#ill go even FURTHER and say that trans people who actively go by multiple names are rad as fuck and its not very hard to respect that at all

[breakingbadfics]

Death of the author

CW: Light discussion of politics, mentions of the Alt-Right, and White Supremacists. 

Consider this a “Change of Pace” entry. I’m trying to figure out what the next essay is to be about as well as the eventual long term for this blog. 

I wrote this essay back in mid 2019, long before the idea of this blog would come to mind, it’s been lightly edited prior to posting and added to. and I think this essay shows some of my influences much more heavily than my other writings.

What does My Little Pony and The Matrix have in common?  Death of the Author. 

Death of the Author is not to be confused with “Separating the Artist from the Art,” a self explanatory concept to distance a work from a creator who’s beliefs are more than a little unpleasant, easiest example is acknowledging that, yes,  H.P. Lovecraft was a Mega-racist, however, his contributions to the horror genre have created a base that is nearly ubiquitous with the genre to this day, like wise with Orson Scott Card. this concept in itself is an especially controversial subject, but is not the focus of this piece.

Death of the Author is what allowed The Matrix, a movie with a collection of metaphors about being an lgbt person, and an activist for the rights of yourself and your allies to be grossly misinterpreted as a way to justify being a bigot, the most egregious misinterpretation being that of “The Red Pill Scene.”

In the context of the film, The Red Pill Scene is the part of the traditional heroes story where the hero “accepts the call”, Neo is quite literally making the choice to leave the safe world he’s been living in behind and embark on his adventure that will result in a death and rebirth into being The One who will save humanity. In the now very much understood to be the direct metaphor, it’s a scene in which Neo, the stand-in for a lgbt person, specifically a trans person, is being told by a much older lgbt person “You are trans, you have the choice to embrace it, but regardless of what choice you make from here on out the road ahead is going to be bumpy and rough on you, because the system around you is designed to make sure people like us aren’t able to prosper, and if you join us, you won’t be able to opt out.” 

That is the very understood metaphor that most people accept with the modern understanding after The Wachowski’s came out as Lily and Lana in the “post-matrix trilogy” reality of the real world.

However due to the Moral Neutrality of Death of the Author in other circles the Red Pill(and all the other metaphors in the film) takes on an alternative meaning. And I can be “polite” in my explaing the bad take on how this scene plays out, but just to hammer the point home we’ll get dirty so you can know where the take is coming from, The Red Pill Scene for White supremeacists, and The alt-right (but I repeat myself) is such.  Neo, a disgruntled white person is being told that the world is controlled by soulless machines. Jews, people of color, etx. Everyone around him is mind controlled and can and will attempt to stop him from saving the people smart enough to also realise they’re being held captive by non-whites and save them all. This of course, all being told to him by Morpheus, a black man. So have fun working your head around that. 

This of course the most extreme example being the most ubiquitous, poke around on chan sites and sooner or later you’ll see the phrase “red pill” having been memetically adjusted to mean “hey tell me about this thing” or even more specifically “I already had an opinion about this but either way I want you to confirm my choice.” But I digress. 

These two interpretations are so wildly on the opposite ends of the spectrum that the only commonalities between them is “You will likely need to be violent at some point” 

I’m naturally only covering the two interpretations, the matrix itself has been picked apart by an untold number of people and people interpret it in as many ways as possible in terms of philosophical meaning. That is the nature of Death of The Author. 

Death of the Author also covers in a round-a-bout fashion, selective canon, a subjective acknowledgement of canon elements throughout a long lived franchise- see; Star Wars, Star Trek, the belief that there was never any sequels to The Matrix. This variant of the philosophy allows one to be able to continue interactions with a text, specifically a text that consists of multiple volumes (or contributions, each one made by an individual author) but also deny interactions with parts that they personally dislike. 

More often than not, you can attribute the death of the author to a bad take in a case of fiction, another primary example being Fight Club, often missed for the scathing critique of unhealthy male behaviour and propped up as some sort of moral guideline for how to live your life. Which is again, not to say this is the fault of Death of The Author as a philosophy, it is morally neutral, these bad takes can more often be attribued to the simple fact that unless directly stating it most attempts at satire or parody will have a contingent of people who agree with what is said, not what is meant, and death of the author unfortunately does make that..very easy, for good, or ill. 

Where does My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fit in with all this?  Well there are certainly alt-right members of the brony fandom who are painfully missing the point, but we’ve already dwelled on the negative enough, so let’s get happy. 

