#imagine my surprise when i discovered many of them have adult children they don't do any of this for

[beeseverywhen]

The good thing about living in a block of flats is when your neighbour is irrationally angry about something you have no control over you CAN just ignore them and in no time they'll find a new neighbour to get angry at instead, allowing you to just stand by the door and get the news without being directly shouted at

[caloalvarado]

One night we were watching videos of nostalgiacore, dreamcore and liminal spaces. The slow tempo and reverb of the music and the vhs filter of the footage creates such a soothing and confortable atmosphere. Such an "i have been there sensation".

When it comes to the surrealist landscapes of the dreamcore aesthetic its obviusly that i was never there, at least not phisically.

Talking about liminal spaces we have been there but also we haven't. We walked in Malls but not the one on the photo, Scratched our knees on the playground, not the one portrayed. Even when we were never in the exact same location, we visited places so similar that liminal spaces can make us feel nostalgic.

However nostalgiacore its all about nostalgia (its quite literal its name), and can be quite efective for us that grew in the 2000s,.Those candies, toys, tv shows and retro games really reach deep into us, like do you remember using My First Encarta for high school homework. Hours trying to find an alledged secret level in our favorite videogame, The adventures we could live only whit toys and imagination, even those toys that we could never have but we remember how we wished them. Those snacks you really had to bargain to be able to eat them.Such memories can be really nostalgic for many of us who grew up in the first decade of the 21st century and we think: "How we miss those" but thats a lie we tell ourselves.

We could easily download(though not so ethical or legal method) the aforementioned encyclopedia and even play the games on the kids version but doesnt feel right, its because we don"t miss the software, we miss that excitement of discovering something new.

That favorite game most likely has not became lost media and we can play it as an adult but it does not feel the same, all to the cause we never missed the game, we miss that sense of surprise after unlocking a new level or area or that sense of self worth after defeating a particulary hard one.

Most of us could go and buy the toys we miss, even finally do what our child self once said: "when i got my own money i will sure buy that toy my caregiver wont give me". Will we buy it?, most likely not, the reason, we don't the toy but rather miss the times when the only ones who we buy stuff for is ourselves, to have fun. Not like now that many in the world buy everything they own to impress others than couldn't care less.

We do not miss the past, we miss that child that years ago looked back at us when we looked at the mirror. There is a cute combination of ignorance and stupidity we call "the innocence of children", that made that kid in the past think that humanity had any hope left.Think the world of the then tomorrow that became the present world of today would be amazing and full of wonders and freedom we miss that dead child we once were.

But in reality the inner child its not really dead. They talk to us when we face the stimuli we talked about here, telling us: "look how happy you were when i was in charge"; the inner adult then looks at the child whit sorrow and sadness, because they know that the innocence and joy of the inner child can be easily mistaken for weakness. and they know how much humankind love hurting each other, and how being seen as weak paints you a target for mistreatment.

"Remember how happy we were when i was in charge, not worring about the money, to be liked by people you don't know them and they do know even less about you, or to not become homeless, now i see you horrified of becoming unable to work, why would i be so obsessed whit working?" said the inner child

"Your words put a smile on my face but also a slight pain on my chest oh innocent one, you were never worried about most of the things that steal my nights of sleep, the things that take away the melanin of my hair because someone else was worrying in your place, Can't you see we are alone little one. You are scared of the monsters from the movies, the demons that you were told about on the temple. Listen kid, i know the lowest of our kind and the day you learn the reach of human evil and cruelty, is the day demons stop being scary.

So please forgive me if i erected huge walls whose weight opresses our happiness. Its what i must do to keep ourselves safe in this hell we call earth" replied the inner adult engaging in a dialog we call nostalgia

[mythoughtsneedtogosomewhere]

Day 1/30: Thoughts on the Multiverse

My friend challenged all of his followers (so therefore me because I take everything personally) to a 30-day writing challenge. I, at first, wasn't going to participate because I don't consider myself a proper writer and I can't really think of what I’d want to write. So, this side of the Internet, prepare to enjoy 30 days of stream-of-consciousness nonsense. Hopefully, some of it will be amusing or entertaining, if only to myself😂.

I just saw the new Spider-Man with my friend-like I’m typing this as I’ve just crashed on my bed after getting back from the theatre. It got me thinking, like how all great movies about the multiverse do (shoutout to Everything Everywhere All at Once😎), about all the paths not taken in life, how things would have changed if you stepped on one leaf rather than the other. All the people we could’ve been. All the people we could still be.

This friend I went to the movies with is someone I’ve “known” all my life in that we’ve been “friends” since we were babies. I use quotation marks because I think we've maybe hung out no more than 5 times before today, and those hangouts were Years apart. We met in montessori school, our parents were friends, and that was that. Somehow, it has always been a friendship full of ease and affection in that no matter how long it’s been we can always pick back up as close and in sync as ever, even if we may not actually know each other that well if I think harder on it, which I find both charming and hilarious. I’ve been discovering I have lots of friendships like that, where I get to discover new bits and pieces of these people I’ve held closer and at a distance in varying ways throughout my life. The wonder in rediscovering a person, in making a new friend out of your old friend. [Though honestly that's bound to happen because a lot of my childhood friendships centered around the joy and surprise of seeing them at whatever location my parents had dragged me to, with very little intentional effort to hang out independently outside of these events for some reason. So of course I'm learning new things about their childhood that I wasn't privy to. 💀children are dumb, but despite it all pre-middle school me had excellent taste in friends. Anyways...]

