#im just highkey fucking done with its bullshit

[omegawolverine]

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

[roiscancelled]

lmao don’t think we don’t see your ass, racist ro. @violinsts / @ordinarvii / @shewolv  we see your ass interacting with white ocs that were adopted by reginald and were a part of the umbrella academy , we see you interacting with ocs that literally picked through a certain blog's canon (you know who we talking about boo, don't play dumb) — ocs that can manipulate dreams or are 6'5 , hop through dimensions, nonbinary, have curly hair, etc etc. we see your ugly racist white ass saying that ocs that were adopted by reginald and were nice to vanya were "diminishing the weight of her story and discounting the abuse all those kids went through by reginald." nice to know that.... one kid being nice to vanya and being on her side, would discount her trauma/abuse . you dumb or nah, it doesn't negate any of their abuse , you muppet looking ninny . INTERESTING THAT, YOU HAVE HEADCANONS THAT STATE THAT KLAUS AND FIVE AND BEN ARE CLOSEST WITH VANYA, but according to your logic wouldnt THAT ALSO DISCOUNT ALL THE ABUSE THE KIDS WENT THROUGH? AND DIMINISH THE WEIGHT OF VANYAS STORY? You say you ain't directing that at anyone but you and I both know just WHOMST you was talking about, we ain't dumb. oh but you do interact with other, whiter ocs that were adopted by reginald. tell me, kaylee, how does one oc negate all the abuse / trauma that they went through? especially whe youre the only person who truly believes this. when reginald was in fact ready to adopt more than the seven kids he had and him having more than those seven kids still wouldnt diminish her story or invalidate the abuse they all went through. abuse is abuse. no matter how many children he has . no matter how nice one kid is. 

but please, explain to us mere mortals. im really interested. kermit.png .

while you dig through that brain of yours to come up with some explanation as to why and how one kid being nice to vanya or being friendly with her would diminish the weight of her story or discount the abuse she and the others went through, HERES A GOOD READ. AND ANOTHER ONE. 

lmao and we definitely saw your ass when you were ignoring all these ocs in your "oc friendly" server , when they tried to talk about their ocs yall ignored them and made them feel like shit. but the SECOND someone talked about white canon characters like klaus or vanya or hell even dave , you were all on that like white on rice . y'all were really that transparent . not to mention , you banned all these black and brown folk from your server after they called out some antisemitism and were complaining about it later , and even people who weren't part of that were kicked (someone was legit kicked for saying fuck pewdiepie . Kay) . your scraggly ass really called everything as "drama". you didn't talk to any of these people but you let the ONE person who started the drama stay in the server.

AND THEN WE FIND OUT YOUR ASS WAS DRAGGED IN THE HAMILTON FANDOM FOR BEING A RACIST ASS MUPPET, FETISHIZING MLM AND OTHER SHIT, AND WE THOUGHT TO OURSELVES : HM, THIS BITCH REALLY HASNT CHANGED HUH? STILL UGLY AND RACIST. AND YOU ALL BUT ADMITTED IT RIGHT HERE LMAO, AND STRAIGHT UP ADMITTED IT RIGHT HERE . in that first post you CALLED IT “DRAMA FROM THREE YEARS AGO.” that my dear, just proves that you aint sorry and that its all just old drama to you. YOU were the reason there was drama in the hamilton fandom, you piece of shit. YOU, not anyone else. YOU were the one who chased people outta the fandom, YOU are the one who was transphobic, YOU were the one who was racist. YOU. and people calling your ugly ass out isnt “old drama” or whatever. its protectng minors from people LIKE YOU. 

RO booboo , you can make blogs for allison and black ocs but that doesnt negate the other ugly ass racist shit youve done, the migroaggressions, the passive aggressive bullshit . you can pretend that you aint racist and scream it until you”re blue in the face but we all know that you racist . we black folk just KNOW when a white is racist. we FEEL IT IN OUR BONES ( and you booboo are racist ). you were called out. you were being lowkey racist and then highkey racist . you made someone feel shitty about their ocs. you fetishize klaus and dave and erase klaus’ PANSEXUALITY. HES PANSEXUAL BECKY. PANSEXUAL. NON BINARY, PANSEXUAL. ( click on the links booboo you might learn something ). 

this is who yall love huh. 

[mentalsims]

sadly, a callout post that i really didnt want to do but eh

just a forewarning, if you’re cool with pixelatedmuffins (lyn) thats fine with me... if not, just dont... bully her even though she lied... not in the mood but this was necessary. this her discord btw for the people confused lowkey -> Ms. Alpaca#4911

just a small summary of what im about to cover in this post:

how she’s putting words in my mouth when i aint say none of those things

how she knows what she is doing

and how she keeps talking and bashing my name behind my back yet i havent said a damn thing about her

enjoy the tea my friends

okay first off, hello hey. 

welcome to sipping tea with me 

imma summarize everything as best as i can so this post wont be long af (its still long af)

okay... this all started over a fallout between her (pixelatedmuffins/lyn) and my girlfriend... a ship breakup to be specific. lyn wasnt listening and was putting words in my friends mouth yada yada. yeah... so she decides to message me to see where me and her stand for some reason

then she left our ship channel that she made...

ngl i was irritated at the fact that she still kept... assuming things. its a pet peeve of mine (fun irrelevant fact). it got annoying and i ended the conversation tbh. 

theen she messages me

and i texted this back

i realized she blocked me after i was being honest about how i felt and yep.

so i was like fuck it. she’s mad.. ill let her calm down. then i got a notification from her tumblr saying that she made a post (its deleted now). she pretty much was subbing me... i didnt get a screenshot of it before she deleted it but it pretty much was about “you cant be a people pleaser when the people dont appreciate getting pleased” or whatever. so i confronted her because she was honestly talking about me.

i sent that. kept it real af. (imma get to the tea soon. i promise) but remember this post above. just keep it in mind

anywho... so i went on twitter and shit right, to check if she was still talking about me... and she was

so i confronted that ass again because ion play that

petty ik but it was how i felt. the next morning i got check to see if she replied

nope.

mhmm...so i was over it completely. moved on and blocked her ass back on all her accounts with no hesitation

then my lovely... best friend came thru and told me some shit that irritated tf outta me... the girl talking shit about me... lies at that

she straight up was talking about me and said straight fucking lies...

so let me point out the bullshit she was typing

number 1: i never called her out of her name (look at the screenshots yourself) nor have i talked about her.

number 2: this gone be an interactive game lmao (the tumblr message yall) where... in the living fuck, did i call her a bad mom?? or!! did i say that “i hope your baby live”??  maybe im blind like dora football head ass because i cant see it anywhere.

im just saying... but thanks to my best friend again, she help snoop and found some more bullshit

imma address every muthafuckin thang wrong in this shit

number fucking 1: she highkey called me a pedophile when she knows and all my motherfucking friends fucking know that im not. me and my girlfriend(16) got to-fucking-gether when she was 16 and i was 18. thats honestly normal (and i should out her fucking age gap with her fiance but im nice) and on top of that, me and said gf never did anything sexual or anything of that nature. dead ass. me and her live in two completely different states and i never visit nor has she.

number fucking 2: she did put words in my mouth (look at the screenshots yall) and i never said that she was doing that for that reason. she keeps switching shit up and removing evidence. point blank obvious

number fucking 3: i never call her ass a liar. i called her immature for subbing me instead of talking to me like a grown adult she’s supposed to fucking be. (twitter screenshots)

number muthafuckin 4: where in the flying fuck did i say “i hope your baby lives” ???? like bitch where

anywho, i got irritated lmao my bad. my friend then exposed lyn on them lies because i showed her screenshots. keepin it 100. (note: lyn did  not have screenshots. just saying) so after my friend exposed what she was doing, this is what lyn said

pretty. much. saying. that. shes. fucking. lying. 

she has no receipts, no evidence, not a damn thing but her pity party craving ass imagination. 

im done... imma say is this, if that immature ass adult talks about me again, its on and popping. idgaf. she keeps trying to ruining my name and reputation for no reason.

but thats the tea. sorry for the long ass post yall.

enjoy yall’s day/night 

[fvcking-wicked]

wooo long post life update and general stream of consciousness post who's ready for ittttt

okay so I’ve been living in Nashville for two months now and WOW lemme just say that I am in LOVE with this place. I super want to move here after I graduate next year. My internship and job have been pretty solid most of the people I work with a pretty cool but some people at my internship just suck and the person who owns the company I work at is highkey crazy but other than that its good. 

