#im also sorry that i havent really kept up with the blog these past couple of months my life has just been really busy and hectic lately

[sakuurae]

wonder years; preview

» summary: Two years passed since Taeyong made it to a celebrity status. As time flew by, so did the distance between you two, marking the relationship with each other as good as strangers. Before he left, a promise was made when you were both young, and after those two long years he came back with intentions to fulfill it.

❀ pairing: celebrity!taeyong & reader insert || childhood friends!au

❀ includes: fluff, light angst

❀ wc: 2.2k for this preview !

❀ note: This fic will be complete fluff except for some ... minor angsty parts, hahaha. I havent written something like this (a hearty fic) on this current blog, so itll be a little different and i hope the finished product will be as enjoyable for you all as it was for me : ) The final product is estimating to be 20k~ words, give or take ... hahaha.

But heres a small preview for now ! It might seem abruptly cut off but i had to do it there since the rest would reveal how the rest of the story will probably go ! Haha. I also havent written anything in a while ... so forgive me if this isnt my prime adfgfkhgl

Im also still not used to putting ‘sakuurae’ on covers hah this is a sign to go back to ‘honeytaeyong’ huh ... lmaooo

Lee Taeyong was the cynosure of attention these days—well, months to be exact. He had risen to stardom expeditiously, and even the media was barely able to keep up alongside his worldwide activities. From country to country he had partnerships and photoshoots; filmings for commercials and parties by other celebrities on the top of the unspoken hierarchy. Deeming him as a busy man was an understatement, and honestly he strongly despised it. Taeyong missed his old, placid life more often than he should, almost as if he never had a peaceful life when he was young and the thought of a calm way of living was a dream he longed for. In fact, his past was seemingly clouded by a grey haze, for he could no longer remember what the sweet taste of fast food was like or even the feeling of spare time in his hands. Rather, the world was entering his grasp as power and fame creeped into his hands, but, of course, great power and fame came little choices—and it was far too late for Taeyong to escape.

Believe it or not, you had known the rising star Taeyong longer than anyone in the showbiz world had ever. Since you were six, and you had film photos as concrete evidence. Every time you saw his face on the screen and not on your hung picture frames you felt proud, happy for your friend; however, there was another sentiment that loomed desolation upon you. Due to Taeyong’s newfound hustle and bustle lifestyle, the messages and calls he would give you became rare—almost as if you were a fan whose luck was tested for a surprise call from his or her favourite celebrity. Needless to say, that disrupted the friendship and you were unsure if Taeyong and you were still as close as before. And the term “close” to describe your old friendship was too subtle.

Recalling the way you met Taeyong was easy, especially since the encounter was unforgettable. During recess when you were six years old you were on the field picking at dandelions to take home, in the distance you heard a boy yell incomprehensible words towards you. Once you looked up, a soccer ball went straight at your face, knocking you over to the grass. As ugly sobs spilled, a teacher accompanied you to the nurse’s office who only gave you a frozen bag of ice and the two empty words of “It’s okay.” The bump that formed on your head was sticking out protrudently so that the slightest touch made you wince in pain. Thinking about the rude boy at the time, you were furious, telling yourself you will never forgive him. But those silent swears were kept to yourself once the same young child that accidentally kicked the soccer ball to your face sneaked into the nurse’s office to release a string of apologies. Tears were prickling at his eyes as if he was the one who got physically hurt and not you, sniffles were not enough to prevent the upcoming sobs, and he was a nervous wreck. You glared at him in annoyance, aching to push him out of the office—maybe even punch—but before you committed to any actions he mumbled, “I’m really sorry.”

Those three words caught your attention; they were more genuine than the nurse who told you your injury was not as bad as you believed, as a result you stared at the flustered kid who kept on saying sorry. Each time you remained silent, tension thickened in the room. Silence ensued as you remained angry, and caused the boy to spit out, “Can I make this up to you somehow?”

