#im supposed to be working from home but instead im crying over my dog haha

[jenniez-tv]

HIPEC surgery (warning - photos of my abdomen after surgery will be shown)

The night before surgery I was on clear liquids only.. that was hard when all my family members kept talking about food and dessert.. the stomach growl was real. Haha. I spent the night playing mahjong with my family up until I had to pack and get ready to leave the house. An all nighter. Weeee. I really didn’t care to sleep since I don’t usually sleep til the morning anyways and I would be sleeping a lot in the hospital so it was whatever.

My aunt, mom, and I leave to go to the hospital around 4am (super early). We arrive, I’m sent to preop to get ready and I am super nervous.. I realized I forgot to take my anti anxiety Med before leaving the house.. UGH. I ask the nurse if she can ask the doc to give me one while I’m waiting and she said the Anesthesologist can give me something when they are ready to wheel me to the OR. Like wtf? How is that helpful? Why would I need anxiety meds right before I go to sleep for the freaking surgery?!? I need it for the 2hrs of waiting!!! She didn’t even bother to ask! Ughhhh.. like why? She is supposed to be an advocate for me.. Was not happy with her.. then she told me to relax.. HAHA. Glad I won’t see her again. Rude.

Me waiting at preop

Anywho.. next thing I know I’m awake in PACU. I’m groggy and in pain.. and of course felt myself up all over my abdomen to make sure I didn’t get a ileostomy bag. Thank god I did not! I did have a jp drain though. The Dr said he removed the organs he planned on-the uterus, ovaries, omentum, gallbladder along with 3 small things he found in my abdomen. I have no idea where and how big they were. They don’t think they are tumors but the pathology results have not come back yet.. feels like forever waiting for results.. either way, im glad it was found and removed. (Update- the results came back benign! Negative for cancer!)

I’m moved to the ICU and get hooked up to so much equipment. I stayed in the ICU for 2.5days. I had 2 iv’s, an arterial line, Foley catheter, NG tube, JP drain and a wound vac. My throat hurt so damn bad.. every time I swallowed it hurt.. that NG tube fked up my throat. I was also a not allowed eat or drink anything for 2 days until they took it out. I could not wait! Post op day 1 was a killer for me. Just trying to sit up made me cry. They wanted me to walk down the hall while pushing the wheelchair. I literally looked like a old person who has the hump back and couldnt stand straight while walking. The poor nurses were pretty much holding my weight lol. Even helping me scoot up on the bed hurt. My family said my entire body and face was super swollen . I just pictured the scene in Willy wonka and the chocolate factory where that girl turned into a huge blueberry. 🤭 I think the most annoying part of ICU was when they kept giving me blood pressure medication and IV fluids to increase my blood pressure. I normally have low BP like 80-90/50-60 told everyone. Apparently the Med surg unit (Unit I would be at until I get discharged) doesn’t like BP’S under 90. I mean seriously, I can’t be the only one with normal low BP’s.. With all the fluids during and after surgery.. I was 15lbs heavier. Ahh! I know it’s all water weight but damn that’s a lot of water weight. They also gave me potassium and it was so uncomfortable on my veins. Anyone can tell you it hurts..even when it’s diluted. It fked up my veins where on The last night in the ICU I had to get one of my IV’s replaced because anything that went through it (even saline) hurt . It was hurting even if nothing was running.

Anyways, I get cleared and transfer up to the medsurg unit. I was actually feeling pretty good considering just having surgery. I get my NG tube removed and am allowed teeny bits of water/ice. FINALLY. My throat can now get better! By the time I transferred I was making laps around the unit. I also get my wound vac removed. It was so painful because I developed a lot of blisters on the edges of the tape from the wound vac. It looked pretty gross. (Picture below). When they removed it, all the blisters broke and they even rubbed over it pulling the skin off. Then, one of my ivs stopped working so it had to be taken out. Luckily this unit only requires one IV not two like the ICU so I didn’t need it replaced.

Picture of the blisters

Picture of my incision with the wound vac and the jp drain.

