#im literally eating myself out of my retirement because I'm too much of a baby and want burger instead of home cooked meal

[professor-doc-emeritus]

in preparation for the move I went through the deeply healing process of canceling a bunch of monthly subscriptions I had managed to accumulate over the years, turns out I was spending $70.76 on functionally nothing. Annoyed I let it get to that but happy to have the money back in my pocket so I can put it towards more responsible things: warhammer minis

[khaleesiofalicante]

SCREAMS

MORE SCREAMING

INTENSIFIED SCREAMING

First of all, when you tagged me as Georgia in the CYM did you look into my brain because THIS GIRL DHUDHUCIUHIDFUHKDFVUKHDKHU

AWW GEORGIA IS ON THE PATH OF BECOMING A SCIENTIST LIKE HENRY AND CHRISTOPHER!! MEMORIES!!

if Eidolon demons could do calligraphy, it would look like Georgia’s handwriting.

oof same

GEORGIA BABY IT'S OK I HAVE A HORRIBLE HANDWRITING TOO

I eventually gave up

she is so smart sniffs THE IRON SISTERS ARE IN LONG ISLAND

[5:16 PM]AYUGDCSYUGDCYGUVFDYUGVDFUYH SO THERE'S A RUMOR ABOUT RAFAEL DATING SOMEONE?? WHY?? DUDE LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE AND LET HIM LIVE HIS

“The poor boy had a crush on you for a month,” she heard dadda chuckle.

“Excuse you, it was a month and a half,” Mama corrected.

HUYDSUYGDFYGUFVSUYGVFHUVFUHUIFVUHFVUIHFVD

why is everyone so obsessed with the kids' dating lives like dude-

Uncle Alec had been elected as the Consul – again.

Pretends to be shocked. MY BOY IS THE BEST CONSUL OUT THERE FITE ME

And when he was stressed, he watched Dora the Explorer.

good to know im not the only one who watches cartoons when they are stressed(edited)

ALSO RAFAEL BABY IM COMING THERE TO FIGHT THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE SPREADING RUMORS THE AUDACITY

Georgia is the first ever person to actually enjoy izza's cooking

She had always thought of herself as a loner. It happens when you think differently from everyone else. Sometimes you feel like you live in your own world with your own rules. She had been okay with it. She had been comfortable.

same bestie same

Georgia had been surprised because she hadn’t known she was an option at all.

i feel like this fic is calling me out

But Georgia couldn’t let it go. She refused to believe that things were either good or bad. Anything can be anything if you know how to use it.

YES

“Brother Enoch!” Lexi raised her hand. “Up top?”

The silent brother stared – or probably glared cause you could never tell – and walked past them to the institute office room.

“He is never going to high five you,” Georgia pointed out.

“Nah, he is just a little shy,” Lexi grinned. “I will get that high five. You will see.”

HNVUHVUHVUKVDFYHUDUKFVH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

JACE MAKING PUNS AND BEING OBSESSED WITH TEA

GIMME

“Hey!” Mama said – her face looked a little red, like she had put lipstick all over her face, not just her lips.

Now I would have overlooked this but shadowhunters are getting sick and dying and I'm worried.

THE PARABATAI TEST THING YGSDCYUGDUYGKFWECYGUKWFEYGUK ROMAN

“Lexi tried to eat her witchlight to see if she would light up,” Georgia pointed out. “Of course, she doesn’t know what’s good for her!”

THESE DAMN HERONDALES GEORGE

IM GONNA CRY NO Their bond...HUYGYJUDYJDSCHUKDUKYDFV the way Georgia knew

“That’s just a common misconception,” dada laughed. “Do you think I’m the responsible one in my parabatai relationship? Or is it Clary? I literally summoned angel Raziel in the middle of a farm and your Clary raised her boyfriend from the dead.”

“And if you think Alec is the responsible parabatai then I have a lot of stories to tell you,” Mama chuckled to herself.

HYSUHYSCUDUYIDHUDFVUIFDVUKHFVDU

I dont think that it was Lexi telling Georgia about the test that fucked it up. there is definitely something more to it.

It sounded so simple. Georgia frowned at that. “But what I mess up?”

“Then we will call Magnus,” Mama said, and dada laughed at that.

TRUE

“Then I will wear it to my first day at the academy,” she grinned and walked away.

“I'm having war flashbacks to my middle school days. Our daughter is going to get bullied,” she heard dada whisper to her mother.

