#im sure bucky can't keep his hands to himself

[treatbuckywkisses]

HI I STAYED UP WAY TOO LATE TO READ THIS PART !!!! :))

(also this might be my longest rb so far)

SIX UPON A TIME

"You weren’t sure what you wanted him to do, but it was fun to watch the time bomb tick." - let's kiss him on the mouth 🫶🏻

"A reason to get up in the morning." - SHUT. YOUR. MOUTH.

"But then you blink back into reality again when Bucky sits you down on the closed lid of your toilet and slowly makes you let go of his shirt, kneeling down in front of you. The blue of his eyes is devastating, even though you have to keep blinking to keep him in focus." - No I can't do this 

"Maybe that’s the most terrifying thought of them all. You would die for him. Once, twice, however many times are necessary if that meant that he’s safe. " - Nika I'm fucking crying. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm actually fucking crying before 10pm.

"But it seems like you haven’t known it at all, because right now, you feel the knowledge of it, of him, surge through you with all its facets. You can’t even begin to put it into words, because where would you start? How do you explain what he makes you feel when he hasn’t been there himself, not in any way that matters or sticks? And if it’s never happened at all, if time keeps unraveling like this, how can it even be real? " - the woman that you are. Oh. My. God. You are completely unreal this is phenomenal.

"His breath hitches when they dip lower, almost reaching the place you’ve watched dimple when he laughs, but he doesn’t move away. He doesn’t laugh, either." - I have actual tears in my eyes you are so evil 

"That day, he dies with your stupid nickname on his lips, twisted into something that looks strangely close to that earlier smile. This one doesn’t have time to reach his eyes, though." - Nika I'm fucking sick to my stomach what the fuck is wrong with you 

Brief intermission bc I got too into it and read the rest twice before coming back to make notes (I was too immersed)

A crack in the sky you are insane I would FREAK

Where TF does bucky go during the day. As a naturally nosy gal the unknowns in this story make me ITCH I can't wait for everything to be revealed

"Why won’t you look at me? " - this is so hurtful why are you being so mean to me

HOW IS THE DELIVERY MAN EARLY IM LITERALLY IN SHOCK AND WE MOVED ON FROM THIS TOO FAST????????

"You take a sip of your tea and some feeling returns to your translucent fingers. Strange’s cloak draws itself around your shoulders." - hehe we have the cloak 🫶🏻 

""I came to you," you realize. "Or, I will, once I get out of this." The relief that washes over you makes you want to sob. "So there is a way out?"" - why did this make ME relieved like I'm stuck in the loop too 😭 I literally have felt anxious for our dear reader like I'm sick and this has soothed my heart the smallest bit (I'm still scared of you)

"You can’t help but wonder when he’s last tried the bed." - Frick you for putting him in the floor what has my baby done to you let him be comfortable 😭😭 

"No," Strange answers. "This is just when he wakes up." - this made me LAUGH I needed that 

CAPS BDAY IM CRACKING UP THATS SUCH A FUN SILLY MOMENT

"He might has well have doused you in a bucket of ice water. You’re suddenly very aware of every single cell in your body, and you don’t like the challenge sparkling in his eyes." - THEY ARE SO IN LOVE MY GOD IM SICK 

Why are we waking up to silence I'm gonna throw up Nika 

What did the powers do 

Alpine can see us that is both cute and scary 😅 

"You lose a few hours here and there, time seemingly speeding up at random sometimes now. One morning, Bucky isn’t in the gym like he usually is, and you work yourself up over it so much you nearly have a panic attack. In the end, you almost crash into him outside of his room, and a rush of reassurance floods through you with such force you can’t even look at him." - what is wrong with you 

"That time, Sam is there when Bucky gets shot, and it’s his cry that follows you into the next day. Your hands are clean this time, and somehow that feels worse." - how dare you write these 2 paragraphs and also put them so close together????????

"And then it’s you who’s speechless, because the shock on Peter Parker’s face is more than you bargained for." - FULL. BODY. CHILLS. WHAT A MIND YOU HAVE NIKA. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS.

"Sweat pearled on your forehead as you and the universe held your breath again. You could feel your hold slipping with every second that wasn’t allowed to pass. Time was impatient with you." - THE LAST LINE ?????? I'm speechless 

"And with time stumbling and flailing around in confusion, you made it out of the building and into the waiting cab." - ok chapter 7 pls 🫶🏻 

I'm kidding you are PERFECT I can't believe I missed out on this for as long as I did?!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your incredible brain with me I want to kiss you on the mouth I love you!!!!!!!

time after time [6]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 12.8k

chapter warnings: maybe reacquaint yourselves with the story premise, it's been a hot minute; characters refusing to be honest with themselves and each other; violence against side characters, minor injury descriptions; strange is still annoying

a/n: this is quite possibly the scariest fic update i've ever made. a lot has happened since the last chapter was posted, and i won't bore you with all of it. suffice it to say, i missed sharing this story. thank you for being patient with me.

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

six: butterfly effect

Working with Sam and Bucky was different than working with Natasha and Steve had been.

At the Compound, it had felt terrifyingly easy to find your place, to slip into the new role they granted you as if you were always meant to fill it. You’d felt that way before, and it hadn’t turned out quite so well. Maybe that was why you used to dread the end.

Now, however, for the first time in a while, you constantly had to prove yourself in order to not be left back in that dark place they’d found you in, alone and trying to make sense of any of it. And you liked that. The challenge was something you could live with, something you could enjoy more than the ever chilling anxiousness that things were simply too good to be true.

So when Sam called you on for a follow-up mission shortly after the first one, you jumped at the chance.

It didn’t matter that you barely talked about anything but work, even when you were hanging out in your spare time; in fact, you much preferred that to digging up the past. You even learned to find a wicked sort of enjoyment in provoking Bucky’s initial dislike of you to the point of where he would barely speak to you at all unless it was to snap at you.

You weren’t sure what you wanted him to do, but it was fun to watch the time bomb tick.

It wasn’t as easy to get under the new cap’s skin.

"You’re making us sound like we’re partners in a law firm," Sam said, a smile clearly audible in his voice even though his eyes didn’t betray it. Bucky didn’t even dignify you with a clench of his jaw.

"What?" you said, crossing your legs. "Every newspaper in the city calls you 'Wilson and Barnes'. Don’t you ever read the articles about yourselves?"

"Unlike some people, I don’t have all the time in the world," Sam said, leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed.

"Pity. The Bulletin called you the 'nation’s new dynamic duo' last week." You looked at Bucky, your eyebrows raised in amusement. "You’ve officially been downgraded to a sidekick, Barnes."

He answered with an empty glare of his own. "And what does that make you?" he said, but not like a question.

"Nothing at all," you still grinned. "Everything is right in the universe."

The reporters had yet to pick up on your addition to the team, which was proof enough that your powers still sufficed to fly under the radar. Combined with the fact that you were actually regularly talking to people again—and people who weren’t your therapist or your customers no less—, things almost felt like they were settling into a new kind of normal. Still somewhat weird, and still a struggle each day, but somewhat hopeful, nevertheless.

You’d almost forgotten what that could feel like.

“Right. You’d prefer people not knowing about your creepy powers.”

"Aww." You tilted your head to the side happily. "You think I’m creepy."

Bucky scoffed into his mug, refusing to look at you like he always did, and then he strolled off again.

In truth, you couldn’t blame him all that much. You’d lived with your powers all your life and still found them unsettling sometimes, particularly when they got away from you and left you trapped in a universe that refused to move.

That was none of his business, though.

Besides, Bucky had taken to moving around so quietly you could never tell he was there until he’d cough and you’d flinch, usually dropping whatever you were holding in your hands. You’d already cracked your phone screen twice.

Not that he’d know, or care if he did. It gave you great satisfaction to erase his amused smirk from existence.

"Give it time," Sam said without moving. "He doesn’t like new people."

"Neither do I," you murmured, and he snorted. "What?"

"Pretend with me all you want, but maybe do a bit of introspection there."

You crossed your arms with a pout. "You sound like my therapist."

"Mhm," Sam hummed, opening one eye to look at you. "You owe me fifty bucks for that."

"Fuck you."

"Oh, would you look at that, the price just went up."

He chuckled as you flipped him off and went to look for the coffee pot.

Of course, your way got blocked. The downsides of not hating having people around.

Bucky was leaning against the counter, considering you. "You go to therapy?"

"You should try it some time," you said distractedly, reaching around him to get your favorite mug. Bucky recoiled like he was afraid you’d burn him. You shook your head in annoyance. "Helps with the stink eye."

"Is that what they told you?"

"They told me I needed to process my grief, but I decided to focus on some more achievable goals." You took a sip of your coffee, sighing in comfort. "We came up with a compromise."

Bucky scoffed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He still hadn’t taken his gloves off around you.

"Sounds like a way to drag it out," he said.

You frowned into your cup. "It’s not a race, Barnes. There’s no finish line for this shit."

Something odd went over his face, but he went back to avoiding your gaze when you tried to make it out. You knew him well enough by then to get the hint, and so you left him alone.

What was it to you if he didn’t want to warm up to you. That had no bearing on the fact that overall, your situation wasn’t all too bad anymore.

It was something, you supposed as you curled up in your spot on the couch with your book later that day, slipping in and out of time to keep your company a little longer because deep down, you knew you were sick of being alone.

It was weird and different, yes, but it was still something anyway. Something to do with your afternoons again.

A reason to get up in the morning.

*****

"What are you talking about?" Bucky asks quietly, carefully, but he makes no attempt to pull back from your embrace. It allows you to take another shuddering breath, inhaling his scent until it makes you dizzy.

The fact that you probably won’t be this close to him again any time soon makes you press into his chest even harder, hard enough to feel his heart flutter against your forehead, the shock of the situation making it pick up speed.

For a split second, you slip into a sort of vacuum, your thoughts quieting as he keeps mumbling to you, and in that blissful moment, your situation doesn’t seem quite so dire anymore, more like a bad dream. You’re safe now, aren’t you? How could you not be?

But then you blink back into reality again when Bucky sits you down on the closed lid of your toilet and slowly makes you let go of his shirt, kneeling down in front of you. The blue of his eyes is devastating, even though you have to keep blinking to keep him in focus.

You don’t want to have to do this, you realize once your gasps for air start calming again. You’re not sure if you can bear it.

But nothing in this loop has been about what you wanted.

And so your resolve is made, with your heart sinking until it’s hidden away deep, deep inside of your chest. You ball your hands into fists to keep your fingers from twitching.

Two or three times he watches you inhale, start to say something, halt before you can, almost choking on it. Like your body is refusing to go through with it.

"How do you know when I’m lying?" you finally ask, and your voice sounds oddly clear in your small bathroom.

Bucky’s face goes from concern to confusion, his frown deepening. You want to smoothe it away with your thumb.

You close your eyes so maybe the temptation goes away.

"What?" he asks, and he still sounds so damn gentle.

"I’ve never been able to lie to you," you say. "What’s my tell?"

You can feel him move away from you and the ache of it makes you look again. His shirt and his hands are covered in his own blood, and you’re sure there’s some fucking metaphor in the way it stains the golden inlets of his vibranium arm crimson but for the most part, you can’t unsee the damn irony of it all.

Because you’ve pissed him off now.

"You scared the shit out of me, Y/N. And Sam, too." There’s the sharpness in his voice you know all too well. You haven’t heard it in a while. "What the hell is going on?"

"I’m trapped in a time loop," you say, squeezing your fists more tightly. "I’ve been reliving this day for weeks, my powers aren’t working, I’m the only one who can stop time from completely collapsing, I can’t do that without my powers, and you’re gonna die later today. Am I lying?"

It’s maybe the worst way you’ve ever told him, because watching Bucky’s face change is almost too much. This is exactly why you’re doing it, though; as long as you’re going through this loop with a giant guilty knot in your stomach, you’re not going to make any progress. And you need to put an end to all of it.

So you meet his gaze, almost unwavering, and you don’t blink.

His shock bursts free as an incredulous laugh. "What?"

"I’m stuck," you say again, slower, nodding at his hands, his blood, continuing to push, "and you keep dying."

Bucky looks down, then, before his gaze falls back onto you and he sits back on his heels. The pause lasts for way too long, heavy and smelling of iron, and you’re pretty sure you’re suffocating. He only says one word, and it sounds so defeated. "How?"

You swallow heavily. "You got shot on a mission," you say, but he shakes his head, the fire returning to his eyes.

"No. How did you get stuck?"

"I …" You blink, because you’re not prepared for this question, because you can never predict what he’s going to say, because he keeps doing that to you, because somehow, and not like you’ve expected, you feel like you’ve been here before.

How did it happen? That’s not … Okay.

"It was an accident," you finally say, helplessly, defensively.

There’s a flicker of something in Bucky’s eyes. "What happened?"

"You died. You died that first time and I didn’t—I couldn’t …" You swallow the sob that threatens to shake your voice again. Damnit, you’re supposed to push him away.

He moves his arm, then hesitates, as if he wants to reach out to you but changes his mind at the very last moment.

Right. He doesn’t normally do that.

Except he has.

He has held your hand and pulled you closer and written on your arm and let you lean on him with the full weight of your body, as if to him, you weighed nothing at all. He’s been offering to carry your load so many times, and he doesn’t remember a single one of them.

"Please don’t look at me like that," you say tonelessly, watching Bucky retreat.

"Like what?"

"Like I’m gonna fall apart at any moment. And yes," you add when his mouth opens, "I—I know I just did, I’m aware of the irony, but this is exactly why I can’t keep telling you, I don’t—I can’t stand it." You press your wrists against your temples, ignoring the buzz of the whirling time symbols against your skin, the stinging in your eyes. "You shouldn’t even—I mean, are you even the slightest bit worried about yourself? Because I feel like I’m the only one here, and I should’ve just—"

You stop yourself, shaking your head. Your hands are very clammy all of a sudden, and when you tug at your rings just to do something, one of them slips off your finger and clangs against the tiles as if to punctuate the silence.

When you reach down, you move your wrist in a way that makes you hiss in pain and flinch back. Bucky’s eyes flit between your own and your hand, his frown deepening in a strangely soft way. "Did you break it?" he asks quietly.

"I’m fine," you mumble, and he looks at you disapprovingly. "You’d grabbed my hand just before …"

His jaw twitches as the blame settles in again, and you would do fucking anything to finally make him understand that none of this is his fault. That you should be in pain for what you’re putting him through.

"It should’ve been me," you tell him, because it’s true.

Even earlier in the week, you would’ve taken great delight in seeing Bucky Barnes’ face fall at something you’d said. Hell, you’d have probably enjoyed it on Thursday, because there used to be this easy sort of gratification that came from riling him up, from catching him off guard.

Seeing it now, though?

It makes your fingers twitch.

"Don’t say that. Not even as a joke."

"I’m not joking." You can feel your pulse in your ears. "They aimed a shot at me, and you pushed me out of the way, and you died. So by all accounts, if your instincts weren’t so damn noble all the time, it should’ve been me, and if I weren’t such a fucking coward, I’d have gone back and switched places with you weeks ago."

The thought terrifies you, even though it’s true. No part of you wants to go through the things Bucky is, but if someone gave you the choice between either one of you right now, you wouldn’t even have to think about it.

Maybe that’s the most terrifying thought of them all. You would die for him. Once, twice, however many times are necessary if that meant that he’s safe.

"I’d like to see you try," Bucky says, and something slams into your chest as an old familiar shiver runs down your spine.

There’s a pained edge to his gaze, contemplative and heartbreaking and …

"You’re doing it again," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

"What am I doing?" His hand brushes your knee, and your skin is left searing.

You swallow heavily. "Being noble."

Bucky chuckles softly, and his eyes leave yours for just a moment. "Don’t exactly feel like that."

He’s beautiful.

It’s a new thought, despite everything. Even when you’ve noticed it before, you’d roll your eyes at the fact and move on, because this was Bucky. So what if his face was delectably handsome?

But it seems like you haven’t known it at all, because right now, you feel the knowledge of it, of him, surge through you with all its facets. You can’t even begin to put it into words, because where would you start? How do you explain what he makes you feel when he hasn’t been there himself, not in any way that matters or sticks? And if it’s never happened at all, if time keeps unraveling like this, how can it even be real?

So it’s pure instinct that makes you move, like someone would pinch themselves to ensure they’re not asleep, even though you’re very aware that this isn’t just a dream. You need to confirm that Bucky is real, though.

The air stands still when your fingertips trace along his cheekbone, leaving a delicate flush behind in their trail, barely touching and yet …

And yet.

His breath hitches when they dip lower, almost reaching the place you’ve watched dimple when he laughs, but he doesn’t move away. He doesn’t laugh, either.

There’s a scraping sound at the closed bathroom door, followed by a short knock. You flinch backwards.

"I’m leaving the first aid kit on the bed," Sam calls from the other side. "Just … holler if you need me."

"Thanks, Sam," Bucky says coarsely, and you can hear steps receding. The scratching continues, though. That damn cat.

Finally, he breaks eye contact, clearing his throat.

"Do you want me to help you clean up?"

You shake your head. You’re not sure you could stomach more of this. "I’m good, don’t … Don’t worry about it."

Bucky drags a hand through his hair, muttering something to himself you can’t quite make out. Slowly, he gets to his feet again.

"We need to come up with a plan," he says, and you want to cry except … you’re tired. Tired and sick of this.

"I need to come up with a plan," you correct him. "We have been trying to do this as a team for weeks, and it doesn’t change anything except waste time and …" And hurt. "I can’t do it anymore, Buck."

There must be something in your voice that thaws his defiant glare a little. "So what’s the plan?"

And with a sigh, you fill him in on everything that’s been going on with Strange and your powers. Again. One last time.

You have to do this alone.

Bucky ignores your insistence that you can manage just fine and sets your wrist while you talk. Alpine, now free to roam wherever she pleases again, has decided the bathroom isn’t quite that interesting after a short look inside, and is now taking a nap in the spot of sunshine next to your bed.

"New deal," he says once you’re done, once he’s thought about it all, and you raise your eyebrows. "Don’t do anything stupid."

"You know me," you smile, checking the makeshift dressing around your hand. The green symbols are hidden by the layers of gauze.

Bucky doesn’t bite. "I’m serious, just—don’t."

"How would you know?"

"I wouldn’t," he says, snapping the first aid kit shut so vehemently Alpine’s tail twitches. "But I trust you."

Your head whips up at his words, even though his back is still turned to you. He doesn’t see your face as your heart is jostled into a new rhythm, so violently and unexpectedly that you lift your hand without thinking, pinkie outstretched.

"Promise."

He smiles when he notices, and you wish you could take a picture to carry with you through the rest of this nightmare.

That day, he dies with your stupid nickname on his lips, twisted into something that looks strangely close to that earlier smile. This one doesn’t have time to reach his eyes, though.

***

There’s been a change in the weather.

Not literally, no; of course not literally. Fuck, you long for a single cloud, a raindrop, a damn hailstorm to break the streak of endless perfectly sunny days that don’t fit your mood in the slightest.

But there’s a tinge to the sky that makes your stomach turn. It’s not very obvious to anyone who hasn’t looked at the exact same sunset for weeks on end, just a single strip of color across a storybook horizon. It looks like a crack.

"Do you see that?" you ask warily when you notice it for the first time, ominous and yet almost completely hidden by the trees and the buildings. Just dancing around the edge of your vision like another mockery.

"What?" Sam asks, eyes not leaving the path ahead.

"That … thing in the sky. What is that?"

Bucky stops and squints at where you’re pointing. "It’s called a cloud," he says dryly.

"With that color?" you murmur, but continue walking when he stops to turn to you, your wrist tingling. His stare is searing your neck, but you ignore that, too.

The best course of action, you’ve learned, is to shut your brain off as soon as you get out of the quinjet and just go through the motions, trying to ride out the mission like you’ve done dozens of times before. There’s a sort of autopilot you’ve fallen into after a couple of days, and it’s the only thing keeping you somewhat sane. Most days, it means it’s all over quickly, and you can’t help but feel glad about that.

You’ve given up trying to change your own actions to get him through the day.

But this …

It’s something new, and in all this monotony, that thought is both frightening and exciting. It distracts you enough to get you off script.

"Lovely interior design," Sam mumbles like he always does.

"Remember how this was supposed to be a day off?" You kick one of the pebbles in your path with a sigh. "What happened to 'don’t worry, Y/N, after training the day is all yours'?"