Puffing your cheeks out, you declined and left the nurse’s office to sit in the front. That day you thought it was the last you would ever see Taeyong, but the next day he came into your class before lunch break with a can of soda in hand and another apology. Taeyong trailed you for a couple of minutes once lunch started; he took a seat next to you and offered you some carrots as if the item was a token of forgiveness, and you smiled at his gesture. That day you forgave him, and a friendship had formed. Instead of lingering around his friends, Taeyong spent time lingering by you around the slides of the play structure daily. That continued for a long while until junior high, where you would sit at the same table and chat the respite away childish drama.

You used to patronize his home when you were still young, accepting the love and affection from his family as if you were one of their own from day one, and he committed to the same—given the rare times your parents were both home. Since elementary to junior high, all throughout high school, you and Taeyong attended the same school and spent practically everyday pestering one another for fun. After racing to the nearby park where the loser would have to purchase an icy treat, the two of you always sat down on neighboring slides in the play structure and informed each other about the boring day. The closeness was perceptible to everyone: students, teachers, and strangers. Many assumed the guy named Taeyong was your boyfriend, and subsequently raw shock was their reaction when you both denied the claims.

The thought of you dating Taeyong never crossed your mind until he started to drift away from you after high school graduation. There had to be something more than those races and hang outs that were able to be passed off as dates. Half a day was spent next to him typically, which made the week incomplete if failed to do so. You spent an incredible amount of time by his side, and you wondered why Taeyong and you never became an official item. Of course there was something more than a friendship—even if it was never spoken of, an attraction was active. But nothing changed. Often, you wondered if there was such thing as being too close to the point dating was out of the spectrum?

With his burst of fame, gone were the days of you and Taeyong constantly visiting each other’s houses and eating meals together as a complete family, sneaking into his bedroom through his window to finish one new series on Netflix, and subsequently crawling out through the artful entrance to spend the night out in the town. Once Taeyong was able to drive the nights became longer, and rather than freezing in the cold, situated on the park swings struggling to stutter words through the gelid air, you and Taeyong rested in the back seat of his vehicle and talked about all the stupid things in life. Annoying teachers, petulant drama, and words that reflected a broken heart poured from the lips and strengthened the bond. And sometimes when life became too much, a silence by him was all you needed.

Whenever you gawked at Taeyong at three in the morning, tired eyes fighting to remain open, you recalled how he used to be: physically and mentally. The boy who used to have black hair longer than most, a frown etched on his face to convince the universe he was tough, and an array of flannels had transformed into a man that flaunted an extended quiff and a sparkling smile by senior year. Of course you were not the only being who noticed the distinct change; that was how he was scouted to become the successful man he was today.

The night Taeyong told you he had a couple of auditions for minor roles in movies surprised you; in fact, you never suspected such a day would come so soon. You see, Taeyong was always partaking in theatre activities on-campus and off-campus. He earned thespian awards since he began acting extremely merituous, and soon his name was featured on articles and local news. He was the best of the best, and everyone knew. So once he booked a flight out of the country to fulfill his dream, not many were surprised.

However, before Taeyong had left to fulfill his dreams, he made a promise to you: to be able to make you the happiest in the future. It wasn’t like he pledged to marry you in the future or take your hand accompanied by all the love he could spill; he wanted you to be happy alongside him as friends because life at the time was rough. Stress arrived like no other due to testing and college applications. The struggle to maintain nonpareil grades became a competition—the factor that determined the winner of a four year battle to gain valedictorian. Not only, but you and Taeyong were active participants in on-campus and off-campus theatre. Needless to say, you were both incredibly busy—and as all the stress from family and school accumulated, and so much more, the light that was joy had dissipated throughout the years. With parents kept entirely busy committing to their own service, you never had time to see them, which resulted in the element of trust falling short to speak to them about your issues. Taeyong was the only friend you trusted entirely—your heart and mind craved to vent to him whenever something went wrong—and he felt your pain the more you cried out to him in the middle of the night.

To the insane degree that Taeyong cared for you, everything was given to why he promised to make you happy.

