#ill probably die quite soon but MAN ill get to see IL when it was all prairie and not 90% corn fields
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furtively tries to express my appreciation for BTS’s insane showmanship without gaining the reputation of Being a Kpop Blog
Actually leTS TALK ABOUT THE REPUTATION OF THE KPOP BLOG 👩🏫
So to a certain extent I understand why “friend’s blog became a Kpop blog” is a meme. From the outside, a lot of the Kpop fan activity seems quite vapid. The impression I got in previous years was that it’s mostly about gushing over handsome boys and a/b/o rpf. And that’s not........entirely wrong, but we’ll get into that more in a sec.
Another factor is that Kpop fandom is hard to follow. The barrier to entry is higher than with other fandoms. In posts, individual Kpop stars are referred to by name, stage name, or nickname, and the band they belong to isn’t always obvious, so it’s quite easy to lump it all into “Kpop”; it takes work for a new fan to differentiate the groups if you don’t know them ahead of time. Kpop fandom has its own lingo that differs from other fan language (other media fans don’t use “bias” or “delulu” — and there’s a linguistics dissertation for you). And let’s not discount the other language barrier — Korean isn’t exactly a common first language, so it does take a bit of extra work to find subtitles and translations.
This might be why the Suddenly A Kpop Blog Event supposedly triggers a different reaction in followers. I’m still following most of my friends from crit role season 1, even though a good chunk of them blog about other stuff now (what is this Chinese show? Boy with magic flute? Gay? Help). Fittingly, I’ve seen memes about how people are ride or die for their mutuals even when they move to different fandoms, but the jokes about Kpop blogs are always a bit different — about how turning into a Kpop blog is a bit cursed of u. It’s to the point where this is only “secretly a Kpop blog” because I don’t want the “Kpop blog” reputation.
And from my fandom lurking I can say that part of that reputation is not unearned. A lot of Kpop fans on tumblr engage in it in ways I’m either disinterested in or actively opposed to (the shipping wars are as terrifying as their reputation suggests. Some were arguing one ship was an rl canon true secret relationship because someone in BTS wrote the letter K on his drawing. Even though the letter K is in his name.) The reason I’ve been “secretly a Kpop blog” is that a lot of Kpop posts don’t inspire me into reblog frenzies the way crit role memes used to, and that’s not because Kpop Stans Suck — it’s more just a matter of taste. Then again, I do like gifs, but if I start reblogging BTS gifs, then I’m a Kpop Blog......and you don’t want to be a Kpop blog.
But isn’t there a whiff of “I’m not like other girls” about all that? Like, yeah, of course Kpop fans hoard gifs of the same people and overanalyze them. That’s what fans do! Pretending I didn’t overanalyze the shit out of Taliesin and Laura’s micro-expressions before Perc’ahlia was a thing would just be disingenuous. We’re all looking too closely — one of the best things about being a fan is diving into the excess of art and making things out of it. We all make mountains out of molehills because mountains are more scenic. And, on a baser level, we are all thirsty bastards. I have SEEN you all reblogging the gifs of Chris Evans ripping the log in half, okay, and you were not doing it bc of the camera angle, just own the thirst. Even the problems the Kpop fandoms have aren’t problems unique to Kpop — aggressive shippers and “””””problematic””” fans are everywhere.
I also wonder if the reason why we don’t see as much Kpop analysis on tumblr is because we’ve created kind of a hostile environment for it. Whether you are a Kpop fan or not, we’ve all decided to treat Kpop as kind of silly — the fans give it their all in the departments of cutesy photo sets and ridiculous fic prompts, and we laugh at memes of Gimli saying “never thought I’d die side by side with a Kpop fan” anyway Stan Jungkook. Just like thirst and over analyzing, that’s not necessarily a bad thing — I love that meme, and you should Stan Jungkook — but it does mean that if you want to start taking it a bit more seriously, or even a bit more casually, the assumption is that all your old tumblr friends will ditch you because “you’ve gone to the dark side”
And that’s a shame because uhhhhhh there is some baller stuff to analyze in BTS’s discography. The album before last was based on Jungian psychology (???). Their leader and primary writer is a huge fan of multilingual puns so in the latest album he makes a three-way pun on the phrase “I’m ill” — he’s sick, he’s cool, and he’s overworked (because “il” in Korean means “work”). So is he sick or is he simply made sick by like, society’s expectations of labour under capital???? Like, you know me. Societal critique by way of pun. That’s my shit. There’s also an essay or two in me about the way BTS are marketed for fan consumption and the way we handle multilingual lyrics and the way they’re handling the temporary departure of one of their members (he is an absolute cat of a man and I hope he gets well soon).