"Occupational hazard," Sam says, checking his map for the thousandth time.

"You know what I mean."

"Don’t you have tomorrow off?" Bucky says over the intercom.

Tomorrow. "Right." It comes out somewhat strained, your fingernails digging into the palm of your hand. "And why do you know that?"

Sam shakes his head and there’s a brief crackle of static in your ear. For a fraction of a second, you nearly dare to hope Bucky will give you an answer, even though you have no clue what it would be.

"They’re heading your way now," he says instead, "so get a move on."

And just like that, you’re back on track.

Quickly clearing your throat of the lump that has formed there, you say tonelessly, "I probably only have one reset left. Two, if we’re lucky and you two aren’t being stupid again."

It’s taken you a while to get used to it. To the constant lying.

You’ve worn fingerless gloves on missions before, so that’s not raised any questions from the others yet, and your rings stay hidden away. You’ve been more reluctant to take them off since the one you lost on your bathroom floor vanished into thin air.

The other thing you’ve picked up on while endlessly repeating this day is that Bucky is less likely to catch you in a lie if he can’t see your face.

So you’ve made an effort of spending as little time as possible with him.

It’s surprisingly easy to stay in your room for the majority of the day, because he doesn’t remember it ever being any other way. Even today’s little exchange will be lost to the loop soon enough, just like that little pause he made, just like the bullet through his heart.

Still, when you wake up with a start on Friday, July 4th, you look at the sky first. Its perfect blue doesn’t soothe the sinking feeling in your stomach at all.

You’ve been waiting for something to change for weeks, and now that it’s here, you don’t like it at all.

"What did you expect?" Strange says with an infuriating composure once you’ve nervously recounted your experience. "I told you, time isn’t supposed to get stuck in this way. Of course your reality was going to act up sooner or later."

"I really feel like you should be more concerned about this," you mutter, letting a ball of green energy pass from your left hand to the right. It’s about the size of a quarter now.

"Honestly," Strange answers, "I thought something like this would have happened a while ago." He taps his fingers together. "Again. Slower."

"So what am I supposed to do then, just ignore it?" The green ball pulses with your indignation, turns around itself once and then sinks into your palm again.

"In all likelihood, it’s a one time glitch. If everything is back to normal today, I wouldn’t worry about it."

Your thumb rubs across the empty space on your finger. "Easy for you to say if you’re not the one who’s stuck in an endless hellscape."

"Aren’t I?"

You both roll your eyes at each other, but then you bite the inside of your cheek again, unable to shake the feeling of a whole new shade of dread. "What if it’s not just a one time glitch?"

The corners of Strange’s cloak roll up on themselves, and he doesn’t meet your eye when he says, "We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it."

It’s still early when you return to the present, too early for Bucky to be back from wherever he’s always going, so you decide to venture out of your room again, stretching your tired limbs. You’re pretty sure at this point that waking up on the floor is never going to feel fun.

Sam is in the kitchen as always, reading something on his laptop. He’s still sitting down, which means that it’s even earlier than you expected. You miss these early parts of the day, the calm before the storm.

If today were only made up of these few hours, you suppose, it might not be half so bad.

You pull up a chair next to him and lean a cheek against your hand. "What’re you doing?"

"Research." Sam sighs, rubbing his temples. "Remember that ULTIMATUM group?"

"Never heard of them," you say with a small yawn. "Is that an acronym? What does it stand for?"

Sam gives you a glare and your mouth twitches slightly.

"Anyway," he continues, turning his laptop so you can see the article he’s reading. "They’ve been more active again lately. Acquired a couple thousand dollars’ worth of lab equipment through one of their contacts and then went underground again."

Of course, you know all this. You’ve been over it again and again, back when you were all still trading information like it could save Bucky’s life. Like there was a deeper meaning behind any of this damn loop other than the fact that you, and you alone, fucked up.

Useless.

You close the mental door on those thoughts and take a deep breath. You hate to admit it, but all of this sitting around with your thoughts bullshit you’ve been doing has actually helped you to clear your head somewhat—if only to make it through the parts of the day you can’t avoid.

"And now what?" you ask, pretending to just have reacquainted yourself with the topic.

"Now," Sam says, taking his laptop with him as he stands up and strolls over to the kitchen island, "I’m waiting for Torres to get back to me so we can decide our next steps once we’re all recovered." He gives you a meaningful look and you scowl.

Then, slowly, his words register in your brain, and you stare at his back as he stretches and then moves to make some coffee, wordlessly taking one of your mugs out of the cupboard as well as his own.

"You don’t seem too worried," you say hesitantly.

Sam shrugs. "Until we have a proper lead, there’s not much we can do. And I doubt they’ll be doing any actual damage any time soon. They’re a lot more covert than the Flag Smashers ever were."

"Right," you say, more to yourself than in response.

"Try that again, less convincing?"

"I don’t know," you mutter, slowly following him to lean against the fridge. "Just … what if Torres did find something? Should I be getting ready?"

Sam frowns. "Are you not telling me something again?"

You try to shake the thought, pulling your arms around you. "Forget it."

You don’t, though.

It keeps bugging you, because that day like any other day, he knocks on your door at 4:32 on the dot, and you go on that mission anyway. And even though this has been happening for weeks, you’re just starting to suspect that you are, in fact, still not getting the whole picture.

***

Catching a glimpse of Sam’s phone turns out to be more difficult than you first thought.

You’re still trying to get the timing exactly right a couple of days later, and you miscalculate enough to catch Bucky on his way upstairs.

"Hey," he says, his shoulders tense when he looks at you. There’s a restlessness to him that he’s not quick enough to hide; or maybe you’ve just grown more perceptive when it comes to him.

"Hi," you say, crossing your hands behind your back. "Where’ve you been?"

He shrugs. "For a walk."

You already know he won’t elaborate if you try poking, so you don’t. "Was it good?"

"Lotta people." He hesitates when you continue to not meet his eye, and then he says, "Do you want to talk about it?"

You swallow, ignoring the tingling sensation on your wrist. "Not particularly. Do you?"

Bucky’s jaw twitches. "Nah."

Somehow, you feel like that’s also a lie. Once again, you’re left wondering.

The silence between you stretches as you continue to not quite look at each other, until you finally clear your throat, nodding at the front door. "I’m getting coffee, do you want something?"

Honestly, it’s just an excuse as to why you need to leave before he notices something off again somehow, but Bucky tilts his head in amusement.

"Didn’t you just get some this morning?"

"So? I like coffee."

"Really. I never knew."

"Screw you."

You can hear him huff behind you, but thankfully the door falls shut before you can do anything stupid. Like turning around to face him, for example.

You miss his eyes.

Why won’t you look at me?

When the elevator doors open, you almost yelp into your delivery guy’s face. He stumbles a half-step backwards, somehow managing to keep a hold of the boxes precariously balanced on his arm while he’s reading something on his phone.

"Oh my god," he lets out, "I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I was just …"

"Early." You blink.

"Sorry?"

"Nothing," you say, frowning only a little. "Wait, let me get that."

You quickly sign for the delivery and open the door with your keycard, holding it open for him. You’re not exactly afraid of burglars these days, and besides; you know this guy by now.

"If you could just go straight ahead and to the right, that’s where the kitchen is."

"Sure thing," he shrugs. "Thanks—"

His mouth snaps shut and he blushes a little as if he wanted to say something else but thought better of it.

You’ve introduced him to Sam enough times you know he’s going to be fine, so you just smile and wave him in.

When you step out on the street, you instinctually look up at the sky. It’s outrageously blue, blatantly perfect for an endless Friday, and even when you squint, you can’t make out any irregularities.

It’s a tiny relief, but a relief nontheless.

Lucy is leaning against the wall just out of sight of the storefront, an unlit cigarette dangling between her lips as she rummages through her pockets. Her colorful makeup has begun to melt off in the sweltering heat, making the red-white-and-blue stars on her cheeks bleed into each other to look somewhat purplish.

"Are you off or on break?" you call over.

She lifts her head, the glare vanishing when she recognizes you. "Counting the seconds," she says. "Don’t you have anything better to do?"

You sidestep a couple of pedestrians hurrying to cross the street and join her. "Not really."

"I hate you." She finally fishes a lighter out of her back pocket, sighing contentedly as she takes her first drag. "I swear, this day just won’t pass."

Fine. Maybe your chuckle is a little shrill. "I’m sorry."

Lucy waves you off with a gesture crude enough to make a young dad with a stroller send the two of you a dirty look. "You without your shadow today?" she asks, inspecting her nails.

You blink. "My shadow."

"You know. Your friend who’s been in here eight thousand times and still gets confused when he orders." A cloud of smoke vanishes into thin air. "Kind of the lingering type, isn’t he?"

"He’s old," you say, because for some reason nothing else comes to mind.

"Not that old."

"No," you agree, "not that old."

For a moment, you’re afraid she’s going to ask you to pass her number along to him, and you’re already scrambling to find an answer somewhere in the depths of your brain, coming up empty. That’s the problem with being able to unhave entire conversations; you don’t usually really have to deal with reactions if you don’t want to.

Without your powers, though, you’re stuck, and it’s making you wish you hadn’t come here at all.

Instead of any of that, she pulls a flyer out of her other pocket. "Sorin and Cass are doing a gig in Brooklyn next week, do you wanna come with? They’re still terrible, but they got a new bassist who seems alright."

You take the flyer, staring at it. "I didn’t know they’re in a band," you admit.

The truth is, you’ve never paid that much close attention to the people you work with. Maybe that’s been a mistake.

Lucy shrugs. "You’re always doing your own thing." It stings, even though you’re pretty sure she doesn’t mean for it to. "It’d be fun if you came, though."

"I’ll think about it," you say, and your smile is a little unsure, but genuine.

So is hers.

"If you don’t want to hang with us all night, you can bring some friends, too." Her emphasis hangs in the air between you like a dare.

You snort. "I feel like this isn’t quite their scene."

"You feel like or you know?"

"Isn’t that the same thing?"

"No." She puts her cigarette out on the wall behind her. "Knowledge is based on experience. On memories. Your feelings don’t sit in your head. And so they don’t make sense and they’re not necessarily true." She winks.

"You’re weirdly smart," you say, shaking your head.

"I know. It’s a curse." Lucy sighs. "Anyway, think about it. I gotta get back to hell."

"You know," you say with a grin, "I could really do with a frappuccino right about now."

"You know what you could do?" she answers in her sweetest customer service voice, pointing you down the street. "Get in a trash can."

Damnit. You might actually grow to like Lucy.

She taps her fingers against her temple and then shuffles back inside, a hot rush of air blowing out of the AC as the door opens. You fold the flyer up to fit into your back pocket, hoping you’ll make it to that concert one day, and then you walk on, aimless again for the moment.

***

Time passes while it’s standing still.

The problem is, at least for the moment, that by all appearances you’ve reverted back to square one. Going through your day as though any of this is even remotely normal, counting the hours and minutes to reenter the astral plane and feel some semblance of control again.

It’s been nice, really, if you’re ignoring the constant underlying feeling of dread.

Which you’re getting better at.

You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.

Rinse and repeat.

You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.

Even on days when you’re sure you’re making progress with your powers, every reset makes it just a little harder to keep dragging yourself onwards.

You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.

"You look like shit."

Your head rolls to the side slowly, allowing yourself a glance while Bucky is still distracted with his arm. Concentration makes his brows knit, and something warm spreads in your chest.

"I’m so tired," you say, voice barely above a whisper.

He doesn’t look at you, but you’re grateful for it for once. Your eyes are stinging a little.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Yes. Yes. Yes.

"Not particularly."

"Do you want to talk about something else?"

You almost smile. "Like what?"

Bucky shrugs with one shoulder. "Like the fact that you just planted Sam into the mat head-first and yet made a face like you killed a puppy?"

Sometimes you wonder how he still manages to slip in without you noticing, no matter how many times he does it.

"Did I?"

"Did you kill a puppy? I’d hope not."

Your body’s been getting stronger, anticipating Sam’s every move. At this point, it’s not so much training as it is an exercise in muscle memory; but how would he know that?

It still isn’t enough. It’s never enough.

You pitiful, selfish, useless bastard.

"You’re doing it again," Bucky says and you blink.

"Doing what?"

"I don’t know, but I don’t like it."

Something inside you twinges uncomfortably and you wrap your arms around your knees, pulling them into your chest. "That might just be me, period."

Bucky huffs. "Take the towel on the right," he says. "I already used the other one."

So you do.

And then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume, and then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume, and then you wake up with blah, blah, blah.

"I can’t do this anymore."

Strange watches you, but you don’t get up from where you’re lying, blankly staring at the ceiling, feeling like your chest is about to explode.

You don’t want to feel like something is tearing you apart every single time, even though you know it’s not permanent. There’s always the tiniest glimmer of hope that this will all be over soon.

Or maybe it’s dread.

"Maybe you can’t," Strange answers.

You blink, sitting upright. "What?"

"Maybe you are actually incapable of cleaning up your own mess. You’ve never had any training before, after all. Maybe you’re too weak."

Useless. Not good enough. Waste of time.

"If this is reverse psychology, it’s not working," you say through gritted teeth, pressing your eyes shut so tightly they don’t burn anymore.

Strange ignores you. "Maybe you’re going to be stuck in this loop forever. If that’s the case, there’s no point to keep trying either. Maybe we should just call it a day."

You can feel your breaths coming in shorter.

"Maybe you’re just going to keep failing to save anyone for the rest of your life."

"Stop it!"

An explosion of power goes through your body, bouncing off the walls and bathing the room in a ghostly green light. You cough and curl into yourself as you watch it billow, still echoing the words back at you, "too weak", "stuck in this loop forever". Your bones are heavy with exhaustion.

Strange crouches down next to you and a cup of fragrant tea draws itself up to the side of your face.

"You’re drawing the bulk of your power from pain. From a desire to fix things that you think you alone are responsible for when the truth is that each and every one of us is constantly creating reality."

"Fuck you," you mumble. When you sit up, your head is still swimming.

"You cannot keep this up."

"If I’m such a lost case, then why do you bother?"

"I’m trying to tell you that you’re not." He points at the walls, still covered by that greenish fog. "This is the strongest display of your powers I’ve seen from you yet, and it only happened because you were lashing out. Pain is not a sustainable source of energy. Imagine what you could do if you could be in control."

Do as I tell you.

"There’s no way to control my powers on a larger scale. It’s impossible."

"You keep telling me that, and yet you keep coming back. Why?"

You push yourself up to your elbows, wiping at your face. "Because I have to hope, right?"

"And there it is."

You take a sip of your tea and some feeling returns to your translucent fingers. Strange’s cloak draws itself around your shoulders.

The wizard himself stays quiet for another minute or two, before he asks, "Why do you think I’m talking to you right now? Helping you, even, nevermind your constant whining and your insistence that this won’t work, after you’ve spent your whole life running away from anything resembling actual responsibilities."

"I didn’t—"

"Answer the question."

"Because I created a time loop?" you guess.

"But you already know that this loop is just one point on the timeline. A single day, repeated endlessly, but going exactly like it was always supposed to, once resolved. So, without the time stone and my privileges as the Sorcerer Supreme, and with your protections still in place, how would I have found you?"

He knew exactly where and when to look for you. But he’s right, that shouldn’t even have been possible unless …

"I came to you," you realize. "Or, I will, once I get out of this." The relief that washes over you makes you want to sob. "So there is a way out?"

"Of course there is," he says, surprisingly gently. "Time isn’t supposed to get stuck."

You sit with that for a minute, hiding your face in your hands as Strange stays silent. Finally, you take a deep breath and look at him again with newly sharp focus.

"So why don’t you just tell me how to do it?"

He raises an eyebrow. "You know that’s not how it works."

"Yes. It is. It’s literally what I do all the time."

"What you do is leaving realities you don’t like by turning backwards."

"That’s not true."

"Just because your motivations aren’t entirely selfish doesn’t mean you’re right."

You’re so damn exhausted. The frustration of this whole thing is really starting to scratch at your sanity, and there’s an ache in your chest as you stare at your own sleeping face, biting the inside of your cheek, thinking.

Strange snaps his fingers to get your attention back.

"I’m not a mind reader," he says. "Out with it."

"I want to see him," you say, getting up. The cloak flaps around you in a very satisfying way. "Bucky. It’s early this morning, right? Just before the loop starts again. That means he’s upstairs."

"And what’s seeing him going to do?"

You ignore him and walk towards the door, reaching for the handle. Your hand goes right through it. You try it several more times, to no avail.

"Heaven help me," Strange mutters behind you.

Shutting your eyes, you take a deep breath. The circle of green tingles around your wrist.

Then, you walk through the closed door.

You fully expect to crash into the wood head first, but instead you feel the door moving through your noncorporeal form, and then you’re standing on the other side.

With a startled hum, you turn left, not waiting to see if you’re being followed.

You only hesitate in front of Bucky’s bedroom door. You’ve never actually been inside his room since he’s moved in; well, apart from that time he patched up your feet and you woke up in the astral plane for the first time. It feels odd to consider entering without him actually being aware of it.

Then again, there’s quite a few things at this point that he’s unaware of.

Before you can make up your mind, the door swings open just a little, and you automatically take a step back. Alpine sleepily slinks through the gap and trots off in the direction you came from, probably to sit in the kitchen and mope until FRIDAY activates the food dispenser again. On the stairs, she passes Strange who raises an eyebrow at you.

"Changed your mind?"

You glance into the room.

At first, you can’t find him. The bedding looks untouched, and there’s a brief flurry of panic that makes you step inside before you can keep questioning yourself.

Bucky is lying on the floor next to the bed, his hands balled tightly into an old throw blanket. It’s haphazardly draped across his torso, like he’s been trying to wriggle free during the night. He grimaces in his sleep.

Try the floor.

You can’t help but wonder when he’s last tried the bed.

"Can he hear us?" you ask quietly, not needing to look over your shoulder as you sink to the floor next to Bucky.

"No," Strange says. "Not until you put in a lot more work."

"Would he remember if I did?"

"I don’t know."

You do look back at him, then. "You know, considering your position you don’t know a whole lot of things."

You concentrate on your own hand until you’re starting to feel cool metal underneath your fingertips, ignoring the throbbing of your head. Carefully, you touch the crease between his brows, smoothing it out tenderly.

Bucky sighs a little in his sleep, but doesn’t stir. Doesn’t stop quietly murmuring in his dreams.

"You feel better?" Strange asks.

"Not really." You’ve already reached out to him without it having any repercussions too many times. "But that wasn’t the point."

"What was?"

"Just …"

Comfort. He brings you comfort, even when he doesn’t know it. It’s the same reason you keep waiting for him to arrive in the gym in the mornings, even though you could probably hurry up and miss him.

Even if the loop never ends, it’s still good to see that it’s bringing him back like it’s supposed to.

How incredibly selfish, you think as you continue looking at Bucky and letting a quiet, hesitant wash of calm come over you.

And then, all of a sudden, his eyes open.

You flinch backwards, but even though you’re almost face to face, he seems to stare right through you, his breaths heavy.

"Did I do something?" you say quietly.

"No," Strange answers. "This is just when he wakes up."

You watch as Bucky drags a hand over his face and then gets up with a determined tick in his jaw, grabbing a notebook from the nightstand. He scribbles something down, hastily, like it’s threatening to get away from him if he doesn’t hurry. You don’t have to read it to know it has something to do with what he’s seen in his sleep.

When the words stop flowing, he sits on the edge of the bed for a minute longer, but the tension doesn’t leave his shoulders. Finally, he rolls his left arm a few times before pulling on a shirt and his running shoes.

He always goes for a run in the morning. You’ve made fun of him for it before, but you hadn’t put together that while Strange was trying to get you to clear your own head through sitting still, Bucky might be doing the exact opposite to get the same result.

The door clicks shut.

"Are we done with the spying, then?" Strange says.

"No need to get weird about it," you mumble and take his outstretched hand.

***

Something changes once you know that your situation actually has an end date, even though Strange either cannot or will not tell you how many more loops you’re going to have to go through until then. Even so, there’s a new assurance to your every step again, a determination grown from the knowledge that all this isn’t for nothing. That there is an out.

You can cling to that.

"What would you do if you were stuck in a time loop?" you ask, letting your legs dangle over the ledge of the roof.

"Ew, no," Lucy replies, shaking the few remaining ice cubes in her cup emphatically. "My shift was long enough as is, and I’ve been looking forward to my Sunday off all week."