His journey to fame was a long process sprawled throughout two years; nonetheless, Taeyong’s name was finally circulating the world like wildfire. Media wanted to feed off his fresh talents and looks, and other celebrities obtained an interest in the dashing man. Event after event, Taeyong was the name that hopped off everyone’s tongue. Acting modernly in prominence, he became closer to fans and created bonds with strangers, and despite Taeyong becoming closer to the whole entire world, the distance was growing rapidly between you two.

⭒ ⭒

The morning was busier than normal at the corner coffee shop you worked at—especially for a Tuesday morning. Most customers tended to be among the range of adults to elderly, but on this specific day there seemed to be clusters of young teenagers, each ordering the most aesthetic drinks from the menu. There was definitely going to be a boost in sales thanks to the younger group, so there had to be a reason for their spontaneous visit. The shop was extremely packed to the point you had no room to think of extra thoughts like those; all you were able to do was focus on drinks. Since the shop is on the compact side and cozier than most, gossip was simple to overhear.

“Did you see him yet?” said an excited girl who was balancing herself on her tiptoes.

Her friend seemed to shake her head, replying, “No, are you sure the tweet was true?”

“It had to be,” said another girl who was a stranger to the two. “It’s from an official news source.”

“Then where is he?” mumbled someone else.

Holding the tea shaker in hand, you stared at the cluster of curious girls, wondering who and what exactly they were referring to. A bump came to your hips from a fellow co-worker who wanted to snap you back to work, your trail of thought ended. “Focus, (y/n),” he ordered.

“Sorry, Ten,” you muttered, continuing to align the cup for the proper order. “Focusing is hard when there’s a bunch of loud customers.”

Ten laughed in agreement. “Apparently it’s because some celebrity is in town.”

“Did you read that from the tweet as well?” you jested, pouring the iced tea into the clear cup.

“Maybe.” He grinned while topping off his order with whipped cream. “I don’t even know what celebrity would have any business here. This town’s tiny, dingy, and quiet. The person’s changing everything.”

Chuckling, you capped the tea and went to the opposite end of the counter. “Kick the person out your town, Ten.” Reading the side of the cup, you read the black marker aloud, “Two large passion fruit iced teas for Johnny!”

The customer approached the counter and grabbed the drinks and grinned at you before reaching onto two straws. Before you were able to offer him a cup holder, he answered a call on his bluetooth and continued onto his day. “Hello, Tae?” said Johnny, who was clad in a casual outfit consisting of a white shirt tucked into black jeans. “Where are you?”

You stared at the man for a short while, the name that left his mouth lingering in your mind. “Tae,” you whispered. “God, the name reminds me of Taeyong.”

“Everything reminds you of Taeyong,” Ten poked fun, raising an eyebrow in a suggestive manner. “You sure the two of you weren’t some item or anything?”

Annoyed, you scoffed and brushed him aside to continue your busy morning at work. “Very funny.”

“Thanks.” Ten smiled. “My second job should probably be a stand-up comedian.”

[micmicyoongis]

So I’m going to rant here for a second

This isn’t kpop related and I would normally post this on my main blog but theres people on there that I don’t want to see this.

I 

am 

so 

fucking

lonely.