In Episode 1 of Season 1, the first part of a two part pilot, in the background of a shot during a party scene; a pony with a grey coat and blonde mane and tail is seen in the background. This particular pony stood out the most amongst other background characters due to a mistake caused by the animation staff. According to the supervising director at the time, this particular error was spotted after hasbro greenlit the episode for air, and because it amused him he chose not to order a correction so it was left in as a nice little easter egg. 

The nameless background pony would eventually be caught by 4chan among other places and very rapidly developed a following of fans and given a nickname, Derpy Hooves. This particular following and new nickname would echo back to shows staff becoming the name internally referred to by the show’s staff. 

Friendship is magic creator Lauren Faust, who also enjoyed the popularity of the character when asked in an interview would state that a character named Ditzy Doo existed in an unaired episode, that would be implied to be this particular background pony, So naturally now depending on the fan this particular character would be reffered to as either Derpy Hooves, or Ditzy Doo.  

Ditzy Doo would go on to become a recurring easter egg with in the show, something similar to that of “where’s waldo” but with horses. This practice would continue until episode 14 of season 2  where the character would have a set of spoken lines and would be addressed by name. This however resulted in a degree of controversy in which some people expressed concern that the presentation of the character was an offensive attempt at portraying people with mental or physical disabilities. This event resulted in the episode being altered in future airings and the character disappearing from the show for the vast majority of Season 3. Beyond Season 3 the character would continue to appear until season 5 where they would finally have a voiced role in the 100th episode of the show, and then eventually having another speaking role in the christmas special “The best gift ever.”  It is also worth noting that Hasbro never gave her an “official name” with almost all of Ditzy’s merchandise either having no name present, or more often than not a singular image of a muffin in place of a name, even going so far as to have “Muffins” be the credited name she was given in all voiced instances of the show. 

Muffins, Ditzy Doo, or Derpy Hooves isn’t the only case of background characters growing a large following of fans with in the show; a variety of characters have been swept up by the fans, given names and personalities built entirely out of bit gags. Lyra, Bon Bon, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia Melody, and who knows how many more have all been seen in background moments which would be built on by fans and then echo back into the staff to be integrated into the show further. One would say this is fanon but at the end of the day, the writers and show staff had very little more intent with the characters beyond “does this background character look good?” and “Does this bit part character stand out enough to automatically be recognizable for the bit they need to be doing” it is still what I believe to be an example of Death of The Author, an act of choosing to ignore the intended meaning,and giving what amounts to window dressings a full life as fleshed out characters in fan content and in small instances of the show; an interpretation separate from the writers original intent. 

Now the question is does someone need to actively defy the author to participate in The Death There-of? No. I don’t believe so.  In much the same fashion no one need actually be a clan member to inadvertently say or do something that's passive aggressively racist(yes a bit of an extreme, I know) one need not actively defy the author, merely ascribe to an alternate interpretation of a work of fiction. Refer to Fight Club, the film does everything it can with out directly stating “most of the people in Fight Club and later Project Mayhem are bad people, because they were already doing the things Tyler Durden was ascribing to” and almost unilaterally all the bad takes are built around this idea that they’ve achieved the perfect ideal masculine because they’re the “living in the moment, violent psychopath” nihilist the movie is actively condemning. 

The simple fact is that death of the author ultimately, in a grand scale amounts to this; did a writers intent show through hard enough for their intent to be heard? And Subjectively, how much does a person believe in the meaning that they, or the writer themself have imparted into the story? 

[thesaltminers]

The Curious Case of Megan Derr

Megan Derr is the co-owner of Less Than Three Press, an indie LGBTQ publishing house--and she’s also their most prolific author. Before LT3’s founding, Megan posted her slash fiction on LiveJournal and Fictionpress, epicenters of older wank that unfortunately went unrecorded.

Over the years, Megan has been embroiled in several dramas, none of which impeded LT3’s growth. When juxtaposed with similar controversies, this lack of fallout becomes curious.

Was she just Not That Bad, comparatively? Did people not care? Or had Megan's navigation of the drama de-escalate any chance at a larger blow up? We investigate.

Why does Megan matter?

As visible co-owner of a successful and award-winning LGBTQ press, Megan is officially a gatekeeper. Her personal opinions matter and her voice reflects on her business… theoretically. Of course, in the past Megan has implied she was a martyr for the community, working so hard for them, whilst neatly minimising that her profit also comes from that same community

Nonetheless, she has a direct hand in what gets published, which is her right as co-owner. LT3 proactively publishes trans, bi, ace, and other less-exposed areas of the queer spectrum.