"Fair point," you concede.

It’s early afternoon then, and you’ve found a quiet spot on the top of the Tower. If Lucy was at all confused why you’d shown up at the store right when she clocked out and asked her to hang out, she’s not showing it. Over the past couple of loops, you’ve learned that she really likes to go with the flow, and you appreciate that.

"If it’s not today, though," she continues, like she’s thinking aloud. "Imagine the books you could read. You could try out all that stuff that you say you want to do, and then you never have the time to actually do them."

It’s a good thought, but a lack of time has never really been an issue for you. "Nothing you do would really stick, though."

She squints against the sun. "You realize that’s a pro, right? No consequences whatsoever. I could cut my bangs again and they’d be gone the next day."

"You used to have bangs?"

"Never, and I’m willing to state that in a court of law."

You smile and lean back on your elbows. "If something good happened, that’d be gone, too, though. You don’t get to keep that, either."

"Yeah," Lucy says thoughtfully. "I’d still remember it though, right? It still happened. I could make it happen again."

"Maybe." Your thumb scratches the empty space on your pinkie. Even though you’ve turned your entire bathroom upside down, your ring is still gone, like it just up and disappeared from this reality. You can’t help but wonder if that rift in the sky from a few todays ago has anything to do with that.

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

Lucy takes another slurping sip from her almost empty cup. "What would you do in a time loop?"

You can’t help but laugh. "I’d try to keep making the good things happen, I guess."

"Sounds like a lot of work."

It is.

"Are you out of your damn mind?" someone shouts behind you. "It’s in the fricking nineties today and you’re baking?"

"Technically, we are baking," you say, nodding at Lucy and leaning back further so you can look at Sam upside down. "And we’re baking for you."

"Hi, cap," Lucy says, pulling her sunglasses off.

"Hey." Sam crosses his arms and fixes you with a very cap-like glare. "Why are you baking for me."

"Y/N said it’s for your birthday."

"My—" He cuts himself off, rubbing his temples. "My birthday’s in September."

"Whoops," you say, your grin just believable enough. "My bad, cap."

"You’re not funny," Sam says, "I hope you know that."

You know.

Of course, today isn’t actually his birthday, not even if time were allowed to pass normally. It is day forty-fucking-nine of the loop, though, which makes it your fiftieth time living through this crap and frankly, you all deserve some damn pie.

It’s not going to make a difference in the long run, of course, and yet you can’t help but feel like keeping count of those little markers of time helps to hold your head above water. Making the good things happen, even if they don’t change a thing and no one but you is going to remember.

So you simply say, "It’s turtle pie," because you know that it’s Sam’s favorite. "Hey, what’s the time?"

"Oh, it better be," he says, holding his phone up for you to read and then marching out of your field of vision.

Sadly, you’re just about a minute early.

"He could’ve stayed," Lucy says when you let out a frustrated huff.

"He has that thing at the Garden," you tell her distractedly, taking a mental note to stall Sam a little longer next time.

"There you are."

You flinch at the sound of Bucky’s voice, barely daring to move your head when he sits next to you, his back to the brink.

He never comes up here. That’s the whole point.

"Hi?" you say carefully, and a grin tugs at his mouth.

"Not you," he says, nodding to the ground in front of him.

You turn around fully to find Alpine taking a nap just a few feet behind you, her snowy tail wrapped around a flower pot.

You let out a relieved breath and ignore the small sting in your chest. Of course he’s not up here because of you. Why would he be?

"Gee, thanks," you murmur, quietly shifting around so your hands are hidden underneath your legs. "You sure know how to charm the ladies."

You glance back at Lucy, but she’s looking at her phone, her eyes once again indecipherable behind the large sunglasses.

Bucky raises an eyebrow. "Think you could handle my charm, Y/L/N?"

He might has well have doused you in a bucket of ice water. You’re suddenly very aware of every single cell in your body, and you don’t like the challenge sparkling in his eyes.

So you do what you always do and you block it out. Dismiss and distract.

"Does Alpine seem weird to you?"

He tilts his head, his jaw tight. "Weird how?"

"I don’t know," you say, staring at her. "She’s just been acting … odd, lately. Today, I mean."

And following you around in a way you’re pretty sure she’s never done before. Not before the loop, at least.

Bucky sighs. "Did you make her scratch you again? Because I’ve told you before that I’m not getting rid of her for enforcing her boundaries."

"First of all, I never make her scratch me, she does that well enough on her own."

"That’s victim blaming," Lucy says without looking up. Bucky snorts and you almost roll your eyes.

"Second of all, she’s up to something. I know it."

"Oh, yes," Bucky says dryly just as Alpine makes a small noise in her dreams, her nose twitching. "That’s the embodiment of evil right there."

"I don’t trust her," you mutter.

"And yet the cat’s the weird one."

"I hate you," you mumble, standing up. "I’m gonna go check on the pie."

"There’s pie?" Bucky says.

"Not for you!"

You turn at the door to see Lucy leaning in to show Bucky something on her phone; the frown has disappeared from his face, his shoulders relaxed. If he’d pull off his glove right now, it’d almost be like sitting in a park.

That’s good, you tell yourself as the door slams shut behind you with a bit too much gusto. Reminds you that there’s nothing special about you in particular, which is much needed, really.

Can’t wait to punch that one out of your system later.

Again and again and again and a—

"Whoa, whoa, you alright?"

You blink. Riff slumps to the ground in front of you, body limp.

Bucky stares at you in concern, his hand still on your shoulder. His lip has split open and there’s the usual bruise already forming on his cheekbone. You can’t help it. Your gaze is drawn down, your breathing shallow.

You screw your eyes shut to snap yourself out of it, but when you open them again, Bucky hasn’t moved an inch.

"Never better," you whisper, and for a split second, you almost believe it yourself.

Liar, liar, liar.

***

At least, you suppose, reality seems considerably less broken these days. No more cracks in the sky.

You get your wake-up call when you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY …

"… FRIDAY?" you say into the silence of your room, your heart pounding wildly. This cannot be happening. Not now.

Not yet.

He got shot again yesterday.

A pleasant jingling sound rings out. "Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N."

You look at the clock on the wall. Ten to eight, just like every morning. "What day is it?"

"Today is Friday, July 4th."

You can taste bile in your mouth despite your relief. There’s an impatient thrum to the symbols around your wrist, like a noose that’s tightening.

What did you expect?

"Rise and shine, McFly! Time to get your ass kicked!"

"Didn’t you set FRIDAY to wake me?" you ask Sam as you’re climbing the stairs, nerves on edge.

He looks at you weirdly. "I did. You’re up, aren’t you?"

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Didn’t sleep well."

That much, at least, is still true. Full nights of sleep are a long distant memory from before constant back-to-back repetitions. The only time your body shuts off is when you manage to sleep for a little bit in between your astral visits and the mission call.

"I hope you don’t think that’s an excuse," Sam says, bumping your shoulder, and you manage a tired grin.

"You wish."

Today, you let him win, even though your ankle makes an odd crack when you land on the mat. You’ll take care of it later.

"You look like shit."

Grief and relief, you’ve learned, both taste like salt and iron, but the latter is so much easier to swallow.

"That makes two of us," you say, sitting up slowly. "How was your run?"

"Good," Bucky says, putting the cloth away and stretching his fingers out. They catch a ray of sunlight. "What’s wrong with you?"

Not this again.

"Later, okay?" you answer, because that’s not a lie. "Let’s just … not, right now?"

"Alright," he says.

And, oh, you want to tell him again. Because he doesn’t press it. Because you miss having someone to share things with. Because you miss telling him the whole truth. Because you’re scared, and tired, and sick of losing him.

But those are egotistic thoughts, and so you keep them all to yourself and take the towel on the right.

There’s one good thing about this today. You make it to the living room just in time to finally catch a glimpse of Sam’s phone right when it pings with Torres’ message.

I can check it out on Monday if you’d like.

That’s it. No urgency, weirdly proper spelling, not even an exclamation mark.

In other words, you’re not sure what you expected but you’re no closer to answers than before.

"What does it matter?" Strange sighs when you tell him all of this with a frown.

"It matters," you reply, "because if we hadn’t gone on the mission, Bucky wouldn’t have died that first time and none of this would’ve happened."

"So what?" he says. "It’s already done."

"But if I could prevent it—"

"It already happened."

"I can make it not happen."

"You and what powers?" Strange says sharply. "Even if you did that, it wouldn’t stop the loop."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you’ve already seen first-hand that it’s bound to you and your powers, not to whatever you do or don’t do during the day. Karma is a fairy tale for those who don’t want to take responsibility for their actions."

"Do you really still think this is me not taking responsibility?" There’s a green flare that goes through you, hot and seething and making goosebumps crawl down your arms.

Strange smiles at the sight. "Let’s find out."

He extends his arms and slowly opens his fists until orange symbols dance across his shaky fingers. The band around your wrist prickles at the weight of his magic flooding the air.

Strange’s cloak nudges you towards the center of the room and your heart gives a heavy thud. "What, right now?"

"Would you prefer being stuck for a couple weeks more?"

"Of course not it’s just—I don’t feel ready."

"No one ever feels ready until they try."

And maybe it’s because it reminds you of something Steve once said, but it makes you step up, falling into the stance you’ve practiced over and over again. You breathe in deeply and close your eyes.

The pull comes easier now. Your powers have just been resting, nestled somewhere deep inside your bones like glowing embers, waiting for you to call upon them.

When you look at your open palm, the green wisps of your powers have curled up to the size of a ping-pong ball. You take another steadying breath and let it glide to the tips of your fingers, carefully letting it balance itself out for a second before moving your other hand.

"Good," you can hear Strange say quietly.

Slowly, carefully, you let the threads untangle until they’re just about to touch the green band circling around your wrist. You can feel the electric tingle of it, the soft beat of each passing second contained within, and you push past it.

You’ve done this before, so you’re not surprised when you feel the energy drain from your body almost immediately. Up until now, though, it’s just been trial and error, not expecting anything to happen. This time, you have Strange’s magic feeding some of his strength into you as well, and so instead of hesitating, you press on, your heartbeat speeding up.

The band around your wrist does the same.

"Don’t lose your focus." Strange’s voice sounds very far away, almost warped.

Very funny, you might have said, but you’re too busy watching it all unfold.

The whirring inside of your head grows louder as the circlet of time keeps rotating with accelerating speed, faster and faster until your eyes start tearing up and there’s something that looks almost like a crack.

You gasp quietly. At first, you think you might have just imagined it, but then the split starts growing, the symbols growing farther and farther apart as the band itself keeps spinning. Your pulse is beating in your ears. Your wrist feels like it’s being set on fire.

There are voices, then, quiet and fast, like you’re watching a sped up movie, music and noises and chatter and birdsong and a whooshing sound like something flipping right past you. Then, something like distant shots.

I’m getting Bucky out of this, you think as the green band continues rotating until suddenly, there is a shockwave of green light that takes up your entire field of vision.

You close your stinging eyes, keeping your feet firmly planted on the floor as your powers rush through you once more and then, with a shudder, settle down again, exhausted. The glare subsides. Something like a trickle of sweat runs down your noncorporeal neck.

"Did it work?" you ask, your voice rough, not daring to look for yourself. There’s no answer, though. "Doc?"

Slowly, your eyes readjust to the gloomy darkness of your room in the astral realm. The only source of light is the glowing green band continuing to circle around your wrist, the rifts stabilizing again like it’s clicking back into place.

You swear under your breath and turn around to ask what went wrong, but Strange is no longer standing beside you.

You’re all alone.

***

Three, two, one—

"Iced grande extra whip caramel macchia—shit!"

You catch the plastic cup before it drops onto the suit of the business man standing in line in front of you. "Here you go, sir."

He grabs his drink with a grunt and hurries back outside. One of these days, you might ask him why he’s in such a hurry, but it’s not today.

You’ve grown to adore the noise of the pre-noon rush. The cacophany of the whirring machines, the AC and the people is just loud enough to make your head calm down a little. Besides, being alone in a crowd has never been easier than when you know for a fact they are not going to remember you.

The drinks are starting to pile up at the hand-out, and because you feel bad for your colleagues, you start handing them out to people. You’ve been here a lot, after all.

"Tall hazelnut latte for Misty!"

Plus, it helps to keep your mind from wandering back to everything that’s going wrong.

Strange still hasn’t returned.

The astral dimension feels different when you return the day after your experiment, like someone’s been pulling invisible strings to make everything just slightly more disordered and dark.

It’s cold, too. You watch your body shiver in her sleep as you wrap your arms around yourself. The books are still there, shimmering slightly with the magic they contain.

"Doc?" you call out, and the vibrations of this place hum it back at you. There’s no answer.

The book at the top of the pile is still opened to a page, as if it’d just been left a moment ago, and you pick it up. The words glide around like they are looking to jump back into an inkpot, and you have to squint to make out any of them.

Incursion, the section header reads. Result of a contraction in a universe’s timeline. Can cause premature disintegration or collapse of any one reality within the multiverse.

"Just great," you say, slapping the book shut again. "I get it, alright? You can come out now."

But there’s no sound apart from your own heartbeat.

Your noncorporeal head is swimming with pressure as you pass through the closed door and into the hallway. The walls seem larger than usual, the stairs warping ever so slightly underneath your feet so that you can’t look at them for too long without feeling seasick.

Upstairs, the air doesn’t feel quite as heavy. The silence follows you, though, lingering in the grayish morning shadows like the remnants of a nightmare.

Bucky still mumbles in his.

You can’t make out what he is saying, and you wouldn’t have understood the words, anyway, but there’s sweat on his brow again. His fingers are tightly clutching the thin throw blanket like it’s shielding him from whatever he’s seeing in his dreams.

You take a step closer to him, desperate to do something, anything, when you notice movement out of the corner of your eye.

Alpine is perched on top of the bed, complacently tucked into herself on one of the fluffed up white pillows like it’s really her room, not Bucky’s.

And she’s staring right at you.

You take a step to the side, then another. Alpine tilts her head, her large eyes fixed on you. They follow your gestures as you wave your hand.

A quick glance tells you that Bucky is still sleeping. You take a deep breath and conjure up a small dot of bright green light, letting it dance across your fingertips. Alpine uncurls herself in interest, her tail twitching.

"You can see me," you whisper, and the little spec of your power disappears.

The cat meows in disappointment.

Carefully, you move closer to the bed, reaching out your translucent hand until you place it on Alpine’s head.

She rubs against your palm.

You chuckle incredulously, scratching behind her ears. "You little devil."

Alpine seems particularly pleased with herself. She starts purring.

This is simply bizarre, you think as you continue petting her soft fur. You’re expecting a sarcastic comment from behind your shoulder any minute now, but it doesn’t come.

So, you lower yourself down on the floor next to Bucky, the tips of your fingers not quite grazing his arm as you swallow heavily.

And then you wait until he gets up.

It’s possible, you think as you watch him leave and then make yourself wake up too, that Strange is simply messing with you for the hell of it. You don’t like the timing of this, though. Your day still continues on and on and on, like it always does, but it seems just a little too pointed that this would happen right after you had your first hopes of getting out of here in a long time.

It doesn’t help that the reality glitches have decided to return with a vengeance.

Every day is still July 4th. You wake up with a start, you train, you get coffee, you fight over lunch, you take your astral visit, you go on that damn mission. It’s the details that start to get … fuzzy.

In the beginning, every single thing around you was the exact same every single day. Now, though, there are sometimes details that are just wrong. A different mug left on the drying rack. A mess all over the tables in the lab. Weird noises all over the Tower.

You don’t know what to make of any of it, and so in general, you follow Strange’s rule of thumb and simply ignore the things that are wrong one day and then right the next—which, thankfully, is all of them. You just go with it, telling yourself that this is simply reality malfunctioning a little, like a machine that needs oiling.

Weirdly enough, that doesn’t reassure you in the slightest.

But what else can you do?

You lose a few hours here and there, time seemingly speeding up at random sometimes now. One morning, Bucky isn’t in the gym like he usually is, and you work yourself up over it so much you nearly have a panic attack. In the end, you almost crash into him outside of his room, and a rush of reassurance floods through you with such force you can’t even look at him.

That time, Sam is there when Bucky gets shot, and it’s his cry that follows you into the next day. Your hands are clean this time, and somehow that feels worse.

Everyone’s back to their usual stuff again, and that’s that.

Another time, you’ve barely rolled out of bed and into your bathroom—"Rise and shine, McFly!"—when you’re suddenly jolted forwards and you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume. Your stomach feels like it’s still turning, nauseous, as if you’d sat up too fast.

That feeling still leaves a bad taste in your mouth, sticking to the back of your mind like the blood you haven’t even had time to wash off.

The thing that demands most of your attention, though, is the pile of books waiting for you in the astral realm. Since you don’t have any control over the loop itself, you pour all of your energy into trying to understand the theory behind your powers. It’s giving you a constant headache, and it takes a lot longer than you would like to admit, but at least you feel like you’re doing something that’ll last.

Nothing else will.

There’s one last lonely cup sat on the counter next to your own, which signals that the rush is over for now. You can see Lucy wiping her forehead as you wave your goodbye, picking up both drinks on your way out and handing one of them to the guy just hurrying back downstairs.

"Here you go," you say without stopping, glancing at your phone. You haven’t stayed this late before.

"What the—" you hear behind you, just before the doors glide open and you’re greeted by the sound of traffic and a hot breeze of air.

If you’re lucky, you can make it back to your room without anyone seeing you. You’ve moved on to a particularly hefty tome about relativity, and you’d like to—

"Hey! Miss? Hold on a second!"

You look over your shoulder to see the delivery guy has run after you, cup still in his hand. His bike is leaned against a lamp post nearby, his cap dangling off one of the handles.

You found out a couple of weeks ago that he takes his break just after dropping off your order, but you don’t usually make eye contact anymore.

Now, he holds out his cup accusingly. "That’s my drink."

You smile. "Good for you."

"No. No, that’s not—I mean—how did you know it was my drink?"

And because nothing really matters and you really want to go home, you say, "It has your name on it, doesn’t it?"

You expect him to look at you with wide eyes, just like people normally do when you know things you’re not supposed to. His mouth will drop open, speechless, his frown will deepen, and you can wink at him and continue on your way so he can spend the next couple of hours wondering what just happened.

The cup falls out of his hand, but somehow he manages to catch it before it hits the sidewalk. When he looks up at you again, and his expression is unlike anything you’ve seen coming.

"But that’s not …" he says quietly. "Do you remember me?"

And then it’s you who’s speechless, because the shock on Peter Parker’s face is more than you bargained for.

*****

"Honestly, I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this," you said quietly, looking over the rim of your glass at the crowd.

"You complaining?" you heard Sam’s voice say over the little earpiece you were wearing.

"Not at all."

Apparently, people connected to terrorist organizations threw incredibly fancy parties.

You hadn’t felt this glamorous in a while, if ever, dressed up to the nines in a dark green jumpsuit with an incredibly flattering cut that you’d never had a reason to wear before. Despite your initial doubts about this whole thing, you felt great, for the first time in way too long.

"Are you gonna move any time soon?"

Well. Mostly.

At least Barnes cleaned up nice, you supposed; it almost made up for his grouchy demeanor.

With a sigh, you downed the rest of your drink and got back to work. You let the crowd swallow you up, seemingly on your way to the restrooms, and then you stopped it all to slip upstairs unnoticed by prying eyes and cameras.

You didn’t hold it for very long; you had to rattle some doors, after all, and despite your espresso martini, it was still hard to tell if you could manage several redos back to back. After all, you’d only been back in the game for a couple of weeks.

It took you a few tries to find the right office, and locating the files was comparatively easy with what you already had access to. There it was, proof that ULTIMATUM had managed to secure most of the Flag Smashers’ previous supporters as well as some high brow weapon dealers.

While you copied everything onto a flashdrive, your eyes caught one of the designs. You frowned.

Even though you couldn’t pinpoint what it was, exactly, something about it seemed just slightly too highbrow for an organization of the international bad egg committee that was supposedly still mostly underground. Your gaze started drifting through the rest of the office, noting the usual boring books and glass awards in the bookshelves on the far wall. You pulled open one of the desk drawers.

"You almost done in here?"

"Fuck!" You slammed the drawer shut again, getting your pinkie stuck in the process. "Damnit, where did you come from?"

Bucky pointed over his shoulder.

"Fuck me," you murmured, your eyes stinging at the pain.

Bucky looked nonplussed. "Can’t you just undo it?"

