#ignore the shading it doesn't make sense lol

[alicornze7]

slime rancher my beloved

[plutonianeris]

pick a pile: how does this new love feel like a fairytale? ⛓️💗

this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Interpret & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. messages can be either from you, them or both🍒

𓆩♱𓆪Pile one

right off the bat this is someone whose been eyeing you for a while. they could be the type that stare in awe at the pictures you post on social media “so pretty” or when they met you that have that immediate attraction.. “who is that?” lol them asking their friends when you walk in. this honestly feels like a fairytale because theyve been wanting you for a while but theyve been super patient i heard “no hard feelings” theyre actually so sweet (im getting water sign suns: cancer, pisces, scorpio energy oop 🙈).

like they have no problem admiring you from afar at alllll. they are mesmerized by you. and honestly they could have been a little toxic before meeting you (not abusive, but someone unable to share their emotions in a healthy way). it seems like they dont want u to see them in the shades and shadows of their trauma, wounds, healing. for them you are the light at the end of that tunnel. i heard “my day was pretty shitty until you showed up” they are willing to work hard for you. they are also very attractive & in an unconventional way (unique hair, being really tall, tattoos, something like that makes them stand out especially in their friend group).

💌letter from their pov;

I know you dont need me. you dont really look like the type to depend on anyone. I can see it in the way you eye people, especially men, with suspicion. you question my motives and thats fair. when youre that beautiful and charming, theres bound to be people that just want to use you. that are dying to be in you energy just to get the chance to say they were in your presence. i dont wanna be like that. i dont wanna be another read message in your phone. i dont wanna be another face that disappears in the crowd for you. and i know you feel that way too. that the worst thing for you isnt to be talked about. its to be ignored. its to be underestimated. trust me when i say since the moment i laid eyes on you, i never once doubted you. i know you are capable of bringing men to their knees with your eyes. i know that your laugh makes my pulse speed up. i know that you make me feel special. and sometimes i get jealous, wondering if you make other people feel that way too. I want to give you the whole world if you just let me.

𓆩♱𓆪Pile two

this new love feels like a fairytale because this happened in the moment when you’re least expecting it and also after you’re recovering from something. Whether it be a relationship break up with a partner or you just changing things in your life, like moving to a different neighborhood or no longer believing in certain things that were very important in your belief systems in the past. this is like a prince or princess, waiting to rescue you. At first, though it seems like you’re suspicious of this energy. You could find that they are way too good with their words. “too good to be true” “I bet you say that to all the girls/guys” energy. but honestly, it seems like you’re the only one that can keep up with them. You don’t give into them like other people do, and they constantly want to impress you by telling you random facts or teaching you about some thing they learned abroad or when traveling.

I am getting a sense that they are very flirty, but with other people it never goes past that it’s just something they do in the moment or theyre just really playful. But even as they’re talking to someone else, their eyes can’t seem to leave you even if you’re across the room. You like your routine and consistency so changing things about your own life is hard, much less accepting other people in. So when they flirt with you, you might not immediately flirt back. you might roll your eyes, but you can’t help but smile when they turn away. you could be someone with earth placements, especially capricorn or virgo. They give off a lot of mischievous energy. This other person could have a gemini placement, third house placements or ninth house placements (if ur into astro).

💌letter from their pov;

Relationships have never really been a priority for me. I mean, cmon I'm young. Isn't it the whole point to experience as much as I can? I know other people have things to say about me.. maybe I lead some people on. Maybe sometimes you feel that way too. But I promise it's not really like that. Well, with you, it isn't. I'm just inexperienced. And I guess that doesn't really stop me from flirting so much and being so cocky…But the truth is I crave your attention badly. You look like you really know what you want in life. And for me, that's all I ever wanted. Because when you know what you want, you get it. and thats when you really start living. After that, even our mistakes are our own and beautiful and intimate in their own way. I see the weariness in your eyes when you look at me. I know you're wondering if I am even worth your time. I promise I am. I promise I can be. And if I'm not, then you can just never speak to me right then and there, I swear. But I know there's more than weariness in your gaze as well. I know you are just as curious about me as I am about you.

𓆩♱𓆪Pile three

This love feels like a dark romance. This pile is not as lighthearted as the previous two at all. It feels like a fairytale in that "magical" sense though because it will feel like love at first sight. You both will feel immediately physically attracted to the other but what makes it even more intense is that at first no one seems to be able to make the first move. It might seem too good to be true to the point where you don't even wanna disturb the "illusion." You dont wanna burst the bubble. Also, the magnetic attraction you feel/ that slow burn makes it even more desirable for both of you. In synastry, you both might have a lot of conjunctions (especially with pluto, moon, and mars). I also pulled north node synastry as well (and this synastry makes it feel like you're meant to be aka its destiny. but its also uncomfortable). "I have never felt like this before" energy.

Honestly, I see this pile as being able to go both ways and it can easily make you feel heartbroken. You might have venus-pluto placements yourself or 8th house placements or they do. When you are together though, you both hate when other people interrupt. You love your alone time. It feels really good. This pile is all about intense eye contact, glancing down at each others lips, meeting in secret, getting jealous when other people try to talk to the other, hands brushing as you walk but never fully touching. But then devouring each other when alone (if you both end up trusting each other when to get there because, again, one of you or both are hesitating). If you open your heart and learn to trust and communicate in a healthy manner, it could be a life changing connection.

💌letter from their pov;

It feels wrong to fantasize about you the way I do. But I can't really help it. I think about the way your back would feel arched under my palm. your lips on mine, tongues meeting, teeth clashing. I look at your hands and imagine them gripping the sheets at the same time I grip your thighs. It feels wrong that these are things that have crossed my mind since I first met you. sometimes I try to lie to myself. Tell myself that maybe im not really that into you. but its such bullshit. even then, theres the what if. what if. what if. it looks like every odds are against us. we are complete opposites. it might never work. but im willing to take that risk. im willing to bet on us. even if it falls apart. but judging from the way you freeze up when we make eye contact I know its far beyond that. I know you felt it too. the day we met, how you paused. i know that we would love hard. and fall harder. and if it doesnt work out, it would be devastating. and yet, i would still decide to do it all over again. and you would too. life is too short. I dont want us to be a what-if.

[zomb-rabbit]

Rubbing my hands together evily again

Wondering if I could make another request of it's alright

Tim, Brian, and Evan (I have favorites hehe) with a gn or Afab s/o whos an artist and sees them as a muse

(could be sfw could be nsfw whatevers more fun)

Tyty and your works are great :3!!

-🐟

hi !! glad to see you're taking requests for evan :) I was wondering if you could do some hcs for Evan with a reader who draws/sketches a bunch?? like they always use evan for inspo in drawings and they draw things they do in their relationship?? maybe something about how evan catches them looking and drawing him when they think he's not looking.. and maybe if you'd like you could include habit and his reaction to it as well.. I hope this makes sense and isn't too much!! if it is feel free to ignore 🫶

i decided to combine these two just to make it easier for navigation and all that, i hope that's okay !! thank you both soso much :) <333

🚬📹☠️🐇 Tim Wright / Brian Thomas / Evan Myers / HABIT x artist!reader

· · ·

Tim :

listen

he hates to pry. he really does.

but he wants to see EVERYTHING

he's trying to sneak peaks going behind the couch when your drawing in the living room, oh-so-conveniently needing to be in your guys' room when you're working on something at your desk- he thinks he's being very covert

he's an awkward and easily embarrassed man, he doesn't think to just ask to see no matter how many times you tell him he can

he is thoroughly thrown through a loop when he sees you drawing him

he has some. not great self esteem regarding all of the things he's been through and been told, and he has good reason to be anxious about most things- especially someone important leaving him

him getting reassurance that you actually do like how he looks and that you love him so much he's stuck in your mind when he's gone means so, so much more than he could ever comfortably express.

he does try to, though

through embarrassed and deeper mumbled praise, some red tinted cheeks and his finger nervously rubbing at the edge of the page

he asks if he can keep a smaller doodle on him :)

Brian :

YOUR !! BIGGEST !!! SUPPORTER !!!!

he's hyping you up however he knows possible

he was a theater and film kid, there's no way he didn't meet a couple art kids in there

he'll get a real good look at whatever it is you show him before he points out things like the shading in a particular area looks really good, the line art flows really well, things like that

as a former (short term lol) actor, he knows how frustrating it can be to just hear a "that looks great!" when you've worked really hard on something

if you draw HIM?? he's beyond flattered

and a little taken aback by how much you remember of him

Brian's big on trying to figure out other people, understand what makes them the way they are, what they're gonna do- so much so i think that he can forget how much other people soak him in, too

so when you showcase all of your focus and love for him through your art, it fixes up his worldview a little bit

he has a big burst of that "this is why i love you" feeling and he looks at you with the biggest dopiest smile

if you let him keep any of the work you do he'll try to find a way to keep at least one of them on him at all times

in his wallet, phone case, jean pocket, something like that

he just wants a little bit of you wherever he goes :)

Evan :