Also fuck can J-Hope ever dance.
EDIT: I should probably acknowledge that I can only make this justification for BTS, which is the only Kpop group I really like; I got no idea about the rest of them. I do know that Shinee can Also dance.
I might get the essays out but this probably won’t become “a Kpop blog” if you’re not into that. I think I’ve internalized too much of the stigma (omg V has a song called stigma it’s so good check it out find a good translation), but also, like I said, I don’t vibe with much of the other content and I kind of only follow one extremely successful group. The gifs, though. The gifs might be coming. They are pretty, those boys.
Anyway! People don’t like Kpop for nothing so like Maybe you would also like Kpop? Who knows. At the very least, think before u meme.
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shitty parallel paradise translations ch 101-104
Shitty Parallel Paradise Translation Chapter 101 to Chapter 104
a duwang quality parallel paradise translation transcript draft from chapters 101 to the first few pages of chapter 105. My brother asked me to do it but I really can't put that much effort into something I don't really care. This was sitting on my computer so i thought I'd put it here even if it is half-assed but if this gets enough likes or reblogs or DM's I'll do it more seriously and give the translations to the group who's doing it (or whoever wants to clean this up and typeset this I can give u photoshop if u want). Scans are from rawdevart.com don't go to the other one because that one is full of ads.
notes: I've never read parallel paradise so I don't know how the characters sound. It's a draft so there's lots of brainstorming words and sentences.
Enjoy the duwang. Namazu out.
Chapter 101
The dreaming maidens target is…?
The dreaming maidens spearhead is aiming towards?
I can't stay as a dreaming virgin?
Peko is looking this way like she doesn't want to get along.
Peko!!
You're here aren't you!!
Come out here!
Tch,
Peko's stupid but she's skilled
Accompany him to sandorio
Go together with him until sandorio please.
I think it would be enough with ruumi and amane though
It probably is but…
Even though peco has talent, she's not a guardian/has no guardian (?)
And therefore she doesn’t know the world outside/outside world.
Because of that I would like to use this chance to give her some experience.
About this world's absurdity (不条理）
You can make her carry your stuff (make her a porter?/carrier?)
Please bring her with you
Carry your stuff!?
…alright.
Peko once you're ready we're moving out.
Tch
Argh dammit
I can't take this!/I can't do this
Me as a stuff carrier you say!?/me carrying stuff you say!? This genius me!!
For this ugly guy!!
Yes yes ill do it ill do it I'll get ready!!
It's misaki sama's orders so I'll obey it!
But I definitely won’t listen to this guys orders you hear!1
I can't believe this humiliation/disgrace!!
On second thought, can I refuse/
Please can you do something about it…
Well then we'll be going
Yeah, be careful
You'll overthrow the (deep jealousy god)(?),
And I believe you will erase the (hougetsu) from the humans
Yeah
Where's peco
She's waiting outside
I see, peco's a unicorn huh
Hng
Kia, what happened to your face?
I got kicked by a unicorn. It was a shock.
Even though I've been taking care that much care of it all this time…
Aahhh…
Unicorn's hate non-virgins so…
I put a saddle on a bicorn.
Arai 荒いrough rude wild
Kisei nature
Odoroki
I am surprised that it was this easy to put a saddle on a bicorn despite such wild nature.
Its because Bicorns like non-virgin girls
Yota-dono
Once the battle is over, I want you to definitely come back.
Because you want to copulate?
Because I like you.
I'll come back.
For sure.
This time, il come back to this city…
Is When I've triumphantly return from defeating the (god of deep jealousy ?)
Well, let's go!!
Taa
uWaa!!
Too fast too fast!!
Is it alright if we go this fast!?
If we're going the same as a unicorn it's totally fine!
