#im an old bitch and i do not want people to see my post and use it to further seething rage that cuts them off from potential community

[huenistar]

the txt members as brainrot

(fuck @/always4gowon u trump supporting bitch i hope u and you mama fall down the fucking stairs, poorly educated prolly a casserole eater (white person) fuck. u dont understand how politics works and u should not have an opinion. i wouldnt be surprised if ur IQ was under 70 because ur dumbass self brings religion into politics but the thing is u believe in a religion that has more sexual abusers and pedophiles than normal, well educated, independent, mentally stable people thats js crazy imo!! hope u get mental help cause something aint right in ur brain, you think slower than the average person and i wouldnt be shocked if u was a white female who lives in Delaware. fuck your racist ass and fuck ur mama for raising you like that)

i dont fuck with the trump supporting individuals, this post WAS but is not inspired by anyone that i know of. idgaf if u “made” this trend or wtv, until u show and tell me you political beliefs and views this post is my idea idgaf

thank u for reading that and i dont give 2 shits if u agree or not, as a woc i have the right to say this idea is mine until you show that ur beliefs are the same as mine. im not giving any credit to a fucker who wants abortion gone, immigrants gone, groceries higher and who brings up religion when we are discussing something that could genuinely affect more than 3 billion lives

doing the txt members cause i didnt script a friend group in my txt dr, and no i do not affiliate myself with that weirdass ho. lets continue on though

YEONJUN | 연준

fein, lunchly, thats what they called me in highschool

“fein fein fein fein” how about u start feining for a job!!!! IM TIRED OF HEARING FEIN

“5 minutes before we go on stage” “fein fein fein fein fein fein feinnn ohhh yeah fein fein” i have unwillingly picked up this habit

“did u guys see that four legged beast over there” “thats what they called me in highschool”

i cant say Shit around rhis man without him saying “thats what they called me in highschool” YOU ARE 25 YEARS OLD.

“i like my cheese drippy bruh” how about i slap u into next week u poorly educated bafoon

SOOBIN | 수빈

gap gap wap wap, 𝓲𝓶 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓿𝓻𝓸, sigma/beta/alpha

2 am at the dorm, the sounds u will hear is

loud clicking noises (beomgyu playing games)

‘hmmm’ every 5 seconds (yeonjun deciding on what clothes to buy)

laughing and giggling (tyunning watching a tiktok together)

and soobin saying “gap gap wap wap” for the 289th time that day (KEEP IN MIND THAT ITS TWO AM.)

“𝓲𝓶 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓿𝓻𝓸” ur born in 2000 and im born in 2002 if we think harder about this i have the right to sue u

instead of u saying “𝓲𝓶 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓿𝓻𝓸” to me how about u get a girlfriend and say that to her u LOSER.

“ur definitely a beta and im definitely an alpha” im employed what does this mean?

“isn’t hueningkai so sigma” uhmmmmm what

BEOMGYU | 범규

livvy dunne, baby gronk, gyat, everything.

most brainrotted of them all. hes too far gone

“oh my gyat what the skibidi!! livvy dunne got a sigma gyat and vro i just saw this edit an epik moa made of me and i look like such a mogger in it instead of a POTATO ;-; 🤫🧏 THOSE WHO KNOW💀💀 gimme mah kookey :c”

he uses any and ALL brainrot from ALL OF THE YEARS. how are u using vro and talking like ur role playing in “Adopt and Raise a Cute Baby🏠” ???

nothing he says makes sense at this point.

TAEHYUN | 태현

i forgor, perchance, paracetamol, galvanized square steel

he’s secretly brainrotted dont let his magic tricks fool u.

“hey taehyun” “wait i forgor” “HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂”

it was a SPELLING MISTAKE. NOT ME ACTUALLY SAYING I FORGOR.

“i forgor but this might perchance be paracetamol” he MIGHT use sigma every once in a while

“paracetamol, paracetamol, perchance paracetamol”

LORDDDDD SHUTT ITTTT IVE BEEN HEARING GAP GAP WAP WAP, FEIN, GYAT, RIZZ, AND PARACETAMOL ALL DAY.

he tries to be all big, buff and mysterious but if u say perchance he bust out laughing and suddenly everyone can hear him.

he genuinely watches those galvanized square steel videos because he thinks he needs to know how to build a house for 1.982 decilion people.

“perchance this is galvanized square steel and can u get me some… i forgor oh i remember! can u get me some paracetamol?” and keep in mind, HES LAUGHING AS HES SAYING THIS ??

HUENINGKAI | hueningkai in kr

rizz, sus, BOII 🫱🫱🫱, 👌

ik u saw that clip of hueningkai saying taehyun is lizz king.

he uses rizz on a daily basis

“you have so much rizz on stage..” STOP IT.

“this is so sus.. like among us his evil laugh”

i fear he says “BOII” whenever hes playing games with yeonjun

“look at my shoes dude… 👌” you are 22 years old not 12 years old.

“should i turn to my left or right when i do this?” “ur left side looks so sus today.. ur right side has so much rizz!!!”

I ASKED YOU WHICH SIDE LOOKS BETTER NOT WHICH ONE HAS MORE RIZZ.

[softerseasons]

listen. my post about being shat on on the internet for advocating for a word to describe the specific ways transphobia and misogyny and queer discomfort with masculinity intersected for me is going around quite a bit more than i thought it would when i first made it to vent so I want to add for anyone who like, comes to see what else i've got going on:

i should have specified that i also didn't get to have that community also because i was isolated offline and the internet was my only option for queer communuty in my 20s, and there was so much infighting happening that it simply wasn't a good place to look for such things. i was intentionally isolated from everyone except my abuser for the first few years, and unintentionally isolated by my disabilities for the last several years. the internet did not reach out and snatch those opportunities away from me, it simply failed to be a replacement for what i couldn't have elsewhere.

this was never the fault of transfems, this was never the fault of other queer people. this was and always will be the fault of people of all stripes being jackasses on the internet. while these experiences Do translate offline, far more often than not other queer people offline do not have the time or energy to spare to be shitstains to other queer people of Any type, because we're all too busy trying to live in whatever way is going to be safest for us.

yeah, ive had shitty experiences with irl transfems. i've had shitty experiences with irl transmascs too. their queerness was not the cause of that, they were just shitty people. everyone does unfortunately have an equal opportunity to be an awful person. had i had the opportunity to be more involved in offline communities, this would not have been such an issue for me personally.

so like. support the people in your community. block people who piss you off online instead of engaging. spend that energy on something useful instead, like being a person who is enjoyable to be around, so that you can build that community for yourself. it's out there. yes your experiences are real and you should be able to talk about them but also you can just block the people who refuse to listen or who deliberately misinterpret you, i promise, because they are never going to be part of your community anyways.

peace

[luvevee]

It's pretty annoying having to scan basically every artist for i/cest shit in any media that has siblings because most of them hide it on alt accounts/platforms/sly tags and that's a big reason why I'm too burnt out on reblogging art

[ocdhuacheng]

the lady at the post office kept fucking everything up and being confusing but i forgot my mask at home like a fucking idiot so i didnt want to take the time to argue with her properly

[some-random-fandom-chick]

.

