil fruit. In fact, you loved that he’d eaten the Mera Mera fruit, enjoying the warmth that radiated from his body on cold nights as you held each other close.

He’d loved how you’d spent the entire night telling him how amazing his new abilities were and how happy you were that he’d succeeded in tracking down and eating something that meant so much to him.

“Thank you for always working so hard, for doing so much for everyone. You’re always doing everything you can and you deserve so much for what you do.” you said, making him grin like a mad man as he attempted to nuzzle his face further into you again, as if trying to hide how giddy your words made him.

“Can… can I ask you for something then?” he asked, looking up at you once more with those large, pleading, puppy eyes of his. You giggled and nodded, brushing his hair out of his face, “can we go out to my favorite restaurant later? I know it’s pretty far away, but they make the best ramen.” he requested, making you chuckle as you shook your head at his request.

“Of course we can. We’ll get you as much ramen as you want and even something for dessert if you’d like. Afterwards, we can spend the rest of the day snuggled up in bed, or I can spend the rest of the day just running my fingers through your hair while you sleep.” you offered, drawing more happy noises mixed with excitement from his throat.

“Thank you, you’re so amazing.” he said, his large grin plastered across his face. At this rate, you were pretty sure his smile wouldn’t die down until morning, fairly certain that he’d fall asleep with that insanely large grin.

“Pretty sure you’re the amazing one, sweetheart. So strong, brave, and kind. Nobody could possibly be as astounding as you.” you praised, making him wiggle around on the bed in delight. You could practically see the non-existent tail thumping against the mattress. Pulling him away from your abdomen, you began to pepper his face in sweet kisses, bringing a loopy, delighted, love drunk look to his face before pulling him into your chest, resting his head just above your heart, its gentle beating easily relaxing him further as he began to doze off, too content to keep his eyes open. As much as he was enjoying the attention, thriving on your love and adoration, he was tired, comfortable, and at ease, “Get some sleep, you’ve earned it.” you said, arms holding him tightly, hand still running through his hair as he nodded sleepily, quickly falling asleep. He was the RA’s hardest worker, one of its strongest fighters, and one of its best soldiers, and he was your sweet little golden retriever, an adorable puppy of a man, and as soft and cuddly as the fluffy canine he resembled.

#one piece #one piece sabo #sabo the revolutionary #sabo x reader #revolutionary sabo #sabo the revolutionary x reader #revolutionary sabo x reader #flame emperor sabo #flame emperor sabo x reader

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micro-after-dark · 2 years ago

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Home. Hanma X reader

MINORS DNI THIS IS AN 18+ ACC, ya'll read and interact here

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Love, Hanma thinks, is found in the way he shares his cigarettes with you, even if it's the last one in his pack.

It's the way the sunset stretches across the Tokyo horizon and he'll still say you're the prettiest thing he's ever seen. The way the wind blows through your hair as you stand on the sandy shore made his heart melt, you looked ethereal.

It's the tapestry he crudely hammered into your wall with a screw and a shoe, because you had just moved in and didn't have any tools but he insisted "It has to feel like home." anyways. He remembers how you were so proud to have a place of your own, even if all you had was the clothes on your back and a duffle bag of shitty decor. The way you laughed when he hauled a screw out of the wall and grabbed your boot when he told you to grab a corner of the fabric still makes him smile.

Love is dying your hair together in your far too small bathroom with his shitty Bluetooth speaker playing some underground punk band, and you screaming when it falls into the bleach puddle in the sink. Your loud singing trailing off into a shriek hurt his ears at the time and caused him to drop the brush he was holding, but he just wound up laughing at you as you tried to scrub the bleach from the plastic. It’s still stained, and he still uses it even though it’s damaged from the water.

Love is late-night stargazing on rooftops, where he pretends to care about the constellations you point out to him. When really, he's spending the whole time staring at the side of your face and memorizing every curve, every line, every perfect imperfection that makes you, you.

It's screamed over loud music at concerts and laughed out when you stumble into him when you're both drunk and walking home from some party, and he just has to carry your shoes because your feet are hurting. It's whispered under covers late at night when you're asleep, and even though he knows you can't hear him, he just needs to tell you anyway.

It's the way you fight girls who can't leave him alone and how he kisses your bruised knuckles with a proud "That's my baby." It's the bandages you wrap him with after every fight he gets in when the two of you get home. You never need to ask if he won because you already know, after all, he brings you to every brawl to sit there and watch, as his own cheerleader.

Love is being a little stupid, sorta reckless and getting into trouble, it's jumping over fences and running from the cops after breaking into buildings just to dance to that shitty waterlogged speaker. Hanma loves the way you had to cover your mouth to keep yourself from laughing while you hide, and how your eyes sparkle with mischief.

It's the way he's your best friend, and how you know all the words to his favourite song, even if you don't like it all that much. It's the way he can't imagine life without you.

Love is convoluted and kinda fucked up, but he knows your overly complex coffee order by heart, and you have his preferred brand of cigarettes on your bedside table. It's his clothing in your closet, the motorcycle helmet he bought you two months after you met, the way you wear matching socks, and the cologne in your medicine cabinet.

Love is the way he does skincare with you, even if he doesn't know what the products do, just because it makes you happy. It's the way Hanma keeps every card you ever gave him in a box under his bed marked “for rainy days” for him to read when he’s sad.

It's sharing a candle-lit pasta dinner on your living room floor the week you moved in because he wanted a "nice meal" but you didn't own furniture except for that damn tapestry. He loves the way you propped your phone up on an empty take-out box so you could watch some shitty horror movie, and how you’d talk the whole time. Part of him misses that empty room.

Love, Hanma thinks, is when "home" is wherever you are.

#hanma shuji #hanma shuji x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #add to masterlist

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oro-e-diamanti · 3 years ago

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The one where it takes Thomas a year

Description | There's something between you and Thomas, but as time goes on, it becomes more and more difficult to figure out if you're on the same page.

Content | Angst, fluff, little bit of smut (but no detailed descriptions)

Pairing | Thomas x gn!Reader

Word Count | 5972

Tag list | @ginny-lily @ethaneskin @tabi-toast @mywritingonlyfans @manesimp @ohtorchio @daddydamiano @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut

***

January

The bar is dark and dirty, shoes sticking to the floor wherever you walk, unidentifiable music playing lowly in the background. You don't mind. You're sitting around a table with people you barely know and there's a skinny white boy animatedly talking about something or other and you decide that as long as you can keep looking at him, you'll stay here forever. He has got that kind of beauty about him that belongs in Gucci campaigns and on music magazine covers. He doesn't know that you barely understand a word of what he is saying. Not only is his speech far beyond your comprehension skills in Italian, but he is also apparently speaking in a Romanesco dialect. You don't mind.

His hands are moving around so much they almost shove the bottles and glasses off the table and your drunken mind doesn't let you focus on anything but his long, slim fingers. His nails are painted black and you never found nail polish on men all that appealing but somehow, everything about him is. One of his hands wraps around a bottle of beer, one of his rings causing a clacking sound that no one but you hears and you cannot help fall into fantasies of that same hand touching you.

A couple of people are getting up now. You are not sure what the plan is, but you're assuming they're heading to the bar for another round of drinks. You don't immediately realise that he is talking to you now, which seems ridiculous with how closely you have been watching him all night, but when you do, you awkwardly admit that you don't actually understand a word of what he is saying. He laughs a wonderfully melodic laugh and repeats himself in English. You decide you love his laugh.

He is talking about music, playing live, some records you have never heard of and you cannot keep up. You don't know nearly enough about the technical sides of the subject that he keeps raving about and you've had too many drinks to pretend. He doesn't mind.

Neither of you notices the others coming back, already in deep discussion. You don't know if anything you say makes any sense at all, but he is nodding along and looking at you with wide, open eyes and hanging onto every word so you keep talking. He is drunk, laughing at things that aren't all that funny, but so are you, so you laugh along.

The bartender ringing the bell for last call is the only thing that is able to pull you out of your conversation. Both of you slowly shuffle to leave the bar, losing your friends along the way. The cold outside air hits you like a ton of bricks, yet you don't feel any more sober. For a moment, as you both look at each other with expressions not quite identifiable, you consider taking him home. Dragging him into your bedroom just to see what he is hiding under those clothes. To see what his fingers feel like on your skin.

But then one of your friends pulls you into a taxi they have called, someone shuts the door and the driver starts the car before you have a chance to protest. You can see him standing on the sidewalk still, lighting a cigarette and watching as the car takes you away.

February

It takes you a moment to remember where you have seen him before when you bump into his body backstage. He surprises you by pulling you into a quick hug but you don't want to be weird so you hug him back. He asks you what you are doing here and you reply that you could be asking him the same thing. He laughs shamelessly and you wonder what is so funny until he reveals that you are actually backstage at his gig. You feel foolish but he tells you it's refreshing to talk to someone who is not impressed with who he is. You don't tell him that you are, in fact, very impressed, just not because he is in a band.

Without any further questions, he throws his arm around your shoulders and leads you to his dressing room, where various other people are gathering. You give a quick nod to a friend of yours who is playing in the support band and the only reason why you're backstage at all but all he does is wriggle his eyebrows at you and... You realise you still don't know the blond boy's name.

Thomas, he tells you. Thomas Raggi. It fits him perfectly and you cannot explain why. You tell him yours in return and he repeats it, rolling the letters off his tongue and you think your name has never sounded this lovely.

When the support band goes on stage you watch from the side, cheering on your friend and singing along and Thomas never lets go of you. It's painfully obvious that he has never listened to them before but his dance moves make up for it, twirling you around and making you repeat his steps and you never stop laughing once.

An hour later, it is Thomas' turn to take the stage and it is the first time you connect the dots as to who is in the band with him. The drummer looks ethereal, dark hair flying around as he gives it his all, the bassist is a gorgeous little blonde that screams confidence, the singer might be one of the most charismatic beings you have ever seen, but no one draws you in quite like the guitarist does.

You love watching live music but Thomas is something else. He gets into it like no one else. His heart is in it in a way that makes you wish for him to love you with a matching passion. You almost forget to dance along, too distracted and too deep into your own thoughts. You barely notice the support band gathering next to you to watch, or your friend squeezing your side, thanking you for coming.

As the gig ends, the singer presses an open-mouthed kiss to Thomas' lips and you wonder what it feels like. You think you would quite like to find out tonight.

You don't get the chance, though, at least not really. The band has to load in, pack their things, chat to a few people and then they're being told to get a move on, get in the van so they can travel to the next city on their tour, get to the hotel, and sleep.

Thomas pulls you aside, shouting to the rest of his band that he's going to smoke one more cigarette, and then he'll be ready to leave. He offers you one as well but you refuse. He looks hot when he's smoking and you hate it. Neither of you speaks for a minute.

Then he asks to see you again. His hand is on your waist. You tell him yes, what else are you supposed to say. When he is looking at you with his doe eyes. When you still cannot stop thinking about his mouth. He tells you he'll be home all day next month and then lets go of you to type your number in his phone. You cannot tell if he will actually call.

His band shouts for him to hurry up, so he throws the cigarette to the ground and stomps it out with the heel of his boot. He hesitates for a second, then presses a soft kiss to your forehead that feels much tamer than what you had been hoping for.

This time you're the one standing on the sidewalk watching him drive away.

March

He does call. In fact, he calls repeatedly, asking you out, asking you to tag along somewhere, asking you to visit him. You are busy with your job and your family and your friends and you are dying to see him but it's hard to make free time. So you talk on the phone. You're scared you're getting in too deep, scared that you're starting to build up a version of him that only exists in your head, scared that you will be disappointed when reality cannot live up to the fantasies you have lying awake in bed at night.

It's mid-March by the time you pack a weekender and turn up at his place. Not unannounced, of course, but somehow it still feels unexpected to see him. It is the first time the two of you are alone, during the day, in a private place. You don't spend a lot of time talking that first day.

He kisses you, passionately and impatiently, the second you drop your bag. You do not complain, you wouldn't dream of it. His mouth feels even better on yours than you had pictured in your imagination and you already know you are not going to get enough of him any time soon. There are hands clumsily pulling at clothes and tongues tracing along skin and a lot of time to explore each other's bodies. He causes you to see stars, multiple times, and you do the same for him. It is hot and heavy and full of moans and you cannot remember the last time you had sex like this.

When you wake up again, dawn is just on the brink of coming around and you're alone in his bed. You can spy him sitting on his balcony, cigarette in hand and you quickly put on his shirt before joining him outside. You mean to take a seat next to him, but he pulls you onto his lap immediately. You lean into him, taking in the quiet and the dark and the way he still smells like sweaty sex.

It feels too good, being here with him. He presses soft kisses to the nape of your neck you feel yourself slipping back into a state of utter bliss. He turns you around so you face him, straddling his lap, and it doesn't take long for him to start fumbling with the shirt you are wearing. You do it again right then and there, out on the dark balcony with the world around you asleep.

You spend the rest of the weekend like this. You're insatiable and he's not much better, constantly clinging on to you. Even when you decide to cook a quick meal, his arms are wrapped around you from behind and his chin is resting on your shoulder.

You don't change into any of the clothes you brought. Whenever you aren't naked, you usually slip one of his shirts over your head. You haven't seen him wear more than his boxers ever since you arrived. Both of you use the time to get to know each other inside out. You start to learn what the other one enjoys, where they like to be kissed the most, how to get the highest moans and most desperate whimpers out of each other. But you also learn about each other's fears. Of your pasts and your families and your plans for the future. What you expected your life to look like when you were ten and how wrong you were. You learn that he doesn't love anyone more than his three band members and how he likes his breakfast. He learns all about your favourite movies and how you ended up in Italy.

Sunday evening hits both of you hard. He tells you he will never forget the way you look right in that moment, bag already in hand, and it feels like goodbye. You cannot stomach the thought. But he says he will call you and he might be at the studio a lot but maybe you can come and visit. You're not sure if he is being serious or if he just doesn't want to see you cry. He tangles his hand in your hair to pull your head to his once more and gives you a mind-blowing kiss you will dream about until you get to see him next.

April

The studio is more like a house. Four bedrooms and a pool almost make you forget they are here for rehearsal. You finally get formally acquainted with Damiano, Victoria, and Ethan but Thomas still monopolises your time. The others get annoyed at you sneaking off to be alone and after Damiano accidentally bursts into Thomas' room while the guitarist's head is in between your legs you decide you should make more of an effort.

You break the ice by cooking a massive dinner, starters and desserts included, and find out that everyone was right about getting into people's hearts via good food. Dinner is served out on the terrace, Damiano helps set up, Victoria brings the wine and you end up talking for hours. Damiano tells you he is glad that there's more to you than the moans you make at night and you almost get offended but Thomas slaps the back of his head and you know their banter means no harm. Ethan helps you clean up afterward, then disappears into his room as you head back out. You cannot help overhear the other three talking outside as you're approaching and you cannot help stopping in your tracks to continue listening.

Damiano's voice is easily distinguishable and probably louder than he intends it to be. It is the wine's fault, really. How come you brought her here, you hear him ask and you're glad you made the effort to improve your Italian over the last few months. You've never brought anyone anywhere. Victoria chimes in, agreeing with Damiano, almost poking fun at Thomas. Yeah, what's up with that. Are you in love?