Picture of my incision and blisters after wound vac removed

The next morning is where everything went downhill. I got super nauseous and eventually threw up 900cc of bile. My temp was around 101 degrees, and eventually got up to 103. I also had other signs/symptoms that showed that I got septic to something. I had to be transferred back to the ICU. Because they were not 100% sure where the infection came from (they had 2 guesses) I got 2 antibiotics that would treat both areas. My white blood cell count also dropped dramatically to 0.98 and my anc 0.74. This means that I was very susceptible to getting more infections. People had to wear a mask when they come to my room and I had to wear one when I left the room. The good news is my fever went away pretty quickly and I started feeling better. My wbc kept going up and down... I’m hoping it keeps trending up because I cannot leave the hospital until my wbc goes up and becomes stable. EEP.

While I was back in the ICU I had to get a second iv placed.. so now I have had 4 iv’s so far not including the arterial line). I’m connected to all the machines again and it takes forever for me to get to the bathroom since they have to disconnect all the monitors and attach it to a portable one so they made me use a bedside commode instead. Bedside commode?!?! The thought is just gross. I’m peeing and pooping in a room with just a curtain blocking the view. What if someone walked in to talk to me in the middle of my session? It was so nerve wrecking. I’ve cleaned up patients bedside commodes before and it’s fine but now can say that I really understand why patients apologized all the time.

After another 2 days in the icu and being septic.. And another iv needing to be replaced bc it infiltrated.. (apparently my veins are mad weak from all the meds and chemo) (now iv #5) I am finally better to go back to the Med surg unit. I’m transferred back and it feels so nice to use abnormal bathroom again. I’m still only allowed clear fluid and honestly.. even that was hard to do. I had to drink a minimum of 800cc a day and it was a struggle. So many days of not eating and drinking screwed me up. Plus I kept having this underlying nausea that just wouldn’t go away. It turned out I had a small ileus as well- A complication that can happen from abdominal surgery.

Everyday I got blood drawn twice a day.. and lovenox which is a blood thinner to prevent blood clots. Prior to lovenox, they were giving me heparin (which is 3 times a day..). My body was full of bruises all over.

Picture of some of the bruises on my arms. I had a bunch on my thighs too..

Anywho, I’m finally allowed to eat.. and man that was more of a struggle than drinking.. I would take one or two bites and be done.. it didn’t help that the hospital food was completely disgusting.. even simple foods you think they can’t mess up on.. was just gross. I was asked by family what I felt like eating so they can bring it.. but honestly I had no appetite at all. Completely different from when I was on steroids and eating nonstop.. lol. But I tried.. hard.. to eat and drink enough. They wanted to start me on tpn which is the total nutrition through a central line.. and I was not about to have it. I gave a hard hell no.

I could barely sleep.. it just felt like my stomach was being pulled or stretched apart when I moved.. was woken up non stop for meds/ vitals.. when I was able to doze off.. my days pretty much consisted of eating, taking a couple laps around the unit, napping, and repeat. I was still getting some iv fluids to help keep me hydrated.. and of course.. another iv infiltrates.. and another iv had to get started... I had a total of 6iv’s and an arterial line.. it was utterly ridiculous.. I had no more places for ivs! And I freaking hate ivs and getting poked.. but that’s all I got during this stay.. so many I lost count.. sigh..

On and off during my stay but especially the last couple of days, I had severe lower right abdomenal pain that was sharp and jabby. I prevented me from moving at all.. it was downright horrible and worse than my incision.. no one knew what it was from but I guessed maybe the drain that was inside.. I got a ct scan done and it didn’t show anything there but the drain so I got it removed.. the pain immediately disappeared!! It was such a relief!! No pain meds helped at all.. not even the slightest.. so having that relief felt so good. The drain coming out though.. felt like so much pressure and it felt like the spot that hurt was getting pulled on. I swear that drain was stuck there or something.. it was a good amount in my stomach.. I didn’t realize how much of the drain just sat in there.. kinda gross. And yes, I watched the whole thing... hahah.

Another complication I have is that my left upper thigh is numb.. and has been numb.. it never got and still hasn’t gotten any better.. I thought it was the duramorph I got during surgery but after a week it seemed unlikely.. the dr says that it’s most likely because the retractor they used to hold my abdomen opened was pressed on my thigh nerve since I’m smaller than the average patient and dmged it from it being compressed for 8hrs.. he says it will take weeks to months for my leg to return to normal.. hopefully.. but that there is a chance it won’t.. god I hope it comes back. It feels so weird and annoying to have the top of my thigh permanently numb ...

