#im gonna take some kind of management course so i can get a job my mom's friend offered me

[gwensy]

i like scrolling through gwensys tumblr because no matter what kind of day im having i know shes having a worse one

[etheries1015]

I had sort of a crack idea of what would the non-human twst boys do if their crush or s/o was allergic to them? Savanaclaw and Octonivelle with like the fur allergy and seafood allergy. Maybe diasomnia’s s/o has some sort of fairy allergy? Sorry if this is too silly for you to write, it’s alright if you don’t 😭

I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD A SIMILAR THOUGHT i'm allergic to cats and i'm like...man what am I gonna do around Grim BUAHAHA...this is a great idea. Nothing is too silly to write my friend!

Non-human Twst boys reacting to a S/O who is allergic to them!

featuring: Savanaclaw and Octavinelle!

general warnings: gender neutral reader, not really proof read \

TW: None! just fluff. and allergies.

Leona

The first time you sneezed around him, they didn't know it was literally BECAUSE of him. This was until you two took a nap together for the first time, and when you woke up he saw your face...Oh, brother. Your eyes were puffy and red, congested, and your nose leaked like nobody's business. He genuinely felt bad about this, but wouldn't let you in on his true feelings/emotions. Without understanding the cause (though he had an inkling) he immediately took you to the doctor.

"They're allergic to me? What kind of shitty nonsense is that?!"

Leona invested in the most expensive of healthcare for you. Allergy pills and whatnot, because he wasn't about to sacrifice his lovely naps with his significant other. No amount of allergy is gonna stop him from getting what he wants, and that is your affection.

Ruggie

"Sooo...basically you're saying you're allergic to me? Cause' im part heyena?"

"It's a little more complicated than that. It's more like...animal dander? I guess?" You didn't seem to certain in your answer either, it was more or less a guess since...well, there wasn't half beast half human where you are from. You can only make an educated guess on why you're so allergic to him based off of the information you had back at home.

Ruggie is honestly so sad about this. He can't afford to get you any treatments or medical help with this, so you two just have to be careful. He does manage to get his hands on some special washing products (probably legally) and takes extra care of what he eats, and how clean he his. He's consistently brushing his hair and cleaning his ears.

"Man i'm such a simp. What's wrong with me?!" ...He isn't used to bending backward for people. But seeing you so sick around him, hurt him even more than his pride, so he of course would do anything to make sure you're as comfortable around him as possible. Ahh...the power of love <3

Jack

He gives me the "I must stay away from you for your own good," Type. Although this doesn't last very long. Jack is incredibly loyal, and he's far too attached to let you go. There's times where he would try and keep a distance (much to your annoyance), but when you began sneezing and itching your eyes you knew he was somewhere nearby. Jack is protective like that, but it pains his heart to see you so sick because of something he cannot control.

He does both a mix of what Ruggie and Leona does. He took up extra part-time jobs to afford good allergy medication for you, the entire works. Pills, eye drops, nasal sprays, breathing treatments...He also invests in high-quality shampoo and conditioner to help rid of his dander and hopefully reduce the amount of shedding he has.

With the amount of hair Jack has, he is CONSTANTLY brushing it and it is CONSTANTLY shedding. He does EVERYTHING under the sun to control this, all for you. Although... this is a partnership! You told him that a relationship goes two ways. You love him regardless of how itchy you may get, and you equally chip in to problem-solve.

You're both loyal to each other until the very end, no matter what trivial matters may get in your way <3

Azul

He knew before you two started dating that you had a severe allergy to seafood, so he made it a point to avoid you. But...that didn't stop YOU from coming to HIM. It was one of the things that drew him towards you, the way even though you were gaining a rash you would still wrap your arms around the back of him. Although it wasn't as bad in his human form, he was always terrified what would happen if he were to unleash his original form.

But worry not! We are talking about the literal king of potionology. He finds a remedy very quickly, and you trust him...a little too fast. He is astonished when he says;

"Take this...the second you drink this your allergies will be something of the past. But be warned-" You grabbed it out of his hand and chugged it. He stared at you with his jaw slacked open, his face turning a deep shade of hot red when you throw yourself onto Azul and place a big fat kiss against his cheek.

He imploded. But hey! his potion worked! He tried to get you to give him some sort of paypack, but you mentioned that your form of payment was in that kiss.

He now demands kisses every time he makes the potion for you <3 It's kind of a silent agreement. He just stares at you after you're done drinking it, and whenever you feign ignorance the point upon his lips is far too obvious.

Jade

The first time you broke out in hives, he remained completely calm. Jade is rather smart, and he understands your allergy must be because of his disposition as a mer-folk. Although in human form, he couldn't help but notice the way you would hide your rashes either behind makeup or by bulking clothing. He was amused by this for a moment, but when he saw it worsen he couldn't help but become worried.

"Why would you go so far for me? what do you gain by allowing yourself to become sick?" When you replied with a blush that you simply liked Jade, thus his shock soon turned into action. He excused himself for a few days to climb mountains and collect the most effective of flowers and medicinal remedies for allergies and put together a potion that you were able to take to alleviate your symptoms.

He isn't the vice house warden for nothing! His talents and magic prowess truly aided him, albeit in a way that was seemingly selfish. It was all worth it for you, though.

But he does use you as an example during a class project in potionology, having you stand up in front of the class while he compares your allergies before and after taking the potion.

He got a 100% in the project. And a Significant other. A win-win for everyone!

Floyd

Floyd is much smarter than he lets on. The moment he hugs you from behind and touches your arm, he notices the rash right away. He eyed it with a frown, and without saying anything he let go of you much to your dismay, leaving you to your lonesome for a few days on end.

You had to admit you missed Floyd, his silly jokes and way of talking, his unpredictable personality, and the attention he would often give y you. While sitting at the table during a free period, your head was propped up against your hand and a sad sigh escaping your lips.

"Ehhhh? Why is shrimpy sitting here all alone? Didya miss me?" A familiar voice teased as arms wrapped around you and something akin to a vegetable drink set in front of you. You gasped and smile up at the tall male, who wasn't wrapping his arms around you as you were used to, typically ignoring the itching of your rashes. He convinced you to drink what he sat in front of you, and although you eyed it with suspicion, you sighed and drank it in one gulp and tightly shut eyes.

Nothing happened. You turned to look over at Floyd, about to question the purpose of making you drink the (surprisingly tasty) smoothie-like liquid but were quickly interrupted by lips pressing against your own.

The kiss caught you off guard and you began to panic, talking about your allergy...before you realized that nothing was happening. No rash, no itchiness, nothing.

"Seeeee? It's a potion. I made Azul make it for me. Now I can touch you as much as I want," He smiled proudly. However he managed to convince Azul would forever be beyond you...

He forgets to give you the potion sometimes, only when you two are cuddling and a rash or itching pops up do the both of you realize it's time for a dose.

Ya'll are so silly for each other <3

[mono-dot-jpeg]

boy failures for u - i. yoichi, s. nagi, s. ryusei, b. meguru

summary; in which some boys just love you so much, they simply can't function

genre/extra tags; scenarios, fluff, comedy, projecting my love for dog energy boys, they're so pathetic /pos, bachira is clumsy, ryusei is an embarrassingly horny dude (can confirm, he gets no bitches, absolutely ZERO play!!), nagi... is perfect as he is, yoichi,,,, is just socially awkward around people he has a crush on

[gender neutral reader]

a/n; look at me being fancy this one panel banner, slay. tbh i couldn't think of a good three photos to use for it so i tried this which is kind of nice. anyways i had a sudden thought hit me and it must be done. and what better anime to write for than the one where everyone has unexplainable gay tension between each other. i swear im as caught up as possible i think and i swear the gay tension is like,, crazy.

isagi yoichi is endearing. he's so bad at being normal around you. his face flushed a cute red, and his words barely managing to leave his mouth as you talk to him so sweetly. he doesn't know how to handle a crush. and it's so cute to tease him because he just doesn't know how to respond properly.

the times where he does manage to gain enough confidence to talk a conversation with you, he's never taking the lead in any of them. he's talking [somewhat] normally to you, answering your questions and [attempting] to reply to your thoughts and responses. of course, just don't flirt with him too hard. there's like a 50 percent chance he will understand it or not.

he can't even admire you correctly. when he attempts to give you a compliment, he's saying all the wrong words and apologizing profusely like he offended your entire bloodline. he's so utterly enchanted by you, he wonders if you're an angel sent just for him.

"you're so nice, y/n." "huh?" "i-i mean you're really cute! wait- i didn't mean that! fuck- not that i don't think you look cute! you're really a great person, you know?! sorry! i'm just gonna go back to practice...!"

nagi seishiro is so lazy that you can't help but watch over him. you understand why reo adores him (a little too much). he's a boy with pretty privilege and talent. he talks to you with such honesty that he unintentionally flirts with you. he doesn't know a lot of things well, but even he's had his fair share with understanding liking people (but that's only with the random dating sims he's tried).

when he manages to get on his feet, whether it's for a soccer match or you, he's stuck by you like a cute koala. he whines about everything being "too much of a hassle." but he finds himself walking around looking for you, no matter how far you are. he whines to you about how he had to get up to find you, and he's cuddling close to you. his mouth turned into his signature X shape as he pouts at you, annoyed that you just had to be away from him for more than a minute.

he tries so hard to be around you but at the cost of his laziness, he mutters to you about how much easier it would be if you just stay with him all the time like his purple-haired companion or his cactus pet. he fell for you first, but he makes it so easy for you to fall harder.