Okay
Let's set up tent here
Wow we've progressed quite far in one day…
Yes
At this rate It might not even take 7 days to reach sandorio
Peco how about you come here and eat together with us
I'm good
I am the sole luggage carrier here
So
I very well can't partake/join in with hero-sama and the guardian-dono
I will go and patrol around the edge of the vicinity
Everyone else please go ahead and go to bed before me.
If something happens be sure to call me immediately!
Huuuh?
Don't make fun of me
There's no way I would depend on someone like you ba-ka
It’s dangerous alone!
Don't mind me
I have confidence in my skills so
What the hell is up with her
She was always a strange child but
It seems like she got even more worse during the period we didn't meet.
The human man that she admired turned out to be yota I wonder if she was greatly disillusioned…
Shut up!
Tch
Who was it, who was the one who said lets set up the tent at a place like this!?
Parallel paradise 102
I want to penetrate! A maidens policy!
Fufufuffu huhuhuhuh…
It's one of me vs 9 of them huh
It's definitely not enough you know
Okay that’s 2
From here on it's the debut of my specially made reverse KARU personal knife!
That makes four
Fufufu if I used this then the KARU are like walking tofu!
Nope nope
Your presence is totally not erased so
Okay 7
Now
Theres only you know
What will it be?
Bui-ru
You can go and call your comrades if you want?
Since im here anyways I'll exterminate all the KARU in the area
Geez, misaki-sama too
Whats up with the 'I want to show her the absurdity of this world"
Even though I am so much stronger than it.
For real?
Sorry…
As I thought
The world is wide…
Tch
The probability of hitting its weak point is 1 out of 4…
No good huh!
Don't fuck with me!'
What the hell is this
Just by one punch I cant move my body anymore…
"call me as soon as there's something!"
If I call now,
I wonder if that hero-dono will come and save me…
There was no point in trying that hard to train in martial arts
No matter how much you train the body it'll be the end if you get punched once.
I'll just be used for these guys sexual desires and die…
To think that…
I was this weak
Save me…
Pp chapter 103
Looking down from above, a peeping danger!?
s-save me…
You're late to call
Baka
You okay?
Why did the KARU run away?
I don't know the reason but
For some reason when they hear my voice the KARU run away,
Whats up with that
That kind of thing is cheating right…
Well
That's why when you're with me you won't get attacked by the KARU
As I thought… I hate you…
Men… are too unfair…
even though I couldn't defeat that stupidly big KARU no matter how hard I tried.
You're right
That's not true
Ru-mi -sama
If youta was bad man then I think he would've used his powers for his own self interest
He is the only man in this world after all.
And besides if you copulate with a man you won't die of moon destruction when you turn 20.
Eh?
If those are the circumstances then we definitely can't go against yota.
In exchange for extending your life he could make all the women in this world do whatever he wants
Every single day copulating with lots of women.
I won't do that
That's right, yota won't do those kinds of things
Even though If he wanted to he could've done countless horrible things.
Forget about trying to use us.
He's putting his life fighting to free us from the destroy moon.
It's very fortunate that this world's only man is yota Is what I think.
It was written in a book in sindoria/
That's unusual
Amelia spoke
3000 years ago the man who appeared…
Brought this world into the brink of atrocity
He did as he liked with all woman
And made them into toys to satisfy his urges
Took their value has humans
he left them along the sidewalks
Laugh at their pathetic forms.
And brought a period of treachery.
Akugyaku no kiri wo tsukushita to
See as I thought its good we got yota
Was it truly like that
Even I, if I stay in this world forever that could I also…
So peko
Don’t you have anything to say to the hero-sama that saved you?
So the KARU will just run away when you use your vice,
So just by using your voice you make the KARU run away, pretty nice position you got there that you can experience the glory of a hero so easily like that
You
I hate you even more now.
Lets go and sleep now
Ahh!
What's wrong what's wrong?
The unicorn!!
The unicorn ran away!!
Did you tie it up properly…
I did… tie it up I think…
It might have ran away from the giant karu's howl yesterday
Can this bicorn ride 4 people?
If it's this big then it should be fine, the problem now is…
Peco, try and touch the bicorn
Ehh…
Ouch!
As I thought it would not let a virgin ride it huh///
Yota…
Well… it cant be helped huh.
