#im just frustrated because this isn't even the difficult part

[watery-melon-baller]

its so fun :)) and awesome :)) that i cannot fucking make my brain focus on my homework :))) holy shit im gonna kill someone :)) why can't my brain just work for five fucking minutes :)) this is easy homework too I just can't concentrate on it at all :)) and it's due tomorrow morning :)))

[haggstroem]

finished rain world . i need to throw something against a wall

[strawberrystepmom]

NSFW - MDNI. cw: dacryphilia. self ship coded. gojo x f!reader. reader is a crier (couldn't be me....*looks away from camera insecurely*) gojo loves a crier he's sadist this isn't a new agenda but im still pushing it... | divider by cafekitsune, wc 1.3k

“And you know what he said to me? ‘You need to try harder.’ He actually told me, to my face, that I need to do more.”

Whatever was discussed today has clearly upset her, Satoru thinks to himself while laying on his back next to you on the floor of your bedroom, his hands folded beneath his head. Any criticism of you is rare and depending on how harsh it is, you react poorly. This is something he has learned many times over, coming to see you more than once to find you pouting about being less than perfection in someone else’s eyes thanks to the high standards you hold yourself to. 

If he’s honest though, his mind is barely focused on the comforting part of his “sometimes boyfriend” duties. He’s more interested in how you look right now, his head turned to see your chest heave with little petulant sobs and your palms pressed against your warm cheeks. The physical manifestations of your frustration look like glitter trailing down your face in the evening light, leaving the tips of your fingers glistening and wet while you wipe them away. Without thinking, he reaches across your body and moves your hands, wiping away what you couldn’t get with his thumb.

“I could trap him in the void if that would make you feel better?”

A giggle followed by another sob bubbles out of you and Gojo feels pinned to the ground, the weight of his own desire for you in this vulnerable state borderline frustrating. Seeing your girlfriend cry and sob and whine should not make you hard yet here he is, tip of his dick begging to press against the seam of his sweatpants. 

“No, it’s okay. I’m just being a baby.”

You are, but you’re his baby and he will not stand for you crying over someone or something else. He’ll just have to give you something to cry about instead, unable to hold back any longer, simmering desire turning into something bubbling over.

“Hey, look at me”

Rolling from his back onto all fours, his knees touch the carpeted floor and his palms are planted on either side of your head, framing your pretty face from his perspective. A shimmering tear trails over your cheek that leaves a wet trail behind it, your skin damp and dewy. The tip of your nose shines, your eyes are red rimmed, but Satoru finds it irresistible and always has. The reasons why aren’t a mystery to him, given how badly he wants you regularly but the blood rushes from his cheeks downward to his cock more quickly than he anticipated when he’s faced with you like this - needy and ripe for his picking. He’s half-hard thanks to nothing but the sight of your teary eyes. What an effect to have on someone who could bring the world to its knees if he were to wake up one morning and choose to do so.

“You look so good like this,” he croons and you squirm beneath him, a poor attempt to free yourself from the weight of his gaze. There’s nowhere for you to run or hide. You can’t play off his desire as a show when it’s just the two of you and he moves his knee to wedge it between your barely parted thighs. 

Your palms press against his chest, legs kicking out pathetically around him. All it takes is a bend of his elbows and your chests are practically pressed together. Is it difficult to breathe because he’s so close or because you want him so badly? The tips of your noses touch and he dips his face, making you pucker in anticipation of his lips coming to claim a kiss from yours. 

“Satoru,” you whine, mouth still half puckered in preparation for a kiss that doesn’t appear to be coming. “What are you doing?”

This draws a laugh from him, his tongue darting out of his mouth to brush against your cheek and the side of your mouth. The tear that left at trail is gone, a salty taste across his tongue, his mind associating that taste with nothing but you. His cock jumps in response.

“It’s always Satoru this, Satoru that, ohhhhh Satoru!” He mocks you lightheartedly, tone jumping into something nasally in his best impression of your higher pitched voice, the one he hears when his fingers are pressing deep inside of you. “Can’t I make you feel better like this too?”

Another tear falls from your eyes, following the same path as the one before it, settling in the cradle of your lips. Gojo leans down and kisses you on the mouth, tongue pressing against the seam of your lips to soak up every bit of the tear that remains. Your saliva mixes with his, your tears, the viscosities mixing into something more erotic than you could have imagined. Thin and sticky, just like the nectar that seeps from your cunt and drenches the cotton gusset of your panties that is wedged between your folds while you kiss him.

“Just let me…” he breathes between your lips, tongue slipping against yours. Even his voice is higher than usual, laced with desire and need you do not understand and are not about to question. “Let me do this.”

You hope he realizes that you aren’t “letting” him do anything, mind spinning in dizzying circles with every tear that runs down your cheek and hits your lips that he’s quick to take for himself. This is just as enjoyable for you as it is for him, one of his hands moving from the side of your head downward to your hip, playing with the waistband of your shorts. Your hips cant upward and he smiles against your mouth, your neediness more obvious than ever while reaching to grasp the back of his neck and hold him against you. He stops you, the palm on your hip pressing your ass back down to the ground. 

“Have any more for me?” Satoru’s chest heaves when he asks, breath leaving him in warm puffs that live and die against your mouth. “You’re so pretty when you cry, baby, can you blame me?”

His tongue darts out again and he licks up anything that may have been neglected in his haste, the muscle running over the seam of your lips and the plushness of both lower and top. A moan, wet and breathy, leaves you and another round of fresh tears follow the path of the others before them. You want to argue with him, well aware of how you look with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, but your pussy aches and clit throbs in response to him. The words you want to say wouldn’t make themselves appear even if you tried harder to find them than you are now.

“Come on baby, gimme some more.” His encouragement makes you sniffle and his hand sinks below the waistband of your shorts and panties, fingertips trailing downward until they press against the sticky cleft of your pussy. “Just a little more and then I’ll make it better, okay?”

Nodding, you glance up at him and the shine of unshed tears makes him growl low in his throat. His fingers spread your folds open beneath your clothing and wetness soaks his fingers, tongue searching your face for wetness that can match what he is feeling right now. The mix of tears and saliva and your arousal are too much and he cannot wait any longer, pressing his knee against your clothed mound.

“Don’t stop crying for me,” he begs and you nod again, acquiescing to all of his requests as usual. You grind into the hardness of his knee and he chuckles, glad he followed his instincts to keep you here and like this, the kind of girl who will gladly cry and grind against a thigh if it means she feels better. 