Finally my wbc is stable and continuing to trend upward (although still low) and I’m allowed to go home.. I could not wait to see my babies (my dogs), my family, and just sleep in my own bed!!

Sorry, I know this post was all over the place... i wrote parts of it at different times.. which is why some seems present and some past tense.. and I’m honestly not in the mood to go and fix it all. I will post again how my recovery is going at home soon.

Thank you all for your love and support. ❤️

[kataracy]

My job just does not care that rent is like 400+ huh cool cool im about to go awf under this read more if yall dont mind

FREGIURGTTKJLKKSAKDSFKAFSLJL GOD FUCKING FUCK?WHAT IS THE DEAL FFFFFFF ok story time:

So I work at corner bakery cafe its a weird fusion fast casual place where i make $9/hr, less than what i’ve made from my  last jobs but incredibly close to where i live like deadass across the street. So I have a manager that I steadily don’t get along with, he’s a blowhard. He picks a person to be mad at for the day, he hovers, he treats the girls there like his personal punching bags and I noticed all of that and started to dislike him to the point where I just couldn’t work with him. 

I would go in on days where he would close, because i work the night shift (my job favors the day shift btw. They only care about having people work in the day shift the dont give a fuck about night crew is ridiculous how much the dont clean up after their shifts and we have to pick up behind these grown ass women) and i would noticeably make little o no effort to converse with him, I just went in, did my job and went home. 

He would write me up for not saying hi to him. He would constantly start telling the GM I was being insubordinate when i was literally doing everything good at my job except talking to his sensitive ass. So I complained to the GM. I begged him to not put me on any more shifts with this manager because i was Tired of getting written u for nothing and I was tired of not having fun at my job. I was getting anxiety attacks while working with this dude it was so bad because again, he HOVERS. HE STANDS IN THE FRONT WHEN THERE IS OTHER STUFF TO DO AND JUST FUCKING HOVERS LIKE CAN YOU GO FIND SOMETHING TO DO and my GM said ok its fine we know (BECAUSE THE DONT LIKE HIM EITHER WE LITERALLY WOULD TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH WE DID NOT LIKE THIS DUDE OK NONE OF THE MANAGERS LIKE HIM) we will try not to put you on the same shift, we’ll let Z (the scheduling manager) know and if u do have to be scheduled with him make sure you find a cover and we’ll tell him to leave you alone because we know you know how to do your job.

So. That was a fucking lie.

They keep scheduling him with me. I tell another manager I don’t like him and why and he says I get it I’ll let B (GM) know. 

So I keep getting scheduled with him. And how the hell am I supposed to know when because, the managers have an entirely different schedule thats just their shifts and its fucking private. They end up scheduling me with him again and again and I just don’t show up one day I let the night manager know hey im not coming in on these 2 days, i found someone for this day but not this one so i hope yall find someone.

And then the next day, im getting called by a coworker like hey where are you are you coming in and i say no. no im not. i gave the managers plenty of time ( a whole fucking day) to find someone else bc they know i dont like working with this man. i said im not coming in repeatedly. im not coming in. but the coworker keeps fucking picking at me and saying hey they dont have anyone can you please come and then i get so pissed off i say im on my way and when i get there the fucking manager says you can go home i found someone.

I get so pissed. Why did you keep calling me then?

I didn;t call you they called you.

and the coworker that kept calling me and making me feel guilty for not wanting to work with this man who makes me uncomfortable and pissed and anxious, is my boyfriend. My fucking boyfriend decided this job was more important than my feelings that day and it was beyond hurtful dude im tearing up just talking about it because god it hurt, it was like a dramatic ass betrayal (AND THAT JOB IS SO DRAMATIC BY THE WAY THEY WILL GET SO FUCKING UNCOORDINATED OVER A SMALL RUSH ITS THE STUPIDEST SHIT)

So I go back there and im so angry now. Why have you been blowing up my phone to tell me to come in and being so dramatic. There arent even any customers in here. Why did you keep calling me asking me to come in when they already found somebody.

They just found somebody.