HE LOVES IT SO MUCH

little doodles on the grocery list, scribbles on the corner of a reminders list, drawing on his hand when you get bored; you name it and he's gonna cherish it

he thinks it's the cutest thing when you think he can't see you looking up at him every now and then while you're buried in your sketchbook across the couch

you have an entire page that's getting decorated with scattered snapshots of your life together

the two of you with your foreheads pressed together laughing at each other from when he was trying to butter you up to try and get you to go to a specific place for dinner, how he looked at you when you cut your finger making lunch and he decided he hand to kiss all over your hand for good measure- so many small moments that meant the world in both of your hearts and, eventually, you end up wanting to show him what you've been working on

and he may or may not have gotten a little bit very emotional about it

you just mean so much to him

this poor man has been through and lost so much

he's so grateful for you, and to know that you're so grateful for him as well? and enough to cherish the same moments he does and immortalize the two of you like that? he's gone

HABIT :

NOOOSSSSYYYYYYYYYY BASTARD

you couldn't hide a crumb from him

he's known you've been drawing him since the first time you did it because he is a little SPY

he can be so quiet when he feels like it, and he wants to see eeeeverything you draw

the process intrigues him

if he caught you looking up and back down to your sketchbook at him, i can see him doing two things

going over and seeing how the drawing looks already because he wants to know what you think he looks like

OR rapidly switching positions for you to draw him in, "is this my good side? make sure you get my face. can you draw me with blood? i want blood-"

he is very proud to be your muse, though

he'll hang up any finished pieces you let him have

[writerwithnofreetime]

Random Headcanons for Aokiji/Kuzan

established relationship implied?

Note: I’ve been a fan of this type of content for a while, so I wanted to try my hand at actually writing it :)! If you have any suggestions, formatting tips, or feedback pls let me know! Enjoy :)

Fluff/Sfw

Kuzan is definitely the type whose love language is lazing around together.

The two of you can often be found under the shade of a tree, a book in your hand as he naps quietly in your lap.

It's interesting. I don't see him as the type to actually be married (not in the traditional sense at least) but once he has his long-time partner, he's yours.

All that flirting he used to do with randoms is replaced with him mentioning you every five seconds lol

Kuzan: 'my s/o, my s/o, my s/o'

He doesn't strike me as the jealous type, but he will not stand for anyone blatantly hitting on you in front of him.

He won't lash out per se, just give them an icy stare

He's also not very possessive. You're your own person and free to do whatever you like.

Trying to make him jealous would be pointless. He's too easy going.

He also doesn't think anyone could take him from you tbh.

Kuzan is quite flirtatious, and I think that he would appreciate a partner who's not afraid to flirt back.

"Oi, you're a pretty one! You free tonight?" To which you respond with a forwardness he usually never receives

Oh, he's tuned IN.

I also think it would be quite funny fitting for him to end up with a s/o that completely ignores him every time he hits on them

No blushing, no reaction, just carrying on like nothing was said

He'd be determined to get you to acknowledge him

I'm going to end up making a pt 2 I have so many for him lolol

nsfw below

Nsfw(ish)

CW: Fingering, Temperature Play, Nipple play, dirty talk, Slight (very slight) sadism, use of the word 'cunt'

If you're willing, you guys would fuck the first night.

He's grown as fuck. There's no point in waiting if it's what you both want.

If you're not with it, no worries. He doesn't mind waiting.

Whenever you two end up hooking up, it will definitely be a pleasant experience.

I know everyone else hcs him as a lazy lover, but I beg to differ.

He is slow- and deliberate. Especially the first time you guys have sex

You're in very good hands. Excellent hands. Dexterous hands.

He knows how to use his fingers.

Temperature play is definitely involved. Kuzan feels it would be a waste of his devil fruit otherwise.

He's a very soft dom with a slight (and I do mean slight) torture kink. He'll coax you through everything.

He consistently talks FILTHY.

You'll be whimpering in his lap, with two fingers deep in your cunt while his other hand nips at your nipples

"Tell me, baby, does it feel good? Good enough to make you cream on my fingers?"

He's going to take his time exploring your body. Foreplay won't end until he's certain that you're ready to take his dick.

He will edge you.

Of course, he's still pretty lazy so. All his favorite positions are ones where he can hold you close, or where you do most of the work.

He loves it when you ride him.

He'll offer his support with his mouth- either kissing various parts of your body (your tits) or whispering some naughty shit in your ear.

His hands will either be at your hips helping you bounce up and down his dick, rubbing at your clit, or grabbing one of your tits.

He's a boob man.

He really likes praising you, especially for how good you are at taking all of him inside of you.

He really likes it when you moan his name (honestly, who doesnt tbh)

When Kuzan feels he's close, he'll change positions to missionary and pin you down to really dig you out

If he can help it, he's going to make sure you cum first or directly after him

When he gets close, he talks a lot less- mostly just grunts, hisses and escaped moans.

He says your name a lot.

For your guy's first encounter, he uses a condom and just finishes inside you.

After you guys have been together and have had conversation(s) about it, he goes raw

His favorite place to finish is on your torso. Of course, he loves when it gets on your boobs too.

[dingodad]

if blood/caste = troll gender, then what would that make karkat? off the top of my dome, it immediately reads to me that he would be considered intersex or trans, both even, and at a glance, narratively that feels cohesive. i dont have anything to counter this reading, just curious on your thoughts!!

generally speaking i find it kind of a waste of time to try to identify "exact equivalents" in any given fictional allegory. blood castes are very much like troll genders and i think that's the most pertinent interpretation to homestuck's core themes, but the benefit of inventing a fictional system rather than straight up saying the trolls are segregated on the basis of sex is that the analogy doesn't have to be perfect and it can be used to represent different things at different times - the hemospectrum being a gender spectrum isn't mutually exclusive with the fact that it is also an economic hierarchy, for instance. a lot of discussions about "coding" in fiction end up languishing in the shallows by ignoring this.

so in terms of what the hemospectrum "makes karkat" i don't really think of it in terms of the exact thing that he would be on earth, bc i think the story adequately communicates the broad strokes; that whatever he is, in society's eyes he believes the circumstances of his birth cause him to fall short of the expectations that come with the strict categories alternia expects all trolls to fit into. i have to assume a lot of readers picking up on this is what led to trans guy karkat being such a hugely popular headcanon (besides trans guy headcanons having simply been the most popular thing full stop for a long time), which i think makes complete sense. i also think there are clear lines to be drawn between blood colour and biological sex in the way that biology never cleanly lines up with the social expectations associated with it, and even if i'm not totally sure terminology like "intersex" applies in the same way in a culture with 10+ genders as it does in a culture with just 2, the fact that trolls have a linear "spectrum" of genders clearly lends itself to this kind of thinking.

(this kind of harkens back to a years-old homestuck discourse: a lot of readers took issue with the suggestion that, despite being called a spectrum, in spinoff stories the troll blood colours are always depicted as fitting into twelve discrete categories. but long before i even began to explore the direct intersections between gender, sex and blood colour, the logic behind this seemed clear to me: surely all trolls ARE different and DO have subtly different shades to their blood, but in order to maintain a caste system where each blood colour has its place in the social order, alternian society has to act like there are only 12 colours. this is, after all, exactly how astrological signs are assigned; you can be born on any of 365 days in a year, but for the sake of neatly dividing the population into easily-described groups, each of these days is split among 12 basically-arbitrary signs. this clear parallel homestuck draws between gender and star sign is also why i find it so hard to take class and aspect seriously.)

so even if i don't think either of your options are necessarily what karkat's character is "intended" to convey in the same way i believe caste-as-gender as an intended reading, the versatility of the caste analogy makes them both very organic interpretations. BUT TO ACTUALLY GET TO YOUR QUESTION LOL: like i said in a previous ask, karkat comes across to me as being closeted. in conjunction with his chronically unorthodox approach to troll romance and the role he plays as homestuck's introduction to LGBT themes long before "trolls are bisexual" establishes itself as a canon fact, karkat reads as "the troll version" of a gay guy hiding this fundamental "flaw" in his being because he feels it's standing between him and the all-american ultra-masculine role he sees for himself among the threshecutioners. so like i said above i don't think it necessarily has to be about his "gender" so much as it is about his relationship to expectations of gender, just as troll-caste genders exist across a whole spectrum of expectations rather than in a strict binary.

[minediamonds]

I just came across a blog that has...strange (to me) rules. Basically, this mun wants people to interact with their women muses but doesn't RP with blogs that are all women muses. Of course, I didn't follow. But it got me thinking because like....I love writing female and nonbinary muses. I do write some male characters, but I tend to have less muse for them. Minus Jaskier but let's be honest, he's an honorary one of the girls LOL. :P I don't mind anyone having whatever rules are necessary to make their RPC experience good. Of course. I just won't follow people whose rules either contradict with my own or that confuse me. And this definitely falls into the latter category. Like you understand it's hard out there for women muses but don't want to interact with blogs that are all women? Make it make sense. That said, my blog /technically/ doesn't break this rule as I have enby muses and (some) male muses as well. But like...I just think I'm better off not following as I'd probably have my women muses ignored and that's never a good feeling.

No hate to this mun, it's all good. I just...don't entirely understand the rule tbh. Like it's fine to have it, of course. But it does confuse me ngl. Also, I prefer to RP women and enby characters, and personally I think that's fine tbh. Of course, everyone is different. But wanting to have your women muses interacted with more, but not being equally willing to interact with other people's just...confuses me. Idk.