“I’ll make you feel better,” he assures with a chant against your lips, words interrupted with the sounds of how insatiable for one another the two of you are, smacking and sliding and pants and moans. 

As if you don’t already.

[blueskittlesart]

I’ve been playing oot lot and I’ve been really enjoying it loads, weird question but I’ve had the thought- Is Gabon’s castle hard? Like I’m only on the spirit temple and then I thought and got stressed/anxious about the final dungeon/final part of the game, I think I might be psyching myself out mainly because I feel like I’m bad at games especially oot and the switch controls can be frustrating plus I panic when there’s a timer and or when im in a lotta pressure. I’ve tried googling it but I don’t know

the dungeon itself isn't super difficult imo, it's basically 6 different rooms mimicking the 6 late-game dungeons, each with a small puzzle which will get you closer to entering the final battle. there are a few ways to make things easier on yourself--do the shadow room early and get the golden gauntlets, and then you can lift up one of the pillars in the final area to get an ability that reduces the damage you take. that makes the final battle WAAAAY way way way easier. you should also practice camera-clipping with no target a little bit before going into ganon's castle, because he becomes untargetable for one phase of the final battle, which can be a really steep learning curve since most of the other battles in the game encourage you to rely on targeting so heavily. if you get a feel for where exactly the camera will clip to when there's nothing to target, that phase will become a lot easier. You're also gonna want to get a good amount of heart containers before battle--it's not IMPOSSIBLE to do with just the base hearts you get from the dungeons, but having a few extras will help you out. and obv you're gonna want a few fairies lined up just in case. there is also a minor timed segment just before the final phase of battle, but if you lose it just puts you back at the start of that segment, not the whole battle, so try not to freak out about it too hard. It's not the easiest boss battle in the franchise by any means, but i don't think it's extremely difficult either. remember that there's no penalty if you have to try it multiple times, and even though i know it's tempting, try not to save between stages within the final battle, because that can lock you into a difficult situation if you're low on hearts or items. as a general rule, if you're trapped into an enclosed space, don't save even if the game lets you. your save should be at a place where you can retreat and make further preparations if you need to. but you'll probably be fine!! you got this :)

[bcolfanfic]

Ahh id love to hear some hcs about the time when theyre trying to get bucky help/make him realise he needs to try and get help (even if that too turns to be difficult when they hit a wall at the VAs office)

poor sweet bub </3

in my head- it takes a minute after they get home for things to really get as bad as they do. when he first goes back to wyoming with gale and they get their marriage license the minute they're back (they say they'll have an Actual Wedding later, they just want it on paper asap), even though his mind is racing, he's kinda in lalaland just happy to be out of the war. and with gale and starting their life together.

then when the "newness" does start to wear off, he's antsy to really tell gale that he's struggling because he's scared of popping his bubble and "ruining everything". '

so he doesn't say anything- and just kinda starts spiraling into depression. sleeping more, crying in the shower, feeling really Out Of It when he is awake etc etc.

gale notices something is off right away, but bucky wont talk to him so it doesn't really get very far- until one of the nights bucky gets out of bed in the middle of the night and gale finds him just sitting in the living room crying into his hands </3

sits with him and bucky just kinda blubbers about everything and about how out of whack he's felt and how guiltily he feels over it. this is elaborated on more in the fic im working on- but to begin with gale encourages bucky to talk to the va, and it's him doing that advocating for himself at first, or at least trying to. there's a little movement, he gets an initial appointment and talks to someone but then in the attempting to have consistent, ongoing assistance is when things start to go sideways,

and after one call with them where he gets especially frustrated and really freaks out gale decides to take over trying to handle the va for him.

he has "episodes" kinda similar to the whole baseball thing- and mostly at night. in a way gale almost trains himself to sense when he's awake and not in bed anymore, and it really freaks him out the few times bucky ends up going outside at night. he only ever goes out into their backyard, and gale always manages to get him inside and back to bed safely, even if it takes a bit.

but a part of his increasing frustration with trying to get him help is that he's terrified that one night he isn't just going to be in the yard, or he's not going to wake up/realize he's gone and bucky's going to get hurt. and he knows he wouldn't forgive himself if anything did happen to him.

bucky talks to curt quite a bit when all of this is going on, in that he still feels like he's burdening gale with certain things and curt is "different". especially when a lot of his shit comes from blaming himself for curt getting hurt/his EOD unit not finding the explosive that blew his leg off, in a way it helps to talk to him as much as he can because it drills into his head that curt is alive and doesn't hate him for what happened.

[andhumanslovedstories]

hello this is kind of heavy and no pressure at all to answer. and apologies because im sure you must have answered this before. but do you go through like a pain management flow chart for your patients and if so what are some of the steps? my dad is having some medical issues and i want to be able to help him manage his pain as much as i can. thank you and enjoy wasteland!

I work in a hospital setting so my pain management care plan is part of an interdisciplinary team in that setting. It's relatively easy for me to get, say, IV pain meds for a patient with extreme breakthrough pain. I don't know how well my approach would translate outside of that setting, I'm not palliative care trained, and I don't personally deal with chronic or acute pain (which is why I'm answering this publicly so other people can chime in), but in broad strokes:

First: Define pain. What type of pain is it? Muscle pain? Indigestion? Neuropathy? Surgical site? Stiffness from lack of movement? Is part of the pain also the fear of the pain? Sometimes when pain has been bad for a long time, or even has been bad in a short-term but very notable way, the idea of hurting that bad again is traumatizing. That fear of pain can, unfortunately, make you focus more on the pain you're feeling because now it's not just the physical sensation of pain, it's also the psychological impact of it.

Then, how does the pain affect you? Is it stopping you from sleeping? Is it stopping you from eating? Is it making you short-tempered or depressed? Does it make it difficult to focus on things? Does it make you nauseated? Anxious? Isolated? Do you feel like you need to hide it from those who care about you?

Everything pain is and affects is a place where you can intervene. Some of these interventions will be very small and would, if they were the only intervention, feel completely inadequate. Pain relief is rarely "you do one thing and you're done." You're addressing pain on multiple fronts, and sometimes that doesn't mean your focus isn't just the reduction of pain but the restoration of what pain has taken away. It's possible the worst part of pain for you isn't the pain itself but, for example, the immobility it causes. Are there different ways you can learn to move? Can you get a grabber? Can you get a shower chair? Can you find physical therapy exercises that help you regain strength or stop you from deconditioning to the degree you're able? What mobility aids might restore movement to you?

