#im drowning in stray kids

[lovscb97]

synopsis: nerd!chan headcannons. that’s it. that’s the tweet.

tags: nerd!chan x cheerleader!fem!reader, fluff, meet cute, nerd!chan being in love, mentions of alcohol and drinking, kissing, nerd!chan being an inexperienced cutie, etc

wc: 1.48k

add. notes: while you guys wait for nerd!chan pt. 2 as i need to complete writing it and cannot really Do that w/ my current busy schedule (im nearing the end of first sem so i have lots of assignments #sad), i thought i’d treat u guys to some headcannons about him in the nerd!chan universe :3 enjoy!

part 1 / part 2 / drabble #1

. . . 

#one. meeting you for the first time

chan has always been a shy kid. he doesn’t stray from his introverted bubble of close friends that he’s either grown up with or gotten to know through extra-curriculars, nor does he ever participate in social activities like parties the way most people in his university do. it’s his firm belief that he has no means to engage in stuff that will, in his words, lower his intelligence and distract him from his studies. he’s perfectly content remaining the way he is; a social outcast (according to changbin at least), because at the least in that sense he’s gaining something from not wallowing in alcohol every other night.

you, on the other hand, are actively always taking part in gatherings as such, having fun with your cheer girls and drinking to drown out the bitter reality of life (although you’d never admit that out loud). it’s your firm belief that college is for letting loose and having fun before entering the corporate world, and what better way to do that than to grind against strangers and throw away all your responsibilities for a night (or ten)? you don’t have too much regard for your studies, but you do have a strong policy on your social life.

it’s because of these reasons that in terms of both hierarchy and hobbies, you and chan couldn’t be any more different. you’re two sides of two separate coins, and if you were to swap lifestyles, you’re sure neither of your friends would recognise you both. what he likes, you loathe, and what you like, he loathes. so why did you do mesh so well? why did you two even begin this charade? 

and how in the everloving fuck did chan even get to know you in the first place? 

it all started before the first day of the first semester. orientation was about to finish right around the corner, and everyone was obviously buzzing with excitement on commencing their first term in university. one guy made the mistake of mentioning throwing a party at some nearby club, and it quickly spread to the entire group of first year students. naturally, it spread to you and your friend group, and it also just happened to spread to the small circle of chan’s best friends, who dragged his ass to the party the day of despite his incessant complaining that he wanted nothing to do with what was happening.

that was, until he saw you.

you’d had one too many shots to drink, stumbling into the balcony after having been separated from your friends and coincidentally landing up where chan just so happened to be admiring the scenery. he’d caught you in his arms as you lost your footing, heart racing and ears reddening at the sound of your drunk giggles. “i bet you’re a ladies man.” you’d teased him, raising a finger to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, which only made him stutter even more. 

your friends eventually did come to find you and take you back with them, barely even batting an eye at chan who tried to make sure you were being cared for properly as his pleas and tips on handling a hangover the next day fell upon deaf ears. and when jisung and changbin came up to find him, he was completely out of it, stuck in a daze as he repeated all the random information about yourself that you’d rambled to him in his head. he’d pressed a single hand to his chest whilst ignoring his friend’s questions about what the hell he was doing, instead focusing on the feeling the rapid rhythmic beating of his heart under his palm.

it was that night, that chan's love for the moon transcended to his love for you.

#two. kissing you for the first time

chan is just as much of a nerd as they come in every cliche. 

when he met you, when he got to know you, and when he first began whatever twisted relationship he currently has with you, he was completely inexperienced. he knew next to nothing about pleasing a girl that wasn’t acquired from his knowledge of scouring the internet, and he also knew next to nothing about the world of pleasure he was in for. when you’d first leaned in to initiate a kiss, he’d merely pushed you away gently, gasping over his words as he tried to explain to you how new this was all to him.

but you didn’t mind. you didn’t mind that he’d never even gotten close to holding a girl’s hand unless he counted his elementary school crush, and you didn’t mind that he barely knew what to do with you. you didn’t mind that you had to teach him the ropes of everything (mostly because it fed into your corruption kink), and you didn’t mind it even when you had to reassure him you weren’t going to judge him as you got him to relax before leaning in once more.

and when your lips had touched his for the first time, chan swore he felt sparks fly. you were soft, and sweet, and real. instead of being a mere figment of his imagination or the skin of the back of his hand, your presence was electrifying. the way your mouth had moved against his, the way you’d let out a soft sigh at the feeling of it pressing back into him, and the way you’d pulled away and flashed him the prettiest smile he’d ever damn seen in his life before, it was all so dizzying. 

“you’re a pretty good kisser.” you’d winked at him afterwards, and he felt himself flush under your gaze which only made you double over in laughter. you’d even leaned in once more to plant another soft kiss on his lips before motioning for him to continue with whatever demand and supply topic he was teaching you about. chan didn’t give a fuck about that anymore though, the only thought on his mind the entirety of the rest of your study session how to get better at kissing you, and when he could look forward to doing it the next time.

#three. what he likes about you

if anyone asked chan what he likes about you, he’d be at a complete loss for words. not because there’s nothing he can come up with beyond superficial reasons, but because there’s too much that he has to say and isn’t sure of where to actually start.

chan isn’t even sure when he fell for you in the first place. yes, when he first met you that fated night on the balcony at that premature freshmen party he caught feelings for you, but those feelings snowballed and grew into something much larger as the days went on. each night was filled with replaying your conversation (although he barely spoke out of his shock upon seeing you) and wondering what it would be like to be in your presence once more. it got to the point that his friends began asking him why he was spacing out so much during classes and staring at one specific section of the lecture hall, but he didn’t have the courage to admit it was because of you sitting there. 

to simply put it, chan likes everything and nothing about you. he likes the fact that you’re nobody like he’s ever met before, you have a fire to yourself that nobody comes close to claiming, but you laugh sweet enough to extinguish that flame at the same time. something about you draws him in, tantalising and captivating in nature but all too consuming to the point he can’t get you out of his brain no matter how hard he tries. the time you came up to him to ask if he’d help you with tutoring, his mind almost short circuited because holy shit, were you actually talking to him in real life instead of the made up interactions he plays out with you before going to sleep? and you knew his name and who he was on top of that? it was too good of a dream to be true.

that’s precisely why chan can’t let go of you now. even if it hurts him, even if it’s painstakingly hard to be hidden from the public eye whilst being together with you, he doesn’t want to let go of you. because letting go of you entails that he’s giving up on his aspirations of being with you, and chan is nothing next to a quitter. he’ll have you in any way he can, even if that means not abiding by his friends’ requests to just let you go and being kept in the dark by your lack of confrontation for your feelings.

at the end of the day, chan is head over heels for you, and that’s something that’ll never change. 

. . .

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

[stargirlrchive]

TOLERATE IT

older!ghost x reader — i realized after i finished, i did not mention simon’s name once, but this was written w him in mind lmaooo

cw: angst, no comfort, break up? ish, friends w benefits and complicated feelings, simon self-sabotaging, im in such an angsty mood! edit: this has been sitting in my drafts for over a month and i don’t know if i like it

your nails dug into your palms as your eyes filled with tears. you were drowning, he was drowning you. you had known it for a long time now. this, whatever it was, wasn’t working. not anymore.

not when you had bled yourself dry, spread yourself too thin for him, just to receive nothing in return. worst of all is he had told you so from the very beginning. but some naive, stupid, part of you thought that would change. that he’d change for you.

stupid, stupid, stupid.

“what did you except?”

his voice was ice cold, indifferent and… bored. as if you pouring your heart out to him mere seconds ago meant nothing.

you realized then that you had been terribly wrong. mistaken the way he held you, and kissed you, as something more. “i just figured-”

his eyes blazed with frustration, “figured what, hm? that i’d eventually soften up? grow to love you?”

yes.

