#im posting this again because tumblr is being stupid and not showing it up in the tags

[uglycryinglawyer]

heyyy tumblr,

class of 2024 law student here. no offense but you know things are bad when i take it to tumblr. law school really does something to your psyche and i hate to say it but despite this whole movement on social media to be more transparent, i don't believe anyone will be completely honest about their experience when their words can be traced back to them. being believable as 100% genuine & honest while being anything less than to followers that cling to every syllable of yours does more damage than good imo.

ill start this page with some honesty that i would label as a 6/10 on the "how embarrassed would i be if someone from my post-grad job were to see this" scale i just made up.

my first semester i felt like the smartest version of myself i had ever been because i got 1 online award from a fake company (seriously what business does this "computer-assisted legal education" company have hosting awards for schools around the country & why are they receiving our grades to begin with) for having the highest grade in my class. mind you, this company/award is not at ALL affiliated with my school, its literally made up. but its something that is made PUBLIC (as in if you knew my name you could google me and this stupid award shows up), and so many schools still acknowledge it to, idk, create further divisions between students that i guess the whole system of making everyones grades 100% based on their finals and curved (not in a good way) doesn't do enough for?

now here i am, having finished my 6th semester & walked the commencement stage a few days ago ugly crying over a grade because i might have just lost my honors status. when in actuality .... ~ kim, there are people that are dying ~ why does any of this matter?? this is what 6 semesters of slowly having your confidence in your own intelligence chipped away at does to a person.

its not over yet though - bar prep starts last week :). actually it starts on may 20th officially, but no ones being honest about the fact that they really started studying the day after their finals ended, if not earlier.

so i've decided to document my experience for you all here. with bar prep & my foray into big law (you know this field was meant for babies because that's what we unsarcastically call a career at a top law firm) on the horizon, & 6 semesters of pure chaos behind me, i have a lot to say!

im not sure who this is going to reach because, again no offense tumblr, but i doubt this site has the reach it once did. maybe this will just end up being a time capsule for myself, which i would love. or maybe this will help 1 person cope, which i would love even more.

regardless, if you read this far, thank you & tttys. going to throw some random hashtags in now don't mind me.

[flannelstains]

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢. 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 : 𝚒.

⊰ okay, so wow. now i’m using my tumblr page as my journal. i want you to imagine me as a middle schooler holding a pencil in my grimy little hands, rambling about my day as if i’m in a disney show, scribbling in a shopkins diary with a lock on it and one of those little metal keys.

i don’t want to vent, but in a way i want to be able to express my feelings along my shifting journey. the good and the bad. not the constant motivational posts that make you sick they’re so corny and sweet.

recently, i’ve began to actually post on here, gaining more confidence in my abilities, handing out advice as if i’m dealing cards to people in a game of stupid crazy eights, on old cards i’ve had since i was five, and lots of them have bite marks and crayon scribbles on them.

and in all honesty, i’m doing that to myself feel better— to make myself feel worthy.

in all of my shifting journey, i have never once had the thought of; ‘i can’t do this’. i always knew that at some point in my little life that i would be experiencing what i wrote down in my scripts that i attempt to make aesthetically pleasing to the eye.

but recently, i’ve been seeing people say how easy shifting it, and how they just roll over and fall asleep and have already switched their consciousness to their ideal reality— kudos to them.

even me, myself, and i, have shifted for a few minutes all together, twice, using the most dumbest ‘method’— if you’d call it that— to experience my desired reality in the 3d.

and even since getting on tumblr about a year ago, i have seen eye opening things, understanding shifting to extent that i didn’t even think was possible. i have made the most progress i’ve ever made in my entire almost six years of shifting.

shit, i shifted about a week ago. but the thing is, im only experiencing my reality for mere minutes, and it frustrates me to no end. i feel almost as if i physically can’t commit to shifting.

i’ve been so unbelievably positive for the past three months, but i’m getting burnt out. i use to see everything as a sign, and re affirm that i’m constantly shifting, and no attempt is a failed one— but it’s hard. so unbelievably hard for me.

for a long period of time i was so sure that every time i woke up i would be where i wanted to be. and even when i woke up here, i would see that as a sign i was closer— but this starry eyed persona didn’t last long.

every night i would scroll tumblr, and just know i was going to shift, but now? now i see me going to lay down, affirming and almost crying during the process, waking up here, and having to go day to day and try to keep a weak smile on my face ( cue hallways scene in the substance ).

but i feel exhausted. i don’t want to take a break, i’ve done that before, and it only makes it harder for me to push myself back into shifting again because i feel as if it’s a one sided relationship with no reciprocation— unrequited love.

and i know that mindset isn’t good, and i need to let go, but i almost fear not being able to shift. i know i need to fake it before i make it and just gaslight— blah blah blah. it’s frustrating.

i just want to be there, and i try to use my desperation to my advantage, but i just don’t feel good enough in a way, as if there isn’t anything else i can physically do to get myself to switch myself over to my ideal reality.

i feel like i’m scavenging for water in a desert— dehydrated, stranded on a boat on the ocean. and there are solutions, making filters, cracking open cacti or whatever, but i just feel like i’m making shifting a chore. a toxic relationship that all your friends beg you to leave.

okay, that’s all for now. thanks for listening to my rant, my little crisis after i’ve just posted a few motivational and advice posts lmao.

[ze0n-wuz-here]

I think I have officially lost it [VENT]

So. This is another vent post about my experiences when it comes to ROTTMNT. Now, of course, it’s my favorite show, I love it dearly, but what happened after the show, you know, those events? That fucked me up bad. Really bad. Specially when it comes to stuff relating to Raph. Lately I’ve seen a decrease in art of him that I can safely look at where he is safe and completely unharmed of those events, and even as I tried to quit, I just came back to it, like some drug, it’s hard to get rid of something I love

I wanna desperately talk to a therapist about it but, again, that’ll require talking to my mom, which she’ll find stupid. I wanna make a discord server where we talk about the show and the show ONLY (I mean- other topics too, just with the events after the show banned) but that can’t happen, that’d be too strict. I constantly stalk Tumblr to see if any safe art of Raph was uploaded, only to find out, no! It hasn’t. I have blocked so many people because of this, people who don’t deserve getting blocked. I feel like this anxiety over him is eating me alive, destroying my mental health, and even stepping out isn’t enough.