While this is obviously wonderful in a lot of ways, LT3's prominence in this particular publishing sphere becomes concerning when you realize that Megan Derr's personal beliefs and ethics drive the majority of the publishing decisions, and thus, what representation is produced. Given her avowed dislike of #OwnVoices (which will be expanded upon further in this report) and her insistence that the subject of a genre is not the audience for that genre, the implications are troubling.

We posit that Megan skirts the line of actionable offences, but works to "poison the well" or create a toxic environment. This is more ephemeral than other infamous instances of wank, but it is a long-running pattern of behavior with real consequences for both individuals and the community as a whole.

Social Media Climate

Recently, we compiled reports on Santino Hassell and Riptide Press, the latter of whom is still attracting attention for bad decisions.

Social media is primed for another explosion. The match was lit when the Bi Book Award finalists were announced and several Twitter users took umbrage with the two competing publishers of the year: Riptide Publishing and Less Than Three Press.  

The current call out

Twitter user BrookieRayWrite reacted to the Bi Award announcement with a threaded post, which included screenshots of Megan's past behaviour. They referenced two incidents: Megan’s dislike of #OwnVoices—a movement in publishing to uplift authentic minority experiences so that people could find content they felt connected to—and her blog post declaring M/M is for women.

However, this was not the first time someone tried to call out Megan. Heidi Belleau, an author LGBTQ romance, posted a comprehensive thread in 2016.

The rest of which, can be found here.

Nothing came from this Twitter call out. But now Heidi has resurfaced with her complaints about Megan, and with her comes an old wank standby to defend Megan--Aleksandr Voinov.

Yep. He called her crazy. In case you missed it, Heidi Belleau takes on this moniker to analyze its silencing and delegitimizing function. In short, Voinov is not only being ableist, he is actively working to create a hostile landscape to voices critical of Megan Derr.

Moments of Note

“No Gay Aces”

In an incident that went unrecorded, but that we witnessed at the time, an author published a book with a character who identified as “gay ace.” Incensed, Megan declared that there was no such thing. This conflict is worthy of note because its exemplifies Megan’s confidence in her own rightness and her refusal to ever back down from a position, a character trait that shines through in following events.

However, perhaps it also showcases Megan’s reaction when she knows she’s incorrect—as of now, the conflict seems to have been scrubbed from GoodReads. We hesitate to include unsupported facts, but feel it is important in Megan Derr's case to establish her pattern of behavior, in order to examine her tactics and strategy.

“Rose Lemberg”

At the height of #OwnVoices, Megan was becoming increasingly irritated over what she interpreted as a movement to outlaw people writing outside of their identity. She replied to a Tweet by Rose Lemberg—

Apparently Megan needed a reaction, because she Tweeted at Rose twice.

Megan's interpretation of “you are not doing us a favor,” as “don’t do this,” has the unfortunate implication that she believes writing outside of her identity is doing someone a favor.

When Rose removed themself from the conversation, Megan reacted thusly:

She steamrolls over Rose's "no spoons" comment, a clear signal in the disabled community that further engagement would be literally damaging to the respondent. The fact that she ignores that signal is incredibly ableist—and if she's ignorant about that, it just shows how unprepared she is to write disabled characters, thus proving Rose's point.

After confronting Rose, and not getting the response she wanted, Megan unfollowed.

Megan apologized for misgendering Rose, and we do not believe she would intentionally misgender someone. However, it does illustrate her "shoot first" nature.

“M/M Is for Women”

Turnabout is fair play, in a sense, because Megan had her own opportunity to open a discussion and then immediately block responses to it.

Megan lobbed quite the cannonball across the community’s bow with this fascinating retort against white cis gay men, prompted by a gay man who had called out the M/M genre for its fetishism of its subjects. Out of all her altercations, this one may be the most ill-advised (in a PR sense). It is also one where she found her audience not only unreceptive, but actively accusatory.

Whatever her point may have been, Megan said M/M wasn’t for gay men. Yes, Yaoi, BL, and slash fic was, on the surface level, fueled initially by a female audience. Yes, they fall under different genre conventions than the works of EM Forster and other literary authors. But there’s something undeniably and offensively entitled about declaring ownership of a genre over the actual subject of that genre.

When Megan felt that people were ignoring her reasoning unfairly, she shut down comments.

Friend/Colleague Exodus

If one were to casually take note of the comings and goings of Megan’s friends and colleagues, they may notice a gradual change in the cast of characters. The common denominator of this situation, of course, is Megan. There is a track record of Megan and her sister, Sam, saying oddly misguided and downright offensive comments to their authors, usually trans authors, at which point the relationship is ended and the author quietly moves on.