“i don’t know. would that be so difficult?”

“yes.”

your face twitched, unable to mask how deeply that hurt. your throat tightened with regret. regret of ever tangling yourself with him, regret with voicing your feelings.

“you knew what i wanted from this arrangement. you had agreed. we were on the same page.”

the regret and melancholy that had ebbed and festered in your heart turned to anger. blinding, burning rage.

“i had told you, made it so very clear that nothing long term would come from this. i can’t give you that.”

that rage was threatening to consume you.

your voice shook with anger, but the look on his face took the crack in your voice as one of sadness, weakness, “you won’t give me that. it’s not that you can’t.”

he said nothing, because you both knew it was true. “look, kid-”

“don’t-” your voice rasped, “don’t call me that.”

his fingers clenched in frustration, breathing through his nose as he tried to collect himself. he had never heard your voice grow that cold. not towards him and it made his bones ache.

“it’s nothing personal. i’m just not want you’re lookin’ for. not for something constant, and if things were different, if i was a different person then maybe. but im not.”

your eyes burned, a few stray tears falling but you were quick to wipe them away. yes, you had come to an agreement prior to this. but things had changed, the way he looked at you, and held you.

the whispered words in between your tangled limbs had proven that. he lingering touches and soft eyes.

he must’ve been one hell of a liar if he didn’t mean any of that.

stupid, stupid, stupid.

“i don’t believe you.”

you sniffed softly, looking at him and you were sure the devastation was clear in your eyes. “because if everything that passed between us, if you were able to fake that. you’re a monster.”

“you knew what this was when we started.”

you missed the way his fingers dug into the armrest of the couch. shaking your head as you stood up. “get out.”

he felt the chill of your words wash over him, and the part inside him that yearned for you, desperately begged him to speak up. to tell you that this was all some big misunderstanding.

stupid, stupid, stupid.

what he was doing was stupid. but it was for the best.

you deserved better, and he’d never be able to give that to you.

yes you would.

he forced the voice back, swallowing roughly before standing up. grabbing his things as he watched you try not to fall apart before him.

the words of ‘i’m sorry,’ heavy on his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

his footsteps heavy as he left your apartment. his heart aching the further he walked away and it comforted him a bit to know you’d never forgive him again.

there would be no hope, no one to hurt or disappoint and he could live with that. knowing that he let you go before you could begin to hate him.

[ur-fav-inactive-writer]

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤

Pines family x platonic!reader

WC: 1109

Requested by: @kiyomi-uchiha777

Request: what if Bill because this dude is a psycho kills of sister reader after someone or something that made him angry. And what would be the reaction of the characters. Especially when being protective siblings before now losingey little sister

A/N: holy crap I haven't written anything in AGES, anyway, hope you enjoy this, also this will stray from canon a bit but ill try keep it as accurate as possible x

~*~*~*~*~

Bill held you tightly in-between his fingers, Mabel and Dipper clutched tightly in his others. You writhed and struggled but could not free yourself. You heard the desperate pleas of your great-uncles below you. You and your younger siblings attempted to free yourselves but the harder you tried to escape from Bill's grasp, the tighter he held onto you. Eventually, you and your siblings came to the realisation that you were not going to be freed without Bill freeing you himself. Your heart raced, your thoughts ran wild, your body was shaking intensely. The sound of your breathing picking up was only known to you, the shouts of your uncles drowning it out. Every sound inside your head came to an abrupt halt when the booming voice that belonged to Bill sounded throughout the room.

"I've got the kids~~~"

His voice had a hint of teasing to it, it made you feel nauseous. The look of horror that flashed across your uncles' faces caused hot tears to well up in your eyes.

"I think im gonna kill one of them now, just for the heck of it!"

The last part of that sentence seemed to cause time to stop. No, he couldn't do that, could he? The horrifying realisation hit you, at least one of the Pines' children would be dead in less than a minutes time.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No

Surely, he's just bluffing? He's trying to scare us, right? Your head whipped around to look at your dear brother and sister. Their expressions mirrored yours exactly.

None of you could live without one another. Especially the twins, how would Mabel be able to live without her twin brother there to warn and protect her from dangers she was too naïve to spot? How would Dipper live without his twin sister there to remind him to not overwork himself, to live in a better way? No, neither of them could live like that. But, could they live without you?

You squinted your eyes when a blinding, red light flashed throughout the room. The source of it was Bill's eye.

"Eeny. Meenie. Miny."

Symbols flashed each time a word fell from his mouth, each representing you and your siblings. First, a pine tree. Second, a shooting star. Thirdly, an angel. You were given the angel as your symbol since you were seen as the guardian angel of your siblings.

Perhaps that's why he stopped on you.

Symbols were no longer flashing, one stayed. The guardian angel. He was going to kill you. In less than a minute, you would be dead. You had no time to react before Bill snapped his finger and then,

you were dead.

~*~*~*~

Mabel and Dipper were dropped to the floor, along with your lifeless corpse. The sound of Stan and Ford's shouts rang throughout the room. Once they had recovered from the fall, Mabel and Dipper rushed to your body. Your eyes were closed, you looked so peaceful, so perfect. How could you look so perfect in a situation where its so far from perfect? Sobs fell from Mabels lips, throwing herself onto your body. Her big sister, gone forever. Dipper fell to his knees, too shocked to formulate a sentence or even a reaction. His face was blank as his chest rise and fell faster and faster, his breathing picking up rapidly. Screams and cries from Stan and Ford echoed around the room as their cage disappeared. They ran over to you faster than ever, falling to their knees the same way Dipper had.

No. No. No. How could he do such a thing? Why, why her? Why not Ford? Why not Stan? Why (Y/N)? Suddenly, a group of the townsfolk burst through the entrance, Bill too busy laughing at the sorrow he caused to notice such things. Fiddleford held the Quantum Distabiliser and fired it at Bill. Bill's form evaporated as all the weirdness surrounding everybody disappeared with Bill too. Everything was back to normal. Except, (Y/N) was gone.

The Pines' family found themselves in the woods. They ran, ran, and ran until they found your body. You were laying in a meadow, flowers surrounding your corpse, almost poetically. They fell beside your body and stared.

How could they possibly tell your parents their sweet, beloved daughter was just gone? How can they continue on, knowing that you're never going to come back? Knowing that they will never get to spend another moment in your lively presence? All they could do was cry, cry, cry.

~*~*~*~

Weeks had passed and your parents had come to Gravity Falls for your funeral. They saw it fitting you be buried here, where you spent the best summer of your life. The whole town had come in support. They hosted the funeral in that same meadow they found you in. Due to the grief, when they found you, the fact that you loved this meadow and went there almost daily slipped their mind. They found a swing you had crafted yourself on one of your trips here and surrounded it with flowers.

They buried you in that same spot they found you in, the same spot where they found you laying there with such a peaceful expression it almost made everything seem okay again.

After the funeral, the twins would visit that same spot constantly. Mabel would lay next to where you were buried and ramble about all her troubles for hours, knowing you'd be listening. Dipper would sit on the other side and write in his journal. After your passing, he had almost dedicated his journal to you. About how pretty, smart, caring and amazing you were in your life. Once he had finished his first journal about you, he dug up a small hole a few feet above where your coffin laid, and buried it there. To Dipper, he believed that burying it there would almost be like gifting it to you in the afterlife.

~*~*~*~*~

It had been years since your passing, all the Pines' still missed you dearly though. Not a day went by when they didn't think of you and your kind heart. Stan laid in his hospital bed, his health had been declining over those past few months. Mabel and Dipper sat beside him, the same way they did when you had died. He was dying, fast. They cried as they said their goodbyes, knowing he'd be gone soon. He assured them they'd be okay before taking his last breath. He reopened his eyes, looking towards the twins. Why couldn't they see him with his eyes open? Why were they still crying?