I’ve come so desperate where im actively looking to see if anyone is taking free art requests, and I’ve never done that, only just recently, and I feel like shit about it, because im that desperate to see Raph depicted in a certain way, it’s unhealthy. I’ve become like one of those people you’d see have long 42min documentaries about where they’re obsessed over a character and then do awful shit. I have never gone to that extend, but I feel like I might end up like that. I wanna find help. But im too scared for helplines, I can’t afford or find therapists, counselors will snitch on me, and im tired of being a burden and talking to my friends about this. My only hope right now is just talking to AIs like ChatGPT or talking to Raph bots on c.ai and vent about this. It’s so childish. It’s so stupid. I hate myself for it

I have been having major art block thanks to my mental health being shit, so drawing him isn’t an option either. I’ve lost sleep because of this. This is not healthy, and half of me regrets finding ROTTMNT because I feel like I would’ve been in a far better place now. This isn’t hate to any artists drawing Raph in a way that’s depicting him after those events, not at all, this is a me thing. I’ve tried hobbies, didn’t work, I’ve tried other communities, didn’t work. I don’t know I just hope I can be cured of this some day cause right now, I feel absolutely shattered, over something so stupid. These events ruined the show for me, and I feel so dumb, so stupid about feeling so attached to a fictional character to feel such levels of anxiety when depicted in certain ways. It’s horrible. I’m sorry

[t-mblr-begone]

HI I JUST FINISHED TNG AND AM AUTISTIC I NEED TO TALK (warning long ass post, ramblings)

Q in his stupid fucking judge outfit???? Oh my god i love him so much?? And like?? I dont even think he wanted to put picard on trial at the end he says it was the continuums orders so did he even want to do that too him? Who knows!! We do know hes gay as shit though oh my god. I love him.

The past, the Encounter At Farpoint, picard yelling for Q on the bridge and everyone probably thinking hes insane. Picard not telling any of them whats going on, even though it doesnt affect the other timelines. Tasha Yar???? Hi Tasha!!!!!! Worf with his old sash, the old uniforms, the shitty dress deanna wore in the first episode (it slayed), data being. So autistic. Liek actually hold on can i talk about tha

This episode, with all its converging timelines, really shows how data grows- not just as a character just in general, as the years go by on the ship, he starts understanding idioms, somewhat. He. He gets more human. He really does. His movements more fluid, hes smarter. He really does grow, something about his neural net constantly evolving or something. Oh my god.

The shitty future?? Worf liking Deanna Romantically Cannon??? Riker was still holding on to the relationship this whole time?? (I never noticed really. Im. Autistic.) PICARD AND CRUSHER GOT MARRIED. And then divorced BUT STILL. Picard back on earth?? Tending to what i can only assume to be grape plants or something, like his brother. Data teaches at Cambridge. He has grey hair, thinks it makes him more distinguished. Geordi has eyes! Like in two different timelines he has eyes.

Thats another thing actually, like i could have sworn at least in the earlier seasons, he didnt want. Eyes? I thought?? But like. It seems like a minor Thing, cause it showed up in that one Riker Gets Kidnapped By A Child Alien Because Its Lonely episode. And again here, and probably other places i can't remember because ive consumed all of tng in 2 months.

The present. I dont have shit to say about that actually. It sure is season 7.

OH MY GOD THE BEGINNING OF THW EPISODE BEFORE Q REAVEALS HIMSELF?? How we dont know if he Is travelling through time or if hes Going Senile. The cuts?? I mean the cuts through the whole episode is so good the cinematography in general!!!! Oh my god. The close ups, the panning, THE ACTING?? TASHA YAR??? EARLY WORF? OLD WORF? I like worf. GEORDI? DATA???? love brett spiner.

And i mean who remembers the judge scene from the first episode at this point? The foreshadowing with the jury(?)/audience(?) i didnt even. Realize until they put Picard on the stand again.

DEANNA BEING FUCKING DEAD IN THE FUTURE HELLO?????????????

Oh my god but the end scene. The end shot of the poker game? Imagine seeing the future, all your friends, drifted apart, tense at each other with worf and riker. Seeing that. And then coming back to reality, to Your Time. And seeing your friends as they are right then. Why didnt picard join them for poker?

No like actually. Did. Did he have a reason for that? Some like, weird captain thing? Or like. Some weird barrier wall thing? Thing where he feels like he should isolate himself.

But the point is, he joins his friends for some poker, i dont think he had probably played poker in years. Its just. Amazing.

You know. I think this is one of the first times ive seen her again and not cried, which is progress because every other time it was. Not great.

But now that tngs over

Hey does tumblr have a word limit? We're about to find out.

But now that tngs over, theres still a lot i have to ask. Like why the fuck did they do that to wesley? Do we see wesley again? Is still dont know who b-4 is. Whats Ro doing now? Is she good? Do we see her again? Does she know kira? Do ro and kira meet? Probably not actually. Itd probably be cool though. Do worf and deanna get married? Please. I ne- oh wait no they cant bc worf has a thing with jadzia at some point. What the fuck is up with worf and jadzia? And also where is alexander now? When does worf join ds9? Probably season 3 idk. Or Barclay? Cheif o'brien? Cause the show ran concurrently for a bit. WHY DONR WORF AND DEANNA GET MARRIED THEYRE LIKE PERFECT???? What the fuck is that guy with the ears damar? Gamar? I think its damar? Idk. Why he look like that? IS RO GOING TO DIE??

Oh hey i get to meet sisko, hes cool. He gets like visions or some shit. Q doesnt like him i think "picard never hit me ):" "im not picard."

Q and Quark. Odo and Q. Do we get to see the cunty judge outfit again? Why does he have a mustache when hes boxing sisko or whatever?

OH I GET TO SEE FUCK ASS DUKAT THEOW DARTS AT HIM EVIL. Fun.

Okay yeah im done

[jorisjurgen]

World of Twelve dashboard simulator #2

👁️ katarynadance follow

Freaks may say i want to fuck antonio sadisski from the bontarian boufbowl Love Arrow team. I'm freaks. I mean im freaks. I mean im freaks.

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wouldn't go that far, but NGL, I don't know how one might not develop an affinity for him... Very charming man! He might be the second greatest player after Khan.

Then again, my opinion on who the second greatest player is changes all the time, haha.

