#im here for the poor emotional regulation shitty communication trauma impacting interpersonal skills and maladaptive coping mechanisms

[kamaela]

preface by saying 1) i generally dont prescribe to drarry is canon 2) i also think canon is pre bare in harrys pov so basically a blank slate do whatever tf you want 3) related to prev point, we all read/interact with books/music/art through the lens of our own preferences, biases and experiences. interpreting harrys actions in dh as a demonstration of "this fuckin guy" or "empathy" or "pity?" all valid. suggesting there's concrete evidence in canon for or against any of these takes is a bit of a stretch.

now ill go on to share my take that no one asked for

when reading canon interactions b/w harry and draco in DH, i consider how much capacity harry has by the end of that book. like this guy's been through hell and back, likely hasnt slept properly in weeks, probably feeling completely overwhelmed by all the emotional upheaval he's been through/witnessed - the boys gotta prioritise! i think at that point harrys well past the realisation that there are things far far worse than a childhood bully/rival. harry focusing on snape, or grown ass adult death eaters tryna kill children, or the way voldemort is using draco, is just harry saving resources! he cant possibly have the energy to feel angry or whatever at draco in those moments. there is a real actual Big Bad around him, a teenage school rival who has proved himself time and time again to not actually be a serious threat (see dumbledore murder attempts: 1 through 3) is NOT harrys priority at that point.

extending what fai said, the absence/reduction of expressed animosity/anger from harry in those moments does not mean its gone away forever (it could! or maybe not! theres plenty of fandom creations out there that make convincing arguments either way)

i dont have any trouble with the idea that post hbp harry might recognise that dracos not exactly loving the whole death eater life, that he might consider draco to be acting out of fear rather than willful malicious intent, but to say these realisations for harry lead him to feel NO feelings of animosity towards draco?? that doesn't track for me.

draco wants to survive, hes not out here ready to die for the cause (see flip flopping: im going to capture you and bring you to voldy harry > oh no save me from fiendfyre harry > no dont kill me random DE, im one of you). harry on the other hand is quite literally ready to sacrifice himself for the cause. there are fundamental differences in these two perspectives that would simply not disappear just bc harry saw draco crying in the bathroom or lowering his wand when facing dumbledore.

sure, harry may not feel angry towards him, but he probably feels a lack of respect, a level of disdain or exasperation (this fuckin guyyyy). ill argue that a low level of respect is a pretty decent base for animosity to spring back up again during any post-war interactions, including but not limited to; forced marriage/bonding, coworkers, competitive quidditch, stressful situations such as time travel or amnesia etc etc.

if draco is not at all a prat when they meet post war, maybe, maybe harry thinks "alright lets let bygones be bygones." but if he is a prat (and he IS and thats why we LOVE HIM) then its totally reasonable that harry meets that prat-ishness with his own brand of surly irritation (this fuckin guy!)

and then when he cant stop thinking about draco? this fuckin guy

and when they inevitably start fucking and draco is all draco about it (the arrogant smirk is basically canon at this point)? this fuckin guy

and when harry falls in love with the prat? this. fuckin. guy.

im not a fan of the 'post-hbp harry just sees draco as a victim' view bc a) harry's known him for longer than the duration of hbp, b) draco was a victim of circumstance sure but also did several shitty things all on his own, and c) one of the last times they interact is when harry finds draco trying to convince a death eater that he, too, is a death eater for real, come on you guys, it's me! your old pal,

and the feeling that surges in harry in that moment i am convinced is not pity but rather, "this fuckin guy"

i was talking to @faiell about how "this fuckin guy" really sums up harry's pov for me. "this fuckin guy" teeth grit, "this fuckin guy" speechless, "this fuckin guy" furiously jerking off,

and there's i feel certainly a clear path to "this fuckin guy" (fond) as @faiell put it, but it takes a minute and that's ok. that's the magic :)