#im gonna make more of these while i tackle my creative block

[uniformbravo]

fffffFuck

im rly inspired to work on webcomic stuff i wanna make a webcomic!! im ready!!! i want to dive into a story and experiment and learn how to best do things as i go i wanna see that Improvement as i get a feel for what the story should be i wanna be a part of the process so bad im ready aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

my Big Project, the one i talked about a lot, right; i kind of put it aside for a while but lately i’ve just kind of been in the Mood??? i honestly lost interest for a while kinda, not in the sense that i dropped it entirely, but i was hitting a lot of road blocks and pretty much ended up inadvertently taking a break from it, and in the mean time i watched a lot of shit and i think it was good for me?

because i feel like if i spend too long going hard on one thing i burn out really easily and everything starts to become more forced than passion-driven, and passion is what i want for this shit bc if im not enjoying it then why the hell am i even doing this right

so when i take a break and allow myself to dive into some show/comic/etc that can make me Feel The Good Shit, it inspires me!! it makes me want to create something that i can be equally as passionate about (and hopefully inspire other people too!) and like, it used to be such a frustrating feeling because i was filled with so much Energy and Passion that i had absolutely no idea what to do with, it would just kind of crackle and burn inside like i was going to explode any minute and i had nowhere to direct it and it was super unsatisfying but now!!! 

now i have something to pour all that creative energy into! now whenever i get super inspired by something i start thinking about this project and how i can take the creative influence from the show/comic/whatever and pour it into my own story and it finally feels like i have purpose, in a sense? like, i might not be getting any actual, tangible Ideas to apply to my plot or whatever, but i can take those Feelings and Emotions and think of them within the context of my world, and that can then turn into tangible ideas and idk it’s just really good!!! it’s Good to finally have something to pour this overwhelming inspiration into, and i guess i can only hope that what eventually comes out of all of this can do all of these thoughts and feelings proper justice

right now i feel like i have a lot of vague ideas of what i want the story to be like in general? i don’t mean plot-wise or even in terms of worldbuilding, i just mean like. the technical kind of storytelling elements, if that makes sense? it’s like, i’m writing down all these notes on what i observe to be Good Storytelling and Characterization in the things i like so that maybe i can successfully apply them to my own story down the line, and i guess that’s where some of my current worries stem from? 

bc i want to make this big, great Thing that employs all these devices im compiling but the question is whether i’ll be able to actually Do it or if it’ll come out as this big messy Attempt, u know? and it doesn’t help that this is my first Big Project like this, like i’ve never made a comic before, first of all, like that’s the. the Big One (although i am planning to do smaller comic projects first to experiment and figure things out so that maybe i can become familiar with the process before tackling something so huge that i want to be so good)

basically my plan is to.... plan. like, super plan. Plan Everything. that’s my strategy at this point, like. the taking notes on things i like, the practice comics beforehand, all of it is planning in order to help make this project the best that it can be, and i guess my main worry is that despite all the work im putting into this, it still won’t hit the mark

like, im a big perfectionist when it comes to things i care about, and i really care about this project. i really want to make this a good thing. something i’ll probably/definitely have to accept is that it’s not gonna be perfect; parts of it will be messy, parts of it won’t flow like i imagined, parts of it will be really awkward and that’s fine

idk man i mean it’s kind of bizarre to be considering all of this stuff right now when the whole project is still in such an early, vague, misshapen stage like for real i barely know anything abt these characters except that they will probably exist, maybe, and i have a hundred million shifting ideas that all conflict with each other and just literally overall this story is absolutely nothing yet, i still have so much fucking work to do it’s overwhelming

but man

seeing how far other projects have come since their beginnings is really inspiring 

like

it’s ok

it doesn’t all have to be done right now, these things take time (especially if ur a team of one (1), practically speaking) 

i like to think that years down the line, as i continue to work on this project, i’ll look back at myself now and think, “dang, i really had no idea what i was doing and i felt intimidated and overwhelmed and vastly under-equipped, but i’m glad that i kept going despite all of that to get to where i am today, where i definitely have everything figured out probably i mean hopefully like @ future me i’m really trusting you w/ this please”

i mean, idk. i want to make my future self proud? i want to give myself something to be proud of. 

that’s a good goal, i think