Water off a duck’s back

People in Megan’s sphere have probably noted that, controversy after controversy, nothing sticks. Even after years of wanky drama all throughout M/M’s history, with the inevitable apologies and flounces from the authors and readers at the center of each crisis, Megan keeps on trucking. The question is, what makes her different?

Leaving the realm of screenshots and facts, there’s only theory to go on. For instance, maybe the conflicts Megan faces are small enough, and far enough apart, that no one can exactly put into words why they think she should be called out. Or perhaps the people who dislike her realize some hypocrisy would come with accusing her of something. (Those in glass houses, etc.)

From a more practical angle, she almost never apologizes. Typically, the subjects of wank quibble, apologize several times, and release statements. Megan usually just posts a few accusatory tweets and then moves on after blocking anyone who could possibly question her worldview.

As evidenced by the more recent wanks, there is generally tangible evidence of harm with multiple victims stepping forward to detail their abuse. However, this takes years and momentum for this to occur. We know that Megan has her share of victims as well, and we know that they have experienced mental and emotional harm that has had real impact on their ability to work. Yet if people were to inspect why they don’t like her, would they only find several blog posts and Tweets that are abrasive and tone-deaf?

Her Modus Operandi has always been to aggressively confront someone she disagrees with (ex. Rose Lemberg) and then flounce/block when she’s challenged. Mirroring that, when someone confronts or disagrees with her, she immediately shuts down discussion (ex. M/M is for Women blog post).

As the co-owner of LT3, she also partly controls the narrative of indie LGBTQ publishing. Her choices and attitude influence the community tone and acceptable in-group culture, and, arguably, add toxicity. However, to pin down specific instances (and therefore confront and address them), is incredibly difficult—which is possibly why every call out thus far has dwindled without fanfare.  

In Summation

The overarching, and fascinating, truth about Megan is sometimes she makes sense. Unfortunately, she also says a lot of bullshit. This may come from a lack of ability to grasp nuance.

Does #OwnVoices put pressure on people to out their life circumstances for the sake of credibility? Probably, yes. But others feel confident in self-reporting, wanting their voices out there for others to hear them. Do people mispronounce white people’s names? Yes. But that doesn’t negate the racist undertones and microaggressions minorities face when people mock their names. These, among other situations, are odd hills Megan chooses to die on seemingly because she doesn’t want to understand them.

The current call out is in reaction to the Bi Awards. Certain authors have stepped forward to Tweet their protest of LT3's nomination. They argue that Megan, as the owner of LT3, has promoted an environment that does harm to bi voices, and they feel it is inappropriate for her to be celebrated in this specific context.

The situation is still developing. From here, we can see only two branching paths. Either those running the Bi Awards rescind LT3's nomination, or they do not.

But this event is dredging up old salt. As with any wank, one is left wondering what the conclusion should be; Exile? Apology? Loss of sales? What does a successful call out look like? Megan is a real person with a wife and a business that she has worked hard to develop. She publishes minority representation because she believes in that effort.

But her belief does not exculpate her.

She has managed to repeatedly dodge accountability. Whether this is through calculated tactics or a magical formula she managed to stumble upon doesn't change the fact that she has actively contributed to making the community hostile to marginalized people. It doesn't change the fact that her status as a major publisher among LGBTQIA online presses shields her, especially as those who would ordinarily call her out for bad behavior must hesitate and consider the economic ramifications of doing so.

Now, to guess what Megan might pull from this to deflect responding to the salient points? Probably that we mentioned her mom voted for Trump.

Interesting links: 

Heidi

http://archive.is/Aio1f

http://archive.li/1IknD

http://archive.li/SsQ41

Maria_Reads

http://archive.li/zPqGa

http://archive.li/kCInK

[lgbtcrashcourse]

Pride Month Lessons Syllabus

A month long crash course in gender, sexuality, lgbt+ history, culture, and activisim. 

The lessons cover guides and places to look when exploring personal identity as well how to talk respectfully to and about people who aren’t cis and/or straight. 

Week 1: Gender

Day 1: what is cis

definition

am I cis? Are you cis?

Day 2: what is gender?

gender expression

gender roles

historical gender

gender identities

meaning of gender

Day 3: what are pronouns?

some historical pronoun facts

how to refer to people

importance of pronouns

how to learn about and practice pronouns

Day 4: how do you know what gender you are?

lets go more in depth into what gender means

how people figure out gender

some terms that are helpful

some further resources

gender diagram

images of people with different genders

gender testimonials

Day 5: Trans and non binary folk and how best to talk to and about them respectfully 

what do you do if you don’t know someones gender? Or there pronouns?

trans and non binary identities and how you to talk and think about their gender

when you should ask people for their pronouns

pronoun hints tips and tricks

pronoun practice recap

dead names! How to talk about people in present and past tense.