So you could call me and even come back home to fucking say they asked you to come get me> But you cant find the time to pick up the phone again and send a quick nvm?

The next day im scheduled. Another write up from the manager who loves writing me up. because he couldn’t be a fucking manager and just find a replacement no, he had to call and tattle-tell on me to the GM for nothing. I get called in to office by the scheduling manager.

So GM asked me to have you read this, its a warning. I heard you have problems with B and I din’t know that.

I find out they never fucking told the scheduling manager. they lied to me to just keep me coming in.

And... listen. look. I get that everyone in that place must have a complaint. I get that the managers must hear complaints all the time but. just because they do, does not mean my complaint matters less. Im a young woman who is uncomfortable working with an older male manager, how about yall give a shit about that at least. This job didnt care about me the entire time and that hurts even fucking more.

So now, im only getting two days. Because instead of the other managers just stepping up and working the easy night shift, instead of being accommodating and considerate, they decide to just shit on my feelings like this. 

The last time I went in. the manager is fucking talking to me because thats what fucking happens. The more you work with someone like that, the more they get use to you not liking them and being uncomfortable with them and they decide they dont fucking care, that they dont have o be accountable. that they can just keep messing with you. My last shift was so anxiety riddled I had to excuse myself 5 times (I counted the tissues) to go fucking cry because of how awful it felt to just, be surrounded by so many people who have the power to do something and yet, decide they just dont feel like it. 

He keeps his shifts and i have to deal with having 2.

He works on salary, I have  9 dollars an hour.

my bf and i had to move out of our 1 bedroom that we share with his dad because we needed the space and rent is an extra $100. I broke my glasses last month and cant afford to get replacements so i have been straining my eyes faily. I have to pay a full internet bill from my account and my bf gives me half of that. the dog wont stop fucking barking and giving the cat fleas. My mother and I dont speak, we have no relationship. I dont want to ask my aunts for money any more than i already do, i have no family out here, i only have like 3 friends that are close enough to visit and even then, i dont have a car and “close” equals driving distance and... i’m just

I am so exhausted haha. its been such a long few months. The ups and downs are there but, the downs have been so much more amplified lately its hard to see a silver lining so i just, idk, I dont know. I do not know.

I got our new schedule today. Only two days. This ko-fi stuff and this commission stuff guys its what i have right now. Its what i need to work because nothing else is. lol im not a begging person, im not like... this. Im not so open but, i could really use any help right now, please. Just share the links, if u dont see something u like maybe someone else will, and that hope is the only thing i can look forward to right now. thanks for reading this far if u did. thanks for listening to me yell about avatar for all these years thanks for following me and giving me notes and making me laugh and making me smile and im burned out after all of this so, take care guys.

[paulsolorzano]

11.15.18

I’ve been sticking to the ketogenic diet nicely. I believe I’m down 19 lbs today after a month or so if doing it.

I’ll have to start integrating in some exercise.

I’ve even been able to combat the munchies by making adjustments to what I eat. Mostly pistachios. But I gotta cool it on them too because I think they’re screwing with my bowels when I eat too many and get up in the morning.

—-

I stare at the Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. I get this shit every day currently. No sugar, cream only. I swirl it like wine; watch the white cream mix itself with the brown. Ice cubes clanking against each other and the plastic cup.

I consider reducing my carbon footprint. How though? I imagine getting containers with the same dimensions as my favorite foods/drinks: the coffee stuff, chipotle bowls, metal straws.

I’ll add it to the list.  

—-

Drank an assload of wine with my boy Mac from work. We are going for our level one sommelier in December. Long story short we were supposed to work a party,  but we ended up getting cut and hanging at work and drinking wine instead.

Listening to:

Bomb the music industry! - Adults!!!

Bomb the music industry! - goodbye cool world

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Tofubeats - first album

Flamingosis - pleasure palette

Lifted bells - minor tantrums

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Dunkin’ Donuts coffee

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I don’t wanna go outside because I might have a terrible day and get sent home” - Bomb the music industry!

“If I do nothing, will anything happen?” - lifted bells

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.14.18

I smoked so much out of the oil pen last night after getting out of work. From the parking garage all the way to the house. Tina was already smoking and drinking shit red wine from Walgreens. Yellowtail merlot. Tina is the lady I live with for the moment since getting back to Orlando.