Basically, someone asked me today if I was happy. I thought about it and I said that I was happier than I’ve been in awhile but I’m not full of joy or anything. I haven’t been truly happy in awhile and while I love Nashville, I kind of sit around at home and don’t do much when Im not at either of my jobs. When I do stuff its great but I’m also really dreading going back to Greeley. Before I left, I was triggered by the guy I had been hooking up with when he did something my ex from Arizona did (that guy seriously fucked me up thanks for driving me back to therapy you fuck) and combined with 3 hours of sleep, many hours of drinking, fucking up my knees on the way home, AND this fucker drunkenly telling me he LOVED ME the night before (wtf he literally is bipolar I swear) I kind of lost it and went full psycho on him and even though he kind of deserved it tbh I still feel gross about what I did and my flight instinct has been kicking me real hard, even though I know I can't just pick up and leave. A big part of me just wants to rewind three years and go back to before I left for college, before I met Shane, and before I lost really being happy. But then I think about all the people I would've missed out on, the experiences, the love (even if it was bullshit), the adventures, and the growing up I’ve done. I can honestly say I am not the person I was three years ago (thank god) and I’m not the person I was two months ago. Now, more than ever, I just want to graduate and start my life and never look back on college. Honestly y’all its been rough. College hasn't been the best years of my life and I wish I could say it was but it hasn't been. Its been trying, depressing, and just all around fucked up and hard. I’ve been through a lot but I think I’m a better person for it, and definitely more mature. I realized (fucking finally) I dont need one night stands and meaningless flings. I dont need to focus my time and energy on people who won't matter in a year. I need to focus on me and loving myself and getting to be the best person that I can be and finding a career, and maybe finding someone along the way. 

Anyways, life is okay, I’m not terribly depressed or anxious anymore, Nashville is rad, and everything is going to turn out just fine. If you actually read this, thanks, and I promise I’m not insane :)

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#2)

\haha yeah I was totally planning on sleeping but I literally cannot think about anything else other than getting this idea out of my brain. so, we will try to get through the finale of s2: Love Hurts. please enjoy.

-okay so right off the bat before even starting the episode, i noted a few things. the episode description is “Robin experiences complications and a new face arrives at the hospital.” How fucking annoying that it’s the season finale and the entire episode is centered around connor? of course, at this point we don’t know that the ‘new face’ is his future love interest.

-also!!! the fact that ava is mentioned in the episode description of the season finale? That’s huge!

-the episode description makes it sound like nothing fucking happens in this episode.

-also i am extremely scared to start the ep bc i feel like it is going to through me straight back into the deep end and put me in a state of emotional shock.

-i will try to take very deep breaths before the episode starts. okay. here we go.

-does this episode open with robin being carted in on the ambo bc if this is the ep im thinking about, i remember appreciating how angsty this scene was

-i still remember charles yelling ‘2 of adavan!’

-okay hi sarah i really was not expecting to see you this soon

-oh wow. just. sarah calling shots in the ed. in control. you love to see it. also. im just now remembering how early in the ep we get to meet ava. i always remembered it as being at the very end but. i remember connor being distraught with his messy hair.

-also i’m highkey loving how out-of-control connor is rn

-reese. god i missed you so much.

-they counted again. love that.

-okay but like i have no analysis just every time sarah’s onscreen i just want to say ‘i love you’

- i have not heard sarah speak in a HOT SEC and god i forgot how deep her voice was and it is sending me (its not even that deep i just like, forgot.) It has been years and I honestly think i have forgotten who sarah really was. sad.

-like i don’t remember the last time i could describe her as in control but right now treating robin she’s calm (honestly bc she’s the only other shrink on the show, but HOLD ON WAIT DOESNT CHARLES GET SHOT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. reese has one moment. and then her and charles start bickering. i remember why i was so mad)

-i’m in love with her.

-i really have to sit through the next 40 mins of this and just everytime i see sarah going ‘i love her,’ and now you do too.

-oh my god CHARLES SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CANNOT BLAME CONNOR FOR THIS

-also the reason i became disillusioned: dr charles just started being suuuuuper sus.

-i do love sarah. and honestly, connor, not my favorite, but this storyline really made me empathize with him. his girlfriend is having a psychotic break and people keep shitting on him. (maybe the reason i didn’t like ava at first. really kicked him while he was down)

-I... haha. sarah. hnghhh. you can guess the rest.

-if you were in this situation, with robin, would you be thinking like connor or would you be thinking like charles? personally- connor. Robin was fine. maybe a little impulsive to take her home, but charles was being suuuper overprotective (from what I remember).

-Charles: “This is on you. You did this.” I remember that line hitting really hard when I watched it the first time lmao damn.

-SARAH. HER EYES ARE RED. SHE’S SAD. SHE’S CRYING! COME ONNNN MEDDD YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!!! (and I swallowed my water the wrong way which somehow triggered my gag reflex so now im crying too please god stop Im sorry what did I do)

-yay sarah. hey guys look at that. sarah gets to, like, do her job.

-ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT S3 STILL SUCKS FOR SARAH BC OF HER INTENSE INTENSE PTSD??? LIKE SHE WHOLE ASS PEPPERSPRAYS HER PATIENT???

-also these are the clothes charles got shot in and honestly i’m not even mad. I’m mad that him getting shot put sarah through so much pain (i talked a lot about ava but y’all are really gonna see just how protective i am of sarah. like god even I forgot.)

-you can see how much sarah cares about connor. which is like, fantastically crazy. (it fuels the rheese shippers which is why i tend to be against it) but just like, that’s just how sarah is. she cares so much. she’s not even close to connor, but you can see how much she cares. this is why its so unfair for sarah to work in psych. like, she’s way too soft for that come on man. (y’all remember the huge car crash episode and at the end she tells ethan that it was nice to be back in the ed bc you can fix people’s bodies but not their minds? 1) she was adorable in that. 2) i am so scared for her. she just cares too much)

-okay but the above bullet is probably the exact reason why people ended up shipping ava and sarah. they both are characters who care way more than they let on. sarah is the only one in the hospital who would probably give ava a second chance after an icy first encounter. That being said, being realistic? ava is probably the only one who would she the bullshit that sarah has to go through everyday, so she would never have the icy first encounter. which in turn sets sarah’s empathy bells off or whatever.

-honestly? ava is a mean to people because she thinks they deserve it. that’s it. she’s not a bitch or anything like that (and yeah, ava stans do a little bit of overlooking her behavior bc hey if a careless med student bumps into her while passing by, thats on them). (and of course, in this world and in reesker minds, sarah has never done anything wrong, ever.)

-look guys, i did it. i boiled reesker down to its bare essentials! (lmao tho literally walking through it again from almost a totally fresh perspective, it is still so easy to see how they would have been great together.)

-also. uh. not to pile on the reesker but. ----- connor just got paged by latham. is-is it happening?

-refusing to go home and sleep because the person you care most about is lying in a hospital bed is such classic angst oh my god

-wtf? charles has meds i completely forgot? for his heart? when is he gonna get shot the suspense is killing me.

-ALSO. YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT S3 SARAH HAD TO DEAL WITH PTSD AND A POSSIBLE PATIENT LAWSUIT. AT THE SAME TIME HER FATHER WAS BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDER, AT THE SAME TIME HE TRIED TO RECONNECT. it is a fucking crime that that is the season we have to rewatch. its a crime they abused her so much.