And if returning mobility is not possible at this time or ever, how can you modify your environment to support you? Can you figure out what bothers you the most about that immobility and mitigate that? If it's annoying that not being able to leave bed makes you bored, what can be within arm's reach? If it's frustrating that being too painful to move means you feel isolated from other people, can you make wherever you are more central? If pain makes having your bed on the second floor unfeasible, can you move your bed to the first floor? How can you adapt the environment around you?

I'd encourage movement too, to the degree it is possible. Being in the same position HURTS. If it feels good to stretch but you can't do it by yourself, can someone help you with range of motion? (You can look up "passive range of motion" to get an idea of how to do that.) This doesn't need to be exercising, just exploring the joy of moving your body. Related to movement is physical touch. I love lotions and medicated creams for pain patients because you can turn them into massages. Just be careful with pressure and be open about what hurts and what feels good. At the most gentle end of the spectrum is something called the M Technique which isn't even massage, it's like guided gentle touch. Give the body something else to feel.

Different medications work better with different types of pain. This part is hard to talk about in general because of the specificity of some pain med regiments. Tylenol is great, but be cautious with how much you are taking (acetaminophen overdoses are no joke) and remember that there's a point where more tylenol doesn't mean more pain relief. Opioids are great, but they can be very dangerous and aren't well-indicated for a lot of types of chronic pain. Even if opioids work best, I'd encourage you to be working on pain reduction on multiple fronts, as opioids are so controlled, it is easy to lose access to them. If opioids give you enough pain relief to do physical therapy, then make sure to do that physical therapy. Medications are amazing and I love them and I give out PRNs like crazy, but similarly to how I can't just take my depression meds and stop being depressed, pain medication works best in conjunction with other strategies. Those other strategies though can literally be something like "tramadol takes away the pain enough I can focus on something, and what I want to do with that focus is to watch a movie I've been meaning to rewatch for a while now but haven't had the spoons for." Sometimes all you will want to do when you get pain meds is sleep because you can't when you're hurting. Sleep is wonderful; how can you arrange your sleeping place and habits to make sleeping even more of a delight?

And if you find a medication that works, use it consistently. It is always easy to keep pain level than it is to address a pain spike. Don't wait until symptoms are at their worst to address them. Figure out what it feels like when your symptoms are ramping up, and intervene early.

Sometimes medications that aren't explicitly for pain can still help. If anxiety makes pain worse, consider an anxiety medication. If coughing hurts, can you get a numbing spray from your throat to make it less sensitive so you cough less?

I don't know how useful this is to you and your family. Hopefully it's at least something to think about. Think about palliative care (which is about the management of symptoms of illnesses rather than the treatment of illnesses) as not just taking away bad sensations but restoring good ones. You can't always get someone to a place with no pain. But what can you do to enhance life in the presence of that pain? There is a psychological aspect to pain, it's a parasite that drains you and makes you feel like you are nothing but a body that hurts and won't stop hurting. I want to make clear, I'm not saying pain is only in your mind. Bone mets and nerve pain exist whether you're cheerful about it or not. But pain doesn't have to mean suffering, it doesn't have to take away the things that make you you. Address pain through medication and therapies, but also remember that protecting, promoting, and prioritizing the parts of yourself that you most value and give you the most joy will help give your life so much substance that pain can't rob it all. You aren't doing one big thing. You are doing a thousand small things that make life easier, better, more suited to yourself and your abilities, and more aligned with the parts of life that you that give your life meaning.

(And a note in particular for being the family member of someone in pain--ultimately, they are going through this alone. It is their body. What can you make smoother for them? How can you protect their dignity and their privacy without making them feel abandoned or alone? How can you make it so your reaction to their pain is not part of their burden? Like for the six hundred other hypothetical questions in this endless post, the answers will be highly personal and will take time to figure out. Be patient and calm.)

[farewellsickle]

a guy will make a self insert specifically to make sure his favorite guy gets the love and care he needs . anyhow

this is Death Sickle, preferably known as Sickle! a ratman human who has been surviving in the Greater Canadian woods for... must have been over a decade by now. don't cringe too hard at his name, he was named by a literal eight year old. nonetheless.

by a stroke of luck and coincidence, he stumbles upon Robert the day after he escaped the Ivory household, and has been his caretaker since. he didnt always have a bandaged up hand; Robert bit him so hard he had to stitch himself up and apply bandages. hopefully this injury doesn't give him issues later...

post-Lucid21, Robert suffers from cognitive issues (memory loss, motor function, thought cloudiness, etc) as a result of losing his connection to the ratmen, and must rely on Sickle to help with communication, healing injuries, food and water. he's slowly gaining lucidity back, but the trauma of Lucid21 still affects him greatly - difficult sleep, fear of the dark and wide / open spaces.

he initially takes an existentialist / nihilist mindset - why bother do anything if there's no point - but quickly changes it when in the presence of another person who isn't a part of him. he isn't sure how to deal with his new life situation. went from fighting for his life just to die - to being waited on and cared for by a stranger. new philosophy: figure out what to do with his newly singular life.

Sickle as a person is very pessimistic and cynical, he can't see optimism or positives. additionally he tends to get frustrated very easily and lash out, but always feels extreme guilt afterwards, usually overcompensating to feel like things are "okay" again. he hasn't seen another conscious / lucid person in years, so mind him if he seems loud crass and overbearing. he can't lose the one friend he's allowed to have.

at first he is annoyed with having to care for Robert. having only ever known a master/pet dynamic, he thinks of Robert as a "pet" he must care for. but he ultimately values Robert's presence, however meager, more than he values his resources. he would put his life on the line to make sure someone knew he existed and died. theme: a loneliness is a fate greater than death.

attached below will just be more art of them :3 i also have a "whiteboard bible" where im writing down everything to do with them because. im obsessed. TW for self harm past the bible area (i allowed my beloved mutuals to draw freely in the same whiteboard)

thank u for reading about my goobers

Robert is NAWT a smoker so it takes him a few to get used to it. despite running low on cigarettes, Sickle insists on teaching him to smoke, if not for the associated "skills" (holding breath, igniting a lighter). Robert still prefers to drink.

i actually think Robert can hold his alcohol moderately well, he only got so drunk in canon because he was on an empty stomach

for a good few weeks, Sickle lacks the appropriate first aid materials to treat Robert's eye injury, having used the last of his bandages to patch up his hand. he uses scraps to place over Robert's eye. he has a small scrap bandage that he tears up for Robert's clean bandages.

after scavenging some clean and sterile medical supplies, Sickle changes Robert's bandages, ensures he finally has somewhat proper clean medical treatment and changes his bandages. "these are supposed to be changed out every day, or you risk infection." Robert's attention is drawn to Sickle's bandaged hand. he never saw them get changed even once.