"Great input, thank you." The flashdrive beeped softly and you shut everything down again. At least you were definitely sober now. "What are you, anyway, my babysitter?"

"Wouldn’t have to be if you could check in on time," he answered, checking the corridors, then nodding for you to follow.

"Time’s a social construct," you murmured, but followed him, the flashdrive hidden in your fist.

You didn’t even make it to the staircase.

"Didn’t I tell you?" a voice said right before several triggers clicked and you both froze. "I knew I’d recognized that arm. And who do you have with you here, Winter Soldier?"

No one, you thought, and then you yanked time backwards so forcefully you stumbled into the desk, your heart still racing. The copy sat at 57%.

You felt almost seasick with the rewind, but there wasn’t any time. "Keep going upstairs," you said into your earpiece.

"What?" Bucky said.

"I’m fine. Don’t come get me. Just keep going," you gritted through your teeth, trying to calm your breaths. 70%.

"Exit plan C, then," Sam said.

Bucky didn’t answer. You looked at your hands. There was a slight tremor to them, but nothing too bad. If you could get the nausea under control, you could probably make it past the cameras one more time.

You should’ve eaten more.

As soon as the flashdrive was done, you ripped it out and forced everything to a halt again. Your palms were sweaty as you hurried out of the office and in the direction of the staircase, your lungs burning. This didn’t feel like a good sign.

You stumbled over your damn heels and the noise returned for that moment you lost your concentration.

Not good enough.

Sweat pearled on your forehead as you and the universe held your breath again. You could feel your hold slipping with every second that wasn’t allowed to pass. Time was impatient with you.

A small crowd had assembled at the bottom of the stairs. As you closed in on them, you felt a jolt go through you and suddenly found yourself surrounded by people as time attempted to right itself again. Your nails dug into the skin of your palm so hard you could feel yourself draw blood.

It went quiet again and you moved through them, almost blindly. Everything seemed to be spinning.

Behind your shoulder, you could hear several people talking, interrupted only by the world stopping around them every now and then.

"—d’you—see that—"

"—could’ve—sworn there—”

And with time stumbling and flailing around in confusion, you made it out of the building and into the waiting cab.

chapter seven

thank you for reading!! you can follow my library blog @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications 💚

[dinozenkaiju]

[nastybuckybarnes]

In the Ring

Pairing: dbf!bucky x reader

Summary: Bucky takes your dad out boxing.

Warnings: Violence, Language, minor angst, fluff, age gap relationship and all that goes along with that, minor injuries

Word Count: 1.7K

A/n: Here's a little thingy thing for this series... im open to asks for this one as well as my inspiration for it is starting to fizzzzzzle up

~*~

Bucky steps into the ring, his heart hammering in his chest as he cracks his neck.

"Interesting choice for today," your dad says, securing his boxing gloves then bouncing up on the balls of his feet.

"Figured it's about time we got back into the ring."

In truth, there are a few things he wants to talk to your dad about, and he's expecting a good beating for them anyway. Might as well make sure they're wearing the proper protection.

"Glad you finally got a break from work, house's been real empty without you there. Think even (Y/n)'s startin to miss your ugly mug," your dad jokes.

Bucky swallows hard and nods, holding the pads tightly as your dad starts swinging slow and controlled.

"Yeah, that's uh… kinda one of the things I wanted to talk to you about."

Your dad pauses, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"You know how for the past few months I've been… well… happy?"

Your dad says nothing, only eyes him warily.

"It's because I've been seeing this woman. She's… gorgeous and fun and smart and an absolute spitfire."

He eases up a bit and starts throwing loose punches again.

"Yeah, when are you going to let me meet this chick, anyway?"

Bucky winces and takes a deep breath before finally spilling the beans.

"You already have."

Your dad's brows draw together as he tries to remember ever being introduced to his best friend's mystery woman.

"What's her name again?"

Here it is.

"(Y/n)."

He doesn't see the punch, only recognizes it when he stumbles to the ground with the side of his face throbbing.

"Are you serious right now?!" Your dad's chest is heaving, fury filling him as Bucky pushes to his feet, dodging another swing.

"That's my daughter! My baby girl! You're fucking sick!"

He swings again, chasing Bucky around the ring while the brunet tries to reason with him, holding his hands up in surrender.

"No! Hear me out! Please!"

"No!"

This time when your dad swings, Bucky ducks under his arm and kicks his legs out from under him, giving him a moment to try and defend himself.

"I love her!"

"Bullshit!" Your dad spits, pushing to his feet. "You have a new girl every week! I've had toothaches with more commitment than you!"

If the man wasn't actively trying to kill him, Bucky might laugh at that comment.

"When was the last time you heard me talk about another woman? Hmm? All this time it's been her! For the past year, the only person I've been talking about has been her! I tried going on a date with someone more… my age, and the whole time I couldn't get your daughter out of my head."

They stand on opposite sides of the ring, Bucky with his hands out ready to thwart another attack while your father slowly lowers his hands.

Has it really been a year? His daughter and his best friend have been having a secret relationship for a year?

"What are you saying?" He asks, panting hard.

"I'm in love with her, with your daughter. I love her with my entire heart to the point where I would bring you here to beat the shit out of me because I can't keep it from you anymore. You're my best friend, but you're also the father of the woman I love. I have a lot of respect for you, but even more for her, and I need you to know that your daughter… she's a woman that I could see myself marrying."

Your dad's fist is connecting with Bucky's face once more and the brunet curses, jumping out of reach again.

"In due time! I'm not asking for your blessing, fuck!"

Your dad stands there silently, glaring at Bucky for a long moment before sighing and rubbing the back of his glove over his forehead.

"That's my baby girl," he whispers, heart aching. Sure, he knew one day you'd find some jackass that doesn't deserve a fraction of your heart, but he never thought that jackass would be Bucky.

The same Bucky who was there when your mother died.

The same man who's been a rock throughout your and your father's lives.

"I know, believe me, I do. But you know me. I would never do anything to hurt her, not on purpose. All I want is for her to be happy, and for there to be no more secrets between us. I can see how much it hurts her to keep this from you and… it's not her responsibility to tell you. It's mine."

Slowly, Bucky lowers his hands and takes a step toward your dad, huffing out a sigh.

"If you want to hit me again, I understand. Fuck, I'd hit me too. And… I understand that my history… I haven't exactly been the type of man a woman's excited to tell her dad about. But the way your daughter… she makes me want to be that man. Be a better man than I've ever been. And this is where it starts."

Your dad groans, his face screwing up in disgust.

"So over the summer when you would check up on her while I was away on work… oh God, I don't even wanna know."

Bucky tries hard to bite back a grin at the memories, he really does, but his lips twitch upward regardless.

"Like I said, I love her with my whole heart. And I fucked up, so all I want is to try and fix this."

This catches your dad's interest.

"What did you do?"

Puffing out another breath, Bucky shakes his head and jumps on the balls of his feet to keep himself warm.

"I guess now's as good a time as ever to come clean."

Your dad rolls his eyes and raises his fists once more.

~*~

You touch up your makeup, looking over your appearance once more before heaving a sigh.

You've spent the last week or so locked up in your room like a hermit, and today it seems like your dad has finally had enough.

"Put on a nice dress - I'm tired of seeing you rot."

"We going out?" You asked, pushing yourself out of your bed and shoving your hair out of your face.

"Get dressed."

Adorning your body is a lovely deep blue dress, with a slit in the left leg and delicate straps criss-cross across your exposed back.

Finally satisfied with the way you've done yourself up, you exit your bedroom and carefully descend the stairs.

"You look gorgeous, kiddo," your dad says, a proud smile on his face.

You can't help but smile back, the smile fading when you notice he's still wearing his pyjamas.

A throat clears behind you and you whirl around, your throat tightening when you see the man behind you.

Bucky stands, tall and dashing in a tux, his hair slicked back and his beard neatly trimmed. He's got a nasty bruise on his right cheekbone that wraps to his eye, and for a moment you're concerned.

"You look stunning," he says softly, his eyes gentle.

You swallow hard and look between him and your dad as your heart begins to race.

"What's going on?"

Your dad wraps you tightly in his arms, sighing shakily.

"Have fun tonight, kiddo." He pulls away and cups your cheek, nothing but pride (and a few tears) in his eyes.

"And you," he points to Bucky, "Don't have her out too late."

He pulls you into one more tight hug, bringing his lips to your ear.

"We've got a lot to talk about tomorrow," he whispers.

You pull away and look between the two men rapidly, still not fully comprehending what's going on.

Bucky comes up behind you, gently taking your hand and spinning you to face him

"I'll take good care of her," he whispers. The words are said to your dad, but his eyes are focused on yours the whole time.

"You'd better."

You're all but walking around with your mouth agape as Bucky leads you outside.

"What… what's going on?" You finally ask when the door closes behind you.

"Your dad didn't want you to miss out on the banquet just because I fucked up. And if you don't want to go with me, I'll understand and so will he. I just… I miss you and I know how excited you were to go."

You feel a little breathless, and you're glad he's got your hand held tightly in his.

"You told him about it?" You ask quietly.

He gives you a soft smile and squeezes your hands tightly.

"Babygirl, I told him everything."

Your breath hitches and you feel tears well up in your eyes at his words.

"You… he knows…?"

Bucky nods.

Your fingers tug from his and he feels his stomach drop, only to settle when you trace over the bruise on his face.

"Is that where you got this?" You ask softly.

He chuckles and leans into your touch.

"Your dad's quick, I'll give him that. It took a while and a few punches but… he knows about us. About how I feel about you, how you make me want to be a better man. I want to take care of you and provide for you and I never want to hurt you the way I did. And he… he understands."

You stare up at him, eyes full of wonder and awe.

"You did all of that... for me?"

He presses a sweet kiss to the back of your hand and nods.

"I did. I did it for us. Because I'm tired of keeping you a secret. I'm tired of other guys lookin' at you like they can have you, and I'm tired of not being able to show you off. You're not an object, but you're mine. And, more, importantly, I'm yours. I always will be. You may not know it, but my heart is entirely yours. And if you want to throw it on the ground and give it a stomp, I wouldn't blame you."

You're shaking your head at him before he's finished speaking.

"I would never..." You trail off, looking into his eyes as tears well up in your own.

"I love you, sweetheart. I really do. And I'm sorry I've been so shit at showing it. But, if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life tryin' to prove it to you."

You can't help the small shy smile that pulls at your lips, and you duck your head to nod.

"Well, I guess I can't stop you from trying."

[brotherwtf]

13 Playing the song they always sang together to, and just crying. - for canon clegan, please :)

OH MY GOD BLUE SKIES FUCKING BLUE SKIES OH MY GOD IM GONNA BE SICK

now this can go one of two ways: Gale hearing this song after John died (they get together in this scenario) OR Gale hears this song when he decides to marry Marge and is instantly brought back to his time overseas with Bucky

okay but imagine this: Gale held Johns hand the entire time he was in hospice, claimed that his wife couldn't make it so that's why Gale was here instead, and John smiled until the end, smiled big and bright in a way that only John can, and Gale held his hand when he took his last dying breaths

Gale couldn't cope much after that, could barely turn on the radio, went into a depressive state for many many months after John had passed, he couldn't bring himself to function without his love, his light

he turned on the radio on the anniversary of Johns death and it cruelly, so cruelly, played Blue Skies right away, and Gale couldn't keep the tears in, sobbed uncontrollably thinking about their time in Thorpe Abbotts, remembered when he had some semblance of happiness through it all, and he sobs, can't help but sob as he holds onto John's dog tags around his neck, one of the last memories of him

thinking about Marge buying Sinatra's vinyl and putting it on, says it's a happy song and Gale deserves some happiness for all of the shit he went through and when Gale hears the opening notes he freezes, hands clenching by his sides because this. song is the opposite of happy, it's bringing up memories of a lover he cannot have, of horrible times overseas where he wasn't sure he was going to get caught sneaking away with Bucky, being disloyal to Marge with a man of all things, and he can't quite stop the tears because it is a happy song with happy memories, it's just that those memories were fleeting and now they're gone

he's taken back to Dyes 25th mission where John commandeered the microphone and sang horribly, and it felt like John was singing to Gale and Gale only, pointing at him and crooning at him and while Sinatra's vocals are 1000 times better than Johns, Gale almost wishes it was the out of tune vocals of his lover

and Marge, poor sweet Marge, would never understand, could never understand why the song has such a melancholy tone to it now, why he wants to break down and cry after hearing the words, because John was his blue sky, even in the shitty soup of Thorpe Abbotts John still shown so bright, and he can't have him just because he was a man

crying guys this is not good I'm curling up in the corner

[johnslittlespoon]

hi sorry i can't stop thinking about your leaving!bikeriders au aaaaaa

big tough intimidating gale and his sweet little puppy boyfriend is just *chefs kiss*

but also just the potential for the future of these two is driving me crazy

john's always been a little smaller than gale, or just the fact that he's so pretty thin and lanky makes him seem smaller in comparison

but the years go by and suddenly he's got a couple inches on gale and he's beefy as all hell

gales loves it

gale gushing to his biker buddies about his baby bucky and then this brick wall of a man walks up and theyre all like holy shit

and bucky never loses his puppy tendancies, he just kinda becomes like a big dog that doesn't know his size, draping himself all over gale and almost crushing him in the process

and also gale with a little white in his beard im going insane

au post | STOP IT THIS MADE ME SO <33 i loooove this (also it won't let me add a 'read more' without messing up the images so forgive this wall of text lol)

just the thought of them growing so close and their lives intertwining over the years, sorting through their issues, getting over every hurdle and going through so much together. gale in a suit bringing flowers to john's college graduation, john getting a part time job despite gale's protests because he wants to help out but also so they can take a celebratory vacation together when he finishes his exams :((

they meet when john looks like this sweet little thing in his second year of college, early 20s, shy and still growing into gangly limbs:

and then suddenly a couple years have passed and he's graduating and he looks like this twunky frat boy (gale realizes somewhere in the first few months of living together that john's vision is absolute dogshit and john's just been writing it off as a lack of focus lmfao so he forces him to an eye doctor):

and part of gale feels a little bit sad when john doesn't have to tilt his chin up to kiss him properly anymore because yk it's like watching a puppy grow up lol but mostly he's just. insane. about his boy. he's in love with his brain, and getting to see him grow confidence and become at peace with himself over the years only makes him more infatuated (and he'll be damned if he doesn't go a little crazy at the feeling of muscular thighs beneath his hands when he's got john pinned down) <3

gale's friends going a good chunk of time without seeing john during his last year of college because john's so busy juggling part time and cramming for his final exams, and when he finally does show up at the pub or biker club or whatever just before summer, there's jokes about "what the hell have you been feeding him, buck?" because that is not the lanky awkward pretty boy that had been hanging off of gale's arm the summer before. although john's absolutely still the same personality–wise, still crawling into gale's lap whenever he can, making gale carry him to bed, loving to sit on the floor by the couch between gale's legs so gale has to lean down to kiss him. :')

maybe john gets an internship after graduating and ends up working part time at the mechanic shop instead of his old part time since gale can give him whatever hours he needs to balance the internship and income (i'm pretty sure that's what i'll have gale's job be, running a car and bike shop, because yk it just checks out). john does a lot of heavy lifting and physical activity working there and bulks tf up and it makes him feel so much more confident in himself and gale would lose his mind at the way john's work shirts stretch across his broad shoulders hsdgdskhj !?!

and oh my god yes salt and pepper beard gale. john would go fucking feral over him, catching himself staring all the time, as if he doesn't already do that enough. they both become more and more attracted to each other as time goes on, like they keep waiting for the 'honeymoon' phase to end but it just doesn't, even through whatever conflicts and fights they go through, even once they fall into routine and domesticity– they're just as crazy about each other sigh.

thx. these two are gonna live rent free in my head forever. i love them so much and i haven't even written them yet fml. ALSO THANK U FOR UR OTHER ASK WITH ALL THE BIKER INFO!!! i will absolutely msg u if i have questions ur a life saverrrr omg. i screenshot and saved that ask to my drafting doc bc god knows i'm gonna need it SJKDJG ur awesome <33

[tonys-fav-bitch]

Plot Twist || Reader x Moonboys

Moon Knight AU

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 |

Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14

Word Count: Around 1k

Summary: in which your boss sends you to keep an eye on a possible avengers recruit. You’re tasked with following him, figuring out who he is, and if he’s good enough for the team. That’s it. But it’s never that simple.

Warnings: None (I don’t think?) it’s really just a story full of fluff. One swear!

YOU WALKED through the huge doors of the Avengers headquarters, a few of your teammates all lounging around on the beautiful day. You rolled your eyes at the group before clapping your hands together - startling one or two of them.

"Chop chop team, we have a briefing!" You exclaimed as you passed by Peter Parker who was sprawled out on a couch, launching pieces of popcorn into his mouth.

You reached down and stopped a piece as it flew through the air, snatching the food and popping it into your mouth. The kid gave a look of bewilderment as he sat up to face you.

"Hey! That was mine!" He frowned.

"Too bad kid, we got stuff to discuss." You laughed and pulled him up and gently pushed him towards the meeting doors.

The rest of the group slowly trailed after you, grumbling about the interruption. They all entered the large room made of glass walls, giving them a beautiful view of the woods that ran along the building. Each one took a seat, Peter doing it dramatically.

"I thought we had the day off?" Sam scowled as he draped himself on the table, a frown on his face.

"So did I, but then I got a call from Fury. . and here we are." You stated with a shrug and took a seat next to Peter who leaned over and flicked your ear.

You scowled at the boy and flicked him back, steeling another piece of popcorn that was in his hands. He let out a silent cry as he watched his snack disappear into your mouth. He began pelting you with the food out of desperation to get back at you. You grinned and caught a few in your mouth as the rest bounced off your body and fell to the floor.

"Are you two done?" Fury's voice brought the two out of their fight, you still grinning and Peter wide eyed.

"Uh - yea, sorry sir. She just -" Nick cut him off.

"Im sure she started it."

"Whoa, hey! Thats rude." You huffed to your boss, who gave you a look.

The man grabbed a large folder and flipped it open, tossing a small packet to each of the members sat at the table. You frowned, as you were the only person to not receive one. You leaned over Peter's shoulder and tried to read the file, only for him to hide it from your view, a grin on his face.

"I can't stand you." You muttered before falling back in your chair.

"I love you too." He replied as he skimmed the front of the packet.

"What about me? I didn't get one, so can I leave?" You raised an eyebrow at your boss, who was digging through his bag.

"You're not that lucky." He muttered.

"Ha!" Sam pointed at you as you gave him a scowl.

"Real mature." You huffed.

Sam grinned at you and flipped through the pages. You glanced to the others who were lost in the information Nick had given them. Bucky, Thor, and Clint didn't even react to their antics anymore, simply tuned it out.

"Here you go. This is your mission. They just needed filled in." Fury told you as he tossed a different file to you, it sliding across the smooth marble table.

You opened the folder while giving the man a suspicious look. You quickly read the words on the front 'Marc Spector - Steven Grant.' Below the name was a date of birth, location, and other valuable details about a person.

"Who's this?" You raised an eyebrow.

You gently picked up a picture of a man, who you assumed was the named person above - or one of them at least. You immediately noticed how handsome he was, his sharp features and his dark wavy hair. You bit at your lip as you studied him before Fury responded.

"This is Marc Spector. Some know him as Moon Knight."

"Moon Knight?" Bucky asked with confusion.

"I told you, man. Everybody's got a gimmick now." Sam shook his head as he leaned back in his chair. You chuckled at his words.

"Okay. . and what about this Moon dude?" You asked as you set the picture down, meeting Fury's gaze.

"He could be. . valuable. But we don't know the whole situation. He has an alias Steven Grant and possibly another. I want you to find out what he's about and what's going on." He told you bluntly.

"You want to see if he's Avenger's material, don't you?" You realized.

He simply shrugged and waved his hand, dismissing the group. As Peter stood to leave, he attempted to peak at your file - only for a hand to push his face away. He stumbled back and gave a half smile and frown to you.

"Beat it Spiderling." You scolded him, earning a glare from the name.

"Not cool." He huffed as he walked out of the room, about to shut the door behind him. Fury cleared his throat, making the kid stop.

"Pick up the damn popcorn later."

"Yes, sir." Peter replied in defeat before leaving.

You chuckled to yourself and got to your feet, grabbing the file from the table. You approached your boss, who was still at the head of the table, flipping through pages of information.

