#ik it's still precarious. the abyss is right behind me and if i skimp on exercise i will be right back there. but for the moment !! joy
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i can feel myself heal in real time and it's perhaps the wildest thing ive ever experienced
#regaining typing stamina has changed the game in ways impossible to articulate#writing again naturally pulls drawing again back into the mix#i can see songs again. i wake up in the morning and scroll obsidian for an hour like i used to#it's a natural motion!!! no longer just pulling it up listlessly chasing old habits and flicking thru random notes hoping i feel smth again#but following a spark from my dreams and then note after note after note until smth accumulates and i get up to write/draw more#in a fever haze almost. I CAN SEE SONGS AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!#also struck by. the simply ability to scroll things on my phone. none of the evil pinch in my wrist that tells me even that is too much#it is wild. it's a happiness you can only experience after the bullshit ive been thru#elia txts#ik it's still precarious. the abyss is right behind me and if i skimp on exercise i will be right back there. but for the moment !! joy#sorry for being so flaky on social contacts but i need to do this for myself#i was social for years and it directly contributed to putting me in this hell. i will have my fill of oc central now i hope you understand#<3
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