"why do you always have to do stuff?" "it's my job, sei." "you should just stay with me all the time. you take care of me so well."

shidou ryuusei is annoyingly desperate for you. if isagi was endearing, shidou was insolent. he speaks before he thinks. he has no shame in chasing after you. it's quite a feat that you haven't even shooed him away as much as sae has. you sort of find a friend in sae because of that. he always rolls his eyes when you mention him. he wonders why you keep being around the blonde jock, and you tell him, "who doesn't love a pathetic man?"

when he talks to you, he just can't read a room with you in it. he's the type of guy to say "this shot is for you." and it hits the goal post and then to his face. of course he'd never actually miss in a real match but i can guarantee that it would happen during a practice match. he unintentionally humiliates himself every time he tries to be cool. if sae is there, it's even worse. he's trying to bump up the flirting up to a 200 and failing miserably to woo either of you.

he's like those tweets where it's like, "how did i pull them? easy. i just went, PLEASEPLEAPLSEPWPLEAPLELA-". without fail, he basically tries to re-enact that but he doesn't even pull you because you'd much rather wait for him to actually be a decent man and grow the rest of his brain. though it doesn't seem he'll learn his lesson anytime soon.

"did i ever tell you how hot you look right now?" "yes. you have. multiple times. today." "please go out with me." "no."

bachira meguru is confusing. he's clingy, blunt, teasing, a little stupid but has the spirit, and an absolute cutie. he's passionate about what he likes. and surprise, surprise, he likes you. he's an infodumper but you don't mind at all. but sometimes those talks take a hard left into just telling you how much he likes you. you better hope you're strong because he will be jumping on you for a hug.

when he's just buzzing with excitement, he can't help but scramble by your side to cling onto you in any way that you will allow him to. he's not as boy failure as the others on this list because even when he fails to capture your heart, he's still succeeding in his book. he loves when you give him any sliver of attention. that's probably his thing as a boy failure. he is a hyper and needy dog who's too big to cuddle with but doesn't care. and you can't say no because then they just stare at you with those big eyes until you cave.

he's the type of guy to be confused when people ask if you're dating him and you say no. "what do you mean we're not dating? i thought this was the dating." he's never actually confessed, but he considers his "s-tier affection" to be confession enough. but he's kind of coward whether he realizes it or not. he's scared to actually say that he wants to be yours, but that's like an angsty story for another time, SO SHUT.

"what if we kissed? like right now?" "but we're not dating, meguru." "we're not? we should." "i'll think about it." "no think! just do!"

[mmurderhousewrites]

Rich Baby Daddy pt. one (sukuna x reader)

Summary: You're invited to a party by a close friend and end up bumping into someone from your past.

Warnings: none.

The mornings used to be your favorite. Waking up next to your hunk of a man. The sun shining through your bedroom windows. Oh how you missed those lovely mornings.

Now however, your mornings consisted of you waking up at the crack of dawn due to your crying 4 year old. bathing and clothing not only yourself but your child as well, making breakfast, and somehow managing to get to work on time.

Now on your days off, if you were lucky, Yuji, your son, would sleep in. And if god was somehow on your side that day, your baby daddy might even come pick up his son for awhile, giving you some free time. But those days were rare considering Sukuna is a business man.

Sukuna is the CEO of jujutsu tech, a huge electronic corporation. you had met him through your close friend getou and hit it off. Eventually you two moved in with each other and not long after that he got you pregnant.

Times have changed though unfortunatley. Sukuna is a very hard working man, so hardworking that he put his job before his own family. About a year after yuji was born you decided to leave after getting into a big argument with sukuna, taking yuji with you.

At first you stayed with your parents for a while before finding yourself a cute apartment in the city, it was a two bedroom 1 and a half bathroom. That's where you and yuji have been ever since.

You and your baby dad have had a neutral relationship ever since, sukuna of course always trying to get you to go back but times have changed and you are a new woman.

As of now it was about 1:00pm. You worked as a journalist in the new station in the city, not to far from your apartment. sitting at your desk, going through old news feed, your phone dings.

Looking over you see youve gotten a message. It was from Getou.

Geto: hey, theres some kind of party later a friend of mine is hosting. Wanted to know if u were interested in being my plus 1 ;p

You giggle to yourself. What a flirt. You could always drop yuji off to your parents for the night, after all they loved your little pink haired baby. And on top of that you could use a night out.

Quickly typing back to geto you respond,

Me: Sounds interesting.. Whats the dresscode?

geto: formal. I figure you might get a good story out of one of these rich folks huh?

Me: hmmm i think im sold suguru.

geto: great! ill pick you up at 8.

"L/N! I'm not paying you to text on your phone! I need a story!" You hear your boss, Mark yell from his office behind you.

You roll your eyes before collecting your things, standing up you head over to marks office. "The Richardsons are hosting a party tonight, i'm gonna see what tea i can find. I know the juliani"s are hiding something." You say leaning against the door frame.

"yeah well the Juliani's have a mind of their own."

"im gonna leave to go get ready." you say turning around, heading to the exit.

"L/N!" Mark calls out to you making you stop and turn to face him. "be careful. I don't need another Journalist coming up missing." You nod your head before leaving the building and heading to the parking lot.

It was true, the last journalist who went to investage the Juliani family, they turned up missing. In fact it was your coworker Nobara Kugisaki. Police reports were made out by her family about a week ago and nothing has come up.

you shivered as you walked to your car, the cold making it so you can see your breathe. Once you reached your car, a small 2020 Honda civic, you opened your door and put your bags in.

"Y/n" you freeze, hearing that oh so sexy voice say your name for the first time in what? months?

Turning around you find yourself face to face with the man you once loved, oh who are you kidding still love. He was wearing a long black coat and black jeans, his pink hair ruffled as usual and his tattoos just added to his handsome features.

"ryo- what are you doing here?" You ask, crossing your arms.

He walks closer to you, making you take a step back, leaning against your cars back door.

"i just wanted to see you." He says quietly, swiping a piece of your hair out of your face and behind your ear. You can't help but blush.

Pushing his hand away, you roll your eyes. "What are you really here for" you werent an idiot. Sukuna is a powerful man and busy one at that, there was no way he got out of work just to come see you.. especially considering he barely seen your son. But you couldn't be mad after all he was sending you checks every few weeks with at least 3,000$ on them.. so he was still providing for you and yuji in a way.

He chuckles, "I heard youre going to that party later with Getou.."

Was he serious right now? "What about it?" You question, eyebrow perking up.

"Don't go." He says darkly.

"Are you kidding me? What are you jealous? I'm a grown woman i deserve a night out once in a while!" You say before turning away and hoping in your car.

Sukuna leans against your window, so you roll it down. "Look kitten, if i were you i'd actually listen to your baby dad for once. It's not gonna be pretty" he smiles before backing away from your car.

You take this opportunity to pull out of the parking lot, making your way to yuji's daycare.

When you arrive at the daycare. You are first greeted by gojo, one of the daycare teachers and also getou's best friend.

"Well hello there Y/N! Here for yuuji?" Gojo asks, leaning towards you. "Its nap time right now so the children are asleep."

"Well unfortunately i'm going to have ti disturb his sleep because we have a pretty busy schedule for tonight" you laugh. "How have you been?" You havent really had a conversation with gojo in a while, you and him werent close, maybe because of how much of an extrovert he is.

"Im alriiight! I got a new apartment on 37th its a real beautyy." He drags on.

"Nice! Thats good to here" gojo pulls out his walky talky and yells loudly, "yuji has an early dismissal!!"

Next thing you know, theres a bunch of crying children in the next room over. What an idiot. You mentally facepalm.

Shoko, another daycare teacher comes out with yuji in her arms. He looks over to you and smiles.

After you get yuji and yourself situated in the car, you guys make your way over to your parents house. You had called them on your way to get yuji and of course they were more then thrilled to take yuji for the night.

Your parents lived anout 25 minutes away from the city so the drive wasnt too bad. Yuji was in his carseat playing on his ipad and minding his business.

"Mommy can i have 100$" your four year old says randomly. You cant help but laugh loudly.

"What do you need $100 for butt?" You ask, looking back at your som through the rear view mirror.

"I want a trampoline" he says, looking at you.

"You already have a trampoline at Nana's house and youre going there right now."

"But thats at nana's i want my own! My friend megumi has one at his house" he says, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah yeah."

After dropping your sin off to your parents, and making your way make home, you look through your closet trying to find a decent formal dress. You did have quit a few dresses considering you and sukuna would attend parties and other get togethers for business reasons.