In both of these friendships, I find myself wondering what life would’ve been like if we were closer when we were little, if I had had the same intentionality about staying in touch and meeting up regularly as I do now, yes it was largely out of my control but still. What would our relationship be like now? People influence each other in a myriad of ways. That’s been emphasized in various ways across so many mediums. People change people, etc. So, if we step on that leaf, what would have changed? How would it have changed who I am now? Would I have been a calmer, less anxious child? Would I have been a bolder adult? How would I have impacted them?

We’re continuously shaped by the events that happen to and around us and the people we interact with. I wonder who we’d be without all of the life-altering, at times traumatic, events we’ve experienced throughout our lives. I catch myself thinking about a world where I was never born too early, no surgeries, no scars, no figuring out what healthy looks like for me compared to other people, and no unsupervised hyperactivity resulting in more scars (Enroll your kids in activities people. All the activities. Burn out all the excess energy before they start doing creative homemade gymnastics just trust me). Who would I be if I hadn’t experienced certain losses? Grown up in the house that I did, with the parents I had? In these imaginings I always picture someone bolder, happier, more self-assured, more steady, but would I have been as empathetic? As eager to please? Would I have still been a hugger? And if so to what extent? Would I have had more of a sense of how to maintain personal boundaries? Would I have been someone who figured out waaay earlier how to push past their discomfort and speak up when things bothered them instead of laughing it off? Would I have even had discomfort? Would I still have been eager to understand others and be understood? For the positives listed, I’d like to think so but truthfully can never and will never know. So these are really just useless ramblings😂. The only thing we have any control over is who we choose to be now and going forward.

Reminders to self/takeaways:

It’s never too late to picture your ideal self in whatever perfect universe you think they exist in now and decide to make that reality yours. What are they doing differently from you? What risks are they taking? Be bold and courageous, find what makes you happy, purge all your anxious thoughts and ramblings in posts like this one with no real point, free your mind, be present in the reality you’re living in, and then do just that. Live. Stop overthinking everything! You can't change a single hair on your head by worrying so maybe just stop. Literally. Clearing your mind of the things you can't control is truly the most peaceful thing. Focus on the good. Do all the things you're scared of being bad at. At the very least it will give you something to write about. Do it for the plot!

[alastorseye]

About Remadora

When I say I really hate the HP fandom, I'm talking about the "fans" that hate everything about the saga, but still having Harry Potter accounts. They change the original story, claim that fanonical facts are canon, and launch hatred and death threats at those who simply like HARRY POTTER JUST THE WAY IT IS. Yes, I'm mostly talking about Marauders fans, which I joined after reading the books because I thought it would be interesting and funny. I suddenly realized how toxic and hateful that fandom was, it's like a cult dedicated to deifying Remus, Sirius, James and Regulus, and it seems that hating Snape, Dumbledore, and Remadora is a requirement to be a part of it.

At the beginning I used to consider Wolfstar as something funny, a bromance, it never bothered me, I mean... every fandom has fanon ships and I respect that, but the way they always hate Remadora and their shippers is something that MUST stop.

"You see!" said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

"It's different," said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -"

"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front ofLupin's robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times. . . ." And the meaning of Tonks's Patronus and her mouse-colored hair, and the reason she had come running to find Dumbledore when she had heard a rumor someone had been attacked by Greyback, all suddenly became clear to Harry; it had not been Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all."

"And I've told you a million times," said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes,staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor . . . too dangerous. . ."

When I read this part of the HBP I realized that Remadora was my favorite Harry Potter ship. Of course I wasn't aware of the death threats I'd receive later. I've read some "reasons" why some fans hate Remadora.

"Tonks forced him!"

We all know how insecure Remus was. I don't have to explain what's written in Wizarding World (Pottermore). This is the Remus bio:

Well, we can read that Remus was really attracted to Dora.

"Remus, so often melancholy and lonely, was first amused, then impressed, then seriously smitten by the young witch. He had never fallen in love before. If it had happened in peacetime, Remus would have simply taken himself off to a new place and a new job, so that he did not have to endure the pain of watching Tonks fall in love with a handsome, young wizard in the Auror office, which was what he expected to happen. However, this was war; they were both needed in the Order of the Phoenix, and nobody knew what the next day would bring. Remus felt justified in remaining exactly where he was, keeping his feelings to himself but secretly rejoicing every time somebody paired him with Tonks on some overnight mission".

This is so sad and cute, and that's undeniable. I cried when I read it. If someone still thinking that Dora forced Remus to marry her after reading this paragraph... I mean... they're probably talking about another book series.

"The age gap!"

I'm so satisfied to know that some Remadora shippers have explained this. When it's about a kid and an adult... OF COURSE IS HORRENDOUS! Because children are not physically and mentally prepared to have romantic relationships. Wizards are legally adults at 17, REMUS MET TONKS WHEN SHE WAS 21!

I mean, many old people abuses of young people innocence, or something. But we all know that Remus wasn't one of those! He really loved Tonks, and that's canon. I don't know what's doing in the fandom people who denies canon facts.

