#ik some pals were worried about me so i figured i'd share this instead of just journaling it

[ghostzzy]

izzy update:

1. turns out i’m dying because my new (already lower) dose of zoloft tablet has been improperly manufactured -- i was the 17th person my psychiatrist has seen in the last two week who has shit out on their meds because of this. so if u take zoloft tablets produced by cipla (it’ll say on ur bottle) and suddenly ur shit isn’t working anymore, talk to your doctor abt getting a capsule version or going brand for a bit. 

anyway all this is to say, i’m not crazy, i didn’t do anything wrong, i just got unlucky with a bad batch of pills, and the timing of it lining up with my pms means i was probably absorbing almost no zoloft at all, essentially throwing my body into cold-turkey withdrawal. i’m gonna get back on my higher dose capsules for now and i’ll go back to tapering down when we can get our hands on some meds that aren’t fucking busted. 

2. i scheduled an appointment for next week with a neurological rehab that may be able to help with my dysautonomia -- i’m skeptical but tentatively hopeful, the methods make sense to me and this clinic has exclusively positive reviews from patients with chronic pain and fatigue. no clue if my insurance is going to cover any of it though but like. fingers crossed and will keep you guys posted.

3. i also cleaned my room, cooked lunch, washed the dishes, took out the recycling, and didn’t cry at all today. the power of taking a sick day tbh. i’m really proud of myself for getting all this done and handled and getting things back on track now that i know what’s wrong and what we’re doing to fix it. i should only feel This Bad for a few more days and then things will start to be good again.