[cartoonrival]

HEY YOU Hit me with some Julie Su propoganda cuz I'm mostly lukewarm on her character and don't know all that much about her.

OK OK ... well baseline info she's the daughter of dark legion general luger, and half sister of lien-da and kragok, who are twins and both high ranking legion soldiers. when their mother (merin-da) died and luger remarried, ld and kragok hated his new wife (julie-su's mother) (mari-su) so bad they orchestrated her death, info which was they kept on the DL for a long time until js eventually found out about it. memory situation, js is raised by other folks who actually love her and doesn't learn who her blood family is until later. she joins knuckles because she feels inexplicably drawn to him (soul touch) (echidna soulmates) so she defects from the legion to join the chaotix. the soul touch thing sucks and i hate it but this is how it goes. ill talk about my au version of her at the end lol bc things ive built on top of canon are part of the reason why shes one of my fave charas in the series lul

ANYWHO i honestly find it pretty frustrating when people talk about js as just being pink knuckles, shoehorned into the story to give knuckles an obligatory girlfriend, because it really demonstrates that they like. weren't paying a lick of attention to anything because she genuinely has a LOT of personality but since people just go in anticipating anything penders touched to suck they don't even bother to think about her for longer than half a second.

js fills a niche that, imo, could always use filling, especially with regards to girl characters, which is to say shes a well meaning asshole. shes incredibly blunt, she's pessimistic (immediately assumes knuckles must be dead when enerjak returns and they cant find him, tells knuckles not to search a fallen ship that his mother was on because shes probably dead and she doesnt think he'd want to see that). shes terrible at handling interpersonal conflict (knuckles confesses to her that he feels guilty and stressed over all the pressure put on him as guardian and she scolds him and says "this isn't just about you", which results in a minor shouting match when she really had zero intention of starting an argument), she's almost constantly beefing with vector (tbf its because hes sexist he refuses to see past her history as a member of the dark legion). these might suond like cons but i love characters like this LOL and they fit especially well in archie where people love to get mad at each other and make dumb mistakes and it just feels very genuine and interesting and endearing to me. shes rough and difficult but she's also DEEPLY loyal. she'd die for knuckles and the chaotix and the way she interacts with them always makes me soooo ........ im just gonna give some examples i can find.

(knuckles is on the phone with her)

^ this was the genuine conclusion of an argument they had and im obsessed with it because both of them suck with emotions so they both give the worlds strangest apology and know that the other means it and they move on. plus putting her arm in front of SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG while theyre confronting eggman even after watching him CHAOS BLAST, primarily because she feels like this is more her fight than his (its about knuckles).

theres def more and i could find them if i was more on top of archie but unfortunately im #narutopilled rn. BUT ANYWAYS. shes just a very fun character with a messy personality and fun interactions and she loves her buddies sm even tho she bickers with them. shes just very special. she fits well with knuckles in a way that makes their relationship actually feel plausible instead of just forcing him to have a girlfriend (tho ofc the writing is fumbled sometimes like. ITS ARCHIE. bffr. but thats the case with literally everything ever in archie so you take what you can and its amazing). also see below. BASED AS FUCKKKKKKK

and ill discuss my au briefly bc u r asking me my opinion on js and that does play a large role in how i feel abt her, but rly im just expanding on elements of her story that werent discussed as fully as i wouldve liked. her relationship with lien-da is obviously BAD in canon, but theres not a lot of time spent lingering on precisely how lien-da and kragok feel about julie-su as the product of their fathers second marriage to a woman they KILLED because they hated her so much. ive also given her much more internal strife over turning away from the legion, originally joining the chaotix planning to betray them from the inside then being slowly convinced to join them for real after realizing how much she'd been brainwashed by the legion and what its like to have people who truly love and care about you. her story as someone who is trying to find herself outside of her history as a child soldier is something that TOTALLY deserves to be expanded on and its a bit sad that it wasnt explored. but i mean really im not changing her actual PERSONALITY at all because as i discussed shes oozing with it.... im honestly never going to make the full comic i wanted to so at some point im just going to compile all the lore and concept art and stuff into one big post to share. but thats like a spoiler free taste.

she also has a gun. which is fucking awesome because not enough sonic characters have guns. people make shadow the guy with a gun but he hasnt been seen with one since shth. hello....

[ohbo-ohno]

"it just completely fucks him up because now everything he is doing is wrong and he's getting into trouble for it and he hates the bell on his collar and the cat bed is too soft and none of the toys are right" just. Fucked me up.

Johnny absolutely bawling his eyes out because he absolutely adores the subspace mindset petplay grants him when he gets to be a puppy for Simon and he sososososo looks forward to it and loves getting his chew toys and digging his molars into stuff and getting to rough house and everything that comes along with it and suddenly he has that taken away from him??? Even though he craved it so badly???? And he's expected to do stuff that doesn't come naturally to him and he doesn't like it and he can't do it right and he's being bad even though he can't help it because he's being asked stuff that's so unfair?????? He's so upset and so frustrated and he hates it and hates Simon and hates the fucking bell on his collar and not getting to gnaw at his chewy squeaky rubber bone and Simon taking away his tugging rope and having to meow and being slapped when he whines because "kittens down whine". He knows that!!!!!!!!!!! It's because he's not a kitten he's a puppy!!!!!!!!!!

here's the ask anon is talking about. btw i want this ask engraved on my brain

ok RIGHT!!!! it's suuuuuch a good idea. i think im gonna go with a different one to hit all three of that day's prompts but it's such an evil and perfect idea for mean ghost and needy soap.

being a puppy is so easy for soap!!! he just has to listen and be good, his natural energy levels keep him perfectly in that puppy headspace that makes his behavior dog-like. he hardly changes much, it's really the gear that puts him in the right headspace, not the behavior.