[moongay]

can’t stop thinking about the argument i had with my friend about swearing and nudity at pride

[youreverydayfangirl]

Cinnamon Girl

pairing: max verstappen x bakery owner! reader

summary: y/n yln owns a bakery in monaco, or in which people obsess over max's new girlfriend

warning: part of this series

a/n: thought this was pretty cute

flourandflowers has posted

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 5,867 others

flourandflowers spring has come, and so have our special spring pastries. come down for a taste of something yum.

tagged: yourusername

yourusername YUMMMM

user1 STOP I WISH I COULD GO BUT I DONT LIVE IN MONACO

user3 peep max in the likes

→ user4 he lives in monaco so thats probably why

yourusername has posted

liked by francisca.cgomes, maxverstappen1 and 12,964 others

yourusername he wanted to help out but failed miserably

yourbsfsusername please don't tell me you sold them

→ yourusername absolutely not they were barely good for human consumption

→ user1 😭😭😭

alexandrasaintmleux so cute

liked by creator

francisca.cgomes fav couple tbh

→ yourusername love you tbh

→ pierregasly excuse me

user2 THE WAGSS IN THE COMMENT SECTION

maxverstappen1 has posted two stories

caption1 podium 1!!!

caption2 the newest addition to our family

liked by yourusername, charlesleclerc and 456, 783 others

yourusername stop i miss you so much mon amour

maxverstappen1 i miss you more liefje

user1 OUR?? wdym by that

charlesleclerc still cant beleived you did this

charlesleclerc did OUR RELATIONSHIP mean nothing to you

maxverstappen1 you do know were not actually dating right?

charlesleclerc 😢

yourusername has posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux , maxverstappen1 and 25, 584 others

yourusername your girl is back

yourbsfusername smash tbh

→ yourusername yourbsfusername 🤤🤤

alexandrasaintmleux making me hungry

liked by creator

user1 user2 is this max's new gf

→ user2 yeah i think so

maxverstappen1 has posted

liked by charlesleclerc, yourusername and 544, 416 others

maxverstappen monaco 24

tagged: redbullracing

redbullracing 💪💪

charlesleclerc mate your really not subtle with it

→ landonorris no frfr

user1 pls charles and lando

f1updates has posted

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris and 21, 876 others

f1updates spotted 📸max verstappen with his rumored girlfriend y/n y/ln last night after the monaco grand prix. could this be a new romance brewing??

tagged: maxverstappen1 yourusername

user1 charles and lando camping out in the likes pls-

user2 she seems so sweet tbh. nice to see him w someone his age...

charlesleclerc how could you do this too us maxverstappen1

→ landonorris THE DISRESPECT

→ user3 HELP

yourusername has posted

liked by maxverstappen, yourbsfusername and 567, 897 others

yourusername cats out of the bag i guess ft max try not to wear a cap challenge Imposible

tagged: maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 liefje 💙

→ yourusername 💙💙

→ user1 NOT THE BLUE HEARTS

yourbsusername cuties

liked by creator

charlesleclerc stole my bitch

→ yourusername im just better

→ alexandrasaintmleux true

→ charlesleclerc BETRAYED by my own girlfriend

landonorris WOW TrUlY a SuPrIsE

→ user2 bros DoNe

user3 I KNEW IT OMG

user4 paddock appearance when

maxverstappen 1 has posted

liked by yourusername, landonorris 847, 394 others

maxverstappen1 wouldn't have it anyother way

tagged: yourusername

yourusername SAPPY OLD MAN

liked by creator

yourusername but i love you 💙

liked by creator

redbullracing new wag alert

charlesleclerc i thought we meant something

user1 someone explain to me how MAX pulled y/n when she's that fit

yourusername has posted two stories

caption 1 off we gooo

caption 2 podium two baby😮‍💨

yourusername has posted

liked by maxverstappen1, alexandrasaintmleux and 54, 689 others

yourusername me, my boyfriend, my boyfriends boyfriend and his girlfriend (my wife) #lestappen

tagged: maxverstappen1, charlesleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux

maxverstappen1 💙💙

liked by creator

→ landonorris we've lost him boys

charlesleclerc um THE CAPTION

→ yourusername what its true 🤷 #lestappen

→ yourusername stay made that you have to thirdwheel both

alexandrasaintmleux WIFEY 💍💍

→ yourusername WIFEYYYY

user1 STOP I LOVE THIS DYNAMIC ALREADY

user2 MAX SHES SO CUTE

maxverstappen has posted

liked by yourusername, charlesleclerc and 730, 934 others

maxverstappen liked her so much i decided to put a ring on it

tagged: yourusername

yourusername mon amor

→ maxverstappen1 💙💙

yourusername i taught you well

liked by creator

alexandrasaintmleux stole my wife smh 😒

→ yourusername lets just run away together

charlesleclerc YOUR ABANDONING ME

→ yourusername yes and?

→ maxverstappen1 acting as if you weren't there

redbullracing 💍🍾

schecoperez congratulations mate

user1 WHAT OMGGGG

user2 HELP the diversity in responses

user3 how long have they been dating?

user4 the beyonce reference 😭

→ yourusername feeling like a proud mama hen

yourusername has posted

liked by maxverstappen1, alexandrasaintmleux and 45, 687 others

yourusername two years later...

tagged: maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 ik hou meer van jou dan van wat dan ook (i love you more than anything)

→ yourusername when he speaks dutch for you🤭>>

charlesleclerc happy for you guys

→ yourusername acting as if you weren't sobbing yourself to sleep

alexandrasaintmleux congratulations you two

→ yourusername THANKS WIFEY

francisca.cgomes most beautiful couple

→ yourusername much love kika😚😚

user1 THEY"VE BEEN DATING FOR TWO YEARS

user2 maybe they are low key

user3 the gasp i just gasped

_____________________________________

a/n: thought this was pretty cute actually

[butevrythinggoesaway]

"hE dOeSN't SoUnd LIke a tEEnaGeR" NOT ALL FUCKING TEENAGERS SOUND LIKE TODDLERS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. THEY GAVE HIM THE VOICE BECAUSE OOH FUNNY MEME MAN MILES, GWEN AND PENI ARE VOICED BY ADULTS THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEIR CHARACTERS ARE

Sorry I'm having a fucking Lou moment

Unpopular opinion but I don't think Nicholas Cage was the best option for Noir's voice

[love-belle]

you are my sunshine !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's their sunshine and it's sunshine's birthday.

or

for when you find the people you can call home. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this one!!! also, i have more than 20+ requests in my inbox at the moment so if you've requested something, it may take some time for me to post them, so sorry about that ://// thank u so much for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, alex_albon and 863,229 others

yourusername the kind of radiance u only have at (23) 17

6,528 comments

username OH MY GOD

username HELLO??????

username SO FUCKING PRETTY I SCREAMED

username lando. me n u. mcdonald's parking lot. ur catching these hands.

carmenmmundt happiest birthday to my fav person EVER!!! i love you so much baby, thank you for always fixing everything with just a smile ❤️❤️❤️

-> yourusername CARMEN IM GONNA CRY??? i love you so so so so so much like ur like my fav person ever thank u ❤️❤️❤️

username HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN ❤️‍🩹

*liked by yourusername*

username dumped my bf for u omg

username THE TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS

username hahahahahah!!!!! just fell in love!!!!!!!!

username my bisexual awakening

alex_albon hbd.

-> yourusername ty.

-> username not these two acting they're they're not BEST friends 😭😭😭

username lando just so u know it's OUR girlfriend now

username JAW DROPPED

lilymhe been looking at this for 10 mins

-> yourusername blushing omg

lilymhe u lowk need to find another caption for ur bday post bc u have been using this since u turned 17

-> yourusername it's my bday leave me ALONE

username SHE'S SO PRETTY LIKE IM SO AHHHSHSH

username happiest bday to one who made lando a simp 😌 we love u so much

username i want her so bad

landonorris HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEE YOU SO MUCH

-> yourusername LANDO THANK U SO MUCH I LOVE YOU

landonorris hahahaha can i get your no. are you single are you free this friday do you have a boyfriend

-> yourusername i have a girlfriend lilymhe

-> lilymhe back off norris

-> landonorris wow.

username genuinely in awe rn LIKE

lewishamilton happiest birthday y/n 🤍 have the best day ahead!! cannot wait to see you and lando tonight!!

-> yourusername LEWIS THANK U ‼️‼️‼️ see u tonight im so excited 🔥🔥🔥

username she's so girlboss i love her

username HER.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 986,318 others

landonorris happiest birthday to my person, my love, my y/n. you're easily the most sunshine-y person i have ever met and i love you so much, even if you love lily more than me. i remember telling you about my favourite flower and the very next day, you showed up with a bouquet full of white roses and a cheesy card and that was when i knew that i wanted to spend all of my lifetimes with you. here's to growing old but never growing up. have the happiest day ahead, darling ❤️

tagged yourusername

username ask me if im ok

-> username are u ok

-> username BITCH NO

username SOVBINF

username babe wake up new y/n pics just dropped

pierregasly happy birthday to the actual goat 🐐

*liked by yourusername*

username the caption has me rolling on the floor

username dead deceased six feet under decomposed decaying gone

username they're so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

lilymhe glad u acknowledged her loving me more than u

-> landonorris you're still banned from our home

-> yourusername no she's not. lily ❤️❤️❤️

-> landonorris and to think i spent half an hour to choose these photos..