"So. . when do I leave?"

"As soon as possible."

☽ ♞ ☾

You sighed as you wandered around your room, trying to decide on what to pack. You were much too indecisive for this. Without hesitation, you tossed the piece of clothing you had in your hand to the floor and collapsed back onto the bed. You stared up at the ceiling and let out a sigh as you thought to the mission you were being sent on.

Recruiting an Avenger.

That was what Natasha use to do, but now it was up to you. You were pulled from your thoughts as another body laid next to yours. You turned your head to see Peter, now also staring up at the ceiling. A frown was plastered on his face.

"Why the sad look, kid?" You broke the silence.

"How long will you be gone?" He replied with a question of his own.

You sensed a hint of sadness in his voice and you turned your body to look at him. He glanced at you, his jaw tightened. You held your hand out for the kid, who gently wrapped his fingers around yours - still not speaking.

"Are you upset I'm leaving, Peter Parker?" You questioned him.

"Of course I am! You're my best friend. It's gonna be lonely here without you." He frowned.

"Wow, somewhere out there Ned's heart is breaking." You teased him, trying to lighten the mood.

"Shut up. You both are my best friends." He scrunched his nose at you, a shadow of a smile on his lips.

"I'll miss you too, Spiderboy. But you can always text and call me." You assured the boy as he sat up.

He followed your actions and sat up, playing with the zipper on his jacket. He thought for a moment before responding.

"Where are you gonna be going, again?"

"London."

[thegoldenarcher]

alrighty well i had too much to say in a reply so im making a lil post for ya!! @deafening-radio-silence thanks for asking btw :)

i had to write them out in my notes app bc the moment im asked anything i forget everything i know

sometimes i like to make clint Taller >:3 (instead of 6'3 i will put him at 6'5 for fun and games)

i don't actually know if this is canon and im pretty sure its a popular one but matt (murdock) is his lawyer

he doesn't keep very much in his wallet. a few bucks. his ID/license. matt's business card. an expired coupon to somewhere that he just,, doesn't throw out. maybe a picture of him n bucky who knows

this one is a little uhhh i guess different and i don't necessarily include it in Every story/setting/AU but it's fun to think about him not feeling any physical pain. just bc he's notorious for being able to take a punch and keep goin. so it's fun to write him pushing himself past his limits because he genuinely can't feel it :) (i love to make him suffer) (but also please god give him a break)

i heard recently alpine hates everyone except bucky... and clint (in my hc lol). imagining clint meeting her for the first time and scooping her up and she Doesn't hiss and scratch and try to squirm out of his arms? bucky would just have to stand and watch it happen...

it's actually canon but still, reminding y'all he's really good at video games because of hand/eye coordination

headcanon that he can cook. he loves food. Let Him Fucking Cook.

anyway yeah that's just ,,, some of it.,.,... i hope u like it :)

edit: SHIT i wanted to add a thing,,

clint? fucked ass nose. that bitch broke it too many times. it's a lil busted even when it's not busted if ya get what i mean LOL

[michelleleewise]

Could you write something that involves a reader finding out their pregnant unexpectedly and thinks Loki won't take it well, while Loki figures it out on his own (or someone tells him or something) and they both don't bring it up until the secret slips out on its own?

I dunno, its sounds like a sitcom episode, but maybe you can make it into something cute.

Sorry this took me an eternity!!!!! I got super busy, but here I am!!!!!! Thanks so so much for sending this to me!! I hope you like it!!! 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

====================================

Expecting

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: mentions of morning of morning sickness, mentions of pregnancy test, swearing, anxiety, stress, jumping to conclusions,some angst, fluff.

Sunmary: you've felt ill for the last week, not sure what the cause is, you decide to rule out the one thing your sure it can't be......

"Shit" You said to yourself, looking down at two lines mocking you. You stood up, pacing in the bathroom "shit, shit, shit." You said as you ran a hand through your hair. You put the test back in the box, heading back to your desk. You sat down, sliding the box discreetly in a drawer as you sighed, laying you head on your desk. "Shiiiiiit." You sighed "well your a barrel of sunshine aren't you?" You heard, your head shooting up seeing Bucky "Oh, hey what are you doing here?" You asked looking at him. "Tony wanted me to drop these off, you ok?" He asked handing you some files.

"Yes! Yes I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? What makes you think somethings wrong?" You rushed out as he stared at you. "I think you need to cut out the caffeine doll." He said sitting down. "Everything ok with Loki?" He asked watching you "why wouldn't we be?" You rushed "why do you keep answering my questions with questions?" He asked raising an eyebrow as you sighed. "Loki and I are good, great actually." You sighed looking down. "Then..." he waved his hand. "I....im...." you stared as he watched you, realization hitting him "really!?" He asked leaning forward.

"Shhhh. Keep it down." You said looking around. "What did he say?" He asked smiling "he doesn't know" You said looking at him "why haven't you told him?" He asked "because, we've only been together a year, we don't even live together! We've never even talked about kids. W...what if he doesn't want them, what if he...leaves me?" You said fidgeting with your hands "please, He loves you to death, he won't leave you. Just talk to him, it'll be ok." He said as he stood up.

Your thoughts ran rampant the rest of the day. How was he going to react? Was he going to hate you? "Are you ready darling?" You heard Loki, throwing your pencil across the room. "You ok love? You seem jumpy." He said picking up your pencil. "I..I'm fine, everything's fine. Let's go." You said jumping up walking to the door. "Shit. I forgot my keys in my desk." You sighed turning around. "You go ahead. I'll grab them." He said kissing your forehead. You nodded heading out the door as Loki went to your desk, grabbing your keys as the box caught his eye.

He looked up seeing no one was watching as he opened the box, seeing the test. He scanned the box, looking back at the test as his eyes widened "no, it can't be." He whispered, looking over the box again. He hurried and put it back as he closed the drawer, making his way to the door. "A baby, we're gonna have a baby." He whispered to himself smiling as he opened the door following you.

You sat down at the restaurant, sipping your water "loki, how do you feel about kids?" You asked looking at him. "Well, I'd never really thought about it, but I would love to have a family, why?" He asked watching you "just curious." You said looking down. "How do you feel about it." He asked "Well, I'm not against it, but I mean....I......I don't know I guess eventually I would." You said nervously, you felt like your brain was disconnected from your mouth, nothing was making sense. "You know, I'm kinda tired, I think im just gonna head home." You said getting up. "Would you like me to come with you?" He asked "No, no I'm fine." You urged as you grabbed your purse "I'll call you tomorrow." You said running out of the restaurant.

You made it home, seeing Loki had tried calling several times. "What am I going to do." You sighed flopping on the couch. You laid down, pulling the blanket up you closed your eyes, trying to forget today. You woke up a few hours later, rushing to the bathroom, losing everything you had eaten. You sat back against the wall, rubbing your stomach "your gonna be hard on mommy aren't you?" You whispered looking down. You crawled back to the living room, grabbing your phone you called the tower, telling them you wouldn't be in the next day before putting it on silent as you climbed in bed to attempt to sleep.

You heard a knock on the door, as you slowly lifted your head. "Whose there?" You called out laying your head back down closing your eyes. You felt a cold hand on your forehead making you sigh. You opened your eyes seeing Loki's concerned face. "Darling, are you alright?" He asked "I'm just tired, I'm fine." You said pressing your head to his hand. I've tried calling several times. Why haven't you answered?" He asked sitting down. "I put my phone on silent last night after I called work." You said rolling over. "Love that was two days ago." He said as you looked at him. "Come on, your sweating to death, you need a shower and I'm taking you to Bruce." He said pulling the blankets back. "But Loki I don't want.." you started "your going, now come on, I'll help you." He said picking you up.

You made it to the tower as Loki carried you bridal style to Bruce's office. "What's going on?" He asked as Loki layed you down. "She has slept for two days, she's been ill, and sweating profusely." He said pushing your hair back. "Ok, let's run some tests, Loki you go sit over there." He said as a nurse came over to look your over. "Y/n, I finished all your tests, I think you know what I found." He said looking at you as you nodded. "I'll send him over, you need to talk to him. This may be harded on you because of his heritage." He said rubbing your shoulder.

Loki walked over, kissing your forehead "did he tell you anything?" You asked as he shook his head "no, he said I needed to hear it from you." He said pulling a chair up, holding your hand. "Loki..." you said clearing your throat "i....I'm pregant." You said looking at him. "I totally understand if you want to leave, or break up with me, I just..." you rambled as Loki's hand covered your mouth "You think I would leave you?" He asked pulling his hand back. "I don't know, we never talked about kids, and I didn't even know if you wanted kids." You fidgeted with your hands. "I'm not going anywhere y/n." He said standing up.

"Bruce thinks that maybe your heritage, if the baby is a frost giant, that that may be making things harder." You said looking up at him. "Well, I may have to stay with you all the time to take care of you then." He smiled as he kissed your forehead. "I will speak with Tony about your condition. I don't want you losing your job." He said "t..thank you Loki" you smiled up at him, feeling a tear fall. "No, thank you darling, you two are the best things that ever happened to me." He smiled rubbing your belly. "I love you Loki." You said pulling him down to you "and I love you, both of you." He said kissing you deeply.

You couldn't wait to start a family with him...

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

@vbecker10 @high-functioning-lokipath @buttercupbestie @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lonadane @mcufan72 @daggers-and-mischief @lily-sinclair-2006 @lokisninerealms @lokiprompts @limiworld @mochie85 @sinsandguilt @chickencouncilrep @lulubelle814 @midnights-ramblings @commanding-officer @xorpsbane @waiting-for-cas-to-save-me @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lokixryss @froggiecky @intoxicatinginsanity @huntress-artemiss @sekaishell @slpnbty2001 @your-taste-on-my-lips @usagishira @lokis-coffee221 @kats72

[buckyhoney-library]

nsfw alphabet, b.b

A/N: so sorry it took so long! hope you enjoy! sebastians & nomad!steve should be out sometime this week(end)!

reblogs/likes/feedback are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged

However, do NOT repost/steal ANY of my fics on my blog!

Warnings: 18+, language, smutty thoughts, sorry for any missed typos!

chris evans nsfw alphabet

A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex)

bucky takes aftercare so seriously! he makes sure that you have everything that you need and you're taken care of first. showering you in praises, holding you close, getting you water or snacks- he is at your beck and call.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part on themselves and on their partner)

thighs. thighs. thighs. He loves laying between them with his head resting on your stomach. His fingers tracing patterns on your skin- peppering kisses on the inside. bucky's arms are hooked around them while he is giving you head, rubbing small circles on the outside.

bucky has grown to love his vibranium arm, because of how much you love it. he has changed arm usage from a weapon to a useful tool in every situation. being able to cool it and playing with temperatures, pinning you down- making sure you go nowhere- or even being able to cause it to vibrate.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

he loves to paint with his cum. as much as he LOVES to cum inside you and make you hold it- there is something so pretty with his cum plastered on your back or on your tummy. "you look so pretty with my cum on your thighs," bucky is especially fond of watching it drip down your breasts or leak down your thighs. bucky just stares in awe of how it glistens against your skin.

D = Dirty Secret (What do they secretly want)

he wants you to praise him. bucky lives off of praise and when you whimper how good he's making you feel or how he's such a good boy? it throws him over the edge, encouraging him to go faster and harder. he'll never ask for them, but when you start hyping him up, fuck he enters a state of nirvana.

E = Experience (Do they know what they are doing?)

1940's bucky as we all know was very experienced but after eighty years of nothing? he needs a little help regaining his confidence, but man will he practice and have no problems asking for help. he'd be a little embarrassed of cumming early or not being able to satisfy like he used too, but bucky watches porn and experiments like no tomorrow, catching up on all the new toys/techniques/positions etc.

F = Favorite Position (Self-explanatory)

bucky's favorite position would be cowgirl or where you're laying on your side, so he could hold you. cowgirl because he gets the perfect view of your body and everything about it.

with an honorable mention of missionary- but missionary with your legs in the air spread for all can see. if he's feeling a little spicy, he'll press on your lower abdomen, adding extra pressure.

G = Goofy (Are they serious during sex or goofy

BOTH. There is a time and a place for serious, rough, passionate sex (and boy does he enjoy that), but for the most part, Bucky wants you to feel good and he wants to learn- which means there will be some mishaps and failed moments, but he loves those moments just the same.

H = Hair (Are they well-groomed?)

he is well kept and clean. bucky isn't hairless, but he does make sure that everything is trimmed up and clean.

J = Jack Off (Do they masturbate?)

bucky only does when you're away or he's gone for a mission. when you're home, he has no problem telling you he's in the mood. when he does masturbate, it is to your pictures/videos you've sent or through facetime/phone calls. he doesn't watch porn unless that is the only option or he is looking for new things to try with you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

oh boy does he have loads of kinks! bucky loves praise (receiving or giving)! during the more passionate and rough sessions, he is into degrading (but not too crazy) innocence kink. if you have met after his second sexual awakening? god, how he loves to ruin you. he loves the idea that he gets to teach you and that you're at his mercy. ice play/warming (idk what the word is) he loves when you call him sarg does this man have a filthy sarcastic mouth. dirty remarks of comments that leave his mouth- god, it's enough to you off in seconds.

L = Location (Favorite place to do it)

he is a traditional man at heart, so he loves the bedroom. bucky gets to be as loud as chooses and go as long as he wants without the fear of someone walking in or interrupting.

M = Motivation (What turns them on or gets them going?)

leggings. jeans. short shorts- anything that enhances your thighs or when you shoot back firey/witty comments matching his energy. The more traditional turn on's as well, suggestive comments, touching his chest letting it fall to his belt, lingering kisses on his lips and neck. "it's like you're begging me to fuck you silly,"

N = No (Something they will not do. Turnoffs.)

nothing with bodily fluids (other than saliva or cum) & i don't think he'd be fond of being too open in public- he's a private guy, but he doesn't mind the simple pda and light touches.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skills, etc.)

okay let me tell you- bucky loves getting head. your lips make him cum faster than anything else. "open wide, darling" he loves the ability to do it virtually anywhere (privately of course) and the quick clean up-but he mostly loves watching you take his length completely, hitting the back of your throat. "fuck, such a good girl taking all of me," hearing you moan into him and gag makes him go FERAL. bucky isn't a head pusher, but he does grip your hair.

bucky does love going down on you too. his cock throbs at the sight of your legs shaking and squirming. the sounds you make encourage him more, but he doesn't stop when you cum- he licks up every last drop of you. "im not stopping, so i'd stop moving if i were you," he'll occasionally pop his head up to make sure that he's doing everything right and you're enjoying yourself- the last thing he wants is for you to fake it (which only happened when he first re-entered the dating world)

P = Pace (Are they fast or rough? Or slow and sensual?)

there is a time and place for everything. bucky loves sensual sex because he feels the most connected to you and he has been without physical/emotional connection for so long that it's become a must. it is also where he feels the most control and the best, when he can be 100% vulnerable- something never thought he could do.

fast and rough is for those needy moments where he can't get his hands off of you- complete feral mode. when you've been teasing him relentlessly and he needs to remind you who's in charge. those nights are when the kinkiest of kinks come to play.

Q = Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than regular sex)

quickies are reserved for dinner parties, group outings, etc. where you look too good and he can't keep his hands off of you. "i wanna see if you taste as good as you look". quickies usually consist of fast rough sex that leaves bruises or marks. they also mainly consist of giving/receiving head.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

oh does he! he has almost ninety years of sex trends/toys/etc to catch up on. it will be the middle of the night and you'd be fast asleep only to be woken up by him shaking your arm and going "baby, we have to try this!"

bucky isn't a risk-taker in the sense of public and potentially getting caught, he is a risk-taker in the sense that he is willing to try anything once.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go? How long do they last?)

bub is a super-soldier. his stamina outlasts yours by HOURS. you'd be panting and lying sideways and bucky would be ready for the next round and you'd have to tap out. he would chuckle and hold you, teasing you about how you can't last. "can't handle this cock? i thought you said you could go all night?"

T = Toys (Do they own or use toys on themselves or partners?)

bucky has a whole drawer dedicated to the greatest quality toys. "only the best for you, dollface." he loves seeing how far he can push you with the vibrators. tying the vibrator to your clit and watching you be sent over the moon. bucky wouldn't be too crazy about using toys on himself, but he isn't opposed to being handcuffed (or pegged)

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

BIGGEST TEASE in the galaxy. Touching you, grazing your heat, kissing your neck, rubbing the inside of your thigh, (stuffing a vibrator inside you while you're on the phone), or whispering dirty things in your ear- but God forbid if you tease him back. there will be hell to pay if you try teasing him back. "you better rethink your next move, darling," "i think you forgot who's allowed to tease who."

V = Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

bucky is pretty quiet, with the exceptions of grunts and whimpers. His mouth is filthy and he dirty talks like there is no tomorrow! he is also a cocky little shit and sarcastic- which doesn't stop in the bedroom. "your cunt feel so good around me," "open your eyes, i want you to watch as i ruin you" "look at you, you're soaked for me"

W = Wildcard (Random headcanon for your character)

cockwarming. babe lives for cockwarming. early morning lazy sex, but too lazy to pull out of you. you'd be laying on your side with your leg over his, with his cock buried inside of you. "no, honey, just stay" he would mumble with his head resting in the cook of your neck, placing small kisses on your neck, but falling back asleep.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

baby, that serum did wonders. bucky is packing that seven to eighter. his cock would poke through your tummy and he won't stop talking about it for weeks.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

HIGH. VERY HIGH. he is ready whenever and wherever the time calls.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly do they fall asleep afterward?)

bucky's stamina is so high that he probably is starving. he would perform aftercare for you, but once you'd have cared for- he is standing naked in the kitchen making a sandwich.

[killerqueenfan]

Coming Home 

Pairing: Bucky x female reader

Summary: Five years after the fight with Thanos Bucky finally comes home to you.

This is my first time posting any of my writing on here, I know it's not that great but I'm proud of it :)

..................................................................................................................................................

Five years,  that's how long it's been since you last heard his voice, felt his touch and been able to get a full night's rest. That’s supposed to change today or so you all hoped. You remember the day Steve came to talk to you about Tony’s newest discovery. You couldn't believe what you were hearing and you couldn't get your hopes up. If it was just you it would have been different but you have to worry about the person in the other room. The most important person in your life, your son James. 

When Steve showed up that day for what you thought was just a regular visit to you and his nephew, you knew something was going on the moment you saw him. He greeted you like he always did with a hug and a kiss on your cheek but he seemed nervous. “What's going on Steve?” you had asked him as soon as he pulled away. “Can't I just come and visit with two of my favorite people y/n? Where is the little guy anyway?” he said with a smile.  “You know I can tell something is up right, you're nervous about something” you raised your eyebrow up. “Uncle Steve!” James yelled as he came barreling around the corner and smashed right into Steve's arms. You laughed at your son as he knocked Captain America himself over, or so your son thought. “Hey J man! Have you been working out?” , Steve says to James while lifting him in the air. 

Your son squirmed in Steve's arms while laughing, “No Uncle Steve I'm a Super Soldier like you and Daddy, Im super strong!” You and Steve start laughing at the 4 and a half year olds attempt to give his best mean face to show how serious he was. You loved days like this when Steve would visit and they would play and goof around, James needed it, and so did you. He would visit often to keep you company and to help with his nephew as much as he could. Some visits he would bring Aunt Natasha along so you and your friend could catch up. You used to be an Avenger fighting right alongside your family but that all changed after Thanos, after you lost the love of your life and knew you would be raising your child alone. But your family made sure you were never alone through any of it and every one of them absolutely loved the littlest member of the family. 

“Hey J man why don't you go set up your toys and I’ll be there in a minute, I need to talk to your Mom first” Steve set James on his feet after flying him around for a bit. “Can we play Avengers?” your son's favorite thing to play because he knew he would get to hear stories about all of your friends and he thought Captain America and his Avengers were the best. And Steve loved playing with him and telling these stories, even if Spider Man was James favorite one to play. “Of course we can kido” James' eyes lit up as he ran past Steve to head to his room to get set up. “He never gets tired of hearing stories does he?” Steve askes with a sad smile on his face. “No he doesn't, he loves hearing about everyone, you guys are all his heros, especially Bucky. He loves to hear stories about his Father.” you said while trying to hold back your tears. James never met his Father but he loved him so much and wanted to hear everything about him that he could get out of you and Steve. 