Coming across a long black velvet dress you stop your search. This dress is skin tight and strapless, but has small diamonds adorned around the dress, making it sparkle just right.

Once you got dressed and finished your makeup, you put your hair up into a slick back ponytail, and added a little star charm clip to go with it. You looked absolutely gorgeous. Though your choice in heels would definitely make your feet sore after a night of dancing, looking good is what truly mattered. After all you were really only going to collect some dirt on any of the business men doing work with the Juliani's.

Tonight sure was going to be interesting.

[maddsmallow]

" "con, don't you ever fuckin' relax?"

"lieutenant, i'm a machine. i don't need to 'relax'."

"oh fuck you, come on, we're on break. loosen up a little or something. you can chill out from your fuckin' mission for the three minutes it'll take me to smoke this cigarette. and shut your mouth before you go telling me it isn't actually exactly three minutes on average to smoke a cigarette or whatever."

connie closes her mouth. a small addition to her list of missions to accomplish is made: try to appear "relaxed" to appease lieutenant anderson. a raise in friendship means an easier partner to work with, so connie carefully inspects the lieutenant's posture and does her best to replicate it. being a machine of plastic and metal certainly doesn't make it easy. "

hankcon, but gorls. did i base hank off of my butch lesbian manager at my old job at a sex toy store who was covered in spongebob tattoos? absolutely yes i did

mostly i just wanted to portray fem!hank as a Large Woman because i think there is a severe lack of that. broad with muscle hidden under fat, like the kind of woman who does shot put. so uh,,, ms trunchbull basically LMAO. deep voice, raspy from smoking and drinking, all that good stuff 😩👌 also peep the button on her jacket hehe

got some headcanons and stories for them under the cut!

-hank wears cargo shorts 100% of the time. no matter the weather or temperature. like, 'bill and ted at prom in shorts, but it's her at a dpd ceremony in cargo shorts' level. but not actually because i'm totally gonna draw her in a pantsuit later, totally not with connie on her hip in a slinky dress 👀

-also yes hank's shirt is a spongebob reference

-when people ask hank why she goes by hank and not her "real name," (which i like to headcanon is "henrietta") she always says, "oh it's actually a really funny story, i'll tell you later," and the later never comes lmao. or, if she does tell you, it's some made up wacky story that actually has nothing to do with giving herself the name hank. the real reason? she just likes it

-speaking of "henrietta," this story, 'if you know where to look' by ghost_teeth, works so fucking well with a lot of my headcanons about how their characters would be like genderbent! highly recommend it, and all their dbh stories honestly!

-connie has a compact gun (i asked my brother for examples and he said sig p365 or springfield hellcat, which i think work perfectly for this) holstered inside her jacket on the left side. also, i'm stealing this idea from this post (which basically almost has the same design for fem!connor (altho like, most designs for her are basically the same lmao)) but she also has a knife strapped to her thigh

-her skirt is actually made of some super high tech flexible and durable material, and she's got specific programming to make her balance crazy good, since she'll be running in heels. she's made to hunt and pursue deviants so obviously she needs to be able to run and jump. the outfit is only made to appear like a standard "business woman" to blend in with the humans she would be required to work with, but otherwise gives her everything/doesn't hold her back from doing what she needs to complete her mission. here's a bonus conversation i had with @extraordinaryandroid about it lmaoo:

-hank met connor-51 first for the ortiz case, but connie-52 (with 51's memories of course) came in the next day when it was announced they were to be officially paired to investigate deviants. cyberlife has their grubby lil hands in everything so of course they knew their RK800 unit would be paired with this lieutenant anderson before basically anyone else, and deemed that she'd get along better with a "female model" that she would find attractive. which of course has hank like WOW that's super weird and gross of y'all! and i fucking hate that it's working you pieces of shit at cyberlife !!!! but ofc connie's like "im a machine i dont even have a gender" all the while hank's sweatin major thirsty bullets

-at the cyberlife tower, connor-51 is the one to hold hank at gunpoint. how did he get hank to trust him? idk i haven't figured that out yet lmao, but the angst of connor-51 essentially taking the place of -60 from the game in the sense that he's clearly deviant in some capacity, in this context being that he feels connie stole the life he deserved (which he'd never admit) and now wants to suck up to cyberlife and be their best boi to feel important and special again and not knowing they'd just throw him away for the RK900 model, is very good imo. that was a very long sentence so i hope it made sense lmaoo. have i worked out all the details of how all that shit would work in a story? absolutely not, im too busy thinking about butch fem!hank making her robo girlfriend bluescreen in the bedroom 🤪

also if ur wondering wtf the background is, idk. my usual plain color gradient was too simple, but i did NOT want to put in the effort to do a whole ass real background, so i settled on something in between. meh, it's just them hagin' out behind the station on a smoke break ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

consider supporting me on ☕! ko -fi. com / maddsmallow (without spaces)

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hi! I’ve got a CSI question. Have you ever written about how, exactly, Sara & Grissom managed to keep their relationship secret for *two entire years*?

I mean, on one hand, neither seem to socialise with the team out-of-hours that much - so Grissom being weird and secretive is just Grissom, Sara spending a lot of time ‘alone’ is just Sara.

But I keep coming back to all the little things that the rest of the team of actual trained investigators should’ve noticed! Because IME you definitely notice when two people are sleeping together - little things like smelling like the same soap, or mentioning having watched the same movies, showing up to work at the same time, or both being suspiciously ‘busy’ at the same time. Two entire years, and not Catherine, Warrick, Nick, or Greg picked up on this?

(Also, they must’ve really had to go to an effort to cover it up, which brings up all sorts of questions about them feeling guilty about ‘lying’ to the team - though I’m personally of the view that, until Sara’s kidnapping, they hadn’t really spoken about what they ‘were going to do’ about their relationship re: lab policy and team dynamics, and were just kind of basking in the honeymoon phase, but your take on that might be different.)

But again - I’m more fascinated by the actual day-to-day nature of keeping it secret. I mean, it’s not like they can go away for a relaxing weekend - due to the nature of their jobs they’re nearly always on call, so it would’ve been very hard to not somehow get ‘caught out’. Just something I ponder, and was wondering what your perspective might be.

hi, anon!

so i have actually written a multichapter fic about the logistics of the gsr "secret dating" era (explored within the context of an s7 double-homicide investigation), which you can read here, if you're interested.

otherwise, in response to your question:

in theory, there should be a thousand-and-one different potential tells for team graveyard grissom and sara are a couple over the course of the two-plus odd years they are secretly together.

in theory, grissom and sara should in time start to smell the same, because they use the same laundry detergent and eat the same foods and sleep in the same bed.

in theory, they should always use the same sort of brought-from-home brands on the job, to the degree their doing so is potentially noticeable—the same water bottles and sunscreen in the field and the same silverware and tupperware containers for their lunches.

in theory, they should both have the same short, roan and white dog hairs covering their clothes.

in theory, grissom should sometimes have long, brown sara hairs covering his clothes, too.

in theory, sara should screw up at some point and call grissom gil or gilbert within earshot of a team member.

grissom does screw up and call sara "my dear" in front of super dave and a couple of uniform cops in episode 07x24 "living doll."

in theory, grissom should once or twice arrive for a callout with lipstick in sara's shade smeared on his shirt collar.

in theory, catherine should someday turn up at grissom's condo uninvited, looking to get his signature on some overtime approvals he neglected before the month runs out, only to recognize sara's car in grissom's lot—but not in the visitors' section.

in theory, sara should at least once, unbeknownst to grissom, during her off-hours, take a work-related call from nick or warrick or greg, only to have grissom walk into the room, already in the process of talking to her ("darlin', i was gonna run to the store. did you want me to pick up—?"), and the person on the other end of the line should recognize his voice.

in theory, one or the other of them should perhaps accidentally answer the other person's cell as they're both fumbling around in the dark, in the blear of sleep, hurrying to catch an emergency call.

in theory, they should use each other's mannerisms and turns of phrase too often to blame on coincidence.

in theory, they should at least once, by the law of probability, because vegas is not actually such a very big city, accidentally run into a teammate someplace during their off-hours—in circumstances where it's clear they are on a date or else doing household errands together.

in theory, someone should realize for as rarely as either one of them takes pto, whenever one of them does do so, it always happens to coincide with the other person's scheduled days off.

in theory, since the department provides their cell phones, someone in the accounting office should look over their records and notice they call and text each other five times as often as they do any of their other teammates—and at odd, non-working hours.

in theory, warrick should raise an eyebrow at grissom bringing sara lunch in episode 07x01 "built to kill" pt. i.

in theory, any one of their teammates should question why sara knows where in his office grissom keeps his secret keys in episode 07x13 "redrum."

in theory, since grissom seems to be in the habit of having his personal post sent to the lab, at some point, junk mail jointly addressed to him and sara should be delivered to his desk, and someone should see it.

in theory, one or the other of them should inadvertently leave some personal item in the other person's car, only for another teammate to discover it there on a ride-along ("hey sara, how come grissom's checkbook is on your dashboard?").

in theory, there is no way, even for as clever and motivated as they both are, grissom and sara should be able to keep up their ruse for as long as they do without anybody being the wiser—and especially not considering they eventually do live together.

in theory, someone should at some point clock them.