-waiting for charles to keel over and die like

-the worst thing is that like, he actually cares. he actually truly cares about sarah, he just did a lot of bad things. so sarah has to justify them all! and sarah had no idea how to feel because now she’s disillusioned again. please chill

-lmao stoll wow 

-oh. soft sweet boy noah. he really doesn’t know better, and that’s almost the worst thing.

-also. dr. shore. that’s really all i have to say about that.

-ohhhhh my god nat fucking chill

-what is it with couples on mad and not being allowed to be happy. (this could be about reesker if you, like, reallyyyy squint)

-aw! hey, look! it’s jay! he’s nice to look at too. ooh i also forgot how deep his voice was lol

-counting

- i honestly forgot what a good source of angst this show was. this guys parents are flying in from germany to go to his graduation and then he got hit by a car??? damn

- i still forget how much i like the cop/doctor brother duo. I love it.

-GUYSSS

-GUYSSS ITS HAPPENING

-the air literally left my lungs I am not ready.

-ITS FUCKING

-oh my god

-it is 3 am and I just screamed out loud holy shit

-I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT. IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH HER IN CASUAL CLOTHES. THAT IS AT THE END. I FORGOT THEY INTERACT WITH HER IN SCRUBS

- I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT

--holy shit she is fucking stunning. she was just allowed to be like that? in her first introduction? while connor looks like complete shit? IMAGINE THE POWER SHE HAS HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE GREATEST POWER MOVE IVE EVER SEEN.

-uh for those of you who are confused, ava bekker has entered the scene and holy. shit. is she fucking amazing. and she hasn’t even said a word yet. all she did was turn

-H E R P O W E R

-uhhuufhuahdoas back to the analysis - latham reiterated all of the points we just discussed in the premiere, only goes to show how this was planned, from the start.

- t h e p o w e r ava has to step on the scene and instantly fuck things up. I ASPIRE

-okay let me try again to move forward. (nope. i tried to go back to the tab and just. the expression on her face. guys. i cannot express the emotions. we will press on)

-deep breaths

-she’s so pretty oh my god

-I-uh- okay listen. it is really, really, really hard to analyze this because i have not watched an actual scene or actually heard her talk in her very very pretty accent in two years. I, uh, i need a minute.

-i honestly cannot recall a thing she just said. (i am literally in fucking love) (i’m gonna go back and rewatch the scene and see what I pick up)

-THE----the fucking way she puts her hand back in her pocket

-GOD IM FUCKING GAY

-as for analysis - god that cheeky little smile.

-she’s blunt. is what took me about 75 words to say. this is gonna be a nightmare. (if i torture myself and make myself watch s4 and s5 then I’ll be really sad) (at this point can you imagine what would’ve happened if i had watched her death? I’m remembering exactly how crushed I was)

-OH. YEAH. IN CASE YOU FORGOT? THAT GIRL? THE SNARKY ONE? ON SCREEN RIGHT NOW? SHE’S. FUCKING. DEAD. CANONICALLY SHES DEAD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

-like just that fact is sending me so hard. i am already so sad. I had like thirty seconds of elation. it’s not FUCKING FAIR

- i need another minute. AND SHE STILL HAS ANOTHER LINE.

-this doesn’t really pertain to the theory but the “loyal, that’s sweet” line has got to mean something. Like something to be said about how connor couldn’t commit to her in s4. (its just so fucking unfair that she’s dead but we really need to move on)

-this also means that ava isn’t entirely loyal? bc she’s looking down on connor for being loyal? I um really don’t have all the info to unpack All of that, but it should be noted.

-DID YOU CONNOR? DID YOU ENJOY WORKING TOGETHER???

-from ava stan perspective: @ connor you like made her life hell, which wasn’t your fault but still. uhh she’s the one that’s dead, you’re not, so obviously one of you enjoyed it a little more. let’s move on.

-i love her.

-haha oh man jack kelloggs back. FUCKING MERC HIS ASS (i don’t hate charles that much and this storyline gave me so much fucking anxiety throughout the ep)

-god jack kelloggs such an asshole

-OKAY BRUH ETHAN AND APRIL HAVE A THING THIS SEASON? jesus this show really moves

-there are a lot of things I could complain about.

-will: “Why’d she do that? Cut her hair. A woman makes a change like that, it’s a big deal.” S4 AVA WHAT DOES IT MEAN

-i can’t believe its the season finale and they have enough time for will to ask maggie why nat cut her hair. this show is the reason I have anxiety. charles is about to get shot and what are you doing

-oh. oh wow. noah and sarah bickering/noah flirting. it’s like, adorable. which i don’t think is really fair. just, sarah’s the best

-I- uh- can’t believe that was the first time I watched an ava scene in years? that was a really big step for me?? god wow.

-god remember how sarah just like, saved robin? yall remember that? REMEMBER WHEN SARAH COULD DO THINGS? there’s a reason i hated this show.

-okay but just like the fact that charles was - content with letting his daughter be holed up in a room for the foreseeable future? when sarah had a perfectly logical answer? who is he trying to undermine here? (and that is why i hate charles)

-sharon: “where’s the daniel who doesn’t give up? doesn’t your own daughter deserve that much?” kind of a reach but if charles really cares about sarah as much as he does, and sharon knows this, the double meaning here is almost impeccable.

-oh hey guys! ava’s back!

-okay this is like super nitpicky but at this point it feels like norma didn’t have the accent down packed and its a little exaggerated and awkward at times but, come on, still love her.

-Ava: “excuse me, you’re an emergency medicine resident, why are we even talking” AVA BEKKER REALLY TAKES NO SURVIVORS (the writers just really weren’t banking on the fans being that attracted to ava) (like i forgot how blunt she was and holy shit. wow. i kinda see where the haters were coming from. its amazing to see how we clawed her back tho [by we i mean the lesbians])

-analytical. That’s what ava is. It’s almost like that thing where people purposefully say something outlandish just to gauge people’s reaction. she doesn’t argue with connor, at least not now. she just looks between him and ethan, sees she’s outnumbered, and walks off. She doesn’t know how the place works yet. she’s testing the waters. - this could be why she slowly gets more and more confrontational as the series progresses. she sees that no matter what, everyone will be on connor’s side. she doesn’t fight a losing battle. but when you’re constantly losing, its frustration. (reminder, these things only hold true in s3. s4 doesn’t exist)

-I’m fucking?? where the hell did jeff go?

-also, oh, this is maggie’s storyline. the guy dies right but he wanted to propose to the girl? wait no that doesn’t seem right...

-yooo its the girl in the gorilla costume. certified iconic. also how the hell did they have enough time for all this crap in the finale. this show fucking moves.

-for like a split second i forgot that noah and april were siblings

-noah’s a sweetie

-oh hey look it’s ava

-knock knock. who’s there? oh boy, point one for ava stans, she’s right about the surgery (potential evidence showing how this is the first scene of connor not being shit/actually being out or equally matched)

-OKAY WOW SARAH GO OFF (she’’s just fantastic i mean look at her. she’s adorable)

-ava: “Why do all the residents in this hospital think they can offer their opinions?” DR BEKKER PLEASE (okay but like i said last ep i had the exact same question. go off ava)

-connor just took control of the case (first instance of ava outright saying ‘i disagree’) (and let me guess, he’s gonna be right in the end because he literally fucking always is)

-if you look at it from a different perspective, ava was necessary. they needed someone to put connor in his place. at least, she tried. (very disappointing that she also had to sleep with him but that’s not the current point) if they wanted to fix his problem of coming off as spoiled, ava gave him a force to fight against, to earn his stars. they could’ve done it better, and actually had him lose a few times. because what does constantly letting connor win do? it undermines ava, it also undermines his attending. his attending who he is constantly having to stick up for. dude. hero complex chill. ava never had a hero complex. which cannot be said for a lot of the people on the show (IF YOU EVEN TRY TO ARGUE THIS POINT IS WRONG I POINT YOU TO THE EPISODE WHERE AVA PUSHED THE CREDIT FOR THE SURGERY ONTO CONNOR WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER WAS HUGGING HER) they did it wrong. they tried to, idk, fix connor by giving him humility, but they kind of completely forgot the humility part. and the part where he learns things. HE EVEN HAS TO STAND UP FOR AVA TO HER OWN MENTOR. LITERALLY? DUDE? FUCKING. CHILL.