-> yourusername sorry babe 🫤

username SHE'S SO SUNSHINE GIRLY

username MOTHER

username she could step on me and i would say thank u

charles_leclerc the og queen 🔥

*liked by landonorris*

username MY PERSON MY LOVE MY Y/N

username further proof of if he wanted to he would

yourusername brb sobbing

-> landonorris OMG PLEASE DON'T

yourusername omg

yourusername ahahahahahaha i love you???

-> landonorris i love you.

yourusername thank u thank u thank u

yourusername frrr ur the best part of my life, ur what i imagined daylight to be like thank u for making me the happiest idk how i got so lucky with u

-> landonorris i love you ❤️

username shakespeare's been real quiet since lando wrote this caption

username they're MY parents

username MY Y/N

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 782,825 others

lilymhe to my soul sister, my best friend, my partner in crime, my 3am call since forever, happy happy happy birthday, my love. there's good in this world and i found a LOT of it in you, thank you so much for being my sunshine on days where everything got too hard. i love you so much, to the moon and to saturn. ( landonorris, suck on the caption)

tagged yourusername

username OH MY GOD

username THE CAPTION HELLO

username i sobbed ngl

username MY SOUL SISTE MY BEST FRIEND MY PARTNER IN CRIME MY 3AM CALL SINCE FOREVER

carmenmmundt 🤍🤍🤍

*liked by lilymhe*

username gfs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username i love them sm wtf

username NOT HER TAGGING LANDO

-> username their (fake) beef is too funny like 😭😭😭😭

francisca.cgomes missing you both so much!!!

-> lilymhe can't wait to see you next week <3

username the wags being best friends ❤️❤️❤️

username this post gave me sm serotonin thank u

username Y/N IS THE DEFINITION OF SUNSHINE GIRLY AND I LOVE HER SM FOR THAT

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️🫤🫤🫤😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

alex_albon i better be getting a caption this long on my bday

-> lilymhe we'll see

-> yourusername just accept that i'm her fav ❤️

username I LOVE THEM SM

username women friendships are so precious to me like ❤️❤️❤️

username further proof that love stories are not always romantic

*liked by yourusername and lilymhe*

landonorris fuck you stop trying to steal my girlfriend

-> lilymhe *OUR girlfriend

-> yourusername love all of my bitches equally ❤️

username HER TAGGING LANDO IS SENDING ME 😭😭😭😭😭

yourusername do u want me to cry???? lily i love you so much ❤️❤️❤️ thank u so much for always being there for me like i don't know what i did so good in my past life to have YOU as my best friend but i'm so glad i do, i love you ❤️

-> lilymhe i love you so much bae ❤️❤️❤️

username their friendship is so pure like

username lando and alex who???? it's y/n and lily

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe and 798,928 others

alex_albon happy birthday to the only person i'd want to sit beside me in prison. thank you so much for years of memories, laughing till we cried, going on stupid adventures together that got us yelled at by lily and here's to a lot more. i love you, i guess, even though you made my girlfriend love you more. have a good one, you stupid. time to start buying anti-wrinkle cream.

tagged yourusername

6,728 comments

username HELP OMG

username the WILD contrast between lily's and alex's caption

username NO BC THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS GOALS LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

danielricciardo "stupid adventures" and it's just the august incident.

-> yourusername OMG THE AUGUST INCIDENT

-> lewishamilton we agreed not to speak of that x

-> georgerussell63 alex and y/n have done questionable shit growing up but the august incident will forever top the list

-> carlossainz55 that was scary, no?

-> landonorris I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT

-> maxverstappen1 no because charles almost cried

-> charles_leclerc I DID NOT

-> pierregasly you did, mate

-> alex_albon we DON'T talk about it

-> lilymhe still disappointed in all of you

-> username WHAT IS THE AUGUST INCIDENT

-> username HELLO???? WE NEED DETAILS????

-> username nah bc what'd they do 😭😭😭

username this caption made me drop to the floor and roll down the stairs

username BEST FRIENDS

username no bc they're definitely the kind of duo that would go to jail and get bailed out by their partners

-> username lily would SO be the disappointed mom and gf

-> username meanwhile lando is just along for the ride

username LILY ALEX Y/N LANDO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

username NOT ANTI WRINKLE CREAM

lilymhe of COURSE she loves me more than she loves you, have you seen me???

-> yourusername i have and let me tell you, woah.

-> lilymhe 😘

-> alex_albon out of my comment section you hoes

username LILY AND Y/N WILL FOREVER BE THE SUPERIOR DUO

username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username WORM ON THE STRING

-> username they're so unserious i love them

landonorris my girl my girl my girl my girl my girl ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> alex_albon you're literally sitting on her lap rn

-> landonorris ok and?

-> username LANDO SITTING ON HER LAP HELP

-> username nah it's cause it's so babygirl like ❤️❤️❤️

-> username real like ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username i love their friendship ur honour

yourusername thank you for making the best decision of ur life and meeting lily, it's bc of u that i found my wife ❤️❤️❤️ forever grateful dude

-> alex_albon no problem bro

yourusername and thank u for listening to me shit talk about people i hate and then shit talking with me

-> alex_albon our shit talking sessions are so fun, we're so mean and i love that

username I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THIS WTF

username AHHSHHSHDBXBXNDNS

[oceansprompts]

text message prompts

[text] You okay?

[text] GO TO BED!

[text] hey you better be alive in there

[text] SOS save me please holy shit

[text] call me this date is going so bad

[text] I have way too much shit to do.

[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).

[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.

[text] It's not going to work out.

[text] This is a terrible idea.

[text] people have fetishes

[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh

[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you

[text] That movie was awful.

[text] For the love of god please help me

[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

[text] I'm blocking you.

[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH

[text] I regret swiping right.

[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.

[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil

[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

-

[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up

[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain

[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.

[text] have you gotten any work done?

[text] I am beyond shame, try again

[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.

[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.

[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky

[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.

[text] Jealous of my massive honkers

[text] We left you to die to play minecraft

[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.

[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit

[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.

[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?

[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk

[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?

[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.

[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?

[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!

[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?

[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet

[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person

[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.

-

[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.

[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.

[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.

[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.

[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..

[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.

[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.

[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.

[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.

[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.

[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.

[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.

[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?

[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.

[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.

[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!

[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.

[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?

[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?

[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.

[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.

[astroohoe]

Astro observations

Hi! I know its been a while since i posted ...was going through some thangs loll now let's get to itttt.

•Gemini women loves to gossip lol. They can literally be gossiping about you while youre literally there, they do not care if you hear or not . Honestly, i think the end goal was for you to hear theyre talking shit about you lol

•Gemini women have anger issues. They're really HOT TEMPERED and you can hear it from the top of their voice it's soooo bad😑

•Virgo women are mean 😑...most people dislike virgo women because they can criticize you, judge you all day and it might even seem like they bullying you lol...im a virgo myself and i don't even like most of the virgo women ive met ........they're personality is just 100% TRASH and they're sooo blunt eiiii😂😂😂

Ex:Beyonce in destinys's child...lol search for her old interviews with the...girl has been judging them all day😂 and the SHADE she used to give to them!! Guuuuuuuuurl was shady aslllll😂😂😂😂

•Taurus women are GOLDIGERS

•Aries sun men are selfish sometimes, they'll choose themselves first and you'll be soooo surprised😂

•Scorpio men are SENSITIVE! DRAMA KINGS ALL DAY...I swear I've never seen a man act sooooo petty and a bitch at the same time lol.

•Scorpio men are caring

•Scorpio men love love and loves the idea of love and a relationship lol they cant be single for oneday, always looking .

•Grown Capricorn men are 100% PREDATORY🙄

•Pieces men literally have a phase in their early 20's where they're just HOES and a menace in their relationships🤣😭😭😭 they could be dating three of four girls at the time and you wont even figure it out..that Neptune energy blurs all the lies..it makes them a GOOD LIAR and skilled at it....they can even gaslight you when you ask them if they are cheating on you...but when they grow in their 40's they actually STEP UP as MEN .they can literally reject girls to tell them im married and i love me wife..so be patient...They're also EXTREMELY LOVING AND SELF SACRIFICING 🥰🥰🥰🥰

.Pieces venus and mars knows how to give love, lol they're soooooo sweet. You're lucky to have a Pieces venus a bf or gf they know how to love.