—but there's "theory" and then there's "practice."

and for however unrealistic it may be, "in practice," the show suggests grissom and sara do a fairly good job of keeping their secret for the two+ years they're together prior to when natalie davis abducts sara.

so our question then becomes, "how?"

—and i think the answer to that question is twofold: i.e., "very carefully" and "because they get lucky."

more discussion after the "keep reading," if you're interested.

__

so i, like you, tend to believe grissom and sara don't really have an "extraction plan" when it comes to their secret relationship—meaning i don't think they have ever set a hard deadline for when they might come clean to the team or how they might manage to do so without imploding their whole lifestyle.

to my mind, they never directly discuss those eventualities because a) as you posit, to do so would make them feel guilty about the depth and scope of their deception; and b) to do so would require them to discuss their probable future together, which is a subject they're both scared to broach, given they aren't 100% certain the other person is as "in it to win it" as they are themselves.

that said, i do nevertheless think they have "rules of engagement" regarding how they conduct their secret relationship itself.

in fact, i think they would have to, just given the very intricate nature of the thing they're attempting to do.

preventing a team of trained observers from noticing the fact two amongst their number are engaged in a long-term illicit intimate relationship is not the kind of deception one can just successfully maintain on the fly—and especially not when the two people in question eventually move in together and start blending their private lives.

there would have to be some game-planning involved. some strategy. some active maintenance of the moving parts of the whole delicate machine.

as i discuss in the post linked above, i think their rules more or less boil down to three main things.

firstly, i think they are both opposed to actively lying about being together. though they will lie by omission (i.e., by simply failing to disclose the fact of their relationship to anyone and by allowing others to draw incorrect inferences about their love lives that they then themselves fail to correct), they’re not going to look anyone in the eyes and say “i’m single right now” or “i’m dating [fill in the name of some imaginary person]” or “god, i could never date grissom” or “i can’t stand sara.” they’re just going to keep quiet about being together rather than loudly protesting they’re not or pretending to be in relationships with other people.

secondly, i believe they are of a mind not to drastically alter their behavior in each other’s presence for the purpose of “throwing others off of their trail.” while they’re not going to hold hands, kiss, or embrace each other in public, they’re also not going to avoid each other or completely refrain from touching, standing close to, and/or showing affection to each other, either. hence why, for instance, grissom will bring sara lunch, never mind that warrick is right there (see episode 07x01 “built to kill” pt. i)—because his mo is to always treat her like his romantic partner, even if he’s not explicitly acknowledging she is. if these overt displays of affection lead to someone realizing they’re together, then so be it; they’re not about to pretend they’re not in love with each other, though. thankfully, by the time they actually start officially dating, they’ve already been acting like a couple for long enough otherwise, their coworkers just expect them to be “like that,” meaning nobody really raises an eyebrow when grissom calls sara “dear” or sara knows where grissom keeps things hidden in his office. by that point, it’s just kind of par for the course with them as far as the rest of the team is concerned, you know? it’s just how they’ve always been.   

finally, i think they have a kind of understanding between them if anyone ever figures out their secret, they’re going to come clean, not just to whomever it is who finds them out but to everyone; at that point, the jig is up, and they’re not going to pretend anymore.

of course, they also undoubtedly have an even more practical set of rules related to how they conduct themselves (and safeguard their relationship) on a daily basis.

more on those rules in a minute.

even so, as discussed above, since even the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, and there are such things as accidents and quirks of circumstance no one, however careful, can anticipate or account for before they happen, i also believe for as much as grissom and sara do take very deliberate precautions, their long-standing success in perpetrating their ruse is also just as much the result of good luck as it is any actions performed on their parts.

they get away with what they're doing not just because they're cautious but because they have the good fortune never to have a coworker glimpse anything incriminating.

however improbably, no one ever walks in on them at the wrong time and sees or hears the wrong thing. there must never be any accidents. no confluences of events which conspire to drag their secret out into the light.

the universe itself must help them perpetrate their deception—

—at least until it doesn't anymore and natalie davis is able to figure them out in a way none of their teammates ever has.

but just sticking to the teammates.

i have a longer post here on the subject, but i think they remain so oblivious to what's going on right under their noses when it comes to grissom and sara largely due to confirmation bias.

basically, they see what they are already disposed to see, where grissom and sara are concerned.

remember in episode 02x09 "and then there were none" when grissom tells brass that anecdote about the basketball game and the gorilla suit?

he says a harvard professor once conducted a study in which he asked test subjects to count the number of times the ball was passed during the game. then he had someone dressed in a gorilla suit run across the court mid-game. afterward, he asked the subjects if they noticed the gorilla, and fifty percent of them responded, "what gorilla?"

his point in telling the story is people often develop "situational blindness" and focus on the wrong details when they don't know what they're looking at.

the same principle can be applied to team graveyard and grissom and sara's secret relationship.

each member of team graveyard has their own conceptions of both grissom and sara as individuals and of what their relationship dynamics with each other are, and those conceptions color the ways they interpret grissom and sara's interactions during the secret dating period.

honestly, very few members of the team view grissom as someone who has much of a social life at all, let alone as someone who might ever be in a long-term romantic relationship.

however, even if they were to picture him dating someone, they would probably either imagine that someone as a more peer-aged woman in an adjacent professional field to his (such as teri miller the forensic anthropologist and/or jane gilbert the president of the gilbert college for the deaf) OR as someone completely "left field" (such as lady heather kessler the dominatrix).

since most of the team views grissom as above all being highly devoted to his work and protective of the lab and its interests, not many of them would ever imagine he would engage in any romantic relationship which might go against lab policy and especially not that he would be so unprofessional as to sleep with his years-younger subordinate.

nick in particular probably recalls how hard grissom came down on him for the whole kristy hopkins debacle in s1 and so would never imagine grissom would himself be such a hypocrite as to endanger the lab and its work for the sake of his own sex life.

in fact, the only person on the team who might possibly even consider grissom might be capable of doing such a thing is catherine, whose personal opinions about the male libido and how sex-motivated people tend to be in general, plus her perceptions of both grissom and sara individually, dispose her to such views.

—however, she just so happens to be of the belief grissom and sara were in a sexual relationship years ago, which culminated in explosive fashion shortly after sara moved to vegas*, and so is not in the right headspace to recognize their current sexual relationship for what it actually is.

* and who knows? she could be right.

she believes they're ancient history—emphasis on the ancient part.

meanwhile, while certain team members (such as warrick and possibly greg) may be more aware of sara's attraction to grissom, most of them nevertheless would see it as being more of a one-sided thing and have no expectation it would ever lead to a real relationship between grissom and sara.

they also might not recognize just how persistent her attraction to grissom is, continuing past her first few years in vegas, especially after she dates hank peddigrew in s2/s3; some of them might erroneously believe though sara starts out "hot for teacher," she eventually gets over her crush on grissom and develops more of an interest in guys her own age (and especially in meathead guys who might be easier for her to boss around).

looking at grissom and sara's dynamic itself at large, they might be similarly confused.

first of all, the fact grissom and sara have always, since day #1, been markedly weird around each other probably serves as some very effective camouflage for their relationship once they become a couple.

as i talk about in this post,

those two geeks have been standing way too close to each other, finishing each other’s sentences, staging uncomfortably intense staring contests, lobbing strange innuendos, having weirdly charged tiffs, being way too openly defensive of each other, etc., etc., since the very first day sara walked through the door to the las vegas crime lab. and maybe initially their teammates wonder if anything ~more~ is going on between them than just “friendship,” but then over time that bizarre intensity between them just becomes a baseline. while particular interactions might temporarily resurrect old suspicions for various team members, nothing to definitively overturn the “it’s just platonic weirdness” assumption ever occurs. so eventually, everyone becomes inured to gsr.

essentially, since they've always acted kind of like they're in a romantic relationship since even before they're actually in a romantic relationship, no one really bats an eye when they do finally become a couple, because their dynamic doesn't really change.