Transition

what is it

what does it mean

social vs. hormonal vs. surgical

how to talk about someone who has transitioned, will transition, is undergoing a transition, or doesn’t plan on transitioning (she’s been a woman the whole time,)

Day 6: recap

what is gender (diagram)

A person is the gender they say they are. Take and conceptualize it at face value. If someone regardless of appearance, says they are a woman, then they are one. etc.

correct pronouns

some genders and definitions

how to conceptualize gender identity

a brief discussion about a current trans person in which we test how you’ve improved on things like not dead naming, understanding gender identity, and correct pronouns

Week 2: Sexuality

Day 1: what is sexuality

major sexualities (LGBQP lesbian, gay, bi, queer, pan, poly sexual, ace, aro etc)

romantic vs. sexual attraction (when it matters and when it doesn’t

some quotes and feelings from People with different kinds of attraction

Day 2: what sexuality am I?

what sexuality are you?

a complex description of what attraction is and how you know.

Day 3: gender and sexuality

how these things are related and not

a deeper dive into terminology i.e. sapphic, vs. lesbian vs. wlw, vs. nblw, vs. queer etc

Day 4: best practice when talking about sexuality

Chosen labels

speculation and labeling others :/

alphabet soup

Queer —> a complicated issue

slurs and reclaiming of slurs

who can you tell vs. not tell

Day 5: heteronormativity and microagressions

not seeing yourself in media

bad representation

censorship

tv

youtube and the ad controversy

Tumblr and the adult content controversy

shielding children from basic understanding of who they are as people

death by 1000 cuts

at work, out and about

what not to say

Day 5: recap

what is sexuality

best practice for labels

heteronormativity and smaller forms of less apparent discrimination

censorship and its ramifications

Week 3: History and Activism

Day 1: important historical figures that happen to be gay

newton

ann frank

shakespeare

da vinci

etc.

how we talk about gender and sexuality throughout history when it wasn’t explicitly stated since these people are no longer alive to tell us themselves

Day 2: sexuality throughout history

origin of homosexual and heterosexual as words

origin of queer, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and asexual

famous gay and non straight folks and how they contributed to lgbt+ history

art and literature

Day 3: gender through history

gender and colonialism

historical trans and non binary figures and how terms and understanding evolved

how advances in medicine helped inform the lgbt+ community

mental illness vs. de medicalizing lgbt+

art and literature

Day 4: lgbt+ movements in the US and abroad

Day 5: activism

current struggles

in the US

housing for homeless youth

gender recognition on ids

the right to use the restroom

you can still get fired for being gay legally in most of the US. The cake case and the ruling happened and thats not great

gay adoption

conversion therapy

globally

history of the movement

activism in art and literature

Day 6 Recap: how has the history of lgbt+ culture impacted modern day

How do we talk about historical lgbt+ folk

How has our understanding of gender changed with time?

How about sexuality?

what are some current lgbt+ movements?

Week 4: Culture and Recap

Day 1: the modern lgbt+ community

how we talk about each other

celebrities and how we talk about lgbt+ who are famous and out (or not)

current issues, concerns, and controversy

lgbt+ folk and the media

good representation

bad representation

queer coded characters

why” he’s gay but its never mentioned in the text” is unhelpful

one lgbt+ person alone is unrealistic because we Find each other even when we don’t know what we are yet

censorship

Day 2: the role of the ally

we need you:

help fight for rights

defend us when we aren’t in the room

promote lgbt+ folk in the workplace

gain a comfort level with lgbt+ issues

teach this comfort level to others

when writing, creating, watching, or sharing media consider lgbt+ representation

the most important thing to learn is to keep learning. 

No one is unproblematic. 

Being willing to continue to listen to lgbt+ folk and continue to learn new things is the most important and helpful thing you can do.