Remus and Tonks were two physically, mentally, and legally adults loving each other.

"Remus didn't love her!"

He was an introvert, Tonks was an extrovert, she made his life better. And of course, I loved the way he introduced himself when he was trying to prove he wasn't a Death Eater:

"I am Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder's Map, married to Nymphadora, usually known as Tonks, and I taught you how to produce a Patronus, Harry, which takes the form of a stag." (Remus Lupin, DH)

Maybe I'm not the only one who perceive he was proud to be Nymphadora Tonks husband.

"I.. I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment and have regretted it very much every since". (Remus Lupin, DH)

This phrase makes more sense after reading Remus bio. He used to think that he was "too poor, too dangerous" for her. He thought he wasn't enough for her. He never imagined that she would love him back. He was a werewolf, and of course he knew he was dangerous, you only need to be emphatic to realize he tried to get away from Tonks because he loved her, he didn't want to hurt his beloved woman!

If you don't believe me, read this again. It's in the chapter 11 of Deathly Hallows:

"Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I've made her an outcast!"

So, if Remus was trying to escape it's because he loved them, he thought he spoiled their lives. And of course, no one likes to feel that their influence is bad for someone they love!

"Their relationship came from nowhere! They don't have a development"

Well, the saga's name is HARRY POTTER, not The Love Life of Remus Lupin. The story is about the tragic life of this kid and everything he went through to save the world of a cruel and dark villain. I know many readers are young people in love, and they only want to ship everything, but that's not the main topic here, maybe mother's love would be the topic. Of course Ron and Hermione had a development because they were HARRY'S BEST FRIENDS, and they were always with him, from Philosopher's Stone to Cursed Child. Remus and Tonks are minor characters, and it's funny the fact that this usually comes from Wolfstar shippers, so... is Wolfstar more developed than Remadora?! I mean... they can ship whatever they want, Snape and the Sorting Hat, Dobby and Voldemort, anything, but that does not give them the right to disrespect such a cute, tragic and beautiful canon ship as Remadora.

"They are queercoded! Their relationship is homophobic!"

It's surprising to hear this. It's like... people gets angry just because the author doesn't make queer their favourite characters? I will explain why I don't think Remus and Tonks are "queercoded":

Whether through their dress, their behavior, their language, or other subtle forms of implication, queer characters were written or designed to communicate their unstated queerness to those who were searching for representation.

And this is the definition on the website Pride.com:

"Using LGBTQIA tropes and stereotypes to allude to a character's sexuality without explicitly confirming it in the text."

We all know that Disney used queercoding on characters like Ursula, Scar, Jaffar. And why do we know that? Because DISNEY WANTED TO PORTRAY THEM LIKE THAT, get it? Disney, THE CREATORS MADE THESE CHARACTERS INTENTIONALLY QUEER. How? BASED ON STEREOTYPES.

And going back to Remadora, I was really happy to see by first time a bada*ass woman, with short hair who wasn't portrayed as a lesbian just because the way she looks. This character didn't follow the: "Straight women have long hair and are girly", and "short dyied hair is for lesbians". I'm very very very surprised the fandom follows these stereotypes.

About Remus: I don't know how the phrase "being a werewolf is a metaphor about people with HIV AIDS" means "he's gay". Fenrir Greyback bit him when he was a kid. Many people interpret this as "r4pe". Okay, even thinking that it is the meaning of the "bite", I still cannot understand how being "r4ped" and "infected" makes him queer. Is this (again) a stereotype about people with AIDS and gay?

"JK Rowling created Remadora because she didn't like people shipping Wolfstar!"

It is true that fans love shipping everything, they queerbait and queercode everything. That's great, that's not the problem. The problem is when people starts bashing fans who ship canon straight couples. A very good example is the polemic on Falcon and Bucky relationship, some fans wanted them to be a gay couple, Anthony Mackie said that two men can only be friends, and there is no need to always give them a romantic connotation. People cancelled him, they called him homophobic. Yes, just because a person with authority (on the story they're following") didn't like the fact of queercoding their favourite characters. It's the same about Remadora.

Grindeldore is a very interesting and underrated couple by the way. You can love or hate JK Rowling, but the truth is that Harry Potter story is hers, and even if Remadora was "because she didn't like Wolfstar", she is the author, it was her mind where these characters first appeared, as a big Harry Potter fan I respect and like the original story, that's not a sin. An author has the right to make some changes if some characters were misunderstood by the readers.

(Yes, I wrote this a bit angrily since I've seen too much hate towards Remadora shippers)

[thejustmaiden]

Why do you think Sunrise did that event in with Sesshomaru and Rin's VAs mirroring InuKag? They have already done that CD Drama, do you think they did that to give hope to the shippers? What if after so many hints, if they reveal in the anime that Sessrin isn't canon, aren't the shippers gonna be disapointed? This may be a dumb question and your answers are always smart and well-articulated, but i seriously don't understand their marketing strategy, do you care to explain for me?