—and especially not because, while there are certainly plenty of instances over the years which might suggest attraction between grissom and sara (mutual or not), depending on if one is inclined to see things that way, there are also just as many instances which might suggest frustration between them or even outright annoyance.

yes, they often act strangely couple-y, but they also often come to loggerheads in highly public ways, enough so as to potentially throw off anyone's sense of their deeper feelings for each other.

for every one time grissom rushes a case for sara (see episode 01x16 "too tough to die") or sara makes a fool of herself grubbing for grissom's approval (see episode 01x17 "face lift"), there is another time when he publicly chews her out over some case (see episode 04x07 "invisible evidence") or when she gets visibly pissed at him for what she views as his mismanagement of her/the team (see episode 04x08 "after the show")—so it's not like all of the available evidence necessarily points toward them being in love.

and especially not when they have both to their teammates' knowledge showed more obvious, uncomplicated romantic interest in and dated other people in the time since sara first moved to vegas (grissom teri miller and potentially heather kessler in s1-s3, and sara hank peddigrew in s2-s3).

so given their preconceived notions of grissom and sara and of grissom and sara's relationship dynamic, it's not necessarily surprising the members of team graveyard don't recognize any evidence they may encounter of grissom and sara's secret romantic relationship with each other for what it is.

their views of the situation as participants are much more limited than are ours as outside observers, after all.

they don't get access to the totality of the information available in the same ways we do. not only do they not get to see the close-up shots or hear the nondiegetic music cues we do as viewers, but they also aren't privy to the overarching story beats. none of them has seen or heard as much as we have overall, nor in the same condensed format.

remember: lots of time elapses within the universe of the show between individual episodes, so whereas to us it might seem like the events of episodes 02x15 "burden of proof" and 02x16 "primum non nocere" take place in fairly short order, for the characters themselves, nearly three full weeks pass between those two cases, which means any connections between grissom's treatment of sara in the earlier episode and his actions toward her throughout the second might be much less obvious to them than they are to us, say.

and, then, of course, there is the fact, in addition to whatever confirmation bias might help to cover over the truth of grissom and sara's relationship, grissom and sara are, within the universe of the show, in the business of actively trying to deceive their teammates regarding what's going on between them.

which brings us to the part of this post where we talk about all of the ridiculous lengths they must go to in order to keep their secret secret.

first of all, while i do believe grissom and sara try to avoid outright lying as much as they possibly can, there are some lies they simply have to tell in order to make this whole complicated situation work.

though they might try to avoid more egregious and forward-facing falsehoods, like pretending to their teammates they're in relationships with people than each other or feigning like they loath each other to conceal the fact they are in love, the fact is, they almost certainly end up not only lying by omission but also occasionally lying more outrightly (especially where hr is concerned).

since neither grissom nor sara is very social outside of work and never has been, they're likely able to take advantage of that fact, when it comes to avoiding coworkers outside of work hours.

however, since during the early seasons of the show, teammates—and especially catherine—do seem to turn up on grissom's doorstep unannounced from time to time, i suspect once grissom and sara move in together, they actually have to take some actively evasive maneuvers.

as i talk about in this post, once they decide to make the whole "living together" thing official, they likely move to a completely new condo somewhere slightly out of the way of the lab. grissom then likely makes a point never to invite anyone over or to advertise where it is he is living.

moreover, he and sara probably choose to move into a condo with no public access, meaning only people who have keys can get into the building past the lobby and all nonresidents must check in with the doorman. they probably give said doorman instructions not to confirm their address to anyone without their permission, citing safety issues related to their work in law enforcement.

meanwhile, sara probably has to keep the lease and continue paying rent on her old apartment even after she stops officially living there and most probably can't sign on the lease of her and grissom's new shared place and/or put her name on any potential mortgage contract there.

maybe she sublets her old place.

she also may or may not rent a po box to receive official mail from the lab, separate from the address she shares with grissom.

she likely also maintains a separate bank account from grissom, even if they somehow split the cost of living otherwise (e.g., buying groceries together, paying for hank's care, divvying up their rent or mortgage payments, etc.), which means she may end up cutting grissom monthly checks to reimburse him for shared expenses.

she probably has to have calls from her home phone number—which, remember, was a usual thing for a person to have in the early 00s—forwarded either to her cell or to a designated alternative landline at her and grissom's shared place (which only she is allowed to answer).

both she and grissom also probably choose to keep their numbers and addresses unlisted from public record.

which is not necessarily an unusual thing for law enforcement officials just generally, but in this case is especially expedient for more than just the usual "we don't want criminals we've helped to prosecute to find out where we live" reasons, as they are also trying to ward off their friends.

coming and going to work, they likely have to make a point to stagger their departure and arrival times and to drive different routes (sara always being sure to come from the direction of her old apartment, even if she has to make a big out-of-the-way loop to keep up that appearance).

if either one of them is on call, they probably also have to drive separately to anyplace they might go out together, in case that person has to leave.

when they answer work phone calls at home, they likely have to signal to each other verbally when they are going to do so, especially if the other person is in a different room when the call comes through, so no one makes the mistake of talking within earshot of where they might be overheard by the other person on the end of the line ("honey, i'm getting a call from nick! don't talk for a second, okay?").

sometimes, when they receive simultaneous calls, one of them might even have to rush outside to answer their phone, so they're not occupying shared space while one of them is talking to catherine and the other person is talking to greg or what have you.

they probably have to avoid areas of town where they know their coworkers live during their off-hours, and when they go on dates, stay away from any of the kind of common places where they might be likely to run into someone they know. they may even occasionally use sara's old police scanner to avoid areas where there might be active crime scenes or heavy police presence so they don't accidentally bump into anyone from the department.

maybe they go as far as getting unscented detergents and cleaning products to avoid having their clothing smell the same.

grissom already doesn't wear cologne (see episode 01x03 "crate n' burial") and probably also uses unscented deodorant, and maybe sara takes to doing so, as well.

they probably have to be meticulous about using a lint brush on their clothes before heading to work so as not to show up covered in hank fur. ditto for checking they don't leave identifiable marks on each other after they've been intimate—so no lipstick on the collar or visible hickeys with noticeable diastema bruise patterns in them.

obviously, only one of them would be able to bring leftovers from home to work for lunch, and they'd have to be careful not to show up with matching tupperware.

as supervisor, grissom couldn't, no matter how badly he might want to, schedule himself and sara to have too many of the same nights off, meaning there would be plenty of times when one or the other of them would end up stuck home alone for hours on end while the other person still had to work.

they also couldn't afford to always go to the same conferences.

they would have to be judicious about using their pto at the same times and have airtight cover stories for if they ever did happen to be absent from work at the same times (which is something we know canonically probably occurs at least once, based on what nick says in episode 07x11 "leaving las vegas").

though doing so in the early 00s would definitely be easier than is the case nowadays, they still probably have to be careful about curating their online presences. they almost certainly use a vpn on one or both of their laptops so they don't show up using the same ip address while doing work-related online tasks. moreover, while neither one of them probably has any social media profiles to speak of (as not only was social media not as ubiquitous from 2005-2007 as it is today but also, again, grissom and sara would personally be unlikely to be on a site like facebook, just given their jobs in law enforcement), they also probably eschew conducting business online, as well, preferring to do things like banking and paying rent in person, so as to avoid accidentally getting their wires crossed with each other on the web.

in theory, someone could maybe trace them both logging onto the same bank account online.

tragically, they probably cannot risk naming each other directly as their ice contacts. however, they may designate some kind of mutual nonwork friend or neighbor as such and then give whoever it is instructions they are to contact the other person, if the other person is not already apprised of the situation ("if anything happens to me, call sara").

for sara in particular, she probably has to be very careful about how she refers to grissom at work, as it would seem she is in the habit of calling him gil or gilbert at home, though doing so is not her norm when they are on the clock (and, indeed, would be an unusual thing coming from any one of grissom's younger subordinates).

of course, grissom also probably has to be equally careful not to call sara by any endearments when they're working, as he seems to be quite liberal in his use of them when they are in private.

he also probably has to be judicious about how he handles sara's evaluations at work, being sure to mix in criticisms with his praise.

sara likely has to resign herself to never seeking any kinds of promotions or negotiating pay raises, either.

still.

even with all of these precautions in place, there are undoubtedly still times when grissom and sara do have some close calls or even slip up in small ways (which thankfully don't tip anybody off but do probably give them both momentary small heart attacks).

—which is why i say, ultimately, they also need just some good, old-fashioned luck to get away with their whole secret dating arrangement for as long as they do.

try as they may to use all of their genius-level intellect to outsmart their teammates, the fact is, there's no way they're able to account for everything, so at the end of the day, they just have to hold their breaths, hope for the best, and see how much they can get away with before the jig eventually comes up.

turns out, they manage to get away with quite a lot for quite some time.