You hate that he scoffs at the suggestion. So, you haven't talked about what you are doing. You haven't talked about what you are, exactly. But there is no need to refuse this option straight away. You don't catch exactly what Thomas is saying as he is mumbling along, but you are certain you hear him refute. They all giggle in a way that almost makes you feel like they are making fun of you. So you take a deep breath, holding your head up high, and step out onto the terrace.

They don't look embarrassed. They don't even look caught. You think maybe it's because they don't think you heard. Or understood. Damiano suggests a late-night swim in the pool and you agree before he finishes his sentence. Both you and Thomas dash to his room, quickly changing into swimwear and you have to swat his hand away when he briefly plays with the string that holds up your top.

Thomas doesn't actually need to be dared to jump into the water but Victoria does so anyway. You watch from the edge of the pool, amused, as you suddenly feel hands on your back attempting to push you in. You react quicker than you ever have in your life, turning to grab the offending person - who turns out to be Damiano - and pulling him into the water with you. Both of you emerge spluttering and laughing. Victoria takes the stairs, loudly proclaiming herself a lady among peasants, and is quickly dunked by Thomas. She complains about her ruined hair but cannot keep the giggle hidden.

You enjoy the heated water around you, while the cool April air hits your face. Damiano joins into the game of dunking for a while but you stay on the sidelines until Victoria joins you. She looks gorgeous in the light, wet hair plastered to her forehead, and you wish you had an ounce of the poise she possesses. She tells you she has been friends with Thomas the longest, meeting in school, long before any of them knew that one day their lives would be irreversibly intertwined. She says she has nothing against you - much the opposite - but Thomas is like a brother to her and she cares for him deeply. It is incessantly clear that she is protective of him and it endears you. Apart from constantly distracting him, you're doing him good, she says. She hopes to see you around more.

You hope so too.

May

Life feels domestic with Thomas by your side. You don't see each other as often but when you do he tends to stay at your place. His touch still lights you on fire but there's another aspect to it. The waking up next to each other, your head on his chest or his on yours. The cooking and the clean-up after. The standing in front of the mirror and brushing your teeth, doing your skincare routine, and leaving dots of your moisturiser on his face to annoy him.

You're not sure if he enjoys it quite as much as you do. He laughs along with you but he is also the first one to initiate sex. And, oh, the sex. Now you're alone with each other again, and not in the constant danger of one of his bandmates catching you, you explore more. You find out just how much he enjoys being submissive and you enjoy creating a new, more dominant role for yourself. There's leather and latex, chokers and harnesses, spanking and bondage, and both of you discover new sides to yourselves and each other.

As May draws on, his visits become shorter. You don't notice at first but the first time he tells you he is not staying the night you suddenly see a clear pattern emerging. He is willing to help you cook if he gets sex afterward. He is happy to wake up next to you in a peaceful tangle if he got sex beforehand. You're torn. You don't know whether you should mention it, whether he is aware of it, or if you're simply reading too much into it. You decide to test him.

It's almost midnight when he stumbles into your apartment that day. He is all over you immediately, exploring hands and hot kisses, but you tell him you have some leftover tiramisu. He seems happy enough. But then you drag him into the bathroom for your evening routine and you put on your comfy pajamas and snuggle into bed and he seems a bit lost. He doesn't say it, though. Instead, he crawls into bed with you, gets under the covers, and spoons you. You fall asleep.

You don't stay asleep for long. Thomas is tossing and turning and when he wraps his arms around you again you know why. He is hard. You whisper his name in the dark and are answered through a groan. He is gripping you tightly now, one of his hands wanders up to grasp your breast through the fabric of your shirt. It doesn't take much. It is impossible to deny him.

When you wake back up again the next morning, the bed is empty. You call out for him, hoping he might just be in the bathroom or the kitchen, but there is no answer and when you sit up and look around the room you realise all of his clothes are gone. You feel used and annoyed. You also feel like your hypothesis has been confirmed. The thought is tiring you out enough to wrap yourself back into your blanket and allow sleep to take over once more.

June

It's weird seeing Victoria without Thomas. The only time you have ever met her was when you were attached to his hip, so when you run into her on the patio of a restaurant late one evening, it almost takes you a split second to remember where you know her from. She, however, knows you immediately. The hug takes you by surprise. She asks you if you're here with Thomas and you wonder why she doesn't know. You tell her no. You don't tell her you have not spoken to him at all this week. She is blissfully unaware of the turmoil inside of you. That much becomes obvious when she invites you round for a party at hers the next night - but surely, Thomas has already told you about that. You neither confirm nor deny, but accept the invitation simply because there is no saying no to a face like Victoria's.

No one seems to notice that you and Thomas arrive separately. In fact, by the time you get to Victoria's, he's a couple of drinks in and the life of the party. He is in the middle of demonstrating his best dance moves on the kitchen table when he sees you. He jumps down, almost crashing to the ground, before stumbling over to you and smothering you in kisses. Whispering sweet nothings of amore mio and cucciolo and cara mia. You revel in the attention. You love that he is doing this in front of everyone, showing them you're his and he's yours. You ignore that it might be drunken talk.

You pull him into the kitchen, where the music is slightly more muffled and there aren't quite as many people, and make yourself a drink. He's hanging onto you like you are his lifeline. You want to pretend it is always like this, like he always adores you this much, like he calls, like he wants to hang out with you because of who you are, not what you do to his body. Yet, it's his body you cannot refuse.

Two strongly mixed drinks later Thomas has you pressed against a wall, hands desperately grasping for each other and his mouth on your neck. You barely notice Victoria shouting at you to get a room and no, not mine! It's the first time in weeks he takes you home to his and you want to be elated but it's impossible. His fingers feel as good as ever as they trace your skin but in your mind, you know his heart is not in it.

In the morning, it's you who is awake first and it's you who gets up, gathers belongings, and leaves. You only hesitate once, right before opening the door leading you away from him, but it's not worth the heartbreak, so you go. It doesn't feel good and there's no relief in it.

July

If you ever thought you could simply banish Thomas from your life, you were sorely mistaken. You don't think he understands why you keep trying to walk away. He does understand that something is wrong, though, and he tries to make things better. He tells you about a little summer house he has been thinking about renting and asks you to come along. You ask why you cannot just spend time together right here, right now and he says he wants to be alone with you. In a way you cannot help but interpret this as I don't want more people to see us together, I don't want any more questions about whether you are mine, I don't want to explain myself. It should have been romantic but there is another sentiment seeping through.

You agree anyway. It is hard to say no to the gorgeous boy when he is begging you with those doe-shaped eyes. So you pack your things, heart still heavy, and he plants a wet kiss on your lips when he picks you up. You decide to push your doubts away and enjoy yourself.

The place is adorable, a little house just on the beach, tiny and homely, and barely anyone around. You look at Thomas standing in front of the window, sunlight hitting his face, and think he is beautiful. It barely seems fair that someone like him would exist because everyone else just pales in comparison. You think you might never get over him. You surely will never get over looking at him.

You walk over to the man that isn't yours, wrapping your arms around him from behind and you cannot help your hands wandering lower, grasping his hardening flesh. He might never be fully yours but until your heart can take letting him go for good, you will take his body if that is all you're getting. He takes you on the kitchen counter, making you scream in a way that has you thanking your lucky stars, before dragging you into the shower and taking you once more.

The days are a daze of being entangled with each other. You barely leave the house, but when you do he takes you out to a lovely restaurant not too far away but you know it's only because no one here knows you. He holds your hand and he opens doors for you and tells you that you look beautiful. Then you get back home, or what you wish you could call home for the rest of your days, and makes you come undone time and time again.

You feel yourself falling for the gorgeous boy more and more and it is one morning, curtains forgotten to be drawn closed the night before, where the early sun hits his sleeping form just right that you realise you love him. You're so far beyond infatuation. You are getting deeper and deeper into this fantasy you are building for yourself, one where it is always the way it is right now, one where he proudly holds you in his arms in public, one where he is screaming from the rooftops that you are his and he is yours. The more time you spent with him, the harder it becomes to face reality. You're slipping.

August

It is festival season and Thomas is away a lot, sometimes coming home for a couple of days at a time and then vanishing again for longer. You miss him terribly, you almost feel lost without him. He calls, but it's not the same. Victoria calls too, and you don't know what you did to deserve her attention. She tells you Thomas is miserable whenever he is off stage and a plan is quickly hatched. Two days later you are on your way to Denmark.

Victoria meets you at the hotel, making sure you get a room on the same floor the band will be staying on for the next two nights, and then takes you to the festival grounds. It's loud and crowded and crazy and if you weren't dying to see Thomas, you would ask her to just leave you alone in front of one of the stages and let you lose your mind, but you don't.

You follow Victoria into the backstage area, quickly flashing the pass she supplied you with, and walk past a labyrinth of vans and busses and busy areas where musicians and everyone who works with them is hanging out. Victoria says she's not entirely sure where Thomas is but he's bound to be where alcohol is being served and you soon reach a little outdoor bar area. You see a glimpse of what looks like him vanish behind the bar stand and quickly follow. You don't notice if Victoria is still behind you.

It turns out you were right, as you round the corner and see the man you had been craving, but you wish you weren't. Your heart doesn't break all at once, but the beat becomes a deafening pounding and you think you might throw up. He is pinning a girl against the wall of the bar. That is when the first piece of your heart breaks off. He is touching her the way he touches you, uses all the moves you have gotten to know, and another piece of your heart crumbles and dies. Her hand is between his legs and the way he whimpers causes your heart to collapse into itself.

You barely hear Victoria shouting, you cannot understand the angry Italian words she is throwing around, and you want to turn and run but your feet are rooted to the ground. You simply watch as Victoria pulls Thomas off the girl who is quietly slipping into the background and disappearing and even with your lack of comprehension, you know the two friends are exchanging heated words. At some point Thomas turns to you, asking you why you are even here, but Victoria interjects, shouting at him because she misses you and you've been miserable, bastardo!

It is when he tells both of you that he doesn't owe you anything, that you're not together, that you're certainly not exclusive, when your body regains its sense of movement. The sound of the harsh slap your hand delivers to his cheek seems to echo and you don't wait for his reaction. You leave. There is nothing left here for you but more heartbreak.

September

You do not hear from Thomas. Victoria is trying to reach you numerous times but you do not answer. You spend the days in a dull state of being. You go to work. You do your chores. You cry yourself to sleep. And repeat.

October

Thomas is trying to reach you. You do not answer. Victoria is trying to reach you sometimes but you do not answer. Life has not become any easier. You go to work. You do your chores. Sometimes you meet friends. You cry yourself to sleep. And repeat.

November

You don't want to go out but your friends have had enough. They do your hair and your make-up, they set out a sexy but comfortable outfit and they make sure you get a first shot or two in before leaving. You don't admit it out loud but it does make you feel better.

The place they drag you to is loud and crowded and crazy and it makes you feel like you can forget for a while. It would have worked better if you hadn't spotted Damiano and Victoria on the dance floor. A twisting feeling settles in your stomach. You decide to get yourself another drink only to see Ethan there. He spots you and gives you a little wave. You wave back but the panic rises and your face doesn't match the action. They are all here. Probably.

You cannot help yourself. Drink in hand, you pretend to go looking for your friend but as you are circling the club you are looking for someone else entirely. You spot him easily. He is sitting on a table in a corner, on his own, beer bottles in front of him. He looks miserable. As if he knows, he lifts his head and your eyes meet. You feel like you're about to hyperventilate, so you turn on your heels and all but sprint to the smokers' area behind the club. There are barely any people out here, cool November air nipping at the bare skin on your arms and legs. You don't expect him to follow you but he does.

He looks worse up close. His hair looks like it hasn't seen a brush in weeks but not in the stylish way he usually wears it. His eyes are bloodshot and there are dark circles underneath. You know he's drunk, you know from his appearance and his demeanor, but he is not the usual life of the party. You wait for him to say something. Then he walks up to you, carefully throwing his arms around you and pulling you close. You almost push him away but your heart tells you differently.

He mumbles chants of I'm sorry and I'm an idiot and I don't deserve you and you have to slowly push him off you because this is not going to be over with a few apologies. You sit him down on a picnic bench standing in a corner, leaving a bit of space between you. You are aware he could win you back over with just the right looks and just the right touches but you need more.

You talk until you're frozen to the bone and only then do you accept his embrace again. You re-live your whole relationship and it becomes crystal clear where your shortcomings were. Where you went in different directions without telling the other. Where you expected what the other couldn't or wouldn't provide. You are brutally honest and the tears that soon begin rolling down both of your faces prove it. Discussing the Copenhagen disaster hurts most but you get through it. He is quick to admit fault. Yes, he was miserable. Yes, it was because he missed you. Yes, it was also because it scared him and he wasn't ready and he tried to deflect by hooking up with a girl he had literally just met. Yes, you are allowed to hold that against him forever.

That night you go back to his place with him and for the first time, nothing happens. You undress each other down to your underwear but there is nothing sexy about it. It is just two people who care deeply. You both get under the covers of his bed, holding each other close and studying each other's faces. His hand strokes your cheek. Both of you still have puffy eyes. You feel safe. No one says a word. You are simply looking into each other's eyes, content, until you drift to sleep.

December

Thomas is holding your hand. He just finished playing a gig and you're gathered backstage and you look at everyone around you who can see him holding your hand. It's a silly little thing to obsess over but your heart feels like it's going to burst with happiness. No more hiding, no more are-we-or-aren't-we, no more proclamations that only happen when he's drunk. Just two adults in love with each other.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows but you both know what you want. Communicating has gotten easier and is not reduced to what you do in the bedroom. Instead of locking each other out, you talk now. He looks happier and people have told you so do you. And you are. You never thought you were going to find the man of your dreams and for the past year it hadn't looked like Thomas was the one. But you are happy to have been proven wrong.

Victoria grins at you. She has long forgiven you for ignoring her calls back in September and October. She gets it. Sometimes you think she was angrier with Thomas than you were. She tells you it's because she saw that you are the best thing in his life from the get-go and she hated how he was throwing it away. Now you're back and you've gained a sister in her, too. You are glad for Ethan and Damiano as well. Thomas' little family has opened its arms to you and you didn't hesitate. You love being with them. All lingering awkwardness from April has vanished. They are still not fond of accidentally walking in on you and Thomas, though.

The band goes out to meet some fans and you tag along but hang back. The way certain girls touch Thomas still doesn't sit right with you, but you see the way he reacts and it's a relief. Taking a step back, removing hands from his body, smiling politely but with determination. He does it when you're not watching, too. Victoria has told you as much.

He catches your eye for a second, realises you are watching him, and throws you an air kiss. The people he was talking to turn around to see who he is aiming for, but quickly lose interest. You keep watching. His animated hands as he talks. The smile lighting up his face when someone pays him a compliment. You think he is drop-dead gorgeous. And you think that as long as he allows you to look at him like this, and as long as he does the same to you, you'll stay here forever.

#maneskin fiction #maneskin imagine #thomas raggi x you #thomas raggi x reader #thomas raggi imagine #thomas raggi fiction #fluff #angst #my writings

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notebooks-and-laptops · 2 years ago

Note

Hi, hello, I spent the last few days listening to your Izzy playlist and aaaah!! I don't know where to start so I'm sorry if this ask isn't very coherent but aaaaaah.