-okay but that’s what it is though. ava was always meant to be the villain. because she was always a counter for connor. and connor is the hero. (you may be thinking this goes against my theory because I’m fighting for ava rights, but my actual theory is that ava was never supposed to stay past s3. the only reason she stayed was because she became a fan favorite. she was supposed to take connor’s mayo clinic offer. and you know how it probably would have happened? Connor probably would have gave her the offer. letting him be the hero one last time. [of course, this isn’t what happened. we all know.])

-OKAY FUCK THIS RESIDENT? “good call, Dr. Rhodes” SHUT THE FUCK UP??? (resident speaking rights revoked)

-I have nothing for this but just want to point out how she looks around and says “yes” all contemplative. god if i could just think about what she was thinking

-jack bro stop

-okay. was there ever an active shooter in the hospital when ava was around. bc if there was. i legally need to know

-lmao stoll

-sarah... makes me smile.

-fun fact: we are at about the half way mark. I am so sorry.

-no no no nono. so, robin just got diagnosed and is getting prepped for surgery. Sarah. don’t give charles credit for solving it. stop.

-Hey! yall remember how the best characters on the show only got thirty seconds of onscreen time together? yeah! I’m still mad about it too!

-aww connor being worried. (i think im fine with connor as long as like, ava is no where near. this scene is just very pure)

-when is this guy gonna get shot already

-aww he loves her. i want to kill him. (why? playboy. gets feelings way too quick. stop him. keep him away from ava)

-HAHAHAH okay. robin just got put into surgery and latham and ava are performing it (is it a brain surgery? yes. are they ct surgeons? yes. don’t ask questions) BUT you can see this emotion on ava’s face. she feels sorry for him. it’s up for us to decide if its condescending or she just feels bad for or bc she is on a surgery he wanted, but for the sake of opinion, i’m inclined to say she just felt bad for him (cough empathy cough)

-literally everytime charles is on screen im like when is he gonna get shot

-this scene where both connor and charles admit they were wrong is very nice (hey actually look, connor does have humility! not in front of ava tho so hmm) (sexual tens- literally no, shut the fuck up)

-HAHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT CONNORS MOM KILLED HERSELF?? HOLY SHIT? THIS FUCKING GUY LITERALLY CANT CATCH A BREAK (maybe take a hint bro? and go far far away? well he did. too little too late ig)

-connor: “i obviously couldn’t save my mom, but I sure as hell didn’t try to save robin” *through cupped hands* HEY! HEY CONNOR! D-DID YOU TRY? WITH AVA? DID YOU TRY? okay literally what is it with this guy and people dying. for such a good surgeon... oh yeah, irony.

-hi sarah! how nice of you to check in with connor and charles about robin!

-sarah: *looks between charles and connor, who have probably agreed on something for the first time since connor got with robin* “everything okay?” literally she’s so sweet my heart.

- sarah: *laughs in disbelief* SARAH STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY FULL

-this man needs to button the top button of his shirt, i do not like that i can see it

-I------ HOLY SHIT?

-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING WARN ME THAT JOEY WAS STILL ON THE SHOW???

-FUCKING EXCUSE ME???

- the air left lungs on that one again, i was Not expecting that.

-HOLD THE FUCK ON. I JUST WENT OF HIS WIKI AND HE APPEARS IN S4??? FUCKING WHAT??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID AND IF IT WAS IMPORTANT

-sarah reese is such a fucking dork she got her boyfriend a rubik’s cube as a gift?? a guy who is so nerdy that he definetly already has like five of them. hmm. things don’t add up. also he’s nerdy enough to give back a gift at the breakup. dude seriously. get some social cues. in like the bargin bin at goodwill. please.

-IF SARAH FUCKING CRIES I SWEAR TO GOD

-oh yeah she’s pregnant. that’s how the story ends.

-okay. natalie comes off as empathetic but like, in the most condescending way.

-like its fucking obvious she’s only ever caring about herself (ava bekker would never. sarah reese would never. get your head out of your ass) (ok wow that aggression came from nowhere lmao)

- i really wanna say something about - Connor: “We all know that love can hurt, but loneliness? that’ll kill you.” have fun with that fic writers. (insert obvious connection to loneliness killing ava? have we had enough? this doesn’t pertain to the theory)

-jesus will at this point stop hesitating at the ‘if we’re wrong, it could kill him’ stage. we all know you don’t care

-how funny would it be if the family just like, disowned that girl

-this will nat and co. love triangle is already so fucking exhausting

-JAY REALLY SAID WILL I AM TAKING NONE OF YOUR BS

-is he really about to break up with her. right now. i swear to fucking god

-this is so fucking stupid (what i would pay for ava to hand him his ass right here right now) (that’s a hc idea right there)

-FUCKING LEAVE ALREADY WILLIAM

-sarah and noah stay adorable

-aww stolllll, my heart

-lmao i forgot the girl who played robin was on once upon a time and i was like ‘ive seen her recently what was it’

-FINALLY HES GONNA FUCKING GET SHOT! HELL YES!

-charles looks high as balls

-the queen returns. she’s back

-IM GONNA FUCKING JUMP OFF A CLIFF

-okay. from the previous ep i mentioned ava’s line being something like ‘you’re quite the gossip magnet, your mother commited suicide, drove your girlfriend crazy, and you murdered your attending.” right?  we all remember that?

-well lads, do we remember connor’s response?

-connor: “...Well you’d better watch yourself, hadn’t you?”

-...

- I-

-hahahah this is not okay.

-AND GOD. JUST THE WAY AVA TAKES IT AND JUST SMILES, ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. holy shit. this fucking breaks my heart.

-i like almost can’t even appreciate the easy ending of noah’s grad party.

-oh yeah charles still hasn’t gotten shot.

-god sarah is still adorable. the way she finally relaxes FOR ONCE and lets herself have fun. fun fact: this may be the last time we see sarah just easily enjoying herself. also maybe the first.

- i am officially starting the save ava campaign, anyone who wants to join can. the goal is pretty simple. save ava. save our hearts.

-oh my god is he finally going to get shot?? like what dude come on

Okay. another episode down, the first full one, and what have we learned?

Well, this was Ava’s first episode and we learned how it seems she was doomed from the start. It makes no sense, even just her writing is disconnected from s2 to s3, like how do they do that? This ava lines up so well with s4 ava it’s almost uncanny. if you completely cut out s3 her character arc would make complete sense, in a frighteningly tidy way.

Like I said at the top, the fact that Ava was referenced in the episode description of the season finale is huge. It means she is a big character, ground shaking, almost. I really don’t know why they had to make this introduction at the end of s2 and not the beginning of s3, other than making it fit with the three month time jump that i’m pretty sure starts the season.

The way I see it, Ava had 4 main interactions/points. 1) She called connor loyal (and was blunt about Latham) 2) She remarks that residents shouldn’t have speaking rights (that one’s just funny) and disagrees with connor on the surgery, which they go with connor’s decision because of course they do. granted they switch to her plan midway through) 3) connor takes over her surgery after they disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved. Connor is right. and 4) we have the final ‘I like dangerous men’ interaction.

Let’s focus on the train of Ava vs. Connor disagreements. If we go by my previous statement which was Ava was designed as the villain to Connor’s hero, so the hero could win the favor of the public by defeating the villain, the trajectory of their interactions is not surprising in the slightest.