We can't just leave peco here and we can't just walk either.
Peko take of your underwear and face your ass here
We're copulating
Huh!?
If you're a non-virgin you can ride the bicorn
Hurry up and take it off
If you hate me that much then let's copulate in the agreed way and business like way
Chapter 103
I'll copulate with you
Haa
I'll do it how you want it professionally
Hurry up and take of your underwear and face your ass here
Just with one prick you'll be able to ride a bicorn.
Know your place
(mi no hodo wakimaenasai)
Huh?
(Peco, her only option left is)
If I have to copulate with you then I'd rather die right here right now.
In the first place I didn't have any business anyways, I'lll just go and head home alone.
If I have three days then I can walk back to mi-su so don't mind me please go on ahead without me
I've already learned plenty how wide the world is.
Even if I put in effort its useless
To lose to a man just by way of him existing is
No matter what dangers I face, it's better than procreating with a man who feels like a hero just for existing.
You know what peco
Then why is your pleasure fountain overflowing?
Eh!?
I get it peco…
We also walked the same path so…
You're getting excited imagining opulating with yota right?
You're wro-!
You should just give up
I know you know?
That peco draws lots of naked
Wai-!?
Why!?
It's famous.
That there are lots of pictures of naked men hanging in the room
Didn't you know?
You're interested in men aren't you
It can't be helped
It's alright
I'm sure it's the same for everyone so
It's not something to be ashamed about
You'll get it if you copulate with yota
To be honest
I am interested about copulating
But…
But…
I thought that men would be more beautiful but…
But… this…
For them to be this rugged and bony and an ugly being like this is…
Give it back…
Give back the beautiful men that I imagined
Give it back…
I've been denied whole heartedly while in tears
If you really don't want it, it can't be helped but…
If you have even a little bit of interest in copulating then please
I don't want to leave you here all alone.
At least…
Inside the tent please…
Oh my oh my
Hurry up and get it over with it already
If you look at her closely even though she's cute what an amazing smell
Well it's not like she's taken a bath yet
Even though you look like you really hate it your pleasure fountains bursting you know
Even though I haven't even touched you yet you're already really excited aren't you
Shut up!
What is this what is this?
Good it's come out already the non-virgin mark
With this it's settled then
Let's ride the bicorn and head off to sandorio.
But… if you want to apologise for all the rude things you did regarding me then I’ll continue copulating with you (?)
What will you do
She said lots of conceited things already…
Let's mess with her a little
Will she fall
Or perhaps she'll endure it
Tears
Eh!?
Hero-sama
Hero sama…
For not knowing my place and all the incalculable rudeness
I am sincerely very sorry
Oh Please bless this wretched pervert with copulation…
You didn't have to fall that far!
What's with you
Kuaah
I… I'm a pervert who loves men!
Always!
I'm a pervert who always imagines copulating with men!!
I didn't know!
That men were such strong beings like this!!
It's totally different
Than women!!
Thank you
Huh?
It's not something you have to say thanks for
No
Yesterday
For saving me
Aahh
105
Even with for people riding it this bicorn seems to be totally fine
Yeah! Because it's this big!
Before,
They say the humans of this world came out from that castle right
Yeah
Everyone was born in the castle and leaves the castle to start living in their own cities/towns
You leave the castle between when you become old enough to be self-aware or not so there are only hazy memories.
In this world without men, girls being born from a castle…
If you think about how it is, inside that castle it's like there's something pretty nasty about it inside…
Who on earth lives in the castle
The empress
Nobody has seen her face though
The empress has already lived for thousands of hears and protects this country
Eh?
Isn't that?
Could it possibly the witch?
But here,
Whether you can say bad things about the ruler of this land…
Well then let's head off
What a creepy forest
The shortest course would be through here right
We can't go fast here so it's also an opportunity to let the bircorn rest.
Please save me!
Uwah!
Kobold
What are these guys?
Kobold loves young girls and metal
They're aiming for our weapons
Peco?
Small fry…
As expected her martial arts is ruthless/can’t be excused
Are you alright?
b-big sister thank you…
It was scary…
She has an unexpectedly kind face huh
Everything is alright now
Peco had a little sister
They were killed though
Hey ru-mi sama
I want to take this child all the way to the city
That's impossible
Why?