“What's going on Steve? You never send James to his room like this to talk to me, you're making me nervous” you started pacing around your living room. Steve walked up to you and placed his hands on your shoulders. “We think we found a way to bring them back, to bring them all back” Your breath hitched in your throat and your legs felt weak, you were sure if Steve didn't have ahold of your arms you would have hit the floor. Steve led you over to the couch and sat you down next to him, “What do you mean bring them back? Thanos used the snap and then destroyed the stones. How could you bring them back?” You were starting to feel light headed and you were trying your best not to cry. Steve then went on to explain how Tony figured out time travel and the plan to go back and get the stones and use the snap to bring them all back. You had a hard time wrapping your head around it but you believed in your family and knew if anyone could do it they could. Steve stayed late that night with you and James, keeping your son busy while you made dinner and had time to think about everything, about the possibility of your Bucky coming home. When Steve left that night after putting James to bed he hugged you and told you “This will work y/n, I know it will. I will bring Bucky back to you and to his son” You hugged him a little tighter and told him to be safe and tell everyone else the same and that you loved them all, “you know I wish I could help you guys but I…” “You can't leave James, y/n we know and we would never ask you to, I need you here and to keep that little man and yourself safe and be ready to have your family back” Steve told you with a smile, you wiped the tears from your eyes and smiled back. “I will call you when it's over y/n!” and with those last words he headed to his car and you closed your front door. You barely made it back to your couch before a sob racked through your body so hard you couldn't catch your breath. When you finally made it to your room that night, you cried yourself to sleep.

“Mommy?” James' voice startled you as you stood at the stove cooking dinner. “Yeah Sweetheart?” you turned to your son with a smile on your face that did not reach your eyes but he was too young to notice. “When is Uncle Steve and Aunt Nat coming over again? I miss them.” He asks you and you notice his Captain America and Spider Man action figures held tight in his hands. You smiled at your son and you told him “They will come over soon baby, they are busy right now. But you know they love you and can't stay away from you for long”. You walked over to your son and ruffled his hair up. “Are they fighting bad guys again?” James asked while looking up at you with his big blue eyes that matched his fathers completely. Your heart sank at his question, he was so young, you hated that he knew so much about the bad guys in the world. The bad guys that took his family away from home for weeks at a time, the bad guys that took his Daddy away from him. You knelt down in front of your son “yeah baby they are, but they will be back soon”, you hoped anyway. Your son hugged you then, knowing you had a sad look in your eyes. James was so smart for his age and understood so much, and cared so much, he was just like his father. “Will Uncle Steve bring Daddy home?” Your breath caught in your throat and tears came to your eyes while you held your son a little tighter. “Oh sweetheart, I don't…” The sound of your phone ringing cut you off mid sentence and you knew who it was but you were frozen. You just looked at your phone sitting on the counter, you couldn't bring yourself to answer it, you didn't want to know what he would tell you. You couldn't hear it didn't work, that they couldn't bring them back, couldn't bring him back. You don't think you could get through it. You didn't realize that as you were frozen on the floor of your kitchen your son had wiggled his way out of your hold and grabbed your phone. “Hi Uncle Steve, yeah Mommy is here, she's sitting on the floor. I think she's broken” your son’s giggle snapped you out of it and you jumped to your feet reaching for your phone in James hands. “Steve….” you held your breath while you were waiting for him to say something, anything. “We got them back y/n, Bucky is back” You fell back down to your knees from your legs feeling so weak and you started to cry, but even through your happiness and shock you could tell Steve wasn't telling you something. “What happened Steve, what's wrong?” you were surprised by how strong your voice sounds, you definitely didn't feel it. “Don’t worry about that right now y/n, just focus on the good. Buck is coming home to you and James.”

You don't know how you got where you were but you were in your car with your son on your way to Tony and Pepper’s house. The last hour has been a blur and all you know is that Steve said a few people were going over to Tony’s house because the compound was destroyed. You only told James that you were going to see Steve and a few friends, you didn’t want to get your son’s hopes up about meeting his father when you couldn’t believe it yourself. To say you were nervous was an understatement, you haven't seen him in five years. You knew for him it was just a blink of an eye and he wouldn't have changed since the last time you saw him but you have changed. You have aged five years and you had a child, you were different. Would he still love you, would he still want you, would he be happy with having a child, these were all questions running through your mind. But you knew deep down he would still be your Bucky and still love you and will love his son, but you couldn't help but be scared. 

Tony didn't live far from you, which you were grateful for, and before you knew it you were pulling up the long drive. As soon as the car was in park James was ready to get out of the car and see his Uncle, but you moved slower than normal getting him out of his carseat. You saw a few people outside and you were already ready to break down in tears seeing some of your friends who vanished in the blip. You greeted Peter, Wanda and Clint out on the porch with hugs and tears. Clint had disappeared after his family vanished so this was the first time seeing him in five years too. You introduced your son to all of them and James was so excited to meet Spiderman, his favorite superhero despite Steve's protest, and Peter was more than happy to talk to him. You asked Peter if maybe he could keep James busy while you went inside to find Steve and Bucky, and of course Peter was happy to help and James wouldn't leave his side yet even if you tried. Wanda pulled you aside and told you what happened and the loss of Nat and Tony and you were heartbroken. You have been close with them for years, they were your family, Nat was one of your best friends. As you were wiping your tears you heard a familiar voice coming from the kitchen and you couldn’t breath. Wanda noticed and grabbed you by the arms, “y/n it's ok, it's just Bucky, he hasn't stopped asking Steve about you since the fight ended”. Wanda gave you a warm smile and you nodded your head and walked towards the kitchen. When you rounded the corner you could see Sam, Pepper, Steve and then right in between them was your Bucky. He looked the exact same as the day he vanished and looked as handsome as ever. Tears were running down your face and you couldn’t stop the sob that escaped your lips. Every set of eyes turned to you but all you could see was one set, one set of the most beautiful steel blue eyes you have ever seen. “Bucky” you could only say in a whisper, and he was across the room in an instant with his arms wrapped around you in a tight hold. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his around your waist with his face buried in your neck. You were shaking and Bucky only held you tighter, “I missed you so much Buck, I can’t believe you're here, your home”. “I missed you too sweetheart, Im here, I got you, Im home” He pulled away first but just enough to look at you, “Still as beautiful as ever”. You giggled at the comment, “and you're just as handsome as always”. You didn't notice you were the only two left in the kitchen, everyone else must have left to give you some privacy, you wanted to remember to find Pepper and let her know if she needed anything she could ask you. You were watching Bucky and his eyes kept going from your eyes to your lips and back again, “Just kiss me already Buck”. “You don't need to tell me twice Doll” and with that smirk you fell in love with his lips were on yours. It was like no time had passed, his lips molded to yours perfectly and they took your breath away. You tightened your hold around his neck and ran your fingers through his hair, and when you pulled slightly you heard a beautiful moan escape his lips, which made you smile. “I love you Buck”, “I love you too sweetheart”. 

You would have kept on going in your own little bubble if not for a squeal and laughing from a little voice from the front porch “Uncle Steve put me down!” You pulled away from Bucky “Uncle Steve? Who is he with out there?”, he asked with a laugh but as soon as he locked eyes with you he froze. “Buck...when the blip happened I was...ummm I was pregnant”, you said while trying to avoid his eyes. You were scared of his reaction, you were afraid he wouldn't want this, then what would you do. Before your mind had much time to think about it you felt his fingers on your chin trying to get you to look at him. When you looked up you were met with watery blue eyes and a smile on his face. “We have a child? I'm a father?”, he whispered to you. “Yeah baby we have a four year old son, James Steven Barnes and he is so much like you”, you said to him while wiping his tears away with your thumbs. “He loves his Uncle Steve and he loves hearing stories about you two when you were young” you told him with a smile on his face. You took a hold of his hand and kissed him one more time. When you pulled away, “You want to meet him?” All Bucky could do was nod his head, but you could see the fear in his eyes and you knew him well enough to know exactly what his worry was about. “Buck look at me” you waited until his eyes slowly met yours while you cupped his cheek in your hand, “James knows about your arm and he doesn't know anything about the Winter Soldier being a bad guy or any of that, he just knows you lost your arm in a fall and that it saved your life. Your son asks about you every day and he loves you, I promise.” Bucky’s eyes stayed locked with yours and you could see his nerves calming down and with a smile he said “Okay let's go get our son.”

With Bucky's hand in yours you led the way to the front porch where Steve and Peter were running after your son in the yard. Steve picked up your son and was ‘flying’ him around in his arms to get away from Peter. “James”, you yelled for your son with a lightness to your voice and he looked up at you. “Hi Mama Uncle Steve was just….Daddy!!” James yelled and squirmed his way out of Steve’s arms and ran up onto the porch and right into Bucky’s arms, he had knelt down to be at his level. Your heart swelled at the sight of your two favorite people finally together at last. You could tell Bucky was trying not to cry as your son had his little arms wrapped around his neck and looked like he never wanted to let go. But your four year old let go first and kissed his father on the cheek, “are you going to have to go away again?” Jame’s little voice broke your heart and you could tell it broke Bucky’s too. “No I’m not going anywhere buddy, I’m coming home with you and Mommy”, Bucky said while looking up at you with a smile. You smiled back at him and then looked over your shoulder at Steve and he was smiling as well. “Good! Now will you play Avengers with me and Peter and Uncle Steve?” Jame’s was already trying to get back down to run and you all laughed at how carefree he was. “Of course I will but you will have to show me how to play”, Bucky said while standing up to follow his son back into the yard but paused in front of you for a quick kiss to your lips “He's amazing y/n, you are amazing” he said before going back for another kiss. “Daddddyyyy” your son whined, he was ready to play with his Dad for the first time and he didn't want to wait another minute. “I already love hearing that” he whispered to you and then he took off running after your son. You couldn't help but laugh at the site in front of you, two super soldiers and a teenager running after a little four year old, but you loved it. 

You had only stayed on the porch for a few minutes before you joined them in the yard and for a moment you tried to forget about the loss of two of your good friends and family members and enjoyed having the love of your life back and Peter back  who is like a little brother to you. You were happy, you had your family back.  After about another hour your little soldier was yawing, “Hey James why don't we take Daddy home and let poor Uncle Steve and Peter get home”, you laughed at the frown on his face but then Bucky picked him up and held him and James snuggled right into Bucky’s arms. You said your goodbyes to Steve and Peter with plans of an upcoming play date with James, while Bucky was putting your sleeping son into the car. As Bucky shut the door he caught your wrist in his hand and pulled you close to him and kissed you, “Marry me?” he mumbled against your lips. You pulled away from him just enough to look into his eyes “What did you say?” you asked with a smile playing on your lips. “Marry me, I wanted to ask you before the fight but I didn't want you to think that's why I was asking. I don't have a ring or anything yet but I'm just so happy to have you and James and I don't want to waste anymore time and…” “Yes", you interrupted his rambling. “Of course I will marry you! I love you, you are it for me Buck” He pulled you close for another kiss and you could feel him smiling against your lips. “Let's go home doll" 

[snowstark]

64 with winterspider please? 🥺

64. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

alright alright cool also i made it so that peter and bucky are just kind of fuck buddies/roommates until... now <3

"Where the hell have you been?"

Peter jumped and nearly toppled over at the sound of Bucky's voice, ringing out loud and sharp in the quiet, dark apartment. "Buck?" he slurred, squinting almost comically. "You—You still up?"

"I sure am." Bucky stepped through the doorframe to stand in front of Peter, and Peter's mouth went dry at the dimly lit sight. Despite the fact that it was one in the morning, Bucky was still dressed in a black tank top, black cargo pants, and combat boots, and his hair was tied into a tight bun on top of his head. In other words, Peter's favourite look on him.

Despite the fact that they were roommates, Peter didn’t see him dressed like that often. Bucky wore dark hues, but this—this was different. His favourite.

And why was it his favourite? Because Bucky always wore that outfit whenever he was going to fuck Peter hard enough that he saw stars.

So. This was the game they were playing tonight, then. Peter’s heart skipped a beat with excitement and anticipation.

“You drank, didn't you?" Bucky's sharp words pulled him out of his drooling session. "God, look at'chu, baby. Can't even hold yourself steady, like a goddamn newborn calf."

Bucky's words made him realize that he was unsteady on his feet, swaying uneasily from side to side, like he was going to collapse to his knees any second.

That sounded tempting, too, he wasn't gonna lie. Dropping to his knees there and then and reaching up to undo the zipper on Bucky's pants, to nuzzle his cock before eagerly taking it into his mouth, wet and sloppy—

"Peter!"

Peter flinched and he dragged his eyes up to Bucky's face. "Yessir?"

Bucky eyed him for a few moments, gaze heavy, then chuckled, but it was mean. Peter shivered. “You goin’ cock-stupid on me already, sugar?” he drawled, coming closer and gripping Peter’s chin with two fingers.

Peter shivered at the words, feeling his gut twist and burn with humiliation, and he shook his head. “N—”

“Don’t lie to me,” Bucky said darkly. He turned Peter’s head this way and that, making his cheeks flush a darker shade of red. “It ain’t nice to lie. Not when you’re like this.” He brushed his thumb over a light mark on his neck, a hickey. “What the fuck is this?” The words were laced with concern, anger, and—and a sense of possessiveness.

Peter swallowed hard over the sudden lump in his throat. “Buck—”

“Did he fucking touch you?” Bucky’s eyes bored into his, dark and heavy. “Did he? Did he hurt you? I’ll kill ‘im, you know I will, sugar.”

Peter mutely shook his head. “Didn’t hurt me,” he said slowly. “Asked for it. I did.”

Bucky twitched. “You wanted some dick, you could’a just come right home and asked me for some.”

Peter pulled back. “‘cause you’ll always provide?” he asked wearily. “Thought you were asleep.”

“You know I don’t sleep until you come home.” Bucky let his hand fall down to his side. “Gotta make sure you’re safe. I keep stuff that’s mine safe.”

Peter wet his dry lips, letting his eyes roam over Bucky’s body again, not even attempting to hide it. “‘m yours?”

Bucky gave a slight nod. “Mine.”

Peter hesitated. He paused, and then— “Thought we were just something casual.” He suddenly felt a lot more sober.

Bucky looked uncomfortable for the first time that night. “We were.”

Peter sidled closer, then let a hand press against Bucky’s chest lightly. He felt the light thumping of Bucky’s chest against his palm. “And when did that change?”

Bucky tilted his chin back up, and Peter let him. “Right now.” And he kissed Peter, hard, and Peter let him. Pushed right into it, in fact. Needed it. Wanted to feel Bucky. Wanted to give in.

When Bucky pulled back, he followed, unable to help himself, and heard Bucky chuckle. He let his eyes flutter back open and he looked up at the man.

"Taste so sweet, sugar," Bucky murmured, gripping him by the hips and manhandling him over to the bed. He pushed Peter onto it, gently but firmly, and Peter fell with a soft 'oomph.' He felt a hand crack down on his ass and he yelped, flushing when it faded into a moan. "What, you want more?" He could hear the smirk in Bucky's words. "All you gotta do is ask for it."

Peter shivered, and his hips picked up. He wanted to rip his clothes off, wanted to feel Bucky— "Please."

"Mm, you can do better," Bucky breathed, but despite his words, Peter heard the telltale sound of rustling that indicated that Bucky was yanking off his pants in favour of slicking up his cock. "Lemme hear you, pretty."

"Please!" Peter gasped, jerking when Bucky effortlessly lifted his hips up with a hand to yank down his pants and boxers with another. "Please, oh my god, I need—oh, fuck—"

Bucky laughed, and it was mean. “‘Please.’ Baby, you don’t even know what you want," he mocked, and cracked his hand down again in the same spot, making heat bloom in Peter's cheek.

Gasping, Peter pressed his face against the sheets, practically gagging for it already. "Pleasepleaseplease, Bucky, you said I was yours, please, gotta show me, can't—"

"Too silly to know otherwise, like some dumb puppy I picked up off the streets and brought home?" Bucky snorted. "I gotcha, doll. I gotcha. I'll give you what you need." He bent down, pressed a kiss to his ass cheek, reached up to brush the pad of his thumb against the mark on his neck again, and murmured, "I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole."

There was a reason this was his favourite outfit on Bucky.

send me a smut prompt!

[buckyjamess-archive]

𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 ❁ 𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼

chapter seventeen • a/n: thank the sudden burst of inspiration for these chapters coming out so fast. Feedback is appreciated! • wordcount: 1.5k+ • warnings: kids, parenthood, nothing more?

summary

going through  rough years after losing your husband, you try to raise your daughter the best you can. With the help from the wilson's you make the best of it but the road is bumpy when sam introduces you to his friend.

masterlist

F O U R M O N T H S L A T E R

"I'm running a little late today, so I won't be home in time but I asked Steve to be there to open up–" a heavy sigh "for the love of god, try to be nice buck, that's all I'm asking, okay? Also, can you let me know if you're staying for dinner so I can pick up something extra on my way back– thank you. Okay..bye, love you." 

love you. Bucky never expected to keep hearing those words falling from your lips but he does– after every call, every voicemail, every goodbye and see you soon. It makes him smile yet he doesn't deserve those two words. 

you had assured him that morning after that you would always love him no matter what; that he's still the father of yet another gift in your life. The best months of your life after a shit show of years prior– you'd always love Bucky even if he broke your heart in a million pieces, he seemed to be the only one to put it back together..or steve. Steve did a pretty good job of glueing shattered parts of your heart back together.

It angered bucky. Coincidentally; Steve rogers marriage came to an end not two weeks after you'd moved into your own little place with the kids and for a split second Bucky had wondered if nothing ever happened between you and Steve during the time he suspected something. But he believed you. Nothing had happened, never and though Bucky still had to get used to Steve being around more and more each day, he knew he could trust the blonde. 

You seem happy with Steve and unlike you and him, things between Steve went slow, taking time. No moving in three weeks after or by each other's side everyday and you certainly didn't let the man straight into Rosie and JJ's life.

A break..of sorts and maybe he'd gotten his hopes up and believed it actually could get better with time; get back together and be that little family again but as time passed by, it became all too clear– you really didn't plan on getting with him again and Bucky couldn't even blame you.

But you still let him into your life, let him be a part of your life. A part of Rosie's life..of JJ. You let Rosie stay with him whenever she wanted to, let her stay the night or a couple of days until the girl wanted to get back home again. Got to see his son nearly everyday and have him all weekends. 'I'd never take away your kids, buck'

Invitations to stay for dinner or spend the evening or to tag along with one of your day outs– all too eager to spend all the time he could with what once was his family,  even if it meant spending time with Steve.

You still took care of bucky, you still loved bucky because the man who broke your heart made you believe in love again, pulled you out of your shell after years of wanting to be alone. Took care of you during your darkest days, stayed by your side when you needed him the most. Gave Rosie a father figure she never had the opportunity to get, gave you another little soul to take care of. Bucky Barnes stole, bruised and broke your heart and till this day manages to glue it back together. 

It took you a while to forgive him, you're still not sure if you actually have. With the loan you got from your new part time job at the store around the corner, you managed to get yourself a small two bedroom apartment not too far away from bucky– following most classes from your new study online and still being able to be there for your babies; if you were being honest, life was good. 

The family wilson being back in your life being the icing on the cake. Sam being to eager to apologise for everything he'd said and done although 'I told you so'– first flight to Brooklyn and before you knew it the family stood in your apartment, unpacked boxes and painted rooms as if their lives depended on it; be there for you like they were after riley– family. Hailey even spent the better part of her summer in Brooklyn by your side to catch up while in all honesty, she got tired of her dad and needed some time alone.

Life was surprisingly good after everything.

"Dad?" 

Snapping out of his daydream, Bucky looks up and meets the eyes of the little girl in the rear view mirror. The braid bucky had managed to braid that morning an untangled mess, hanging from her shoulder. Left overs of a chocolate cookie still visible on the corner of her mouth. Yellow shirt covered in dirt, paint and what else she'd been playing in and with at school.

Bucky hums and types a quick text to you, telling you he'd stay over for dinner "What's up?" 

"Can alpine come with me sometime?" Rosie asks seriously, a hint of hope in her voice. 

"I wish he could sweetheart but mom's not allowed to have any pets," Bucky chuckles "He misses mommy, right?" 

"I don't know, he can't talk silly." 

"Really then why does alpine talk to me every night?" Bucky quips back "he tells me how you steal the last cookies from the cookie jar." 