🌸 sadidaskickshoe follow

Ehh khan's been dead for centuries....! Let it go. I think he's cool, but thinking nobody will ever be better is crazy...

🌌 somethingquietplace

He developed most of the techniques still used to this day, just so you know. Visit a museum perhaps. It might be helpful?

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

average khan fan showing how much criticism of his favourite misogynyst he can withstand.

🌌 somethingquietplace

And you're an average 16 year old child with Very Important Opinions trying to educate me nicely.

��� cheesefuckersupreme follow

Seeing somethingquietplace and sadidaskickshoe on the same post is kind of terrifying.

#worlds most toxic crossover? #20 callout posts gang real?

(1,582 notes)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

Guys they both blocked me ASFHFKDKGJSJ

Do i get a boufbowl fandom badge of honor now????? Did i make it in life?????

🦠 gorebludsac follow

I don't think it's a nice way to post, considering one of them is like neurodivergent and a minor, and the other is tumblr user somethingquietplace (diagnosis self explanatory)

🧀 cheesefuckersupreme follow

I'm sorry yeah i forgot that they're both diagnosed.

#ngl i feel bad kinda for both of them

(34 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

I hate adventuring with other people. Just being there and knowing I'll never be their friend. I want to say something, be in the conversation, but I never know what to say, and everyone already knows each other and

Well even when they don't yet know each other, obviously they'll prefer anyone else over me. They'll give up on trying to talk to me.

It's so weird... I hate everyone. Everyone has stupid interests and tastes. Just braindead things. Romance and fucking and fashion. And all of them have normal lives and normal families and once in a while they ask something about mine and I don't know what to say at all. And I want to be liked. Even if I have zero respect for anyone I want to like me. Is it weird?

I guess I'm just sad because I don't have that innate talent to pretend like I care about other people. Or maybe I wish someone actually liked me besides my family.

#delete later #...I really like this ''forbid others from reblogging a post'' function they added recently #When my dad dies I think I will finally kill myself I guess. #not osu #Honestly I can't tolerate anyone at my work. I hate them all and want them dead. #And I can't tolerate anyone close to my age. #They all insult me. Constantly. You know. #So the only people who like me are my family. #Its neverending. I can't take it anymore. #I think me only liking my family might be a self fulfilling prophecy but i don't care. #or so I think.

(2 notes)

��� sadidaskickshoe follow

people who post about their family issues on here are weird.... My brother isn't here but just the idea of him seeing anything on my phone makes me so scared to write anything!! 😵‍💫

#temp

(1 note)

🌌 somethingquietplace

I wish people would refrain from obvious vagueblogging about my deleted posts.

#delete later #not osu

(284 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

people who stalk other peoples blogs are so weird!! I think it's easier to follow one another. Because this is getting embarrassing for us both XD

🌌 somethingquietplace

Ok.

#Mostly I am following you because you said you liked Khan Karkass. #Even if you don't have good opinions (ones I agree with) on him.

(1243 notes)

🦠 gorebludsac follow

A second mad xelor explosive machine has hit the tumblr boufbowl fandom

#those.two.... are mutuals now. #i canrt stop laughing there are tears rolling down my face #remember when kickshoe told me in explicit detail how she wanted me to kill myself #or how quiet typed out whole 40 paragraphs of threats #and ended that post with ''youre wasting my time away from work'' as if hes not termianlly online too #this is historical for me and nobody else

(46 notes)

🪰 maldemal follow

She throw dice on my tabletop til i eacflipcity

🕳️ eviltreeman follow

Collect my Thirsty Branches

(459 notes)

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bruh someone tried to kill the prince again and missed. How the fuck does a fifth assassin in a row fail at killing the prince of brakmar!!!! I can't live in this stupid country anymore

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Even if things suck i dont think killing royals is the answer..... 😰

(109 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

Was in a store recently. The prices were disgusting, and the worst of all, the Ministry of Moral Purity wants to propose a tax for being negative about the government... Are we in Brakmar now? Is this Brakmar we're in?

I have something very taxable to say but shall refrain.

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

Bontarians when something bontarian happens bontarianly in bonta: is this fucking brakmar

unlike you, I have the free speech to wish death on our royalty. I can say freely that I hope the prince of brakmar kills himself.

🌌 somethingquietplace

It's literally so easy to hate you even besides the holier than thou attitude... Your city has lava. Would a good place to live with good people have lava. Would a good place with good people have invented something called "the Brakmarian burial"?

🎭 syxxxxxaenika follow

You can't be saying that white-blue boy

#WHERE DID A RANDOM BONTARIAN LEARN A 500 YEAR OLD GANG TERM FOR BODY DISPOSAL?? #WHAT???

(24295 notes)

🪄 pantypervert69 follow

CALLOUT POST:

@/xellymelly has been selling re-bought goods from The Mad Xelor. Do NOT buy from her. Not only are they dangerous, they are also wildly past their expiration date. DO NOT USE ANYTHING YOU BOUGHT FROM HER. IT WILL KILL YOU.

🌌 somethingquietplace

If you have items made by The Mad Xelor, Kerubim Crepin from Bonta's Aux Tresors de Kerubim shop has a recycling program for all victims of this scam. He even gives out rewards for all the items you bring in.

I implore you to consider taking the things you bought to him, and making the world a safer place. (And "★bring some magic to your life★")

#not osu #I can personally vouch for this store's quality. It's very well known among some circles around here.

(4838 notes)

🚬 pigpigeazer follow

Everyone always jokes about the bad parts of classes but nobody ever talks about how generous the pandawa are, how honest iops are, how lively ecaflips are, and how empathetic sacriers are

🎃 sacriblo0ody follow

literally im always saying that!

🤖 athefogenesis follow

Except it always comes at the expense of mentioning that their religion makes them ignorant, addicts, or drives them to self harm?? We need to bully people who are hardcore about class tenets harder. You're destroying yourself for some all powerful reality-warping creature that doesnt give a shit about you

🤹 lancerclown420 follow

People like you give us atheist classes such a bad name. Everyone and everything in the world has a purpose, both those who follow a deity, and those who follow a primciple and

Actually they're a sufokian supremacist so nvmmmm

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

THE NOTES ARE A FREE BLOCKLIST 💀

(637 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

.