Day 3: gender recap

Day 4: sexuality recap

Day 5: history and activism recap

Day 6: Test

2 parts

1 part exam with write ins and multiple choice

1 part conversation where we talk about lgbt+ folk and issues

You will be marked on your correct knowledge of best practices when talking about people that aren’t straight and/or cis. And also on your knowledge of history, culture, gender, sexuality, and activism of the lgbt+ community

Day 7: debrief

your questions, comments, and concerns

any final things you want to learn

my advice for areas to keep studying up on

any further resources I have to give

suggested further topics/ info to research

[introtogenderstudiesatuds]

Trans* and Inter Studies: Summary of Chapter 1 “Trans*: What’s in a Name?” in Trans*: A Quick and Quirky Account of Gender Variability (2017) by Jack Halberstam

The first chapter of the book Trans* by Jack Halberstam gives the reader a brief introduction to trans* history, how the book is structured and explains the importance of names. Halberstam goes on to use examples from books such as Dickens’s novel Great Expectations to further highlight the significance assigned to names. Nowadays it is difficult to imagine that a person might not be able to find a fitting name for themselves, but not too long ago this was the reality that people who did not conform to the norm had to face. The early term of “invert” is brought up through Radclyffe Hall’s novel The Well of Loneliness (1928), which at the time described women that were attracted to women as “a male soul trapped in a female body” and men that were attracted to men as “a female soul trapped in a male body” (Halberstam 4). It was not until a shift in the societal structure occurred during the industrial revolution, a time in which the division of social classes became a crucial matter, that terms to categorise different people were further explored. In that time the process of naming was far more medical and served as a tool to control the masses. It was then that sexual tendencies weren’t considered just sexual acts anymore but contributed to a person’s sexual and gender identity. The author then goes on to explain that whereas terms such as homosexuality or heterosexuality already had a history, the term trans* as a term that describes all sorts of trans* identities, had yet to write its history. This history is still going through some changes as medical advances progress and becoming one’s true self becomes gradually easier. As big companies, such as Facebook, are starting to offer a larger array of possibilities to identify oneself on social media, many people might think that we are slowly getting away from the binary gender structure and towards a more open, less binding and more fluent construct.  This is not necessarily true though, as even these more gender fluid terms are often still based on the archaic binary structure that has been the norm for many centuries. Even though the usage of these terms becomes more frequent, one must consider the historical background and the evolution of the meaning of some of these terms. Here the author uses a gay bar called “Trannyshack” as an example, which was opened in the 80’s by a drag queen called Heklina. The name of the bar would later, in the beginning of the 21st century be highly criticised, because of the bad connotation the word “tranny” had gained over the course of 20 years. The owner argued that when the Trannyshack first opened its doors the term “tranny” was used as an endearing term for transsexual people and not as a slur, and this was later supported by LGBT celebrities such as RuPaul, who is undeniably the most famous drag queen in our day and age, and is highly influential thanks to his casting show RuPaul’s Drag Race. Finally, the author talks about statistics about trans people in which gender, race and class play a crucial factor and goes on to talk about the fact that just like for gay men and lesbian women, the term “transgender” has been removed from the list of disorders and replaced by the term “gender dysphoria”. He ends by saying that we might not know what will happen to gender or transgender in the decades to come but that we certainly know about “[their] past, [their] present and [their] potentialities” (Halberstam 21).

by Pierre Weiwers

***

According to Jack Halberstam's book, Trans* A Quick and Quirky Account of Gender Variability, 1.4 million transgender people are currently living in the US (cf.p.18) and they strive for acceptance, recognition, and visibility (cf.p.17). Nowadays, especially young people are familiar with a "gender-variant-language" (p.9), but only 30 years ago, seemingly simple terms like "transgender" were not present in day-to-day life. Halberstam, who happened to be a teenager at that time, states that if he had known the term transgender back then he "would have grabbed hold of it like a jacket on rough seas" (p.1). Names and labels help people understand who they are, as well as they help others when it comes to identification and classification. The history of naming began with botany, merged into anthropology and finally lead to sexology (c.f.p.7):  about 130 years ago during a time of growing industrialization and urbanization, sexuality and gender became disciplines of psychoanalysis (cf.p.6). One specific sexologist named Richard von Kraft-Ebbing introduced a handbook on what he called the "contrary sexual instincts", which documented "the variety of forms within which the sexual instinct could be expressed." (p.7). And in the following years "categories were under rapid construction" (p.6). Those categories serve as building blocks for our current investment in the naming of all specificities of gender (c.f.p.7). However what has changed is the number of vernacular terms that emerged within communities in order to give a name to multiple sexed and gendered identities. Halberstam considers this particular break away from medical control to be one of the biggest achievements of the past decades (c.f.p.10) and the marking of a new period rich in narratives of LGBTQ+-expression (c.f.p.11). The author chose the title "trans*" with special attention to the asterisk which holds open the term's meaning and as he says: "makes trans people the authors of their own categorization" (p.4). Despite the increasing trans* activism (c.f.p.17) and public visibility trans* people still face harassment, discrimination and are likely to suffer from mental illnesses (c.f.p.19). Halberstam, however, states that "punishment can lead to protest" (p.16) and does that not mean that discrimination and suppression can lead to activism? The first chapter's last page mentions the commonly used slogan: "the future is female", but Halberstam questions the subject matter: the future could be female, but couldn't it also be "genderless, gender variable, gender optional or none of the above" (p.21)?