"That was JJ– when are mommy, me and JJ coming back home, I want my own bedroom again." 

Bucky clears his throat and quickly gazes to the little boy fast asleep in his carpet on the backseat and back to Rosie, Bucky swallows the lump in his throat. 

You tried to explain it all but the 4 year old never seemed to be able to understand any of it; the two times Christmas, two birthdays not working.

"I don't know princess," Bucky admits "whenever mommy is ready." 

which is never

Heavy footsteps echo against the grey stone walls of the short hallway,  doors with small white numbers glued onto the wood– Steve isn't much taller or shorter, maybe a bit broader but nothing to be afraid of and yet bucky finds himself tiny next to the man, intimidated to say the least- black leather jacket over a simple grey shirt clung around his biceps, long legs...intimidating but with the softest facial features, christ bucky didn't have any reason to feel this way around someone You deemed important. 

If anything, Steve was as awkward as him.

Twirling around the hallway, her pink and purple colored bag bouncing up and down her back and her messy braid flying through the air, Rosie stills at the sight of the men walking their way 

"You're late." 

"I know, kid," Steve chuckles lowly "tried to be faster." 

"Well, you should be faster next time." Rosie simply states. 

Steve nods his head towards bucky with a slight smile which bucky returns and without another word, Steve twirls the keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door with the faint 9 on it. 

Rosie storms in, nearly tripping over her own feet as she pulls her backpack off and throws it in the corner with all other shoes, bags and umbrellas. 

The man nods again as Bucky pushes the stroller with JJ through the door. The familiar smell of you lingering in the air and fills his nostrils. He ignores the footsteps behind him. Bucky pushes his son further into the kitchen where he picks JJ out and sets the little man on the floor. Bucky's not even able to say another word, his son zooming off on all fours, going straight to the box filled with toys near the couch in the living room. 

"I was told to hand you the keys." Bucky's eyes shoot up to Steve, your keys dangling between his thumb and index finger– Steve clears his throat. 

Casually folding the stroller back before standing up straight, bucky nods and holds his hand out. 

Your keys, not Steve's. Great, he's not at that base yet.

"y/n asked if you wanted to bathe the kids," Steve clears his throat once again and shifts his weight from one foot to the other "so she can start with dinner when she's back." 

"Yeah, sure." Bucky mumbles almost inaudibly, calm and collected, through his stomach drops as Steve nods and strides his way to your bedroom and comes back out with a black overnight bag hanging from his shoulder; rogers printed on the fabric. 

so, he's at that base already

"So, yeah– I should head back out. Work and all." Steve breathes out a laugh. 

Placing both hands on his sides, Steve looks back to the living room where Rosie and JJ crawled and played around the coffee table. 

"Bye rosie," Steve waves awkwardly and with no answer back, he looks back at bucky with a slight smile and nervous chuckle "kids, right." 

"Yeah," Bucky deadpans, not batting an eye at the men in front of him "kids." 

Bucky doesn't have the right to feel jealous, he screwed things up and not you but he still loves you with all his heart and he'll be damned if he didn't at least try to gain back your trust and maybe even woo you back in his life– Steve stands in the way of just that.

Taglist: @farfromshawn @Nicollettemarie @wooya1224 @felicityofbakerstreet @agentmstark @sierrax023 @lilyevanswhore @qhbr2013 @buckybarnesobsessed @themaddies-obx @aloserwithoutacause @aanngie @sebby-staan @sweetth1ng @starrystarkey93 @libidinexx @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @gasly-kvyat @brown-bi-beautiful @peter-laufeyson @im-squished @meshlababy @lindseyrae20 @cb97skies @qwccrr @ssprayberrythings @yougottalovefandoms @jbcalway @realgaytrash @natyvwe @poetryazenth @winterberryfox @ahahafudge @okiegirl24 @0moondoodler0 @why-wait-4-eventually

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Saving Grace - Part 15

A/N: Just a quick update because i've been slacking!! 💕

As lovely as my weekend away with Bucky had been i was so happy to be back with Harrison and Grace. Harrison had been so excited to see us when we got back to the compound.... he crashed out an hour later, clearly he wore himself out!

The next couple of days i mostly spent with Wanda, she was helping me with the kids while we sorted out the details for Harrison's birthday party. Bucky, Sam, Steve and Clint had all been kept busy with work. Bucky and Sam had had so many meetings with Ross while Clint and Steve had been training recruits.

"I can't believe our little Harry is 4 the day after tomorrow!" Wanda smiled sadly as we finished sorting some last minute party details "i missed so much of those years..."

"Aww Wan, dont be sad. You're here for him now thats all that matters, Harrison loves his Auntie Wands"

"I love him too! And my little miss Gracie, Y/N you seriously have the perfect kids!"

"They are pretty great, but i'm totally biased" i laughed quietly trying not to disturb Grace who was fast asleep in my arms.

"How's the house hunting going?"

"We've seen a few places online" i shrugged "but honestly, we just haven't had time to properly look yet what with Bucky being stuck in meetings most of the day. He comes home exhausted most days, i can't expect him to sit up for hours looking for houses"

"Ross has definitely kept them busy since you've been back from your dirty weekend" she smirked while wiggling her eyebrows.

"Funny" i laughed shaking my head at her "I think i preferred it when he didn't want Bucky and Sam involved in whatever god awful plans he's making"

"I think we all did" she chuckled.

Once the final details for Harrisons party were sorted i headed down to the gym to meet Bucky while Wanda stayed with the kids. We had arranged for some refresher training after the break in and realising how rusty i was, it was decided it would be a good idea for me to get back into fighting shape.... of course Bucky volunteered to help me. Walking into the gym i looked around for that man of mine but he was nowhere in sight, i sat and waited for 15 minutes and still nothing.

Y/N: Hey babe, i'm at the gym.... you still okay for our training session? Xx

Bucky: Fuck, sorry baby i'm still in this meeting with Ross..... can we reschedule something for tomorrow? Xx

Y/N: okay not a problem, i'll see you later xx

I tucked my phone into my bag and grabbed my water bottle ready to head back to the living quarter's when i heard my name being called, I turned around and was face to face with Steve.

"Hey, you leaving already?" He asked looking confused "you just got here"

"Yeah i was supposed to be meeting Bucky, he was going to train with me. After the break in and realising how out of practice i am we thought it'd be a good idea" i shrugged.

"He ain't coming?"

"Nope, Ross has them stuck in some meeting"

"I could help you.... i mean its not like i haven't trained with you before and im done for the day"

"I don't know....."

"Wow, you're really gonna turn down the chance to land some punches on me huh?"

"Well when you say it like that..... sure! Lets do this" i smiled shaking my head "just go easy on me its been a while since i've done this"

"We'll go slow, come on" he nodded towards the sparing mats and i followed him over, Steve tossed me some gloves while he took off his hoody and rolled his shoulders out.

"When was the last time you trained?"

"Before i found out i was pregnant with Harrison" i replied avoiding eye contact with Steve, i remembered it clearly. The second i found out i was pregnant i decided i was out of the avenging life, and being a new mom i just didn't have the time for training.

"Wow"

"I know, i should have at least tried to keep up with some of it...."

"No, its not that, its just you look good"

"Having two kids keeps me busy" i shrugged "besides, i could use the tone up. Im still carrying some baby weight..."

"Well not that my opinion counts but i think you look great" Steve said blushing slightly, it reminded me of when we first started dating. Steve would always get embarrassed when paying me a compliment, it was cute. I finished fastening the gloves and stepped onto the mat to stand in front of Steve who held up his bare hands.

"You don't wanna grab some pads??"

"Im good, i can take it" he smirked.

"Lets do this then".

It only took 10-15 minutes before i was finally getting into it, the moves suddenly falling into place, my confidence increasing.

"Okay i think we're good here for today my hands are gonna bruise" Steve smirked after a good 40 minutes of sparing.

"It'll be gone in seconds don't be a baby Steve..... besides i'm enjoying myself"

"How about we change it up then, lets work on your defence. Gloves off, i'm gonna come at you.... stop me"

"Stop you?? Steve you're a super soldier!"

"I'll go easy on you sweetheart don't worry" he chuckled, his laugh quickly dying when he noticed his slip up of calling me sweetheart, old habits die hard i guess. I didn't react to it i just pulled off the gloves and turned to throw them off to the side. While my back was turned Steve lunged at me wrapping his arms around me so my arms were pinned to my body.

"Hey! Cheater!" I moaned struggling in his hold.

"Break free..... remember what i used to tell you?"

I tossed my head back hard hitting Steve in the nose, he wasn't expecting me to hit him so hard and loosened his hold on me enough so i could elbow him in the gut, i turned in his arms and was about to aim for the groin but he quickly blocked my attack and swept my legs out from under me. I landed hard on my back, Steve was then straddling my hips with my hands pinned to the floor.

"Nice try..... did you have to head butt me that hard though?" He laughed.

"It wasn't that hard, maybe you're outta practice too old man".

"Whats going on here?" I heard Bucky from behind and i turned as much as i could to look at him.

"Hey babe, Steve offered to train with me.....but i'm not so sure he's up for the job. Old man Rogers can't even take a head butt to the face anymore"

"Still kicked your ass though"

"You can get off of her now man, you've proved your point. I'll take over from here" Bucky said throwing a death glare at his ex best friend. Steve quickly got up and went to reach his hand out to help me up but Bucky quickly beat him to it. I took Bucky's hand and he easily got me to my feet before pulling me close.

"You wanna carry on training for a bit longer or are you done?"

"I think i'm done for the day" i smiled up at him "i need a shower".

"Okay lets go"

"Thanks for the training session Steve"

"Sure, anytime".

Bucky was silent on the walk back to our room, unusually quiet.

"Hey, you okay? Did you have a bad meeting with Ross?" I asked closing the door so we had some privacy.

"Meeting was fine" he mumbled.

"So whats wrong?"

"Oh maybe it was walking in finding your ex straddling you in the middle of the gym....."

"Buck come on, he just offered to help me out for a bit"

"I know but i dont like it! Seeing him like that with you....." he shook his head and i knew he was thinking of Steve and I together.

"Hey, you have nothing to worry about. You know that right? Im yours.....Completely"

"I know that, i do, but i can't help but worry when i see you two together. You've got history and kids....."

"We have a shitty history incase you forgot? And the kids are yours, you might not be their biological father but you have been more of a dad to them than Steve has been"

"Im scared im going to loose you.... all of you"

"Baby you have nothing to worry about i promise you. I love you Bucky Barnes and im yours"

"I love you too doll, i love you so much" he leant down and kissed me hard pulling me tight to his body.

"You wanna come join me for that shower Sergeant?"

"Yes m'am".

Saving grace tags: @jennmurawski13 @kenzieam

@captainchrisstan @s-t-r-i-k-e-us

@lets--be-honest @ms-betsy-fangirl

@damnaged-princess @farfromtommy

@disneylovingal @lbuck121 @billweasleey @heathens-takeitsl0w

@lacontroller1991 @supervengerslock

@mariswritingforfun

@perpetually-tuned-out @thummbelina

@marvelousstyles @broco8 @ineffableg-irl @ilovesupersoldiers

@writeroutoftime @ek823

@Imjstaghoststory @cap-just-said-language

@xxloki81xx @death-unbecomes-you @bellemile @buckyandsebastian @afuckingshituniverse @i-ran-out-of-fanfics

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly

[fandominvolved]

Right in front of me | SamBucky

Summary - Sam gets injured, Bucky panics

Warnings - Angst, fluff, Blood, wound and none descriptive fight scene, Swears, Unconscious body, Mentioned of knife, stitching a wound with dental floss, Bullshit medical procedures (seriously.. is it obvious idk what I'm talking about?), bleeding trough bandages

He should have known.

Bucky should have known once he saw the shiny glint of the knife appear in the guy's hand.

Bucky should have warned Sam that he had a knife. But he didn't.

He didn't because he got distracted by one of the partners trying to punch him.

And he doesn't even remember who they were fighting; he just knows that one second Sam is fighting unaware of the knife and the next he's bleeding.

And it's awful.

It's awful because Sam wasn't wearing his Captain America suit. The one made of vibranium specifically for him so that stuff like this wouldn't happen.

And the groans that leave Sam's lips are going to haunt Bucky's nightmares for eternity. He knows it will.

But he can't do anything. Not now.

Not when there are still two guys to deal with. And Sam can put pressure on the wound on his own. He can do that.

And Bucky just barely manages to dodge a punch from someone, he was too focused on Sam he needs to get his mind back to the fight.

So, Bucky forces himself to ignore Sam's groans. Forces himself to ignore the bright red blood that was starting to seep through Sam's finger. And he fights.

He manages to wrestle the knife from someone's hand and stabs them. It's not going to kill them. He doesn't do that anymore. But it will hurt and leave him unable to fight. And that's what he needs.

Bucky scans his surroundings-- pretending that his eyes don't linger just a second too long on Sam-- and the other guy is nowhere in sight.

Coward.

He's a coward, he left his partner there writhing on the floor in pain.

And Bucky ignores the guy screaming in anguish, that would probably haunt him but right now all he can focus is on Sam.

Sam who's leaning against the wall with blood dribbling down his lips. Soft groans escaping his lips.

"Shit, Sam," Bucky whispered, he moved Sam's hands away from the wound and peeled the blood-soaked t-shirt from his stomach.

Sam winced, "Buck," Sam whispered breathlessly.

"Put pressure on it," Bucky's eyes were unmoving. They stayed fixated on Sam's stomach, watching as his abs flexed and unflexed continuously due to the intense pain.

Sam placed his hands over the wound, biting back a hiss, "wha're you doing?"

Bucky took off his jacket, ripping apart the sleeves, "What does it look like? Not like we can call an ambulance while undercover,"

Sam stared at Bucky through his half-lidded eyes, "could," Sam let out a shaky breath.

Bucky ignored Sam. He had to. Had to ignore the pained whispers and the way he tried to pull away from Bucky's hands as he started to apply pressure on the wound.

Because if Bucky acknowledged that the blood on his palms was Sam's, Bucky won't be able to stop himself. He won't be able to stop himself from shaking, trembling. While his mind supplied him with so many outcomes where Sam doesn't survive this.

And he can't do that.

Not when Sam needed him.

Expertly Bucky tied the jacket around Sam's middle, keeping extra pressure on the front, "We're going to stand up, come on,"

Bucky placed one of Sam's arms over his shoulder.

"Bucky-" Sam heaved out, a broken cough wrenching its way out of his throat, "wha' bout 'im," Sam's eyes, filled with tears, glanced behind Bucky. Where he left the guy bleeding out.

"Sam, he stabbed you, and you're bleeding out. Right now I could give less of a shit about him," Bucky slowly lifted Sam, keeping his vibranium arm secure around Sam's waist. Bucky waited a few minutes. "He won't die," was all that Bucky could come up to say as he felt the guilt in his chest get impossibly bigger.

Sam lowered his head, Bucky supposed it was meant to be a nod or well he took it as one.

And they started walking.

Left. Right. Left. Right.

Bucky kept eyeing the floor, making sure their feet were synchronized.

"Buck," Sam wheezed out, "I, I can't"

Even with such a short sentence, it took Sam way too much effort to utter out. Wordlessly Bucky nodded and slowly helped Sam sit on the pavement, his back against a lamp pole.

"God, what am I going to do?" Bucky muttered.

Sam closed his eyes, the harsh light causing his headache to worsen, "be'ind you,"

"Don't close your eyes dammit,"

Bucky was panicking. The adrenaline wore off and even the soreness in his muscles couldn't stop him from being terrified.

Terrified that Sam would die, bleeding out in a no-name street at night.

Sam slowly, with strength he felt he didn't have, opened his eyes. Squinting at the blurry figure he knew to be Bucky, "behind you,"

Bucky threw a glance over his shoulder. Barely paying attention to what he saw.

Bucky paused. And did a double-take. Behind him, a couple of feet away, there was a small convenience store.

Bucky stood up from the squat, and turned around, "Sam, It’s going to be quick, I swear. Just don't close your eyes,"

"I won't," Sam whispered.

"Promise me,"

"I promise," Sam let out another wet cough, his back slumping down even further against the pole.

Bucky nodded, "yeah, just wait here,"

He knew it was a stupid thing to say. It wasn't like Sam could leave, he could barely even keep his eyes open. But it helped calm Bucky down.

Even if just a little bit.

Bucky quickly walked over to the other street, throwing glances over his shoulder making sure Sam was okay,

Opening the window door, the bell letting out a little jingle, he sent a tight-lipped smile towards the half-asleep cashier. He quickly walked around the store scanning the shelves for what he needed.

Alcohol. Floss. Needles. Bandages. Pain killers. Disinfectant wipes. Scissors.

Bucky reached out with his hand and grabbed the Alcohol, only to pull his hand back almost immediately.

Blood.

Not just any blood Sam's.

Sam's blood was staring right back at him. Laughing in his face.

In his rush, he had forgotten he still had Sam's blood on his hands. Bucky swallowed down the bile that was threatening to come up and grabbed the alcohol ignoring how it felt slippery under his grip.

As quickly as he could Bucky grabbed every single thing that he needed. And some extras just in case.

He walked-- jogged-- over to the counter and threw a crumpled fifty-dollar bill. It was probably too much. He didn't care. Bucky exited the store and ran over to Sam.

"Hey," Sam mumbled, his face covered in a sheen coat of sweat and blood, "Took you long enough,"

Bucky nodded, carefully he started removing his blood-soaked jacket from Sam's stomach, "sorry," Bucky whispered, avoiding looking up to Sam's eye.

"It’s okay," Sam slurred, his hands twitching against his sides, "it’s okay, okay,"

And Bucky realized Sam was trying to convince himself that he was going to be okay.

"You're going to be okay," Bucky looked up and, finally, met Sam's half-lidded gaze. His eyebrows were scrunched up with wrinkles forming around the corner and his lips, which were coated in a thin coat of cherry red blood, were slightly opened letting out pained gasps.

"This isn't my first time doing it," Bucky whispered, looping the dental floss through the needle, "This is going to hurt a shit ton,"

That was the only warning he gave Sam before he carefully inserted the needle into his skin.

Sam's hand shot up and dripped onto Bucky's shoulder, his calloused fingers digging harshly onto Bucky's skin, "shit,"

Bucky as quickly as he could-- while trying not to hurt Sam-- finish tending to Sam's wound.

And this wasn't ideal.

He was using his right hand to handle the needle. His shaking hand. His vibranium arm would have been so much better, but he can't use it. If he did he would have ended up hurting Sam even more.

And he can't have that.

"Alright, it’s done," Bucky let out a sigh of relief, he let the needle drop onto the ground.

Sam let a pained smile graze his face, " 'anks,"

Bucky nodded as he grabbed the alcohol, "this is going to hurt,"

He poured the alcohol into the cap and spilled it over the wound. Sam's stomach clenched and the pad of his fingers dug even deeper into Bucky's bone.

Some of the blood got washed away by the alcohol revealing the lovely dark brown-colored skin that Bucky always loved to admire.

"Don't-" Sam heaved out as Bucky started opening the bandages.

"I have to,"

Sam shook his head, his teeth were biting onto his bottom lip, "hurts too much,"

"It'll get infected, and we have to walk to the motel," Bucky met Sam's gaze.

Sam stared at Bucky, his eyes normally so beautiful now dark as every single inch of him was consumed in pain. And he whispered out, "Buck," It was a plea.

A wish.

One he couldn't give to him.

But he could give him something else.

Bucky grabbed the bottle he had thrown onto the ground, the pills inside of it clinking together, "It won't stop the pain entirely, but it'll help,"

A compromise.

Bucky watched Sam's unreadable face. Watched as his eyes glazed over from the overwhelming pain, and his hand kept tightening over his shoulder. And Sam looked at Bucky until he gave a barely-there nod.

Bucky fished the water bottle he had bought and passed two pills to Sam.

Sam could care less that the pills had some of his blood on them. He just needed to feel something else than this burning pain deep within his body.

Bringing a shaky hand up to his face he threw the pills into his mouth. Dry swallowing them.

"Sam?" Bucky asked, showing the bottle to Sam, but Sam just shook his head and closed his eyes.

"Just do it,"

Bucky nodded, “Tell me if I hurt you,” Bucky with swift hands wrapped the bandage around Sam’s middle. Ignoring the few curse words that slipped Sam’s mouth. Ripping off a piece of tape, he placed it on the bandages making sure they were tight enough but not too tight that it aggravated Sam’s injury even further.