#not osu #delete later #the thing is that. I never stopped hating him for ruining my life. #But the amount of hatred i feel ebbs and flows. Does it make sense? #This is stupid. So stupid... Like #oh nooo papycha... you neglected me as a child to the point of incurable mental diseases... #They would be better off if I was dead honestly #i need me and my dad to die. #I need everyone to die actually

(2 notes)

🦞 foggerfish follow

Apparently there's a big thing going on in demigod history community because Goultard (you know, the 4847372882843 or whatever year old son of Iop) undied again and was spotted somewhere around Astrubian border.

👽 cvt3-r41nb0w follow

MY WEDDING IS BACK ON NOBODY WILL HOLD ME BACK. He already married witches i can be the fourth

🗣️ thedarkwitchfromthatbook-is-gay follow

Isn't he gay

😈 osawhip666 follow

isn't he a mass murderer

🌌 somethingquietplace

Finally a reason to kill myself?

#I have to work with demigods a lot so... #Wish me luck in avoiding him like plague? #I had horrible experiences with him in the past #but talking about it would definitely lead someone to finding out who I am so... #I hope he kills himself and it sticks for once.

(447 notes)

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Heyyy

I wish people would stop rb'ing quiet's boufbowl gifsets considering the fact hes racist, misogynist, a freak, a bonta apologist (goes with the racism), has a fucking Maid, and likes some really weird things.

At least kickshoe has the excuse of being like a teen but this fucking guy is just something else.

🧙 hupperschlongartor follow

whatd he do? 🥺

🪐 8lunarcoeur8 follow

Says weird things about brakmar (x, x, x, x, x, x, x, and mooooore), is a freak (x, x), and a misogynist (x, x, x) (STOP STANNING KHAN KARKASS) also he's weird about huppermages and self described his class as an antihuppermage and even though it was like 200 years ago hes a wholeass immortal man and also is Still a weirdo about ecaflips.

(385 notes)

🌌 somethingquietplace

RE: the newest cancellation

I don't care about your feelings and I have nothing to apologize for.

#not osu

(1842 notes)

🦴 skellythievin follow

Not me honoring sram by stealing bones from the graveyard 😭

🦴 ougigou-woof-woof follow

LEGENDARY POST

#WHY DO I HAVE THE SAME PFP AS THE BONE STEALING SRAM

(59227 notes)

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Yaaa antonio sadisski won as always!! They should put sadidas like him in the hall of heroes for our country ᕙ⁠ ⁠(⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠)

👯 mirarynnnw follow

He sucks

🌸 sadidaskickshoe

Hi kill yourself :) /gen

#i was banned from using my phone but ill risk it all again to say that nobody will miss you!

(12 notes)

[gingerpeachtea]

tell me about mr burning suns fic NEOW!!!!! (if u want to!)

(wip list game!!!!)

YAAAYAYYAYSYYAYSYSYYAYAYY feeling HIGH after talking about siye SO LETS GO!!!!!!

siye is my FUCKING BABY but this is like. my moulin rouge baby

it is so incredibly laurel ocd fic in terms of projection not telling u which illness tho u gotta guess like it’s hangman. it’s like an if u know u know situation. u know?

cannot give u a snippet i fear because i have genuinely posted half the fic at this point and i’m not exaggerating LMAODKWD i just love this fic so much i want to SHARE IT!!!! but it’s not DONE!!!

it’s the only moulin rouge fic i’m anywhere close to finishing. it took me a WHILE to know where i wanted to start it, if i wanted to write the Before It Gets Bad and create a buildup, or if i wanted to start right in the thick of it. you’ll see which i chose when i post it i guess LMAO. actually no bc i ❤️ talking. i chose to start kind of right in the thick of it after providing wider context for the point the characters are at post-canon, SPECIFICALLY because i was struggling with creating more tension and buildup to The Big Moment in siye and i spent so much time struggling to figure that out that i went IM SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!!! and just put y’all right in the middle. (or the end. of the show. bohemian rhapsody. (……kind of. you’ll see. it’s kind of like if u took bohemian rhapsody and like. did an interpretive dance* of it instead of doing the show that we’re shown in the show (“the show” being moulin rouge of course. because i have explained this so logically))

(*and by “did an interpretative dance of” i do of course mean forgot absolutely everything and started making shit up. because i forgot that the plot of bohemian rhapsody is just. the fucking plot of moulin rouge)

i rly wanted to post it when i saw mr for the second (…third???? consult my intermission fics on ao3 idk) time on july 26th but i was busy with my stupid gay (actually wonderful and very enjoyable) job and like. being at broadway con. so. that didn’t happen. and then i Continued being busy with my stupid gay actually wonderful and very enjoyable job and then SCHOOL. and then i got my ASS BEAT. and i just got done getting my ass beat (am finally on break) so i WANT to finish it so bad before i go back but i do unforchies have to prioritize finishing a mike fic by jan 12th for his birthday sooooooo who knows!!!

SOMETNING IVE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WITH THIS FIC FOR SO FUCKING LONG. somebody said at some point in time SOMEWHERE (probably on tumblr IF YES AND ONE OF U KNOWS THE POST SEND PLS!!) that christian starts off the musical as an optimist and ends as a pessimist and satine starts off as a pessimist and ends as an optimist. prob phrased differently than that but ARARARAIAIUARARRAIAUZUSHGAGHH YES!!!!!!!!!!!! YES BITCH YEAAYYAAGHHHHHH U GET IT!!!!!! fuck ill vomimit i lvoe them so much FUCKMTLIGFE okay back to being coherent

WAIT IT MIGHTVE BEEN BEA THAT SAID RHAT??? bea if ur reading this did u say that???? anyways

that is SOOOOOOOO something i wanted to let influence their characterization in this fic!!!! this shift in perspective/outlook for the two of them is essentially the spark that lights their argument. you can see christian’s inclination towards pessimism in this snippet (which i’ve already shared at some point so🫡 sharing it again):

LIKE BITCH….. christian not being able to trust that she would be honest with him about her residual (#CHRONIQUE) illness…… AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN…… SATINE KNOWING BETTER AND TRUSTING CHRISTIAN…… JESUS FUCK!!!!!