•Virgo venuses are hoes100%

•Aquarius women are hypocrites but solo beautiful. They are shady friends and good at stealing peoples husbands and boyfriends....they're NOT that good of a people tbh.

•Sagitarrius women are thee most intelligent in the class followed by Capricorn women. They always get good grades . lol are you messing with a half horse half human and LITERALLY THE GOAT??😂😂😂 at you dumb??

•EARTH SIGNS WOULD ROAST YOU...YOU REALLY DO NOT WANT THE SMOKE WITH THEM....ESPECIALLY WITH TAURUS MEN...THEY WILL ROAST YOU TO EVEN END UP GETTING PLASTIC SURGERY

•Capricorn men can insult you on every deeper level.

•Virgo women have a sharp tongue and they can literally plan on revenging you honestly...im even scared of earth signs they're not to be played with .

•Sagitarius women see LITERALLY every women as they're competion...why??? They are one of theee most jealous signs EVER...LIKE??

•Gemini women are annoying tbh😑

•Capricorn girls were the mean girls in school 100%

•Aquarius mercuries have a smart mouth and a sooooo intelligent.

•Cancer women are soooo feminine...and extremely funny ...my beauties>>>>>>

•LEOS are soooooo motherly😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 like, i love y'all

•Aries and Libra....why do y'all like each other sooooo much??...and most of the times , it is the libras who chases the Aries suns...The libra men are sooooo obsessed with the Aries woman, or Aries rising lol....

So thats it forrrrr meeeee ......hope you enjoyed? Byeeee

[b4tasquad]

HBD: NIKO OMILANA SMAU

authors: just became so tempted to do a social media au since i’ve never done one and it was so fun doing it🤷‍♀️ also you can picture someone else than the face claim, im just using Maia as inspo

summary: basically y/n’s boyfriend doing her dirty on her birthday and the internet finding it funny

face claim: maia reficco

Niko made a post

liked by yourusername, ajshabeel and 343,000 others

niko these pics give off the same vibe and now im starting to question how old my gf actually is… but happy birthday baby! im so lucky to have you and I hope you know i love you lots. hope you have the best birthday and here’s to 23?? not quiet sure anymore🤣

view all 754 comments

omilana fan

violating on her birthday is actually next level crazy

↳ betasquad1 I feel like his hand itches if he doesn’t get in his daily insult😭

yourusername

no because this is so uncalled for? i literally rubbed your ashy feet last night🤨 YOU SHOULD BE PRAISING ME

↳ niko why’d you have expose my feet like that cmon

↳ yourusername bitch you have no room to complain about exposing…

Yourusername this pic is edited i swear i don’t look like that

Ajshabeel

guys she looks like this every morning i see it first hand sadly

↳ yourusername shut up Aj😐 people were believing me

↳ y/nfann no we weren’t…

Y/n posted to their story!

↳ Niko

pretty girll

yourusername

stfu

ajshabeel posted to their story!

↳ yourusername

posting such horrendous pictures on my birthday.. i’m sueing

it’s like you want me to end my living streak??

ALSO YOURE NOT SLICK I had to zoom in and learn to read pixels but I LOVE YOU TOO YOU EMOTIONAL LITTLE GUY🫶🫶🫶

ajshabeel

it actually says i hate you

yourusername

you just gotta ruin everything😒

Niko made a post

liked by yourusername, chunkz and 789,000 others

Niko dw guys i made sure her birthday was unforgettable😌

comments have been disabled

taglist

@p3drii , @jiusz , @n1kodl , @shuuuuush , @w1shes43 , @alltoowill0w , @slutforpablogavi , @enhacolor , @allygatcr , @romanlawkickingmyassrn , @randomhoex , @batmansb1tch , @jamespotterssidepiece , @Eatmybootyhair , @distantfromu

[wisteriaphobia]

Alright time to come out, not out of the closet, but I am Nat (Or Lilnatx) . I wanted to come here and share my story or fairy tales if you don't like me. I was a part of “clique 1”

Not to use my age like a pokemon card but I am 15, and I don't care what you have to say to me personally but I'm sick and tired of my name being dragged through the mud and being used as a scapegoat. But I have lots of pent up anger that I didn't have the privilege of saying.

April 3rd was the day I was banned from nevermore, with no proof. Like at all, I'm still bamboozled and scratching my head like a monkey on what was actually on me and my friends. We were accused of “shit talking” and I have yet to see the shit that we have allegedly talked about.

And honestly? Even if I did shit talk people, why… in a conversation about a predator … does that matter? I'm exhausted with how Red always fights with teenagers (like me) and other friends of mine. It's so despicable that the minions might just leave Gru for her instead. I was in gym class when I got banned and honestly? I would rather get banned 10 more times than do another plank for 2 minutes while seeing my P.E teacher's bald head.

My crimes that I did publicly (in the screenshot that red posted) is me being.. not fucking involved? Right before I got banned I was staying away from people that I previously did not enjoy and in fact I tried my best to not interact with them directly. At one point I had many members blocked on my discord because I was tired of being the villain.

Yet here I am in the year of our lord July of 2024 and people are still referring to my friends as “nats clique” like I said earlier im 15, quince. I have little power over my friends' actions , especially if they're an adult. I can barely get Laci to join me on Minecraft let alone make her collaborate on some high tech scheme, what is this shit? Oceans 11?

I find it petty that red refers to my friends as a “clique” we're a friend group, and the definition of a clique requires a group that's hard to get into. The server (until now) was open, you could pull up to Jinx's profile like a McDonald's drive through and get an invite. Our friend group was constantly expanding and if you personally felt like you were scared to talk to us, I'm sorry that you never experienced the poop closet jokes.

Red being paranoid about what a bunch of teenagers were maybe saying behind her back to deflect about crimson is quite irresponsible I do say so myself. So please Red! With a cherry on top! Show me what I did to you. What sin have I committed on your ego that should banish me to hell. Because I sure as hell don't know what I've done, (and you can quote this) you probably don't know what I've done either, because you made it all up.

Unfortunately I have no screenshots to give, because my phone storage is ass. But you can hit up any of the members of my clique for proof regarding my innocence. I promise I'm not an evil bitch who wants to ban you (not evil not evil no I'm the least evil person I know)

I'm sorry if this response upsets you, but if a 15 year old girl who ships who chicks bothers you so much. Imagine how I feel, imagine now so many people who once looked up to you feel. Everyone in your post looked up to you once as a role model, and have had panic attacks and stress because (allegedly) you harmed them with your cruel words. You can think it's your fault or not that's not my problem.. but for someone who wants evidence and proof 24/7 you sure like to not give out proof of anyone else.

P.S if you were anyone who gave red evidence of my wrong doings, can I see them? Cause I don't know what I have done.

P.P.S I'm not a man, and I write fanfiction of lesbian vampires.

P.P.P.S this is so not sigma that I gotta make this response

[nmakii]

ALL BECAUSE I LIKED A BOY?

— watching your life falling into catastrophe before your eyes. all because of a boy, because of oikawa tooru.

— fem!reader, oikawa lowk just plot device, vent draft 🤨, its me im reader, nonfiction 🤣, reader highk whipped

a/n: dawg… just had liek the WORST day at school tfff my whole lunch table dropped me can’t believe i wasted ingredients on a bitch that cant even return my chinese textbook 😒

oikawa tooru has a lot of fans. even that might be an understatement. but, it’s true nonetheless. even you’ve fallen for that cheeky loser’s spell.

in your defense, there are many things to love about him; how funny he is, how much he cares, how devoted he is, not to even mention his looks.

so, yes, you may have fallen for him. a lot of girls have.

“but it’s different this time. we have the chemistry. if he wasn’t so busy with training, if i’d be able to run into him again and hang out with him, then i’m sure he’d feel the same way.” you tell your friends over lunch. one of them scoffs. “suuuure, keep telling yourself that. i watched that latest game he played in, there were at least 10 other girls who were thinking the same thing.”

“you don’t get it, you just don’t get it! we have so many mutual friends, it’s almost as if we were meant to meet, y’know?” you explain, sounding almost desperate as your heart stirs thinking about him.

and, among the many exploits you did to impress him, you started doing volleyball. “s/o-chann! what are you doing here?” oikawa walks over to you, new kneepads in hand. “oh— hey! just buying some things.” you explain to him, handing the cashier some money as they wrap up your new volleyball. “what about you?”