Again, no hate, no shade. I am just super confused about this. LOL. Hence why I didn't follow the person. If anyone has any ideas on why this would be a thing, please feel free to let me know. <3

[alectoperdita]

Hoho, spontaneous ask!

Seto and Katsuya (mob version) are so devoted, possessive, almost worshipful in Jou's case (🥰) but they both are clearly partially tied up in nostalgia/romaticism over their past together.

Which made me wonder, what behaviors/habits/etc are they ignoring or rosetinted-glasses-overlooking in the other that they would otherwise be put off by? Petty or significant ig hehe

I think the biggest one they're both Actively Ignoring is the fact Katsuya is a current and active criminal. Or if he's not directly breaking the law, he's knowingly facilitating it at Mega because there's drug dealing there. Seto may not know all the details. They both agreed the less Seto knows, the better. For Seto, it's likely a professional conflict of interest. For Katsuya, it's because he is kinda ashamed of who he is, compared to Seto. If it were anyone else, that kind of small-time criminal would be a dealbreaker for Seto.

This isn't to suggest that Seto only dates the most law-abiding and upstanding citizen. He doesn't. (I haven't fleshed out the details but I have the feeling Seto's exes aren't the nicest people, probably a bit insufferable lol). He's morally gray, or at least comfortably self-interested. But there's a world of difference between being with a possible white-collar criminal (because who in the corporate world isn't some shade of that once you go high enough on the ladder) and someone who deals drugs/loansharks.

Instead, they are both very much Ignoring all the complications that might arise from Katsuya's job/position (because it's not like Katsuya gets to just leave the yakuza either) and everything is Okay as long as Katsuya doesn't get caught or get in trouble otherwise.

As for Katsuya re: Seto, that's harder for me to put my finger on. The main one might be Seto's general inaccessibility in his day-to-day life. Katsuya's not dated-dated many people (having been in prison for so long recently hasn't helped) but his numerous flings before and after prison were often people that ran adjacent to the circles he's already in. At least the women. Katsuya's gay flings are shorter-lived and often one-night stands picked up in areas of the city where he's not likely to run into familiar faces (on account of being in the closet). Seto is the only man he's meaningfully dated in years, so that really skews Katsuya's sense of what he wants in a relationship with another man.

Otherwise, they share many of the same vices: smoking and heavy drinking. So hard to fault the other person for doing that if you're already doing it.

Oh! Seto's jealousy is only endearing to Katsuya because it's Seto. Otherwise, Katsuya might find it clingy or offputting from another person.

I hope that makes sense. 😂

[risingshards]

Blegh okay I thought about it and after rewatching some eps and reading this again, I kinda like my rambling thoughts on acolyte ep 6 so here goes

Preface: I'm a very very VERY easy to please sw fan and I don't like ragging on shows or movies or whatever this way much these days if I can avoid it with how internet fandom is, like especially with this show with all the hatred and vitriol it's gotten from the incels.

And I've been enjoying the show a ton so far, and ep 6 wasn't bad...just. blech. I have critiques.

TLDR: I was excited for a big thriller mystery in the High Republic era told with a queer lens, and instead I feel like I'm getting a Goodreads review of a scrubbed Reylo fic listing the tropes.

spoilers and me bitching after cut lol

I'm just like why is it reylo now????????

I figured with the mentor swap we'd be heading to Osha turning to the dark side and maybe Mae to the light, but the way it's being put out there feels lacking. Osha is turning so quickly that it felt like i was reading some enemies to lovers romantasy for my book club (at least it hasn't been as awful as the colonizer romance they had me read but that is a LOW bar to clear....). Like a lot of the romantasy books I've read, it feels like setup and taking time to build meaningful connections between characters is ignored for like "oh wow he took his shirt off...he's so jacked....what was i talking about again..." I saw a video with the audio descriptions for the ep and it literally sounded like a romantasy audiobook.

And to note: if you love the enemies to lovers romantasy booktok books, like more power to ya! For me it's like when you stare at one of those magic pictures and you can't get your eyes to cross to see the picture, like "I do NOT understand what I'm supposed to see here."

Str8 enemies to lovers just kind of blech me out, where the evil one commits various atrocities that make me want to see them get what's coming to them, and then minutes later the good one is like "whoa he's hot maybe he's not so bad..."

Osha being so Jedi-like in personality only to immediately falter at a hot naked dude just feels gross. Like can't we have any other reasons for women in Star Wars to get tempted to the dark side than a shirtless man gaslighting them? Probably unsurprisingly but I REALLY did not like Reylo (I was in a very bad relationship and I kinda put the headcanon onto TLJ about it being an escape from an abuser because it came out right after I got away from that, so that going any other way did not vibe right with me) so maybe it's just residual feelings from that.

Again more power to you if this is your thing I'm not coming at anyone for enjoying it!

I think another thing that's making me uncomfortable is seeing interviews with Hedlund about Qimir about his desire for freedom against those who want him gone being relatable in a queer sense, and like I get that, I feel that. But if that's the character with the metaphorical queer experience why are we doing mega straight reylo 2 with him? And that guy brutally kills one of the queer girls and calls her it immediately after??? It doesn't help that the show started off feeling really queer, and now like 80% of the queer characters are dead and we're doing reylo 2. The "oh fuck yeah REYLOOOO" interviews I've read this week are NOT reassuring in this regard.

There's just something my pea brain doesn't get when it comes to stories with more shades of gray in series that are typically pretty black and white with morality. When a character crosses that threshold so far into villainy, I want to see them face some blow back for it, not immediately start going all "uwu they're torn and hurt aren't they?" about it. In Star Wars generally speaking I want the antagonist to BE the antagonist, not get thrown into this space between protagonist and antagonist that just has me all crossed up. I know there are plenty of redemptions in Star Wars for the villains, but I like it better when it's more mythical about the hardships of trying to save a villain's soul like Luke and Vader than "the lightsaber represents kylo's dick" reylo stuff.

I get that like the morality is probably supposed to be muddled in this show, and we're not supposed to feel good about Osha and Qimir getting closer smash cutting to Jecki's fresh corpse, but again, the execution feels messy when you have the gleeful "OH YEAH WE'RE DOING ENEMIES TO LOVERS BABY REYLO SLAYYYYYYY" interviews. Again I'm a VERY easy to please sw fan, and I've been really enjoying seeing the High Republic era in live action, seeing cortosis and wild lightsaber duels, all the expanded universe pulls, it feels really fresh in that regard. And all the performances are stellar, and having such a diverse cast is incredible.

If we had more than thirty minutes and more than 8 episodes to build to all this it'd feel a lot better. The character development feels like it's on roller coaster speed, but with Knife to Throat and other tropey scenes also seen in a bajillion enemies to lovers romance books nowadays thrown our way to fill the gaps. These scripts feel like they needed an editor to really go over the scene to scene motivations and logic and character work and dialogue, instead of mashing booktok trope buttons, which is also how I feel about most romantasy books I read...

Counterpoint to myself is that Star Wars is built on tropes and archetypes so this is like taking some tropes and archetypes of the current day's fiction and playing with them.

But idk.

Like am I really supposed to care about any of what I'm seeing or is it just gonna be booktok and fanfic tropes thrown my way now to a bunch of characters with muddled personalities and motivations clashing? We don't necessarily need someone to root for, and I'm probably being unfair to a lot of this, but after how thrilling Ep 5 felt, 6 has me wondering what the bigger picture of this show is, because it went from feeling like a fascinating if a bit messy story to one that might just be "Look here's enemies to lovers, knife to throat, corruption, oh and here's one bed!" without as much under the surface of that character and plot wise as I would have hoped.

[beevean]

Having Thought again about Hector (and this time I'm talking about the real Hector) being called a child, or implicitly called naive - and how this is an important trait of his character.

Under cut because it's image heavy. Because I cannot and will not shut up :P

The laundry hanging scene is mostly there for fluff after the harrowing Hector vs. Isaac fight, but you can infer a lot from it.

Hector? Oh, you're in the shade again. It's not healthy. Come on! I need your help with something. The clothesline has broken, and I need a man's help. Ahh, you're pulling too hard, Hector! The branch will break!

Rosaly asks for a "man's help", but discovers that Hector can't do so much as hang laundry. He pulls too hard: Hector is a former fighter, so his first instinct is to use a lot of his strength (and he may even be superhumanly strong due to his powers). He probably never had to calibrate it in his life.

Rosaly: You’ve never done laundry before, have you? Well, this should be fine, thank you. Hector: Let me help you… Rosaly: No! Stop! That’s my…!

Then he takes Rosaly's clothes without permission: he really wants to help after that first embarrassment, but he doesn't seem to think that maybe it's a bit rude to rummage through a woman's underwear :P

It's all played for laughs, but it's also sad. Hector didn't have the chance to live a normal life. No one taught him how to live in human society, and then he wasted half of his life under Dracula's service. It's all new to him.