First of all I very rarely listen to people's playlists because I feel like other people's music tastes don't always merge well with mine but I already knew and loved a few of the songs in that playlist and a good half of the ones I discovered I love so much! So thank you for making me discover cool songs, notably but very much not limited to This is love, Girl with one eye, Genghis Khan and 505.

Also, I feel like the combo 'not always seeing the characters the same way' (which is normal obviously) and 'having different music tastes' makes character playlists a bit meh to me? But I'm so so glad I gave yours a listen because I kept hearing the lyrics of the songs and going 'oh yeah that's an Izzy mood alright', I think the most obvious ones for me are like King and This is love? Especially that part at the beginning of This is love, the 'shut up' in 'this is love, love, shut up this is love' every single time I hear it (and I've listened to it a lot) my brain just thinks of him and Ed (and also like King, I will never hear it without thinking of them this is an Izzy song forever for me now) And obviously when I heard like, You me and Steve, Girlfriend, The masochism tango or Jolene I was like 'oh obviously, of course (affectionate)'

Also, and this is more personal but Die together is !! I love that song because not only is it genius to have put it in that playlist it also makes me think of - in middle school I took ancient greek and latin classes and one time the teacher had us listen to an intervention by a teacher who talked about how immortality was truly achieved by dying young and in battle, so that your tales would be told far and wide and forever, and this theme of immortalising people forever through death has not left me since, so finding a song that connects to it is just !!! Anyway excellent job, our music tastes may not be the exact same but I kept the majority of the songs when I downloaded my faves to my phone and that's impressive. Thank you very very much for sharing!!

!!!!!

(For others who want context, my Izzy playlist can be found by clicking here)

This is so much of a complement omg. I spend so much time making fandom playlists for fun (I think I have around 80 playlists for Dragon Age alone) and they're not things that usually get shared around because of all the things you listed (music taste, people having different opinions on characters/songs, or even how I tend to listen to the lyrics and use those to assign characters, whereas I defo have some friends who do it on 'vibes' or what the character themselves would most likely listen to) which is fine but it IS really fun when other people do enjoy them/want to chat about them because music linked to fandoms is like. The main way I consume music and I consume a LOT of music.

But I'm glad that you enjoyed so much! Also King as an Izzy song is literally haunting like holy fucking shit (also a great Steddyhands song if you're into that with that little bit about climbing up the stairs to the light) and 'this is love' is I think the number one song to get into the core of Blackhands from Izzy's perspective like he just sees love that way as this violent deranged thing.

'Die Together' is YES that song holy shit. If you didn't watch it in Eurovision this year, I recommend doing so because the staging was stunning and haunting (it was my absolute fav of the night, so glad it got into the top ten, wish it had done even better) - you can find it here. Also as far as Izzy is concerned it makes me want to chew on things like this idea of a very toxic love that can't go on, but also the idea of it being the worst thing to imagine it ending because that love is also EVERYTHING, and so how are we going to fix this well maybe we'll just die together, and that way we can't lose each other and just dhjadhkjfgjkagfkgf BLACKHANDS HURTS MY SOUL.

Also, PLEASE if you haven't already go watch the Genghis Khan music video here! It's gloriously queer with the premise of 'if James Bond fell in love with the villian' SUCH a good music video

But thank you so much for this ask! It honestly made my day and I'm so glad you enjoyed the playlist as a whole!

#izzy hands #ask #ofmd

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adventuresinwonderlust · 3 years ago

Text

Title: Caution to the Wind

Pairing: yoongi x reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, tension, first kiss, solo masturbation (f), mentions of erections, mentions of virginity and losing it (friendship pact)

*AUTHORS NOTE: Warnings will update per chapter as things get steamier*

Permanent Tag List: @mochilicious-yoongi @heyimtavia

Rating: 18 and over

January:

This was fine. You were fine. Min Yoongi was NOT your boyfriend. He was your childhood friend, who you experienced your first everything with. You both new that your fun experiments were all in preparation for this moment right here, a college party. You swallowed back the amber liquid in your cup, watching him laugh and flirt with a random girl who wasn’t you. You nodded to yourself and turned away. The sting of tears burning, so desperate to reveal themselves. You’re fine! You kept telling yourself. You look over at him again to see the girl tugging at the lapel of his flannel shirt. You squeal internally, dying inside, wanting so badly to interrupt. You promised each other you wouldn’t let feelings get involved. You would only fool around so not to be the only virgins at college but this, this was so hard. You drop your red solo cup on a side table and walk over to him. “I’m headed back to the dorms ok. Have fun.” You nod and walk off past him. You sniffle back the tears that threaten once again. How did you get here? How did this happen? Fucking morning wood that’s how! You think back, racing out of the frat house to hail a cab.

June:

It was normal for you and Yoongi to sleep over each other's houses. Although you were both normally at your place since your mom was laxer. You had both fallen asleep watching a movie, the sun rise now peeking through your curtains. You grumbled, rolling over to find Yoongi lying on his back, soft snores escaping his slightly parted lips. You waved your hand over his face to see if he was really sleeping or just pretending. No movement. You smile to yourself, enjoying watching your best friend sleep. The angelic way he looked, the calm way his chest moved up and down, how he rested his hand on his tummy. You shifted the covers down from your over warm bodies, running your hand over his, gasping to yourself at the sight of his erection. You looked up at his face again and find him still fast asleep. You had heard of morning wood before. Your female friends had talked about it. They said it was a natural, normal reaction men had. Some of them even told you it was the best erection to have sex with. You swallow back the lustful lump in your throat, waving your hand over his face again. No movement.

You bite your lower lip, your hand hovering over his morning wood, desperate to touch it. Yoongi suddenly takes in a deep breath rolling away from you and nuzzling into the pillow. You release the breath you had been holding, turning your back to him, tucking a pillow between your legs. You gently and carefully begin to hump it, tucking your lips into your teeth to hold back your moans. That’s when that warm feeling begins to build, fireworks soon exploding in your brain. You can’t help but whimper, soft cries leaving your now open mouth. You still, your high dissipating, gasping when Yoongi rolls over and wraps his arm around your waist. “Shh. It’s ok Y/N, you're just having a nightmare. I’m here with you.” He mumbles into your ear, his soft snores soon following. You rest your arm over his, intertwining your fingers, falling back to sleep.

A few hours later, you make your way down to your kitchen to find your mother and Yoongi deep in conversation. “Good morning Y/N,” Your mother greets, “How’d you sleep?” “She had a nightmare last night.” Yoongi chuckles, sipping his coffee. “I did not.” You scoff, grabbing a mug. “You did so, you should’ve heard her Ms. Y/L/N whimpering like a puppy. It was cute.” Your mother rubs your shoulder while your face turns beet red. “You having nightmares sweetheart?” “I’m fine mom. Yoongi’s just teasing me like always.” “Well, you two, time to buckle down and get some dorm shopping done. I’m really excited about you two going off and having the whole college experience. I’ll come by after work and pick you both up and we can head to Ikea. Yes?” You both nod, your mother kissing your head as she heads out. “Yoongi call your parents and let them know you’re here please, so they don’t freak. Have a good day and don’t spend it all on the couch!” She hollers back at you both.

“Why did you lie about having a nightmare?” Yoongi asks, eyeing you suspiciously. “Maybe because I didn’t have one.” “I heard you.” “You misheard.” “I didn’t mishear anything. You were practically crying in your sleep.” “I was not. So, drop it.” “Look you even woke up grumpy. It’s ok to have nightmares. We all do sometimes. It’s normal. That’s what you get honestly for watching those stupid horror films.” “Yoongi, please, just shush.” “OK grumpy.” He smiles, sipping his coffee. “What do you want to grab at Ikea today?” You ask him, taking a seat at the table with him, coffee and toast in tow. “You know they say stress can cause nightmares. Are you stressed about moving out of your moms house and into the dorms?” “I didn’t have a nightmare ok! I was masturbating! Now will you just lay off me!” You finally shout. “I knew it! I knew I felt you humping! Oh my God, you dirty little birdie! With me in the bed!” Yoongi starts laughing, holding his tummy. “Shut up ok,” you shout, tossing a corner of your toast at him, “if it wasn’t for your morning wood, I wouldn’t have gotten so worked up.” You word vomit, covering your mouth immediately in shock. Yoongi stills across from you, his eyes wide.

“Are you saying... I… made you… horny?” Yoongi inquires confused. “More like your dick ok, so don’t get all worked up and full of yourself.” You snip, sipping your coffee to keep the flush in your cheeks from becoming visible. Yoongi smiles wide, his gums exposed before giving you a shit eating grin. “Hey, it happens right? I mean we’ve been friends since we were kids. We sleep in the same bed. We were bound to rub against one another at some point. I’d be lying if I said I never rubbed one out after you shoved your ass into me.” He shrugs. “Really?” “Yeah. You’re a beautiful girl. Any guy would react the same.” He smiles. “Except no guy ever has which is why I am going to go to college a complete virgin!” You huff. “Who cares? I’m going to college a complete virgin also, it's not a big deal.” “You’re a guy. It's different for you.” “How so?” “Guys think of taking a girls virginity as some sick conquest. There’s no care or concern towards their feelings. Girls aren't the same with guys. We find it endearing when a guy is still a virgin.” “Yeah right! Girls think a guy is an inexperienced loser if he’s still a virgin.” “Well, if we are still virgins when we hit our second year, let's just sleep together and put each other out of this misery.” You laugh, standing to bring your dirty dishes to the sink. “That’s really funny. I may hold you to that! I'm going to shower.” Yoongi declares, standing and hurrying off to the bedroom.

You both spend the day lounging, watching TV, and making shopping lists for your Ikea trip. By the time your mother arrives back home, Yoongi is fast asleep on the couch. “Long day?” She asks, nodding at your curled up bestie. “Too much dorm planning.” You reply, nudging him gently. He peeks at you with one eye, soon stretching his whole body. “Is your mom home?” He inquires. “I am. Now let’s get a move on. I wanna avoid traffic.” Yoongi pops up quickly and you all head out. “Are your parents sad to have you moving into the dorms?” Your mom asks Yoongi. “Well, I practically live at your place, so I imagine it’s no different for them.” He chuckles. “I don’t think his parents notice he’s gone.” You chime in. “Of course they do Y/N. We parents notice everything. Maybe we don’t say it out loud, but we notice.” Yoongi just nods, deciding not to give input. You know the truth; his parents are strict. They never cared for his interest in music and were not happy to find out he was pursuing it full time in college. They hadn’t been speaking for a while, but it didn’t bother Yoongi much. He just breezed by counting the time till move day.

When you all arrive at Ikea you immediately suggest separate carts, knowing you’re going to fill one up with everything you have in mind. You decide to separate and browse and then meet somewhere in the middle. Yoongi heads off on his own while you and your mom walk through the aisles. “So, how’s he holding up?” She whispers to you. “He’s good. You know Yoongi, he’s super private sometimes. He seems good, normal even. Like nothing is going on at home.” “He’s been at the house a lot. I was worried they kicked him out.” “God no! He just prefers our place.” “Ok, just wondering. Speaking of an inquiring mind. Have you two ever? I mean you’d tell me, right?” “Mom! He’s my best friend!!” “Okay. Okay. I was just asking. It’s not a big deal if you have. I just wanted to know.” “Mom, please. Just stop.” “Ok. OK. Let’s move on. Oh, look at the throws. I love them. What do you think?” “They are nice, but I have so many already.” Two hours pass before you are all done with your shopping, but you feel comfortable with your purchases. “How’d you fair?” You ask Yoongi when you all link up again. “Good. You?” “Really good!” You walk over to the registers and your mom ushers both carts to the check out. “Oh no! Please Ms. Y/L/N, I’ll pay for it.” Yoongi begs, watching your mother wave him away. “My gift to you for making it into college.” She smiles, swiping her card. Yoongi sighs, giving you a pained look. “I’ll pay her back.” “Oh hush. You know she doesn’t mind. She loves you Yoons. Just smile and say thank you.” He nods, walking over and hugging your mother from behind. “Oh! You’re welcome Yoongi.”

“Do you wanna stay at my place tonight? My parents want me to come home. I’d enjoy your company.” Yoongi asks you in the car, showing you a text from his mom. “Yeah sure.” He smiles, chewing at his fingers nervously. “Mom can you drop us off at Yoongi’s tonight?” “No problem.” You head home and drop off all your things, packing an overnight bag quickly and hopping back into the car to Yoongi’s house. You mother waves you off and you both head inside. Yoongi’s mother is in the kitchen prepping for dinner. She looks up briefly at you both, giving you a small smile, that drops when she locks eyes with Yoongi. She nods at him, then turns to go back to what she was doing. “You head up. I’m just going to talk to her.” Yoongi whispers. You nod and take your bag and some of the things Yoongi bought up to his room. You sit on his bed and begin to scroll through your phone when you hear them begin to yell at one another. Your heart pounds in your chest and you move towards the door. She calls him selfish for choosing music over something more sustainable. Then they switch to speaking in Korean. You sigh, feeling your heart break for Yoongi.

You plop down on his bed, hearing his footsteps stomp away at the stairs as he makes his way up to the room. He slams the door when he enters causing you to jump. You drop you phone beside you and look up at him. “Hey you ok?” He shakes his head, making his way toward you. You outstretched your arms, and he falls into your embrace, wrapping his arms around your body. He rests his head on your chest and you run your fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry Yoons. I wish she was more understanding.” “It’s almost over. I’m almost free.” He sniffles. It pains you to see him this way and you wish you had more than words for him.

Before you know it, you are awoken to the sound of Yoongi playing music from his laptop. You stretch your body and look over at him. “What time is it? When did I pass out?” “It’s 3am. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” “It’s ok. How are you feeling?” “I’m fine. Sorry you had to listen to us fight.” “Please, don’t apologize! How many times have you been around for my mom and I fighting?” He laughs with a small nod. “Still, it’s rude,” He whispers, “Anyway, I was thinking. About what you said earlier. And I… uh… well… we should. Just do it you know.” Your brow furrows trying to decipher what Yoongi is talking about. “Do what Yoons?” “Be each other’s first…. well…. everything. We’ve known each other forever and we trust each other. I think we should get all the awkward stuff out of the way before we start college that way there's no need to worry when we meet people.” Your eyes pop open as you realize Yoongi is asking you to be his first. “Um, I was kidding.” You blurt out nervously. “I mean, I know at first but maybe it can be for real. No strings attached Y/N. We take it slow, one thing at a time and if it's super weird then we stop.” “It’s going to be weird Yoongi, we are like siblings!” You shout. “Get the fuck out of here! We are not! You literally masturbated to my hard on this morning, please tell me how many siblings do that? Ok, look, just forget I said anything. I'm sorry.” He huffs, putting his headphones back on and turning up his music. You sigh, lying back, mulling the idea over in your head. He is right, you trust him more than any random guy you'd ever meet. It isn't like Yoongi wasn’t hot, you just never thought he would take your offer serious. You turn on your side watching him shake his leg frantically. You wave your hand to get his attention. He looks over at you, tugging his headphones off. “Why don't you come lie down? You can tell me more about the arraignment you had in mind.” He stares at you, completely stoic, before closing his laptop. “We don't have to do anything. I was just, I don't know, overthinking. It was stupid.” He shrugs. You simply tap the bed beside you.