Oh, hey there! I appreciate all the love you've been leaving on my blogs lately. I really hope I'm able to give you an answer you're satisfied with. Sorry it took some time to get back to you. I hope this makes up for it. 🙏

I'm not gonna lie, I'm up and down about how I feel about that livestream and what it means for the future of this ship. My brain has been on roller coaster mode since basically the moment the sequel was announced. We're in the home stretch now, and we better get the answers WE WANT the second that sequel comes out. Since it's evidently not going to happen anytime sooner- welp!

Before the livestream aired, I really thought us fans were on the verge of discovering the mom and that it was going to be Rin. We still had hope she wasn't, but at the same time most of us antis were "bracing for impact." lol

Then nothing happened.

We were pretty shocked but obviously relieved. The days before it came out, I was telling others (as well as myself lol) that just because Sesshomaru and Rin's VAs had a livestream together doesn't confirm anything. Besides, why does that have to automatically mean that both pairings need to be romantic? We all know how integral these characters are/were to each other's storylines, so these pairings make the most logical sense, wouldn't you say?

In the previous livestream with the voice actors who play Inuyasha and Kagome, they discuss the new character Moroha and introduce her as Inuyasha AND Kagome's daughter. Now let's compare that to the other livestream with Sesshomaru and Rin's VAs. When they described Towa and Setsuna, they did so as Sesshomaru's daughters NOT Sesshomaru and Rin's daughters. That to me is the most telling piece of evidence.

Like how could they not use that prime opportunity to tell us Rin's the mom when her voice actor was literally sitting right there??! We were all expecting it and they still insisted on giving us nothing! What this tells me is that it's possible this mom is a new character, and it even appears she is quite pivotal to the new series. I keep changing my opinion on that part though to be honest with you, because sometimes I think she won't be important at all in the grand scheme of things. (See what I mean about being up and down? lol) Idk about you, but it seems to me like we haven't even met her character. If it was Rin, why keep it a mystery? It's not like Sessrin's popularity is exactly a secret in this fandom. Why wait until the big reveal if it's "so obvious" in the first place? How does Sunrise benefit from hiding this information?

If it does end up being Rin, it would've been better to just come out and say it. If this ain't just pure fanbait like some of us still hope it is, why hold back? Give 'em what they want already and let us antis be at peace. If they hope to think that I'll change my mind and give this sequel a go just because I've waited this long so might as well, they're sorely mistaken. If anything, I'm going to be pissed they kept us in the dark this long when they could've just saved us all the trouble. I imagine that goes for a lot of us, shippers and antis alike. Whatever way you look at it, I won't be invested in this sequel if Sessrin goes canon- period. I cannot and will not be on board with a series that promotes such a harmful and insulting dynamic.

Which brings us to Sunrise's marketing strategy. Well, I definitely think they have been catering to the fans of this ship for quite some time now. Because, ya know, money. Whether that's because they plan to make this ship canon or not remains to be seen. "Show meee the moneeeeyyyy!" *yells in Jerry Maguire*

There was first the drama cd and more recently that calendar which included art of adult!Rin with Sesshomaru, but neither of those are canon first off. Also, does anyone know if it was actually confirmed to be pro-Sessrin fan art? I mean, I know it doesn't look very good when the artist who made it is a Sessrin shipper and certain fans are fawning over their OTP, but that doesn't necessarily mean the calender automatically is either last I checked. I wonder why it can't simply be Rin as an adult visiting with Sesshomaru. I believe in one picture she's seen giving him a flower, much like little Rin would've done, or just as any child does for a loved one. So if Rin is still bringing him flowers as an adult, I would assume that means their relationship dynamic hasn't changed at all. That's what's supposed to happen, too! If an adult's relationship was established with another person while they were just a child, then that adult will always view them as a child no matter what and vice versa. Even when those children become grown-ups, that won't change. That's just how things are, or how they're supposed to be rather. In other words, a normal healthy adult-child bond does not resemble one like Sessrin.

Both Sessrin fans and antis agree there haven't been any romantic implications between Sesshomaru and Rin in the original series. That's why I can't understand for the life of me why we're even having this discussion. Alas, here we are. This is what happens when society has conditioned us to believe that the only proper (aka "best") way an adult male and a young female's closeness can evolve is with romance. So maybe it's not obvious at first (because that would be illegal), but we should EXPECT their relationship to shift in that direction. Why, you ask? Well, simply because sexualizing young girls is the norm so why not, right? No clues or foreshadowing required! Because like I just said, that would be illegal. Fiction has loopholes for this kinda stuff, so problem solved?

Nope! Aging her up counts too, folks! When you look at a girl character and the first thing you think is, "I can't wait till she grows up so she can f*ck" then, yeah, you're a part of the problem. You may not realize it, but you are. That's not to say you're a bad person or that it's even your fault, just saying that there are times in all of our lives where we start to question some of our beliefs. If you not only support but desire the idea of a romance eventually forming between a grown man- yes, 19 is an adult- and a young girl, then you should probably ask yourself why that may be and re-evaluate. Please stop using cultural differences and history that dates back almost a thousand years to justify this so-called tradition.

"You all shouldn't think too deeply about this, it's just fiction! Ugh, you're ruining the fun! Antis should all just shut up! Only we can have problems, but when you do it's just complaining!"

Right....

And by the way, most of us are not even complaining. We're being critical of the content we're watching. Criticism isn't always pretty unfortunately.