—at least until natalie davis, with her outsider's perspective, is able to recognize the proverbial gorilla on the court for what it is.

anyway.

i've rambled a lot now.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[atalana]

okay im sorry but did you seriously just say "'dont let your disability stop you' only applies to things like becoming a master artist!!!" what. in what world is becoming a fucking master artist easier to do than walking. in what world is that not something that a disability can prevent. what kind of fucking logic are you even operating on. lol. lmao

okay you have waaaaaay misinterpreted my words on quite an old post but i do remember the post in question so on the miniscule chance you're asking in good faith let's clarify what i meant

as a disabled person, and an artist, of course your disability can prevent you from going about things in a conventional way. there are some people who will never be able to hold a paintbrush, for example. hell, i consider myself quite lucky that im able to get close to conventional art methods, but i still have to reckon with my dyspraxia, which means im never gonna make a speed paint bc people don't need to know it takes me three times as long just to make a smooth line, or my fibromyalgia, which means i can't sit upright in a chair for more than about two hours without needing to lie down and/or causing me serious pain

but the distinction i was trying to make is that becoming a master artist is not a physical skill. art is inherent to all human beings, and we work with what we've got. frida kahlo painted from her bed. people who are lacking limbs have made art with their feet or their mouths, people lacking motor skills have made art from typewriters, or computers, or made paintings that took advantage of their disabilities rather than being weakened by them

if your dream in life is to become an artist, then you will find a way. and i know it can be despairing, because i'm an actor, it's the only thing in the world i feel like i was born to do. and when i got the fibromyalgia (and was also diagnosed with endometriosis around the same time), i thought i'd never get to where i am because i didn't think i'd have the energy for the kind of rehearsal schedule and flat out show week a show demands. hell i quit my first agency when i was 19 because i couldn't handle the audition notices knowing i wouldn't be able to manage the job if i got it. but i adapted. and i found things that work for me. and i did an entire theatre degree followed by a successful fringe season, and while i may not move as quickly as others in this field, im going to keep going, and i'm going to do more

that is what the phrase "don't let your disability stop you" should be used for. for when you know in your heart that this is the only thing you were put on this world to do, but you feel like it's impossible because you can't do it the way other people do it. what you've got to learn for yourself is that it doesn't matter how other people do it. do it how you can do it. because if this is what you were meant to do, you might as well try

however, what i was criticising when i said that, is that abled people have got a hold of that phrase, and are using it to deny peoples disabilities. if someone can't walk, saying "don't let your disability stop you" is not going to magically make them walk, it's just going to make them feel bad about letting their disability stop them. which is stupid, because disabilities do stop you, that's why they're called disabilities. and pretending they don't exist just hurts disabled people. in either situation, i'm encouraging people to work with what they've got, rather than trying to force what doesn't work to work, which is how one learns to live in this world with a disability (or several)

abled people don't want us to work with what we've got, they want us to do it how they do it, even if it causes us serious pain or injury, or even if we're straight up physically unable to do the thing they want us to do. and those are situations in which i want abled people to shut the fuck up, and in which i want disabled people to know it's okay to go at their own pace, and to do it in a way that doesn't hurt, even if it seems bizarre and backwards to the people around them

also for some people art is easier than walking. we all live in a world governed by our own limits, and trying to fit a cookie cutter mold helps no one

[angelmichelangelo]

Just learned about the human au fic u have planned and I am SO excited over it!!! 🩵 Mikey deserves all the gummy worms 😤 do u have any more brain worms you’d like to share about it?

oh i'm super excited that people are excited about this! so thank you!! :D

and he does doesn't he? :( i haven't got a whole lot written for this fic just yet, it's kind of just. there. in my brain. i just need to write it lol

but a little more info about it for you! so leo, raph, don and mike are all brothers that lived with their mom... who. has trouble looking after them. just very neglectful. at first i was gonna link their mother to an actual tmnt character but i didn't wanna do tang shen dirty like that so she's just oc really. she's not in it much because after bouncing around foster homes and group homes, the brothers kinda just, strike out on their own, laying low until leo turns 18 so he can properly take care of them :)

casey is raph's slightly older friend. in this au i imagine they met whilst in a group home, getting into trouble together, casey ends up going back into his dad's care (boo) and so after the boys have 'run away' casey offers them a place to stay.

april is in here too! her mom is a foster parent, and at one point, very briefly, she was caring for donnie. in the au, whilst for the most part they've managed to stick together, unfortunately like most cases with kids in foster care, there's been instances where the boys have been split apart (and in this fic itself, where they find themselves separated again...) but we love april and april's mom <3 she doesn't know they're homeless of course otherwise she'd take them in in a heartbeat

murikami is in this fic because i feel like we don't see him often enough in tmnt lol. maybe leo gets a job at his shop or something im not too sure yet but i wanna link murikami to splinter in this fic. which, by the way, splinter isn't their dad in this. again, like i said before, the boys don't have any 'character' parents. they're just some people. we don't need to worry about them lol

but that being said, the boys are blasian in this. i mean, that's pretty much canon at this point anyway but yeah. i have some art i did a while back that i kinda based this whole au off but it's unfinished (like most of my projects lmao) so yeah!

i can't decide whether to make leatherhead a social worker or another foster parent the boys come across. either way i want him and mikey to have a good relationship. same with slash. maybe a welfare officer or something? the whole gangs here lol

BUT YEAH honestly talking more about this au makes me more excited to write it and gives me more inspo for it, so your enthusiasm is super duper appreciated!! thank you!! *throws gummy worms at you nicely* THANKS !!

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Brick!! Saw you wanted asks again😂

I don't have much of an idea, but you mentioned human workers, like behind the scene.

Sooooooo

Maybe once the humans of the tiny-human pairs are like besties. They try to get like a part time job at the park? To hang out more, not that anything stopped them before, i think you said they sneak in to steam them sometimes

Maybe the motivation comes from either customers or staff being mean to their respective tiny.

Other idea was mostly background stuff, the park is the only one of its kind? How long has it been open? What were the initial areas. They couldn't have had that much money to begin with unless the boss is some weird millionaire😂

Once its successful, someone else is gonna steal the idea thou.... Hmmm wonder how that would turn out🤨

Hope all is well! Im back at the studies again😝

SDHFSDSJ yeah yeah my brain is a desert. creative brain is just taking a nice nap rn </3

yOO i have actually thought about that! i'm thinking aimsey! he seems like a good addition to be working there, honestly, also they're the first person to pop into my mind other than wilbur dream or sap,,,

aimsey first got a part-time while he was still in school, and after he finished it became a full-time since xey really liked it (surprisingly)

and YES the humans are DEFINITELY snuck in, i'm still tryna work out HOW though. definitely the tiny workers (sam & tubbo specifically) disable the security cameras but that can only work for so long. i can totally see tommy just making a hole in the ground that acts as a tunnel 😭 maybe they give wil a uniform or smth to blend in. IDK. but they for sure sneak in FDJFDSDJ

yeee the park is the only one as of right now! there've been some other pop-up things but they usually get shut down for some reason FJDSJ (maybe poor management uHHHH idk. au logic.)

it's opening date i am VERY conflicted about. on one hand, i could have it be like disney where it's been around for 50+ years, OR have it only recently open. i really have absolutely no idea LMAO

but for convenience let's say it's been around for like. the grand opening of the PARK was about 30 years prior to rn. i can edit that later afsdjgj

WELL, going off the origins of the park, mini-golf. it was a mini-golf course, and it spread to an on-site like trailer-sized escape room, and after that it the blueprints of an actual theme park was put into consideration. so those two attractions thrived for about 15 years n then it closed down for a bit, and reopened after the park opened. and ofc it wasn't as big as it is now but it still managed to get extremely popular. so there was money to start with since boss wasn't the original owner. maybe he was a close relative that uHHHH idk got the rights to it. somehow. the only living relative of a sad, semi-rich uncle. LMAO

anyway boss inherited it and started the park blah blah yeah so he was there for a while and just kinda corrupted it gradually,,,,,

YESSS who will steal it?? maybe like disney there could be like different locations. i'mma say no to that just cause idk but there are DEFINITELY people who get inspired and IMMEDIATELY shut down by the park cause boss is afraid of competition and extremely manipulative with his words :3c

all is good, thank you!!!

hope you're doing good asw and GAHH i hope your studies go well! have some bricks of motivation :D 🧱🧱🧱🧱

[ihavenothingtodo10220]

bruh thats literally how i feel about so many hobbies and interests yes we have to have some type of talent to make it in this world but i think the way its pushed on society from a young age means its less relstsble for people who are now older. with all these younger groups what am i supposed to be "attached" to the members about yes some of them are going to be attractive but im 30 this year. music groups, brand items, even classes for learning new skills have become so out of touch with reality it seems to forget theres a bunch of people who cannot access them for varying reasons. take ticket prices for example or merch for anyone to enjoy kpop or any music group it is investment to the extreme.

where im from if i were to want to see ateez for example, id have to travel 4 hours by train to london which cost over £100, book a ticket that cost £300/400 bc you dont want the crappy seats then you need hotel, travel fees to get to arena, then youll want merch and you still need money to get back home. so im sorry to any new group even if theyre decent but us older music fans are going to get left behind eventually as most things are about gen alpha or whatever the fuck theyre calling the new gens.

so much stuff really isnt worth it unless you can afford it :/. thats y less is more, seventeen for example way too many members how they all going to get paid if they converts costing half someones wages?

i get these kids need an income of some kind and they have talent ngl but when we gonna say enough is enough. i even looked at the likes of greenday and maneskin but im not forking out that much to go enjoy some music. just listen to it for free on youtube or watch their concert from someone elses videos. its practically the same type of experience u just arent there physically at the concert lmfao. same with buying items do we really gotta have all the latest junk bc its relevant? no. if i could barely manage the 00s without uggs i can do without a stanley mug or lululemon bum bag.