[everysea-everystar-blog]

Otherkin Challenge

I got this challenge from the blog @justanotherkin and thought it would be a good thing to fill out on my new tumblr! I’ve made very minor changes to some questions. 

1. What name do you go by? What is the significance of it to you? 

The name I go by usually isn't something I’m very comfortable with sharing here, but that has a lot of importance to me because I’m transgender and choosing my name has made me a lot happier. Online, I tend to go by Bumble, which is just a silly nickname but cheers me up. I believe my selkie-self is called Sìoda but I don’t call myself that. 

2. How old are you? What is the gender you identify as? (human) 

I’m 18 and I’m a nonbinary trans guy. 

3. What are your kintype(s)? 

Selkiekin, alienkin, spiritkin, felinekin, and I’m questioning monsterkin. 

4. How long have you known that you are otherkin? How old were you when you awakened? 

I think I’ve pretty much always seen myself as nonhuman and had connections to certain species and such, from a very young age. However, I didn’t know about the existence of otherkin or therians until much later, and was actually against the communities for many years. I think I was just in denial and wanted to join in with everyone else making fun of otherkin. I only started getting involved with the community about a week ago. 

5. How did you find the otherkin community? 

At first through tumblr, and then just searching around for forums and group chats. 

6. How does being otherkin affect your life? 

It doesn’t really affect me much daily, though I definitely feel a disconnect from humanity almost all the time. I do experience “species dysphoria” but I wouldn’t compare it to the level of discomfort that gender dysphoria brings me. I also have some paranoia about friends/family finding out about my identity. I’m homesick most of the time, too. 

7. Are you “out of the metaphysical closet”? If so, to whom? 

The only people I’m really “out” to are those on otherkin group chats or forums, and that’s very anonymous to be honest. I spoke briefly about my worries with my best friend a little while before joining the community, but didn’t want to press the issue further because she clearly doesn’t get it. She wasn’t mean about it though. 

8. How did/would your family react to you being otherkin? 

They would either laugh at me, ignore me, or think I’m crazy. Probably all three. (Sidenote: I am actually mentally ill, so I think my parents would believe that me being otherkin is a symptom of this. I know that isn’t the case, but there you go.) 

9. What does being otherkin mean to you? 

It simply means that I am aware of my nonhuman identity and my nonhuman selves, in whatever form that might take. It’s just a part of my daily life that I’ve recently come to terms with and makes me understand myself better. 

10. How do you believe you came to be otherkin? Is it a psychological connection? Were you reincarnated? Explain. 

This depends on which kintype we’re talking about, so I’ll give it a go: 

Selkie: I’m living a parallel life with my selkie self 

Alien: I was “reincarnated” into my human body from an alien life, and my soul is still alien 

Spirit: As a being, I’ve always been a guardian spirit 

Feline: I have a feline soul alongside mine 

11. What do you hope the otherkin community will be like in ten years? Are you for public awareness or against it? Why or why not? 

I hope that the community is even bigger in ten years time, and hopefully viewed with less contempt from the outside world. However, I’m not really for public awareness, because I think it will only bring us more hatred. Also, I don’t view us kin as an oppressed group, and would therefore like to focus more on the support of genuinely oppressed groups such as POC and LGBTQ+. 

12. Do you have phantom/astral limbs? What are they and how do you feel them? 

While not so much a phantom/astral limb, I often feel the texture of my seal’s tail as a selkie on my legs, as well as other sensory experiences like seaweed and cold ocean water around me. I also have nose and mouth twitches that I believe are related to my cat’s whiskers. 

13. Do you mental shift? Have you ever harmed yourself or someone else during one? 

I do mental shift sometimes, but it’s never been dangerous. The only possible danger is that I might try to do things that my human body can’t really do (e.g. swim in very dangerous waters, go on very long forest walks - I have a disability so this is impossible). 

14. Have you ever mental shifted at a time when it could be considered inappropriate? 

I think some of the times that I go nonverbal (I’m autistic) are triggered by mental shifts, and that’s always “inappropriate” or at least inconvenient. 

