#im not really trying to change peoples minds on white haired Lavellan's

[brekkie-e]

Listen, I get that a lot of people's dislike of white-haired Lavellan's comes from over exposure, which is valid and happens to the best of us. But most of the time, when I see posts about folks not liking them, the frustration centers around them being this unearthly ethereal white-haired barbie doll. And I'm sure that is also common.

But as someone who loves my dinky white haired Lavellan, and also feels like she's one of my most human characters, I want to ramble about all the ways she is not just a beautiful barbie doll power fantasy. Because my nerd is pretty. She IS. But she also has the puffiest under eyes you ever saw. Depending on the day, there may be dark circles. There isn't a cream on the market that can make this lady look properly rested. When you combine that with the near constant sunburn on her nose turning it red, she has the air of someone that is in a permanent state of allergy season.

Going from the top down, she also has a tooth gap. And while we are here, they are pretty darn crooked. Thedas doesn't have orthodontists. I wouldn't say she has horrible teeth. But she has perfectly human imperfect teeth that make for a memorable smile for all the wrong (right) reasons.

Her left ear is missing a big chunk out of it from being hit by an arrow. It gives her the same lightly ragged look of a stray cat.

She has moles. The one on her chin grows a long and shockingly white hair out of it. She pulls it out. If it's because she's insecure about it or because picking at it is a nervous tick, she doesn't even know at this point because she's done it for so many years.

The hair on her arms is very fine and white. It is also very, very fuzzy. The kind of peach fuzz that catches the light and makes itself known. It didn't bother her when she lived with her clan because she has a lot of siblings, and they all have it. But someone casually remarks on it during her time with the Inquisition, maybe in jest saying her arms look more like a dwarf's than an elf's. Suddenly, she wears sleeves a lot more often.

I am pretty attached to the bean pole frame Lavellan gets in Inquisition because it's hard to headcanon out for me when it's constantly there on screen. That being said, her legs have some hefty cellulite going on in the back of those thighs. Her flat little ass is dimpled. There are stretch marks on the insides of her thighs, and on her butt. She thinks that's unfair given her complete and utter lack of curves. Knees? Knobby. Her shins always have bruises on them from bumping into something or another.

Various other things I think about and am fond of for her. Her sword hand is calloused. It's often dry and cracked, with hang nails like a construction worker. She tries to take care of it, but how do you out self-care the kind of wear and tear constant travel and fighting does to a person.

Her eyebrows are so pale and thin that it doesn't even look like she has them half the time. Her scalp can get sunburns where her hair parts. She gets a pimple in the same spot like clockwork every time her period comes around. She has one toe that's just inexplicably uglier than the rest.

And she's still pretty. She's still little miss doomed by the narrative.

Secretly, I didn't really have a point to this post beyond wanting to talk about my character's endearing imperfections. But I'll try to wrap this up with something coherent. You can use the stereotypical "pretty" color palette and still create a deeply human character. You can also use a unique color palette and still end up with a design or attitude that gives off "this character's sweat smells like roses and peonys."

I'm not saying that white-haired Lavellan's don't come with the baggage of over-exposure or the weight of heavy handed white savior energy. I'm not saying they can't be done badly. I am just sad thinking there are other folks out there that see all the "stereotypical Lavellan" posts, and also feel a knee-jerk impulse to redesign a beloved oc to be more like-able. At the end of the day, oc's are for their creator. Nobody is going to like your oc more than you. So make one that speaks to you.

And hey. Maybe you are guilty of making your oc's perfect pretty Barbie dolls. Nothing wrong with a pretty lady (or man but that's not really the point of the post.) But speaking for myself, I fall a little in love with every oc someone gives a perfectly normal "defect" to. So next time you find yourself making a hot girl... mix it up a bit and consider giving her toe hair. You might be surprised by how much that detail sticks with you.

[enasallavellan]

Enasal Lavellan Pt: 67

Obviously, I’ve changed a decent amount of how Krem’s explanation because it always seemed so odd to me how it came out.

If you want to hear a little bit about why I write Krem the way I do and why I’ve chosen do write this the way I have, check out the post https://enasallavellan.tumblr.com/post/628359966174117888/im-back-lets-talk-about-krem.

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For Adam 1989-2018

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When Enasal found Krem, he was wandering near the practice field, still in his plainclothes.  Bull must have forced him to have a full day off, since Krem usually ignored a suggestion.