If Sunrise and Rumiko do decide to go through with this, then I will disappointed, sure, but not surprised. Romanticizing these sexualized images of young or pre-pubescent girls has been happening for far too long, after all. We've become desensitized to it sadly enough, especially when the media continues to glorify it. I wish we'd realize how many young girls- or minors in general- we're putting in danger by sending messages such as this.

To you young teenage girls and even boys reading this, you may not fully understand right now, but it's never okay for anyone to tell you that your body being sexualized is a natural and beautiful thing. It's going through through a lot changes at your age, yes, but they should never use your curiosity to satisfy their sexual needs. Don't allow some of these stories to be an example of what is acceptable to occur in your own life if you were ever to encounter a similar situation, especially if fiction is all that you have to compare it to. It is not in any way, shape, or form okay for an adult to say or do sexual/romantic things to you. Even a conversation that may seem harmless at first could have dire consequences. No, not even if you trust them and they're one of your favorite people in this world are these things ever appropriate. What they're asking from you or showing you is dangerous, and even if it doesn't seem like it they are very likely taking advantage of you. If you're ever unsure about something, don't hesitate to come to me. Or maybe you have a loved one that you can go to, that works too. 😊

Idk if I even gave you a definite answer, but perhaps it's because I'm still figuring it out myself. If I ever do, ha! I hope by allowing you to get inside my head for a little bit you got a better idea. Or maybe not, and I just made it more confusing for you. Oops! lol Feel free to hit me up again, dear, and have a nice day/night!! 👋

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/8/2020: PELICAN BLOOD (2019)

If you are reading this and the present date is between October 8 and 11 of 2020, please consider buying a virtual ticket to see Katrin Gebbe’s PELICAN BLOOD, available on demand through the Nightstream festival:

https://watch.eventive.org/nightstream/play/5f6e7e78d6a9bf0036613fa3

I am about to discuss this movie and its conclusion in great detail, but it would be much better for a person to come to it in innocence--not because it’s so reliant on anything as gauche as surprise, but because it is so thoroughly excellent that wading through a movie review first would be like letting your dinner grow cold. And, it simply deserves our support.

When I saw PELICAN BLOOD last year at Fantastic Fest, it became one of my favorite movies before it was even over. I might admit that this was sort of a match made in heaven, as this movie checks almost every one of my personal boxes, but I don’t think my assessment of its value is a simple matter of personal prejudice. I’ve been haunted by it all these months, and deeply worried that somehow I might never see it again. When I discovered that it had landed on Nightstream, I was over the moon.

This is writer-director Katrin Gebbe's second feature, a fact that will astonish you when you see it. Last Blogtober, I wrote about her first feature TORE TANZT, which has the troubling english title NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN. That intense indie drama concerns a born-again christian punk who wishes for an opportunity to prove his devotion to god, and finds it in the form of a family that invites him in off the streets, and then proceeds to torture him. That's an oversimplification of what actually occurs, but it is a film that's hard to be brief about. It's cheap and a little rough around the edges, but it is deliberate, intense, and difficult to forget. (In fact it's supposed to be based on a true story, although I haven't managed to pick up that trail) When I first saw it, it certainly made me wonder what else that director might be up to, and I was astounded when I found out. 2019's PELICAN BLOOD emerged six years after TORE TANZT, with little in between besides a television episode and a segment in the anthology THE FIELD GUIDE TO EVIL, and yet Gebbe's artistic evolution is dumbfounding. Her themes are all unmistakably present--faith versus doubt, mystical versus metaphorical experience, and physical martyrdom--but exploded into a grand, elegant psychodrama that holds the viewer captive every minute of its two hours.

Celebrated german actress Nina Hoss plays Wiebke, a stable owner who trains police horses to tolerate the frightening conditions of a riot. She lives at the edge of her pasture, raising her tween daughter Nicolina (Adelia-Constance Giovanni Ocleppo) on her own. Wiebke has a talent for healing the wounded, or perhaps it's more of a calling; she raised Nicolina, a bulgarian orphan, into a bright, balanced, emotionally available tomboy, and the two of them joyfully anticipate the arrival of Nicolina's new adoptive sister. When little Raya arrives (Katerina Lipovska), she first presents as sweet, even solicitous, needing only a mother's love to fully bloom. However, as soon as she determines that she is welcome and wanted, she undergoes a disturbing transformation into a violent and unpredictable creature, possessed by an abject hatred. Wiebke recognizes that her new child is seriously traumatized, which activates her sense of purpose, and she pledges herself fully to the child's recovery--despite the admonishments of Raya's daycare, her doctors, and virtually everyone around them, that the little girl is beyond all but clinical help, and even that promises no guarantee of salvation. Refusing to give up, Wiebke makes a series of increasingly dangerous personal sacrifices in Raya's name, until finally she finds herself at the doorway to what some consider another world, but what is to others only madness.