As he wondered these things, he saw a pale blue light in the corner, it was you.

"Long time no see Grunkle Stan."

~*~*~*~

A/N: SOBBING RN. also sorry if this isn't that great, i haven't written anything in a while but I still hope you enjoy! xx

[yongbokkk]

by the waters, part 1

pairings: lee know x m!reader

genre: fluff, mermaid au

a/n: hi im back i think... my apologies

stray kids had been waiting forever for their vacation, so they decided to spend all their peaceful time on an island. not many people were touring and the water was still fresher than ever. not to mention, the nature here looked amazing.

the eight of them have already gone to their chosen rooms, beginning to unpack. minho went to the balcony to stare at the scenery, the ocean waves crashing into each other as the water sparkled.

jisung came up to him, "yah, i bet you there's a mermaid out there." he leaned on the glass fence, joining minho.

"mermaids? you're crazy." minho shook his head.

"can't be always wrong." the younger one lightly gasped, "how about you drown, and then a mermaid would come and save you!" he teased.

"you want me to die or something? it's so unlikely they exist, it's just a fairy tale." minho kept denying.

"hmm, okay, believe whatever you want ~" jisung waved him goodbye and went back inside the house.

the older sighed, before heading back in since it was getting late.

it was the morning, and minho went out for a long stroll outside on the island. the breeze was cold but very refreshing. this island was such a good pick for them.

the brunette found two stray cats, which was weird for them to be here. nonetheless, he fed and played with them for almost an hour.

it was a struggle for him to not scoop the kittens up and adopt them, he felt bad he had to leave the two cuties. minho eventually got bored and decided to go fishing, not the best, but he liked to try.

minho went by the waters with a fishing rod, he tied the hook on with the fish bait and threw it into the water.

After a few minutes of waiting, there was a huge tug on the string. he must've caught a big one, he'll definitely tell this to the members.

but as he was pulling it up, streams of crimson blood were found at the surface of the water. did the fish bleed that much?

he was wrong, it wasn't a fish he had caught.

minho's eyes widened as he pulled up a bleeding man, with fishtails for legs.

jisung was right, mermen and mermaids were real.

minho panicked, watching the person hiss at the hook painfully attached to his skin. he couldn't just sit there in shock, he needed to do something.

he quickly unwrapped the scarf that was on his neck, rushing to the merman. minho carefully took the hook out and wrapped the scarf around the boy's bleeding arm.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry..." minho kept apologizing for hurting the person, but all the merman did was stare at the human.

finally, he took the time to look at the merman, and boy, he was the most beautiful thing minho's eyes ever laid down on.

"it's okay, you didn't mean it. right?" the merman was unsure whether to trust the human or not.

"never in my life will i hurt anyone intentionally." he finished tying the scarf around the arm securely, "..are you fine with getting medical help?" he looked around, trying to see if he could find anyone.

"no! don't let them discover me!" the merman sounded scared and nervous. minho understood and dropped calling for help.

"how are we gonna patch that up, then?" he questioned, pointing at the deep wound underneath the cloth.

"the water helps me heal, it'll take a while but you don't have to worry." the h/c put a reassuring smile, which the dancer found ethereal.

"ah, alright." minho was still shocked that he had witnessed a real-life merman, he thought it was all a fairy tale. "do you have a name?"

"y/n, what about yours?" y/n's mesmerizing eyes sparkled in minho's view.

"minho." he smiled, wanting this moment to last forever.

"...promise you won't tell anyone about me?" y/n practically begged, making a stern and serious face.

"of course, i wouldn't tell the world."

minho kept his word and never told anyone about the encounter. when they asked about the missing scarf, he made the excuse of accidentally leaving it somewhere.

jisung wasn't that convinced, he couldn't have just left the scarf somewhere.

"i don't believe you, bet you left it in someone's bedroom." jisung smirked suggestively, making minho scrunch in disgust.

"no, i'm telling the truth." he rolled his eyes, returning back to cooking for the members.

"have you seen a mermaid yet?" jisung asked, catching minho off guard as he made a cut in his fingers with the knife.

"ow!" minho hissed. "l-like i said, mermaids don't exist." he said, causing jisung to sigh loudly.

after eating a delicious meal, all eight of them went to their bedrooms for slumber, except for minho.

his mind was stuck on a certain merman from earlier, he still couldn't believe there were actually living mer-creatures, and that he was lucky enough to meet one.

that next day, minho told the members that he'd be going for another walk again. they didn't care much but to wish him safe.

well, his heart had other intentions. he found himself sitting on the tough but comfortable rock, staring off at the far sea, waiting for y/n's arrival.

since it was unplanned, it was very unlikely for him to show up. so why did minho feel the need to come by?

he waited, and waited, to the point where the said 'walk' he told the other members was now considered a lie. minho slightly had his hopes up for the beautiful creature to pop up.

seeing as it has been almost an hour, he was bound to give up. minho stood up from his seat on the rock, but before he could turn away, the water sparkled.

he was there.

[love-toxin]

yes pls tell me all ur thoughts on blade, luocha, gepard, jingyuan and kafka 😳 the eng va and trailers for jingyuan and kafka in particular got me acting up—just smthing about jingyuan’s lil smirk and laid bk countenance and how i know he can fuck the daylights out of anyone effortlessly—and kafka? yes ma’am anything for u pls slam ur foot against the wall behind me 🙏🏻

god bless im literally in love w/ all of them anon. would give my left nut for blade, luocha or jing yuan, gepard and kafka carry my team so hard. also bc i want them to step on my face.

also i wanna be toxic rn so under the cut ⬇️⬇️

blade -> prrrrrrrrr. big daddy. idk why but he gives me discord kitten daddy dom vibes. he manspreads. he gets pussy. he probably doesn't shower as often as he should. he's unapologetically a rude bitch. he absolutely girlbosses you into being his baby, he pulls out the "i feel nothing but you give me a taste of life" and keeps you so close you're basically part of him. handsy and off-putting in public for passersby but you can't get his hands off you, it's a losing battle babe. nd he's nasty freaky slimy and rubs his cock against you as a sign he wants to go home or just find someplace quiet. he doesn't like fucking you out in the open but he'll do it if the need arises--like if you "forget" that your body & soul belongs to him and need a harsh reminder. you're just his delicate little kitty after all, so if anyone's gonna break you it should be someone you love unconditionally. right?

kafka -> gatekeep. gaslight. girldaddy. beats you up and makes you say thank you. you're her pet so get used to it, but she'll feed you once in a while so you should be glad, puppy. she's the mean tall girlfriend who babies you and then spits in your mouth for a treat. her & blade treat you like a pet and if she's feeling extra mean she strips you down and makes you kneel between them with nothing to cover yourself. if you're good and give them a lil show they'll let you go early, they promise (lie). humping kafka's pillow to get your scent all over it becomes a nightly ritual to help her sleep, no it is non-negotiable, it is in your spouses' contract that she signed with your hand while you slept. it also states that your face may be used in any and all leisure activities at her discretion--mainly for her to push your head between her legs and lazily give you an order as she sifts through documents. you might be her pet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. at least as far as you can tell.

luocha -> ngl idk that much about him yet but he's immediately unhinged bf-shaped. stupid and drunk on thoughts of you & gives you his credit card details on the first date. he's gross and wants to bite your thighs. begging to be drowned in pussy/choked with cock. you're so pretty and he's so dirty by comparison. he can't blame you for not wanting his gross dick anywhere near you, guess all he can do is eat you out <33 oh noooooo! what a tragedy! sike. he loves that shit. he's got meds to make you squirt too. ik he's not that kinda healer but don't tell me unhinged luocha wouldn't have a ball drugging you both up and taking you for a ride. he wouldn't even know his name once the high dies down, just the feeling of your lips leaving stray kisses all down his face as you try to stay awake.