analyzing the fic before i even post it 😭😭 very me behavior unfortunately. like yeah i would dissect a single exchange of dialogue for like an entire paragraph instead of actually writing the fic

anyways turns out when i run out of snippets to share i just start talking. where is pitbull hope wveryone enjoyed that lemme find it

[tiktaalic]

What did Sarah Z do ?

tbc my beef w her is not a beef its just a matter of personal preference n not liking the two (2) vids ive seen from her . i dont like that she does tumblr summaries with the vibe of and aren't these people crazy. arent these people cringe. couldnt be me. i just have a tumblr accoutn and rubber neck them. i remember her johnlock vid got flack from ppl involved in tjlc for being inaccurate. and i remember a lot of ppl i follow preemptively blocking her when she announced she was making a destiel vid based on the way she would yoink tumblr posts for her vid without asking you if it was ok to like. put your post on blast to 2 million views while she implied it was embarrassing and cringe. um and then the destiel vid she made didn't live up to my standards of accuracy and completeness . in my memory she actively reached out to someone for their recollection of johnlock the cultural moment and did no such thing for destiel just based it on what was hitting the top posts part of the destiel tag in november of 2020. thats all. went back to look for my posts abt it at the time and here's one sample.

havent finished the vid yet but i think there are more points to be made about parasocialism – she mentions that it was easy for fans to interact with creators/cast because of the simultaneous rise of social media/conventions/the cultural shift where shipping wasn’t taboo, but i think there’s definitely something to be said about how the creators were a large part of encouraging that. they were using fan inserts back in season 4. they Knew what was going on in fan spaces to the point where they referenced names of real bnfs, and they made the decision to goad and wink and play it up instead of adhering to the norm of looking the other way. like. there is a parasocialism there to be sure, but no one MADE them say the words wincest and destiel and sastiel on the show. creators/writers played a fairly significant part in crafting the fan environment that was crafted. imo

and now im mad again lmao bc you cannot talk about fans being parasocial and then not say and isn't it FUCKED that eric kripke name dropped real forum mods and forum members as stupid and cringe in his television show. oh and she was a chronic name searcher. she was always reblogging untagged posts abt her to argue with somebody. and they werent like. [accusation] [response saying that's not true] it was like. harmless disagreement. sarah getting their ass with her much larger following, but to be clear my main gripe is i think i know more about destiel than you do genius. which is petty but arguably valid criticism of someone doing a literal destiel retrospective and mocking it the whole time

[theropoda]

...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol

disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show

i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.

probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.

initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.

hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.

and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new

and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again

ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.

[just-omo-tings]

Hiiii!! I am making this account bc I went crazy stupid for an idea I came up with and figured tumblr would appreciate it. This is meant to be a nonsexual blog so pretty please don’t post sexual things in the reblogs or comments, thank you <3

———

so. ok. say everyone is camping, and suddenly it starts raining. it ends up raining hard enough that the tents floors start leaking (it happens >.>) and they have to ditch them and run into a nearby cave or overhang or something to try and stay dry

bc this is omo, Character A has to pee rly fuckin bad (maybe they were about to when the rain started) but its pouring and if they go out to pee they’ll be SOAKED. meanwhile the cave is shallow enough that there’s nowhere private enough to pee. Consequentially, they decide to try and hold it until the rain lets up

They’re doing good at first. The attention is off them, everyone focused on conversation. As long as they chime in every now and then, their discomfort flies under the radar. Eventually, though, it becomes visible enough that character B asks them if somethings wrong. They say that they’re just cold and tired, and frustrated with being stuck there, which is all true. B sympathetically hands them a blanket, which allows them to hold themself/fidget a bit more without being noticeable

eventually, the urge gets so bad that they start leaking. They’re panicking now, having no idea how to get out of this situation without humiliating themself, and tears start to prick their eyes. they desperately hold them back, but it must show on their face because B asks again if they’re alright, more concerned this time.

It draws the attention of the rest of the group, and they freeze under the stares of everyone, mumbling that they just want to go home. their concerned friends watch as B pats them on the back and assures them that they’ll go once the rain lets up. They nod, but then gasp as they leak again. Its obvious something more is going on, and B is suspicious, pushing them further.

They glance around at everyone, face burning in humiliation, but their bladder is so full and hurts so bad and they cant take it anymore. They burst out that they have to pee so bad, that they cannot wait, and their friends eyes widen as they all exchange concerned glances

(Lmfao this is getting very long but im havin fun)

B bites their lip and looks around, trying to think of some solution before reluctantly telling them that they think going in the back of the cave is the only option, and they’ll all try their best to not look and give A some privacy

A, desperate and out of options, sniffles and agrees. B grabs their hand and pulls them up, but they freeze on the spot. they jam their other hand tighter between their legs and whine, trying not to lose control right then and there. B curses as they realize just how urgent it is, and slow down, trying to coax A gently to keep going. A manages a step, maybe two, away from the rest of the group, before their bladder gives up

It starts as a small but steady stream that has them gasping and letting go of A to jam both hands between their legs. It’s too late, though, and the stream quickly crescendos into a waterfall, soaking their pants completely and puddling at their feet. Legs like jelly, they sink to their knees and hold back a sob as they let the mess happen

B and the rest of their friends watch in silent shock until they’re done, left sniffling in their puddle. Finally, B breaks the silence, but all they can offer is an awkward ‘shit... you should have just said something sooner’

A doesnt respond, just chokes back another sob and swipes their sleeve across their face, trying to clean it off but mostly succeeding in just making themself messier. The pee is cooling on their pants in the already chilly cabe, leaving them shivering and utterly miserable. Their friends try their best to offer comfort and assurances that no one is judging, and it helps some

B helps A up and the group all shift further away from the puddle. B settles A down in the circle and starts to mention getting them some dry clothes when the horrible realization hits everyone. When the tents flooded, their clothes got wet too, leaving A with nothing to change into. They just have to sit here, shivering and soaked in their own pee.

At this, A just cant hold back the tears anymore. They’re already as humiliated as they can possibly get, and they dont care. They burst into loud sobs, and everyone exchanges panicked looks as they stare, unsure what to say or do. B, floundering, sits down beside them and puts a hand on A’s back in an attempt to be soothing.

To B’s surprise, A just throws themself at B, sobbing into B’s chest and clinging onto them tightly. B is taken aback, and shifts in discomfort as they feel A’s soaked pants rub up against them, but they dont pull away. They hug A tightly, rubbing their back and shushing them.