—

I met with Frank yesterday. It was good. We hung at the house for a while; I spoke to his wife Jess for a while also. They have a dog named Microchip. Hes like 15 years old. Little scraggly looking thing. Hes on his way out: can’t see, can’t hear, shits himself, back legs barely work. Frank and his wife were debating on weather to put him down. He’s ok with it, Jess doesn’t want to. Time is probably going to take care of the decision for them.

So Frank and I left and went to our old Starbucks haunt up the road from him. The Starbucks right there boy the chipotle on Colonial. We chatted about music and listened to some old shit of mine: Brightline Spectrum (I was in this band with my boys Earl Hoback and Adam Heidrick. We ran through a string of bass players until we got Frank on board); also, a band called Gift to the Greedy, which we can appreciate now as older adults.

Frank and I don’t meet too often, but that is going to change. We are what I would call musical soulmates, in the sense of we probably are the most adaptable and accepting of new and different genres of any music. We’ve always been fans of the cream of the crop across all the genres.

The short stories here are:

I want to become Frank’s protege: I want to get caught up on his production techniques, and start making my own music again.

Frank wants me to become his manager of sorts. Just to facilitate shows etc; his sticking point is the marketing side of things so Im gonna come in and start attempting to handle some of that.

—

I still need to write about:

•           Time in Bradenton with Danielito and the rest of my family

•           Mother had a heart attack

•           Rachel getting a divorce

•           Back to Orlando

•           Back to STK

•           Living with Tina Watkins

•           Becoming awesome

•           Getting healthy after the summer of slop

•           Three weeks of weed and YouTube poops

Listening to:

Neon Indian - psychic chasms

Crystal Castles - III

Sir mix a lot - Swass

Sir mix a lot - Seminar

Serengeti - Kaleidoscope

Serengeti - Kenny Dennis ep

Tomggg - Art Nature

in the blue shirt - Sensation of Blueness

Lazycain - July to October

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Wheat grass juice powder

Dunkin’ Donuts coffee

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“You once had a dream but your grandma stole it” Sir Mixalot

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.13.18

(I meant to write all this last night but smoked too much so here it is)

So we all aired our grievances ( mostly Tttt and Aaaaaaaaa) and had a drink. I had some johnnie walker black label, as I’ve been on a whiskey kick lately, mostly due to the keto diet.

So then we all leave the bar around 1:30 and head to the parking garage. Tttt has her husband on the phone who has been waiting for her, so she’s occupied, and goes her separate way as we walk to the Orange garage (Disney Springs has lots named after fruit haha orange, lime , strawberry)

Aaaaaaa and I go to her car on level one; she drives me over to where my car is on the other side of level one. We get to chatting in her car.

Mostly about her likely soon to be ex xcvbnm. I’m not saying I’m waiting to swoop in but I’m kind of waiting to swoop in.

For some reason about a week ago, I just felt compelled to walk up to her and start talking. It felt pretty natural. So I went with it and suggested we should do something in the future. And we got on the topic of her doing art etc. So she’s crafty like that also, which is a bonus because I had no idea.

Anyway, we chatted in her car for probably over an hour. Mostly her getting the bf troubles off her chest. I feel like she has no one to talk to on these matters so I just let her go off.

I know I’m treading the line of being the ‘gay friend’ shoulder to cry on. But I continue to make it know that my involvement is romantic in intention. And she’s down from what I can tell.

Her sticking point is that she has been drawn in to this narcissists web of gaslighting and the like. He breaks her down and then continually reels her back in. They’ve already broken up once and had mini break ups also.

—-

Met with Frank today.

Listening to:

Tokyo Elvis

Lifted bells

There / They’re / There

Owen

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Went a little nuts o there polyvinyl site with some sale shit

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.12.18

Continuing wine studies for the level one class / exam coming up December 7-8. I gotta lock in my spot and pay the $600. Semi pricey but def worth the investment. It’ll look good at STK and also on the resume if and when the time comes.

—-

1:30 or so am. Aaaaaaaaa, the girl from work I’ve been chatting with, we finally made it out after work for a drink. We went to raglan road, which is right next to STK. Another girl Ttttttttttt (who I also work with and, is a rat in Chinese zodiac, same as my brother)  came along as well, as she had a bad night at work behind the bar.

