#im gonna have to re-write a lot of misato's lore and hcs

[nobuverse]

Misato Headcanon: The Mother,  Matsui Jun. ( Part 1 )

Jun is, in the larger scheme of things, an unremarkable figure in the town of Okaki. She is, in every way, what one could expect out of a woman in her family. As a town which stubbornly holds onto the idea of arranged marriages for the sake of furthering alliances between businesses rather than what were once kingdoms. 

She did everything that was expected of her as a pretty, graceful and obedient girl. She tried desperately to be accepted and loved by a husband that saw her as little else than a mere tool, somehow believing that she could earn the affection she’d been promised by being the perfect wife. But nothing she seemed to do was worthy of heartfelt praise - not even when she proved her creative intelligence by helping to redesign so many of the Sanada Work’s ‘products’ to a Japanese audience. 

In trying to make sense of what she was doing wrong, she began to convince herself that producing a proper heir to the business would be what she needed to do in order to prove useful enough to him for him to love her.

But things went wrong. Instead of producing a happy, healthy child on her expected date, she went into preterm labor almost a month before she was due. Though not a death sentence for the child on its own, the nature of her complications were rather extreme. She suffered heavy blood loss which could not be controlled - leading to an emergency hysterectomy , thereby preventing her from having any more children in the future.

It was from that day that the resentment started to grow for her own child, who had shattered her dreams, her vision of the perfect child. She felt detached as she watched her from the incubator, the representation of her own failure as a mother.

The situation would only get worse with the coming years as well, as she found Misato’s ‘rebellious’ and ‘ungrateful’ attitude to be an insult to everything she had dutifully endured up to that point. Who was this ungrateful brat to complain? To want something beyond what she already had when she lived in more riches than most people would ever seen in their lifetimes? Any success that Misato met by going against tradition was bitter to witness, Jun feeling that a person such as this should not be able to succeed. 

As she got older, Misato came to learn it was best completely ignoring this biological mother of hers, who drowned her hate and self resentment in wine and sake. A broken woman who never dared to dream for herself. An envious stranger she was forced to share a home with.