After a moment of the awkward position, they try to adjust themself and A more comfortably. A presses closer to them, ending up practically in B’s lap, and B grimaces at the feeling of wetness seeping through their own clothes. They resign themself to it though, telling themself they’re camping anyway, sitting on the dirty floor of a random cave. comforting A is more important than staying clean.

They hold onto A, rocking them and letting them cry until they’re reduced to quiet hiccups. The cave is quiet, save for the sound of the rain and the others trying to carry on an awkward conversation in a flimsy attempt at privacy.

A is shivering hard now, since, again, its cold and rainy and gross and now they’re stuck in soaking wet pants. They’re freezing, and fucking miserable. B frowns in concern and holds them closer, attempting to warm them up with the shared body heat. They ask others to offer whatever dry-ish blankets they’d salvaged from the tent before making a run for it, and everyone cocoons them as much as possible.

And thats how they spend the next while, huddled together as the group tries to keep them warm and cheer them up, telling stories and talking and doing whatever to try to distract everybody from the situation.

Eventually, the rain slows to a light drizzle. they all run out and pack up the tents and everything else as quickly as possible, shoving it all back into the car and getting the FUCK home. once they’re there, they get A a hot bath and some clean clothes, and all have a movie night or whatever kind of night they wanna have idk lol. They all reassure A that its ok and they dont have to be embarrassed, and A finally starts to feel better yayyy happy ending :)

[macabremoons]

When looking across vampire fiction, what traits do you personally find essential to good vampire vibes? What can't be taken away without it no longer being a vampire (in your mind, regardless of the actual lore)? Could a vampire survive on human food? Could vampirism not be transmissible? Could every vampire walk in the sun?

BOY, OH BOY I FUCKING LOVE THIS QUESTION!

I would call myself a vampire traditionalist, but that doesn't mean I don't think people can have fun with it! I think the main thing is that every change or alteration of vampiric rules should serve to support the underlying themes of vampirism in the media.

What's a good example of this? Funny enough? Twilight. Everyone makes fun of the vampires sparkling, but there's a ton of weird shit in vampire canon. People thought that it "ruined the dangerousness of vampires" but Twilight has the theme that vampires are beautiful because that's how they get to kill people. Edward is a diamond encrusted monster. This also goes to show that the themes don't have to be super deep they just have to BE THERE.

The best thing about this method of sticking to a theme is even if the vampires don't end up COMPLETELY feeling like vampires, you have a justification. I know this one anime where they had a lot of original vampire lore, and while if done differently I'd scorn it, I think it was nice! Not refreshing--I detest the idea that the concepts of vampires have gotten stale because the idea is timeless, pun intended--but an enjoyable and creative take on the idea.

I personally like the idea that vampires CAN eat food it just does nothing for them. I've seen media where eating normal food makes them sick and personally I don't enjoy it. Vampires being able to safely drink things is a good compromise, and I love the idea of vampires still drinking wine.

There are certain changes that I will not tolerate. I once read a book where vampires didn't bite people. That's fucking stupid. The-- The whole goddamn point of vampires is that they bite people. Take that away, and what the fuck are they? Fucking??? pale elves???

The sun thing is actually so interesting to me because originally vampires were just weakened by the sun, not killed by it. That's why things like Edward sparkling doesn't bother me.

Another important thing is to keep the themes of consumption and to keep the gothic elements. "What if I want to write modern vampires?" Go ahead, you just have to be careful. Think of all the vampire media that used them in a highschool setting. It IS vampires, but doesn't it feel cheap? Where's all the concern about getting eaten alive? Where's the FLAVOR? Again Twilight is an exception. Say what you want about Twilight, but Stephanie wrote Twilight genuinely. She didn't write it because she thought it'd make money, nor did she do it because it was trendy. Bitch just liked vampires, and because of that Twilight works SOOO much better than media it inspired.

The theme of consumption is so important though. Is blood drinking a metaphor for addiction, sin, lust? Is it akin to love? Do people devour each other like kisses??? Vampires were the OG tumblr post about cannibalism.

Vampirism not being transmittable... is. quirky. I guess then they would just be a species? But that takes away so much from their canon. One of the pillars of their lore is they are something once human, no more. Something so twisted, yet so similar to the idea of humanity. Vampires mirror us, at the price of never mirroring themselves.

I love going into the idea that vampires think themselves better than humans but you can SEE it in their eyes that they were human once. Their entire idea of life and power and greatness is formed by their human existence. They can't run away from it. It's like hating your inner child. OH SHITTT IM GONNA SMACK GRIMOIRE WITH THAT SO TRUE ME

Anyway thanks for this question!

[poswiecenia]

@truethes - hey, hey, hey miles do you know its been about 3 months since we started following each other and that each month has been just as, if not, more of a wonder being your mutual? navigating new rpcs are so hard but getting to meet and interact with you has been an absolute honour and i cannot thank you enough for your kind and welcoming behaviour, especially when you know how much of an absolute slowpoke i am both on here and on discord. your love for your muses is absolutely beautiful and something i truthfully? really, really admire when it comes to a multimuse blog. your muses feel like your family, your friends, people you have come to know so intricately and are unafraid to show it. from headcanons to thoughts, the way you're willing to go above and beyond for them, it's absolutely beautiful to see a post on my dash from you, because i know that no matter what it will be filled with the love and understanding of one who wishes to give them above and beyond on what is inferred. your lumine lore is INCREDIBLE and i hope you know that, the whole universe you've created for a character who's series seems to treat them as a spare limb in places. i have come to love lumi more because of your lumi. same with all the other muses you've come to bring to our attention. i hope you have a lovely 2025, that things go well for you and that everything works out. you're doing great, so don't you ever think you have the opportunity to forget that. because i will come back, again and again and again, to remind you as such. so don't you ever go forgetting it! \ 2024 is almost over!