“Too much free time?”  Enasal chirped.

He looked at her and grinned, “Don’t really know what to do with myself.  Chief made me take the day, said I was getting fidgety.” 

“I thought so.”  Enasal tilted her head back and forth, “Do you… wanna have that talk now?”  Her smile was small and unsure, “You have me a little worried.” 

He sighed and shook his head, “Trust me, En.  You’re not the one who needs to be worried.”  He looked to some of the nearby soldiers, “We should go somewhere else.”

Enasal nodded past the fields, “When we came back from the mire there were flowers blooming over there.  I could show you how to make flower chains while we talk.”

He laughed, “We’ll see about the flower chains, but yeah, seems like a good spot.” 

After a mile walk they found the flower patch Enasal had mentioned and sat down.  “Is everything really alright?’  Enasal asked as she began to pick flowers, “It’s not like you to be all secretive

“I know.”  He lay on his back, avoiding eye contact. “I have to tell you something, En.  I’ve waited too long - scared I think.”

“What?” Enasal had made a pile of flowers in her lap, and was tying the first few together.

He sat up and rubbed his temples, “I might need your advice for something if I can get the heart to tell this girl something, and I want your advice.  But you won’t understand why things could be complicated until I tell you something else.”

Enasal continued to chain flowers together.  She didn't know the common names for all of them.  She had picked a bundle of daisies and purple-petaled flowers and a few long spears of grass.  She spotted some yellow flowers a few yards away - possibly buttercups. 

She smiled, this time it was warm and soothing, “You can tell me anything.”

“Ugh.”  Krem flopped back down in the grass.  “En, you know how sometimes people can be born and everything’s not put together quite right? “  He sat up, “You know how some people can be born without an arm or with an extra finger?”

Enasal nodded, adjusting the chain into a small crown and setting it on her head.  “Shiral said she saw a human in a city missing an arm.” She grabbed a few more flowers out of her lap and began a new chain.

“Well I… I was born not…”  He fussed with his hair, before flopping back down on the grass.  He couldn’t seem to get comfortable. “I wasn’t born like I should have been.”

Enasal looked up from her flowers, “What do you mean?’

He picked at the grass as he organized his thoughts, “What do you think I am?”

“... how do you figure?”

He was sitting up again, fidgeting his legs until he settled on sitting with his legs folded, “Okay, simple it is.  Are you a man or a woman?”

Enasal laughed, “What?”

“I know, I’m trying to-”  He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Okay.  So what am I?”

She looked at him, blinking a few times.  “A man?  If this is a joke, I think I might be missing some words.”

Krem laughed - it sounded bitter - “You’re half-right.”

Enasal had gone back to making her crown, but was much less focused, “What am I wrong about?”  

She glanced up.  Krem had clutched his hands together, rendering his knuckles white and staring at the ground.  She picked up her flowers and sat close to him, “Krem, it’s me.  You can tell me anything.  Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Me.”  He said, rubbing his temples, “You’re right En.  I’m a man - my soul, my heart, my mind… but not - ”  He gestured to himself, “Not this. My body doesn’t match.”

Enasal was tilting her head back and forth, “What do you mean?”

“My body doesn’t match - I was born a girl.”

His friend blinked slowly, and his heart pounded.

“I didn’t know that could happen.”  Enasal admitted.

Krem sighed in relief and sank back into the grass, “You don’t hate me?”

Enasal laughed, “Why?”

“Some people think people like me shouldn’t exist.”  

Enasal stretched out on the grass beside him. “Well, they don’t know what they’re missing and I feel sorry for them.”  She poked his nose, “Missing out on a perfectly good friend just because of that.”

He laughed and sat up, shaking his head, “Chief said you wouldn't care and I believed him but… it was in the back of my head.”

Enasal tied off the flower crown and lowered it on his head, “You’re stuck with me.” She laughed and laid her head on his shoulder, watching a flock of birds fluttering in the grass nearby.

“Krem?”  She asked.

“Hm?”

“You’re my...”  She paused and snapped her fingers, “It’s like a friend but… top!  You’re my top friend!”

He covered his face and laughed.  A second passed before he put an arm around her to hug her tight, “You too, En.”

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@mauvette268

Survey to vote on Enasal’s Winter Palace getup here: https://www.opinionstage.com/enasallavellan/what-should-enasal-wear-to-the-winter-palace