First, Connor wins the first point bc they initial go with his plan. Then, mid surgery, they have to switch to Ava’s plan, because she was right. This obviously pisses him off, that he was wrong and she was right.  His crown had been knocked askew. But then, he wrestles it back. They disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved, connor takes complete control, and he actually ends up saving him.

It’s interesting that the final disagreement came at the sake of a patient’s life. Ava was quick to dismiss the heart as gone, but Connor fought for it, being the hero. It’s easy to shut Ava down right then and there, call her heartless and call it a day.

if s4 had come immedietely (i have no clue how to spell that) after, it would be completely in character for ava to be a psychopath from what little we’ve seen. And honestly, no one would care. The villain would get her due justice.

Let’s switch gears to the conspiracy theory, or the redemption arc. whichever sounds cooler.

A hero is only as good as their villain. That’s really my argument. At this point, yeah, s4 seems like it was planned, just based on s2.

Okay, so, what? Is that another layer of the theory that I’m adding? that the connor/ava plot of s4 was ACTUALLY supposed to be in s3? I... no. we’ve established that is is very rare for the med writers to plan storylines that far ahead. so what am I saying?

I think that the s4 plot was actually a scrapped plot potentially to be used in s3. and when they were left floundering at the end of s3 for an answer? they retreated. sacrificing character development in the process.

So what the hell happened in s3? A horrible fluke? why was it so different?

in s3 ava became more of a rival and less of a villain. while those words can have very similar meanings, the bulk of it is that neither of them really wanted to be that mean each other, they never went out of their way to stomp on the other (at least that I’m aware of). they just were always forced to work together, naturally leading to friction.

This shift meant all the difference. Connor no longer had to beat Ava. it wasn’t required. as a result, ava was very very slowly allowed to interact with people other than connor. she was allowed to slightly develop.

Why the shift? well, the conspiracy theory suggests it’s because they wanted someone who could follow up connor if he left at the end. IF they were true rivals, each of them should be able to hold their own without each other.

okay yeah, i managed to get like 4k words out of like 5 minutes a screen time and 8 lines. jesus christ.still didnt do my hw tho

next we watch the premiere of s3 and see what happens. thanks for reading

-

read the next parts:

Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[mysplaced-pen]

Heyo~ Its Stars Anon here ! Like I said yesterday, todays request is gonna be kind of an angst one (???) So, how would the RFA + V + Saeran help MC get out of an unwanted abusive relationship? Sorry if its a bit much but I crave angst mk. Anyways I hope you have a good day/night ! Be safe and stay positive ! (Lolol thats becoming my catchphrase i guess) -Stars Anon

Stars Anon, I like,,, really like this request. I don’t know why, but I got so excited when I read this. i think its cause i need to practice my angst so let’s go! (⌐■_■) look its a V emoji

thanks for the daily request! good night/day to you too, and stay safe as well!! (i think it is lol

this got hella long;;; EDIT: but i rly liked this one so..i took off the cut...whoops

 v and saeran are here!  [tw: violence, abuse, language, unhealthy relationships smh] 

zen

zen was highkey upset when they learned that mc was taken already

but as long as they were happy, well, he was too 

they did grow close, though! the two of them were good friends

zen actually met the person mc was dating 

they seemed nice and seemed to have a connection to mc

but he’d be lying if he said that it didn’t hurt a little

mc’s date mate kissed them in front of zen once and wow did that sting  

but one night, zen heard a knock on his door. and he was so confused because it was past midnight

he opened the door to find mc, crying and with a developing black eye 

automatically brought them inside and had them sit on the couch

“mc! are you alright? no, that was stupid, what happened? who hurt you?” 

they can’t answer through their tears at first so zen kneels in front of them and wipes them gently 

“take your time..i’m right here, mc. you can tell me anything”

they manage to choke out that their date mate hit them during a fight

zen was shocked. their date mate did that? they hit mc? 

what he wanted to do, was get up and punch mc’s date mate right then 

but he focused on mc first. pulled them into a hug and offered them to stay the night 

once they stopped crying, zen brought them an ice pack and some tea

zen told them they had to get out of that relationship, but mc refused at first 

“mc. they hit you.” “I know zen, but I can’t leave them..I shouldn’t even be here right now. oh my god, this is all my fault-”

“how is this your fault, mc? babe, you did nothing wrong.” “Don’t call me that! Please..don’t” they yelled that first part, which surprised zen 

he was about to ask, but there was a bang on his door 

mc yelped, sitting back on the couch. “they found me…” 

oh now zen is Angry. he opened the door and found mc’s date mate

“I know they’re in there! Give them back to me, right now. I wasn’t done with them.” mc is shaking in the back

zen, however, stood his ground. “how about you fuck off. mc isn’t going anywhere”

they punch zen (!) mc yelled out for him when they saw him stumble back 

zen is quick to recover though and punches them in return, harder. 

he manages to get them out of his house, but goes back to mc with a face worse than theirs

“zen! you shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry!” 

“they won’t bother you anymore, mc. you don’t have to apologize.”

“but-” “how about instead of apologizing, you stay with me instead?” “…i’d like that”

yoosung

yoosung was happy just having mc as a friend, at first

but then he developed a crush on them, which would’ve been fine and all, but they were already dating! 

he thought he was cursed for a few hours tbh 

unlike zen, yoosung never met mc’s date mate, but he’s heard stories 

mc smiles every time they tell those stories, so he tries to smile along with them, but it’s hard

and it was getting harder, but today was the day yoosung was supposed to meet mc’s date mate. he was going to go over to mc’s so they could all have lunch

when he got there, however, they were arguing.

“why do we have to have his kid over? I’m sure he just wants to get in your pants. And you’re gonna let him, aren’t you?” an unfamiliar voice. “of course not! yoosung is my friend..” mc’s voice 

“you don’t need friends! you’re dating me. I’m all you need, you whore” 

ok yoosung hates language like that, so he knocks on the door

mc’s date mate spoke again. “fuck off! you can’t have them, they’re mine.” “i’m sorry yoosung, maybe we can reschedule?” “reschedule my ass”..yoosung kind of lost his patience

he takes off his hair clip and picks the lock wow someone’s a badass

the door slams open and he can see mc flinch, but their date mate stands up

“mc is coming with me” and mc tries to go over to yoosung, but their date mate pulls them back over “take them from me, if you can” they smirk

yoosung knows that he probably can’t fight the person, but there’s something else he can do

no one is exactly sure how this happened, but now mc’s date mate is laid on the table, with yoosung holding them there 

“let me say this again. mc is coming with me.” “yeah, ok, sure dude.” 

yoosung lets them up and goes to take mc’s hand, but then the other person tackles yoosung instead

“yoosung!” mc yells out, running after the two of them, trying to get yoosung free

they eventually do get him off and mc slaps their date mate(ex date mate now) 

they run out and when they’re far enough, mc tells him that stuff like this has happened a lot..

yoosung hugged mc and kissed their forehead, “it’s over now, ill protect you”

jaehee

jaehee knew that mc was dating someone else, but that was fine, jaehee just wanted mc to be her friend, anyways. r u sure jaehee?

things were just fine! they all got along, everything was fine

until, out of nowhere, mc started hanging out with jaehee less

by now, they haven’t hung out with her in going on 2 weeks

jaehee gets a little worried, so she calls mc

and they pick up! but she can hear…sniffling?

“hey jaehee, sorry I haven’t been over lately” “I’m more worried about you, mc….is everything alright?” “oh, yeah! everything is ok, just..i don’t think i can hang out with you anymore, im so sorry-” 

and then mc hung up. well….that was weird

jaehee had a feeling there was probably more to this than mc let on

so she decided to head over to their place to check on them

but they weren’t there. their date mate’s house, then.

jaehee knocked on the door, mc’s date mate opened it and crossed their arms. 