jing yuan -> daddy 2.0. a dilf with no kids. 1000% goes into husband mode the second you're within reach. chill & soft & uwu until everyone's outta the office, then he becomes a menace to society and your underwear. he cums in them before you leave for the day so you don't forget him <3 you can have a cheeky one in your mouth on his lunch break if you're good. ♀️ he beats your pussy up cock-first for hurting his bbg with your period. he still doesn't get enough of you in the day so he creeps on you at night, rubs one out on your thighs while you sleep and flips over to go right back to snoring afterwards. you can never have too much cum on you--that's his wisdom and as your superior general you should probably believe it, no? don't worry, he can fuck with your job and your life and your friends and your money and your heart until you find it within yourself to agree.

gepard -> dummy boy goody-two-shoes. he likes fuckin in the uniform and being called "captain" i am not taking criticism at this time. dumb little captured stellaron hunter & horny silvermane captain roleplay. moans in your ear during sex. he moans like a girl and he hates it but it's hot and he cums 10x faster if you tell him just how hot it is. he's so big & tall he just makes you feel like a little bunch of grapes when he picks you up, nd he's self-conscious about how weird it is that he likes seeing your face scrunch up in pain when he eases you on his cock but it's just too big. the gravity makes it all feel too much when he sits you on his lap like that but you just wiggle around on it rather than get off, and he's a fiend for it. also consider clean, prim, missionary-lover gepard falling in love with rimming you & feeling like a dirty mutt for enjoying it so much & begging you for it when he's in need. asking him to take a shower with you turns into code for "let's do anal against the tile please" real quick.

[moonlit-escape]

★彡 ˙🌱. ¡! Vylad Mystreet headcanons !!

the second character i fell in love with. how cruel it is that he has fuck all going for him. I'll fix that.

korean and white

pansexual (actually this one is just canon) (cole petty ily)

doesn't have like a set label for his gender, and is cool with anything people wanna see him as

will try anything once

will put anything in his mouth

can sleep literally anywhere

i think this man might be the most laid-back, flexible person on the planet.

except towards geese because fuck those things

any time he has slept in a park he has made sure there were no geese around because those fuckers have stolen his stuff before and made him watch as they drowned it

listens to the most underground shit you've never heard and it all slaps (i didnt add this kind of stuff to his playlist though bc i wanted it to. make sense.)

also just listens to underrated music in general (includes just underrated songs from super popular bands)

currently holds an award for being the "funniest man on mystreet" and he didn't even have residency there

kind of has random visions about his friends in his sleep, but he just thinks they're normal dreams and that he misses his friends a lot (oh little does he know.)

used to say the most cryptic shit as a kid and freak his brothers out

being friends with vylad as a kid mustve been the weirdest experience. the kid eats glue, dirt, and moss, befriends frogs, crows, and moths, tells you you've suffered immense turmoil in a past life completely sincerely, and then infodumps about the entire history and process of typewriters for some fuckin reason

im 100% sure all three of the boys have autism and they got it from zianna

while he doesn't really want to connect himself to the ro'meave name (mainly bc of garte), he does love his family to death and sends his mom and brothers post cards every once in a while (when he remembers, mostly)

doesn't really reach out to his family any other way and neither do they. which he understands; communication is a two-way street

tries to stay positive and practice a healthy mindset and self-image, even and especially when he feels his insecurities and sense of self-worth creeping in

knows how to fish with nothing but a shoestring and a good fuckin stick

Loves pickin up good fuckin sticks

also cool rocks

he collects cool rocks from all the places he visits and keeps them in an old jewelry box. he keeps special ones he plans on giving to his friends in the top part of it

always making friends with stray dogs, cats, rats, raccoons, and opossums. someone stop him

has a johnny stein hotel transylvania relationship with his backpack (it literally has everything he owns in it)

knows how to fix and alter clothes

he knows how to do a lotta shit, alright. i don't think you'll find a craftier little guy than vylad ro'meave

except when it comes to fixing a water heater or anything to do with pipes or electrical tbh he hasn't lived in a house in a While

i'm obsessed w the idea that zane had spent so much time and effort trying to get gene to notice him meanwhile vylad enters gene's peripherals for 2.5 seconds and gene's like I Want Him.

poor vylad can't get on zane's better side for shit

owns a few skirts and dresses and high-heeled boots because he can wear whatever he wants

goes to ren faires whenever he can honestly. sometimes as a job!

when his hair gets too long he ties it back into a low ponytail or pigtails until he can get it cut again (doesnt really like having long hair)

wears weird and funky socks

he absolutely has a roblox account

likes to pronounce words wrong on purpose sometimes. mostly by putting emphasis on the wrong syllables

ABSOLUTELY adds extra e's to his words when texting bc thatse good showbiz babey!!

the type of kid where his first word was actually just a full coherent sentence

i'm coming to terms with the fact that he is most definitely a furry (not the type to dress up for it though. he just does artwork)

spent so much of his younger years trying so, so hard to achieve an astounding success to get his father to notice him. feeling like he had to "earn" his place as a ro'meave with him. but, it was a good thing he realized fast that that was never going to happen

because he did achieve some incredible things! he was a perfect child prodigy; on his way to dual enrollment by only his first highschool year

but, he realized, one whole summer with his father home, that all that work to be the perfect son, just like his brothers were, was.. really for nothing, when he saw zane completely break down one night after dinner

so, he dropped the course to dual enrollment entirely, asked to be transferred from o'casis to phoenix drop high, and decided to take more time for himself. figuring out who he is and what he likes. which, is sorta just turning out to be "anything, except the things he doesn't"

but, there's a lot out there still. and, while he still feels like he hasn't entirely found his own sense of self-worth, he's going to keep trying new things and discovering all that he can about himself until he feels whole enough to come home

[asterefflores]

Hello Aster....

Im the who gave the idea of the twins argument..

Now i have another idea

Please save me😂😭

You know I was just thinking about what would happen if Roksoo just wake up in the middle of the night and feel his body is burning because he's having a fever but he just ignore it and then Cale would wake up by his moans in sleep because he was sick and having nightmares at the same time...

So.. yeah..

with the presence of daddy Tristan Please 😭❤️

Sorry for giving you trouble and Thank you so much😭❤️

Daddy Tristan must be with them in every request now I think lol xD

------------------------

Cold, it was freezing cold…

His body went numb and even stopped shaking at some point. He wondered if this was how he would finally die.

People hurriedly walked past the alley to their homes to avoid the coming storm. It wasn’t like they hadn’t noticed the child lying on the floor curled up on himself, looking too frail and barely alive. Their glances lasted less than a second.

He hoped for a little bit of sympathy. Having an extra layer to wear would be appreciated. However, it appears that people have become accustomed to seeing homeless and dying people on the streets.

Perhaps he couldn’t say people were cruel for this. Surely, ignoring poor people didn’t come naturally at first. He himself had met some particularly obscene and desperate beggars who had come to be viewed as a potential danger to anyone showing a moment of kindness.

He never thought of excusing those people in the past; a kid wouldn’t be able to understand all sides of society. He only focused on surviving and avoiding getting beaten up. He could steal some clothes and food from shops around, but he hates pain. Scamming was much better, but he couldn’t move an inch now after getting ganged up by some teens who couldn’t find a stray cat to bully as their daily routine. Instead, they found a stray kid and probably thought, ‘Even better’.