I mean that child can't ride a bicorn right?
Wai-!
You planning on copulating with a child this young!?
I wasn’t!
Oh alright!! Then I'll walk and drop her home to the city myself!!
You guys can go on ahead first!
Like I said it's impossible peco
You definitely can't walk in the outside world alone.
LUMI=sama…
Aren’t you underestimating me a bit too much?
Just because I was saved once yesterday…
It's alright
There's an easy solution so
Eh?
Amane
I feel a bit sorry for them but this way it's settle
Let's hurry and move on
Peco look closely!
That childs a ghoul
Ghouls turn into people to let their guards down and then attack and eat them
Even if you cut of their arms and legs they’ll regenerate but their stomach is their weak point.
I'm sure it teamed up with the Cobolt to attack people.
The Cobolt for the metal and the ghoul for the human meat
How di did you know?
Ghouls have a special smell
The smell of human corpses
The ghoul made you let your guard down So I apologise I ended up saying it in such a roundabout way
But with this you understand now right?
I understand you have confidence in your martial arts but you can't walk the worlds outside of the city with just that.
I think that's why misaki wanted you gain experience.
See, look peco
Aren’t you glad you didn't have to go back to mi-su alone?
If you didn't mate with me you would've been dead by now.
Shut up
Why don’t you go die instead!!
Die you!!
Pp 106
The weather has been fine all the way…
At this rate we should already be arriving at sondorio!!
Just a bit ore nishina…
I defeated garia and I obtained the card that will free you from the cold sleep./ that will release the cold sleep
Once I get to sandorio I'll awaken nishina…
And then…
What on earth happened to her,
Why did she become the "wtich of deep jealousy"
Everything that I don’t know I'll hear from her!
Ah
It's sandoria!
Eh?
What's the matter amane?
What the? It's/something burning?
You're wrong
It's a beacon/signal fire right?
Does that mean something happened in sandoria?
What, is that…?
That’s…
What on earth happened?
We haven't met in the while huh
Kaduchi
Banyuu
Nakuta sama… what on earth does this mean?
It's proof of my resoution
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I WAS wakened - indeed, we were all wakened, for I could see even the sentinel shake himself together from where he had fallen against the door-post - by a clear, hearty voice hailing us from the margin of the wood: "Block house, ahoy!" it cried. "Here's the doctor." And the doctor it was. Although I was glad to hear the sound, yet my gladness was not without admixture. I remembered with confusion my insubordinate and stealthy conduct, and when I saw where it had brought me - among what companions and surrounded by what dangers - I felt ashamed to look him in the face. He must have risen in the dark, for the day had hardly come; and when I ran to a loophole and looked out, I saw him standing, like Silver once before, up to the mid-leg in creeping vapour. "You, doctor! Top o' the morning to you, sir!" cried Silver, broad awake and beaming with good nature in a moment. "Bright and early, to be sure; and it's the early bird, as the saying goes, that gets the rations. George, shake up your timbers, son, and help Dr. Livesey over the ship's side. All a-doin' well, your patients was - all well and merry." So he pattered on, standing on the hilltop with his crutch under his elbow and one hand upon the side of the log-house - quite the old John in voice, manner, and expression. "We've quite a surprise for you too, sir," he continued. "We've a little stranger here - he! he! A noo boarder and lodger, sir, and looking fit and taut as a fiddle; slep' like a supercargo, he did, right alongside of John - stem to stem we was, all night." Dr. Livesey was by this time across the stockade and pretty near the cook, and I could hear the alteration in his voice as he said, "Not Jim?" "The very same Jim as ever was," says Silver. The doctor stopped outright, although he did not speak, and it was some seconds before he seemed able to move on. "Well, well," he said at last, "duty first and pleasure afterwards, as you might have said yourself, Silver. Let us overhaul these patients of yours." A moment afterwards he had entered the block house and with one grim nod to me proceeded with his work among the sick. He seemed under no apprehension, though he must have known that his life, among these treacherous demons, depended on a hair; and he rattled on to his patients as if he were paying an ordinary professional visit in a quiet English family. His manner, I suppose, reacted on the men, for they behaved to him as if nothing had occurred, as if he were still ship's doctor and they still faithful hands before the mast. "You're doing well, my friend," he said to the fellow with the bandaged head, "and if