and he loves being a puppy. loves his cage (a little soft space to force him right where simon wants), loves his toys (bright rubber and hard plastic, the perfect dental stims that keep him just stimulated enough to not fully slip away into subspace), the tricks simon makes him preform (so humiliating in a way that always gets him hard, and he loves making ghost proud), getting to play rough and wag his tail and pant like a dog and gets his muzzle and his ears and his leash, oh he loves his leash, and-

but being a kitten? laying still and quiet? purring??????? licking over his body, only being able to give simon tiny little licks that don't even give him a taste?? that's so so much more difficult for him. he misses the sound of his name tag clinking against his collar and leash, hates the way the bell sounds.

i think part of the reason johnny would love being a puppy is because he wants to be praised. he's good at being a puppy, does it so so well unless he's looking for a punishment or some rougher play. puppytime is perfect for him - he gets to obey and be good and get belly rubs and orgasms (when simon lets him) and treats... it's his favorite time, he'd be ghost's puppy all the time if he could be.

and he's so so bad at being a kitten :( just can't do it. kittens don't play with chew toys, kittens play with laser beams and feathers dancing through the air. kittens don't wag their tails and pant, they purr. kittens don't beg for attention, they lay still and wait for pets - not even belly rubs!!! just pets down his back!!! the tail hangs too low, the collar is too light (and he hates the fucking bell) and he doesn't have his leash, and he doesn't get treats from ghost's hands he gets a bowl of milk. johnny hates hates hates being a kitten. wants to go back to being a puppy!!!

every little thing he does wrong - reaching for the chew toys, panting not purring, begging for attention, rolling to his back for belly rubs, trying to paw the collar off, trying to wag his tail - racks up more and more punishments. it's not fair!!!! johnny isn't supposed to be a kitty, he's a puppy!!!!! simon's being so mean and unfair!!!!!

keeps getting himself smacked around :( can already feel his cheek swelling a little where simon's palm keeps landing. makes him teary and whiney and sad and pathetic :(

[positivelyadhd]

ik its not ur usual positivity but THANK YOU so much for that post!!! I feel like "gifted kid burnout" really dominates the conversation and thats only one experience of many.

I was diagnosed with adhd in elementary school and was basically like. "the kid with problems" "lost cause" my entire life. one of my teachers even directly told my mom she should be ashamed of me lol. any successes were like-- "see what you just did? imagine how much more you would be capable of if you didn't have adhd." to the point where I don't even feel any sense of accomplishment for graduating college. it's just one more "failure" i avoided in other peoples eyes. (i dont personally think not graduating college is a failure at all btw, that is just Society's Message™)

this part is kinda tangential but from what i've seen a lot (ofc not all) of gifted kid burnout posts are like, if only i would have been diagnosed earlier all of this could be avoided. and maybe that's true - I understand where it's coming from at least, the frustration of feeling that something is wrong but not knowing what or having that "proof" that you're not just "lazy" etc. im not saying this isn't a valid wish or frustration but in my experience... hoooo boy.

personally being diagnosed with ADHD in the early 2000s, didn't meant you got support, it meant you were written off from the start, adults thought you had no future, you were seen as a "problem child" like it wasn't "oh you're not lazy you just have adhd!" it was "you have ADHD so you are built to be lazy and theres nothing you can do about it lol" so it didn't solve much. just created a different type of problem. im very happy to see things look to be changing though!!

I'm curious if other people had a similar experience and thank you so much for adding the 'diagnosed but not supported' part bc that is so real!!!

Absolutely this!!

My experience with diagnosis and lack of support was strange, but basically my primary (ages 4-11) school (I believe) suspected I had adhd/dyslexia and did offer some (very limited) support. But they also always told my parents they didn't think I had a learning difficulty when they asked because I was in extra programmes. I don't really think the support they did give me really helped all that much, and honestly, when I did get my diagnosis (around 12/13?) I'd spent so long thinking there was just something "wrong" with me that I feel like the lack of diagnosis was a lot more negatively impactful than not receiving support would've been.

My secondary school then managed to flip this and despite me getting my diagnosis part way through, nothing really changed either. Being told I had ADHD/Dyslexia changed me and my understanding of myself. I finally felt like things made sense and there was a reason i found things so difficult, it wasn't that there was something "wrong" with me but the system was not built for me. Although my diagnosis was early compared to some people, it felt late to me, and everything that can happen when you're undiagnosed had already set in.

I wished I'd been diagnosed earlier but honestly, I had a similar experience to you, and I don't think it would've done much. And even when I was finally diagnosed, my school also never really acknowledged my diagnosis and wouldn't put any of the accommodations that I needed in place (despite my diagnosis coming with a report which explained everything they should've been doing to support me and how they could've done it) I didn't get any accommodations for my neurodiversity until I was in uni, and I got my diagnosis in 2015 so at least for me, my experience wasn't that different to yours in the early 2000s.

When I tried to fight for the accommodations I should've been given, I was told that I would pass my exams, and so it didn't really matter, they didn't believe going through the hassle of giving me accommodations would help me (although the diagnosis report itself said otherwise.) I always felt similarly to you, I could scrape by but "imagine how much better you'd do without dyslexia/adhd" but I also had this weird "well because you're "gifted" you can get average grades, you don't need support!" message as well?

And yeah, just like you, I didn't really feel as accomplished as I should've done when I finished uni. I'm proud of myself for doing it but I do feel this weird pressure of knowing that if I didn't have adhd/dyslexia or managed it better, I would've done much better.

I apologise for rambling about myself but yeah thank you for this ask! I feel the same way, and I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in it as well.