Haha, you’re so funny, Hector. With such pretty silver hair and such a pretty face…

But Rosaly doesn't judge him, doesn't think he's weird: she's honestly endeared by his clumsiness. (get yourself a so that doesn't make you feel bad for being different in common things 🥺) As I said in an older post:

He's not naive in the "easily trusting" sense: he hasn't lived in the human world enough to learn about it, except for hatred and rejection, and even simple things like hanging laundry don't come easy to him. But he wants to learn and he wants to help, much like a child would. And well. Rosaly knows how to take care of children without a home :) Where Hector sees nothing but a curse and sin, Rosaly sees innocence. She's idealistic, perhaps to a fault, but perhaps believing in the inherent goodness of others can pay off.

Rosaly: You’re just like a child… Hector: Where are my armor and sword? Rosaly: No. You've been bedridden for a week and only woke up yesterday. Hector: But I can't stay here.

Yet, interesting that this is when Hector asks for his sword and armor. He explains that he's afraid of attracting monsters again like the werewolf, but I also read shame in his expression. Rosaly means well, but I can imagine Hector doesn't like being compared to a child (especially if he associated childhood with being weak and hated). Maybe part of him even resents that she is right, and his instinct is to wanting to go back, to hide, to fight.

(or maybe he's just hella embarrassed that he was called "pretty" out of nowhere lol rosaly has excellent tastes)

It's also worth mentioning that, while Rosaly is never explicitly called a "womanchild" or naive, she seems to be considered as such by the others. She is called "too nice", because she overworks herself for little, and most importantly because she is allowing a complete stranger inside her home without knowing anything about him, ignoring the danger.

(in fact, Ted here calls Rosaly お人好し, which means "good-natured person" but with connotations of being a fool. This is after she brushed off Ted's concerns about Hector because "he has pretty eyes and birds seem to like him" :P)

Even Hector is unnerved by her attitude.

Rosaly: You were worried about us. Thank you, you are such a kind person. Hector: You take everything as a good thing... No, I'm sorry. Why don't you ask me? Haven't you heard anything from that kid? What did I do, what did I escape from? How did I kill that werewolf? …Who am I and where did I come from?

Rosaly's lack of curiosity and tendency to always assume the best of Hector is terrifying for him. He's waiting for the other shoe to drop, so that she'll know him and then hate him like everyone else. Who does this? Who just allows anyone to help with chores, and then finds cute when they can't do it? Who just welcomes someone in their home without caring about where they came from? It's weird. Rosaly is weird. Just as weird as Hector, a grown man who can't stay with other people and hasn't learned basic matters.

Being in touch with the blessings of the earth, feeling the seasons in the cold water... Seeing everyone’s smiles, having a meal with someone, going to bed grateful that the day has ended safely... All of these are wonderful things that are hard to come by. I have received everything I want from everyone.

Of course, the difference is that Rosaly is not naive due to lack of experience. She chooses to be stubbornly optimistic. She will love everyone to death. You have no choice.

And her relentless optimism is what allows her to see past Hector's barriers and mistery. He's just a good person to her, nothing more and nothing less.

Your name is Hector, you have beautiful silver hair, you were injured, you never did laundry, and you helped me and Ted. That's enough for me.

Another thing is that, Rosaly doesn't need Hector for household chores. She seems to be living alone just fine, and in fact she is the one who always helps others. So this is not really for her benefit: it's for Hector's. It's to give him something to do instead of drowning in his own thoughts. It's to make him feel less alone. There is symbolism in how Hector is still standing in the shadow, not hiding but still not ready to face the human world, and Rosaly says it's not healthy and drags him out to enjoy the sunlight, which he eventually accepts.

Hector is a proud, competent, intelligent man and warrior, but he's also a stunted child who has cowered from the world for years. Rosaly, without knowing anything about him and his upbringing, but sensing that something is different about him, is happy to show him the world and let him grow. Not because Hector is needed, but because he is wanted and welcomed.

My adoptive parents died a long time ago, so now I'm the only one here. So yeah, I would really love it if you stayed here.

Rosaly is used to live alone... but what if two lonely people lived together and helped each other?

In case it wasn't clear, the parallels between the beloveds fill me with warmth and joy :)

PtR gives us a similar concept, but with different characterizations:

"The unspent ferry fare for the Nether Rivers... to make up for it…"

"Worn-out and shiny? Thank you for the thought, but they'll think I stole it... I wonder if you don't know the world..."

Interestingly, here Hector's naiveté is painted in a more traditional manner. Sure, there's the heartbreaking part of him paying Rosaly for her basic kindness, because he is that foreign to the idea that he can be cared for without giving anything in return; and there's the symbolic part where he refers to the belt as pretty much the Charon's obol he had failed to pay, because he had planned to die but Rosaly saved his life so she is the one who gets to be paid. But Rosaly can't accept the gift for sensible reasons: it's too ostentatious, and she can't go around with it without drawing unwanted attention. Remember that this is also a time of witch hunts, and people are growing angrier and more suspicious, secretly due to the Curse.

Hector wouldn't know it. He lived isolated in the castle for years, so isolated that he couldn't hear the scream inside the stone walls. So for him it's a very straightforward reasoning: this woman is showing kindness to me, so I'll pay her with the most precious thing I own. (and even then I have my own ideas about that belt and why he has it)

Btw, this naiveté is not completely gone by CoD. He's surprisingly earnest with Julia when he meets her, revealing his background to a stranger. Thankfully nothing bad comes from it, but she seems to be much more guarded than him. I like to see this as a sign that he mellowed out after Rosaly :) or maybe he's just a gentleman lol.

Anyway I love Hector so much and I find it a more complex, vulnerable and relatable character than most assume 💖

[navree]

tbh, i have the sneaking suspicion that emma d'arcy dislikes daemyra just as much as sara hess might. like, this isn't shade, but you can clearly see the difference in chemistry that milly and matt had compared to emma and matt. it doesn't help that s2 is at the part of the dance where their characters are separated for quite a while. the last engaging scene they had together was when they were arguing in 2.02 after blood and cheese. so, yeah it doesn't feel like much of the 🔥🔥🔥 is there for daemyra in the show after the actor change for rhaenyra.

Emma didn't describe the show as "too many men" for no reason, lol.

In all seriousness, I'm sure Emma and Matt are as friendly in real life as they appear to be in promotional material, there's been nothing to suggest otherwise, but the chemistry absolutely does not hit with them as a married couple. Part of it is that, yeah, they don't really spend a lot of time together (they barely had one on one scenes dedicated to their relationship in season 1, let alone in season 2 when they were on opposite sides of the country the whole time), whereas Milly and Matt's Daemyra had a lot of one on one scenes. I think another thing is that Milly and Emma are portraying Rhaenyra at vastly different stages of her life. Milly is playing a young Rhaenyra who sees Daemon as a challenge, a kind of dragon to conquer, she actively pursues time with him, she wants him very badly and that factors a lot into how she behaves around him and what she does when in his vicinity. Rhaenyra by the time of the change to Emma is a lot more settled. She is not actively pursuing Daemon at all, she's got a family and a lover of her own when we first see her, and after the second time jump her energy is devoted mostly to her own internal issues around the succession and, as always, her tumultuous relationship with Alicent (rhaenicent supremacy). This version of Rhaenyra is a lot less driven by Daemon when around Daemon, she's just doing her own thing and Daemon happens to be there. Some of it might also be some problems caused by the out of sync filming schedule, I think episode 7 is the first episode the show ever filmed (considering the first official pics we got were clearly done during ep 7), so the episode about Daemyra's reunion and their passion reaching its zenith and culminating in consummation is the first time these actors have actually played these characters, the first time Emma's even worked on a production on this scale given that their career up until that point. So that kind of early awkwardness and unsurety really permeates the whole relationship in that episode, which is why that sex scene is the most passionless thing HBO ever put to film.

Daemyra also really isn't a focus for the show in general and specifically Emma's portrayal of Rhaenyra. In meta material like behind the scenes talks or interviews, Emma really focuses a lot on two things: Rhaenyra's interiority and her relationship with Alicent. Focusing on the relationship with Alicent makes sense, the show focuses on the Rhaenicent relationship too and it's been obvious since the beginning that it's the driving force, the beating heart, of the entire enterprise (which is why I don't get people who are still upset about that when we're more than halfway through, you weren't bamboozled, they've been honest with you about what they're doing from the getgo, if you ignored that it's on you). So it makes sense that Emma's performance focuses on that as well, just as Olivia's performance also focuses on how Alicent relates to Rhaenyra in turn. But Emma also focuses their performance on a lot of things like Rhaenyra's views on other, more peripheral people (they had this wonderful quote after ep 10 about Rhaenyra sublimating Otto into a fatherly acceptance role and a bunch of stuff around the bridge scene and Rhaenyra's wants and it was so good, I wish I still had it), and also internal things, like Rhaenyra's desires, her now canonical queerness, and gender, which the show doesn't focus on a lot but it should because their insights are always so fascinating. So between the actor not really focusing on Daemyra as a driving force while they're acting, and the show not really doing much with Daemyra after they get married because why would it and thus making it periphery, the lack of sparks makes absolute sense, and is why I periodically forget that these two actually are married and Daemon isn't just some random pedophile squatting in Rhaenyra's house.

Closest to interesting Daemyra even got was the whole "Daemon has very complex feelings about Viserys and his pursuit of Rhaenyra is partly through the lens of viewing her as a Viserys proxy" thing, but that's it.