I haven’t seen any of my friends in about a month?? I talk to them all the time but I haven’t actually seen them. I haven’t seen my bestest friend since November and I’m starting to get really worried. They rarely ever talk to me anymore unless they’re majorly upset or need validation in something/going through a massive depressive episode (which im chill with. I’m more than happy to be there for them when they’re going through that shit show) or whenever her boyfriend pisses them off. (who is also my friend that i havent seen in a couple months let alone talked to him much at all in that time). It’s really starting to get to me. I feel like I only used to vent and then they forget about me. Like if I message them (them being my bestest friend) they take forever to respond IF they do respond at all. And it’s not like I don’t make an effort to try and see them. I have been asking them so much over the past couple of weeks if they could come over for a little bit and I’ll get a response 5 or 6 hours later (its usually night time too btw) thats like “sorry I can’t. maybe next time” or they’ll say they want to work on cosplay with me but when I offer it never happens???? And I can tell it’s really starting to mess with me. I’ve lost a  lot of motivation in things because they would always pump me up and I am just??? really suffering writing wise (the career I want to go in) because, like, their motivation and positive remarks kept me going but also their drive to help me fix any mistakes I made in my writing was just so helpful because no one else wanted to do that??? Now that I don’t have them I just cant write. And I’m not putting all of that one them because I need to take credit for my inability to write right now. Like, it’s not all their fault it’s mine too. I also haven't been getting out at all apart from work (which sucks oh my god I want to quit so bad but money and lack of motivation to find a job) so I have been sitting in my room all by myself for the past two months. Even my parents get out more than I do (and they’re a whole other issue I’m having right now that I really don’t want to get into). I literally just curled up into a ball the other day and started crying because I felt so alone. 

Which kind of made me feel guilty because I had plans to go see one of my other friends this weekend. But alas I can’t go over now because my mom seems to think that this weekend just wont work out. After, you know, ive had this planned (WITH HER AGREEMENT BTW) for about a week now. Ive been so excited to see my friend and get out of the house and I have not been subtle about that either. I have exclaimed many times out loud about how excited I am about this. 

So yeah. I feel bad for canceling plans with my friend (theyve been goign through a lot with thier doggo rn and really just needed someone to be there witht hem) and I’m also just mad because I’m going to be alone another night. (Literally all by myself, my parents are going out tonight which is why I assume that I can’t go to my friends house).

And on top of all of this. I just feel bad for complaining???? Like, a lot of these issues would be fixed if I just had my license (as I have been told multiple times by my parents) and I know that I should have one because I’m 18. But im so scared of driving??? and I can’t get my parents to understand that....anyways I’ve gone on long enough so I guess ill stop there. Sorry for all my ranting and such,,,,I just. Cant keep it bottled up anymore. 

So anyways I could go on a lot more but I’ll spare all of you that. 

I’m just feeling really lonely and had to get some of my shit off my chest.

Again sorry for this long ranty post.

[chroniclesofamiddlechild]

NAGOYA: JAPAN DAY 10

sorry for NOT BLOGGING for the past couple of weeks.. ~GOMEN NE SAI~ but i was really dreading to write this day BECAUSE we just chilled and lived a local nagoya day. so THIS POST will be MUCH shorter than the other days but hopefully of the same quality. 

so today i woke up in nagoya and we left the airbnb a little late. maybe a bit before 10 and WE WERE STARVING. but we were DETERMINED TO GET THE NAGOYA SPECIALITY: hitsumabushi!!!! so we boomed to nagoya station to the ESCA mall and it was on the basement floor. and we got there maybe around 10:30am AND PEOPLE WERE LINING UP ALREADY! the foodie culture in japan is intense~ 

so we waited until it opened at 11am and we got seated THANK GOD. we ordered the hitsumabushi and it was kind of expensive. around ~2500 yen to ~4000 yen. if youre wondering what hitsumabushi is, its grilled eel on rice. DUN BE CONFUSED WITH UNAGI DON because unagi don is with STEAMED eel and NOT GRILLED. similar to the wagyu beef experience, the hitsumabushi is to be eaten 3 ways. FIRST with just rice, then with the toppings and then in the ochazuke method. 

i ordered the deluxe one (4000 yen) to share with my cousin. it IS DEF ENOUGH for 2. quite filling. but i honestly think i can never eat some unagi don anymore. like why have STEAMED EEL when you can have GRILLED EEL?! the texture is a lot different and much better. but IDK. if this was REALLY WORTH 4000 yen. IT was good but not that memorable of a meal. id much rather have the wagyu beef set over this. def didnt have a shokugeki experience. 

after this, we boomed to nagoya castle~ we were greeted by these warriors. HONTONI KAWAII?! 