—-

Listening to:

Foo Fighters - there is nothing left to lose

Bit Brigade - Castlebandia

Bit Brigade - Contra

Misfits - collection

Piebald - nobody’s robot

Van Cliburn - Beethoven pathetique  

Noname- telefone

Galant - ology

Watching:

Reading:

CMS introductory wine course book pdf. This is for the sommelier level one exam

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

DD coffee cream only

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Can’t you hear my motored heart? You’re the one who started it” - Foo Fighters

“What good is a sword, next to a shotgun?” - Galant

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.11.18

Sundays off at the abortion clinic. I drive by this thing every day; it’s right by the house. Always like one person out there with a sign.

Smoking in your vehicle

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - worry

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

Sufjan Stevens - Planetarium

Tokyo Elvis - nice and pleasant

Bit brigade - Zelda

Bit brigade - Metroid

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Skipped the

Playing:

Purchases:

Basquiat art book

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.10.18

More wine studies. Gonna get Mac on board with a study session with Lionel.

Interested in a BMW 5 series on sale at a lot where Yaqeen’s boy works.  I need to get a car. This rental is costing me $800 a month.

Listening to:

Carl Cox - all roads lead to the dance floor

Nine inch nails - broken

Misfits - walk among us

Anal Trump - the first 100 songs

Anal Cunt - everyone should be killed

Grimes - art angels

Jeff Rosenstock - worry

Jeff Rosenstock - POST

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

Watching:

YouTube -

where are the best place to grow wine

Carbonic maceration

Wine on the lees

Reading:

Eating:

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Dunkin’ Donuts coffee

Chipotle bowl: no beans, no rice, double meat, sauteed onions/peppers, hot salsa, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Resin bootlegs

Lyric of the day:

“Kiss me hard like a garbage movie” - Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.09.18

About three days ago I started talking to this girl Aaaaaaaaa from work

She started there when I was In Alaska.

So we got to chatting at work and I learned a little about her: 36 and divorced finally, 17 year old daughter, and apparently she can’t hang on to a man (according to her), and self proclaimed low self esteem. But the last three days we’ve gotten a little close at work and want to make plans.  

Shes seems cool, she has some ‘on again off again’ guy in her life but she said she hasnt heard much from him the last few weeks. Although I just hit her up now after she got out of work, and she said he may come over or something to see her.

All that bullshit aside, I think she may not be too too emotionally invested at this point, but maybe hanging on for some last scrap of whatever, hopefully closure. I mean I don’t mind seeing her while shes still invovoled with someone,  but if he continues on his trend of not showing her off publicly etc (this is according to her, which was a point of contention for her of course), the situation is gonna sort itself out.

Im going to press on either way. Not wait in the wings, but try to get her out of course. And always escalate with male/female intent. She knows im interested that way so its all good.

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - POST

Jeff Rosenstock - We cool?

NOFX - wolves in wolves clothing

NOFX - Ribbed, Live in a Dive

Ben Folds - So there

Me first and the gimme gimmes - are we not men? We are diva!

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Wheat grass juice powder drink

Dunkin’ Donuts coffee cream no sugar

Chipotle bowl: no beans, no rice, double meat, sauteed onions/peppers, hiot salsa, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce

Pollo tropical - these mofos had no fucking curry mustard and it chaps me

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“You taught me nothing; I owe you nothing. How can I forget you when there’s nothing to forget?” - So there by Ben Folds

“You’re gonna die in someone else arms, and I have to live with that. I hope you have a good life” - Armor for Sleep

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.08.18

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Sufjan Stevens - lonely man of winter 7 inch preorder

Rozwell Kid - Precious Art (Purple/Orange Vinyl)

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - POST , worry , we cool?

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.07.18

Guy and his girlfriend came to their storage space, gave me a little acknowledgment. He had her pull him on the dolly thing, like he was surfing. I’ve done that a million times here.