[trlvsn]

I hope you won’t mind elaborating, please ignore this message if it makes you uncomfortable, but I am terribly intrigued by the correlation between shipping narumitsu and having attachement issues, and I would love to hear your thoughts - either on the pattern you’ve noticed, or on why you think one would lead to the other? Sincerely, a sceptical of the idea that our fictional preferences reflect who we are (who also just happens to ship narumitsu lol) (this is all /lh and /genuinely interested btw my signature is meant to be tongue in cheek not passive-aggressive)

this doesn't make me uncomfortable at all! in fact, i'm happy to elaborate. i would, however, like to start this by saying i meant the case majority of nrmt shippers, not every single one, so if this doesn't apply to you - honestly, great news for your future and present relationships with people.

anyways. when i started reading narumitsu fanfiction, i noticed a pattern. people tend to make the characters pass the "i will find you and help you" role like a hot potato between the characters depending on the time of the events in the fanfic - if it's feenie or aa1 era, phoenix is the one who writes endless letters and seeks miles out, if it's aa3-aa4, edgeworth is the one who flies across the ocean to see wright or helps him financially and emotionally during the disbarment. each time, that borderline obsessive behavior gets romanticized and turns into the basic formula of "i'm in pain, closed off and not who i really am - let me help you despite your constant refusals - okay i'm better now. i love you also". i don't mean to say it's inherently bad to write stuff like that or that it makes the relationship toxic, i'm simply hyperbolizing and making an overall point.

another thing about those fics is that the hurt/comfort is usually centered on the one who needs the comfort. if phoenix helps miles get over the turnabout goodbyes trial, holds him after an earthquake or saves him "again", it's usually a miles-centered fic, and the disbarment ones are a phoenix study. it can be the other way around, of course, but the ones described earlier made me have a realization.

as i've stated in my nrmt analysis post, what they would have had before turnabout succession is just... not that healthy in my eyes? not long term healthy, at least. so i feel like nrmt fans tend to have a warped sense of what love and relationships are, constantly defining phoenix and miles by what they do for each other and what they mean to each other, not by their individual growth. phoenix often gets too much credit for saving miles, miles gets assigned the role of the one who was always there during the 7yg and helped take down kristoph, etc. again, not bad!! just interesting.

and with all of that being portrayed as this big romantic thing, i just feel like the narumitsu fans can be divided into different groups. if you like phoenix-centered bratfeen and aa1-3 wrightworth, you are likely to disregard your emotional needs for the sake of another person, idealize then, and to have experienced parental neglect or betrayal and abandonment of some kind, which can lead to an anxious attachment style. the people who like aa1-3 wrightworth with explorations of miles and disbarment fics about phoenix might have an idea in their head that no one understands them and never will, have a tendency to isolate themselves and have an avoidant attachment style. it might get mixed up too. of course, this is no way scientifically credible or well-spoken, it's like two am for me, what am i doing. but anyway, with the way nrmt shippers practically tie these two together by their identities... yeah.

again. absolutely no shade or hate or anything similar. i'm a huge narumitsu enjoyer. i have 333 bookmarks on ao3 and god knows some of them are exactly what I described above. but a girl has to speak her mind.

[bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love]

Bnha didn't do it for me on the whole "Hero-Villain" tropes anymore. It doesn't feel like its groundbreaking ideas are getting written well like how there's no such thing as a defined Hero or Villain, there is just the nature of things. Everything is so Black and White

I think James Gunn's work, Peacemaker actually has amazing ideas on the whole Hero-Villain tropes, everyone had an absolute blast with it, great character developments and also amazing comedy too

The best thing about the entire series is that how they treat comic superheroes in it is exactly how one would expect Superheroes would be treated in a Modern world, like how Aquaman is getting dissed on Twitter lol, Aquaman even said when he made it as the ending's cameo that people gotta stop with the dumb rumours, yes he doesn't fuck fish AND ofc John Cena too, dang he's one hell of character

Also I guess at some point, the entire "Teenage Heroes" trope got stale since it all feels unrealistic and how no one is talking about the gravity of bringing kids into Heroism so early. They missed out on a lot of chances with "Real Horror" with the Modern Heroes World in Bnha, cuz there are bad things in good things and vice versa

It's sad how no one is talking about the societal treatment towards others and how there are always the Villains cuz mostly everyone didn't have the awareness of how badly they treat others who are considered "freaks of society".

The lack of education on certain social aspects is appalling, they ignore the social issues with Quirks in general and didn't educate children on how to treat others kindly regardless of Quirks, you can see that with Bakugo, since it was his huge characteristic everyone knows for. Honestly this part feels extremely realistic cuz it's an actual real life thing but I don't think it was improved and just left it as is. We see the consequences and never solutions to fix

Yeah to me it feels like hero don't face any consequences and the whole 'saving villains things ' was quickly discarded. I'm not saying all should be forgiven but it was made clear they became what they are because of tragedy, especially Shigaraki. I believe nothing is black and white. It's shades of gray, (I think Tokyo ghoul did this really well).

And yeah the whole kids being heroes and put through the things they've dealt with, like the Pro heroes seemed to step aside and let it happen which is weird. Let's be honest the young students were leading the way against AFO and Shigaraki. I know this was there story (Izuku Bakugou Shouto Shigaraki) these were the main characters but that doesn't mean we gotta like how they get there.

I also think the story got darker then people expected.

I've always felt the a hero or villain is perspective. A person can be a great hero then go home and abuse their family. A person whose a villain may be doing bad deeds to help their family or those they love because the system fucked them over. So to those they are the hero and the hero is the bad guy.

Society changes people and shows the world what it thinks is correct. Shigarakis life was horrible he deserves someone to save him but he's committed crimes that can't be swept under the rug yet he only did them cause he was groomed and lied to and abused but all the Society sees is he is bad. Heroes aren't suppose to kill but there ate heroes who enjoy the brutality of beating or killing villains. But their heroes so it's OK.

You made some great points and I really enjoyed reading this.

IM SORRY I RAMBLED. SO MANY THOUGHTS. I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE. I COULD GO ON AND ON. THIS IS NOT SPELL CHECKED.

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 15: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should purchase some new shoes for himself while he's in the city...

~

It costs quite a bit of coin, but in the end he decides that having a new sturdy pair of boots will serve him well on his travels. After he's done in the shop, he rushes back to the local inn before nightfall, eventually settling into a somewhat restless sleep..

The next morning, he orders some cheap vegetable stew from a food stall, then lounges in a park as he has his breakfast, watching the squirrels weave through flowering trees and birds pecking about in the dewy grass.. When finished with his meal (and sufficiently recovered from the emotional turmoil of burning his tongue on the soup), he quickly sells his old pair of shoes to a sketchy pawn shop before finally getting back to his journey...

By his calculations, if he he walks all day, it should only be two more sleeps before he gets to his destination, so he sets out to travel as efficiently as possible. He doesn't have the money to rent a cart, or the skill to ride a borrowed horse, but, he does have some fancy new walking shoes and a renewed sense of purpose. No more meandering through fields looking for flowers, napping in the shade, or scanning the ground for cool rocks.. He's going to focus this time!

......After a few hours, he comes across a broken down carriage in the middle of the road, with few people surrounding it, seemingly stuck trying to repair a wheel or something. It's hard to discern from afar..

Maybe if he helps them, he could get a free ride.. or some coins.. or make a new lifelong friend! Who knows? Possibilities flood his mind, this is what adventuring is all about! Wandering into interesting situations and making the most out of them!! .. But, then he recalls his previous oath.. he's supposed to focus today and not allow himself to sidetracked.. And who says he has the skills to help anyway? It could always just be a waste of time... Hmm...

What should he do?

~

~

Additional Information

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

[siswritesyanderes]

Hey! Im rereading rule one and i felt awkward saying this in a comment but i just wanted to mention how much i really like your characterisation of the cullens and how youve chosen to write them. In general your writing is very well done and intriguing but the way youve chosen to go about some things is very fun. Its been about a year, maybe a year and a half since i last read rule one especially the earlier chapters and im at the point where nessie steals sadie's dog and im just like... Woah. Holy shit. Youve really nailed down the horror of nessie? Like u know its good if its making me go oh holy shit bc im pretty immune to a lot of horror centric things like this. Idk i guess i forgot just how horrifying you made nessies pov of things so it really punched me in the face in a good way. I really admire how youve gone about this fic in general tbh bc you have this sense of creeping horror that actually hits bc its not ignoring the bad elements of canon and the canons bad implications and ur actually confronting them head on in a realistic way while also not going overboard and bashing on canon? Idk its a really precarious balancing act youve got going on but its real inspiring to see how well u do it. What was your thought process for nessies characterisation like? Like how did u arrive at the point we see in the fic. Sorry if this is all over the place its 6 am and im just in awe and really enjoying re reading rule one and i thought itd be cool to let u know how much im enjoying ur writing choices! Ty for sharing your writing with us

Thank you so, so much! For the compliments and for the opportunity to ramble about this, lol.