“what do you want?” “is mc here?” “that’s none of your business” jaehee raised an eyebrow. “as their friend, it is a bit of my business…so they are here” “even if they were, you can’t see them.” 

jaehee takes a step forward, mc’s date mate doesn’t move. “mc?” she hears a little noise from inside. oh, they’re in there.

“you can’t keep them in here.” she says. “watch me.” they answer

“I won’t let you.” jaehee says, “i’d like to see you try.” they say in response

and then they spit on jaehee’s face

she wastes no time at all and literally flips them out on the ground outside. jaehee walks inside and picks up mc, leaving

they go back to jaehee’s apartment and she wraps mc in a blanket with hot chocolate 

“mc, love that person did not deserve you. and no one can keep you from doing whatever you like, okay? i’ll make sure of that now”

jumin

mc’s date mate showed up to the party

mc was talking to jumin while they walked up and pulled mc’s face over to kiss them

jumin found that both odd and unneeded, but he didn’t understand couples

he also found himself a bit…jealous? except he wouldn’t kiss mc that roughly in public..

so it was already off to a bad start 

things got really bad, however, when mc’s date mate decided to interrupt an rfa meeting at jumin’s penthouse

they made a ruckus. the guards were having trouble because it seemed like they were throwing a temper tantrum

mc stayed quiet when the others asked if they wanted their date mate to come in, so jumin decided to check it out

when he found mc’s date mate with his guards, they were drunk. it wasn’t even one in the afternoon. 

“you fuckers give mc back to me right now.” they said. “do you need them for something important?” he asked. “yeah, I need some sugar. now.” 

jumin han is…disgusted. and could only imagine how mc felt. 

“we’re in the middle of an important meeting. if you could wait for-” they cut him off. “i don’t wait! i’ll have mc whenever I damn well want mc.” 

and now, jumin han has a little brain click and he is angry

“hm. well, you can’t have mc at all anymore.” he tells the guards to take them outside, as well as one or two other things

but, of course, this drunk asshole decides to punch jumin first 

oh, now it’s only fair. jumin punches them back, and they are out. thanks alcohol

the guards are surprised, but he tells them he’s fine and to do what they’re told

he comes back into the meeting room, everyone but mc really surprised

*clears throat* “i’m afraid i ran into mc’s ex..but they’re taken care of”

707 / luciel / saeyoung

oh, this one knew about mc’s relationship alright

and he knew that their choice in significant others wasn’t the best 

he also knew that they needed to get out of that relationship asap 

but how to tell them that discretely?

turns out, he didn’t need to. 

he got a call from mc, which he answered right away 

“seven? can you give me a ride?…and stay on the phone with me?” “of course”

he put it on speaker, hopped into one of his babe cars, and started driving over to mc 

he heard their argument over the phone

“you’re not leaving, mc.” “yes I am! I’m done with you cheating on me! i’m done with you acting like you’re sorry about it and then doing it again!” 

saeyoung was proud of them for that

“but, babe…you know i love you, i couldn’t live without you. i’m nothing without you.”  mc made a sound, one that sounded like they were believing that

“that’s bullshit, mc. and you know that. i’m almost there.” he said 

“don’t listen to that stupid redhead, mc. i’m in love with you…you’ve helped me with so much..i’m getting better, love”

saeyoung was two minutes away. “i…seven, hurry” 

he pushed the gas harder. “be walking outside.” 

he could tell mc was doing what he said, they were moving. “let go of me!” they yelled, presumably because that ass was holding them back.

seven pulled up, got out of the car, and took mc’s bag, using it to hit their arm off of mc. “watch your back, okay?” was all he said before taking mc with him

when they drove off, saeyoung took mc’s hand again. “thank you for calling me..” they sighed, wiping a tear away. “i knew you could take care of me..”

[feverdreamsuggestion]

do you have any advice for me? i dont have anyone else to ask. please. i can't do my schoolwork. nothing i do works. i can even lock myself out of my phone but,,, i just stare at the assigment. its due tomorrow. i cant think i cant do this i cant i cant im only done with six of the questions. there is seventeen questions in all. ive got 500 words. im so tired and i really feel like school is going to make me kill myself

idk abt you but usually what i do if im stuck on writing-based homework is i’ll start kind of speaking the answers out?? i find i usually get stuck in either a) not knowing how to answer or b) not knowing how to get the words out. sometimes finding a more organic way of answering (talking out the answer, or writing it like a stream of thought then tidying it up) helps me. i also try to get into a character/role other than myself which sometimes changes my mindset enough that i can get something written down

ill be honest i kinda bullshitted my way through the majority of high school by just writing long and seemingly insightful sentences. i honestly thought (and sometimes still think tbh) school would be the death of me, but i feel like its the kind of thing where you have to fake it til you make it. a lot of my coping with school is just distancing myself from the reality of the situation bc my shitty brain has decided im a Very Functional Human only in fiction.

i think the worst thing to do w homework block is thinking too hard about it?? thats why i resort to treating it like a qna or focusing more on being “in character” than on the work at hand. when its out of focus its easier to manage bc im not expending all my energy on focus on this thing and do the smart it’s more of like. a side note i guess?

tbh if all else fails and you cant manage to get much of anything out, just write something and hope for the best. school is important but its not going to be the death of you if you fuck something up. you’ll be okay anon i believe in u 👌

edit: also please don’t kill yourself over school, it’s absolutely not worth it bc school is highkey rigged and a flawed system and you don’t deserve to lose yourself to something so dysfunctional