Listening to:

Paul’s radio station on Apple Music

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Jermaine Rodgers Choices preorder

Beatles white album reissue preorder

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Two become one; a cacophony of a car crash” - minus the bear

“I miss you less and less every day; it’s true the whisky helps to wash you away” - Margot and the nuclear so and so’s

“Nicotine Valium Vicodin marijuana ecstasy and alcohol... ccccccccocaine!” - queens of the Stone Age

By fishbone:

“Unyielding conditioning
Tune out from all that's happening
Nobody deserves empathy
Nobody feels for me

We've all been trained by our worlds

I cannot see no one but me
No one can feel my emptiness
Everybody must fend for themselves
There is no openness

We've all been claimed by our worlds [x2]

But I have heard of ways
That say there's light beyond the darkness
And everyone can keep their children warm
And togetherness will guide us safely
Through all storms

Unyielding conditioning
Remove all trace of memory
No one needs justice anymore
No voices raised in anger

We've all been tamed by our worlds [x2]

But I have heard of ways
Where people topple all injustice
No one lives their lives on bended knees
And all bigotry is like a disease
Drowned in the sea
And all can hold their head up high!”

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.06.18

Storage space days. Food and wine studies, trimming down the shit in the space and consolidating. Attempting to keep forward momentum and grind the business as I can.  

Listening to:

Millencolin - For Monkeys

Millencolin - Pennybridge Pioneers

Deadmau5 - For lack of a better title

S/s/s (Sisyphus) - beak and claw

Watching:

Reading:

Karen MacNeil’s Wine bible

Kevin Zraly’s windows on the world wine book

Eating:

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Dunkin’ Donuts coffee no sugar cream only

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“Its not about the resources you have but how resourceful you are”

8 ball questions and answers

“Is Xxxxxx doing ok?”

“Outlook not so good”

Hashtags:

11.05.18

Ive been watching wine and champagne videos lately. Just been trying to step up my game at Stk. also considering going for my level 1 in sommelier. Its a huge undertaking but the benefits and the street cred would be worth it I believe.

I have to get better. At everything in life. The last couple weeks I have been stepping things up at work. Getting in that groove of talking about the gig every day.

I need to get a vehicle. Ive been renting a new car from Enterprise for $200 a week. Putting that shit on credit. Been putting a lot on credit since returning to FL. But no worries. The STK will provide. Just taking these baby steps.

—

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - Worry

Jeff Rosenstock - We Cool?

Paul Solorzano radio station

Braid - movie music vol. 1

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot, Kale/spinach/lemon juice/stevia drink, wheat grass juice powder

Coffee from dunkin donuts

Bacon

Chipotle bowl: no beans, no rice, double meat, sauteed onions/peppers, hiot salsa, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce

Playing:

havent been on FFXIV  since I got back to Orlando

Purchases:

Mineral - 25 years of mineral book/10” record with new songs

Super 7 Misfits 3.75 figs

Goodwill finds:

Star Wars power of the force, Han Solo figure, carded and sealed, Slightly damaged card slightly damaged bubble package.

Random comic book assortment, Image comics with cool covers, vintage ‘death of Superman’ era comics:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“What I don’t know Is how I could be so incredibly stupid” - Duncan Sheik

“I gotta let you know while you’re alive

Cause everybody loves you when you die”

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.03.18

I got YouTube premium there other day. Don’t know if I mentioned that.

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - Worry

Smashing pumpkins - cherub rock

Watching:

Food / wine / champagne pairing YouTube vids

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot , Kale/spinach/lemon juice/stevia drink , wheat grass juice powder

coffee from dunkin donuts

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.02.18

Working on soliciting places for the business. I think one of my niches will be wine companies because I’m on a wine kick now, and working with these places will help me on my wine studies.

Listening to:

Watching:

YouTube:

Veuve vids

champagne vids

food pairing vids

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Kale/spinach/lemon juice/stevia drink

Wheat grass juice powder (day one with this)

Dunkin Donuts coffee, no sugar, cream only  

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

11.01.18

Ive been trying to wake up a little earlier lately.

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

10.31.18

My first business related phone call! My boy Darren from STK became the GM over at Tasting Room Orlando.

I sent him an audit a few days ago of where they were at with their social media and what we could do immediately to get things moving, along with a few ideas for down the road shit. He's gonna bring it to the investors and get back to me. Either way I'm stoked.