I guess I just felt fascinated by the potential consequences of Renesmee growing physically at such an accelerated rate. In Breaking Dawn (and the Twilight Illustrated Guide), it's indicated that she has a complete understanding of what is said and done around her, but she still acts like a child. She's still a child. And I find it interesting to imagine what a person would be like if they feel like- and indeed, are -a child but have capabilities that exceed their age and size and don't have worldly experience to match their mental awareness.

I've read fics like "Wedding Crashers" where Renesmee is written as Veruca Salt-level spoiled, and she is positioned to have shades of that, being raised in a family that has bottomless money and seeing evidence in her first year of life that she is so important to everyone she knows that they will put their lives on the line for her. If she fully understood everything that was happening around her during Breaking Dawn, what must all of it have looked like through her eyes?

The book mentions that she only ever sleeps in someone's arms, never in a crib, because she lives in a house of sleepless vampires. Has she ever been denied anything? If so, what? And how did it feel? Pretty much everyone adores Renesmee, or is fascinated by her. One of the first people she laid eyes on imprinted on her on sight. She was brought to the most feared vampire in the world and touched his face, and then the bad guys went away and everyone was happy. She remembers all of it. She understood what was happening. How would that affect a kid?!

And, like the fic kind of explores, a lot of the things she's learned about her family and their lives before she was born would send some pretty concerning lessons about morality that I think someone would have to confront down the line- whether it be her family, or someone Renesmee meets who objects to being treated the way she's learned to treat people, or just Renesmee herself if she happens to learn better without being given reason to.

I just really enjoy exploring the duality of Renesmee as someone who was practically designed in a lab to be hugely entitled and selfish but also just a child who wants everyone to have a good time. She doesn't quite believe her actions have consequences, because everyone in her life is ready to fix anything she does and no one will hold anything against her because she's three and she doesn't know any better, and she's consciously aware of all of it, but also she is three and she doesn't know any better. Imagine an actual three year old, with all the tendency toward misbehavior that entails, but make them 1. capable of going anywhere they want, 2. superpowered, and 3. very aware that they won't get into any real trouble for whatever they do. Her heart's in the right place, but she's a kid, and a kid whose few life experiences to draw on, to guide her judgement, are all bizarre.

To answer your question about balancing a realistic tone without bashing canon, I guess my approach has been to kind of just go "Yes, and" to most things that are established in the books. (The exceptions, as mentioned in some of the chapter notes, being the child grooming and the idea that venom removes melanin; those two things I just got rid of.) I try not to go, "That's stupid, and here's why." For any given thing that the books hold to be true, I try to have a response of, "Okay, but let's look at the consequences." I won't take away anyone's happy ending, no matter how dubiously-obtained I find it, but their actions to get there still matter. I'm glad to hear you found it effective!

I always love getting comments about Renesmee's characterization! I love it, because the fic isn't even about her, so I love to know that a relatively small aspect of it stood out to you.

Also, thank you for specifying that you're rereading the earlier chapters, because I'm super self-conscious about those. 🤣

[saremina]

(sending anon bc im scared of social interaction) he isnt an exact copy of cazador, but it’s fairly obvious to me (as an ascended astarion enjoyer) that he is controlling & toxic. if you try to leave him after the netherbrain it’s glaring lol. he isn’t abusive in the same ways cazador is, and an evil aligned tav likely doesn’t get the same treatment a good one does. but the entire game has a theme of abuse cycles, not just astarion. so long as you follow his rules, he won’t abuse you. i play as a reluctant tav, so idk if it’s different for different rps.

oh I'm not saying he's not toxic and the relationship can't be abusive (though power to the people who hc the relationship as happy and healthy, they're the real mvps), and personally I love that you can't leave him post netherbrain because it makes sense if you've paid attention to his character through the game (and I won't get into that topic now or this will be a 10k essay).

and I'm not ignoring any themes or anything. I'm just saying that Astarion doesn't come across as Cazador 2.0 like the fandom especially and the game to an extent wants to insist by letting you compare the two. being abusive doesn't make him Cazador because Cazador is a very specific kind of fucked up that Astarion just isn't, and saying controlling = sadistic torture enthusiast is... not something I think we should probably be doing so readily? because yes, Astarion is controlling, and can be so to an extreme for sure (I really have so many thoughts on why he's that way and I don't actually think it's a power thing for him, at least not primarily but that's still not the topic here lol), but is he like Cazador? not really, no.

I mean if you (not you specifically but like a general you, you know) don't want to look at nuance and only focus on 100% healthy and wholesome vs 100% toxic and abusive then yes, he is like Cazador. and he's like Mystra, and like Vlaakith, and Mizora, and Bhaal and Shar, because there's no room for differing motives and reasons or different kinds of toxicity/abuse. everything is just either wholly good or wholly bad with no layers or shades or anything to be seen.

and this is my problem with the 'he's controlling/abusive so he's Cazador 2.0' reading. my point is not that he's not abusive. my point isn't about the themes of the game (yes I know it's a popular point to pull out but I'm not talking about themes here, I'm talking character). my point is that the text doesn't support likening ascended Astarion specifically to Cazador like he's just magically turned into a mini-Cazador post ascension because he's now evil or something, because the similarities between them (willingness to kill thousands for power and the power hunger) were things that Astarion had before ascending, and his control issues are also pretty clearly rooted in things he was (not) dealing with before ascending, and while Cazador controlled his spawn, his whole thing was having power over people (according to Astarion) and torturing the spawn, which just doesn't sound like the Astarion we have in game to me.

[bunny-hoodlum]

Rated E - Idle Hands Chapter One - official rewrite

Sharing this as a sample of the second and final rewrite I'm working on. Adding some new details and scenes, fixing phrasing and shiz, fleshing things out big time, and taking out stuff that doesn't actually make sense. After this, t'will be nothing but solely updates. (And yes, this is my 'icky fic' lol) 👉👈😶

He laid on his side in the seclusion of his bed, erection in hand as he faced the wall, filling his eyes with glossy pages of softcore beauties from the gravure magazine he lifted from the convenience store near the train station.

Curvy beauties. Slender, tight-framed beauties. White skin. Glistening in oil. Just the barest hint of pink areola peeking from the edges of from their bikini, straddling a balance ball in a sheer bikini. Posing with a popsicle with her pink tongue pressed against the tip. A bookworm dressed in a virgin-killer sweater, her legs, exposed back and abundant side-boob daring him to pin her down. Large, soulful eyes, Fake innocent expressions. Sweetheart personas. The dreams of every hot-blooded carnivore.

Women like them didn’t exist out here. Not in this lame-ass commuter town of theirs.

God, he couldn’t wait to get out of here, get a taste of real women.

He was wasting his fucking youth here. His mind too, not that anyone believed he had much of one to begin with.

He imagined their squishy, supple softness, the snug wetness clamping down around his dick, the mewling moans or haughty taunts depending on the flavor he was in the mood for.

Innocent types might be his weakness, but he could go for an equally sweet and bitchy one too.

His back shuddered as imminent orgasm pooled in his groin, his hand picking up the pace, precum dribbling from the top, coating his hand with every fervent pass. His chest clenched around his quickening breaths, his imagination leading him by the hand, leading straight towards the edge.

Knock, knock, knock!

Cold blue eyes snapped open, annoyance burning like an icy fire. With a resigned growl, he wiped his palm across his bedding and sat up.

“Naruto. You can’t ignore me.”

The interior of bedroom was steeped in a sleepy overcast shade of blue, the early morning sun barely reaching the narrow clerestory windows.

Dirty old clothes served as his carpet until his drawers became empty, and every available surface was hidden beneath stacks of empty ramen cups, crumpled receipts and loose change, electronics and gaming consoles, stacks of games, movies, and ill-gotten pornos that a sixteen-year-old shouldn't have easy access to, among more curious and questionable things like balled up socks and loose dried leaves in between the cracks of his dresser like detritus in the gutters.

Beside his bed, his nightstand held a digital clock, a lamp, a paper towel roll with a dryer sheet tied over one side, and an incense burner with the stick burned down to its root, the ashes a reminder of last night's high.

The very reason he woke up so horny.

Naruto flicked on the floor fan and grabbed his preferred room spray, giving his hideout a liberal spritzing of cheap citrus. He then tugged his underwear and black gakuran pants, zipping them up as he ambled over to the front door.

The moment he unlocked it, it was wrenched open, revealing not just his one-eyed visitor but the natural world outside: winding dirt road bored by rough gravel, overgrown grass glinting with dew and hiding armies of droning insects, with a backdrop of densely packed deep green trees like a moss carpet stretched over frozen waves, the mountainside reached up to catch the lazy tendrils of springtime clouds.

Nothing particularly interesting to break up the monotony, not unless you were a fan of powerlines.

The crisp outdoors nipped his nostrils and the song of morning birds pierced his ears.

Disgusting.

He snatched the doorknob and wrenched the door back, glaring at Kakashi through the crack in the doorway.

“Yo. What up?”

Kakashi sighed. “Don’t ‘what up’ me. Grab your bag and let’s get going.”

Naruto stuck a pinky in his ear and twisted it like he hadn’t heard a thing Kakashi said. The door was wrenched wide open once more, Kakashi nearly bodying him aside as he entered, causing Naruto to scramble away.

“Alright, alright! Fuck, man.”