“ahh, just getting some new gear since mine is getting pretty old… i never knew you did volleyball!” he notices things quickly. “well, yeah… i just have a lot on my plate, so i don’t do it as often anymore.” you tell him. “really noww? well, we should play together, okay?” he offers, a competitive edge in his voice.

oh my god. this is your chance to hang out with him. sure, this was what you were hoping for, but not right now… what if you fail to serve so miserably that he ends up laughing at you? but, again, it’s hanging out with him!

“sure! i’m down to play!” you quickly recover from your anxious thoughts. “erm— while we’re both here, you wanna hang out for a while?” you ask, words falling out of your lips without your own accord. “aww, no can dooo… i’m here with iwa-chan, and he’s gonna get mad at me if i bring a girl back with meee…” he pouts. “next time though! i won’t go easy on you!” he laughs before waving you goodbye.

next time.

that meant he wanted to see you. right?

“ughhh, enough about oikawaaaaa… he’s not even that cute, you’re far too good for him.” your friend frowns. you do talk about him too much, but what’s there not to love? all that could spill from your mouth were words of love for him. she was probably sick of it, your whole class was probably sick of it. so many people knew of your crush on him, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he knew and decided to just ignore it.

you couldn’t help it, you just loved him so much.

but, nothing ever came out of it.

he continued with his life, and you moved on with your’s.

soon enough, all the love in your heart for him was drained from his lack of reciprocation. you couldn’t blame him, he has so many fans, it wouldn’t be fair to pay attention to just one.

but still, even if he never got to be your boyfriend, you still got a best friend.

“agh!! s/o-chan, don’t, i look ugly right nowww!” oikawa whines as he runs away from your phone camera, nimbly maneuvering himself through the convenience store’s thin aisles. “come back ‘kawa!” you catch up to him, pulling on his arm so he couldn’t run away and snapping a blurry photo of his face.

“noo, s/o-chan, don’t post it!!” oikawa shakes his head in distress, trying to grab your phone. “too late!” you laugh, hitting post on your new story, oikawa tagged. oikawa falls on top of your body, trying to grab your phone. “delete!” he demands, trying to reach for the phone you held up in the air while keeping you stuck on the ground.

you laugh at his feeble attempts, politely waving hello to one of your classmates walking into the store. “get up!! you’re so embarrassing, ‘kawa!” you try to push him off.

it was a good day, a really good day.

even without that romantic chemistry, there was definitely something between you two. and, everyone could feel it; the way conversation just flowed so naturally between you two when you were simply being yourselves, it was like breathing after drowning for so long.

it was like laughing for the first time. you’ve never gasped for air so much as you did when you were with him.

just friends now, nothing more. and, that’s okay.

the next day, you’d walked into school, still happy from the fun you had after school yesterday. when you overheard someone’s conversation.

‘you know, s/o from class 3-3 is lowkey… so loud. all she talks about is boys. it’s like she thinks she’s someone special.’ you hear someone snicker.

‘her hair is so bad… it’s like… why would she go out looking like that?’ you hear from the long haired brunette in front of you, turning her head to look at you not so subtly.

‘she thinks she’s so funny… she needs to learn when to shut up…’

where did all this come from?

you frown as you try to get along with your day. it’s still alright though, even if most of the school population is against you, you still have your friends.

“s/o, we took a vote and most of us don’t want to eat lunch with you anymore.” your friend tells you, if you can still even call her your friend. the shock can barely even register before you nod. “oh. alright then.” you take your things to eat on one of the benches at school.

“ah! s/o-chan, what are you doing hereee?” oikawa sees you, staring daggers into the gardens. “huh? oh, i…it’s nothing…” you mumble. “don’t you have your own lunch table? why’re you here all aloneeee?” he asks.

and that’s when it finally sank in.

“i just wanted a change of scenery today, i’m okay.” you assure him, using all your willpower to hide the tears that threaten to fall out. oikawa frowns, feeling as if there’s something else, but decides not to pursue it. “hmm, okayyyy… well, if that’s all, i guess there’s no problem. i’m gonna go eat now then!” oikawa waves goodbye, on his way to iwaizumi’s table.

and when he’s finally gone, is when you finally let all the tears fall. this is such a stupid thing to cry about… being kicked out of a lunch table? there are so many other problems you could cry about…

you go to the bathroom to splash some water on your face, eyes all puffy from crying. when you get back to your classroom, you see two of your friends, or… ex-friends. it’s just for a split second, but they run out the other side of the classroom, trying to avoid you.

what was all this even for? because of being friends with a boy you liked? you never even dated, so what harm was done?

you’re so many things; smart, athletic, quite awfully pretty as well. you have your own interests, hobbies, and likes. why do you have to be reduced to liking oikawa? sure, you did talk about him an awful lot, but never recently.

“why did everything go wrong?

all because i liked a boy?”

[poopingonthefloor]

Davesport is Toxic NOT abusive

(((WARNING: PRETTY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT.))) I've seen some people making the claims that Davesport is comship/proship (ok well i've more seen people bitching about it) and im tired of the Davesport slander so this will be an analysis of their relationship. My motive isn't to force anyone to ship it or anything- i really dont care what you do with your life, my frustration is just when people try to make up REASONS why they don't like the ship, even though its literally canon (and not badly written). My main point is -- You can hate what you want. You don't need a reason, and it doesn't need to be bad just because you don't like it. But I will not take any slander on their ship nor any slander of people who like davesport. Davesport is absolutely toxic-- No DSAF fan would disagree. They are literally child murderers with little to no souls and literally are physically disfigured to the point they don't have the capacity to feel proper humanity anymore. You cant expect 2 men who live their lives willingly murdering and then partying in vegas to celebrate on repeat to be gentle and kind to themselves or anyone else.

However, its NOT abusive. I've seen multiple people (mostly from twitter screenshots) claim that Davesport is abusive or the way people portray it is in a fetishy or romanticizing way of abuse, when that's just not the case. I don't blame a lot of people, since a lot of it comes from reading context and intent of the artist, which not everyone is good at-- BUT I'm here to assure you that MOST people don't intend to do that much and just like to portray how their dynamic is canonically like or portray Daves obsession with Jack. Another argument I've seen (by a twitter screenshot...) is that people are comshipping Davesport because people draw Jack annoyed a lot at Dave when...thats not true? That's just Jack's personality, first off:

(From the Dave x Reader fanfic by Directdoggo)

"Jack is a bastardman not very touchy-feely. We can see this in many scenes, where Dave more or less says “I love you” and Jack responds with deflecting humour, or outright scorn. When Dave says it for the final time, this time, Jack tries to say it back, but can’t outright, only getting out: “Why is this so hard?” and “I hope you can find peace with what you’ve done.” Which Dave understood the meaning of. (Hey, better than Henry (LEGACY Jack) hearing “I love you” and proceeding to tear Dave limb from limb, huh?"

(Directdoggo describing Jack's personality)

I know it can be a little confusing to some people, but as someone who struggles with similar issues, just because he struggles to express intimately doesn't mean he can't love anything. Sometimes people are just different and communicating like that doesn't come as easily, even to the people you're closest to. To make it as easy as possible to comprehend-- He's quite literally a tsundere. (Minus the exaggerated ridiculousness in anime) He loves Dave, he just cant bring himself to say or act like it. The dismissiveness or rudeness in response to Dave's affection is not abuse, it's just a defensive response since he doesn't know how to say it back. (His way of being "shy") -- Also note its important that Dave UNDERSTANDS this about him by that point.

However Jack isn't the only thing I've seen regarding the claims that their ship is abusive-- and to debunk all of those I'm going to explain the three points that keep Davesport from being abusive, and I'll use Henry x Dave (which is what I'll call it to prevent it getting confused for FNAF willry) as an example alongside it since its super obvious why that one is messed up. Firstly, They are both bad people. By this point, Dave and Jack are murderers. It's just not surprising that they will be willing to kill each other at at least some point, considering they are willing to kill 5 year olds without remorse- and they'll both deserve it. It's only their own faults that they teamed up with the other, and it's meant to be the ultimate irony when Jack becomes even worse than Dave by "An ending". My point is- they're bad people. It's not like they're owed perfect company or would choose wholesome people to hang out with when they're literally both child murderers. Dave wasn't evil and didn't want to kill by the time he teamed up with Henry (and even after it was Henry's fault), so by that point his suffering was absolutely undeserved.