I wish you the best dear anon <3

[detectivenyx]

Goals for 2024

2024 will mark an entire decade on tumblr on the 17th January. this is completely unrelated to my 'theme' for 2024, i just thought it was interesting.

for 2024, over the past 2-3 years i've noticed that my social skills and my anxiety have just completely done a 180 and i'm kind of back to the meek and frustrated loner i was as a teenager. part of this has been the youtube channel - there's a sort-of expectation to be grateful for the algorithm looking upon you no matter what happens afterwards, but for me it meant i had to choose between destroying the archive of my existence, having to create a maze of existence as i jump from account to account; or, have to deal with some pretty horrific depersonization, people speaking to you simultaneously like they know you (with the wrong name) and like you are a fictional character to them. part of this has been that a lot of the relationships i've had throughout my life have been trying to tiptoe around abusive friends and family, who could be perfectly calm about something that seemed massive and then blow up over something trivial. it's influenced how i view the world and how i behave, and while i knew it was unacceptable, i'd known nothing else and changing that behaviour, especially while still surrounded with it, is difficult. for every 3-4 friends who i cut off for being complete and utter shit, there has been one who's cut me off because i've been complete and utter shit. i'm full of regret for those times, and only hope those people are thriving without me.

but, even if it's difficult, it's something i need to do. so that's why this year's theme is

Year of Relationships

i've allowed myself to kind of exist in a walked-over space for far too long, where i experience the worst of both worlds in trying to stand up for myself and to keep my head down and not incite any resentments. never fully being able to commit to my values and never fully able to keep my head down about it.

this year, i think it's time i finally did put my foot down. that i took a definitive stance on myself as a person. to assert myself. because i know im in the right by not giving a neonazi my money - why should the rest of the community try to embarrass me for it? they're the ones who should feel embarrassed for giving a neonazi their money - they should be fucking ASHAMED.

but i've let some of my better friendships decay - most of my friendships are with other autistic/adhd'd folks so friendship decay isn't really A Thing, but i've still felt disconnected as i try to juggle everything else. i'd like to play more games with my online friends, to create more things with my online friends. to just... be a bit more involved with them, to re-cultivate our friendships and to try and build better ones with people i don't know so well.

but not just online, but offline too. i want to try and ask to hang out with people i don't know super well more. more boardgames, more learning about people's lives, just - trying to reconnect with humanity and improve my interpersonal relationships.

so throughout the year, i want to try to just take the plunge of just asking if people want to hang out a bit more. try to have some interesting activities prepared, etc. to feel connected again.

[tadpolesonalgae]

i think u might be tired of getting these asks abt the writing pace and how long the fics are and etc so sorry if im just adding to the pile but 😭 honestly i thought ur pacing and focusing on different aspects of characters and reader's life inside the world of CBMTHY beyond just the relationship w azriel was really interesting and refreshing 😭😭 maybe im just used to reading 100k+ word fics on ao3 but for what it's worth, my 2 cents is that the pacing was fine and even with chapters that weren't necessarily focused on azriel or eris or bas it was fun to explore the consciousness(?) of how reader thinks and interacts with other characters and living in the acotar universe 🤷‍♀️ especially the scenes with mor, i found them the most interesting because it seemed so realistic? the way reader acts around mor made soooo much sense (like, reader is severely insecure abt herself and clearly envies mor's beauty but she also enjoys her bubbly personality but she also doesn't really know how to act around mor bc they're not that close and there's prob also the azriel thing and skdjmfhshs so many nuances that play into their interaction. they're like 2 ppl in a friend group that hang out as a whole but are kinda awkward when left alone w each other and it's fun to see reader interact with a female character that's not her sister and isn't instantly best friends or enemies like in most other fics) and the convo they had abt the meat thing just makes "reader" as a character more complex and interesting? it almost makes me forget that it's technically a self insert fic which tbh i don't mind at all.

like.. there's a reason there's a whole genre dedicated to angst and slowburn. for me, the frustration and miscommunication of it all IS the fun part. bc that means whatever is to come that is the moment of reconciliation/resolution will be that much more satisfying 🤌🤌✨️

anyways yea, just wanted to say that personally i didn't mind ur writing style/pace/storyline choices and if anything for every chapter i finish i end up being more excited for the next <3

‘i think u might be tired of getting these asks abt the writing pace and how long the fics are and etc so sorry if im just adding to the pile’

No absolutely not! Any and all feedback is always appreciated because I get to see different people’s opinions and thoughts? Also again I only get to see/read cbmthy from a writers perspective, so I know what’s going to happen, I know why there are certain details mentioned and why reader stays away from certain characters but still none of that has been touched on which can be confusing on the receiving end? What I’m saying is it’s helpful hearing your interpretations with things that I hadn’t even thought about because it helps me adjust things for the future :)

‘maybe im just used to reading 100k+ word fics on ao3’

100k+ words??? 😃

‘it was fun to explore the consciousness(?) of how reader thinks and interacts with other characters and living in the acotar universe 🤷‍♀️’

I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it and not finding it boring!! They are supposed to give a little insight and be fun but I understand sometimes you just want to know more so having downtime can come across as filler?

‘especially the scenes with mor, i found them the most interesting because it seemed so realistic?’

Those scenes were often quite difficult to write because I wanted to convey the awkwardness but then that would often stunt the conversation so it would come to a dead end, which then lead to a block so I’d have to rewrite and rework the scene so there was a clear hesitance on one side without it being boring? (I don’t know if that actually worked or if I succeeded in keeping it from being monotonous, but it was the aim at least 🫠)

‘for me, the frustration and miscommunication of it all IS the fun part. bc that means whatever is to come that is the moment of reconciliation/resolution will be that much more satisfying 🤌🤌✨️’

Oh my gosh I’m so glad you enjoy that 😭

I don’t usually read angst unless it’s by a writer I’m familiar with so I think that’s a slight deficiency on my part? Like back near the beginning of cbmthy someone mentioned enjoying the resolution and until that point I was pretty committed to making it end sadly without any reparations (which isn’t happening anymore, don’t worry🧡💛)

[istadris]

Hey, i hope this isn't a bother, but i really like that short fic you wrote where mario and luigi are sleeping next to a campfire while mario thinks to himself, imo you nail their characters so well and the premise itself is so sweet :')! I reread it every so often when i need a pick-me-up sjkshd,,

But there's a part in it thats a little hard for me to understand and i really want to, its this paragraph:

"And it hurt Mario every time. He knew he didn't understand, couldn't understand how it felt to always be scared. It even frustrated him at times, but he knew it was not something he could change and he had learned to live with it. It didn't mean he should put Luigi through it."

Who is frustrated at what? What did he know he couldn't change and learnt to live with? What shouldn't mario put luigi through?

Again i apologize if its obvious, im not a native English speaker but i really really love this fic and i can tell this paragraph is a heart wrencher and i wanna fully understand it hskdhdk,,,

I hope youre doing well! Thank you for writing such a heartwarming short story :')

First of all, thank you so much for this sweet ask, Anon! I'm very happy this fic comforts you, I have a special fondness for it since it was my first try at writing in this fandom !

Don't worry about asking ! English isn't my native language either, or maybe I could have worded that part better.