He didn’t try to stop him as he retreated to his rumpled bed, hunched over his knees as Kakashi surveyed the room from the threshold. It was almost imperceptible beneath his mask and eye, but he was sure Kakashi was grimacing.

“Where were you yesterday?”

Palms dampening with sweat, his right brow nearly betrayed him to stray high above his eye, his inner face confrontational as hell. He kept his expression stony calm. It’s what he learned those two plus years he was gone. Someone like him, who always gave away everything too easily, he managed to learn self-restraint and caution, but he’d be lying if he said he mastered it. He didn’t care that much. He wasn’t himself if he was careful all the goddamn time.

Which brings him to now, the very consequences of yesterday’s actions. Skipping out of town whilst on probation. That was very, very bad of him.

“Where? I was with Sasuke,” Lies. “Where were you?”

“Don’t turn this around on me–” Kakashi cut off mid-sentence, his one-eyed gaze zeroing on Naruto who in a moment of pure distraction, was flipping through the so-far immaculate pages of his porno mag. Kakashi crossed the dirty nest with some difficulty, and grabbed the porno from his hand. “You had an appointment. Remember? So many strings have been pulled for you and–”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up! I know already, alright?! It’s been two fucking months!”

“Then get your bag. Where is it?”

Overdramatics defined his rigid, angry movements as he pushed up from his bed, shouldering Kakashi as he moved passed him. Dropping to his knees, he dove around, blindly searching, knowing exactly where his school bag was. 

And it wasn’t here.

“Well?”

“I’m looking!” Building frustration led him to toss aside whatever wound up in his hand at that moment, and whatever it was collided harshly and heavily, following by a shattering crash. The loudness and sense of destruction simultaneously lifted his irritation and exacerbated it, vindicating his ‘unhealthy form of self-expression’ as his shitty counselor so generously put it.

Can’t be bad if it makes him feel better, though, can it?

Naruto grabbed something else, but Kakashi was at his side in a heartbeat, anticipating his willful tantrum, his full lean into chaos, and intervened with a firm grip on his wrist. Naruto dropped what happened to be his misplaced utility tool set. That would’ve easily caused a greater crash. Dismay set in further at having been denied Naruto tore his arm away and proceeded to feign searching for his bag. “Can’t even destroy my own stuff.”

Kakashi exhaled heatedly at length. “You shouldn’t be destroying anything in the first place.”

There’s a lot of things he shouldn’t be doing. Yet he still does.

He was sure Kakashi could smell the weed buried underneath all the other caked-in scents of this place, but Naruto didn’t really care, because he stopped being scared of the man.

For all of his efficiency and hard-ass principles, the man had long bared his soft spot. He’d grown exploitable.

“Whatever. You won’t tell on me.” Another magazine had found its way into his hands as he raised it above his head, only to have it snatched away.

Naruto eyed Kakashi from the corner of his eye as the man retreated with the dirty mag, witnessing how even his chronically bored expression couldn’t mask the hint of perverse intrigue lifting his features.

Naruto’s nose wrinkled in derision. Wasn’t he an adult? Didn’t he have his own material back home?

Taking advantage of the moment, Naruto broke the silence. “My bag.”

Kakashi lowered the material, appearing startled as he narrowed his gaze, his scrutiny lackluster from being forced into the present. “Can’t find it?” His gaze seemed to fight with him, gravitating back to the magazine before he unceremoniously tossed it aside.

“Nooo. I can’t. Guess I’ll have ta go without it.”

“Where is it?”

Naruto threw his head back with a heated sigh. The vision of where he secured his school bag faded and morphed into a fake location. “It’s…” Stolen? No. He’d make sure nothing of his was ever stolen. “Over the Koyohashi.”

“What? Are you lying to me? How are you just remembering that now?”

“No, man! I had a really shit day yesterday, okay?! An’ I’m still waking up. Some punks from D High started to harass me and–” What else? “I threw it over. I had to fight them off and it got in the way.”

Kakashi sighed once more, this time even more feeling. He backed out of the doorway, descending down the two thin steps that lead up to the prefab mobile home that was Naruto’s exile.

Naruto rose to his feet, anxiety tipping inside his stomach like dark water as he stepped outside, closing the front door before following his so-called probation officer to his waiting car.

Their shoes crunched in tandem across the gravel path, and Naruto tossed a glance at the sizeable house next door, about twenty or so feet away, a heavy void growing inside his chest at the sight of it, pulsing with vague aches and bitterness.

He gets it.

Living at home was a fucking privilege and he lost it.

Yet no matter the darkness and vitriol churning in his veins like pipes of toxic, ignitable gasoline, no matter how much he dug around in his heart for some kind of proof that his innocence remained, he always came up empty.

Remorse. Deference. A desire to repair what was broken.

All of that has been long beaten out of him.

The windows in the house were still dark. And his father, still asleep.

The only indication Naruto had to work off was that the old man kept his sedan in the garage.

Far away from him.

━━━━━━━━━

Naruto made it to class just before third period, with no teacher in sight to give him shit. Sasuke sat in the seat next to his, half-turned towards him and smirking knowingly.

Naruto tapped his knuckles to Sasuke’s extended fist-bump, nodding, with Sasuke nodding back.

Naruto slouched into his seat, one hand tucked in his pants pocket as he gazed unseeingly at the chalkboard. Three of their male classmates were surrounding their preferred slave by the teacher’s podium, her small frame limp with resignation as their leader gripped the back of her boy-cut head and used her as a chalkboard eraser, cackling their braindead asses off.

“Wanna go to Costco later?” Naruto asked with a dull voice.

Sasuke sucked air through his teeth. “Going to cut it close after Kyudo.” As if on cue, Sasuke produced a small carton resembling a juice box, which was in fact sake.

Just then, their teacher entered, her shrill voice cracking over the outrage possessing her body.

“Enough! Sit down!”

Her bullies released her and retreated to their seats, hands in their pockets. Hinata, with her white-dusted head ducked low, followed behind them to her seat.

The teacher treated it like she was participating in their stupidity.

Sasuke passed the sake box underhand, keeping it out of the teacher’s line of sight.

Naruto scoffed as he removed the straw packaging and slipped the box beneath his left sleeve, under his wrist. “Curfew’s just a suggestion, man. I made it out of town just fine yesterday.” Naruto poked the top with his straw and took a disguised sip, relishing in the heat warming down his throat. Nothing smoothed him out better than this, but no, this isn’t the ‘right’ way to treat his issues. Whatever. “By the way, you’re my alibi.”

“Again.”

“Yeah, I’ll go over the deets with you later.”

“Sure, sure. Then I’ll come up with something better after hearing you out.”

“Fuck off.” Naruto laughed, earning a glare from their teachers. “Why do you even bother? With Kyudo, I mean. It’s not like your parents come an’ see you.”

Sasuke shrugged and sipped his own hidden juice box.

“Could happen.”

“‘Could happen’.” Naruto mocked beneath his breath. Still, part of him didn’t want to knock his optimism too hard.

At least one of their parents had to give a shit.

━━━━━━━━━

Dude, I don’t know what to do. I’m runnin’ outta fap material.” Naruto took a puff from the cigarette they were sharing and passed it back to Sasuke. Not that it was too hard to get their hands on smokes when all the vending machines in town were from the 1980s, but still, they were teenagers. Their inclination towards austerity and their love of excess wasn’t exactly consistent. And anyone who expected consistency from them could fuck right off.

“What are you looking for this time?”

Pass.

“Somethin’ not A4 and glossy, y’know?”

Pass.

“Hn. When was the last time you peeped?”

Pass.

“Dude, that was so long ago!! There’s no one to fuckin’ peep on ‘round here! These girls are so lame, y’know? Don’t know how to dress, do fuckin’ make-up–”

“Where you expect them to shop?” Sasuke snorted. “We’re in the boonies.”

“You’re making my point! Their personalities are nonexistent and they get even worse when they’re drunk. They can’t imagine anything beyond the fuckin’ mountains, and they just gossip, gossip, gossip. They’re so fuckin’ boring, I wanna kill myself.”

Pass.

Sasuke sucked a pensive drag, his stare prodding him with unasked questions.

They sat at the top of the darkened stairwell, crowded by stacks of unused or broken desks and chairs, obscured in the haze of their chainsmoking. Two lone butts laid at Naruto’s feet a step down, and a third was soon to join them.

The roof was just on the other side of this door, but it was locked, barred from entry to all students. That might’ve been their fault. They never did clean up after themselves. And when a huge gust of wind cut across campus, on the day of the Sports Festial no less, a wall of trash could be seen pressing desperately against the net-wire fence.

The faculty had been thoroughly humiliated in front of all the parents.

Sasuke smirked wryly then. “You’ll never keep a girlfriend with that attitude.”

Naruto slumped against the wall, resignation weighing him down, like he were waterlogged.

Yeah, maybe he’ll never a get a girlfriend, even when he makes it out of here, none of those high class women are going to want anything to do with him. They might indulge in his brash, folksy charm, but then the fascination will wear off and he’ll just be a funny anecdote recalled at random.

“I don’t understand how you do it.” He envisioned Sasuke’s shameless body count, simultaneously impressed and nauseated by the sheer numbers the player already accrued. Sixteen years old. Truly, nobody at home was paying any damn attention, were they?