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: hey Janis: how you settling back in? Grace: ugh Grace: no weirder than its gotta be for you tho Janis: 😕 bummer Janis: lack of sunshine too real a metaphor Janis: well Grace: OMG SPILL Janis: Cass text and the situation sounded dire enough that I had to just talk to him Janis: and thank fuck, it didn't blow up in my face Grace: Love it Grace: not the dire situ obvs but like Grace: 💘💘 Janis: Yeah Janis: I think it's gonna be alright Grace: Yay!! Grace: I called it but still buzzing to hear it from you babes Janis: You wanna claim to know things now? Janis: let you have it 😜 Grace: excuse you bitch I do know things Grace: but it's not hard when you and barista boy are so obvs Janis: 🔮 Janis: obvs enough you spotted him? Janis: keep it on the DL Grace: Duh Grace: 😂 Janis: 😂 Awh Janis: poor baby Grace: I don't have to feel bad for either of you any more so Janis: Shame Janis: getting used to the perks Grace: cope with it bitch im not bringing you food just cos Grace: it's your turn tbh Janis: are you that 💔 forreal Grace: not about to ✂ levels of hard honey Grace: but idk Janis: thank god, don't you dare piggyback on my depression era bob, bitch Janis: no twinning Janis: you'll get into your groove with the whole LDR vibe Grace: eww never call it that again Grace: and no thanks there's no way I could pull off the cut Grace: how soon can I call him? its a lot Janis: whatever i call it, it is what it is, babe Janis: he'll be happy to hear from you already Janis: don't stress it Janis: pretend you're practicing your Spanish if you wanna play it 😎 Grace: we both know my spanish is A++ and so does he Janis: don't need to know how you've proved it thanks Grace: cos you know Grace: omg how did I get myself into this Grace: rom coms dont get made on any of this cos its too cringe Janis: stop 😷 Janis: let your 😍 get the better of you Janis: can't fight it now Janis: step off my bit, like Grace: thanks babes Grace: guess we've fully switched Grace: you're in with the advice Janis: what can I say Janis: momentary blip and I'm back to being the wise one Grace: rude Grace: I'm about to get top marks in Spanish until we leave school so Janis: you can thank Mateo in your speech if you like Grace: might have lost him by then but i'll always have the skills 🙏 Janis: oh honey Janis: so pessimistic Grace: uh no Grace: the realest Grace: you've been there with past me Grace: it's about time like Janis: he's not like your past beaus though Janis: is he Grace: okay no Grace: I'll chill Grace: I'm just Janis: ? Grace: let's not go there Janis: fine Janis: not like i was just the most vulnerable with you or anything 😏 Grace: you bitch Grace: okay like I'm being dramatic but it's just such a thing Grace: everything that's happened and I'm still like ?? have I changed enough for this Grace: you know what I mean? Janis: that's up to you Janis: 'cos a lot of that shit, wasn't on you Janis: yeah, you weren't perfect but your bullshit came from picking the wrong sort of dudes Janis: and you've already changed that part of the puzzle so Grace: Maybe you are the wise one Grace: I wanna be good enough for him cos this whole ldr vibe won't be easy Grace: Gotta be worthwhile if he's putting way much effort in Janis: No maybe about it baby Janis: you'll be putting in as much Janis: that's all you need to do Grace: Is it? Janis: 'course Janis: he liked you Janis: you've done the hard graft on that one Grace: okay Janis: Trust Grace: weird idea but yeah Grace: 🤞 Janis: charming Grace: 😂 Grace: It's tea and it's lukewarm at best Janis: how many of the spanish lads did mia run through Janis: bet pablo won Grace: ewww Grace: so gross and so real Janis: got so cultured Grace: the levels of cringe when the only souvenirs they bring back are love bites and pee tests Janis: I mean Janis: beats a keyring Janis: but wasn't really vibing Grace: I'd take a keyring over Mia Janis: Ooosh Grace: She's way harder to lose Janis: Savage but fair Janis: I know it Janis: suffered that for long enough Grace: #twining Grace: cos me too Grace: At least it's a good thing when barista boy Grace: love that he's highkey Janis: worked in my favour so Janis: not gonna disagree Grace: you two kill me omg Janis: shut up Grace: 🤐 Janis: it is good tho Grace: im happy for you babes Grace: even if im 😡 too cos im alone af Janis: soz you can't join in Janis: but i owe you several pity dates so, call 'em in when you're really feeling it Grace: yay Grace: im 100% planning to annoy your bf at work now hes not 💔 Janis: i'll warn him Grace: do it so he can work my angles Grace: been a while since he got his camera out for me Janis: 😑 if I didn't know that wasn't innuendo Janis: could pretend I don't and smack you down Grace: 😂 Grace: Chill I got a boy of my own to keep interested Janis: 👀 on you bitch Grace: 💅 Janis: 🔨 Grace: 🙄 Janis: anyway the real question Janis: do i milk the perks of being 💔 with the fam or do i come clean to get them the fuck out my face Grace: not even a q Grace: you'll crack and tell them Grace: dad's too highkey about eating feelings Janis: yeah Janis: already getting content fat Janis: can't also pile on the sad fat Janis: nightmare Grace: OMG shut up Grace: I'll smack you Grace: so unfair Janis: 🤷 Grace: such a bitch Janis: whatever Janis: like you're a whale Grace: next to you like Janis: you're mad Janis: its different body types Janis: you're more like rio Janis: and edie Janis: me and billie are more twiggy, thanks dad 🙄 Grace: ugh Grace: please im nothing like Rio Grace: Or Edie Janis joined the chat 84 minutes ago Janis: Yeah Janis: not in the bad ways, don't worry Grace: 🙄🙄 in any ways tbh Janis: who you like then Janis: or you think you ❄ Grace: more like 🦆 Grace: but anyway Janis: bitch please you know how that one goes Janis: swan the whole time Grace: bitch that's a kid's story Grace: not living it Janis: may as well Janis: living with old mother hubbard, like Grace: 😂 Janis: can't be normal with this narrative Janis: sadly Grace: ugh real Janis: but fuck normal right Grace: 👏 Grace: If Mia's it then yeah Janis: we all know normal is code for basic so, yeah Janis: we might be fucked but at least we ain't that Grace: Thank god Grace: nicest thing you've ever said to me too Grace: doubly blessed here Janis: don't get too used to it Janis: still me, like Grace: Do I need to warn Jimmy? Janis: Nah Janis: but he ain't you Janis: no offense 😘 Grace: we all know Grace: we see your 😍 Janis: duh Janis: you been there too Grace: did you tell him? Janis: that you fancied him? Janis: we been knew Grace: GURL PLEASE Grace: that you love him Janis: oh Janis: ha Janis: maybe Janis: if i only just managed to say it to him, what makes you think imma shout it to you bitch 😜 Grace: OMG HAVE I NOT SUFFERED FOR THIS Grace: 😂 Janis: I know, you love the fairytale ending Janis: to be continued, babe Grace: Rude Grace: Gonna have to watch Netflix if you won't let me binge on your drama Janis: netflix and chill ur man Janis: dirty hoe Grace: excuse you Grace: that is a good idea tho Janis: i know Janis: only an hour ahead, thank fuck the school didn't shell out for a more exotic exchange Grace: ikr? id die Grace: i like you boy but i like sleeping too so Janis: 😂 Grace: you ever coming home or you just living over there with him now? Janis: solid plan Janis: though diego and Iggy would get pissy if I stole their respective studios Grace: I'd take them being mad over his dad cos that's option 2 Grace: and he's such a Janis: bellend Janis: gonna be fuming i'm back Grace: oh god Grace: least youve got your fans in his brother and sister Grace: and that dog like Janis: sure you're still bobs number 1 Janis: won't tell him YOU'VE moved on tho Grace: oh no what a homewrecker move of me Grace: he's soooo sweet Grace: that's why I brought him back some Spanish 🍬 Janis: that'll soften the blow Janis: be his sweet bitch and you can sow your wild oats Grace: 😂 Grace: boys are so easy Grace: you can take them for me if you don't take the credit bitch Janis: no promises Janis: i'm getting back in good books here Grace: 👌 I'll deliver them myself Grace: 👀 on you Janis: you can when you're forcing headshot duties on jim Grace: true Janis: s'alright, I ain't down for being 'muse' 'til this shit grows out Grace: BUT IT'S CUTE Janis: 👖🔥 Grace: not even Grace: I like it Janis: I'll make it work Janis: like you always say Janis: hardly fashion forward am i Grace: you're obvs making that work too babes Janis: sure Janis: butch dyke chic Grace: shhhh Grace: so not Janis: have to get billie to take notes Grace: good luck getting her to do anything Janis: True Janis: how long can a baby be an excuse Janis: no shade Grace: like 2 years at most Grace: but in this fam 2 seconds Grace: gotta have and do it all Janis: she's outta time then Janis: do 👏 some 👏 work 👏 bitch Grace: Big mood Janis: cue her angry model rant Janis: it's a real job, okay 😜 Grace: I'm so mad about it Grace: never once been spotted in town so unfair Janis: gutted Janis: could be a creepy fam sitch Janis: wannabe kardashians, know you'd love it Grace: obvs Janis: 😂 are you sure Janis: what if you're the khloe tho Grace: that's so mean omg Grace: but i'd still take it Janis: don't do yourself like that hun, none of us need to take that bullet Grace: easy for you to say Kim Grace: Don't tell Rio that's you like she'd go off Janis: 😂😂 she got the tapes Grace: omg yeah didn't think of that Grace: take back your kim status Grace: i'm obvs kylie anyway her taste in lads like Janis: mhmm, and the egomaniac mans #sozkanye #sozbuster #but Janis: i'll be your kendall then Janis: nothing like the rest and seems uninterested in their shit half the time Grace: 😂 Grace: shamelessly the prettiest Grace: 👀 you Janis: 😏 Janis: billie can be kourtney 'cos remember when kim told her she was boring to look at Janis: savage Grace: iconic Janis: then no one has to be khloe, sorted Janis: though her kid is cute Grace: 😍😍😍 ikr Grace: so many of them are Grace: unfair Janis: we all know why Janis: #goblack Janis: Ma did it better Grace: Gonna tell Jimmy he's dumped already like? Grace: Cold Janis: 😂 not being that bitch Janis: if I ever say I'm having kids, you need to assess a lot more than that Janis: like hell no Grace: believe it when I don't see it Grace: you were saying you weren't 💘 once upon a time Janis: I wanna have a life tho tah Grace: if anyone's proved you can it's everyone in this fam Grace: girl please that's not an excuse Janis: not saying it is, just a reason to keep on the pill, like Janis: i'm hardly Ma Grace: 😂 Janis: imagine Janis: poor fuckers Grace: let's not cos i agree with you and thats weird enough Janis: i can fight you if you like Janis: always a pleasure Grace: the ✂ taken the fun out of it Grace: love a dramatic hair pull moment Janis: oh, there's still enough to pull 😏 Grace: TMI Janis: 😂 Grace: if you were talking about his I'd be listening though Grace: he may be white but hes still cute Janis: square up Grace: girl no Grace: not trying to ruin my nails for anyone thank you Janis: shoulda thought about that Grace: think on your possessiveness hun Janis: no bitch Janis: he's mine Janis: end of story Grace: 💍 Janis: 🖕 Grace: 💋

