#im not a cis white male in any way that matters except as someone who's failed to be a minority in any meaningful way

[feliicityrampant]

Okay I got a few questions 1. are you an atheist and 2. do you agree with bairn-sidhe's or whatever their name is addition to your post that "white male atheists" are only so because they don't want to face consequences for their actions?

1. im “”agnostic”” by which i mean a) i didn’t grow up in a religious environment tho i did go to lutheran church for a few years as a child and b) i honestly don’t care or believe it’s any of my business how the universe is ordered.2. i have various feelings about it. to begin with, my post wasn’t about anyone’s specific beliefs. it was about who has the power to create and enforce laws and social standards within communities (local, city, state, nation [yes, this was a us-centric post. no that isn’t a crime as a lot of people seem to believe.]) based on their beliefs. minorities (and whether or not this includes cishet white women honestly is a debate) lack that power so their beliefs are “inherently different” based on that fact alone. minorities in organized religion lack power within that religion at its largest form. minorities within atheist/scientific communities lack power within those communities. i made the post as a response to posts floating around which broadly accused atheists of having some form of anti-religious power. i felt this was tone deaf to the reality of the power structures in place.so i get really mad that i constantly (day in and day out) have to read various accusations about what my one sentence post means from people who totally lack context and additionally have taken the context they DO have and decided to read something into it that quite literally is not therethat being said, i think it’s worth talking about the relationships people have with religion (of all forms, not just christianity, although it seems to be the only thing people want to talk about, which i guess makes sense because of the extreme impact it has on many people’s lives in the us) because of who they are on a social level. as someone who was not raised religious at all (my mom recently confessed to me that we only went to church when i was little so that i could have options) and whose brushes with local christian communities were not negative (i am also white and cis and though i am a lesbian i didn’t know that until a decade after i had stopped attending church) i still have thoughts and feelings about who i am in relationship to organized religions. i feel it’s disingenuous of people to respond that they are “atheist because they don’t believe and not for any other reason.” i think people are more thoughtful than that. they are inquisitive and seek to understand the universe and themselves in the process. at some point everyone wonders if there is a higher power. at some point everyone makes a decision about it (or doesn’t, and that’s a decision of its own). and decisions are formed the way the rest of our thoughts are formed: by what we are exposed to in the world and how we are treated. i think it’s absolutely true to say that cishet white men surrounded by other cishet white men are going to approach the question of “is there a god and if so what does that mean for me?” in a way that’s different from, say, a lesbian surrounded by straight people, living in a patriarchy. that’s not a value-laden statement. it is what it is. people are different. difference isn’t bad or good. it’s just the various ways in which we’re human. so i don’t necessarily think ‘cishet white men are atheists because they’re smug assholes’ or ‘minorities are atheists because they make emotion-based decisions’ are true statements. i think ‘cishet white men who are atheists are more likely to be atheists because they were raised in non-religious environments’ and ‘minorities and women are more likely to break from religion are are more likely to have done so because of bigotry they have experienced and/or trauma they endured’ are probably true, but that doesn’t really say anything about “atheists” in general or even “minorities and women who are atheists” in general.also i really really fucking resent all the people saying it’s racist or homophobic to say “some people are atheist because of trauma” because it implies they’re too stupid to make decisions based on logic. how thoughtless and insensitive can you be. how can you possibly look at people who have endured hatred from their families and communities and been so shaken and harmed by that experience that they broke from their beliefs and FAMILIES and COMMUNITIES as a result and say “wow what a moron.” nobody NOBODY in that post is making that judgment except the people saying they are and they should be ASHAMED. that’s their value system that they’re projecting onto other people and it shows.(as a side note, at some point in all of this it’s necessary to point out that white people and gentiles regardless of whether or not they are minorities in other respects are absolutely capable of exerting power over muslims, sikhs, and jewish people)

((i also realize you probably weren’t interested in this long of a response. i’m honestly not sure why you reached out to me for comment. the post has 100k notes, most of them people arguing about it or sharing their extremely witty comments about ‘op’, and i think like one other person has ever bothered to ask me about it. even assholes very rarely try to antagonize me directly. at this point i think it’s fair to say my opinion or what i actually meant doesn’t actually matter. the opinions expressed belong to the people who reblog it, in whatever state they decide that should be. and i reserve the right to be fucking annoyed by all of it.))

(((as a final aside, because i thought it was kind of interesting, someone recently reached out to me and asked my permission to use the post in their phd research, which i found equal parts annoying and funny. probably my greatest impact on the world and it has basically nothing to do with me. this is why i try not to think about the universe as either ordered events or total coincidence. it’s too depressing either way.)))

[anthonymller]

is it prince charming in real life (except this is not real life and it’s actually rping)?? is that someone who really needs sleep?? is another white guy with a sad backstory by yours truly?? yes yes and also yes. hi!! i’m ella and this is my baby anthony he is not that great but he is trying his best so i think that amounts to something honestly. you can find more info about him under the read more and if you would like a plot with him then give it a like or im me and we’ll talk.

⌜ ELLA. 19. GTM -3.⌟  did i really just see [ JOSH DALLAS ]? nah, that’s just [ ANTHONY MILLER ], also known as the [ MEDIATOR ] of new york city. apparently, they’re a/an [ THIRTY FIVE ] year old [ POLICE DETECTIVE ], identifying as a [ CIS MALE BISEXUAL ], which is probably why they’ve lived in [ BROOKLYN ] for [ EIGHT YEARS ]. i heard that [ HE ] is known to be very [ RESPONSIBLE & PATIENT ], but watch out — they can also become very [ REPRESSED & SELF-RIGHTEOUS ] on their bad days.