—

Look up year of the comet vintage 1811

Listening to:

Benton Falls

Watching:

Social media marketing program: outsourcing

YouTube: wine studies, Santa Barbara coast

Veuve Clicquot vids

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Nothing makes me happy; I’m like a shitty child” - Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

“I know our champagne will shine above heaven” - Nicole Clicquot

“We always have to prove we deserve our name and rank” - Nicole Clicquot

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

10.30.18

More storage space cleaning

Started an Instagram for my storage space to sell shit: Instagram.com/paulsstoragespace

Listening to:

Madvillian

Fourtet

I fight dragons

J Dilla

Brandtson

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Credit buys you everything except love” - Benton Falls

“Slip like Freudian; the first and last step to play yourself like accordion” - Madvillain

Quote of the day:

“If drunk you thinks sleeping with someone is a good idea, then sober you is just you lying to yourself” - me

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

10.29.18

Had a great work night at STK. I saw a little results from my Orin Swift wine studies. Sold a bottle of Abstract to my table, and also sold one to my boy Luis’ table; the was in my neighboring section.

It’s inspiring to see some result in sales. That’s my goal lately is to get good at sales because we sell ourselves every day. So I’ve been boning up a little. I’m also considering studying for my level one sommelier. My boy Mac I work with is interested in it also.

Listening to:

Tokyo Elvis

Watching:

Judge Judy ytp my brother just sent along haha

Mentorbox: five things to do to hook prospects

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

Healeymade quackulas

Larry David curb your enthusiasm bootleg fig from Killer Bootlegs

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

10.27.18

At chipotle. Modifying burrito bowls to conform to my ketogenic diet. I’m  down ten lbs thus far. It’s been a couple weeks soon.

Had sex with a girl last night. She likes me. I’m just emotionally not there.

Today is oct 27. A red letter day in my life. It’s chronicled right here:

http://thekittycatandtheconman.tumblr.com

My love letter of a novella written to and about Zzzzzz Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzz, also known as The First Zzzzzz.

Listening to:

Ozma

The rentals

Feadz

Mr. Oizo

Handbraekes

Roswell Kid

Antarctigo Vespucci

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot,

Kale/spinach/lemon juice/stevia drink

Chipotle bowl: double meat, sautéed onions/peppers, hot salsa, sour cream, cheese, guacamole, lettuce

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I breathe your name, and suddenly I feel happy again” - Ozma

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

“Is Xxxxxx ok?”

“Don’t count on it”

“Should I attempt to contact her?”

“My sources say no”

It ain’t time yet.

Hashtags:

#thekittycatandtheconman

10.26.18

I saw Piebald in Tampa last night with Danielito who came up from bradenton. They played all the hits. I got the two shirts they were selling. Ah, merch. Definitely falls under the umbrella of ‘stuff lust’

I still need to write about:

•           Time in Bradenton with Danielito and the rest of my family

•           Mother had a heart attack

•           Rachel getting a divorce

•           Back to Orlando

•           Back to STK

•           Living with Tina Watkins

•           Becoming awesome

•           Getting healthy after the summer of slop

•           Three weeks of weed and YouTube poops

Listening to:

Watching:

Orin Swift wine vids on YouTube

Will wink and the chalk factory ytp

Reading:

Eating:

apple cider vinegar shot, kale/spinach drink

Scrambled eggs w/ heavy cream , sliced turkey , creamy cheese spread with chive flavor,

Playing:

Purchases:

Dr bergs wheat grass juice powder (I used to use this stuff daily before Alaska, along with the kale drink and apple cider vinegar)

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Trying to not find your plans; like combing a beach with more sand” - Fat and Skinny Asses by Piebald  

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:

#Piebald #ytp #drberg #drericberg

10.25.18

I suppose I’ll get back into the journaling now. Much has happened even since Alaska:

•           Time in Bradenton with Danielito and the rest of my family

•           Mother had a heart attack

•           Rachel getting a divorce

•           Back to Orlando

•           Back to STK

•           Living with Tina Watkins

•           Becoming awesome

•           Getting healthy after the summer of slop

Listening to:

#Sufjan

#Serengeti

#Piebald

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Kale/spinach drink

Eggs with heavy cream

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Oh life, with your colorful surprises” - Sufjan  

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers

Hashtags:s