#im aboiut to fucking DIE
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居酒屋ぼったくり (Izakaya Bottakuri) 2018
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#feel free to ignore this its just vent#but. DAMN me being jobless and whatnot is! not helping w me nkt feeling like shit!#as in I especially feel like a fucking leech 🙃🙃 stuck at home w/o a license or anything#which. I don’t want to go anywhere w the virus but im never the one that can go#because I HATE driving. I suck and it scares me#and im housing 20+ rats rhat I shouldnt have#adult rats are FINE I can deal with them#but having so mant babies is just. jesus.#I have arrangements to get rid of them but. ugh#I feel so inadequate 🤡🤡 I can’t do shit but sit around and get fatter#aha I might... just... not eat tomorrow#maybe some fruit but. god. im fucming sick of sitting around like this#and I can’t fucking exercise when just walking makes everything hurt for days after. you think I can afford diets without a job??#and while my family is poor?? and here I am. complaining on the internet. itll get me fucking nothing but pity point#s. suicide and self harm ment// but!! I would like to die!! id start cutting again if I had the fucking energy 🤡🤡🤡🤡#and then people fucking knkw this about me because I overshare to strangers on the internet and then they fucking!! worry about me! fuck. I#do this to myself#hell; I have an easy fucking life conpared to so many other people 🤡 what do I have to complain aboiut?? being sad and not bring popular on#the internet?? huh. anyway. conclusion is As Always I wanna fucking did but I don’t have the balls to do it#hm. Unrelated question but how many boxes of zzzquil is Enough
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just landed msyelf my first Solid job in like 2 years . but
im so fucking depressed and anxious ?? lmao
it seems like everyone is expecting me to go really well at this job and be successful and stop like. being sick and relying on the government welfare.
but i just want to die ????
i felt like submitting myself into hospital when i went to bed. and then again this morning. and now its jsut left me fucking anxious as shit aboiut everything. i can do the job. i can do it. id go into work at 4am every morning. i dont give a shit about that .
im just sick
im so fucking sick i want to die
and i have for so many weeks now. and it jsut feels lieke nothing is getting better
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