“Our daughter is going to be the biggest badass to walk this earth,” mama corrected.

“I thought you were the biggest badass to walk this earth,” dada chuckled.

“I’m going to retire.”

AWWW

Georgia and Simon are such nerds I LOVE THEM

M GONNA CRY

[5:49 PM]THEIR FRIENDSHIP

“That’s insane! If I want cool weapons, I will break into the adamant citadel,” Lexi sounded angry.

YES LETS GO ~!~(edited)

Georgia smiled at that. “I know, Lex. I just…I guess I couldn’t understand why would want to be my parabatai in the first place. I know I am a litte-”

“Talented? Brilliant? Incredible? Amazing? Show stopping? Spectacular? Never the same? Totally unique? Completely never been done before?”

“Stop quoting Lady Gaga!”

“Never!”

AHHHHHHHHHH THEM

“I don’t want to be born into greatness,” Lexi confessed quietly. “It makes me feel like I didn’t have a choice. I'm going to be great, I want to it be my choice.”

Georgia smiled. “I understand.”

“And you’re my first choice, Gigi,” Lexi whispered. “Cause you’re pretty damn great.”

FUCK THAT WOMAN BESTIE YOU DO YOU

Lexi chuckled with her and pulled back. “When things get rough, you are not going to abandon me and become an Iron Sister, right?”

“God, no!” Georgia shuddered thinking of the serious looking Iron Sisters in their white robes. “I don’t think I could pull of the white aesthetic.”

“You can pull off anything,” Lexi firmly disagreed.

“Besides, they can’t get married,” Georgia pointed out, and Lexi made a face. “What if Harry Styles finally replies to my fan mail? It’s too risky.”

i would die for these two no questions asked. look im against smoking but alec smoking is my aesthetic LEAVE ME AND MY PIZZA (with way too many veggies fuck you my brother) ALONE

“Uncle Alec,” she said. “You better not smoke again after I leave.”

“Or you will tell Magnus?” he grinned.

“No. I will tell granny.”

His grin disappeared immediately. “Damn. Okay. Fine. No smoking.”

I CHOKED-

GEORGIA MAKING LEXI HAIR CLIPS OUT OF ADAMAS

“Oh shit, was I supposed to get something you too?” Lexi asked awkwardly. “I thought I didn’t have to…cause I kinda gave you my soul as a gift and all that.”

Georgia chuckled. “I accept your gift.”

“Good,” Lexi grinned. “Cause it’s non-refundable.”

sigh herondales (affectionate)

Also I don't think I'm ever getting over Magnus as Dumbledore

I AM OFFICIALLY NAMING MYSELF PROTECTOR OF GEORGIA LOVELACE LIGHTWOOD IDC IDC

damn it's almost 7 am- my sleep's fucked. BYE!!!

YOUR REACTIONS GIVE ME SO MUCH LIFE.

If you ever want to do one of those live reaction videos on YouTube for shows and stuff, you should totally give it a go. I think you would KILL IT.

Gigi and Lexi have the purest form of friendship. I can't wait to show you more of it!

Laters x.

[myheartbeatskids]

So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.

And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.

So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.

And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.

I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.

So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.

So then essentially i was kidnapped.

Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.

Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.

So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.

Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.

It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.

Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.

So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.

So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.

So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.

This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.

Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.

So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"

And Bria after me.

Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.

She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.

Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.

They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.

Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.

And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.

Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually

Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.

This is Declan.

He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"

Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!

"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"

Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...

Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.

So i didn't take it seriously enough.

But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.

So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.

The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....

Yet I still don't agree that it was.

However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.

And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.

So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....

But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.

As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!

Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.

I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.

So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.

So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.

So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.

So 360° K i own.

So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.

I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.

Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...

I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.

We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.

They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.

I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.

One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.

But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.

Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.

You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.

We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.

And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...

Cargo my bitches!

Jesse: No! I only ask!

Me: who do i have to convince?

Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?

Me: Ava who is your dad?

Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah

Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?

She nods all teary..

Jesse: well did i get loves?!

Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!

Jesse: well it got gas now!!!

Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.

Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.

Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.

Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!

Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.

Jesse: WHOA SHIT!

Me: Jeremiah you down?

Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?

Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!

Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go

Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me

Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.

Matt: IN!!

Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?

Pops: not if i don't have to

M3: you don't

Pops: shit! Oh yeah!

Chuck: what about Cookie!!

Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to

Chuckie: oh Cookies going!

Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.

Jesse: yes you did!

Me: no wonder it looked familiar.