To answer your questions : Mario gets frustrated at times by Luigi's anxiety and cowardice. Usually they both manage around it, but sometimes it acts up at the worst times, and as patient as Mario is with Luigi, he's still only human, and as much as they understand each other, they're still two different people and have both parts of themselves the other can't fully understand. In Mario's case, he can't completely put himself in Luigi's shoes when it comes to his fears, and he can't completely understand what it's like to always be scared.

But, and I insist on that, Mario doesn't hold it against Luigi, ever. His frustration comes from the danger Luigi's cowardice can draw (freezing in the middle of a fight, running away from something ready to chase you, freaking out and getting hurt, distracting Mario at a crucial time...).

He knows Luigi's nature can't be changed easily and it will do nothing good to force him. Instead, he does his best to keep Luigi out of stressful situations, and provides an anchor for Luigi to get through the difficult times when they can't avoid them.

The thing is, most stressful things in their lives come from their adventures, and Mario feels guilty that by taking his brother with him, he's exposing him to danger and stress. He feels it's not fair for Luigi to face his worst fears just because he came along with Mario.

As mentioned after in the fic, his method to keep Luigi away from that stress is to leave him home, but then Luigi will get anxious anyway because he worries he's a dead weight for his brother due to his cowardice. Luigi then will try to get out of his comfort zone for Mario's sake, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it don't. Which is why Mario feels anxious in turn that he can't just find the perfect solution, like he's supposed to do.

I hope I could make it more clear for you !

[lordrandreaming]

Hii❤ I love how you draw Geto and I'm absolutely frothing at whoever you have paired with Toji 🙏 Is he involved with the Zenin clan?

Hi hello!! Im so glad you love how I draw Geto!! I love him so much 😭 💙 he means the world to me and MORE so I am absolutely required to draw him with all the love my feeble mortal body can muster and beyond ✨

With kind words like that I'll draw you all the damn Geto you'd want holy shit im smiling so hard!! 😭

And that would happen to be my OC Tsunayashiro! Tsuna for short! He's 27, while Toji is 20 himself! (In that image) In the canon of JJK and not the Arranged Au terms, Tsuna is actually 37 in 2006! He and Toji meet and end up being a short fling because Tsuna is too good to pass up, Tsuna is a Celestial! He doesn't have cursed energy, nor can use Jutsu. It's a third, more complex thing what he does 😆 But anyway- Tsuna just brings out the good in everyone! He's understanding and patient, just a super sweet guy all together!

He's also a push over. Toji gets whatever he wants out of Tsuna, who lives his life bouncing place to place. He tries to be unnoticeable- but being 6'7 with mousey blond hair and those amethyst-sapphire eyes of his makes it difficult to not stand out 😂

He's on his own for the most part and lives the minimalist life. He has a small house he occasionally stays at, that Toji crashes at more often then not lol

I'm very complimented your frothing over him!! I WILL create more content of him!! I will gladly turn feral with you if you wanna shoot me a DM so I can share more of him with you :D

Im gonna ramble for a bit about him x3

In the Arranged Marriage AU (AM for short) Tsuna and Toji meet way earlier! Toji basically is considered useless to the Zen'in and his only use now is to marry someone worth something. That happens to be Tsuna!

Short and sweet tidbit about Tsuna and why he happens to be so valuable- Celestials are basically Oracle's, with the ability to copy anything they see, see into the future and the past through visions (in Tsuna's case *very unwarranted*), and are very rarely born anymore.

Tsuna in the MA, has a creepy 'uncle', who is just a man that was assigned a role. His uncle wants nothing more than money, and Tsuna knows this, after all.. He's seen the future! He knows the jist of what's going to go down, at least.

At 27 years old, 'Lord Tsunayashiro' is a very quiet, soft spoken man who occasionally goes out of his way to help someone. But more often then not, he's just too nervous and sits there quietly.. Sometimes it's for the better.

Tsuna proved his celestial prowess to Toji's father, (his Uncle really pushing the aspect of Tsuna being 'special' so he can tap into that sweet sweet Zen'in money) by speaking of the past. The things Toji's father had told no one about. Tsuna isn't happy being here, because he 100% knows why he's here.

He can feel the despair of the Zen'in household, and Toji is no different. (Might be asking why the Zen'in who are a bunch of horrible people, are marrying Toji off to a man.. I thought it would be interesting, do i really need a reason? Out of everything they've done, this is probably on the better side of the scale 💀)

Tsuna gets involved with the Zen'in only because he knows his uncle is about to get murdered. He tells Toji's father all he needs to know, and the next day he's poised to meet with Toji.

Toji is not at all stoaked about getting hitched to a complete stranger, without even being asked! Not like his opinion would matter, let alone would he even be given a choice about it!

Toji figures he's just gonna hate Tsuna, but he's more frustrated about the circumstances than anything. Imagine his surprise when he meets Tsuna for the first time!

Tsuna is introduced by Toji's father, and his 'Uncle'. Though they call him 'Lord Tsunayashiro', he says hello himself and tells Toji to just call him Tsuna :>

Toji fights with his father a bit, of course being stubborn and being a pain in the ass 😆 his father quickly gets sick of it when Tsuna's uncle persistently asks if there is a problem- which Toji promptly replies yes to.

Toji's dad threatens to lash Toji, and asks Tsuna's uncle to join him, and the lil greedy old man agreed of course. Well, he gets murdered by Toji's dad who could care less lol

When Toji's dad leaves, telling Toji 'he better start getting to know Tsuna', They talk a little and get to know eachother more, Tsuna revealing the whole Celestial thing, Toji doesn't really believe it until Tsuna makes a statement about his scar.

"They gave you that scar, on the right corner of your mouth.. By throwing you into a pit full of curses, expecting you to die.. But you didn't, did you?"

And Toji is basically: 😶

Also Tsuna opens the door Toji's dad left from and shows Toji that his uncle is dead. Neither are bothered about it really, Toji was expecting it sure, but Tsuna knew it was coming.

From then on they get a good 4 days to know eachother before being seperated for a week! It's a Zen'in tradition marriage headcanon that you spend 4 days together for courting and bonding purposes, before spending a whole week apart.

Well, Tsuna and Toji both know better than to do what the Zen'in want, and secretly sneak around and make their escape plan for after they are married.