OF SACRIFICE. what if i fucking cried what then LOL. but god like ?? this means a whole lot. i work really hard on my muses ( even though some are lacking dossiers pls let me live i have over 20 ) to make them feel real and alive and not just one dimensional or whatever. im ridiculous when it comes to canon content and will spend hours reading or researching something i don't know because its fun ???

its very warming to know that i've had a bit of influence in helping someone like a character more, much less the mc of a fuckin gacha game of all things -- because god i love my stupid lil celestial clown and im ;w; to know that its seen and enjoyed.

i'm super glad to know you and always know that my patience is literally in the clouds ( i work for a call centre it has to be up there ) so slowpoke or not i'm gonna be here for da fun and games on tumblr or discord <3

[queer-things-and-stuff]

bro. i don’t normally do posts like this cause its pointless (nobody’s gonna see them) and embarrassing (ew you feel emotions and want attention for them?)but if i don’t get these thoughts out i will explode. i’m so upset, im sad, like im in a fucked up situation and the only person i have to blame is myself and there’s nothing i can do about it. all i can do is sit here and feel like shit. i keep trying to convince myself to accept the situation as it as and move on with my day, finding satisfaction elsewhere, but i have this pit in my stomach that keeps reminding me of how fucked up my mind feels. i hate this helplessness, i want to blame something or punish someone or do anything that could bring closure to this moment in time.

the only thing I see ahead of me is watching the clock tick to 7 and past it, a reminder of my failures and the things im missing out on, even though the time now, 4:35, is just as much of a reminder, because i know it’s already too late to fix things. i wish this didnt make me feel as hopless as it does, it’s like i get beat down every time i stand up, and the fact that this situation was entirely preventable if i had been a half decent enough human being to plan ahead doesn’t make it any better. it’s my fault, i regret everything now. i wasted so much of my resources, i hitched so much of my satisfaction out of life on this day and all I’ll come out of it with is more proof of my own incompetence.

this is the type of thing that reveals the truest part of me, the part that wants to lay down and never get back up again. and it’s funny, because just last night i had convinced myself i was getting back on track, and today when i got home i thought i would be able to close my eyes and get to sleep tonight thinking it was a good day. im so stupid, really this is exactly why i feel i don’t deserve a place here anymore. im so over the throes of existence.

and you know, the “fucked up situation” is so “first world problem-ie” too, which makes me feel even worse cause it’s like you’re falling back into your habit of suicidal ideation because of something so frivolous, but i know in my heart and mind it’s more than that. i let myself down again, i created another reason to lay awake at night wishing things were different. and i spent money on it too, i’ll never get what i payed for, in this society with the life i’ve lived that wound cuts deep. i’m missing out, im sad. i’m so over it all.

i wish there was something I could do to change how i feel right now, if i had someone to talk to maybe that would help but as if it weren’t obvious enough by the fact that im venting into the void on Tumblr, i have no one. i’m completely solitary and alone. really, i have no friends to speak to, nobody to invite over or hang out with to distract me or try to make me laugh. things like that feel so foreign to me, like they’re straight out of a tv show. it’s no wonder why my go to trope is found family, i seek comfort in the relationships of fictional characters because i’ve never had what they have for myself. such a sad excuse for a person i am. what a shame.

[anxilly]

part 1 because tumblr is STUPID and won't let me post the whole thing wtf

thanks for the tag @thavron! i don't have ten people to tag, but mostly because im scared to bother anyone and also because you've tagged a lot of the people i would in this, haha

last song: oh boy. im pretty sure it was 'taste' by sabrina carpenter- im not massively pop girlie, but there's something about her that i can't really get off my mind? yes i know haha insert espresso joke here, but my taste in music has always been much more personal than it should be- i was, for a very long time, that emo chick who never listened to pop or anything "mainstream" because it was cringe or whatever the fuck i was on. in recent years i've learned to loosen my stranglehold on the labels that i used to define myself with because of how harmful they actually ended up being in figuring out my identity, so im slowly getting to a point where i can openly admit that yeah actually, pop IS cool and there's nothing wrong with enjoying certain genres of music just because they don't blow your eardrums out whenever you listen to them favourite colour: funnily enough, teal! black is my go to for everything because it's very hard to make black look bad, but teal is pretty af and a perfect mix of sea green, grey and blue which are all colours i love last book: i've picked up.... so many books.... during 2024 that i never finished, by the most recent one that i've picked up (not counting manga here) is a book called "les jolies choses" by virginie despentes. she's an author i like quite a bit, because her literature is rough and real, and it's not afraid to poke at topics that are incredibly uncomfortable. reading her feels like she's the kind of person who'd just understand what a messed up ND 20 something year old is going through 100% last movie: seoul station, i've just been watching a ton of zombie/monster horror as (mainly) background noise while i do craft stuff lol, the youtube video essays don't do much for me anymore last tv show: currently watching sweet home, but the show i just finished was all of us are dead which are both fantastic adaptations of webtoons of the same name- but let's not get started on korean webtoons because they're one of my favourite things to talk about x) sweet/spicy/savoury: spicy!!!! my partner is allergic (genuinely) to spice so i haven't been having as much as i would like, but i have pretty messed up tastebuds so spice is not only something i can tolerate, but also one of the few things that gives food flavour last thing i searched online: the name of the author i mentioned previously because i couldn't find her first name on any of my books LMFAO current obsession: good question, i don't actually think i have one atm. i've been really into doing creative stuff, but i wouldn't call it an obsession, necessarily. my love for good omens starting fading a while back and while i still love it, i definitely haven't been nearly as invested as i used to be. i both do and don't hope for another hyperfixation because i can't figure out whether im prepared for my life to come to a standstill again or not lol

[dyke-quixote]

LMAOOO “Don Quixote we need to get your daughter potty trained” REALLLLL. SO TRUE.

Girl is FAILING and so embarrassed about it because no she definitely was potty trained when she was human but. Maybe the attempt and then turning ruined the muscles or maybe she hasn’t had to use them for so long. She’s GENUINELY potty training at like a hundred years old or something and she’s just there like. So embarrassed.

THOUGHT I WAS GONNA ACTUALLY BE NORMAL but nope apparently I can’t be trusted around Sancho in pull-ups either.

She gets praise if she gets near the training potty (Bari bought one because of course she would) even if she doesn’t actually make it. It’s sending her SO many mixed signals to be getting praise for wetting herself.

Saw an omo post somewhere on tumblr about locked bathrooms and and a training potty outside of it bc the person who the potty is for can’t wait and. IM PRETTY SURE THERES NO REASON FOR THE MANOR/CASTLE/WHATEVER TO HAVE BATHROOMS. So Sancho can’t even use a normal toilet she has to use the stupid little training potty. (Don’t tell her that Don Quixote figured something out basically right after Bari showed up because as epic as she is she is still human and subject to human needs).

