#im seriously so crazy over the monkees rat nao but im not acting like they're perfect humans who will never dissapoint
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realising how much more self aware i became about not stanning celebrities too hard + not feeling personally wounded by them after j** said that bullshit earlier this year
#i used to cry cry cry about day6 breaking up and i was in saur much emotional turmoil over j** but.#well after that i fully realised that#this makes me sound sooooo immature but anyway the point is that was my turning point#now i stan mike nesmith but i also hate him. those 2 can coexist. celebrities are not your friends and owe you nothing#you can choose to drive yourself crazy over their actions. or you can just call them a flop and move on#realising that that's why i kind of found mike's book refreshing..... like it's way more fun to understand that someone's a piece of shit#and still enjoy them and their work#but to not get too overly invested#im seriously so crazy over the monkees rat nao but im not acting like they're perfect humans who will never dissapoint#i think the other thing is obv the over produced kpop idol image#when you've been into kpop since you were 16 it does feel kind of hard to break free from viewing it all thru this manufactured lens#which makes this whole monkees thing even more interesting. they're manufactured but as much as im crazy abt them im still 10x more#normal abt them than i ever was any kpop idol#i think getting into kpop set me back so much tbh like. just the overproduced manufactured side. you have to realise they're all pretending#this is all fake#it's just less noticeable than say the monkees#anyway. that is all. goodnight.#diary
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