#ill tell her about problems and she'll basically accuse me of overreacting

[thedisablednaturalist]

Just being around my family stresses me out. Which in turn causes my pain levels to rise. Everyone is so nasty to each other. I can't ask for help without being ridiculed so I just have to fight through the pain to make my dinner. And then I have to flee to my room or risk being chastised for the unhealthiness of whatever I manage to make before falling over. I just needed to eat a safe food that was quick, filling, and didn't trigger my nausea. But because box mac and cheese will make me fat my mom has to tear me apart over it. Also I only ate 1.5 meals today because my mom gets mad when I'm in the kitchen.

And the bathrooms? My brother spends 20 minutes taking a sink bath every half hour in the bathroom across from my room, so I have to use my parents bathroom if I don't get to it in time. I try to pee quickly but I have to pee frequently due to fibromyalgia bladder. My mom yells at me for using "her" bathroom. "Go downstairs!" she yells. Why can't my able-bodied brother go downstairs to take his sink baths then?? why do I have to painfully crawl down the stairs every time I want to take a piss?? Also he does this in the middle of the night too which wakes me up. Don't get me started on him filling the toilet with shit and not flushing so the smell wafts into my room 🤢

Oh and god forbid I have to take my weekly shower. Then EVERYONE is mad at me for "hogging the bathroom". I only shower once or twice a week due to pain and both my brothers literally showering twice a day (thus no hot water, it's impossible to take a cold shower with fibro). I have to fight to get a timeslot. And then my mom makes fun of me for looking "unkempt".

But according to everyone IM the bully, IM overreacting. My mom "almost died to birth me" so her behavior gets excused. My one brother has severe autism/OCD and my parents dont do anything to help or manage it so his needs are always above mine since I'm able to "push past it" (re: forced). Fun fact the "witch doctor" my parents took my brother to cut off my brothers meds cold turkey this week so its all been 200x worse due to withdrawal (who the fuck cuts someone off of WELLBUTRIN AND ZOLOFT cold turkey????).

I keep telling myself its only a few more weeks but I still haven't heard back about my housing application being approved and I'm getting worried.

How am I supposed to live, let alone work, in this environment?