Honestly, exactly. And even in my generation (Gen Z), most of the people I know don't really have those things or can participate in them. Like, concert tickets are so fucking expensive, and I get it, the artists are in high demand and they need to staff the stadiums and fly them out and all that shit. But it's just that most people can't afford them nowadays. However, I can admit I do know OF people who could fly from Cali to New York just for an idol's concert. And with Seventeen, most of their money comes from music sales I believe, and there are other factors contributing a lot to their pay. Honestly, I agree with you. The idols have to make income, because again, at the end of the day it's their job, and I'm sure a lot of people who like going to concerts can afford it. That's their prerogative.

But like you said, hobbies are getting so expensive nowadays. Like there are people spending thousands just because they want to win a fan call with an idol, or people spending thousands on albums just to get photocards. Of course, those things aren't exactly the norm, and most people don't do that, but it's still just wild.

[damnineedabreak]

I can do anything, except manage my feelings.

Last night I had a dream about this guy. In my dream we were so close to getting laid, but it just could never happen. I woke up so frustrated and wanted to have sex with him. The thing is, whenever I can't have something, that's when I want it the most. And I feel so cliché and daddy issues girly whenever I feel like this but I'm serious, it's like an obsession.

It turns in to a game for me, my mind goes into analyzing and figuring out how to get what I want.

Simple things have always been so hard for me. Of course, if you ask a therapist, or if you ask myself (im obsessed with self improvement and introspection), it would be clear. As simple as math: You grow up in a chaotic place, chaos is what you know. Not too complicated, until it becomes personal. When the psychologic theory moves from a theory and goes in to a single person individual experience, then it's complicated as fuck.

But this is not the time to speak about how chaos creates chaos. Sad part is im not even chaotic. I'm a perfect A+ adult. I have a job, I own a place, I own a car, I cuddle with my dogs, I (sometimes) cook, I exercise, I meditate, I read, I study, I visit my family, and on and on and on...

I'm also convinced I'm so fucked up in the head I'm gonna end up killing myself one day.

This is a thought that scared me before, I felt I was getting darker and darker that I got scared I might actually want to die.

Some days I want it, some days I don't. But it only takes one day to do it so doesn't make much of a difference.

The fucked up in the head thing is all about the human simplicities of life. That's what makes me want to die.

What the fuck do you mean THIS is where people find joy.

I remember the first thing I thought was what made life worth living was... LOVE. And don't get me wrong I actually believe in love, just not the way everyone pretends it is.

Nowadays I think nothing actually matters. No matter what you chase, it doesn't matter. And im pretty convinced about this, I think this thought and the embracing of it in my head made me severely depressed.

The way I see life manageable is to see it as a game. Not in a "life is a game don't stress" kind of game but in a "life is a fucking game how do I play my cards and how do I get what I want" kind of game.

That's where manifestation comes along, and the law of assumption and all this new age things that want to convince me that thinking creates.

How do I manifest the life I want? How do I live an effortless life?

Junior says that I'm doomed because it seems that, if you weren't born a nepo baby, you have to do things and put an effort and believe in goals and dreams and sacrifice.

I say fuck that bullshit. I say put in on your mind, believe it, trust it and smoke a joint while you wait for what you want to come.

Please don't take this as an advice since I'm doing an experiment. Subject is myself, object is my own life.

[raksh-writes]

<beware, self reflection post incoming>

So. This year has been a tough one.

Feels like it has been tougher than all of those before, ngl, but it's hard to tell how much of it is skeved memory and how much just how strong those feelings are today. But it has been an awful year -- the first half was kind of alright, but the second? Yeah, everything went downhill there.

I slid into one of the worst depression holes ever. I quit my job two months ago, because it has been contributing strongly to that, but remained unemployed and stressed out of my mind because of that and feeling completely listless since. Unmoored. With no purpose whatsoever. It's... not a good place to be. On top of that, I got real sick with covid this week and barely started feeling somewhat better today. Guess it's a suficiently shitty end to an awful year, huh? What hurts, too, is the heart breaking writer's block I got in that second half of the year too.

I wrote barely anything this year, posted even less. Got very disconnected from that part of myself that carried me through the rough times of the previous years -- and maybe that's why it feels worse than ever now, when I had at least that joy back then but it feels like it's been taken from me. It's... rough.

I've always been in the middle of something before too. Always going back to classes, to uni, got a job last year, but now? Well...

I did start taking steps to crawl back to life. Trying to at least. Baby steps.

So, I wanna make a list of those baby steps. The ones Ive already started taking, the ones Im gonna soon, the ones I wanna try to make. Make a path out of them, maybe. So:

Im back to therapy, that's good. Working through new and old stuff, it's definitely helping, but... there's a lot more to work through than I imagined. It's okay, though. I can already tell some of it helped, it's been a good helping hand in digging myself out of this hole - or at least starting to dig myself out.

Im also starting an internship at the job office on monday (hopefully most of my symptoms are gonna be gone by then 🤞). It's a 6 months one, not as well paid as a full job, of course, but it's experience, it's a start, and I can always search for smth different in the meantime. And it's stability a dearly need.

I want to go back to studying too. I found I miss it a lot, having that goal, broadening my mind, etc. I wanna sign for some post-diploma library studies classes in the city where I intern, near where I live. It might not open up, but if it doesn’t, I think I'll try going back for actual Masters. It's something Im actually sort of looking forward too, even if it makes me a lil' anxious.

Been idly thinking about maybe going back to the city. Trying to live on my own again. Study, find a job to pay for it. Might not be quite possible, though, with prices of pretty much everything going up to 3x what they were and still going up. It's an idea for the later part of the year, though, if Id actually try going for it.

Maybe the most obvious one -- I want to write again. And post, too. I miss interacting with readers. Seeing that someone Gets it. That it brings people joy. I miss it a lot. These last months, even if I managed to write a little, I didn't even had the drive to post. No drive for anything, really. Feels like death to a creative soul 😔 So I want to write. And I want to share it. Im still thinking of my Beauty and the Beast Voiles AU -- I have a couple chapters of it done, maybe I could start posting and see where it goes, even if I dont manage to finish it? Then I got obsessed with VegasPete, an amazing ship I recommend to all that like Voiles or just enemies to lovers! I even managed to write some lil bits of them, some I Could post even, but I can’t get myself to... maybe it's a goal for the near future. To break through that block and engage with new fandom beyond just reading and commenting, but trying to contribute some of my own. It's scary, but it might do me good? It'd be nice..

I want to try and do more typesetting this year too, and properly, since Ive been thinking I could maybe do it part time in the future, do a project here and there, but for that I'd have to polish up my skills. Maybe do some smaller projects, that wont take me months to finish like the fics I did lately.

Have my eyes peeled for opportunities and have the courage to reach for them. I want to do library studies and Id love to work in a library one day, but its hard to get into one, so I gotta have my eyes open for any possibility. Or working in a book store, Id love that too. Anything with books, tbh. So, be on the look out. And work on having the courage to reach for it and battling down my anxiety.

Go out and meet with friends I haven't seen in a long time. I think Ive isolated myself a bit too much this year and it definitely hasn’t helped. So I need to try more to get out of the easy, lazy way and go out to meet people.

And that's it, for now, I think. Goals for the new year? Maybe, but being in the place I am, baby steps feel better. Im sure Im not the only one that had an awful year and if you're reading this, feeling the same, I see you. Can’t promise it's gonna get better, but we gotta have hope and try taking those baby steps towards making it better. So, Im not gonna go into elaborate wishes, Im just gonna be simple.

I wish you all good health, because it's so important and yet we don’t appreciate it enough, and also wish all of us courage, especially those struggling. To reach for what we want. To reach for what we fear. To get out of our comfort zones, one baby step at a time. To put ourselves out there. To win over our anxieties. To live.

Im slowly, very slowly, trying to take those baby steps. To crawl back to life. It's hard. And slow. But I hope it's gonna be worth it. It's gotta be better than the misery of last months. So, that's what I hope for in the next year. Taking the baby steps to a better future.

Happy New Year, everyone, and I hope y'all have a lovely last day of 2022 💗

[jelly-as-in-grape-concord]

its kinda long and ramble-y so uh:

Ok so my OC universe (ig thats what im gonna call it?) can be split up into two stories: Cannibalistic Pigeons and The Gloam. This whole thing takes place in both a town and it's surrounding forests. (don't have a name for either of these places yet so they'll just be referred to as "the town" and "the forest" (also a lot of this stuff is still in progress of like being fixed or changed or whateva)

the town itself largely goes unnoticed and gains little attention from the outside. It has nothing appealing or attractive about it, no specialized industry or trade, no tourism, nothing. the only thing that's worth noting is that it has an unusually high amount of people that go missing every year, and none of those cases are ever solved. There's never a sign of any kind of struggle, it's like these people vanish into thin air. this sorta thing has beeen going on for like ever too, so it becomes more of a fact about living there: just accept that you will havve a very high case of dissapearing and never being found again.

