#im trans but ftm or mtf won't make a difference. the thing i got assigned at birth is Me and what i want to be is Not Me
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i think i would always be weird and trans and dissatisfied no matter what kind of body i was in
#idk i thought for a while that the only thing that would make me feel better#is if i was just born as a cis man from the start. then i would be happy and have zero problems#but tbh no that isn't true either#if i was amab from the start i wouldnt be happy with that either. i would feel some peculiar pain in my chest when i thought about lesbians#and i wouldn't want to transition halfway or be happy just wearing the clothes.#i'd want estrogen. i'd want surgery and long hair and a different face#it doesnt matter what kind of body im stuck in. i think im always going to long for some unattainable Other#tbh if i was naturally skinny i would probably hate that and be insecure about that also.#anyways. this is why i avoid thinking about it. theres no solution#unless they invent shapshifting at will sometime within my lifetime#im trans but ftm or mtf won't make a difference. the thing i got assigned at birth is Me and what i want to be is Not Me
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