Gebbe won Best Director in the main competition at Fantastic Fest, and it would have been a crime if this were otherwise. Her control over what are essentially forces of nature is humbling. Extracting a profoundly moving drama from a cast of adult actors is challenging enough on its own, but to get these terrifyingly convincing performances from children, evoking deep trauma and physical violence to self and others, is another level. As if this weren't enough, Gebbe adds animals into the mix, giving the story of Raya a parallel in the troubled career of a police horse who is considered a lost cause by all but Wiebke. The training scenes in which Wiebke guides the volatile animal through fire and smoke, while her own lifeforce is being progressively depleted by her new child, are as harrowing as anything having to do with parenthood, and Wiebke seems to take the horse just as seriously as her child. Friendly single dad Benedikt (Murathan Muslu) tries to flirt with the trainer by remarking on her unusual career, but she spits bitterly, "The horses are not the problem," giving us a glimpse of the philosophy that drives her.

Another of my favorite german films is Werner Herzog's 1976 short NO ONE WILL PLAY WITH ME. This funny and poignant story involves a bullied and neglected little boy, and it is preceded by a card displaying the adage "There are no bad children, only bad parents." This is the principle that drives Wiebke in work and life: Those who are seen as failures, have been failed by others. One has the sense that Wiebke sees herself in these wretches. She has no partner, and balks at questions about her relationship history, shying from physical affection even with people she knows and likes. A tell-tale scar graces one cheekbone; when she finally begins to welcome the benign Benedikt's advances, he strokes it instead of kissing her, acknowledging that he can see who she really is.

Wiebke tries to extend this same empathy toward Raya, refusing to let the child bait her into wrath and rejection. However, this show of pure faith and tolerance does not work, and the right approach becomes less clear as Raya begins to blame her mounting acts of vandalism, arson and assault on an evil entity that controls her will. A psychiatrist aprises Wiebke that this is the "magic period", in which the child uses magical thinking to divert feelings of guilt and responsibility. But, after a fashion, Wiebke begins to sense this malevolent presence as well. Is this etheric intrusion real? Or is she beginning to empathize with the child--with the experience of grappling with a damaged part of yourself--to the point of dissolving boundaries?

The title of the movie refers to a fable about a pelican whose chicks die, and she resurrects them by feeding them her own blood. This is a clear metaphor for Wiebke's trial with Raya, that becomes shockingly literal when, after endangering her home and relationships by prioritizing the new child, Wiebke places her own health on the line by taking an unregulated drug to give herself a bizarre advantage. When Wiebke discovers the shocking nature of Raya's original trauma, she experiments with the radical idea of treating the girl like a little baby, hoping to start from square one with her capacity to be mothered, and in the service of this dreadful proposition, Wiebke starts taking a lactation-inducing pill that proves to be an immediate risk to her health, and puts her in an even more perilous position with Raya.

Although it focuses on a preternaturally devoted mother, PELICAN BLOOD recalls what makes movies like HEREDITARY and WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN so potent. We have the idea that in becoming parents, we are perpetuating our own essence, extending our history and celebrating the precious connection of blood, which is supposed to impart an automatic same-ness. Unfortunately, this only shakes out to arrogance for many, denying the quirks of psychology, chemistry, and the unique impact of trauma--even if minor, or explainable as something benign--on a mind too young to fully comprehend the nature of the experience. Even without abuse in the home, anyone can have a child less like themselves than they could have ever imagined, for reasons beyond their own control. In all this, the child is innocent, and it is the duty of the parent to prioritize the child's feelings, over the vanity of wanting an heir to your own best qualities. Wiebke sacrifices not only her vanity, but potentially her very life, to show Raya love. When this blood sacrifice does not work, Wiebke finds herself facing the realm of alternative belief as a last resort.

The introduction of PELICAN BLOOD's folk horror element can seem a little left field, if you haven't noted the clues scattered throughout the film. Before the revelation of Raya's boogeyman, Wiebke begins to discover evidence of an old pagan tradition still being practiced around her proverbial neck of the woods. Soon, she tentatively entrusts herself and her child to a local witch, who puts them through a harrowing exorcism. Though the process is uncertain at first, its impact forces Wiebke into a direct acknowledgment of the entity harassing her daughter. And ultimately, it awakens in Raya a capacity for love.

While the reality of the supernatural in PELICAN BLOOD remains in question, I think the effect of this ambiguity is specifically meaningful. I usually scoff at any type of "was it all a dream?" nonsense, as this is a tactic employed by directors who think their greatest accomplishment should be getting one over on the audience. I don't see any inherent value in simply reversing the apparent meaning of things, just to make people feel stupid--and worse, this has trained modern audiences to try to defensively predict the least likely ending to any story, instead of just engaging with it emotionally as it plays out. For this reality-bending trick to be worth anything, one must be able to answer questions like, IF this was all a dream, THEN what meaning is added to the story?