ever any person had a close shave, it was you; your head must be as hard as iron. Well, George, how goes it? You're a pretty colour, certainly; why, your liver, man, is upside down. Did you take that medicine? Did he take that medicine, men?" "Aye, aye, sir, he took it, sure enough," returned Morgan. "Because, you see, since I am mutineers' doctor, or prison doctor as I prefer to call it," says Doctor Livesey in his pleasantest way, "I make it a point of honour not to lose a man for King George (God bless him!) and the gallows." The rogues looked at each other but swallowed the homethrust in silence. "Dick don't feel well, sir," said one. "Don't he?" replied the doctor. "Well, step up here, Dick, and let me see your tongue. No, I should be surprised if he did! The man's tongue is fit to frighten the French. Another fever." "Ah, there," said Morgan, "that comed of sp'iling Bibles." "That comes - as you call it - of being arrant asses," retorted the doctor, "and not having sense enough to know honest air from poison, and the dry land from a vile, pestiferous slough. I think it most probable-though of course it's only an opinion - that you'll all have the deuce to pay before you get that malaria out of your systems. Camp in a bog, would you? Silver, I'm surprised at you. You're less of a fool than many, take you all round; but you don't appear to me to have the rudiments of a notion of the rules of health. "Well," he added after he had dosed them round and they had taken his prescriptions, with really laughable humility, more like charity schoolchildren than blood-guilty mutineers and pirates - "well, that's done for today. And now I should wish to have a talk with that boy, please." And he nodded his head in my direction carelessly. George Merry was at the door, spitting and spluttering over some bad-tasted medicine; but at the first word of the doctor's proposal he swung round with a deep flush and cried "No!" and swore. Silver struck the barrel with his open hand. "Si-lence!" he roared and looked about him positively like a lion. "Doctor," he went on in his usual tones, "I was a-thinking of that, knowing as how you had a fancy for the boy. We're all humbly grateful for your kindness, and as you see, puts faith in you and takes the drugs down like that much grog. And I take it I've found a way as'll suit all. Hawkins, will you give me your word of honour as a young gentleman - for a young gentleman you are, although poor born - your word of honour not to slip your cable?" I readily gave the pledge required. "Then, doctor," said Silver, "you just step outside o' that stockade, and once you're there I'll bring the boy down on the inside, and I reckon you can yarn through the spars. Good day to you, sir, and all our dooties to the squire and Cap'n Smollett." The explosion of disapproval, which nothing but Silver's black looks had restrained, broke out immediately the doctor had left the house. Silver was roundly accused of playing double - of trying to make a separate peace for himself, of sacrificing the interests of his accomplices and victims, and, in one word, of the identical, exact thing that he was doing. It seemed to me so obvious, in this case, that I could not imagine how he was to turn their anger. But he was twice the man the rest were, and his last night's victory had given him a huge preponderance on their minds. He called them all the fools and dolts you can imagine, said it was necessary I should talk to the doctor, fluttered the chart in their faces, asked them if they could afford to break the treaty the very day they were bound a-treasure-hunting. "No, by thunder!" he cried. "It's us must break the treaty when the time comes; and till then I'll gammon that doctor, if I have to ile his boots with brandy." And then he bade them get the fire lit, and stalked out upon his crutch, with his hand on my shoulder, leaving them in a disarray, and silenced by his volubility rather than convinced. "Slow, lad, slow," he said. "They might round upon us in a twinkle of an eye if we was seen to hurry." Very deliberately, then, did we advance across the sand to where the doctor awaited us on the other side of the stockade, and as soon as we were within easy speaking distance Silver stopped. "You'll make a note of this here also, doctor," says he, "and the boy'll tell you how I saved his life, and were deposed for it too, and you may lay to that. Doctor, when a man's steering as near the wind as me-playing chuck-farthing with the last breath in his body, like - you wouldn't think it too much, mayhap, to give him one good word? You'll please bear in mind it's not my life only now - it's that boy's into the bargain; and you'll speak me fair, doctor, and give me a bit o' hope to go on, for the sake of mercy." Silver was a changed man once he was out there and had his back to