[survivorpacificislandallstars]

Ep. 17 - “Everyone here are messy hoes” - Steffen

Honestly why the FUCK are people so far up Jordan's ass. Like even sam g before she was blindsided by the devil himself was like "I think I'm just going to vote out Andrew so that I'll stay on his good side" Like what. I am....Omg. Sara is not winning this game bc she literally hasn't done shit but whatever Jordan tells her. David is fake for making me feel like shit last round when I didn't tell him about a plan that we executed 4 minutes AFTER votes were due. Andrew is my ride or die in this game. Andrew. Wow. I don't know what to do with drew. He was drunk for all the decisions made tonight so anything he said, I really don't know if he will mean those things in the morning. I trust steffen and I guess I have to from now on. Us 3 and maybe drew against Jordan's army. I mean I would rather get voted out than work with (basically for) Jordan so that's fine with me.

This last vote??? Was HELL for me! Of course I knew Sam was going from the start, but as much as I wanted to save her, all of my options were bad. This wasn't like the double tribal vote where I had all the information to flip the vote off of Steffen and onto Ash. The discussion started with David Robb and Jordan, and by the time the target was chosen, there were already five votes on Sam in a nine-vote tribal. The only way to save her was with my idol, which I'm sorry, is mine. It would have also exposed everything. I could have either gotten Jordan's idol or Jordan himself out of the game, but that sacrifices my power position and puts me at the mercy of the Sams, Andrew, and Steffen, who very well may have and may still want to work with me, but would have seen me as the biggest threat once Jordan was gone. Once again in an org, I'm left with the disgusting position of using him as my meat shield and getting the stink of that alliance all over me to the point where no one wants to talk to me because they're afraid it'll get back to Jordan. If only they knew how little I've been telling him the entire time, maybe I could get a little more out of them. Sam knew but she's gone now because I didn't save her, and that sucks, but it's just another person I have to avenge to get through the game. So very obviously, Jordan is winning immunity this round. A trivia competition based on Pacific Islands was fucking made for him, I'd be shocked, horrified, and a little concerned if someone were able to beat him other than Billy, or Monty himself. Jordan's plan is to send Sara to exile, have me use my idol, and then vote the two of us and David on someone, and if they vote for me, I'm safe, and if they vote for David, we force the revote because both of us are immune and David is safe a la Spencer Bledsoe's "Tasha's not going" moment. It's a cute plan. Puts all the ducks in a row. Just one little thing I'd like to bring up. When the FUCK did MY idol become something for YOU to strategize with? This is not some communal shit, like a grab bag of power. I didn't see my vote getting doubled with either of your pearls. I haven't seen any idols played on anyone other than yourself. This is not some "What's mine is mine but what's yours is OURS" bullshit. So what I would LIKE to do would be to team up with Steffen, Andrew, and Sam B for the vote and get David Robb out. I have a power move for it in mind that's gonna take a lot to pull off because there are a lot of moving pieces. I would like to work with all three of them for this vote but I need to make sure they don't get it in their heads to 3-2-1 me out. I'm already opening up conversation with Sam and Andrew before anything else happens with the immunity comp, and Steffen and I have talked semi-regularly, so ideally they'll include me in their plans to target David, instead of me coming to them. I think I'll leak the entire plan to them, tell them everything Jordan wants, ESPECIALLY the part about me playing my idol, so it doesn't even get into their heads that I'm on the menu as a voting option. Then on the revote, if it goes down the way I hope it will, I flip and vote out David. Because I'm not playing for 4th on Jordan's team, and I'm not playing to be the first person Steffen's team targets if Jordan wins another immunity after this. And I'm sure as FUCK not playing to have my possessions be communal property. There will have to be a long conversation with Jordan about all this after the fact, about how everything can still work, me him and Sara to the end, we still have two idols, we can work with this, I'm sorry I just felt like I was being left completely out of the loop on this last vote, the target happened in PMs with David, the decision to play both pearls happened without me, and unnecessarily, I felt like I wasn't being heard and I wasn't going to be replaced. Which is highkey true, like that has been a genuine fear the last day and a half or so, but it's secondary to the main stance. No one. No one. Decides how my idol is being played except me. Thanks. From Jordan's perspective, this can still work, we still have our three players with two idols between us, David had to go eventually, why not tonight. From Steffen's perspective, I took out someone on Jordan's team and there's a chance for a light at the end of the tunnel now, in some way. My juggling act is going to implode on me sooner rather than later and I'm going to have to pick up the pieces. But hopefully that time is not tonight.

So basically last vote, Sam B didnt do what i  wanted and that caused me to go with the devil Jordan Pines, but thats okay, im going to try and vote out Andrew tonight but literally things are so topsy turby anyone can go its all up to the survivor gods

I don't know who I can trust in this game. But I know for sure it is not Jordan Pines. Therefore I can't trust anyone associated with him either. That includes David and Drew. Both of them are claiming that the other one is closer to Jordan when it all honesty, I think that is such a tight trio, there is nothing I could do to stop it. I'm just so tired of Jordan controlling this game. With his fucking idols and powers and omg do not even get me started on this immunity challenge. Trivia with someone who was on 5/7 of the seasons being quizzed. That's the most rigged thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Especially this late in the game AND with the answers not being found on the wikia. I'm so pissed about it. I will probably be going home tonight. I would rather go home through staying true to myself, than to flip on one of my allies to stay on Jordan's good side. I learned from the Sam g blindside: being on his good side doesnt mean shit. If he gets to the end, there is no way I am voting for him. And whoever does vote for him, 100% cancelled. He is just. Ugh I don't want to be mean so I'll move on. So I am voting for David  tonight along with andrew and hopefully steffen. I think itll tie and then on the revote go to rocks, which is scary. But if its me that Jordan's side is voting for, I should be safe. That would make it rocks between andrew and steffen, which would be so hard to watch. But I don't think I have any other options. I got into an argument with Drew just a few minutes ago so if he votes for me, I would get that. I just would rather stand up for myself and play my own game, than to let jordan fucking pines control me. And to everyone wanting to work with him (for him): Fuck you.

idk why the whole fucking world and their dogs wanna work with Jordan

It was supposed to be me tonight. Idk it still might be. But I brought up the idea of breaking up Sam B and Steffen. And I guess Jordan wants that. Sam B says to not give Jordan what he wants. And I'm not. I'm doing what I want. I want that duo split. I want to advance without fucking up game relationships. I'm sorry Sam. I love you so much. But this is my game.

Dear Diary, Everyone here are messy hoes, Im over it and them and Jordan can go make out with the abominable snowman for all I care. Like first I have to hear Jordan is threatening Sam B, Sam G was voted out, and now Jordan wins immunity, saves sara and now everything has gone to crap, Drew can’t be trusted worth beans and David is a messy bitch and Jordan well, indifferent towards him at this point, so now Im on call with a crying Sam and I could give 2 shits about anyone left in this game, Im on fits end for who I vote for cause literally this group of people are disgusting except Sam B and Andrew, Also shout out to Sam G, a true hunt