In PELICAN BLOOD, the unresolved question of whether magic is real is of great relevance to the whole concept of belief. Human beings crave extranormal experience; we're deeply attracted to tales of ghosts, UFOs, mythical creatures, and parapsychological abilities. Even the skeptics among us enjoy arguing about these things, and many regular folks without eccentric interests read their horoscope "just for fun". Most telling of all is the enduring popularity of stories about the strange and unusual, which require no particular belief system from the audience; the fantasy of this extra dimension to our mundane lives is just so satisfying. Despite all the pleasure we get from these ideas, though, we tend to cling first and foremost to objective truth; we tell ourselves that if there is no "proof", then an outrageous thing cannot exist. But, this is actually contrary to many of our lived experiences. On the basest level, we delight at videos of insane parkour stunts, at the same time that we say these guys are "like" superheroes, but are actually just guys. My question is, what's the difference? If a person can achieve physical feats that most of us can never imagine attempting, then what difference does it make that this person was not bitten by a radioactive spider? If a fortune teller in a carnival is so good at "cold reading" strangers that she gives the effect of being able to read minds, then what is the appreciable difference between a carny and a "real psychic"? If a faith healer "just convinces" someone to become free from a chronic ailment, and the patient goes on to live a happier life, who cares if no "real magic" was in evidence? What is the difference between exorcism and hypnosis, if the end result is the same for a seriously disturbed child and her mother? The only difference appears to be some material confirmation of specific mystical forces and substances--which, admittedly, would be exciting on its own--but this would still only be an alternative version of the events that led up to the same "miraculous" result. We only worry about the existence of God and magic because our definitions of these things tend to be limited to what we think of as literal and scientific. But, if the correct effects manifest themselves, then all that is purely cosmetic. Belief is real. Faith works.

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

(have an odd bunch) Muffet, Grillby, Burgerpants, and Nicecream Guy one day found a human baby in a hollowed out tree with nothing but a note reading "If you are reading this, I have no doubt you're most likely a monster, but either way, I pray that you're kind enough to listen to me. I don't have much time, so please, all I ask is that you take care of my child and let them live. The royal guard is after me, and it's not safe to keep them with me. P.s. please let them know that I'm sorry."

{ Oh, well-!I assume you mean the Tale! Versions of the characters, since you have not specified anything.I had the need to add also Gaster because I truly love writing of Wingding so he is the bonus this time, maybe I will add him very often~ }

❧ Tale! Muffet ;

She was already a mom since she got so many spider children she adored so much. They were her joy and pride and every one of them loved so much their spider mother as well. While she was taking a walk, she noticed a strange sound coming from the woods, so Muffet, moving her pretty eight arms, decided to take a look, finding a creature in a hollowed out tree. It was a kid, a man cub. She could not find the reason why a baby like this was here. It was strange seeing a human in the Underground because they usually were founded by Toriel or the skeleton brothers and not by normal citizens. This was so weird.The spider lady did not know what to do with this child because she was not sure if she could keep them. Maybe she would have given them to Asgore because human’s souls were so precious but she wouldn’t have delivered them for free, he had to pay a high price to have them because it was so expensive and she was still a businesswoman. After a while of thinking, Muffet took the baby with her, she was still unsure because she could have used them to feed her baby spiders too, human’s meat was so delicious and full of vitamins. Her kids would have been so happy to eat it. So many possibilities and she was still hesitant.Muffet had noticed the notes after she came back home, because it was so dark. Then, she read it and her five eyes got wet because it was the last message of the mother of this child. Muffet, like a mother herself, could perfectly understand those feelings and she felt so bad and guilty for the thoughts she had before. Muffet could have never imagined her life without her precious babies and this little human was alone in this awful world. It was horrible. At the end, the lady spider decided to keep the baby, her strong maternal instinct won over everything and she had a heart, she was not cruel and selfish. She noticed her little spiders adored the human and the little arachnids became like siblings for them, Muffet was so happy and she decided to protect the little human with her life because now they were part of her family and no one could have changed this reality.

❧ Tale! Grillby ;

Rarely, he walked away from his bar in Snowdin because he was a fireman and he could be dangerous without he could realize, setting fires by mistake. This day was different from other days because he had to do some committees for his job, even if he hated crossing the woods because all those trees made him uncomfortable, he was afraid to put everything on fire destroying the forest. Grillby walked with circumspection and carefully, he was really concentrated until he heard a crying. Someone was crying in this forest and it seemed a baby’s lament so he thought a kid was in danger so he had to help them. After he searched for the voice, he found a little human inside a tree. This child was trembling because of the cold and it seemed they were alone and abandoned. Getting closer to them, he noticed there was a notes near the baby, Grillby has not had the time to read the words written there that the paper burnt under his touch so he lost most of the message. He understood  that a mother left here her child to save them from some hunters but he could not see who this person was and how she reached this place since adult humans rarely came here. In any case, the fireman decided to take the baby because it was too cold here and they needed something to eat, their state was miserable. He did not know how to take care of a little human but Grillby was not heartless so he gave mercy to the child who was unable to protect themselves alone. After a while, the fireman got affectionate to the little kid and he chose to keep them because this baby has been too much unlucky in their life and they deserved a little peace of mind. Even if he was a fire monster, he did not hurt them because he could control his flames well and the kid was so happy with him. They always laughed seeing his red blazes, they played with his glasses, and Grillby has never thought a little child like it could bring to him so much joy. The thought to give them to Asgore has never crossed his mind. This little baby was like his son now.