Secondly, They're lacking any specific power dynamic. Unlike Henry and Dave- whom have several levels of "Age, Father figure, and Employer", the most important one is that Henry is Dave's abuser. He manipulated him and purposefully harmed him both mentally and physically, whereas Dave never had any intention of doing either because Dave loved him and didn't want to lose him (because he had nobody else) This obviously much different with Dave and Jack, whom other than being taller and several years older than (which you can argue their 6 year age gap is weird but they didnt get to know each other till they were both older than 30 so by that point age difference doesnt rlly matter and (also theyre "mentally" like 24 and 22 canonically anyways (as much as I usually hate that argument)) Other then that they are only co-workers. This is a bit more arguable during DSAF 1, where Dave comes across more threatening and comes across like he's manipulating Jack, but I don't exactly count that because I wouldn't say theyre "shippable" or in their "situationship*" by that point (but also because them even being a ship was barely considered by the creator at that point obviously)-- whereas Dave is certainly more easily recognized as sincere to Jack in DSAF 2. Jack also is not someone who is afraid to defend himself against Dave, as shown by the fact he's willing to call out Dave's ridiculous behaviors (which is reasonable of him to do).

(Also from the Dave x reader fanfic) (I just think this specific screenshot debunks any sort of "power dynamic" claim)

My Third and Final point: There is a CHOICE involved I haven't really done much Dave defense in this post, but his defense is very simple: He is literally physically unable to comprehend guilt or conscience. Dave didn't want to murder anyone in the first place, but it was Henry who fucked with his (literal) head so much to the point he stopped being able to feel guilt. He doesn't care about murder and doing wrong because he CAN'T care. You can't really let that reflect Dave as a character when he's really not in control of himself in the first place. Now with that, that doesn't change the fact he could certainly affect and hurt people, and it's fully up to Jack as to whether or not he wants to deal with this purple man's freakish life choices and hobbies or not. And that's honestly super dependent on the ending you decide to base Jack on. Most people see the 'canon' endings to be: Gnarly ending (DSAF 1) -> An ending (DSAF 2) -> Good ending (DSAF 3) Where in all of these, Jack DOES choose to deal with Dave and basically is completely cool with murder. You don't have to follow those endings if you don't want to, but that's just typically what the modern "Davesport" is known for, but its what I'm using for my defense (considering this is a defense of both fandom and canon Davesport.) Though as opposed with Henry and Dave- Dave had no choice. Henry only ever manipulated him into thinking he did, and Henry made sure to feed this whole 'we will be a family' ideal into Dave (who never had one) so that Dave would be terrified to lose him. Jack never manipulates Dave (when teamed up with him), and Dave never manipulates Jack (tho arguable in DSAF 1 as well). They stay with each other despite all of their issues, and I believe its due to some co-dependency (imo I think Jack is also obsessed with Dave just in a different way before DSAF 3) Which isn't healthy, but not...inherently abusive.

I believe my main three points kind of cover the most of why I dont consider Davesport to be inherently a bad ship, but like I said- if you don't like it, none of that matters anyways. You dont NEED a reason to like something, and I wont try to convince you why you should ship something because I like it. Just don't hate it just because of what someone else says-- 90% of the dsaf fandom aren't comshippers, and Davesport isn't gross or "toxic /neg" just because it's not healthy. I think "Don't fetishize/romanticize literal abuse like its normal or sexy" and "We should explore more complicated and unhealthy dynamics" can and SHOULD coincide with each other!!!! I think Davesport is great because of how bittersweet it is that these two people finally found solace and acceptance in each other but couldn't get past the self-sabotaging nature of what Henry turned them both into, ultimately making it impossible to work out forever. I think embracing the Davesport makes the (kind of aged) trilogy a lot more enjoyable of an experience and I DO encourage any davesport skeptics to keep an open mind. [Pretend I wrapped this up super nicely I can never do that--- Also this is open for conversation and/or debate, and also yada yada my bad if i said something randomly terrible I have extremely poor social skills lol let me know so I dont do it again yada yada] *Also if anyone doesnt know a situationship is (at least in the context im using it in ive heard other definitions for it but its not a real word so i actually dont care) when 2(or more) people basically treat eachother like lovers but they never communicate this outright and dont technically officially date but like they treat and commit to eachother like a partner would) (So its kind of what all those people who playfully flirt and call each other their spouses as a commited running joke are in)

[uceyliyahh]

UNDER YOUR TOUCH

Summary: After her difficult breakup, Tiana wanted to start anew with her life. That's when she realized her life would be better when she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 4177

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Tiana

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️

@pinkwithhearts @jstarr86 @empressdede @biancasreign

@paigereeder

IV.

uceyjucey, biancabelairwwe, shelovekai, and 200,000 people liked your post.

tianasworld: gym therapy. 🧘🏽‍♀️ uceyjucey: gyatttt damn girl look at allat back there.👀 tianasworld: @ uceyjucey all yours papi. 🤍 biancabelairwwe: tink we gotta go workout together girl. shelovekai: sheesh girl uceyjucey: @ shelovekai aye, bitch ass boy stay outta her comments or yo' ass is goin' to get handled. theyhatelani: I looked way better than her trust. tianasworld: @ theyhatelani try again. 💁🏽‍♀️

Read all 88,566 comments.

TIANA I noticed that Jey's ex-girlfriend Kehlani started following me on Instagram, stalking me, and watching my stories every single time I post something that has to do with me or with Jey and me together. She would slide up and say some negative shit.

Then she would try to be funny and say some dumbass shit to make me think Josh is doing some with her when the whole time he's with me, I wasn't a stupid girl like she was I knew what he wanted.

At this point, I was at the gym sweating bullets while doing my workout routine that I normally do when Josh called me.

OTP Jey: mamas what you got goin' on right now I miss you. Tiana: I miss you too bubba, but I'm finishing up my set right now why? Jey: my family is flying out to come visit and they wanted to meet you if that's okay ion wanna overwhelm you. Tiana: Josh you aren't making me feel overwhelmed sir calm down but I wouldn't mind meeting them. Jey: great I'll come swing by and get you ight. Tiana: okay bubba.

CALLED ENDED.

'I love calling him puppy names I wonder what he had planned for today?'

I continued my workout routine, not even paying attention to Malakai coming in. I know that he had seen me doing my workout, and he felt like now was his opportunity to strike.

I felt an unfamiliar presence approaching me, and when I turned around, I saw Malakai standing there, smirking at me.

"Um, what Kai?" I asked as I pulled my headphones to the side.

"Where's yo man at? Ion see him around." He said with a cocky tone.

I just rolled my eyes at him as I folded my arms at him. He was doing way too much for my liking, honestly.

"He's at work at the moment why? Why are you worried about him?" He scoffed while keeping his arms folded.

"Shouldn't he be here with you working out? If not, I can. I mean, he can't handle all you got back there like me." I was shocked that he had this much confidence in himself, thinking he could charm my heart like that.

"Nigga for your information he can handle me and all of this I can't believe you have this much confidence." I retorted at him as I stood up because I can't deal with his ass right now.

Before I could leave, he grabbed me by my waist, not knowing that I had butt-dialed Jey's number so he could listen to what was happening right now.

He placed his hand around my throat firmly not trying to hurt me as he looked into my eyes intensely I heard Jey's voice calling for me.

"Look here, little girl. You and ol' boy better be old news, or we're going to have some issues, " he threatened.

"Mamas what's going on?"

"Get the fuck off of me Kai!" I shouted as I tried to push him off of me, but he wasn't budging, holding my throat tightly.

Jey knew what it was as he hung up the phone. Lucky for me, we had our locations, so he knew where I was at.

"I guess he isn't coming to save you dear, so why don't we workout together like we did before." He said as I punched him in his face, as he held his nose.

I gathered all of my things and ran out of the gym fast as fuck, knowing that Malakai was faster than me, but that didn't matter. I needed to get away before things got worst with his ass. I knew that he was just like his father, a woman beater.

I was not going to be around all of that man. I heard footsteps behind me, knowing that he was behind me. I didn't want to turn back, so I kept running as fast as I could.