-` Anthony John Miller ´-

TW: MENTIONS OF CHILD NEGLECT, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, MISCARRIAGE, CANCER AND DEATH

let me tell you about the biggest workaholic in new york city.

person life?? pfts. hobbies?? nah. throwing yourself into work so you won’t have to deal feelings??? yes

anthony was born in texas, in 1983. his parents owned a whiskey distillery and were both very wealthy.

his father wasn’t really the greatest. he was barely around, always having to be somewhere else because of work. though, his mother was really the worse one. she was always pushing her children to do what she wanted, emotionally manipulating them into doing what she thought would make them into the perfect children. 

anthony and his siblings would constantly be asked to do things they didn’t want to because their mother thought would be best for them. she would also hold them to impossible standards and then scream at them when they didn’t meet it.

through, high school anthony was your local football playing popular jerk. he started playing football mostly because his mother and father thought that was what he should do, using his acomplishments to boast about their parents skills. but tony didn’t really care much for the games. he spent most of his time partying, drinking and having fun. despite the fact that his mother would constantly scream at him for his actions, he would more often than not be found drunk hitting on some random girl at a high school party.

that is until she meet some goth girl that switched school. that girl was alice. they meet when tony was in his senior year of high school. they quickly fell in love and started dating, tony dropping most of the things he used to do at that point to spend time with her.

he started getting as drunk as he used to, didn’t go out as much with the football crowd. he was pretty much head over hills with her.

everything was perfect for a while, well that is, until she got pregnant. 

after she got pregnant anthony told his parents about it and his mother just went on about how terrible alice was. alice and their child didn’t meet with the plans that they had for anthony and so their parents hated both. his mother told him about how he’d have to choose between his family and alice.

they finished the high school year, alice being three months pregnant at that moment, and then both ran away from home to a complete different city.

he and alice had to start from scratch. she was a musician and would sing in bars and different places every night around town while he started working as a parking attendant after becoming friends with the local sheriff.

life was starting to go their way. though they did have to work a lot, and they weren’t really living in the greatest condition. ( the small motel they were both sleeping in not even comparing to the mansion tony used to live in, ) but it was good. he was with someone he loved and there was no one to tell anthony what to do all the time. 

alice had a miscarriage through her second semester. that really affected her, alice not being able to go out to sing for a long while, but anthony did his best to try and help her through it. 

that was when he became most of the man he is today. he got two jobs to be able to support both of them and he started being way more responsible since he had to take care not only of himself but also of her.

time passed though and they were able to recover from it.

they got married a few years later spending years together.

she started teaching kids arts and anthony was able to become a policeman and slowly starting to evolve in his career. he loved helping people and he loved being able to do daily.

they moved to new york city.

the real lowest point though came a few years later. alice was constantly feeling sick and tired, unable to do the things she usually and she decided to go the doctor. she was diagnosed with stomach cancer. a few months later she died.

the death really affected tony, him unable to do anything for a while.

instead of dealing with the loss though he buried himself into work. spending every awake moment focused on it so he didn’t have to think of anything else.

-` Random facts + Personality ´-

he mostly lost his texan accent, and most people can’t even tell he is not from new york, though, when he is angry you can sometimes hear his original accent slipping through.

he is really super responsible and likes to take care of people and if anyone tells him about their problems he’ll drop mostly all of his priorities to make sure they are fine and won’t rest until he solves the problem

catch him outside the club avoiding all his feelings

he’ll mostly never talk about the shit he is going through no matter how bad he is feeling. 9/10 times he either doesn’t want to deal with it or bother people with his feelings.

he is most of the time super nice to people and really respect and polite. that is unless he sees you doing something he finds morally wrong in each case he’ll get on that moral high ground and lecture you.

even though his wife died five years ago, he hasn’t really dated anyone ever since his wife died. still wearing the wedding ring to this day.

he’ll on occasion try to take off the wedding ring and go on a date if any of his friends convince him of it but it’ll hardly ever go past the second or third date as he’ll most of the time feel guilty for trying to connect with someone else.

-` Possible connections ´-

the good inflence ; someone that might have been doing something wrong at some point but tony was a good influence to and help them get back on their feet.

the bad influence ; someone that gives him bad ideas and drags anthony along to stuff that he wouldn’t really normally be involved with bc anthony is worried about them and wants to make sure they are fine.

the best friend ; someone with whom anthony can be honest and talk about stuff that actually happened. maybe something bad happened to that friend as well and they connect through the trauma of it, or maybe that person is just really warm-hearted and kind. in either case, tony feels like he can talk to that person even if most of the time he won’t.

the ex ; maybe someone from high school that met him before he changed to the man he is today and only knows him as his former asshole self or 

the blind date ; maybe a friend set them up. maybe a co-worker did, in either case they ended up together some time and really connected while talking. things, however, have been really awkward ever since bc tony won’t call them back or really attempt at anything else

the one sided crush ; pretty self explanatory. someone that started crushing on anthony for whatever reason and he doesn’t feel the same way. i feel like it could be interesting since he doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings ever, especially if it was a friend or someone he already had some sort of connection with, but he’d be unable to feel the same way towards them.

siblings ; anthony has five siblings of varying ages and genders and he hasn’t really talked to his family ever since he ran away from home so it could be an interesting dynamics maybe to see how they have grown apart, maybe what him leaving did to your character and all that.