his friends and the block house; his cheeks seemed to have fallen in, his voice trembled; never was a soul more dead in earnest. "Why, John, you're not afraid?" asked Dr. Livesey. "Doctor, I'm no coward; no, not I - not SO much!" and he snapped his fingers. "If I was I wouldn't say it. But I'll own up fairly, I've the shakes upon me for the gallows. You're a good man and a true; I never seen a better man! And you'll not forget what I done good, not any more than you'll forget the bad, I know. And I step aside - see here - and leave you and Jim alone. And you'll put that down for me too, for it's a long stretch, is that!" So saying, he stepped back a little way, till he was out of earshot, and there sat down upon a tree-stump and began to whistle, spinning round now and again upon his seat so as to command a sight, sometimes of me and the doctor and sometimes of his unruly ruffians as they went to and fro in the sand between the fire - which they were busy rekindling - and the house, from which they brought forth pork and bread to make the breakfast. "So, Jim," said the doctor sadly, "here you are. As you have brewed, so shall you drink, my boy. Heaven knows, I cannot find it in my heart to blame you, but this much I will say, be it kind or unkind: when Captain Smollett was well, you dared not have gone off; and when he was ill and couldn't help it, by George, it was downright cowardly!" I will own that I here began to weep. "Doctor," I said, "you might spare me. I have blamed myself enough; my life's forfeit anyway, and I should have been dead by now if Silver hadn't stood for me; and doctor, believe this, I can die - and I dare say I deserve it - but what I fear is torture. If they come to torture me - " "Jim," the doctor interrupted, and his voice was quite changed, "Jim, I can't have this. Whip over, and we'll run for it." "Doctor," said I, "I passed my word." "I know, I know," he cried. "We can't help that, Jim, now. I'll take it on my shoulders, holus bolus, blame and shame, my boy; but stay here, I cannot let you. Jump! One jump, and you're out, and we'll run for it like antelopes." "No," I replied; "you know right well you wouldn't do the thing yourself - neither you nor squire nor captain; and no more will I. Silver trusted me; I passed my word, and back I go. But, doctor, you did not let me finish. If they come to torture me, I might let slip a word of where the ship is, for I got the ship, part by luck and part by risking, and she lies in North Inlet, on the southern beach, and just below high water. At half tide she must be high and dry." "The ship!" exclaimed the doctor. Rapidly I described to him my adventures, and he heard me out in silence. "There is a kind of fate in this," he observed when I had done. "Every step, it's you that saves our lives; and do you suppose by any chance that we are going to let you lose yours? That would be a poor return, my boy. You found out the plot; you found Ben Gunn - the best deed that ever you did, or will do, though you live to ninety. Oh, by Jupiter, and talking of Ben Gunn! Why, this is the mischief in person. Silver!" he cried. "Silver! I'll give you a piece of advice," he continued as the cook drew near again; "don't you be in any great hurry after that treasure." "Why, sir, I do my possible, which that ain't," said Silver. "I can only, asking your pardon, save my life and the boy's by seeking for that treasure; and you may lay to that." "Well, Silver," replied the doctor, "if that is so, I'll go one step further: look out for squalls when you find it." "Sir," said Silver, "as between man and man, that's too much and too little. What you're after, why you left the block house, why you given me that there chart, I don't know, now, do I? And yet I done your bidding with my eyes shut and never a word of hope! But no, this here's too much. If you won't tell me what you mean plain out, just say so and I'll leave the helm." "No," said the doctor musingly; "I've no right to say more; it's not my secret, you see, Silver, or, I give you my word, I'd tell it you. But I'll go as far with you as I dare go, and a step beyond, for I'll have my wig sorted by the captain or I'm mistaken! And first, I'll give you a bit of hope; Silver, if we both get alive out of this wolf-trap, I'll do my best to save you, short of perjury." Silver's face was radiant. "You couldn't say more, I'm sure, sir, not if you was my mother," he cried. "Well, that's my first concession," added the doctor. "My second is a piece of advice: keep the boy close beside you, and when you need help, halloo. I'm off to seek it for you, and that itself will show you if I speak at random. Good-bye, Jim." And Dr. Livesey shook hands with me through the stockade, nodded to Silver, and set off at a brisk pace into the wood.
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