He sighs, pushing away from the desk to make his way to the bed. He lies down facing you, taking your hand in his. You both stare at each other for a minute and you feel your heart flutter. “Kiss me.” You whisper, your body heating from the instant turn on mixed with embarrassment. “What?” He chuckles. “Maybe your idea isn't as crazy as it sounds. I trust you more than anyone. We can start small and work our way up based on how we feel. If it gets weird or uncomfortable then we stop. No strings attached. No emotional involvement. Just two friends helping each other out.” You state plainly, staring at your intertwined hands rather than Yoongi's wide eyes. “You’re serious?” He swallows, his cheeks reddening. “Yeah, only if you want to.” “I mean, yeah, if you want to, I do.” He shyly responds. “Then stop talking and kiss me. We'll start there. We can be each other’s first kiss.” You don’t know why but you both instinctively lick your lips. Yoongi looks down at your mouth, seemingly mesmerized. He swallows hard, the bounce of his Adam's apple making your core burn.

“Here goes nothing.” He smiles, leaning towards you, the smell of his body wash invading your senses. He licks his lips again, rubbing them together right before he presses them gently against yours. You immediately melt into the kiss, your head prickling, heart racing, and it takes you a minute to close your eyes as Yoongi has. Your mind begins to race. How long do we stay like this? Should I pull away? Why does this feel so good? Is he enjoying it? You finally pull away, eyeing Yoongi’s calm face, his eyes still closed as if in a state of bliss. “What? I mean, was it ok?” You ask. He nods. “I was just savoring it. My first kiss.” He chuckles. “Do we keep going?” You ask nervously. His eyes widen. “Do you want to?” “Is that weird?” He shakes his head quickly. “No, I kind of want to also.” This time you lean forward and press your lips to his, raising your hand up to rest at his neck. You think of every movie you’ve ever seen and push your tongue out of your mouth, rubbing it against his lower lip. You swear you feel it right between your thighs, moaning at the sensation. Yoongi moans as well, opening his mouth to grant you access.

You press your tongue against his, realizing that you have no clue what to do next but are completely unable to stop. It’s then that Yoongi impresses you, completely taking over the kiss. He tilts his head a bit, rotating his tongue slowly around yours before removing his appendage from your mouth to suckle on your top lip. Just when you think you have a moment to breathe, he returns his tongue to your mouth, swirling faster, making what can only be described as love to your mouth. You can't stop the soft moans leaving your throat, or how the way Yoongi devours them has you completely soaked. Of all the times you’ve ever touched yourself, you don’t think you’ve ever been as wet as you are now. Curiosity takes over and you reach your hand down from Yoongi’s neck to the front of his pajama pants, dying to see if he is at all affected by this. You pull away from the kiss with a gasp at the feel of his massive erection. “I’m sorry.” You pant, embarrassed that you just grabbed at his hard on. “It's ok Y/N, you can touch it if you want.” He grants in a low lustful tone you’ve never heard before. You heart begins to race and panic hits. “Maybe it's too much. Maybe we should chill for now.” You say quickly, placing your hand flat on his chest.

He nods at your statement, lowering his hand to adjust himself. “I’m sorry. Of course, we can stop. I want to go at your pace. I don’t want to freak you out or make you uncomfortable ever.” “Thank you Yoongi. Honestly, I really enjoyed the kissing. I just want to take our time. It’s my fault I shouldn’t have reached for you.” “Don't apologize. Its ok. I'm ok. I want to go slow too.” He plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, and you breathe a sigh of relief. “Let’s get some sleep.” He whispers, pulling a pillow down from the top of the bed to rest in his lap before pulling you into his arms. “Safety first.” He teases and you both laugh out loud. You bite your lower lip to keep from squealing like a little kid. Your first kiss and who better to have it with then Yoongi. You nuzzle softly into your pillow, whispering goodnight to Yoongi before falling asleep in his arms.

#bts smut #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #suga x reader #suga x you

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tyongxnct · 4 years ago

Text

𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 - 𝐿𝑒𝑒 𝑇𝑎𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑔

pairing: Taeyong x reader

special guest: Mark Lee

summary: You and Taeyong promised each other to go through everything together. You both dreamed of the music industry and after so many years, you finally got the opportunity to sign a contract with a big company, but they only wanted you, not Taeyong and you. At first, you didn’t want to do anything without Taeyong, but he encouraged you and supported you, but after your big success, Taeyong changed and his jealousy destroyed your relationship.

song: the heart wants what it wants - Selena Gomez

genre: idol!au, angst

warnings: mention of alcohol, swearing

word count: 4,8k

A/N: I really love this one and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, listen to the heart wants what it wants by Selena Gomez while reading!! 💖

taglist: @alex-chann

I was on stage and I was thinking of... I felt like I know him though I know his heart And I know what he wouldn't do to hurt me But I didn't realize that Feeling so confident, feeling so great about myself... And then it just be completely shattered by one thing By something so stupid But then you make me feel crazy baby Feel like it's my fault I was in pain…

The award in your one hand and your phone in your other hand. You were nervous, almost scared. You whole body was trembling, and your lips were about to bleed, you chewed on them without feeling any pain.

You looked on your phone, for the millionth time in the last three minutes and there was still no call and no text.

You felt like the dress you were wearing, the beautiful golden dress, was suffocating you. It was tight around your waist and with every passing second it got tighter.

You clutched your heart.

Are you dying?

You can’t breathe.

Is this it?

Your vision is blurry, tears filled your eyes.

“Y/n! Can you hear us? Hey, honey, are you alright? Look at me.” This was your manager, she tried to calm you down. You were going to die, there was no other way to stop the pain.

“Someone bring me a fucking bottle of water!” she yelled to the crew in your dressing room. “You did it, Y/n! Artist of the year award is in your hands! This was your dream!”

You looked at the award in your hand.

Artist of the year.

Did you deserve this? Of course you did. You worked day and night, non-stop without any breaks, this was your dream and you did everything you could to achieve this.

But did you really deserve this?

“You looked absolutely gorgeous on-stage Y/n! Honey, you moved everyone with your speech! It was beautiful, you’re trending first place worldwide on twitter!” she told you as she handed you the bottle of water. Your throat was dry, and you finished the whole bottle in one go.

“Thank you.” You said and then you turned your phone off. He wasn’t going to text you anyway.

The water helped you calm down and the crew and your manager cheered and popped a champagne bottle. Today was your day, and you had to push every painful thought away and just be happy for once.

After the award show you found yourself in your bed, but it was hard to fall asleep. You could see the sun rising and the clock on your wall told you that it was almost 6am. You were awake the whole night, alone in a cold bed without him keeping you warm.

The bedroom door was suddenly opened with him stumbling inside. The heavy smell of alcohol surrounded the whole room. When he saw you looking at him, he laughed. He walked towards the bed and almost tripped on his way.

“Oops.” He giggled to himself.

You starred at him, curious about his next move.

“I saw y-you on the tv. You looked so small.” He laughed again like a little boy. He took off his socks and then his shirt.

“Do you know why I was on the tv?” you asked him.

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” With that, he got under the blankets and turned his back to you.

Tonight was one of the most important nights of your life and Taeyong simply didn’t care.

The bed's getting cold and you're not here The future that we hold is so unclear But I'm not alive until you call And I'll bet the odds against it all Save your advice 'cause I won't hear You might be right but I don't care There's a million reasons why I should give you up But the heart wants what it wants The heart wants what it wants

Your history with Taeyong started when you were both around twelve years old. The typical childhood friends to lovers. You had your first kiss with him when you were fifteen, you officially started dating when you were sixteen and you had your first time when you were eighteen. Years later, with twenty-three, every memory, every special day with him wasn’t the same anymore.

You two always dreamed of becoming the greatest couple in the music industry. You promised each other to go through this together and love each other forever. Taeyong was more into rap and producing and you were more into writing lyrics and singing. For the first couple years everything was perfect, but it was also exhausting and tiring. The music industry was harder than you imagined and the day you signed a contract with a big company, without Taeyong, was the day your relationship started falling apart.

You didn’t want to sign the contract. It was always Taeyong and you or nothing. Taeyong felt bad and didn’t want that to happen, he couldn’t be selfish just because it took longer to achieve his own dream. Taeyong worked in your studio, you let him spend as much time as he wanted and he produced song after song but nobody wanted to sign him. Your company offered Taeyong a job as a producer to produce a couple songs for you and other artists, he accepted the offer and hoped that one day, he could produce something for himself.

Taeyong supported you at first. The day you released your first self-written single, he surprised you with a big party and a promise ring. A promise to be with you forever. When you released your first full album, your fanbase grew even faster and you album hit first place on almost every chart. You were twenty-three and you were a star.

Taeyong was distant after you released your first album. He never left the studio and produced day and night. Every time you tried to get close to him, he’d find an excuse to push you away. No company wanted him, and he was going crazy. You understood, you tried to keep your own stuff for yourself and never talked about your job, you didn’t want to hurt him more.

While you got more popular, Taeyong’s hate towards music grew and one day, he just stopped.

“There’s no need for me to keep doing this. I don’t want this anymore. I need money to pay for this apartment, I need money to buy food and-“ he rambled nervously.

“Taeyong, you know that money is no problem for us anymore. This was your dream, you can’t just give up-“

“Oh please, don’t start with that bullshit. I don’t want your fucking money! Keep it to yourself! Go buy yourself some diamonds or I don’t fucking know, a house or no, go buy yourself a plane!”

Taeyong hated it whenever you talked about money. He hated it that you gained more money than him and provided for you two. The thought of you now paying for the apartment drove him crazy.

“Taeyong, I don’t want you to stop trying. Just let me pay the rent, I love you I just want to help-“ You loved Taeyong so much and you knew how much music actually means to him.

“I don’t want your fucking help. You’re not paying the rent. End of discussion.” And like every other night, he left you alone and went to a bar.

You knew you shouldn’t, but you did it anyway.

You bought the apartment you were living in and didn’t say anything to Taeyong. For two months, he didn’t notice that the money he paid for the apartment was back on his bank account. You knew that he’d find out sooner or later, but you couldn’t sit back and watch him destroy himself anymore.

But one day, he noticed, and you thought it was really the end of your relationship. The future you always dreamed of was nowhere to be seen.

“Do you really think that low of me?! Do you really think I can’t even fucking pay rent?! Huh?! How could you do something like that behind my back!” he yelled at you.

“Taeyong, please. I did it for us. I don’t want you to worry about money, I can help-“

“No! No you fucking can’t help! I don’t want your fucking money! You think, now that you are fucking famous you can do whatever the fuck you want?! Is that how it works? Just because you sing like anyone else, you can do whatever you want? I don’t even get why people are listening to your fucking music! It sound like every other artist singing you’re not special, not unique! You don’t have any fucking talent but here we are, you get the contract and not me, someone with actual talent.”

Every word that left his mouth, felt like a knife piercing in your heart. You finally heard how he really felt about your success and it broke you apart. You never wanted it to go this far.

You sobbed, you felt numb and his gaze on you didn’t help. Maybe he was right. There was nothing special about you. He deserved to be in your position.

“I-I’m sorry-“ you blurred out, “D-do you want me to g-go?”

Taeyong’s gaze softened, you looked like you were about to fall apart, and he couldn’t catch you because it was his faut in first place.

Did he want to break up? Was it over now? Do you have to leave the love of your life now?

“N-No, I’ll leave.”

And you didn’t see him for next hours.

You did nothing except for crying while listening to your songs. He was right, there was nothing special about your voice. You were like anyone else. No talent, how did people even listen to you?

It was late, past 3 am.

You were still crying, and you thought that Taeyong left you- forever. You took off the promise ring and tried to fall asleep, but he entered the room, and you could feel his presence behind you.

Taeyong hugged you from behind and cried. His head fell in the crook of your neck and he cried with you in his arms, you were also crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” He whimpered. “I didn’t mean anything I said. You’re perfect, the best of the best. I’m sorry, please don’t leave me. I love you.”

You turned to him. When he saw the tears on your face, he stroked them away and kissed your cheeks. “Please don’t cry- I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

You did the same with his tears and he noticed the missing ring on your finger. “W-Where is the ring?”

“I’m sorry, I took it off. I thought you’d leave m-me.” You told him and he cried harder. “No baby I’d never leave you. I’m sorry, please don’t take it off. I still mean it.”

You turned to your nightstand and put it back on.

“I’m sorry. I’m stupid and an idiot. T-This is just driving me crazy- Am I not good enough? What am I doing wrong?” he said, you could see in his eyes that he was in pain and it hurt you so much to see him like this.

“You are not doing anything wrong. You’re perfect, they are just blind and don’t see how great you are. They don’t know what real music is, Tae. You are so talented and please don’t stop trying.”

You put your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

“A-Are you serious? O-Or are you just saying that to make me stop crying like a baby?” he pouted.

“I’m telling the truth. I’m not biased here. Well, I do love you but I’m really telling you the truth. You are the most talented person I know.”

“Thank you.” He kissed your head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for earlier- I hate myself for saying that to you.”

“It’s okay, I know that you didn’t mean it.”

“I love you so much, never leave me, okay?” he said softly.

“I love you too.”

You got me scattered in pieces Shining like stars and screaming Lighting me up like Venus But then you disappear and make me wait And every second's like torture Hell over trip, no more so Finding a way to let go Baby, baby, no I can't escape

It didn’t stay like that. Not even weeks later, you were back to the cold and distant Taeyong, he was still the same cold guy who hated your success with a burning passion.

Two weeks later, you were back at the studio, after you won the artist of the year award, in the studio working on some music with a hungover Taeyong. He still didn’t talk to you about the fact that you won the artist of the year award and you were not going to say anything about it.

You were distant. You tried to keep your thoughts to yourself and only talked whenever it was really needed.

“Try again.” He said for the fifth time.

Your throat hurt after last night and singing the same verse over and over again didn’t help.

“Taeyong can I take a break?” you asked.

“Mrs. Artist of the year wants to take a break? That’s not so professional of you. Artists don’t take breaks. They try and try until it’s perfect.”

First of all, you thought he didn’t know that you won artist of the year? And second, so he knew but he didn’t even show you a tiny bit of love. You won the biggest award of the year and your boyfriend hated you for that.

“But my throat hurts- I can’t hit the notes.”

“Drink some water.” He pointed at the water in the recording room.

And then you tried and tried to hit the note, but your voice gave up.

“Fine. That’s it for tonight. We won’t get any further with that voice of yours.” He said coldly.

When you left the little recording room, you gathered your things together but Taeyong didn’t move. “Aren’t we going home?” you asked.

“You can go, I’ll stay a little longer.”

And without saying anything or kissing him goodbye, you left.

The pain in your throat got worse and talking was difficult. You were talking to your manager about a potential tour, but after one sentence your voice broke. You stopped talking immediately, the pain only got worse whenever you tried to talk. “Here drink this tea. You should stop recording for a couple days, maybe even weeks.” You nodded, your voice was still there, but you didn’t want to risk losing it completely.

A couple days later, you talked to your boss about taking a break for a couple months, a short hiatus to calm your voice and throat and just write lyrics for your upcoming album. You decided to leave the city and rent a little beach house. Your manager was happy, you were happy but Taeyong, well, Taeyong just laughed at you.