❧ Tale! Burgerpants ;

It was a warm night and Burgerpants was coming back home after a long and exhausting day of  job. He truly hated that job because he felt like a poor slave and this was not his ambition. He should have been on the stage singing songs, not Mettaton. He was just a robot, an artificial creature. Even his voice was fake and artificial and it did not matter how much the current technologic was evolved. Burgerpants was surely more talented than MTT even if he gave up his dream so long ago and now he was lost in the oblivion. Hotland was a place too much hot for his tastes and he was sweating like a runner who just crossed the desert after a marathon. The poor cat was going to faint when, suddenly, a voice brought him to reality and it seemed someone was crying and he did not care to know what it was since it was not his business. That crying became louder than before and his ears were exploding so Burgerpants decided to see what was happening. Then, his sight was captured by a weird tree and he did not know there were trees here but it was an isolated tree with a ruined bark and that sound came from there.  In the moment he looked inside the tree’s hole, he noticed a little baby covered by blankets. They were so small but the thing that surprised him was the fact that they were a human and it was too strange. How could a baby human be in a place like this? Then, his questions received the proper answers since he read the text left by the mother and the monster cat was shocked. This baby was an orphan, he felt so sad for them but he did not know what to do and he did not have any experiences with children. It was a miracle if he was able to take care of himself. How could he handle a little kid? And it was a human so it was a problem since humans were seen with suspicions in the Underground. He decided to take it anyway because he could not leave this creature alone in the middle of nowhere.The baby was very friendly with Burgerpants and he felt his heart full of joy like he has found a new reason to live, and he was back to life again. He was so touched when the baby held his paw with their little fingers and Burgerpants cuddled him crying because it was like a miracle. They were his little buddy and he did not want to leave them anymore. It was a gift from up above and now this poor man had discovered a new sense of life.

❧ Tale! Nice Cream Guy ;

The days proceeded as usual for the ice-cream man of the Underground, he was gentle and friendly and his ice creams were so nice. Nothing could go wrong today even if some people could ask what was the sense of selling ice creams in a city like Snowdin, since here the snow was everywhere and the cold was enough, it seemed. The Nice Cream Guy did not care about these little things because he was ready to welcome his clients with the most beautiful smile and they would have bought his ice creams only for seeing his cute face. His name was a guaranty and maybe the real purpose of his customers was admiring the fascinating rabbit of the ice creams. Today was calm and ordinary but he was not bored because he was sure something new would happen. He had this strange feeling, like it was a sixth sense. After a while, these feelings revealed itself to be true but it was something the Nice Cream Guy could have never expected. A sound so similar to a crying echoed in the woods of Snowdin and it was becoming more intense, so he decided to investigate leaving for some minutes his ice creams stand. His portentous rabbit ears followed the sound until he reached the place where it came from. There was a child in a tree and this was a human kid. The Nice Cream Guy was confused because it was rare finding a baby in a tree. It has never happened so he did not know what to do. Maybe he should have contacted the royal guards because humans here were most wanted. Then, he noticed the notes the baby was carrying with them, it contained a message from their mother who asked for help. She wanted that their baby survived and anyone who had found them took care of them because they were so little and vulnerable. The rabbit man brought the baby with him because a creature like this could not stay in the middle of a cold forest and he was still a nice guy so he had to help them!The baby found his fur so soft and comfortable and they slept there like The Nice Guy was a duvet and he feel in love with this baby instantly because they were so sweet. He decided that they would have become his heir because he wanted to teach the profession of the ice-cream man to them, and it was so wonderful. He was already proud of his child.

BONUS:

☛ Tale! Gaster ;

Wingding had no time to dedicate to himself or others, since he was so busy with his job at the Lab to pay attention to life in general. One day or another it could happen that even the loneliest persons like him were forced to leave their house, exploring the wild world. Not that he was afraid of something but it was a nuisance. He had to go to Asgore because the King wanted to know how his experiments about human’s souls were proceeding and Gaster was a little pissed because this pressure made him nervous and those experiments were going nowhere because this was a hard research but the king wanted everything now but he needed to be a little more patient. The most important scientific discovers often came by mistakes, so you could never predict anything. Just think about to the Newton’s apple, so Gaster was waiting for the right moment until that apple would have fallen from the sky. No apple has fallen from the sky actually, since it was an artificial sky. It was absurd anyway because apples did not rain from the sky so he got confused.The visit to the king was a little boring because Gaster did not have nothing to say to him since he was still experimenting and he still did not possess any sample of a determinate soul so he could not do anything until he found it. The scientist was directed home when suddenly a mysterious sound brought him to reality, it was a loud voice of someone who was crying. He could not understand but he was curious, so he decided to check until he reached the forest where he found a hollowed out tree but the most disorienting thing was the thing inside it: a human. It was a baby human and Gaster thought he was dreaming. He found something better than an apple, this was the illumination he needed. He acted calm and circumspect anyway because it could be dangerous and nobody had to see him bringing a baby at home. In a second time, after he came back at his Lab, he read the letter and this was so sad because now he understood this baby was an orphan and the royal guards wanted to catch him like a prize. His real duty was to give them to Asgore because it was an another soul useful to break the barrier. On the other hand, he did not want to give this baby to him because he would have killed them and maybe this creature should have helped him with his studies. Then, he found out what kind of soul this little child got and Gaster felt luckier than Newton because they had a determinate soul even if it was not so bright because they were still a baby but it was all he needed. Wingding decided to take care of the baby and he was full of hope because this baby would have permitted him to resolve the mysteries of souls.The time passed, and Gaster became more attached to the baby since he considered them like his child and he had taught to them all his awareness as if they were his assistant. It’s been a while from the last time he felt so relaxed and not alone anymore.