Seeing Joshua's car pull up fast as fuck as I ran out the door running towards him, hugging him as he held me tightly, seeing Kai coming out the place with a bloody nose.

"Imma fuck yo' ass up Tiana!" Malakai threatened as he ran up to us, but Josh pulled me to the side and sucker-punched him in the face.

I stood there watching Josh beat his ass remember how I said that he was strong and could knock Malakai's head off I was serious.

He was on top of Kai, beating his head in as Kai held his hand up, protecting himself.

"Yo' ass wanna put yo' hands on my girl? Imma show yo' ass sum." Jey threatened as he kicked Kai in his stomach while dragging him by his hair.

He picked him up and threw him in the trash can near him, then came back towards me to see if I was okay.

I was shaking like crazy as he took notice, hugged me, cupped both of my cheeks, kissed my lips, and looked into my eyes.

"It's okay, mama. I'm here. ight? Did he hurt you?" he asked, his face drenched with concern.

"He choked me a bit, but other than that, I'm okay, Josh." I said as I calmed down, looking over Jey's shoulder.

He noticed my attention wasn't on him but behind him, so he turned around and saw his ex, Kehlani, standing behind us. He sighed.

"Heyyyy Jeyyy baby." Kehlani said as she went up towards him to hug him.

He pushed her away as she stood there looking displeased at his actions while she looked my way, smirking.

"Oh, I see you with yo' new bitch." She said.

Before I could say anything, Jey spoke, "Aye, watch yo' damn mouth, Kehlani." She threw her hands up in defense while chuckling.

"C'mon, Jey. You know you missed all of this. What does she have that I don't?" He scoffed at her as he put his hands on his hips again, a typical mom stance.

"Everything, and no, I don't miss allat when I have this beautiful girl next to me so yo' ass can move around," Jey said sternly as me and him went inside his car.

I could see Malakai struggling to get out of the trash can, which almost had me laughing at him, but my attention was towards Jey's ex-girlfriend as she stood there looking all pissed like a little kid.

It's no wonder he broke up with her. We pulled off from the gym and returned to his tattoo shop.

✧.*

JEY we were pulling up to my tattoo shop since I had clients today but I had to step out to deal with that earlier I couldn't believe that man put his hands on her not knowing what was finna happen to his ass.

I looked at my knuckles; they were red I hadn't beat nobody's ass in a minute and that felt good to do so, I darted my attention towards Tiana who was quiet the whole car ride I wanted to know what was she thinking or feeling right now.

I held her hands into mine as she looked at me with a faint smile. Then, back at the window, I could tell she was still tensed from what had happened, so I kissed her hand gently while focusing on the road.

✧.* When we finally pulled up to the tattoo shop, as we stepped out of the car, Tiana hadn't said anything or addressed anything about what had happened.

She walked in with me, and as we held hands, I told her I'd be done in a couple of hours so she could hang out in my office for a bit.

"I'll be done a little bit, mama, okay?" I said as she nodded her.

I sighed while rubbing my beard with both hands, and then I heard my phone ring. I checked to see that Jon was calling me.

OTP Twin📌: Yo uce what you doing? Jey: I'm back at work uce what's up? Twin📌: what's up uce you sound tensed. Jey: man I just got into some shit with Kehlani and then with my girl ex boyfriend I had to beat his ass because he put hand on her. Twin📌: woah that's insane is she good? Jey: I don't know if she's okay, she seemed a bit tensed still ion know uce. Twin📌: ight then well I was letting you know that we are getting a hotel when we land so I'll text you. Jey: ight then.

CALL ENDED.

After finishing up my last client for today, I cleaned up my equipment thoroughly. Then, I heard someone's footsteps walking this way, causing me to turn around, only to see Tiana standing there watching me.

I could read her energy right now, and she was very quiet—she didn't even say a word at all. I walked up towards her, placing my hands on her hips as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

I looked deeply into her eyes, then onto her lips, then back onto her deer eyes; I gave her a peck on her lips while grabbing her by her thighs and carrying her towards the countertop.

I plopped her down on it, getting between her legs while holding her in place. As she looked up at me, her hands were playing in my mullet.

She moved her hands towards my face as she pulled me closer, kissing me on the lips. Our lips moved in sync with each other.

I slide my tongue inside of her mouth while snaking my hand onto her ass, gripping it, causing her to moan softly. How badly I wanted to fuck her on this countertop, but I just need to know where her head was before we get into it.

I pulled away so that we could catch each other's breath as we put our foreheads against each other.

"mama, speak to me what's up?" I asked.

"I'm just still tensed about earlier Josh." Tiana said.

"princess I'm goin' to protect you at all cost don't worry I got'chu." I reassured her while playing in her hair.

I could read her expression on her face. She seemed to calm down a bit. All she needed was to hear some reassurance from me because I stood by my promise to protect her from anyone or anything.

I cupped her cheeks with both of my hands and kissed her lips.

"C'mon let's go to my crib."

✧.* OMNISCIENT Jey and Tiana were driving to her house so that she could change and shower before she had to meet his people. It kind of made her nervous and scared. She was thinking, 'What if they don't like me?'

Jey was talking to Bianca downstairs about what had happened between him and ol' boy, including his ex Kehlani.

"Wait what! He put his hands on her?" Bianca said.

"Yeah, she said he choke her, but I beat his ass good honestly." He said while rubbing his knuckles.

"Damn Joshua, but question though Joshy."

He cringed when she called him that as she laughed at him, but her face went serious for a second, "When are you goin' to ask my bestie out, sir? Y'all are honestly a cute couple as it already is and you seem the type to protect her."

She was right about that. He even told Tiana that he'd protect her. I mean, he practically loved this girl down. Even though they're still getting to know each other, he knows in his heart that she's the one for him.

Her vibe, her energy, everything about Tiana just drew him in more something he didn't feel with Kehlani when they were together.

"I got something planned out for that." Jey said as Bianca furrowed her eyebrows a bit.

"What's the plan? Ion mind helping like honestly you're a good man better than Kai." She said.

Before I could tell her the plan, we saw Tiana coming downstairs. She looked stunning in her dress, with her hair done and her makeup done.

Jey licked his lips as he stood up, keeping his eyes on her as she walked in the living room.

"you ready to go mama?" He asked as he held his hand out.

"Yep, let's go before we are late Josh." Tiana said softly.

They interlocked their hands as they headed out towards the car. Jey told Bianca that he'd tell her the details later about his plan.

They finally made it to the restaurant, which looked really nice and fancy. She and Jey got out of the car, holding hands as they both walked inside.

As they were heading towards their tables, Tiana saw unfamiliar faces sitting at the table, and the two people looked at them with a smile.

"Yoooo Uce what's hannin dawg." Jimmy said as he dabbed up his twin brother.

Tiana stood there like a lost puppy as she watched Josh greeting his people. That's when they all turned to her, and she looked back at them.

"Jon, Trin, this is my girlfriend Tiana, and Tiana, this is my sister-in-law Trin, and my twin brother Jonathan; people close to us call him Jimmy." Jey spoke as Tiana hugged Trinity and Jon.

"Omg Jey, you didn't tell me that she was going to be pretty." Trinity said as Tiana blushed at her compliment.

"Yeah uce, where did y'all meet at?"

Tiana and Jey looked at each other while cheesing really hard.

After dinner, they all went to Jey's house to chill and smoke some weed while jamming to some music. As they were doing that, Tiana and Trinity were out back in the pool together, getting to know each other.

"so how did you meet Jey girl give me all the details." Trinity asked.

"Well, I wanted to get this tattoo covered up that I had when I was with my ex-boyfriend at the time, and my bestie Bianca hooked me up to Josh's tattoo shop, and we instantly connected there," Tiana said as she passed the blunt to Trin.

"Joshua is a good man; you ain't gotta worry." She said.

Tiana smiled at Trinity as they continued to speak to each other, "But fair warning: Joshua is a hornball girl, so you better run."

"Oh girl tell me about it, he be all over me." Tiana said.

"Girl, once you all are married, it's going to get worse. Hell, look how my husband is acting." Tiana chuckled at Trinity while darting her eyes towards Jey.

He was talking to his brother when he looked in her direction. He smiled at her before going back to talking to Jon.

"Jey had told me what happened with your ex-boyfriend and Kehlani hoe ass." Trinity said.