“Taeyong, I just told you that I’m going to take a break and you’re just laughing?”

“Our little pop-star got enough of being the star? Why? Are they paying you too little?” he said mockingly.

“You know that this isn’t about money! I’m stressed, I’m not feeling good. My voice is always breaking, it even hurts to talk.”

“You can’t even handle that, can you? What kind of singer are you? Pathetic.”

You had enough. You really had enough.

“I’m the pathetic one? Look at yourself for once! You did this to me! I’m recording 24/7 and you don’t give me a single break! How is my voice supposed to handle that?! Tell me! You hate me so much, you weren’t even there for me when I won that stupid award! We talked so much about being there for each other in the past, but you threw everything away because of your jealousy! You weren’t there when I needed you the most even though I’m always there for you. You promised me b-but I’ve had enough… I can’t let you tear me down. I worked so hard, but It feels like a punishment to sing.” Once again, your voice broke.

“I want you to leave my apartment. I don’t want to see you or any of your stuff here. I’m done with you breaking my heart.”

Fortunately, your bags were already in the car, you thought maybe Taeyong would come with you, to relax and remind him of the love you once shared. But after what he had said, you just couldn’t stay with him anymore.

Taeyong looked at you, eyes wide open and lips trembling. Was he about to cry? Impossible. He must be happy that you’re finally leaving him.

“Y-You’re breaking up with me?” he asked slowly.

You took off the ring and placed it on the shelf next to you.

You turned around without saying anything and walked out of the door and when you finally closed the door of the car, you cried. Taeyong didn’t realize that you just left him. He was staring at the ring, he couldn’t move, he wanted to go after you, but his legs were numb.

After more than 10 Years, you left him. You had promised each other that you’d never leave each other but he also promised to be there for you.

This is a modern fairy tale No happy endings No wind in our sails But I can't imagine a life without Breathless moments Breaking me down, down, down, down

You lived at the beach for five months and you had no contact to anyone except your manager and a couple of producers you met. Your manager was always there for you after your breakup with Taeyong. You wrote so many songs in the past months, only love songs. Sad ballads about broken hearts.

You were scared to go back, scared of seeing him in the studio and scared that you actually weren’t ready to go back on stage, but after a long talk with your manager, you felt ready. Your five months hiatus helped you feel better about yourself and gain more confidence.

You woke up to the sounds of waves and you fell asleep to them. Your body relaxed and your throat didn’t hurt anymore. You felt good and you were ready to face the reality you were living in.

Your manager talked to some producers and that’s when you met Mark Lee. A young producer from Canada who was really talented, and you couldn’t wait to work with someone who wasn’t Taeyong. The car stopped in front of the building you tried to avoid for the last months. Your driver kindly opened your door and helped you get out.

“Thank you.” You said politely and entered the building with a nervous heart. Your manager told you that Taeyong was still working in the company, just for other artists and you hoped that you’d never cross paths.

You softly knocked on the door.

“You can come in!”

You opened the door and greeted Mark. It wasn’t your first time meeting him. He visited you at the beach house to talk about your new songs.

“My favorite singer is finally here in my office!” he said happily and hugged you softly. You hugged him back and sighed, “I don’t know If I’m ready.”

“Of course you are. We are going to produce some hits for you. I mean the songs you wrote are sad but like a good sad and everyone loves a good ballad.”

His studio was a little bigger than Taeyong’s and it was also warmer, the vibe was definitely better here. “Well we’ll see about that-“

“Yo Mark do you want to-“ suddenly someone entered the studio and when you turned around time stopped.

Taeyong looked, well, he looked like he always looked and that was perfect. His hair was a pretty shade of blue, he looked mesmerizing.

His eyes widened, his hand on the doorknob tightened and his body tensed. You weren’t doing any better. Your grip on your bag also tightened and your heart clenched.

Mark did know a little bit about your history with Taeyong, and the tension right now was crazy.

“H-Hi.” Taeyong said nervously.

“Hey.” You just said back, trying to avoid his gaze.

“You’re back.”

You nodded, not knowing what to say.

“So, Mark is a new producer here-“

“Yeah I know. I’m going to work with him.” You simply said.

“Oh, t-that’s good. I mean he’s good. Mark is really good.” He mumbled. Taeyong tried to meet your eyes, your beautiful pretty eyes he had missed so much, but you looked down to your feet.

“Uhm, Taeyong, I guess I’ll talk to you later?” Mark tried to save you from this awkward situation.

“Yeah sure.” He slowly left the room and you thought you’d die any second.

“That was so awkward.” Mark said and wiped the sweat from his forehead, “I can’t handle awkward situations, shit I thought we were all going to cry any minute.”

“Let’s start, I need to distract myself.”

Taeyong held his heart tightly when he entered his own studio. He wanted to ask Mark to order some food, but seeing you there after months, looking beautiful as ever.

Taeyong missed you and he was more than happy that you were back, even though you weren’t a couple anymore. You looked healthier and happier and he hated himself whenever he thought about the past. He was an asshole to you, you never deserved his stupid attitude. Losing you was his own fault and he had to leave you alone.

But Taeyong is selfish.

The past two months, you recorded and recorded. You new album was done, and you were able to perform on stage after a long time again. You were extremely nervous, but it also felt like a relief to perform the heart wants what it wants with a big audience.

Each song on your album had a deep meaning. After getting your heart shattered into many pieces, you wrote sad but beautiful lyrics. Everyone goes through heartbreak which is why so many people could relate to your songs.

“Are you ready honey?” you manager asked you.

“I hope I don’t cry.” You tried to joke but everyone knew you were actually serious. “It’s okay to cry. Just go on stage and let it all out.”

You hugged her and even Mark was there to cheer on you. “You’ll do amazing. The songs are amazing and you’re going to deliver them perfectly. Don’t worry.” Mark said as he hugged you tightly.

It felt like a déjà vu. You were in the waiting room almost a year later after you won the Artist of the year award, this time before you performed, and you still hoped to get a text from a certain someone. Did Taeyong even knew that you were going to perform tonight?

You breathed in and out and when you were on stage you poured your heart out.

When the performance ended, you didn’t cry. You almost did, but in the end you didn’t. The genuine smile on your face showed the relief you felt and that you finally reached happiness after years of looking for it.

You left the stage and adrenalin was pumping through your veins. A big smile was on your lips and when you entered your waiting room to celebrate with your crew, there was no one inside except for one person.

“Taeyong?” you asked, not sure If you were imagining him.

“Hey,” he looked you up and down, “You look gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful.”

You were shocked. Is it really him? “W-What are you doing here?”

“I watched your performance. Front row. I wanted to be in the crowd and watch you perform. It was phenomenal. You were breathtaking.”

He stepped closer, “W-Was the song about me?” he whispered.

You nodded, tears were about to fall down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I was a blind little boy, I was so obsessed with the idea of me and the music industry that I forgot about you and your feelings and I can’t tell you how much I hate myself for that. You were always my number one priority, b-but then… all I could see was red and I let my anger and frustration out on you. I love you more than anything and instead of loving you I tried to hurt you and I thought it would make me feel better about myself, but it didn’t, and I realized that when it was too late. You left me and I was absolutely devastated. I couldn’t imagine my life without, and I still can’t. You were always a part of me, and I don’t want to lose the most important part of my life. No one and nothing on this planet is more important to me than you are. You are my world and when you left, my world stopped spinning and I didn’t know what to do. The first time I saw you after our breakup I-I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that you were real and that I lost someone as beautiful and kind as you. I don’t need to be an artist. I don’t need fans- I just need you. My number one fan and supporter.”

You were bawling your eyes out and you couldn’t stop yourself from crying harder and harder.

Taeyong was also always a part of you. Everything you achieved was thanks to him. He was the one who taught you how to play the guitar and the piano. Taeyong helped you find your voice when you were younger, and you found your passion for music and singing all thanks to him.

You went through so much, and you never stopped loving him. You loved him on every single day since the first time you met him until now.

He came to support you. He watched your performance and it felt so good to see him here. Your heart was beating against your chest and you couldn’t talk, you were scared that your voice might break, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t need to.

One step, two steps and you were standing right in front of him.

Taeyong’s face was completely wet from his tears and his big doe eyes trembled, tears still rolling down his pretty face.

You cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer to press your lips on his.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had kissed him or touched him. His lips were perfectly on yours, slowly kissing you with so much longing and passion.

He dropped the bouquet of roses in his hands and pulled you even closer. His hands were on your waist, holding you tightly. He was scared that you’d slip away or that he’d break you. He kissed you tenderly, you were so fragile in his hands he was scared to break you with a simple touch.

The two of you pulled away slowly, he never let go of you though. You hid your face in the crook of his neck and sobbed silently.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He whispered to you and hugged you as tightly as he could. He would never let go of you again.

“I love you so much Taeyong. I always loved you so much and I don’t think I can love anyone as much as I love you. I also need you in my life- the months without you- I just wanted to go back to the days we were happy. I miss those days so much Taeyong. I love my job, but I love you more.”

“I love you so much. I love you. More than anything else. I promise you I’ll give you everything you deserve and so much more. Okay baby? Just like back in the days. You and me against the world.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

After everything you’ve been through, you couldn’t let go of him. No matter how many times your cried yourself to sleep, in the end, the heart wants what it wants and yours wanted Taeyong.

The heart wants what it wants, baby It wants what it wants, baby It wants what it wants It wants what it wants

The heart wants what it wants, baby It wants what it wants

#taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong angst #nct #nct127 #nct127 angst #nct angst #taeyong x y/n #taeyong scenarios #taeyong x reader #nct fic #nct songfic #nct 127 taeyong #nct imagines #nct scenarios

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years ago

Text

DAY 18. INJURY.

A CHALLENGE WITH JAVIER PEÑA.

NARCOS ┃ USEFUL LINKS.

❝ words: about 700.

❝ warnings: the tittle says it. Angst, mention of blood, mention of injury, violence (?).

❝ a / n: you can send your threats to P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sidney, NSW. don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it, i’d really appreciate it!

A week has passed from your anniversary and Javi has kept his promise, taking you to your favorite place to have dinner and a lovely night. It doesn't matter if you've been together for the last year, the two of you still feel butterflies within your belly anytime the other smiles, holds the other's hand, or simply pronounces te amo. Also, the place can't be more perfect. Latin music sounding all around, different colors decorating the walls, candles illuminating the table —much better than one of these fancy restaurants where, in the end, you're hungrier than when you arrived.

Javi swings your hands laced, in silence and keeping his eyes to the front, coming back to the car to take you home and finish the night cuddling and watching a movie, taking the advantage that he has asked free the next morning to spend it with you in bed, as it's your day off too. Anything to compensate that he forgot your first anniversary. The most important day of your life.

“¿Te hace que veamos una de acción, ah?” You question, tangling your other arm around his to walk closer to him.

(Do you wanna see an action movie?)

“Nah, ya tengo demasiada acción en la vida… ¿Terror?”

(Nah, I have enough action in my day-to-day… Horror?)

“Tú lo que quieres es que me arrunche contigo…” You laugh shaking your head, watching him moving his to both sides with his lips puckered.

(You only want me to cuddle you).

“Es una forma de ve—”.

(That's one way to se—).

Javi doesn't finish his affirmation. A noise similar to a thunderbolt before a soft whistle cut off the conversation. When you're able to react, he has covered you with his arms, putting his back to the road. You feel all his weight falling over you and a moist heat staining your clothes. You two stumble to the floor under the attentive look of the passer-by walking around. Javi is almost shaking, grunting, crying. Your hands are covered in blood, but you don't feel any pain, just your heart about to jump off from your chest and abandon your body.

Its pace increases over level once you realize Javi is bleeding out. For a second, only for a second, you raise your eyes towards the two men openly, driving a cross bike down the avenue. You have seen their faces. And you're never going to forget them.

“¡Ayuda! ¡Ayuda, por favor!”

(Help! Someone help us, please!)

But nobody moves a finger as you continue pressing Javier's open wound. Two orifices. One on his back and another in his abdomen. In and out.

“Javi, Javi, mírame… mírame. No cierres los ojos”. At some point you've started to cry, begging for help from the people who are just staring at you in silence. “Mante— Mantente despierto, por favor… Por fa— Por favor”.

(Javi, Javi, look at me… look at me. Don't close your eyes. Ke— Keep awake, please… Ple— Please).

You have seen too many shots wounds in your life. You have removed one hundred bullets from any kind of body, but this is a different situation. A very different one. He is your boyfriend. The love of your life. You can't imagine a single day without him. And now, he's dying between your arms for protecting you.

You aren't sure from where you take the encouragement to take off his belt to make a tourniquet and urge him to press your jacket against it with the little strength he has, barely breathing. You stand up quickly, helping him to put on his weak feet and take him to his car —not really far away from your position.

The waiting room of the hospital is swarming with cops from the DEA and the national police when Steve and Connie arrive almost thirty minutes later. Till then, you've been in shock, just sitting on a chair looking at your trembling hands with dry blood wherever you look. Javier's blood. But when you see them appearing, you jump from your seat breaking into a loud cry. The blonde man welcomes you between his arms, tightly embracing you, as Connie tries to figure out how your boyfriend is. But they told her the same they have told you.

You have to wait.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17

NARCOS: @trulysuccubus @purrrrfect @diogodxlot @danniburgh @catcher11 @pedritobalmando @mys2425 @tanyaherondale @scullys-alienpussy @acourtofsnakes @pascalesque @encounterthepast @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @gemini0410 @nikkixostan @arveeee @cjbtw @goldielocks2004 @aurelie-celine @spideysimpossiblegirl @agirllovespancakes @kingpascals @im-an-adult-ish

#javier peña imagine #javier pena #javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena imagine #javier peña x you #narcos imagine #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n

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everafterkeiji · 4 years ago

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𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐓. 𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

PAIRINGS: pretty setter squad x gn! reader

GENRE: fluff everywhere

A/N: who can write hcs without dying from how adorable they are- i barely survived

⟡ 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐀, perfection is the only thing I can describe it as. He'd honestly plan out everything— definitely thinking about the possibilities of the boys finding him so he sings to you in a different place.

It's so simple but this man is showering you with the heart warming lyrics as he sings to you while twirling you around. He kisses your hand at the end of the song and you'd be flustered as hell but who wouldn't be?

After him literally owning your heart, he kept laughing at how flustered you were but he suddenly pulls out your favorite flower with a movie ticket attached to the stem.

"I figured you'd like the first half of this, why don't we advance to next part, love?"

⟡ 𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀 would simply agree to serenading you because firstly, this idea was brought by Suga and second he simply couldn't decline especially when they said Hinata would top him in singing. He genuinely wants to show you how much he likes you so he chose to do whatever it takes.

Late in the night, he calls up Hinata and aggresively asks him to come with him because he's nervousness was as high as the ceiling— honestly just prepare.

As Kageyama sings, Hinata badly wanted to laugh at how Tobio needed the lyrics in hand just to accomplish the song.

"Louder." Hinata whispers, making Kageyama whip his head to boy, glaring at him in the process making you laugh seeing a certain tangerine hair pop up.

"Huh?" Kageyama asked making Hinata mentally facepalm but he sighed.