Now he was all bruised, and he was too tired to try and find shelter for the night. He wished for one person to feel a bit sorry for him, but the streets soon became empty, and there was no one to glance his way anymore. There was no use to keep his eyes open in hopes that anyone would come his way to help.

Even though he probably should keep his eyes open in case other bullies would target him on a whim again, he was too tired.

His eyes slowly closed…

He lived long, yet he still found it difficult to survive once again in a dirty alley with a body of skin and bones.

The storm arrived, and he barely even flinched under the torrential downpour.

However, he didn’t know if he was starting to imagine stuff, but he felt warm below the water that pooled from the rainstorm, or was he dying?

If this is how death feels like, then perhaps he should’ve given up long ago…

“Mhm…”

A quiet sound escaped him as he basked in the warmth at last, feeling at ease as he was drowned underwater.

He felt incredibly light, as if his soul was finally set free. He was floating away and safe from everyone…

“—ung…”

Wait, how is he a kid again?

“—yung…”

Where are his Ancient Powers?

“Hyung…”

“…mmh…?”

The muffled sounds of drowning were suddenly gone when he opened his eyes, though he strained to keep them open before he finally gave up after a few tired blinks.

“…hmm…?”

Why can’t he form a single word? Why does his body feel heavy and cold all over? Why is it hard to move even his jaw?

He soon felt like he was suffocating. He noticed his shallow breathing…

“Hmm…” he made a quiet sound with his eyes closed, appreciating the cool hand that came to rest on his forehead.

“Gentle Human, is the Human still having a nightmare…?”

He heard Raon asking quietly, sounding worried.

“I think he’s awake now, dear. But…he has a fever…”

‘…was I making noises in my sleep?’

Rok-Soo heard Cale softly speaking to the kids while seemingly tapping on some device, almost whispering so as not to disturb his hyung even though his hyung was awake indeed.

He gulped as he thought of speaking, and he slightly frowned in pain at how sore his throat was. ‘I really have a fever?’

How was that possible? What about the Vitality of the Heart?

“Hyung, I called Dad. He’ll be here in a second— ah, here he is.”

‘Right, we decided to spend the night in the tower…’

He could feel at ease with Tristan around. Their dad somehow always manages to solve their issues fast, after all.

Just as Cale announced, Rok-Soo felt another presence calmly sitting by his side on the bed. He felt another hand patting his head gently.

“…something is restricting his Ancient Powers, it seems.”

His eyebrows were slightly furrowed with his eyes still closed at hearing Tristan.   

“Probably the effect of a malfunctioning device in the tower,” Tristan explained, standing up calmly after, “I’ll go take a look quickly.” He walked back to the teleport podium and looked at Cale, “Don’t let him drink or eat anything yet, not even water. It may worsen his condition.”

“I understand.”

Tristan offered a little smile to Cale and the kids, “It won’t take long.”

He left as soon as they relaxed their expressions.

Rok-Soo felt the bed dip a little on his left. The hand on his forehead moved to his chest just above the blanket, patting lightly.

Pat, Pat…

‘…is dongsaeng using magic?’

The action made him feel less cold. It felt nice and comfortable. He could drift back to sleep with this…

…he heard little, soft murmurs from the kids, and it all helped lull him to sleep eventually…

This time, he dreamt of his brat of a dongsaeng joking beside him with the kids before sleep, teasing him with light pats on his chest and the kids mimicking him as they patted his head and cheek with their paws.

He kept sighing, smiling and laughing while they played silly again, as they always do every night.

The rest of the dream was a haze when he suddenly opened his eyes and found the gentle sunlight streaming in through the windows on his right.

He blinked blankly, lying still and staring at the ceiling. The room was as comfortably quiet as usual, with the kids sticking to him in their sleep.

“Good morning.”

He looked to the door at the whisper to find Cale just entering the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

“…did I have a fever?” Rok-Soo asked as Cale walked toward the bed, showing his easy smile as if nothing had happened.

“Yes, you did, it wasn’t a dream.” Cale answered and sat on the chair beside the bed. “Dad came back half an hour later and said it shouldn’t take long for your Ancient Powers to help you recover soon. Minutes later, and your fever was gone.”

“I see.” The whole night feels like a blur in his mind now. It’s been so long since he last fell sick, so it was almost a foreign experience now after all those years. “Why are you smiling like that?” He finally asked when the brat kept smiling strangely with amused eyes.

“I just wonder, what were you dreaming about? You kept smiling the whole time in your sleep before you started laughing.” Cale chuckled so as not to wake the kids, “The kids called Dad again. They told him to come check again because you were probably possessed.”

“……”

Cale started giggling quietly as his hyung sighed.

“Dad effortlessly convinced them they should get to sleep because their worrying souls are the ones disturbing you, so Raon used magic to make the three of them sleep until I wake them up.”

“……”

Rok-Soo just sighed again while his dongsaeng laughed at the whole thing.

He pretended later to have forgotten what he dreamt about, and of course, neither Cale nor Tristan believed him, probably even the kids.

.

.

.

[avocado-frog]

WIP files tag

Thank u to @the-stray-storyteller this is a new one I'm not going to do all of them because I have... quite a few (206) and so I'm just going to go by canon chapter what they're saved as instead of all the extra shit

RULES: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and answer with a snippet or tell them about it. Tag as many people as you have WIPS

Well, I technically only have three real ones, these are all just files for them so I don't have to tag 100 people: @elizaellwrites @briannaswords @litbylightning

(Forget me not- 1-30 Dahlia- 31-51 Rosemary- 51-93)

Halloween chapter (part 1: Leo. black rose)

Picture + Sam cameo

School chapter/Leo characterization moment

Things Are Getting Spooky

Leo steals a vehicle

Jaxon and Dylan are here!!

Logan and Lily are here!!

Leo character development moment

Ryan and Sam are here!!

Elliot is here!!

Part two- Jaxon. Zinnia. Just Vibing

Dylan backstory moment

Ryan and Elliot kidnap Logan or something

Exposition chapter

Merry crisis

Elliot mental illness moment

Ryan fucking DROWNS

Ryan backstory moment + bonding

Maine arc part one

Picnic chapter (im so sad)

Part three- Elliot. Lily of the valley. Sad times are near

Elliot VS staircase (part one of three)

Elliot goes mortal kombat mode (elliot vs staircase part two)

Dylan backstory moment again

SHIT FUCK THINGS ARE HAPPENING

Ryan vs Elliot (ryan has the knife) (skipped this outline like a dumbfuck)

sobs screams cries

Triplet backstory hours + STOP FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS

Ryan vs Elliot (elliot has the knife) (rest in peace)

sequel bait (brain arc technically)

Dahlia 1- Sam. Marigold. ABSURD the word count on this bitch

Leo vs Jaxon (Jaxon loses)

Sam being a sad lil guy

In which I needed 21 chapters so i wrote this one

Logan backstory hours

Dylan kidnaps a coma patient

Dahlia part two- Dylan. Iris. Things are getting spooky again

Beginning of the brain arc

Dylan and Ryan vs The Horrors (brain arc)

Leo backstory chapter (real world)

And they were roommates (real world)

Park/Forest/Circus (brain arc)

Who Could've Seen This Coming (real world)

Lab/Mirror/Garden (brain arc) (Also! Part three- Ryan. Asphodel)

Logan Lily and Cass vs the horrors (real world)

Docks/Playroom/Memory (brain arc)

Sam is a magic man (real world)

Leo vs Jaxon (Leo loses)

Logan adopts two more kids

Dylan, Elliot, Logan + where did jax go

Jaxon left the group chat

Rosemary 1- Cass. Sunflower (I THINK) things are happening all of the time

In which i really liked jellicoe road

Jaxon is stolen

Another Emily backstory

Jaxon backstory chapter (will i have one for all the kids?)