lol. I DONT KNOW what is up with the floral armour, but okay.. I’LL TAKE IT. the castle was cool, but i dont really remember much. i still have all the pamphlets, but i havent had time to read through everything. the MOST MEMORABLE THING AT NAGOYA CASTLE was in the special exhibition which just showed pics of nagoya castle during the olden days. the paintings were so detailed. MUCH RESPECT. okay but the CRAZIEST THING was that they had a photograph of some development of the castle when it was being restored in the 1940s/1950s. and the photograph featured 3 kids and LEGIT. I SHIT YOU NOT. ONE OF THE KIDS LOOKED LIKE ME. JUST LIKE ME WHEN I WAS A KID. I WANTED TO TAKE A PIC BUT THERE ARE NO PHOTOGRAPHS INSIDE THE EXHIBITION. i asked my cousin if that kid looked like me, AND HE AGREED. IT LOOKED JUST LIKE ME WHEN I WAS A TODDLER. so conclusion is - i was definition a nagoya citizen in my previous life. 

after nagoya castle, we walked around the park outside the castle. even though the weather was nasty, it was so nice. 

around the park, there was a little boy soccer practice going on. OMG SOOO CUTE. there was one little runt and the rest of the boys were like running, looping around pylons. BUT THE LITTLE RUNT KEPT ON TRIPPING OVER THE PYLONS. SO CUUUTTEEE. i took a video from a creeper distance, BUT WILL NOT BE POSTING. pls slide into my DMs if you want it tho. 

after stalking, we went to my cousin’s friend’s salon to just chill and then me and another friend just went shopping in sakae which is the DT district. we were looking for some HYPE brands i.e. BAPE and CDG. the thing about nagoya is that nagoya has EVERYTHING tokyo has but IN STOCK. in tokyo, there was a lot of things sold out but nagoya has EVERYTHING. i for one, did not make any purchases, but my friend did. *wishing i had money to buy anything and everything i wanted* :( :( :( :(  

next IT WAS TIME FOR SUM DINNAAAAAA. after shopping more around sakae, WE WENT BACK TO LACHICA for dinner. we went to some sushi restaurant with the locals and HAD SOME OMAKASE SET. i didnt take some quality pics BUT IT WAS DEF A QUALITY MEAL. AND THE price was LEGIT GOOD. i think it was about ~3000 yen! 

dont be fooled by the pic. we did not just have some commodity goods fish and tamago. we also had chu toro and OTORO! so yeah... nagoya CLASS!!!!~ (only btob fans would understand)

the chef was some old man but he had really pretty eyes. i didnt feel like talking during dinner, but instead i had a staring contest with the chef. pretty fun if you ask me :P 

after the dinner, my cousin’s friend offered to take me to a host club! W00T!! TRUE #NIPPON EXPERIENCE. but i declined COS I WAS GOING TO OSAKA THE NEXT DAY and i had to pack! he told me that it was a REALLY GOOD HOST CLUB. i dont know if id ever go to a host club in this lifetime because im just not attracted to the guys that are hosts. like THERE IS NO HONEY SENPAI/KYOYA SENPAI in real life so WHY WOULD I GO?!?! but i think it’d be a fun experience. maybe i’ll go when i have a bit more money cos i hear host clubs can be expensive. 

then we said our farewells and we headed back to the airbnb to get ready to leave nagoya the next day. twas a nice trip to see what really is in nagoya. :P but NEXT TIME IM IN NAGOYA, I GOTTA TRY SOME TEBASAKI which is just a nagoya style chicken wing!!!!! sigh... i only learned of tebasaki because of a v-live broadcast that btob did in nagoya. :( 

what i learned today: that i was a citizen of nagoya in my previous life! super shocking. 

high point: omakase! very VALUE AND GREAT QUALITY! 

low point: looking at all the cool hype beast clothes and telling myself i cant buy it cos i shouldnt be buying these expensive things. esp when i went to the CDG BLACK STORE. :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(