"Louder! Sing louder, idiot."

"Oh." Kageyama proceeds to obey, but without a tune in sight making you come down to meet him, unable to stop yourself from laughing at how adorable he was. With you in front of him, he just stops singing before speaking.

"I l-l-like you- would you mind going on a date with me?"

⟡ 𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀 would honestly nail this but I can't say how long it'll take him to not lose his shit. He had the idea in his head when he overheard a girl gossiping how he wished she was serenaded making him think it's suddenly the most romantic thing to do.

This man will hands down search a song in a span of three hours just because he wanted to succeed so bad. Once he's found the song, prepare for a prince to come by your house. The setter has a bouquet in his hands with endless time practicing the song whether in his shower or during training, maybe even buy a mic for it to be perfect.

So imagine this handsome baby prepared to give you the performance of his life but his amazing and totally not disturbing third year friends pass him while he was singing.

"Eh Oikawa what's this?"

"I bet that his voice will crack."

"You're on."

"Guys!" Oikawa shouts making him pout but the third years laugh at him but once his friends seriously take in what he was doing, they try to cheer up the poor boy making you come down from your balcony.

Leaning a sweet peck on his cheek, making them all stunned as Oikawa stands with wide eyes and pink tinted cheeks, but this was quickly replaced with a smirk when his efforts weren't all wasted.

"Since we were rudely interrupted- what performance do you wanna see now, cutie?"

⟡ 𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈, baby you are so lucky to have this boy sing for you. Unlike Oikawa who searches for hours to find the perfect song, this pretty boy has the perfect song on his mind already, since you invaded his thoughts too much.

Romantic. That's all I can describe it. Unlike a bouquet or chocolates, Keiji prepared you letters— one where he confesses how much he liked you, and the others consisted of all the features he adored about you, each ending with "only yours, Akaashi."

Strictly wanted to do this alone but a certain ace comes along thinking he'd be harmless while it unfolded in front of him.

Beautifully singing with soft eyes on yours, you were obviously swooning before you see a sign come from behind Akaashi. "Date him!" Written three times in white paper with a smiling Bokuto pointing to Akaashi who had no idea that he was there. You chuckle as you meet with them, hugging Akaashi as he hands you the letters, kissing your hand once you received them.

"AKAASHI! YOU DID SO WELL!"

"B-BOKUTO-SAN?"

⟡ 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀 honestly needed the whole Nekoma team to do this but with threats from Kuroo to take away his game, he could never back down to be seperated from it. It was initially Kuroos idea but when Yaku dragged the idea longer, he took Yaku's judgement instead (sorry Kuroo). Just like Suga, he will not do it traditionally so when you two are hanging out in his house you'll hear faint singing from the fake blonde beside you.

I don't see him overthinking this because he trusts that you won't give him a crazy reaction knowing you two are such good friends, leading him to a state where he wanted to be yours.

He's playing his game, avoiding to hold eye contact with you so he doesn't go silent from how flustered he is but with his sweet voice blessing your ears, you instantly smiled before leaning your head on his shoulder, drowning in his song.

He smiles as he continued singing to you, leaning his head on yours as well.

⟡𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐈 has this in the bag. The song he'll sing to you is a song that he wrote about you long before, writing from the day he met you, to what he loved about you, to how much he likes you. Right in his room, playing his guitar while singing, complete lost in the music and envisioning a date with you in the process. You would obviously drop everything to have this moment again.

You can't miss the way he looks at you with shimmering eyes along with a smile, or even a smirk if you looked long enough. Would casually wink at you, making you lose your mind.

"I know I've sung all the things I wanted to say but is it possible to spend some more time with you this Saturday?"

⟡ 𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔, not gonna lie, he'd be cool about this. This particular setter just finds one song that made him thought of you and instantly goes with it. He thought it was silly at first to serenade someone but when he sees how the guy always get the person after they do it, the mans is hooked. Now this time, he actually takes time with his appearance and debating on what to give you.

You two are in your room as you constantly switch the channels when the song he wanted to sing to you was playing. He quickly shuffles out your bed as you stared with crazy eyes. He grabs a nearby brush flipping it in the air and catching it perfectly before pointing to you and singing the lyrics.

He'd hop you off your bed dancing around you, but he laughs from time to time making you laugh as well. You've finally familiarized yourself with the song so when he invites you to sing with him while holding out another brush to you, you gladly took it from his hands and sing with him, dancing around the room.

He was dancing with you but by the nearing end of the song he takes you in, twirling you before dipping you down looking at you seriously in your eyes, singing the last lyrics to the song. You were obviously speechless of this new side of Atsumu but he chuckles before speaking.

"So, do I get my lover now?"

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make-me-imagine · 4 years ago

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congrats on 5.5k!! you're insanely talented and I'm so happy you're getting the recognition you deserve 🥺🥺 could i join in the ship requests too?

I'm a rather small sized (like, 154cm & ~40kg kind of small) Asian female from a South East Asia country and i prefer men, especially men who are taller and Age Gaps™ 🥴 I'm not sure how much you know about/believe in astrology but I'm a Libra sun, Taurus rising and Capricorn moon so you can do what you want with that 😂

I'm an INTP/INFP (I've gotten both an equal number of times from sites OTHER than 16 personality, tho I personally vibe with INTP just a teeny smidge more) if you do MBTI ✌🏼 I LOVE to read, especially fanfiction lmao, and i also write! I really love listening to music + watching shows/movies too! My favourite shows are all mystery/crime based LOL and I am working towards becoming a criminal psychologist/forensic pathologist/forensic scientist in future! (heavily inspired by Criminal Minds, Sherlock, Detective Conan and the like so 😂) I have a really vivid and good imagination please i can spend DAYS just daydreaming and imagining scenarios that I never finish writing about & generally this is how all my work is never finished loll

I'm the eldest sibling at home, and my parents haven't always been around so I've been rather used to stepping up and taking care of myself (+ my sibling, like helping them with homework and all). Some people say I'm a natural born leader? idk bc I often step up to be the leader in group work & I'll often be the one to initiate things & all. I'm a rather big procrastinator though LOLL so you'll often catch me rushing my assignments & final projects & rushing my revision for exams + finals like, 2 days before the actual exam 💀 which often leads to me becoming more stressed out & breaking down more often than i actually should so 🥲 I'm trying to quit this bad habit though

I love cuddles and hugs please I will KILL for cuddles and hugs from my back by a tall character pls it just feels so safe and comforting to be spooned too 🥺🥺 sometimes when I'm too absorbed in work or something (which happens too often for it to be healthy) I might just forget to eat/sleep entirely AND also my sleep routine isn't the best. like i will literally fall asleep at 9pm, wake up in the middle of the night on my own at like, 1am, then usually I'll be rushing homework at this time, then maybe sleep again for a short while from 4ish? till when i have to get up for school/work at 5:30/6am 💀 there's been days where i literally looked so sick from the lack of sleep where my tutor once stopped the class to ask me if I was okay and if i was going to faint LMAO 😔 i feel like I'm a night owl??? but then also i have no problem getting up super early in the morning so?? but i really feel most at home and really enjoy the 3am nights 😌

i am also the class clown lol but it's bc i just make sarcastic comments and all and my friends think they're funny???? but also i enjoy making people laugh bc sometimes i find it interesting to try and see what kind of things make my friends laugh so it's lowkey an experiment? or like something i want to achieve? at this point. I'm fluent in English and Chinese/Mandarin and I'm learning Italian so I roughly know some basics, and I really enjoyed History, which I took last year but dropped this year. (I'm taking English Literature with Biology + Chemistry this year and they're all great, except I'm literally dying from the workload aaahhh 💀)

I'm kinda clumsy and Not Good™ at most sports, maybe passably okay for badminton but I'm really not that athletic and really not very keen on exercising either 😔 I'm quite creative and good with public speaking/creative writing/impromptu performance/speech though I'd say! I'm also in my school's drama club 😎 though I'm more of a backstage lights & sounds kind of person. I'm right handed (with a really neat handwriting, as I've been told many, many, many times) and I wear thin frame spectacles which I sometimes will fall asleep in & I'm so clumsy/careless that I'm actually really afraid I'd break them (it's happened before 😭)

I'm a really good planner? like i can do up a great and detailed schedule/plan for revision and all but i will NOT stick to what i plan 😭😭 i love to snack!!!! on chips + gummies especially, and my diet is quite unhealthy lmao i literally don't eat vegetables At All™ & i don't really eat meat that much too?? lmaoo please i can go for days without having a single proper meal & just survive on snacking on potato chips + soft drinks 💀 i am a very picky eater though so really me not finding food i like/am able to stomach is also really kind of my fault 🤡

while i really vibe with and love the dark academia aesthetic, i also do video/MOBA games, like i play games like Mobile Legends & all. I'm someone who knows most, if not all the lastest trends (like tiktok, memes etc) but i won't actively participate in them? i just kind of like to know things, like Knowledge is Power you know (I'm a Slytherin, in case you're wondering, though I've gotten Ravenclaw so often it's a close tie sometimes)

okay i feel like that's enough details about me? feels like I've told you nothing that's useful oh well LOL... I'd really love a ship for Criminal Minds and Marvel? if that's possible please? in case you missed it, i prefer men! (I'm a questioning bi, with a strong preference for men) for the hc prompt "what you do on your first date" or maybe "how you met + first impressions"?

thank you so much for being so kind and willing to do this ship requests thing!! I'm sure you're spending TONS of time and effort on this and aahhh i feel bad for typing so long paragraphs now (as you may have noticed i have a tendency to ramble on if not stopped because i am just really Socially Awkward ™ sometimes 💀 and have really bad (social) anxiety too) and i really think you're super amazing for doing this??? I'm so sorry if this took up too much of your time aaahhhhh thank you so so so much 🥺😭😭 really the biggest of congratulations to you for your 5.5k??? you really do deserve every single follower & i am SO insanely happy for you 🤩❤️

- 🌙🏒 anon

Don’t worry, you definitely provided enough information lmao.

And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it.

I hope you like the ships I made for you

They are under the cut:

Criminal Minds:

I ship you with Hotch.

You get the age-gap here lol. He would be a bit hesitant due to the age gap at first, but he would get over it because he can not resist. He does not seem like the type of cuddles, and especially does not take part in PDA. But when you are alone he would love holding you and spooning, especially after a long day of work. Aaron would be attracted to your uniqueness as well as your intelligence and aesthetic, finding it to be very “you”.

How you met + his first impressions:

You met when you were transferred to the BAU as the new Forensic Pathologist.

Hotch thought you were very interesting when you first met and was definitely intrigued by you.

He thought you fit in fairly well and would get along with the others (which you do).

He appreciates a sarcastic sense of humor, so he would dig that as well.

Hotch could tell you had a form of anxiety and wold be patient around you when you first met so that you could open up to him at your own pace.

What you do on your first date:

He takes you to a hockey game.

He is not the sportiest person but he has had an interest in hockey for a while, sometimes watching it on tv.

When he learned that you liked it, he decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to invite you on a date as well as to see his first game.

After the game, you walked around town for a bit, getting some late night food and talking or a long time.

This allowed you to open up to him quite a bit and you grew more comfortable around him as well, which he is very happy about.

Best Friend:

Your best friend is JJ. She thinks you are really cool and unique and nice. She has the type of personality that is easy t get along with and open up too, so you bonded with her quicker than the others. I also feel like she is into hockey as well, so she appreciates your love for it as well.

Marvel:

I ship you with Sam.

I think Sam is a good fit for you. He is into sports, and digs your aesthetic. He is easy to get along with and very funny. He thinks your line of work is very interesting and loves to listen to you talk about it. Sam also really enjoys crime shows ans thrillers so he is always excited to meet someone who enjoys them as well.

How you met + his first impressions:

You met through Nat, who you had met through SHIELD years before.

You happened to be at the compound with Nat when Sam was there and she introduced you.

He immediately thought you were pretty and very interesting.

Sam could tell you were shy, but that did not stop him from flirting.

Though he also made some jokes and was easy going as to not scare you off.

He made sure to ask Nat about you once you left and managed to convince her to give him your contact info.

What you did on your first date:

He took you to the movies first, to watch the most recent crime thriller that came out.

After the movie you went to a nearby park and walked around, talking about the movie and other crime/horror related stuff.

You got food at a food truck and sat by the fountain together.

He was appalled when you told him that you didn’t eat that often (if came a part of your relationship later on that he would try to cook you meals that you’d like just so you WOULD EAT).

You ended up spending hours together, and it felt like no time at all.

So you were definitely up for another date with him, which he of course asked you about.

Best-Friend:

Natasha. She was the first one you met, and slowly introduced you to the others. She thought you were really cool when you first met and was surprised at how well you go along. That is sometimes hard for her to do, so once you became friends she never took that for granted. She and Sam would gang up on you when you weren’t eating btw.

xxaaron

#ship #ships #ship request #5.5k ships #anon ship #anon #ask

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liibrii · 4 years ago

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In honour of today being National Culture Day in my country and exactly a year since I've seen my favourite band perform live, I've decided to take a minute and talk about Dream Theater. And by talk I mean mostly nerd out about my favourite songs and why I love them so much.

in case you haven’t heard of Dream Theater before, they’re an american progressive metal band, who’s been around since 1985. idk what else to say except even if you don’t like metal/rock give a listen to Beneath the surface.

tw: some pretty heavy topics such as death, murder, mental illness, alcoholism,...

so to start, I love the versatility of their songs and yet they still have that distinct Dream Theater sound. my favourite part of their music are the lyrics. a lot of them are inspired by their own personal experience, which often makes them just the more heart breaking. and for others, I don't know what creator juice these guys are on but I'd like some. they’re the kind of lyrics you want to read while listening to the music just to really get the meaning, and you spend days thinking about them. or maybe that’s just me. :D

also Petrucci's guitar skills are outta this world, which sadly often overshadows others who are also incredible musicians. I have a soft spot the singer LaBrie cause 1. his voice and singing are magnificent, and 2. he damaged his voice pretty badly but perservered even when critics weren’t very nice to his singing and I respect that.

I'll start with my favourite album (and the one I heard live) - Metropolis Pt. 2: scenes from a Memory. it's a concept album, which if you don't know is an album that has a single central narrative (can be lyrics, musical theme,...). in this case it tells a story of Nicholas, a man who keeps having dreams about a girl named Victoria, and how through hypnotic therapy he discovered he was her in the previous life. Victoria was murdered and her death never solved, so we follow him as he discovers the truth behind her death. I won't spoil it, in case you're curious but don't wanna read the lyrics you can find a synopsis here. I'll just say the story of this album is better than majority of movies.

If you put a gun to my head and made me choose my favourite song on this album it would be the very last one: Finally Free. it's charged with so much emotion, the way LaBrie sings the lyrics; you can tell which part belongs to which character, it's just soooo good! The way each repeats the lines This feeling / Inside me / I finally found my love (life) / I've finally broke free - and I'd go on but I'd get into spoiler territory. so. let's move on with the closing melody (it's not much of a melody, more like static) that becomes the opening of the first song on their next album Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence.

Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence is another concept album. this album. man, how do I even begin to explain it? I can't, you gotta listen to it. have you ever imagined an entire album telling stories of people living with things like alcoholism, post-partum depression, autism, schizophrenia? it may sound intimidating and I won't lie, some songs touch you so deeply it's hard to listen to them (looking at you Goodnight kiss).

and now that my fave albums are outta the way let's talk about my favourite songs in no particular order! (just a note, pretty much everything I’ll say about the lyrics is my personal interpretation)

Beneath the Surface (album: A dramatic turn of Events) - the one that makes me cry like a baby. the one I tefuse to shut up about. the story of two people who are in love, neither aware the other feels the same, both too scared to make a move till it’s to late and their feelings fade. just, listen to it, please. it’s also the least ‘metal’ of their songs, if that’s not the kind of music you’re fond of.

Spirit carries on (album: Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes from a memory): I can’t say much about it without spoiling the story of the album, so let’s say it was experience of a lifetime singing this song on the concert, off key and out of tune, with your bestfriends beside you, all of you crying. 10/10 experience.

Through her eyes (album: Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes from a memory) - same as Spirit carries on :D

Finally free (album: Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes from a memory) - the emotion!! I want to sing this song at the top of my lungs while it makes tears pour down my face. it’s such a good final song to this absolutely brilliant album.

Pull me Under (album: Images and Words) - when that LaBrie voice hits... if you’ve ever heard this song you know what I mean, and if you are yet too, you’ll know which part I mean. you’ll hear it, trust me. (it’s at 2:54)

Vacant (album: Train of thought): ah look, another song that makes me cry. LaBrie wrote this after his daughter fell into coma for 3 hours when she was 7, and let me tell you, you can feel the fear. easily one of their most heart breaking songs. but she’s okay now, don’t worry. :)

Stream of Consciousness (album: Train of Thought) - an instrumental song with guys just flexing their skills.

Wither (album: Black Clouds & Silver Linings) - the story behind this song is Petrucci had trouble coming up with new lyrics so this mad-lad pulled a UNO reverse card and wrote a song on having trouble creating. and as a writer who often hits writer’s block I relate to that.

Count of Tuscany (album: Black Clouds & Silver Linings) - the story of this song could easily be a movie. you meet a young count on your travels and he takes you to his home where his slightly eccentric brother lives, and before you know you’re terrified for your life. I have yet to hear a song that captures the fear of dying as well as this one. 20 minutes of pure bliss and singing at the top of your lungs.

Out of Reach (album: Distance over Time) - you know that feeling of falling for someone who’s out of reach? yeah, that.

Fall into the light (album: Distance over Time) - the line Too much love is not enough for us makes me question what is really important in life and I love it when songs make me think. it’s such a simple line and yet so powerful. (spare some of the creator juice?)

Ministry of Lost Souls (album: Systematic Chaos) - you thought we were done with songs that make me cry? ha, think again! this is the song that sold me on Dream Theater. the lyrics have 2 different interpretations, both of which are heart breaking and thus I won’t talk about them. :)

Prophets of War (album: Systematic Chaos) - I’m not saying it’s about the possible ulterior motives of the Iraq war buuuut... oh no, wait that’s exactly what the song is about.

Endless sacrifice (album: Train of Thought) - just a song about how relationships take work and compromising, especially when one is a musician and often on tours. Petrucci wrote this song for his wife. get you a man who recognises how much you’ve sacrificed to make the relationship work.

Build me up, break me down (album: A dramatic turn of events) - I have no other reason for liking this song other than it is an absolute banger.

Panic Attack (album: Octavarium) - this song includes my favourite singing from LaBrie. goosebumps every time. and also the suffocating feeling of pure panic, the paralysis you feel are so well reflected in the music it’s unreal.

Octavarium (album: Octavarium) - this song has my fave line: It's wonderful to know that I could be / Something more than what I dreamed. and it also takes the award of “Lyrics whose meaning I’ve been trying to figure out for years and still have no clue“. and the orchestral parts of this song... I hope to get a chance to hear it live one day.

I was debating putting some of my favourite lyrics here but I think this post is already long enough. :)

in conclusion, I love Dream Theater and I hope they keep making music!! ♡

#dream theater #libri speaks #I just wanted to get this outta my system #things you didn't ask for #might edit/update later

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gameting · 6 years ago

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“If you haven’t heard of this game already then that’s okay, but if there’s room under that rock what’s the rent like?”

Minecraft Review - Perfectly crafted

Originally created by Markus Persson in 2009, published by his own company funded by the game's huge success Mojang in 2011, and bought out by Microsoft in 2014, the original Minecraft is a far cry from the most current release. Having been in constant development for a decade it's safe to say that Minecraft has only grown mightier as the years have gone by.

The charming pixelated sandbox has gained a following akin to other gargantuan franchises like Star Wars or Disney, striking a flame with the first Minecraft convention dubbed 'Minecon' in 2010. The game itself is very much a love child of the now billionaire Markus' favourite games of the time, and what started out as a passion project has since become a staple of the gaming world.

Story: As a completely open world experience the 'story' of Minecraft is entirely in the players hands; Want to spend the next three weeks farming? Go for it! Want to focus on finding that sweet spot to build your next house? Build away! Wanna murder some tall purple-black dudes who steal your stuff and then use their eyes to find and jump into a portal to then fight a massive dragon? Yeah, me too! The story of Minecraft is non-existent; it's a truly open 'sandbox' experience where the player has total freedom.

As time has gone by however there have been updates that add end goals, such as the aforementioned dragon, but there's no “Nice one for completing the game!” screen so to speak. So what is there to do in Minceraft if there's no story, no tension, no drama or purpose? Well...

Gameplay: The gameplay can be stripped down to four basic functions: kill, eat, build, sleep. At least that's what the alpha version could have been described as. Now, however, you can ride pigs, plant wheat, breed animals, fly, enchant weapons, fish, that's right I did say fly, kill under water zombie dudes, ride horses, keep cats, ride carts, and of course mine AND craft.

It isn't very telling from the list, but there is a lot to do in Minecraft that I haven't even mentioned. So much so that if you leave the game for a few months you could come back to entirely new items and features that seemed inconceivable in the past. I mean the fact that you can fly now? I don't even know how to do that I just saw a friend do it and I've already poured the last week into trying to find out how.

I mentioned that you can enchant weapons, but you can also enchant yourself, albeit temporarily, through the use of potions. Get some glass, make a bottle, and you're one step closer to being able to see better in the dark, jump really high, do more damage or even swim faster under water. The amount of stuff to do in Minecraft can be dizzying, but part of the fun is trying to figure out how to do everything as hard as you can before turning to the wiki.

There are of course baddies in the game outside of dragons and block stealing weirdos; zombies, creepers (the green thing that go boom), skeleton archers, drowned (wet zombies), slimes, blazes (hot shooty boys), spiders, baby zombies and drowned (the worst), Ghast (big white screamy memey shooty boys) and of course other players, the latter of which is one of the best ways to experience the game.

The world in which you inhabit in any video game is just as important as the baddies you slay. Some games push you down linear corridors, some games even tie you to a single path and all you can really do is aim and shoot, and while some games give you large sprawling maps for you to explore at your leisure, in Minecraft, well, the world is made of “chunks” as we pros call it, and it never ends. No, really, it never ends, the game world is procedurally generated, which means you can pick a direction and keep going until you find the perfect mountain to make your home.

There are also a variety of landscapes in the game: taiga (snowy bois), deserts, giant mushrooms, dark woods, regular woods, birch woods, mountain ranges, swamps, igloos, flat plains, and sometimes it's just a lot of water. Whatever your favourite flavour of the real world is, Minecraft has it, and with the ability to pick your seed (the combination of numbers generated when a world is made) you can customise the world you inhabit.

The following of Minecraft also came with game altering mods that can add new blocks, features, animals, bad dudes, good dudes, currency, heck you can even mod in completely different game modes which have since become easily accessible outside of the modding community.

All of this is wrapped up in an easy to learn control scheme with hit, not hit, jump, other not hit, crouch, move around and change your characters perspective between first and third person.

Graphics: Imagine really cool pixel art. Just loads of squares dude.

Sound: The sound design in Minecraft is just so good. Open a door? Mm chunky door sound. Walking on some snow? Crunchy snow sound. The sound effects for items in the game are top notch, but the game really shines with the sounds of the enemies, specifically the creepers. Casually mining and you hear that hissing sound? Well, you were mining.

The music in the game is, as it always has been, gorgeous. Subtle tones that chime in from time to time, gentle piano as the rain starts to fall, ominous noises that can only be described as “bwam” while exploring the depths of the world, all of it works together to create a cohesive sound scape that peacefully fits to whatever you're mining, crafting or slaying. Every thing sounds as it should, and the music has a mind of it's own so it never feels noisy or excessive.

Personal experience: My first real experience with Minecraft was after I 'legally' downloaded it with 'money' on 'my' computer in my own home with my 'hands' on a 'keyboard.' It was an early alpha build and I remember running away from zombies and the hissy green boys by hiding in a mountain. I figured, y'know, wait until day, hang out, then dig my way back to the real world. Only, I'd forgotten which way was out, I wasn't paying attention and ended up spending half an hour punching my way out of an endless wall of dirt.

Between then and now I'm only slightly better at building a 9x9 wooden house, and the green boys don't scare me (as much) any more. Minecraft has been a game that I've left and returned to multiple times, and now as I write this review I find myself playing online with a friend and more invested than ever; when do we fly I ask, I don't know maybe after the dragon my friend replies, and we continue to routinely murder the same bloodline of cows until we're both wearing pink boots and hats. I'd say play it with friends, but sometimes going it alone is just as fun.

Score /10: To be honest I was going into this review with a number in mind, but now that I've finished it I have to say I'm going to keep the number: it's a 10/10. From the timeless gameplay, to the addictive nature of mining and crafting, and figuring out how the hell to fly, I find myself captivated by the simplistic depth of Minecraft, the allure of dying all my sheep the same colour and making all my tools shiny. Definitely leaving my Minecraft world in my will/10.

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ladyslounge-blog-blog · 5 years ago

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If you're bored, you're boring

Dear Jennifer June, I follow you on Instagram, Facebook and twitter. You seem so down to earth and fun, even now, during this global disaster. I don't know how you do it! Sorry for writing about something so depressing, I'm sure you have more interesting things to do than read this, but I'm having a hard time coping with this whole Corona Virus thing and you're basically my idol and there's nobody's advice I would cherish more than yours at a time like this. It's hard enough living alone in this 3 story house, with nobody to talk to but my extraordinarily independent, mute, non-shedding, hypoallergenic cat, and nothing to do but play my baby grand piano, cook in my Wolfgang Puck inspired kitchen, and watch the plants in the solarium grow, without having to try to make sense of all the contradicting political and public service announcements on the news - on top of it all. How do you stay so grounded and levelheaded during this crisis? Anxious and alone, with nobody to share any of my wine with, Samantha P.S. I love your hair like that. You’re so pretty. Dear Samantha, Thank you so much for following me, and for your very kind words. I know that times like these can be very trying for anyone, and I honestly can't imagine how hard it must be for you to have all that empty quiet space to occupy all by yourself. The solarium alone sounds dreadful. I don't know if they will be of any use to you but here are 10 of the tools that have kept me calm, reflective and mentally grounded over the last few weeks. Regular exercise - At least 4 times a week (weight training, cardio, stretching etc.) Ritual - meditation, prayer, lighting candles, manifesting and projecting feelings of love and positivity for others, iChing, vision cards, visualizing acts of kindness etc... Weekly check-ins with a fabulous therapist who reminds me to honour all of my feelings and be true to myself. Minimum of 90 minutes daily gentle hand-picking of individual cat hairs out of every single inch of fabric/carpet/my body that I can find. Poking my lettuce seedlings with a chopstick several times a day to "check" if they're growing. Robert Mondavi Private Selection Cabernet Sauvignon Bourbon Barrels Sartori Valpolicella Superiore True Zin Puglia Boisseaux-Estivant Réserve de la Chèvre Noire Bourgogne Santa Julia Biologique Cabernet-Sauvignon Mendoza Hope this helps! JJC Dear Jennifer June, I've been to pretty much every single show you've ever done, and I love how funny you are. Everything you say on stage is so relatable even though you're obviously cooler, smarter and prettier than me. I got 3 cats and 1 dog because of you and I named them Phoebe, Flo, Willow and Nina, just like yours! But not in a creepy way. Anyway, enough about me, but not really because I'm writing to you about me, because this quarantine vibe has me so down, I can't take it anymore. Ugh, Montreal is supposed to be the city of lights, or the city that never sleeps or whatever but I'm so lonely and bored, I literally almost thought about inviting my pharmacy delivery guy in for a drink yesterday when he came to deliver my topical rash ointment. You post the coolest stories on IG and you seem to be actually having fun. What do you do all day? How are you not dying of boredom right now? PS Prescription guy - cute a f Bored Becky Dear Bored Becky, Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm so glad you enjoy the shows. I'll be honest with you Becky; I have never once been bored in my adult life. I am actually fortunate enough to be able to work from home at the moment. I also have many projects on the go at all times. I love spending time with my family, listening to music, reading, and cooking. I also try to truly savour the rare moments that I get to just sit back and relax, whether it's in an Epsom salt bath, in a pile of blankets and cats (hair) on the sofa, or in a pool of my own nap drool /cry-orgasm-tears at the foot of the basement stairs. I think that first, it's important for you to ask yourself, are you truly bored? Or are you feeling something else. Possibly, what you're feeling is avoidant. Maybe you're trying to procrastinate. Perhaps you're simply paralyzed with terror because the whole world has the fucking plague and people are smashing into each other in the streets like a swarm of contagious germ feast zombies. Or maybe you're truly bored, Becky. And if you are.... Well, I don't want to be the jerk who says "If you're bored, you're boring" but I am, and it's true. Seriously Becky, there are 22 different species of squirrel (in Canada) to post photographs of on Instagram, 165 shows on Netflix, over 100 knitting stitches you can learn, 19054 different red wines at the SAQ, millions of bananas that have not yet been baked into loaves of bread, and 64 editions of Guinness World Records, compiling thousands of really fun, super safe feats for you attempt to break, from the comfort of your own home, including heaviest weight lifted by human beard, most apples crushed with the bicep and longest fingernails grown by a woman. Hope this helps! JJC Dear Jen, First: You’re hilarious and I LOVE your dog. Second: I have a never-ending to-do list that I always say I don't have enough time to tackle. Thanks to the global pandemic, I am currently unemployed and under quarantine, which means that I have all the time in the world. I don't know why, but for some reason, I can't seem to get my shit together and do any of the things on my list. I basically just scroll through Instagram, watch television, drink wine and bake cookies. I feel so lazy, I'm even embarrassed to be sending this to you. I mean, I know that this kind of life changing event is enough to cause anybody trauma and make them feel creatively blocked, if not paralyzed. And I get that I should try to be self-compassionate and realistic about what I my limitations are under these times of great stress, but I can't help but feel a little bit guilty for not being able to do more. Is there something wrong with me? Shauna Dear Shauna, I think it's super important to remember that despite all the extra time you might have on your hands, it can be difficult to find inspiration for anyone right now. The fear of the unknown, being inundated with a storm of anxiety-inducing news and so much contradicting information that leaves us entirely confused as to whether to go for walks or not go for walks, wear masks or not wear masks, stay 6 feet from people or 6 meters from people etc... It's a lot and can be really demotivating and even completely draining. That having been said... Get off the damn sofa and do the shit on your god damn list. If months go by and you come out of this with nothing done but 15 new pounds gained on your lazy ass, you're going to fucking hate yourself. Study your damn Italian, post the dumplings on your vegan web site and do those stupid stair push-ups every stupid day or you will keep crying every time you can't do more than 10 of them. Oh! And write your book already!!! You have time to send 86 memes back and forth with your kids and post pictures of squirrels on Instagram every single day, sew 4 pairs of pyjamas, bake cookies you don't want to eat, watch every single episode of Game of Thrones in under 2 weeks, set up a photography corner in the basement that you don't use, and try all 19054 different red wines they sell at the SAQ, meditate, pray, light candles, manifest and project feelings of love and positivity for others, throw the iChing, pull vision cards, and visualize acts of kindness, and write not 1, not 2, but 3 drippy whiney love songs that you'll never let anybody hear because they're "not funny", "not done", and "not good enough", but you can't write a single chapter for your book? Are you kidding me right now? Jen seriously! Get it the fuck together. Hope this helps! PS My dog smells like rotting Doritos. JJC Read the full article

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kingracer97 · 6 years ago

Text

Tagged by @kathyorihara

Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people

Star Sign: Capricorn

Height: 5'7"

Gender: Male

Birthday: January 6th

Relationship Status: Single. Always single.