The kids all have bonding hours

More Emily (BOOO)

Elliot and Dylan (good for the soul)

Leo is stolen from the hospital whoops

One more Olivia + Emily chapter

Part 2- Logan. Woodland sage. I really wish I could've used Jaxon instead

Jaxon and Leo reunion (gone wrong)

Jaxon and Leo stop being the Worst (derogatory)

Dylan and Logan finally stop being the Worst (affectionate)

Dylan finally manages to get through to Leo

Jaxon loses hand privileges

Leo's escape

Dylan Fucking Dies

Jaxon is being weird

Get stabbed nerd

Jaxon goes feral

Part 3- Lily. Gladiolus. YES I KNOW WHAT HER FLOWER SHOULD BE SHUT THE FUCK YOUR UP

Oh yeah marcy is a character

Cass and Elliot bonding times

Dylan backstory dump (i honest to god skipped this outline again)

Leo and Logan go to get Jaxon (gone wrong)

War arc or something

Logan and Leo vs Jaxon

Fighting fighting fighting

Ryan vs Jaxon. Elliot character development moment

The twins commit felonies (logan is there too)

Part 4- Marcy. Hyacinth. HA FUCK YOU U THOUGHT I WOULD SKIP HER HUH

Kai and Jaxon being much gayer than I meant for them to be

Jaxon is finally allowed to talk to the kids, Ryan is sad

Nothing important happens. the kids watch a movie

More talking + wrapping up plot shit

Part 5- Kai. Peony. FIVE CHAPTERS LEFT

Happy birthday to the Jaxon himself

Logan, Marcy, Kai final chapter

Jaxon and Dylan final chapter

Leo and Cass's birthday. Lily, Ryan, Sam, Cass, Elliot, Leo final chapter

LAST ONE.

Character charts

outlines???

Character analysises

flower symbolism + characters

funky ghost au

medieval au

group chat thing

[arelyhb]

hi, im the person who asked for spoilers:)

i personally have no problems with spoilers and ive seen playthroughs of the game twice, but back when they came out and i dont remember everything, especially not chronologically. i know what happens to joel and the hospital scene and what happens to ellie after that, but im not sure if that comes right after david or not (especially since they are making a s2, i think it'd be strange to make the hospital scene the finale of s1). i feel like im missing something in between is all

thanks a lot again!!

Ok. Very well...

TLOU SPOILERS AHEAD.

So, after David, Joel and Ellie carry on in their search for the Fireflies and there seems to be a reversal of roles. Ellie is clearly dealing with some PTSD after David so she's more serious and quiet now while Joel seems to be in a much lighter mood and doing all the talking now as they walk through another abandoned QZ. This is when Joel tells Ellie that maybe when they're done he can teach her how to play the guitar. We can now see that Joel definitely sees Ellie in his future once they're done with the Fireflies. Ellie is still a bit off until she sees some stray giraffes in the city and runs through the second floor of an abandoned building to get a good look at them. Joel follows her and she's mesmerized and finally happy again. Joel encourages her to pet one of the giraffes and this is super relevant because of the symbolism; Sarah had a stuffed giraffe in her bedroom. Joel now definitely sees a daughter in Ellie too.

Joel glances at Ellie and tells her they don't have to do this and can just go back to Tommy's but Ellie says "after everything I've done? Everything we've been through?" So clearly we can see how this kid carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. She thinks it's her OBLIGATION to save the world. Joel knows better because he's a grown man but up until this point, he respects her decisions because they both have no idea what making a vaccine will require. So they keep going and talk some more about going back to Jackson when they're done and Joel says "I am not leaving without you." It's sealed then. Their future together is sealed. They cannot separate now. They are father and daughter practically at this point.

They enter a freeway tunnel, deal with more infected then Ellie falls into a flooded area and almost drowns. Joel is performing CPR and a couple of asshole Fireflies show up and aim their guns at him. Joel is triggered once again because he's not going to stop until the child is safe but he's knocked unconscious.

He wakes up in a hospital, Marlene is sitting next to him, so we learn that they were brought in by actual Fireflies and the journey is over. Joel wants to see Ellie but Marlene won't let him. She assures Joel she's fine but she's already being prepped for surgery. Joel is like "What do you mean surgery?" and Marlene goes on to explain that the virus has mutated which is why Ellie is immune, that once they remove it they will be able to reverse engineer a vaccine. It dawns in on Joel that the infection grows in the brain, so they'd obviously have to kill Ellie to make their so-called cure. Joel immediately demands to see Ellie but is hit by Marlene's guard and then she basically tells Joel that whatever he's thinking is nothing compared to her because she knows Ellie since she was born. Yes, Marlene was friends with Ellie's mom. Yes, that still won't stop her from killing a child without even giving her a heads up.

In this part I confirmed why I hated the Fireflies so much. Not only do they have God complex but they're also okay with killing a 14 year old girl to save a world that's beyond saving. To me, if it isn't the Cordyceps virus, it'll be something else; a war, another illness, etc that will kill humans in the end. So Ellie dying to stall that inevitable end of human race is pointless. But the moral dilemma is presented to the gamer or the viewers. This is what I think but what do you think right? What do others think? Save one girl or save the world?

So Marlene threatens Joel and tells him to just forget about her. Then Joel goes crazier than ever before, goes on a killing spree at the hospital until he reaches the operating room where he kills the surgeon and nurses in cold blood and rescues Ellie who's unconscious therefore unaware of everything going on around her.

Joel just makes a complete MESS.

Marlene appears again right when Joel is about to leave with Ellie in his arms. She tries to stop him then tries to convince Joel to let her live, to which Joel responds "You'd just come after her" and BANG shoots Marlene in the face. (I love this man).

So at this point we know that Joel acted based on that open wound Sarah's death left in him. He's traumatized and if he couldn't save his daughter, he is definitely going to save Ellie who's now like a second daughter to him no matter what. When she wakes up she's in the backseat of a car Joel's driving asking what happened.

Joel... Joel lies to Ellie. He tells her the Fireflies ran tests and turned out it wouldn't make a difference because there are a bunch of others who are immune so they've stopped looking for a cure. Ellie is very sad and disappointed but she doesn't know that they were going to kill her without even asking her if she was okay with it or if she at least wanted to say goodbye to Joel or something. Joel thinks he's protecting her by lying but this is just a time bomb that will eventually go off on him.

Joel, as we see through the video game, is not a good guy but is also not entirely bad either. However he was a bit selfish but also right in what he did, I mean... the moral dilemma of this mind-blowing story is up to each viewer or player.

I've always thought that Ellie never truly believed Joel, so in the final scene we have them already going back to Jackson and Joel is just happy and pleased but Ellie has a lot on her mind. We see that Joel is much more comfortable now opening up to Ellie and talking about Sarah. So is Ellie since she finally tells Joel that when she got bitten she wasn't alone. She tells him about Riley but never specifies the romantic side of their relationship. This kid obviously isn't ready to come out let alone to Joel yet. But the thing is, we understand one of the many strong reasons Ellie cares so much about the cure because she's filled with guilt, not just for Riley but also Tess and Sam, and being immune makes her feel even more guilty. Joel assures her that none of that is on her.

Ellie then snaps and demands Joel to swear to her that everything he said about the Fireflies was true.

Joel not only lies AGAIN to Ellie but he looks her straight in the eye when he does it. And we can see that Ellie is still not completely buying it but she settles and says "okay". And part I ends.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is so fucking good but part II is even better.

Hopefully... they won't change any of this in the show because it's all crucial for part II but I guess we'll find out.

I hope I helped. I am sorry for writing a whole bible here but once someone mentions The Last of Us, I don't know how to stop.