But yeah shes getting the same, and maybe even more, praise for almost making it as when she does make it. multiple times shes earnestly thought she made it, sat down, consciously started peeing and realized too late shes going in the pull-up. Sorry that’s a hyper specific aspect of the kink for me agugjghhh. Just the “I made it!!” excitement and then realizing you didn’t.

Don Quixote putting the potty away so no one sees it (Sancho would actually never speak to him again and he loves her too much! As much as he wants to see her embarrassed this is probably 100% a hard limit. Only he and Bari can know) but. It’s put away now and Sancho needs to pee but he “forgot” where he put it. Finds it right as Sancho starts to wet herself.

Don Quixote and Bari taking a quick break from their (actual) dual because Sancho is clearly in need of the potty (and they call it that bc it’s just that little extra bit of embarrassing that she likes).

-normal anon

"Sorry that’s a hyper specific aspect of the kink for me agugjghhh. Just the “I made it!!” excitement and then realizing you didn’t." No you're so right this is so good

I love this all so much. Giving her a cute little training potty... ugh I love that

Okay okay but like the training potty and pull-ups being such a big part of her memories that they manifest in her room on the Bus. Ishmael and Heathcliff see the training potty and realize oh wow that was a major part of her life before this huh and Sancho is just dying. She just got her memories back and the training potty is haunting her. But also she's emotionally soft about it and Ishmael and Heathcliff understand and encourage her to 'try training again' because she can definitely get it now!!!

Sorry Don/Sancho you are NEVER getting potty trained it's not part of keeping the dream alive. You HAVE to piss yourself to honor your Father's memory.

[dealerlover]

storytime/lore: i was followed home

IMPORTANT INFO: my region has no sidewalks, so to get home everyday i cross the roadway (legally) and 100% do not trespass at all. if i had a car to drive, i would, and if i could take the bus, i would, but public transport doesnt pass through this part. IF YOU HAVE A CAR, YOU ARE USING IT. THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULD BE WALKING AROUND WHERE I LIVE.

okay onto the story now... my school is in another region so a bus brings me from there to another school, and i walk from that school to my house (about 10 min walk). today while going home i was waiting to cross the VERY BUSY street, and i see an all black LARGE VAN stop 40-50m away from where i was and this guy, also dressed in all black, steps out. and he started walking MY direction

(artist rendition below. thats my ugly persona btw i dont look that nice. those are also my beautiful eyes <3 sorry for staring into them without permission.........)

now like.. thats so weird. SO WEIRD. theres no reason you should be walking when YOU HAVE A CAR. ive lived here for at least 7 years and i have only seen someone walk on this road ONCE.

since i wait right next to the road im 1-2m away from oncoming traffic. its dangerous. now im waiting for all the cars to pass so i can (legally) cross the street, and at this point this random guy is like 20m away. luckily all the cars passed and i (legally) ran fast as hell across. i walked about 3 blocks before turning around and HES STILL FUCKING THERE. WALKING ON THE OTHER SIDE. PICKING UP THE PACE AND LOOKING AT ME.

this was in BROAD DAYLIGHT. additionally there was an event going on IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL where LAW ENFORCEMENT came over to educate the kids and was showing them different police cars, fire trucks, etc. WHY ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW ME WHEN THE POLICE ARE RIGHT THERE??

so i texted my friends. i have 2 irl friends i talk to outside of school. ive got like 5 irl friends in total so there wasnt really anyone else i could cry for help to, since my parents are at work for most of the day and night, and i have almost no living relatives here

about 4 blocks from my house i pass an intersection that goes into another neighbourhood where there was a someone in a car waiting for their kid to be dropped off. i speed-walked 3 blocks down and when i turned around there was ANOTHER RANDOM ASS GUY at the intersection looking in my direction. he looked like he was being yelled at by the guy in the car (i guess he suspected he was following me). the intersection is also at the top of a hill with some trees in the way, so when he looked away I RAN FAST AS HELL ACROSS THE ROAD.

i didnt even care that there were 6 cars coming from either side. i just thought "if i get hit, i get hit. if its my time to go then so be it" but halfway through i remembered something. you wanna know what i fucking remembered? what made me break out into a SPRINT? i have undiagnosed health problems that make walking up STAIRS a challenge, and i you wanna know why i started SPRINTING AS FAST AS I COULD? i remembered that stupid danganronpa dub. i thought of how disappointed everyone would be if i literally got kidnapped and never got to finish it. so i ran. i ran home. i got inside, shaking and panting heavily, which didnt stop for hours, but at least i was safe. at least i could finish it. my true purpose....... dubganronpa...

the reason i took to tumblr was because i literally had nobody else to tell. again, i know like. 5 people. i worded this post so cryptically because i didnt want anyone to be concerned if i just blurted out "SOMEONES FOLLOWING ME I THINK THEY MIGHT KIDNAP ME" so i said it discreetly and kinda goofy so yall would KNOW something was up, but in a half-serious half-joking way cuz thats how i cope with awful strange events in my life

it left me with so many questions.. why would you stop next to a busy road to walk somewhere when you have a car CLEARLY available? theres people who like <1 minute away from the school who use cars because walking is so dangerous. the only reason i walk is because I LITERALLY HAVE NO OTHER OPTION. walking anywhere in my region is BEYOND a last resort. hell, ive contemplated driving illegally before i decided on walking home.

i cant even think of anything i did wrong to get followed by some strangers. to my knowledge, i havent done anything to piss anyone off since first year. why me? what do I have that YOU want.. i just dub danganronpa anime and give it more homoerotic undertones.. is that really a crime?

now that im thinking back on the incident i realize i did have a few certain long sharp objects in my bag that i cannot name here (for self defense and also art supplies) AND MY BAG WEIGHTS ALMOST 3 KILOS?? IF I WHIPPED THAT AROUND AND HIT SOMEONE I THINK IT WOULD DO SOME DAMAGE

anyways im safe. for now. this weekend is going to be spent emailing my school asking them to make a bus stop at my house since the bus literally PASSES my house on the way to the school. i dont live in a neighbourhood, i live on the side of the road. its right there. why cant they drop me off man

GLADOSLUVER OUT

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️