15. Do you astral project or practise any occult crafts? 

 I’m a witch currently trying to get back into his practise. 

16. Do you feel you are any sort of danger to society? 

Not at all! I might have some “weird” beliefs and be nonhuman but I’m generally very peaceful. I wouldn’t hurt anyone unless they hurt me or someone I loved. 

17. Does your nonhuman identity complicate everyday life for you? If so, how? 

As aforementioned, the only real impact being nonhuman has on my daily life is feeling disconnected from humanity. This does cause a decent amount of social and emotional issues, as well as “species dysphoria” interfering with my moods. 

18. Why do you believe are here as a human? 

I’m not really sure about this one to be honest, but it could be linked to me being spiritkin: maybe I’ve been sent to specifically protect the nature on earth for the time being. Still unsure, though. 

19. Are you active among the otherkin community? 

Recently, yes! I’d love to be more active on the tumblr kin community too, but I’m scared about all the anti//kin things that I might end up seeing. 

20. Are you religious? What faith do you follow? Does it contradict your otherkin identity or do you feel that the two are synonymous somehow? 

I don’t follow any sort of organised religion; I like to think of myself as a semi-theistic Pagan. I believe in Mother Earth and have thoughts of a great Universal Spirit, but I don’t “worship” them as such. This does’t contradict with me being otherkin at all - in fact I think it might explain my spiritkin identity. 

21. Have you ever been emotionally, verbally, or physically harrassed simply for being otherkin? 

I haven’t experienced this directly, but the fear of it happening is why I’m very private and secretive about being otherkin. I’ve witnessed a lot of online bullying and mockery of us, and for a long time I was one of those people being mean to otherkin/therians because I just wanted to fit with what I saw people saying. 

22. Do you efel you are oppressed because you are otherkin? 

No, not really. Oppression is based in societal systems and ingrained belief, and to be honest it makes complete sense that humans wouldn’t understand people claiming to be nonhuman to any extent. I do think that the bullying and mockery is unnecessary and cruel, but I wouldn’t call it oppression. 

23. What is your take on fictionkin/mediakin/factkin? What about machinekin and appliancekin? 

I’m not sure I really understand fictionkin, but I’m not really against it. However, anyone who gets angry at a writer or other person involved with fiction because they aren’t adhering to their kin canon is just rude, and threatening to harm yourself over this is incredibly disturbing. I would consider myself fictionhearted with multiple characters, and have no problem interacting with fictionkin as long as they aren’t rude like I said before. I definitely have a problem with factkin, as I just see that as identity theft. I really can’t get my head around machinekin and anything else that isn’t living or spiritual, because I don’t believe that a non-living thing can exist in a human body, but I don’t think those people are inherently bad. 

24. Did the awakening process seem relatively easy or difficult to you? Why? 

If I refer to the process of accepting my nonhuman identity as my “awakening” then it was definitely difficult. Like I said, I spent years making fun of otherkin - not actively or online, but with friends, and I would sometimes look at the tags on tumblr - which I know realise was me trying to cope with being nonhuman. Making the transition to acceptance was scary. 

25. What do you think of the information provided online about otherkin - is it relevant or not? 

Most of the things I’ve found have been relevant, but a lot of articles written by non-kin just don’t have a very good understanding. 

26. How has your otherkin/therian identity defined you as a person? Do you feel as if it has given you morals that you didn’t have before? 

I think that coming to terms with my nonhuman identity has helped me be more accepting of other people’s identities as long as they don’t harm themselves or others. I think my general confusion surrounding vegetarians/vegans comes from me being selkiekin and felinekin, but I have nothing against those people. 

27. Have you learned any life-long lessons due to your otherkin identity? 

Nothing is what it seems. 

28. What do you want to do with your life? 

I’d like to go into animal care as a career (e.g. pet rehoming shelters, conservation, ethical farming, animal sanctuaries, etc.) as well as being a writer and musician on the side. I’m willing to do any job in the meantime that doesn’t involve too much social interaction. 

29. Do you have any tips or advice for young and/or newly awakened otherkin? 

Get the “tumblr savior” browser extension (or any alternative you prefer, I think xkit is quite popular, do your research) and blacklist any anti//kin tags you can think of. This will bring you a lot of mental peace, trust me. Surround yourself with positivity but remember to keep a critical eye. Find ways to live in balance with your kintype(s) as opposed to having a jarring double existence. You may have to accept the fact that “coming out” as kin in your public life will likely cause more harm than good. Make online friends. 

30. Anything else you’d like to share with us? 

I’m so glad I’ve finally joined this community - I’d been scared for years.