~A.

[tensbowl]

get to know me (dec 2024)

1. favorite color?

navy blue!

2. lucky number?

3 and multiples of 3.. specifically 9 (THREE whole 3s!)

3. favorite book?

the odyssey by homer

4. favorite movie(s) and/or shows?

show: modern family movies: 20th century girl, wolf children, tick tick boom

5. how tall are you?

180cm (164cm)

6. do you speak any other languages?

i speak english and korean! i've been learning chinese since i was like 6 but im mediocre at best. and i took spanish for one year........ la ducha

7. whats your favorite trope?

idk but i love jokes that get dragged on for too long

8. what is the one thing you look for in a partner?

kindness !

9. favorite songs/artists?

currently fav artists are mcr, will wood, stray kids, queen, mafumafu! favorite song atm is save yourself by mcr

10. who was your childhood hero?

idk if i ever had one...

11. what song did you overplay as a kid?

it wasn't when i was super young but i played rpg by srmfusk 132 times in middle school.. yikes

12. what movie did you over-watch as a kid?

harry potter (specifically the prisoner of azkaban because i had a crush on rupert grint)

13. iced or hot drinks?

iced

13. if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

transformation..!

14. whats your ideal date?

something fun and memorable.. like an amusement park

15. what grade are you in?

currently eleventh! (junior)

16. are you a good driver?

... depends who you ask! i think i'm good but my dad disagrees :(

17. sum up your personality in three words.

sociable, awkward, impulsive

18. are you a good cook? what do you enjoy making the most?

noooo omg i am banned from all kitchens everywhere

19: comfort movie/show?

probably modern family & haikyuu

20. an album with no skips?

danger days by mcr!

21. where do you most want to travel?

i would love to go to korea.. i usually go twice a year but recently it's been dwindling..!

22. future career/career plans?

screenwriter.. if all goes well

23. do you like kids?

no

24. whats one weird thing about you?

there are many things strange about me (or so i have been told)

25. what did you want to be when you were younger?

journalist, soldier, artist, writer, actor, graphic designer, interior designer, lawyer, youtuber, circus ringleader, the tooth fairy, musician, producer, director, singer, game developer, game designer...... the list goes on

26. whats your favorite ship?

the art of shipping has been lost to me for forever but back in The Day i used to be a heavy bokuaka shipper LMAO

27. whats the first show/movie that made you cry?

christopher robin (movie) orrrr wolf children (movie)

28. what do you eat for breakfast?

usually some fried potatoes or a bagel. cereal if i love myself

29. what’s one of your fondest memories?

building snowmen with my dad in the mountains !

30. whose the most important person/favorite person in your life?

bang chan probably (lmao)

31. introvert or extrovert?

extrovert!

32. favorite animals?

wolves, dogs, fish, cows, and cats are some of my favs

33. favorite shoes?

i LOOOOOVE my nikes. and my uggs. oh my god and my 2 inch platform crocs. AND my minecraft themed crocs ugh

34. favorite candle scent?

i dont really fw candles..

35. what are your biggest fears?

drowning, asphyxiation, electrocution, and FIRES...

36. what’s your ideal rainy day scenario?

sleeping through it... i hate rainy days

37. do you plan outfits in advance?

depends.. !

38. if time travel existed, where would you go? past or future?

past

39. your favorite genre of music atm?

jpop/jrock, rock

40. netflix or hulu?

youtube...

41. favorite youtuber?

danny gonzalez BIG fan

42. is there a genre of music you dont like?

i don't like edm and recently indie has been.. not hitting the same :(

43. an author you wont read

a lot actually.. i HATE stephanie meyer and colleen hoover though LOL

44. fav dessert?

sugarbomb tomatoes MMMMM

45. flowers or chocolates?

chocolates!

46. do you have any tattoos or want any?

i want one when i turn 18! i'll get a little fish on my hand methinks

47. what is your favorite quote?

"by love that first did prompt me to inquire..." from romeo and juliet

48. favorite flower?

frangipani!

49. favorite season?

summerrrrr all the way

50. a song that stays stuck in your head?

recently 'dancing through life' from wicked.. might be cuz of the movie

questions from @/livtries !

[earfthgirl]

the lust of man hurts my soul so bad. its made me lose faith in the existence of romantic love. which has always been my hearts biggest desire, so you can imagine the grief. true love, and world peace were my every 11:11 wish as a kid. reality can be quite brutal. growing up is to become aware of the most devastating things you've never imagined. I tell myself it's a dream. in this dance of light there will always have to be a shadow. focus on the good, on the love that dwells in you. the love you feel when you see a stray cat. the love when you look at your daughter, your mom, your sister. your friends. adorable little humans. humans are lowkey so cute. 

being a human is so interesting, bc half the time I feel like a gross animal baby that has all these needs and feelings bleh. parasite of the earth. then the other half of the time. I feel so loved and nurtured by the Earth, and like a miracle. everything is so cool. half the time I feel like I want to die and the other half, Im so overwhelmed with joy for living. its so beautiful to breathe and to dance and to hear birds in the morning. Im so lucky, to have a brain, that thinks so many cool things. I'm grateful to be alive. the bad feelings have held me back too much in life. I was drowning in them. overwhelmed by the noise. the compulsion to think. negative thoughts wouldn't shut up. it still gets hard. but the struggle is the water that will grow me. I want to be a good person. I want to develop my ego. stop feeling so inferior. and scared to take the actions to make a better world. scared that Im not good enough to do it. I cant even be persistent with working out, or learning guitar. how will I ever master anything. but Im not giving up. I still always pick back up the guitar at some point. and go to the gym. I can not be worried about all the humans around the world at once. which is what I do at times. I get worried that phones and social media, and the way the world is now, is changing kids brains in a way that may stunt them. and not even give them a fighting chance. to develop a brain that critically thinks, and desire to grow. rather have one that is lazy, and doesnt think a single original thought. 

[littlegoopz]

༊*·˚ 20 year old girl just trying to find her place in this world ੈ✩‧₊˚

✧.* hobbies: writing, reading, video games, visual novels, music, doll collecting, makeup, fashion, movies, anime, cartoons

✧.* favourite pastimes: yearning, daydreaming, sleeping, expressing my thoughts through journaling, listening to music & playing video games to drown out the voices, thinking about the fact that im just a pretty black girl with major daddy issues who’s hopelessly romantic yet hopelessly alone, lol

✧.* current favourite artists/bands: whatsaheart, sleeping with sirens, pierce the veil, 6arelyhuman, p1harmony, asteria, kets4eki, enhypen, stray kids, nosgov, horsegiirl

✧.* current favourite shows/movies: twilight, alice in borderland, mlp, monster high (g1 movies particularly), pearl

✧.* favourite doll lines/brands: pullip, blythe, monster high, disney (before y2k), mermaze mermaids, bratz, my scene, barbie, ever after high

✧.* favourite games/currently playing: ff7 remake, ff15, kingdom hearts, dramatical murder, collar x malice, diabolik lovers: haunted dark bridal/more blood, twisted wonderland, love & deepspace

✧.* favourite manga/anime: boys of the dead, caste heaven, mha, tokyo revengers, death note, chobits, rozen maiden, sailor moon

✧.* queer, though the only men i like are fictional or famous and unattainable because real men are terrifying…women only, here!