I think it's just a fun and interesting little adventure and exploration of character! :3

If you want more Tsuna content, don't hesitate to send me a dm :D

[misspickman]

curious about all of them but ESPECIALLY theory: existence is a mirror 👀

oh ive been wrestling with this one for a while and probably will continue to, its a tim's mental issues fic bc ive seen a lot of stuff about him being depressed/passively or actively suicidal but none of it really sat right with me so im trying to figure out how i think this would manifest with the character, but its tim and hes difficult. much to think about. so unfortunately this wip is a mess and im not working on it actively bc its so hard to get the vibes right and its frustrating. anyway heres a bit

“Don't you have anything better to do,” Leslie asks—complains—as she digs out a bullet out of his shoulder on a beautiful Friday night, “than run around clobbering people all night?” 

“Crime doesn't sleep.” 

“No, but you should. And you are not the only one for this job, are you?” she points out. Rightfully. Tim still feels unnecessarily defensive and just barely stops himself from trying to prove to her how needed he is out there, actually. “You're too young for this to be the only thing you do.”

That takes him aback. This is the sort of conversation that Leslie usually unleashes on Bruce. It feels… painfully unearned to be getting it in his place. 

He doesn't want to be a part of this discussion. He'll leave that to Bruce, Leslie and Alfred to ponder over, and he can go back to his work as soon as Leslie's done wrapping up his shoulder. The only reason he's here and not doing it in front of his bathroom mirror anyway is because Helena decided to play protective and basically dumped him in front of Leslie's door, and would not let him leave even if he tried. 

It's really not that serious. It's just a shoulder. 

“With all due respect, Leslie—” 

“Tim,” she cuts him off, taking none of it, “with all due respect, you are twenty one and sitting in my clinic with a bullet wound on a Friday night. And I know you're out there every night. Do you even socialize?” 

Tim bristles. It's embarrassing, and makes him feel just as young as she's treating him. “That's none of your business.” 

It doesn't feel good, being rude to Leslie, but it's an instinctive reaction. Tim is well sick and tired of people trying to tell him how to live his life. 

He thinks back on his last attempt to talk to a person his age who isn't involved in any of his vigilante life. He even likes Buzz, he wouldn't mind reconnecting with him, which is what he assumes the sudden invitation was about, but there's nothing like a miserable social interaction where you can't think of a single non-incriminating thing to say to drive home just how unadjusted you are to having a civilian life. 

It had been easier before, back when he had dad and Dana to keep happy with lies, and was basically forced to keep a normal life. Scratch that, it wasn't easier; he agonized over keeping secrets every waking second, he kept two messy lives and never seemed to make enough time for either of them, but it did mean he had some semblance of a normal life. He hadn't thought of it that way back then, but he can see it now. There's none of that left. 

Now, he has more than enough time to dedicate himself to being Red Robin instead of Tim Drake. He thinks he's been doing a pretty good job of it—except, nobody else seems to share his opinion. 

“You'll run yourself ragged until there's nothing left but the cowl,” she says, and Tim has an inkling that this is far from the first time she's said those words.

(title from this poem bc u know. vibes)

[moroneur]

Pick up, move on.

hi there! this is a little continuation of Wishing upon shooting stars! I originally wanted to leave it be as it is but had to get over my writers block somehow! Also some readers requested a happy ending for our dear Y/n, so heres a little one shot to show you thigs are going good :) its very short but im quite happy with how it turned out . Heres PART 1 {} PART 2

It had been a month or so since your breakup with Wine. You moved out of your apartment, stayed away from any and all bars, got a new job. Things have changed, and you’re too busy to tell if it's for the better or not. At least you don't have to think about any dismissive boyfriends now. Currently at the mall, you try to stay focused on picking the best tomatoes. 

You try to focus on this mundane task but sometimes, when your mind decides to mess with you, it strays away. To that night, at grillby’s where your last date with Wine had transpired. Where he met another woman, where you met rejection. In your drunken stupor you’d almost have a mental breakdown, but another skeleton was there to set you on the right path again. He’d been there for you, heard you out, and even called you cab. You were grateful and you hope to get a chance to see him again, maybe give him a thank-you gift. He had been the last push you needed to set yourself free afterall, and it meant a lot to you. 

Ah, these ones are good enough. You put the last tomato in your plastic bag and tie it. Next stop will be the pasta section. You sigh. I do wonder how he’s doing right no- 

“ow! fuckin’ hell! watch where ya goin’ you... human?” His angry voice fizzled out into one of confusion. “Red!” You’re pleasantly surprised, even if half of your groceries are on the floor. Did you manifest him? You should think about money more then. You reach to pick up your fallen things as he stands up. “Sorry for bumping into you.” You notice something else on the floor, that isn't yours. A bottle of mustard. You reach for it and hand it over to him. He didn't notice anything fell, and accepted the bottle with a little grin. “s’nothing. glad ya remembered m’name, human.” 

You went home a lot later that day. You didn't mind though, at least you caught up to Red, his 

number saved on your phone (and yours on his).

Work has been getting increasingly difficult lately, and you just can't help but crave for a break. An actual break, not a quick smoke or a 5-minutes coffee break. It’s not healthy, and you’re so frustrated because your stupidass coworkers can't seem to do the stupidass job right and– 

Safe to say that your only friend who's awake after 11 p.m. is Red. You both went to each other to vent about work and life in general, and the knowledge of someone having almost the same problems as you makes you (selfishly) sleep better at night. You hope Red feels the same. 

Tonight was one of those nights. You didn’t really feel tired, so you were on your phone, talking to Red about the things that transpired today.

Dumb edgy bitch

Yo.

Me: Sup

Dumb edgy bitch: Im heading to grillbys in an hour, dyou feel up to joining me?

Me: If this is a scheme for a date then i must decline

Dumb edgy bitch: Im not just a flirt yknow. Thought u knew me better smh

Me: Just makin sure. Ye im up to it. See u there :)

It’s a good thing you weren't very tired tonight. You were invited to the same Grillby’s as.. That time. But that's fine. You’re not going on a date this time and you will make sure you enjoy yourself (because you know you're gonna hate yourself the next morning once you wake up for work with a headache). You make yourself a strong coffee, just in case, and get dressed in a casual outfit.

You arrive at Grillby’s in no time. Actually, right on time, it's 11:55 p.m., might as well order a beer or whatever. You take a deep breath, nervous. The last time you’ve been here, you’d gotten plenty of pitiful looks from Grillby. Perhaps you’ll flirt with him to see him embarrassed (he seems so stoic, is that even possible? Well, you’ll find out!) as a little bit of revenge. 

Determination fueling your steps, you open the door.