"Yeah, he told me about his ex as well; in person, she doesn't look pretty, " she replied, and Trinity nodded her head in agreement.

"Yeah, I was so surprised when I saw you because, oh my god, you're literally gorgeous."

Tiana pushed Trin while blushing like crazy, "Stop, Trinity."

✧.* TIANA Everyone was on cloud nine as they watched a movie together. Jey and I were cuddling on the couch while Jon and Trin were doing the same on a different couch.

We were watching the new bad boy movie that had come out; it was a lot of ass whooping and shooting in this moving.

I felt Jey move away from me as he got up. It looked like he had to go use the restroom, so it really didn't bother me as much.

Meanwhile, I felt my phone buzz as I saw that Bianca had texted me and Jey.

Breezy: heyyy bestie how's it going over there I heard you meet your boyfriend's brother and his wife. Tiana: he's not my boyfriend yet until he ask me to be his girlfriend B. Breezy: yeah, yeah, whatever girl.💁🏽‍♀️ Tiana: but his brother is honestly funny and Trin she's so sweet. Breezy: really? Omg I would love to meet her. Tiana: I can ask if they aren't busy ion know how long they'll be in town. Breezy: ight cool well I was just checking in girl. Tiana: kk girl . 🫶🏽

ZaddyJey🤍 sent a two attachment.

When I opened the message that Jey had sent me an attachment of something, I opened it only to see what it and my mouth went wide open as I saw him holding his pretty long brown eight-inch dick on my screen.

I saw the bubbles moving, so I knew he meant business with this, but his brother and sister-in-law are here. Wouldn't that be weird?

But when I looked up at them, they were too occupied with the movie, which was turned up to max volume, so I guess it really didn't matter.

That's when I felt my phone buzz again with a message from Jey.

ZaddyJey🤍: lemme' holla at you mamas ZaddyJey🤍: lemme' rearrange them guts lookin' all good like that today.

I darted my attention towards Jon and Trin, making sure that they were indeed watching the movie, and they were, as I got up from the couch and went upstairs to the bathroom.

The bathroom light was on, and I knew that Jey was waiting for me to come in, so I knocked on the door, waiting for him to open it.

As soon as he did, he snatched my ass right the fuck up and got to work.

SMUT WARNING Jey had me on the countertop of the sink with my legs over his shoulders and my arms wrapped around his neck as he was giving me deep strokes.

Both of our skins were slapping against each other as our moans and groans echoed the bathroom, he was pounding my pussy good making me throw my head back.

"Shit Josh..." I moaned.

"Mhmm...mama got some good ass pussy." He grunted as he moved his hips faster.

I could feel him giving me every single inch that he wanted me to feel as I tucked my bottom lip in under my teeth while maintaining eye contact with him I knew how much he loved that.

I never knew I could be so attached to this man. The way he protects me and loves on me, especially claiming me as his in front of his brother and sister-in-law, meant something to me.

He kept his pace up while going deeper inside of me, making me see stars as my mouth parted. That's when he lifted me up and started ramming my shit.

"Fucckkkk J-Josh!" I cried out while holding onto him tightly.

"take this shit princess, take it." My mind felt foggy after he said that I wasn't expecting him to do all that to me, now giving me a good spank on my left thigh.

I kept rolling my eyes in the back of my head, keeping them closed due to the pleasure that I was feeling at the moment. It was like he was digging them inside of me, breaking me up little by little.

I felt his balls hittin' my clit, driving me insane as he placed his lips on mine as we made out during this.

His tongue was all in my mouth as my hands were pulling on his mullet as his thrust were getting deeper and deeper into me, making me feel like I couldn't take it any more.

"I-I C-can't T-take I-it J-Josh..." I breathe out while trying to keep up.

He didn't even listen to me as he thrust harder than before, making me gasp while moaning very loudly as our skins were slapping against each other, making the bathroom echo.

I dig my nails into his skin as he hissed in pain, tucking his bottom lip under his teeth while gazing down at me.

I felt a familiar pit go down in my stomach as I knew that I was going to cream on this man. I think he knew, too, seeing my facial expression.

He was hitting my g-spot while I was pulling on his mullet as he was talking to me through it, "you finna cum? go ahead, make a mess on me, mama daddy got'chu." Jey knew he was a sweet talker.

As he kept hitting my spot I couldn't even let my mind process the way he was fucking me so deeply I didn't know I had this affect on him.

"This my pussy baby? tell me this is my pussy." I couldn't even get the words outta my mouth as I'm being folded like a damn pretzel.

"Tell me baby."

"Y-yess daddy this your pussy it's belongs to you! Fuck I'm finna cum dadddy!" I whined as I creamed on his dick feeling my legs shaking.

I wanted to get off of him so badly, but he held onto me tight while pinning my back onto the wall, thrusting into me deeply, making me feel everything.

"Don't run, take this fucking dick." Jey hissed as he held onto my thighs for support.

"F-fuccck!" I felt very overwhelmed with this as I began to feel tears coming down my face.

Jey kissed my cheeks and then my lips, trying to calm me down while his movements kept getting sloppier and sloppier.

As they were getting sloppier, I was on cloud nine right now, pulling on his mullet because I wanted him to be closer to me.

I hugged his sweaty body tightly as I felt him breathing down my neck, giving it a few wet kisses while I was moaning his name in his ear.

His dick was twitching inside of me knowing that he was finna bust, without even thinking I wrapped my legs around his torso as he thrusted into me vigorously.

"Fuck mama, I'm finna nut all in this pussy." Jey groaned as he was giving it his all.

Lucky for me I was on birth control so this wouldn't bother me at all.

"Shit Josh I'm finna cum again...fuck.." I whimpered as he kissed me on the cheek.

"Wait on me mama, let's nut together."

After a few more thrusts he had left in him, Jey placed his face underneath my neck while cursing under his breath as me and him cum together on the spot filling me up like a Twinkie.

SMUT OVER.

We stayed in that position for a minute to catch our breaths as our chests were going up and down deeply, looking at one another's features.

He kissed me on the lips while carrying us to his bedroom, 'how is this man not tired like me? nigga got me all workout.'

Praying that Jon and Trinity didn't hear us fucking upstairs in the bathroom. Knowing how Jon is, he'll say something, and it'll be so embarrassing.

Jey wrapped the covers around us, and I snuggled up in his chest, looking up at him as he gazed his eyes down at me. "I love you, mama."

I was taken aback when he said that it actually made my heart feel warm, as I looked down, not trying to be emotional around him.

He grabbed my chin with his hands, making me look up at him again.

"I mean it, Tiana. I love the fuck outta' you, girl. It's just sum' about you that makes my heart melt." Jey confessed as he noticed tears appearing in my eyes.

"I love you too, Josh. I fell in love with you the moment we met at your tattoo shop," I said as I wiped the tears from my eyes.

Hearing him say them three words meant something to me; he kissed me on the lips softly while I snuggled into him more.

We both drifted to sleep.

Under Your Touch.

theyhatelani replied to your story: her pussy can't be better than mines Jey. Yk where home is at baby.

biancabelairwwe replied to your story: please take care of her Joshua she is just one precious soul.

Jonathanfatu replied to your story: ngl yall was very loud asf up there Uce. 😭😭

zillafatu replied to your story: when is yall goin' to come down here with the rest of the fam cuzzo.

uceyjucey, zillafatu, theyhatelani, and 99,000 people liked your post.

tianasworld: my happy home. 🧘🏽‍♀️🤍 uceyjucey: 🥰🫶🏽 tianasworld: @ uceyjucey 🤍 zillafatu: can't wait to meet you fasho biancabelairwwe: omggg my bestie is finally happy again. 🥹🥹 tianasworld: @ biancabelairwwe 🥹 theyhatelani: whatever he'll come back home to me. tianasworld: @ theyhatelani girl please move around he's in a better position with me than he was with you honey. uceyjucey: @ theyhatelani get outta my girl's comments with allat negative bs. 🙄 shelovekai: this is some bs bro that can't be your happy home.

Read all 100,290 comments.

A/N: JEY DID IT YALL HE IS NOW A CHAMPION LIKE I AM SO HAPPY FOR HIM HONESTLY HE REALLY DOES DESERVE IT FR BRO.

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments.

STAY UCEY.