Who's my crush? My best friend. She knows. You might see a couple posts towards her here and there because I have not a soul to talk to about it.

Song that's stuck in my head: Machine by Imagine Dragons.

Last movie: Deadpool 2.

Last TV Show: Criminal Minds

Why I created this blog: I had Tumblr in highschool then quit using it for a while, then got a phone and found the mobile app and created this blog when I forgot my old login info. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What do I post/reblog: whatever I want to. It's my blog. Mostly How to Train Your Dragon, memes, music, TV shows, etc.

Last thing I Googled: The lyrics to Machine

Favorite song lyric: I listen to so much music I don't have an exact favorite off the top of my head but it can most likely be found in an Imagine Dragons song.

What are you wearing: Basketball shorts. That's it.

Dream job: When I was little I always wanted to be a Veterinarian, now that I'm older and sick and tired of school over decided I want to take the path of becoming a Veterinary Nurse which is what I'm currently pursuing with a little over a year to go.

Currently reading: Does my anatomy book count?

Top 3 Universes: Marvel, How to Train Your Dragon, and Harry Potter.

Last time I cried and why: I don't recall the last time I cried actually but it was most likely due to a bad night of feeling worthless.

Picture of me:

Idea of a perfect date: Honestly just spending any time at all with her would be fine by me. Watching her enjoy something she really cares about it the best thing in the world.

Fact about my life: I have 8 brothers and sisters. We're all adopted.

One thing I regret: Letting someone go.

First celebrity I think of when someone says attractive: Sebastian Stan. I'm straight and all but I would let that man do unholy things to me.

Ever taken nudes? ...Yeah.

Have I ever had a crush? Currently. Our relationship can be compared to that of Jim and Pam from the first two seasons of The Office.

Have I ever been in a fistfight? No. I don't like getting into conflict.

Have I ever snuck out of the house? Yes. Was at a friend's and we went out to fuck around in the woods while his parents were asleep.

Have I ever had unrequited love? Who hasn't?

Have I ever skipped school to do something more fun? Yes, but not until I got in college.

Have I ever been on a plane? Nope.

Have I ever kissed a picture? Also nope.

Have I ever touched a snake? Hell yeah and it was neat.

Have I ever felt like dying? Every Tuesday and Thursday this semester at 8AM when I have Diseases of Livestock with the most boring professor on the face of the planet.

Have I ever done something I told myself I wouldn't? Absolutely.

Phobia: Heights. But only man-made heights? If that makes sense. I could stand on the porch of a cabin in the mountains and look out across the valley all day long, but roller coasters? Ferris wheels? Skyscrapers? No, thank you.

Middle name: Wayne. You're welcome.

Am I a virgin? Yep.

Sexual orientation: Straight.

Smoking, Drugs, or Alcohol? Tried all 3, not really a fan.

Someone I miss? Several people.

Favorite ice cream flavor? Plain vanilla is the best.

One insecurity: My weight.

What my last text message says? Sent: "Sleep well Molls, I'll see you in the morning." Received: "See ya!"

Ever painted my room? Nope, but I've painted cabinets for my mom. And the kitchen.

Have I ever kissed a member of the same sex? No.

Have I ever slept naked? Yeah, and probably would more if I didn't live with my parents.

Have I ever been dumped? 3 times.

Have I ever stole money from a friend? No.

Have I ever gotten into a car with someone I just met? No.

Have I been arrested? No. I haven't been a rested since the day I was born.

Have I ever made out with a stranger? No.

Have I ever met with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Yes.

Have I ever left the house without telling my parents? Yeah but just to go outside when I get to stressed out.

Have I ever had a crush on my neighbor? Considering all my neighbors are family, no.

Have I ever slept in a bed with someone of the same sex? No.

Have I ever see someone die? No.

Favorite Harry Potter spell? Definitely Accio.

Have I ever hated the way I look? Hell yeah I have.

Have I ever witnessed a crime? Only the crime of radio stations playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving.

Have I ever pole danced? Hell no.

Have I ever been lost? Oh yeah.

Have I ever been to the other side of the country? I live in the middle of the U.S. so the closest I've ever been to the east or west coasts is Cherokee, North Carolina.

Tagging 10 people because I'm too lazy to find 20: @ashleybenlove @evilwriter37 @ultimatefandomtrash61 @primedoverlord @smidvargandthegang @graphrofberk @wilderwestking @kingofthewilderwest @whosthatgal

Tagged by@that-freaky-otaku

Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people

Star Sign: ♓

Height: 4'11 (think honey senpai from ouran or tsu from bnha)

Gender: female

Birthday: March 7th

Relationship status: not discussing that

Who is your crush: no one

Song that is Stuck in Your Head: nobody’s fool by bvb not sure if that’s the name.

Last Movie: Gnome home

Last T.V Show: icarly

Why You Create this Blog: my friends wanted me to so I did and I found a lot of my ship at that time.

What Do You Post/Reblog: Anime stuff,art, opinions I like, etc.

Last Thing You Googled: Nathan kress (freddy from icarly)

Favorite song lyric: idk there’s a lot

What Are You Wearing: My pjs which are my bnha shirt, mickey mouse pants and a sweater.

Dream Job: Don’t know I wanted to design clothes the I wanted to write now I want psychology so I won’t disappoint my parents.

Currently reading: random manga from mangakalot. Last one was ‘My wife’s a man’ it was cute.

Top 3 Universes: idk I’ll die in all of them

Last time I cried and why: a day ago I’ve been very emotional idk why.

A picture of me:

Ideas of a perfect date: Nightmare before Christmas playing on the tv while we sit on the couch wrapped in the same blanket drinking hot chocolate.

A fact about my life: I have parents with issues in their marriage and sometimes I wish they end it or fix it in a better way.

What’s one thing you regret: ever applying for uni and not comunity college.

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: Jakub Gierszał

Have you ever taken a picture naked? No

Have you ever had a crush? Yeah they were an asshole.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? I have not but someone wants to fight me rn. They sound like a stalker talking about.

Have you ever snuck out of your house? Technically yeah but it was to send shit feom the ups store.

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? No I’m a chciken

Have you ever been on a plane? No

Have you ever kissed a picture? No

Have you ever touched a snake? No I like danger noodles but I’m scared of touching one.

Have you ever felt like dying? Yes a lot

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yeah

Phobia: The dark, being alone friend wise, zoom in on holes? Look up zoomed in eye. Ghost if I sence a heavy energy. A bunch others.

Middle name: Lisbeth (I used to spell it with a Z until I saw it was spelt other wise.)

Are you a virgin? Yeah

What’s your sexual orientation? Straight

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? Nope never gonna

Someone you miss: old pets

Favorite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip. I like the taste of tooth paste (joke).

One insecurity: Just one? My stomach I will have a panic attack if I feel someone can see it in clothing that shows it.

What my last text message says: ok

Have you ever painted your room? Yes many times cuz my mom wanted to.

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? No

Have you ever slept naked? No.

Have you ever been dumped? No.

Have you ever stole money from a friend? No

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? Does lyft count

Have you ever been arrested? No

Have you ever made out with a stranger? No

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? No more like I just showed up at their house with my other friend.

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? Yes to drop off things

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? No

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? My sisters and my friend at acen.

Have you ever seen someone die? No

Favorite Harry Potter spell: don’t know harry potter just the vague summary.

Have you ever hated the way you look? All the time.

Have you ever witnessed a crime? Yes. Someone tried to break into my mom’s car. A squatter in a house we’re flipping.

Have you ever pole danced? No

Have you ever been lost? Yes

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?: like I’ve traveled to NY and cali and shit.

I tagg @sunfowa @bunnies-and-bishamonten @orion98 @efflictimx @choke-me-sweet-pea @natarisaru @spookinferno @imarvelentertainment @plsdontharmme @turtlelov66 @engrosse-d @animetsgtyurionks @syb3rstrife @self-concious-strawberry @someinternetkidd @art-in-distress @justanotherprdevotee @thepumpkinphan @wndasmximoff @failing-lungs

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existentialstatesofmind · 8 years ago

Conversation

Opening Up

Clare: couldn’t imagine living with so many people. Sure she got lonely because her parents were too busy fighting to pay as much attention to her as they used to. But she didn’t wish she had more siblings. She just wanted Darcy to come home so she wouldn’t have to go through ‘the divorce’ alone. She smiled at Kota. He was here for her and that’s all she needed from him. Clare always felt a little better when she got these things off her chest. Of course it was really her family who needed to hear her out. All she could do was keep trying. “You’ve got it. Oh god, can you imagine? Ten years from now.” She chuckled. “You want to belong there. Be apart of everything. As long as you’re happy, I wouldn’t want you to leave anyway. I’d miss you at school.” She kissed his cheek. “It probably is. I don’t think most people trust their kids to watch each other. Or use the stove.” Clare nodded. She wasn’t sure if Darcy had an extended visa or what. Traveling overseas was completely new to her. Clare would be using an (expedited) passport for the first time on this trip. She tried not to think about the long flight and all the security checkpoints they’d have to go through because it made her nervous. “So teenagers in Japan have a lot more responsibility. Maybe freedom too?” Clare concluded. “I’m looking forward to that part myself.” They’d still have adults to answer to but no one was going to come up with as many crazy rules as her mom. “Yeah. I know. Hopefully we won’t spend the whole semester feeling lost.” She shrugged. “Fine with me. I don’t want to make enemies. I’ll also wear a press pass around my neck so they’re less likely to get the wrong idea. I kinda know why Yohio has fans but what’s the deal with Yamanishi?” She asked curiously. Clare didn’t want to be out of the loop. If his fan girls were going to be jealous of her just for talking to him she should know why. “Marilyn was so talented! It's such a shame people forget what she was famous for in the first place, acting. I love classic movies.” Clare gushed, pleased she’d had at least one thing in common with Makayla. “Of course I’m more of a Audrey Hepburn type.” She admitted, laughing at the idea of anyone comparing her to Marilyn Monroe. “At ten, I think my main hobby was playing barbies. Well besides reading.” Which was why it was hard to think of anything else to ask. She’d changed so much and Makayla would’ve too. Clare bit her lip. “No it’s not fun to be sick.” She muttered. Her whole face lit up and she returned the kiss. “I love you too. That’s the first time we said the words to each other you know. I never said them to a boy before.” She whispered leaning back against Kota and entwining her fingers with his. She was a lot more comfortable sitting on Kota’s lap now than she’d been at first. “I don’t know much longer we should stay.” Clare added nodding towards Jill.

Kota: smiled when Clare kissed his cheek. "I'd miss you too." he spoke. "In Japan most girls are taught to cook young, though some refuse and learn later. Those that cook young are mainly the ones that babysit young. If your family has a restaurant or cafe in Japan it's run by the family from ages 6 and up, though they have small jobs and choose what they want to do. If you start to get bad grades while holding a job, you're forced to quit. As for freedom, students are only able to work Saturday after school, all day Sunday, and days they're off school such as winter vacation. They only get more freedom if they don't have a job. Which reminds me we'll be ahead of everyone when we get back." he explained and listened to her when she mentioned getting lost. "You won't. I know the halls there having wondered around them before looking for Yohio when I was there last summer." he explained. "Well it was our summer.." he trailed off. "Crap, I keep calling us third years when we'll only be second years in Japan. Their High School life is only three years grades 10-12. I'll have two managers in Kendo Club this year since the new manager will be leaving second semester next year." he explained to her. "Also in Japan you don't eat in the cafeteria, you eat in your homeroom unless you're me and I eat on the roof and the entire school goes to lunch at the same time which is 1pm. On Mondays we have no after noon classes because we have an hour long homeroom rather than a five minute homeroom. And our classes change in March based on how you did on your midterm, I'm going to take the midterm, but for you it's optional and you have a class with Eli, Alli, and everyone since I'm going to World History, you will also have music with them while I go to calligraphy." he added and chuckled when she mentioned wearing a press pass. "Sorry, but they won't know what that is. There are no school papers in Japan and suggesting one is futile because the clubs are only an hour long and third years leave their clubs in the first or second week of the school year." he said honestly. "Yamamishi has a fan club strictly because he's the school president. School presidents are determined by entrance exams, the student that has the highest school upon entering is made the school president which is the highest honor in school. He has no club activities other than student council, he has the final decision on what's happening in Cultural Festival and Sports Festival, as well as the same duties school presidents have here only if Yamamishi's grades drop he loses the title and the vice president takes over." he said and rubbed the back of his head. "I was told I also have a fan club in Japan by a friend, though my fan club isn't as bad as Yohio's. Said friend already told everyone I have a girlfriend so once I enter the school gates with you and let everyone know you're my girlfriend, girls will leave you alone simply because I'll know if they do something and if anyone in the fan club upsets me, the whole club turns against them. It's like that with all fan clubs in schools." he let out knowing he had to tell her before she found out from someone else. "Audrey was Makayla's second favorite." he chuckled. "I can't tell you if she played Barbies or not because I never saw them. If she did she hid them really well when I came over." he shrugged and listened to Clare. The moment she mentioned it was their first time exchanging I love you's he covered his face with his hands so Clare couldn't see him blush. "I'm happy I said that and that you love me back, but I wasn't thinking when I said it." he exclaimed as he kept his hands over his face. "You're the first girl I said those words to as well." he nodded as he kept his hands over his face for a few more moments when Clare mentioned Jill. "We can leave if you want." he said and Jill looked at him. "Can you sing my favorite part of Bombs on Monday?" she asked softly and Kota moved Clare so she was in between his legs and his arms were wrapped around her middle. "That's too depressing plus I don't want it to hit too close to home for Clare so I'll sing a different part." he assured and pulled Clare closer to him. "Eyes like hazel twinkle in the starlight even when they're crying even when they're crying. Constellations forming out of scar lines even when they're dying love will still be trying." he sang and hummed the tune to help her sleep. "Ready to go?" he asked.

#ou

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