✧.* this blog is 18+ due to the fact that there may be some suggestive content…

✧.* my writing blog: @sanospet <33

⇢ ˗ˏˋ love, linus ࿐ྂ

[spilt2manysecrets]

"doesn't matter how many friends i have, truth is i'll sit down at 12am and the only face I see is me" - 8 billion people by Kiran + Nivi

mmmm lmao look at me on a rollercoaster

i was happy, i was deluluing but then i gave myself a reality slap... kinda funny, really.

now, i kinda beat myself down a little more than i intended to.

i was trying to just convince myself that my delulus were not true

but i kinda ended up going too far

and now hahaha lord it kinda hurts now.

i mean- im used to it, but it hurts

soooo, employing my psych lessons, i am utilizing my amazing coping methods. one of which being dandadadaaann

music

some songs i listen to when in this particular mood:

8 billion people - Kiran + Navi

To Die For - Sam Smith

Make it to me - Sam Smith

Gone Away - Stray Kids

Sorry, I Love You - Stray Kids

If Only - Dove Cameron

Wonder - Shawn Mendes

Heather - Conan Gray

Pasahili - Arthur Miguel

Message In A Bottle - Taylor Swift

Hitori No Yoru - TXT

All I Want - Olivia Rodrigo

Lily - Luck Life

Allergy - (G)I-DLE

Foolish One - Taylor Swift

Fallen - Lola Amour

T.A.N.G.A. - Yeng Constantino

you can really see the theme in all of these songs lmao

anywayyy- im about to perform for Beauty and The Beast

while drowning in my head

so wish me luck

and hope i dont have a breakdown on stage 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

bye byeee

[aquakrp]

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ㅡ actress kang hyewon ╱  little

ㅡ blackpink’s jennie kim ╱  camellia

ㅡ bts’ jeon jungkook ╱  swan

ㅡ cix’ kim seunghun ╱  GP

ㅡ fromis9′s park jiwon ╱  lesser man

ㅡ monsta x’s im changkyun (i.m)    ╱  drowning

ㅡ nct’s mark lee    ╱  miku

ㅡ stray kids’ seo changbin  ╱  goldfish

ㅡ twice’s sana minatozaki ╱  kraft

ㅡ txt’s choi yeonjun ╱  ivy

[jackalhadrurusluvr]

the mountain goats/the extra glenns (same singer) drive me crazy. their songs are so good. it makes me want to tear my hair out so damn bad.

like youre kidding. "wine and honey, lipstick and spit, youre coming through the door with a cigarette lit. and im not supposed to think your death wish is cool, but then i see you knocking back tequilas by the pool. i am the yellow rose, growing near the ground waiting to climb something." (jackals pov)

ill put that damn line here because i need to just. I NEED TO SAY THINGS OK. im loosing my mind here

this goddamn song. "and our love is a monster, plain and simple. though you weigh it down with stones to try to drown it, it floats. it floats." .... "the day of reckoning is coming, faster than anyone here realizes. and our love is like Jesus, but worse! though you seal the cave up where you've lain its body, it rises. it rises." ..... "I wish our love could go the way of all flesh, but it's not right and it's not nice, to try to kill the same thing twice."

both povs. they both try to kill the relationship, for the benefit of the other person. dune knows hs too dark in the soul, too cruel, too broken to see jackals hope for a better future. jackal knows that he cannot fulfill dune; he knows that he would choose seeking peace and joy than any singular person and that dune knows that, and that it destroys dune. guys.

"the snow was white and fluffy. a weekend in Utah won't fix what's wrong with us - the gray sky was vast and real cryptic above me," .... "Looked hard for what we'd lost. It was painful to admit it but we couldn't find a thing," .... "I wanted you to love me like you used to do," .... "But I cannot run, and I can't hide, from the wreck we've made of our house. From the mess inside."

both povs work here too. theyre both so desperate for some sort of salvation - for purpose, for a reward, for a sign theyre doing things right. theyve loved and lost so hard. so much is gone. their love was so much easier, purer when they were younger, before The Fires. theyve both changed so much theyre barely recognizable, and yet they love each other still. theres no running away. they have to face this life, head on

ok thats all the jackal/dune ones. but theyre like one of my fav artists so we're gonna go thru the songs on the other oc playlists.

jackal's first, naturally

"Feed the kittens in the kitchen, set food out for the strays. Try hard to do your best, the magpie will have his way," .... "By the full light of the moon, work all night if you have to. The magpie comes at noon," .... "Be ready and be brave! And remember what we had here, when there was something left to save."

jackal just works so hard. hes trying so hard to save this little desert town that mightve been doomed from the start. hes working so so hard. theres so little for him to grasp hope from; he doesnt know if his life will be in vain, if he'll accomplish nothing. and he sacrifices so much. so so much

jackal is depressed. hes going to make it through this year, even if it kills him. thats basically all :sob:

"You're gonna get a wrinkle on your forehead; you're gonna get a click in your knee. You're gonna tell the doctor that you can't sleep and you're up every night until three," .... "You're gonna make a bargain with the bad guys. You're gonna make some choices you regret, there's no place to hide from the prophecy," ..... "There's only one way out. I've been told there's only one way through, no matter what you do."

jackal is struggling. obviously. hes living such a Important life (prophecy mention, theres no escaping his fate mention). every thing he does has an effect. he has to keep going. he will keep going

dune next. naturally

"Got on the bus half drunk again, the driver glared at me. Met up with you in Inglis, thumbed a ride to Cedar Key. If we never make it back to California, I want you to know I love ya. But my love is like a dark cloud full of rain that's always right there up above you."

ok this song is also just... vibes. its snarly and rough and very Dune. but this last set of lyrics is real: its morbid and sad and just... Rough. its unhappy. its "i love you" and "if i die-" and "i know my love isnt what you deserve."

"I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam, and no one in her right mind would make my home her home. My heart's an autoclave," .... "When I try to open up to you I get completely lost. Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost. And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn, and there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn," ..... "On a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls. And the dream went on forever, one single static frame."

we all know dune is a massive mess. we all know his heart is all messed up and his feelings are fucked. he has lost so much of himself and has so little to give. the last line is there because the ocean is a very frequent symbol in their story and so i go :) ocean reference!

"Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel," .... "But I am just a broken machine and I do things that I don't really mean," .... "Long, black night! Morning frost, I'm still here - but all is lost," .... "Sad and angry, can't learn how to behave. Still won't know how in the darkness of the grave."

hes self destructive. hes suicidal. hes a wreck. he'll never be fixed. what more could a man ask for

"You can light a cigarettе against the cooktop if you need to. Feel the heat against your forеhead, let it bleed through. You're never gonna get by on three hours' sleep a night - unless you absolutely have to, and then you get by all right," .... "Move in silence if you can't stay still, nobody sees your face through the security grill."

the first two lines. are So Dune. he does such dumb, dangerous, self-destructive things all of the time. it grounds him. he desperately needs better coping mechanisms

ok im out of audio links i need another post.

another day another listening to "going to georgia" by the mountain goats bringing me to tears

its just so jackal/dune. told by dune's perspective.

like youre just kidding. youre fucking kidding me. the gun with a broken safety catch and aheart pumping blood. dunes missing the big hands, but everything else is so... painfully real. dune is so alive and so reckless. and dont. i cant even get started on the first part. I CANT. I CANNNNTTTT AHHHHH!!!!! dune feels In Motion Again when hes with jackal. oh my god i need to be sick. i need to. i need

i need to. i am gonna be sick. the most remarkable thing about you, standing in the doorway, is that its you. i. i dont think my body can physically handle listening to this song anymore it gets me so worked up. you smile as you ease the gun from my hand, and i am frozen with joy right where i stand. are you kidding me. jackal is always there to save dune from himself. dune loves him. he loves feeling looked after, he loves the protection. he loves jackal. jackal loves him. i cant take it anymore i cant. i cant i cant i cant. jackal/dune makes my heart ache and my chest hurt and all my muscles tense to the point i feel like if they loosen i will explode. i dont think anyone could ever understand what jackal/dune Means. its. guys.