Bucky lowered Sam’s shirt onto the gauze, muttering a small apology as Sam winced.

“God, stay here. There’s no way in hell you’re going to be able to walk with that stab wound,” Bucky stood up, the muscles of his back protesting the sudden shift.

“What are you going to do?” Sam slurred, slumping his head back against the pole revealing the long column of his neck covered in a mixture of sweat, tears, and grime.

“Getting us a ride. Just don’t fall asleep, please,”

Bucky walked over to one of the parked cars. He hasn’t done this since he went to Wakanda, but it’s gotta be like riding a bike right?

Once you learn you never forget it.

Eyeing his surroundings-- letting his gaze linger on Sam for just a few seconds once again-- he smashed the car window with his left arm. Broken pieces of glass fell onto the seat and sidewalk. He threw the few pieces that were on the seat onto the floor and slid into it.

His hand reached blindly under the dashboard, there was a time where Bucky could have done this without thinking twice about it. Could have done this while focusing on the task at hand ignoring his surroundings while simultaneously being hyper-aware of them.

Bucky grabbed the two cables and cut off their ends. Getting started on hot wiring the car.

Maybe he should feel guilty that he’s stealing an innocent person’s car-- he wouldn’t be surprised if the car was the cashier’s-- just like he should have felt guilty about leaving the man writhing in pain on the floor.

But he doesn’t.

Not when all of his emotions are focusing on Sam. He knows once Sam is okay he'll feel the guilt, feel the slow torture of it filling up his heart.

But right now the certain guilt he had to learn to live with has been eaten. Overcome by a much bigger and scarier monster. And maybe if Bucky had a word for that feeling he wouldn’t be scared of it so much.

But he doesn’t.

He doesn’t have a word for it and it’s terrifying because this isn’t the first time he has felt this. It isn’t the first time because he remembers feeling it when Steve left. Feeling like his one constant in life was gone. And he was lost.

But it’s so different.

It isn’t like the fear he felt when he had fallen to his death. And it isn’t like the confusion he felt when he saw Steve after years of being tortured.

 

And this feeling. This new feeling was blinding Bucky. Was making him see stuff that wasn’t there. Was making him see Sam lying dead on the floor with a pool of his blood.

And that was dangerous.

So dangerous.

Bucky glanced back towards Sam once he got the car running.

It would be easier if he drove the car closer to Sam, so that’s what he did.

Once he was close enough he let the car running and got out. His eyes immediately found Sam’s slumped form.

“Sam?” Bucky was panicking.

Sam’s eyes were fully closed, and even though his chest was rising and falling erratically that didn’t stop the panic from spreading.

"Sam?" Bucky shouted, kneeling next to his unconscious body.

Sam twitched.

But he still didn't open his eyes.

"Shit," Bucky mumbled. This couldn't get any worse.

Bucky curled his arm around Sam's knees and picked him up bridal style. Letting out a soft groan.

Making sure not to hurt Sam more than he already was, he opened the back door-- after a bit of struggling-- and laid Sam on the seat.

Bucky threw a glance at the opened supplies that he'd thrown on the floor. He considered leaving them but decided against it.

Quickly picking up the stuff from the floor he jogged over to the driver seat. Throwing everything in his hands onto the passenger's side, hearing a soft thud as the alcohol bottle rolled onto the floor.

And he drove.

He drove down the dark isolated streets illuminated by the car's headlights.

His gaze kept switching back and forth between the road and the backseat. Bucky was scared. Scared that if he stopped looking at Sam for even one second he would stop breathing.

Bucky had lost everyone close to him. He couldn't lose Sam too.

Not when Sam had somehow made his way into Bucky's guarded heart and broke down every single one of his walls. Took away his armor and left it on the floor to rust. Took every single defense that Bucky had built and left him standing in front of him bare. Defenseless. Revealing every single secret, every single fear, that he had tried so hard to hide.

And it's funny because as much as Bucky liked to say that he hated Sam. That he was only with him since he had nothing better to do. There was nowhere else he'd rather be.

At some point, the shield had been his only family. His only sense of security. But now in some way Sam had become family-- and so had Sarah, Aj, Cass, and every single person that lived in Delacroix that somehow knew Sam-- and he accepted him.

Accepted him despite his past-- and his hideous hair as Sam liked to say-- and Bucky doesn't know what he'll do without him.

Doesn't know if he'll survive.

The sounds of clothes ruffling together and a pained whimper echoed from the Backseat. Bucky licked his chapped lips and threw a glance at the rear window.

"Sam?" Bucky asked as he saw him struggling to sit up.

" 'm fine," Sam said, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes shut tightly together in pain.

"You don't look fine," Bucky retorted, somehow managing to keep his eyes on the road and not turn around completely and stare at Sam.

Sam hummed, and as the rustling began to grow louder Bucky threw a glance towards the back. And his heart, which had felt lighter once he heard Sam wake up, got tighter.

"Sam, shit, your bandages," Bucky exclaimed, his eyes not once leaving the slowly spreading blood against the white gauze.

Bucky shifted his gaze from Sam towards the dark road, looking for a place to pull over.

Sam peered down at his stomach through half-lidded eyes, " 'ust be why it 'urts," He slurred.

"Don't move," Bucky demanded, his voice stern, even though it felt like his insides were being filled up with water and he was drowning in it.

"Wasn't planning on to," Sam lifted his gaze and dark brown eyes met icy cold blue ones through the rear window, "I'm 'ine,"

Bucky shook his head and pulled the car over to a small clearing, "You probably popped one of the stitches, somehow,"

"Somehow," Sam mocked as a wet cough tore its way out of his throat, "you used floss,"

"It always worked fine with me,"

Sam even though the pain managed to glare at Bucky. Although it didn't have the effect he wanted considering not a second later he shut his eyes tightly as the pounding pain in his abdomen distracted him.

Bucky got out of the car, barely paying attention to his surroundings; the only thing on his mind right now was Sam.

He wrenched the back door open meeting Sam's semi startled eyes.

" 'hat the car do to you?" Sam asked, tilting his head back onto the seat.

[nagener]

This was born out a convo with @pixia a while ago, so Im posting it here too. Oh, and that "kiss" in Civil War...just no.

Life without Steve Rogers being the heart of the Avengers was proving as difficult as the absence of Tony as the face of the Avengers, and Nat. Nat was the glue that held them in place and always seemed to bring them together.

Sharon Carter had stepped into their fractured world, hoping to help them find a balance, regain their footing as the world would now be focusing on the newly titled Captain America, and if he would live up to the name, or would it still be the Falcon who would answer the call to danger.

Then there was James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, or as she became acquainted with him as the Winter Soldier. She still bore the scar from when she faced him in his negatively enhanced state, finding herself bearing a deep gash from the table her back broke when she was thrown against it. Despite the visible evidence of their prior altercation in Germany, she had since become thoroughly educated on all that Bucky had suffered and been forced to perform in the name of Hydra. It was hard to hold onto a justified mad in the face of the man before her now. The man who looked as if the weight he carried on his shoulders had gone the way of the snap. He now wore a mildly amused smile as Sam tried to explain why Star Wars was superior to any Sci fi franchise out there.

Sam had taken it upon himself to broaden Bucky's pop culture knowledge so they could have conversations about more than Steve and cats. He's really has to get Bucky off YouTube.

As Sam starts in on the merits of Return of the Jedi, Bucky who was half listening, kept glancing over as Sharon tapped on her laptop, occasionally interjecting with her thoughts on Sam's musings. Every now and then she'd look over the top of her computer, seeing Bucky on the verge of saying something.

"Yes James, can I help you?"

Bucky startled, "Um, yeah?"

Demure smile on her lips, "Go ahead. What is it?"

Bucky runs his hand over his now much shorter hair, smoothing his fingers over his chin. "Remember in Germany, we", motioning between he and Sam, "we were in the car, and you and Steve were, were um..."

"What he means to say is K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Sam laughs.

Bucky rolls his eyes. He knows the Steve/Peggy history, so once he discovered who Sharon was, his curiosity grew. So much. He blurts out "What were you thinking? First of all, he's old as dirt!"

Sam coughs "Hypocritical much?"

"Hey!" says Bucky. "Shut up, I look great for my age!"

Sam snorts. "You keep telling yourself that."

Sharon shakes her head, "Hey, remember he was my neighbor and I checked him out on more than one occasion."

Bucky looking horrified, "Eww, no! No, no, no! That's more than I ever needed know! Ever."

Sam, because how can he not ask, "So did you enjoy kissing a senior citizen?"

Sharon smiles knowingly..."I guess it is a bit confusing."

Bucky eyes wide, "Confusing? I'm scarred for life now, and I've seen some things!"

"Look, it was a stressful time. Wasn't sure what was going to happen. I got to kiss my crush. Later I thought about it. Yeah, it's all just too weird. I'm glad it wasn't more that. I didn't want to dishonor the memory of my aunt. I still can't believe he went back." Looking at Bucky, "He fought so hard for you. Countries, Friends. I've tried to make sense of it. But he's Steve. I guess when he's single minded about something.."

Bucky sighs, "Yeah." It's quiet for a moment.

"But seriously, he's old enough to be your grandpa. Grandpa Steve mackin down on the ladies." Sam looks at Sharon expectantly. He fails to see the apple Bucky has surreptitiously thrown at his head.

[wwhitewwolff]

Good morning

Bucky Barnes X Reader

Warnings: cheating, insecurities, lies, angst, misleading storyline?? This one is long

Summary: when Bucky stops texting his long distance girlfriend good mornings each morning she gets suspicious, going back to America to visit him she's in for a surprise she had never expected.

A/N: guess who's writing again? No one because no one guessed because like 3 people will read this and it will be dead forever *shrug* I feel like this storyline is really misleading so, sorry? Also AOS is a main theme for this but if you don't watch the show it really doesn't matter

This is Bobbie btw for anyone who wants to know what she looks like for this

It had been over a year since you had seen your boyfriend, well properly seen your boyfriend, moving back to England was a hard decision for you but you knew it was the best one, you knew that taking the promotion was the best thing you could do but your mind was still constantly plagued with insecurities and worries, but you knew Bucky wasn't like that, he could never? Could he?

It had started about 3 months ago, his usually cheerful morning texts which never failed to bring a smile to your face had stopped, almost ceased to exist, from his constant hey, baby! How's my gorgeous girl? To his babyyy! Wake uupp! It's been too long! Facetime me when you're free my pretty doll. his morning texts had fallen to a simple hey or I'm busy we'll talk later and the main fact he never bothered to text first anymore had caused your usual insecurities to skyrocket, why did he never have time to send you a simple hello anymore? Or more importantly who meant he didn't have the time?

Your phone buzzed as you say in bed, mind plagued by thoughts, you immediately shot up, hopefully Bucky had gone back to usual? Opening your phone you had found a simple text from your boss Phil 'meet me in the headquarters at 10', why was Phil in England? More importantly why did he need to see you?

Standing up you prepared yourself for the day to come.

"Hey y/n/n!" Your good friend and teammate Bobbi chirped as she brought you your regular morning drink

"mornin' Bob" you slurred out as you wrapped your coat around your frame tightly, shivering as you took in the very open windows.

"someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Argh! No! Stop throwing things at me!" Hunter shrieked as Bobbi began throwing pillows at him.

"Wow, adorable couple" you mumbled as you took in the pair, after getting remarried the pair had fallen deeply in love once again, you wished you could have that but unfortunately being the director of S.A.B, shield associations Britain you barely had the time to speak to Bucky, yet alone the time to break up with him or move on, whereas normal couples may have fallen apart you were way to busy to even think about dating or parties or even making new friends, you stuck to your own lane.

"hunter! Barbra!" A familiar, fatherly voice boomed as the familiar figure of Phil Coulson stepped into the office, taking in the pair he hadn't seen since Russia "I thought you two were never coming back to shield?" He grinned happily

"we could never leave our dear y/n alone in a country! She's so far into work she hasn't even been shopping yet!" Bobbie exasperated "and please, Phil! Dont call me Barbra! Barbra is far worse than any possible nickname you could give me!" The blonde grinned cheekily

"Bobbie, stop being so dramatic, we went shopping last month!" You shook your head playfully as you took a seat at your desk, gesturing for Phil to sit opposite you beside Hunter -who had perched himself happily onto one of the plush leather chairs-

"I need you to come back to New York for a while" Phil stated softly

"what? Really? Ohmygosh nofreakingway!" You shrieked happily

"English, y/n/n!" Hunter playfully chided, wagging a finger at you as you practically glowed, you had missed your friends and especially Bucky.

"when?" You asked excitedly

"next month, I'm sending agent Piper to hold things down till you get back here" Phil smiled at the young woman, barely reached her late 20's and still so experienced yet full of life. A small smile graced his lips as he watched the h/c girl jump up and start rambling.

• time skipy•

The buzz of the quinjet filled your ears as you stepped off, e/c orbs wandered as you took in the familiar tower in which your boyfriend and some of your closest friends lived, sighing deeply you grabbed Bobbi's hand and quickly guided her to the doors

"nervous?" She asks over the low rumble of the quinjet ascending back into the air and back to the main s.h.i.e.l.d base. Turning your head to face Bobbi you opened your mouth to deny but quickly remembered how useless it would be- you knew the spy since s.h.i.e.l.d academy! She knows you better than you do and vice versa

"I don't know why, b! I mean I'm going to see some of my best friends AND my boyfriend!' you blurted out exasperated, anyone walking past might have looked at you like you're crazy but Barbara Morse was your best friend in the entire world and she had seen much worse than you screaming out into the rough winds.

"y/f/n" she stopped walking abruptly piping your linked arms backwards with her "has Bucky been acting weird with you?" She asked inquisitively, shrugging you immediately regretted not speaking to her about Bucky before, she would have helped. "Oh y/n/n; you didn't you tell me? No wonder you're so skitterish today! Whatever it is I'm sure it's nothing too big, Bucky loves you and I can even tell that without meeting the man! He's probably on a mission or something, he IS an avenger" Bobbi calmly rubbed your back as she spoke, guiding your hand to the identification scanners.

"thanks Bob, you always know how to make me feel so much better. I love you" you sighed dreamily, aiming to annoy the woman "oh you cow! Stop being so corny!" The blonde laughed aloud and she lightly smacked your hand, walking into the escalators you began calming your nerves, you felt like a giddy teenager going to her first date. And you hated it. The fact that a few stupid texts had lead you into this trivial paranoid stage had fully set into your mind. It was Bucky for god's sake! James Buchanan Barnes, the same James who stumbled over his words when asking you out, the same bucky who arrived an hour early to pick you up for said date and almost died when he realised, the same Mr Barnes who quit the avengers (although for 10 minutes) to be with you. He was your Bucky and you don't need texts to know that.

As the elevator doors pinged open you and Bobbie stepped out and into the large lounge which occupied the avengers.

Looking up Steve's mouth gaped open before jumping up and accidentally flipping the table over as he ran towards you "Y/N/N! YOU'RE HERE OH MY! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG! I MISSED YOU!! AND IM SO SORRY ABOUT HOW HE-" Steve blabbered out as he squeezed hugged you tightly, barley taking in anything he was saying you were quick to end his ramblings

"'tevie! I've missed you and all but shhhh inside voices remember" you laughed as the soldier nodded looking like a lost puppy

"sorry y/n/n but I've missed my best friend so-" this was when Bobbie felt to make her presence known "hold up! Wait a minute! If anyone is y/f/n's best friend; it's ME. So sit down mate, she's mine" bobbie stated proudly, reminding you of your (then) puppy when meeting Bucky

Shaking your head you introduced Bobbie and greeted everyone else, sitting down inbetween Pietro and Wanda you looked around the room, the obvious man who wasn't in the room still plagued your mind "hey,guys where Bucky?" You asked with a small smile, the avengers a looked at you as if you'd grown 2 heads "what? Can't I see my boyfriend?" You laughed, greeted with silence you stood up "I check I'll check his room then?" You asked wearily before all but sprinting our the room, barely noticing how the room erupted and bob and Steve had run after you.

The elevator door closed as soon as you stepped inside, you were so confused, why was everyone so shocked? Especially when you called him your boyfriend? And Steve looked mortified! Taking a deep breath you stepped out and walked to your "boyfriends" door

"hmm yes buck!" A feminine voice sighed from the room as you neared it, stopping about a step away from the door you could almost feel the tears gathering in your e/c orbs, pushing them away you stopped to listen...not a sound came out, your mind must have been playing tricks surely!

Gulping a big breath of air you stepped forwards and opened the door quickly "Bucky! Surprise! I'm- Oh my god" your playful tone turned quiet and lifeless and you took in the scene Infront of you, bucky laying almost naked ontop of a scantily clad Natasha

•

Steve knew something was wrong the moment you asked for Bucky, why would she ask where Bucky is? Bucky had told the team he broke up with her to date Natasha MONTHS ago, then y/n called him her boyfriend and the entire team was stunned as it dawned onto steve.

Bucky didn't break up with his girlfriend, he was cheating on her with Natasha whilst the girl was off being a good person in England.

Steve quickly ran after his friend, Bobbie following shortly after as they attempted to keep up with the h/c girl, when the elevator doors closed quickly the man knew he was far too late.

"Rogers? Care to explain?!" Morse snapped as she stared up at the giant of a man

"buck...no" too in shock to believe Bucky, HIS Bucky would do this, words Jumbled and the man leaned against the wall awaiting the lift to come

"spit it out Rogers! If something is wrong with my best friend I need to know!" Barbara placed a hand onto the blondes arm, staring into his eyes as she searched for answers

"Bucky said they broke up, he's been seeing natasha since October"

•

Bucky knew he'd messed up, quickly scrambling off of natasha and throwing the blanket over her barely clothes body the ex assassin stared up at his girlfriend...well ex now he guessed

"you... little...I can't even.." you gasped out as you stepped back into the hallway

"y/n! Baby no!" He cried running after you

"OH FUCK OFF BARNES" your calm yet betrayed tone turned Malicious as you turned too him in a rage and screamed, the other avengers at this point had caught up and we're watching shocked, they had seen your angry side of the field or in life or death situations (or scariest of all, during monopoly) but never had you ever screamed or raised your voice at any of them and here you were fists clenched and body shaking as you stated at the man Infront of you.

"YOU ARE HONESTLY THE MOST EVIL MAN I'VE EVER MET! WHILST IM OUT THERE WORKING SO HARD FOR SHIELD YOURE WHORING AROUND WITH THAT SLAG?!" You screamed, natahsa at this point had stepped out and stared at you in shock

"Hey! You want a punch, bitch?!"

"she's not a slag!" The pair yelled at the same time, this just fueled your rage.

"OH FUCK OF! DON'T KID ANY OF US NATASHA YOU SLEEP YPUR WAY THROUGH LIFE AND YOU BARNES IM SURPRISED YOU EVEN GOT NATASHA SEEING AS YOURE SO FUCKED UP I'M EVEN SURPRISED YOU GOT ME!" you had no idea where this was coming from but rage and pain from all these few months had come crashing down on you

Feeling a familiar and protective arm wrap around your shoulders you expected the figure to pull you away, or hug you, or calm you but no- Barbra Mose does NOT tolerate betrayal and most certainly not when it's directed at her best friend

"you're surprised? Babes, the whore has probably slept around with half the world, i mean the cheap cunt probably had to flash her saggy boobs and that bitch ran to her with open arms" Bobbie stated, her voice strong and insulting yet everyone without even knowing this woman could tell that she was about to commit a murder.

"let's go, hun" bobbie stated, your energy gone as you pushed through the team behind you, however you stopped and turned to see that Bucky and natasha, although looking guitly had traveled to eachother, you turned back to face them and took menacing steps towards them, as soon as you were in range of the pair you cocked your fist back and bought it to the throat of your boy- your ex.

"bye Barnes, rot in hell with this demon of a woman"

And with that you called Phil, you wanted to disconnect the avengers from the S.A.B and told him that you would be extending your trip; it was time to step up as director, you were here now and your job was to make sure Sheild is at the top, and no sex obsessed dick of an ex is gonna break you.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Okay it's so bad I know but the first parts were in my drafts for so long and I need to start writing again, I accidentally deleted my Steve imagine AND the first Bucky imagine so I'm trying to get those back but I'm also trying to actually right again. No one's gonna read this I know but it was a fun idea I had that strayed far, plus as long as I like my writing I'll keep doing it and maybe I'll do a part 2? Idk