Cannibalistic Pigeons is sorta a prequel to The Gloam (and also less developed story-wise). It centers around a high-school girl named Paloma, who moves into the town with her family. she generally self-isolates and has pretty much no desire to get to know anyone. However, she's assigned into a group project and makes friends with another girl (who is also yet to have a name).

the general idea after this is that Paloma is haunted by insects, especially spiders. She starts to see them pop up practically everywhere until [something happens] and she's convinced her group project partner was going to die. i don't know how to get to any of these points so like *vaguely gestures* things happen and Paloma eventually runs into the surrounding forest, while being overtaken by spiders, and she's never seen again.

like I said, alot to be worked on story-wise and this might change over time. the Gloam is a little more developed.

The Gloam is about three people: Sylvia, Isaac, and Sasha.

Sylvia and Isaac are a very happy married couple. they love each other so much its disgusting and beautiful. Sasha is their long-time friend who lives pretty much right next door to them. a bunch of people in their late 30's to early 40's living their best lives.

one day, Isaac becomes one of those people who vanish into thin air, leaving behind his truck on the side of the road, right next to forest. sylvia is obviously devasted by this news and.

ok so people in the town are generally aware of the whole "too many people go missing in this town" thing so there's generally like curfews and rules about buddy systems and all that. but as time goes on, people take it less and less seriously. because you never think it's gonna happen to you until it *Does* and also becuase they have no solid law enforcement in place aside from like a few cops and maybe one detective and no one cares about this town so.

but then! only a week later! hes back somehow! what!!! This definetely gets attention because wow! one person found out of like thousands! The police are doing a fantastic job!

So yeah, he comes home and all is well until it isn't.

Sylvia feels as though Isaac was growing more and more distant. He started working more, kept making excuses to go out, and generally kept avoiding her. When she asks Sasha about this, she says that Isaac hadn't been responding to her messages or calls, and when he did, he usually gave pretty short or vague answers. Over the course of half a year, isaac stops talking to sasha altogether and he only ever sees sylvia at dinner maybe sometimes.

By the seventh month, Sylvia is kinda frustrated and incredibly miserable by all of this. and worst of all, she thinks that Isaac's started getting into something shady (though she's not really sure what exactly). she tries to stage some kinda intervention, but he always manages to avoid her. after all this, she decides to look back at old photographs from childhood, wedding, etc etc.

However, she finds that Isaac's face was gone from all of them. (as in a bunch of bugs ate through them). she flips through a crap ton of them until she finally finds one that hadnt been destroyed. it's here that she noticed that Isaac's looked a little off here. did he always look this tired? i didn't think he was this short.

this sorta plants a seed in her mind and so she makes him a bowl of his least favorite meal. "isaac" eats every last grain of it. she keeps doing this sort of thing whered she'd give him or show him things she knows isaac for liking or disliking. everytime, he acted more and more out of character.

when she finally confronts him, "isaac" is like "oh crap well it sucks that you found out im secretly a shapeshifter that slithered out of the surrounding forests. anyways im gonna like eat your entire face if thats chill" and ofc this is not chill so she bashes its face in with her cane.

she calls sasha sobbing and Sasha "Ride or Die" Ramirez was like "i got u" and went to go bury it in said forest. except. uh oh! it can't die! and it slithers away into the forest.

sylvia is like "man i gotta kill this thing for good" and while sasha was more hesitant about it, she ultimately goes because sylvia was very determined to get rid of it and find out what it did to Real Isaac.

if this gets at least one note i will explain the entire lore of my OCs

[delllamortes]

so i might actually get the job i applied for last week, i got an email saying they’d like to move forward with my application and that i needed to fill out an assessment thing so that’s cool

[magniloquent-raven]

bro @metalheadcowboy the tags u left on this post 💕😭💕 fr dude if u ever got anymore 1am brainrot u need to offload somewhere my inbox is always open, i love getting random hcs

and u got me thinkin more about eddie being max's trans yoda ldfkgjlk so here's a lil thought i had that got out of hand:

susan’s always had a thing about max’s hair. never letting hair dressers take too much off, insisting on fussing over it whenever max needed to dress up for something, trying to bond over being redheads, because she and max never had much in common besides that. etc.

and it’s fine. it’s whatever. mostly. except…once max starts really thinking about the Gender thing, playing around with the idea of pronouns and buying sports bras that are two sizes too small, realizing how much more comfortable he can be…it just highlights how much the little things can hurt. 

it’s after susan has a pretty good day at work, after she lays off the booze for the evening, after she actually spends some time with max for the first time in months, after she says one too many little things that hurt just a little too much, stroking max’s hair while they watch a movie together. 

that max cuts all his hair off. badly. in the bathroom, alone in the middle of the night. and…kind of hates it. it kind of makes everything worse. 

and he shows up at eddie’s front door in tears. 

alone it felt like an insurmountable failure, like one haircut just disproved years of internal struggle, like the whole fucking world was going to fall apart at the seams because one thing didn’t feel the way it should’ve. but standing in eddie’s living room, haltingly explaining what happened while eddie waits patiently, his expression never shifting from the soft, sympathetic understanding that dawned on his face the second he opened the door, well. the whole thing starts to shrink into something more manageable. 

it keeps shrinking. til suddenly it feels like a stupid thing to freak out about. 

but eddie just nods. “yeah, i did the same thing in middle school. it, uh…” he scrunches his nose. “not a good look on me. i had a lumpy head.” 

that gets a tiny huff of a laugh in response. 

eddie fixes max’s hair as best he can, and when he’s done its still shaggy and uneven, but less of a hack job. he apologizes for not really knowing what he’s doing (he’s trimmed his own hair before but it’s different when it’s someone else’s) but max just tugs on one of the longer bits, eyebrows pinched and thoughtful. 

“i look like my brother.” max takes a big rattling breath. “when, uh. we first met. he’d just started growing out his hair.”

remembering still hurts, but this…it’s something else. 

“you gonna do that too, or do you like it like this?”

he’s so casual about it. because of course it doesn’t matter. it’s not a big deal. the ease of it is comforting. the simple reminder that, yeah, he can do whatever the hell he wants. look however he wants. susan will have words, she’ll have opinions, but none of them will matter. 

max shrugs. “think i might, yeah.”

~~tag list ppl hello im still here 😅 @growup-thatbeautiful @spreckle ~~

[safety-pin-punk]

im curious, how does being punk affect your feeling of religion? are you still a practicing catholic/go to church?

Hahahahahaha oh boy, buckle in cause this is gonna be a fun ride. I’ll put a cut cause this is gonna be long simply due to the amount of context that is needed to understand how I’ve managed to mash these two things together in my life. I hope this answers your question anon! (And thank you for asking nicely, that usually isn’t the reaction I get).

So, for reference, I am Catholic born and raised. My mom is Catholic, my dad is only recently exploring being religious. My brother has remained a Catholic good boy throughout his life, my sister has denounced religion. I’m somewhere between them. I don’t go to church often, but I still feel at home there when I do (most of the time). So technically, I’m not a ‘Practicing Catholic’ because of that, but I’m following my faith to the best of my ability (explained below).

I 100% believe there is a god, and because of that my faith has had some rough intersections with other parts of my life, such as being punk, the communities Im a part of, and being heavily involved in STEM. And those are things that took me years to figure out for myself. When just looking at being punk though, I think where it really clicked that punk wasn’t against my religion, but actually supports it, was in my freshman year of college. Like I’ve said before, I go to a Protestant school so every class has to somehow have at least one connection to religion (as a chemistry major this can get extremely annoying). But that year, I had a history class as a gen ed, Western Civ to 1450, and an absolutely kick ass professor to go with it. 

This class was the game changer for 18 year old me (oh my god that was 5 years ago). We spent a lot of time in this class talking about religions of ancient civilizations, and of course we talked about Christianity. And this man went absolutely feral. He was the man that introduced me to the concept of ‘Jesus was a punk’. And when you ignore all the random bull shit that comes out of people’s mouths at church and just look at the bible... yeah, he was right. Jesus flipped tables, he ate with societal outcasts like prostitutes and the homeless, and god did he hate the Roman government that controlled so much of the world at that time. 

And I think that’s when I really felt free to embrace the punk culture. The one thing that was holding me back was gone. I also later learned that professor had a metal band (I’m now going to have to try to find his youtube again lol - its been years). 

But yeah, being punk and religious in 2022 is hard. Its hard because the people who claim to be Christians are ignorant, refuse to learn, don’t know the context of the book they call holy, refuse to understand where Christianity stems from and our roots in Judaism, and keep trying to interpret the bible in a modern world (the bible can’t tell you shit about the evils of the internet man). I don’t particularly like going to church because I often find that its a snake pit disguised as a hospital. Though, that’s nothing new, if you ever take the time to read Romans (my favorite part of the bible), its full of Paul just absolutely loosing his ever loving shit because of how corrupt the churches are. 

So instead of going to church once every seven days and conforming to the rest of the vipers there, I try to live my life by Jesus’ standards for interacting with others. Be kind and forgiving, try to understand other points of view, don’t discriminate based on job, color, socioeconomic status, gender, how many kids, ect. Moral of the story, in my opinion, to be a good Christian, you need to treat people as people, and welcome them with open arms. You need to give back to your community. You need to fight for a better world. You need to push back against oppressive and authoritarian governments. And those are all punk values as well.