Right, so… Sasuke’s able to go anywhere he wants. He’s an Uchiha. His parents have money. Old money from the post-war days, selling munitions to Suna (who had kicked their ass in another minor conflict however long before). Regardless, Sasuke still partook in the occasional local girl when the need arised.

Sasuke shrugged. “Pussy’s all the same.”

“Tch. For you, it is. Spent up all that novelty early, fuckin’ normie. What’s the longest a girl’s asked you to go, huh?”

Sasuke held up two fingers.

“Hours?!”

“Fuck, moron. Twenty minutes.”

Naruto settled back down. “Oh. Well, that seems like nothing.”

“You’re not going to last two minutes your first time.”

“Heh. I’ll just choke my dick with a string. That shit works, right?”

“Gross. A string? Like your fucking shoestring?”

“Nah, man! Like her g-string.”

Sasuke choked on his laughter, cigarette hitting his airways the wrong way.

“Why’m I hanging out with you again?”

Naruto lazily tilted his head back and smirked. Sometimes he wondered why, too. “Cuz I’m fun.”

“Right.” Sasuke cleared his throat behind the crook of his elbow. “So… What are you going to do? About your fap material?”

Naruto shrugged. “Suffer?”

“Internet Cafe?”

“This shithole ain’t got one. You know that.”

“Could try the computer lab.”

Naruto’s brows raised at the fresh suggestion. “That is true.” Why hadn’t he ever thought of that? The internet… Yes! The advent of the information superhighway has been upon them for a few years now, but the hardware itself was still a luxury. Even the latest gaming console was more achievable than the OS itself. The only computer he technically had access to would be his dad’,s but no way he was sneakin’ in there.

Suddenly the very idea of internet porn, searchable and highly varied, made his body thrum with excitement. The back of his neck tingled at the thought of authentic moans recorded in real time.

He patted Sasuke’s chest as he stood up, gratitude and determination filling him up and giving him new life.

Sasuke stamped out the cigarette and followed right behind him.

━━━━━━━━━

Naruto was practically hopping on the balls of his feet, he was so excited! Like a kid in the candy store, he didn’t know what he was going to pick first.

Soft, steady clicks of a keyboard drifted from the open door, leading his eyes to the last person he expected to see here, her cropped bluish-black hair cleaned of this morning’s chalk residue.

Naruto clicked his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head as his shoulders hunched forward, with his hands in his pockets, blatantly advertising his disdain.

Really fucking sad how nothing’s changed for her in the two and a half years he was gone.

“People like her really gonna die the way they lived, huh?” He muttered, half to himself and half to Sasuke, earning a half shrug in reply.

Was she always like that? A crossdresser? Naruto had no idea. There was no indication that he could recall. He swore she wore sundresses and plain shorts in girly colors, but who knows. Maybe that wasn’t how she felt.

Still, if she wanted to be a boy and a weakling of one at that, then he really didn’t have any fucks to give towards her suffering.

She brought it on herself, not trying to fit in, be less… weird.

What the hell was she looking up anyway? What had her typing so damn fast?

Without a word to Sasuke, he made a beeling for Hinata’s row and stood behind her. She froze deathly still when he propped himself up by the table edge, hovering over her with no consideration for her personal space.

He read alout what he was seeing, in a monotone voice full of awkward full pauses.

Some sort of forum with a fast-moving chat box.

“‘I can’t recommend this tutorial enough… Sunny27, you’re so talented. I can’t wait to see what you make after you watch it… Epoxy is such a game-changer…’ The fuck? What nerd shit is this?” He glanced down at Hinata, only to find that she either mentally checked out or was ignoring him. He observed her taut posture absolutely radiating with discomfort and awkwardness and he scoffed. He scoffed at being so beneath her time she couldn’t even answer him, let alone relax around him. “Whatever, uggo.”

He pulled away from her and headed a row back, taking a spot next to Sasuke. He glanced up once more at Hinata ahead of them, expecting her to resume chatting with her friends, but no.

Instead, she started logging off and gathering her stuff. A hasty retreat if he ever saw one.

Naruto didn’t notice the sneer tugging at his lips, nor the pang emphasizing the emptiness in his chest. It was like a stone had been kicked down a deep, deep cavern, echoing, sending vibrations, mapping out just how far the hollowness had been carved deep inside him.

How did she have anything better to do that didn’t have to do with him?

━━━━━━━━━

Naruto didn’t wait around for Sasuke, and he didn’t go to Costco either.

Sometimes he watched him, standing there looking stupid in his archery garb, hitting whistling bullseyes like it was nothing.

His parents were really missing out.

Instead, Naruto went to retrieve his school bag.

Standing in front of a row of coin-lockers inside the train station, Naruto inserted the key and unlocked it. Reaching inside, he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulders, then relocked their specific locker.

Blocky buildings boxed in by cars and glowing signs became shadowy silhouettes devoid of details as the sun dipped lower and lower, the densely forests mountains casting their long shadows upon the town valley.

As Naruto drew close to a traffic mirror, with its giant fishbowl lenses facing opposing sides of the street, the boxy corner of a black vehicle creeped into the reflection.

And it was stationed a little too close for his liking. Naruto pretended not to see it, instead staring hard into the windshield at the driver himself.

It wasn't Kakashi.

It wasn't his dad in another car neither, not that Naruto could reason why that'd be a possibility.

He hasn't wrecked the brand new sedan yet.

Was absolutely against his probation to ever drive again, so really, there was no risk of him making the same mistake twice.

Maybe.

That faded orange baseball hat, those opaque aviator sunglasses. Did he... know him? Kinda had a look he'd like to cop for himself, if, well... it didn't already look suspicious as hell. Like some cop in civvies that still looked like a damn cop-- Wait.

Panic jabbed like two fingers in his heart, adrenaline coursing through him.

He broke probation.

Did Kakashi rat him the fuck out?

Were they already onto him?

Was it over?! Were they sending him away?! Again?!

The car slowly rolled forward before stopping beside him. Naruto continued to ignore it, his mind jumping between a million different contingencies and instincts.

The hum of the automatic window descended before thumping softly into place, and the driver leaned his head out of the side, with his elbow perched over the door.

"Hey, loser. Get in."

His panic, his fear, his paranoia plummeted at his feet, leaving him cleaned out, nervy and a bit cold. Relief rushed in, but only conceptually. The absence of his worries itself a sort of relief. His heart rate began to slow as he turned towards that familiar voice, warm and brotherly.

The driver slid his aviators down the bridge of his nose.

"Think your pops will be happy to see me?"

In all honesty, he shouldn't be happy to see him. The advocator of his rehabilitation, the enabler of those boys' suffering like his own. He shouldn't be happy to see Obito, the one who promised his dad he'd get better and then apparently failed. Or, that's how that conversation should have gone.

Instead, the blame had solely been laid on Naruto.

Naruto grinned at the thirty-something year old Uchiha, a confusing myriad of emotions clashing inside of him like a tumult.

In all honesty, he never clicked with anyone better than Obito.

"What, you're not gonna ask if I'm happy to see you?" Naruto joked as he walked towards the rear passenger side, squeezing the handle as he opened the door. He slipped inside, appreciating the ride. Better this than walking past the manure stink wafting off the fields between home and town. The moment he settled in, Obito shifted the gear into drive and they were off.

"Oh, I know you are. Got you something,” Obito replied as he tapped the center console. Possessed by curiosity, Naruto leaned forward and popped it open, reaching inside. “Probation must be hell.”

“You would know, asshole.” Naruto dug inside and pulled out a dime bag of different size and colored pills, anticipation and longing filling him to burst. His gaze lingered on the pills, each one containing a different experience. They were like new worlds for him to explore, full of new sensations, a shift in reality. Anything was better than the one he's been living the past eleven years, that's for damn sure. "Man, I coulda done with some better weed if you were gonna come over,” He chuckled as he threw himself back, propping his feet on the console and he folding his hands behind his head.

Obito’s opaque stare bore through him from the rearview mirror. “I trust you.”

━━━━━━━━━

Naruto let Obito and his dad have their little reunion. He wasn't invited. Well, not when his dad hated his very existence.

Naruto flicked on his hot plate and filled a kettle from the sink with water. Then he grabbed his trusty pocket knife and slid a stool beneath the vent in the ceiling.

He twisted at the screws and the flap fell open, allowing him to dig around for a metal lunchbox he kept stashed away.

Sitting on his bed, he flipped it open, revealing bundles and bundles of tightly rolled ryo bills.

He retrieved the thickly padded enveloped he had hidden inside the lining of his school bag, the single character 'Ji' written on the front in janky arthritic strokes.

Naruto fished out the bills, quickly thumbing through the amount despite knowing the old creep never skimmed or missed a payment.

Taking a rubber band out of the small, cloudy plastic bag tucked in the corner of the lunch box, Naruto rolled the bills and added them to the rest.

The kettle whined into a piercing scream. He loosely shut the lid as he moved to shut off the appliance, thinking of all the things he wanted to do with his money once his probation was complete, where in the city he was going to live, what kind of apartment he wanted to have, and what kind of girls he was going to pamper.

He's not sure he can wait until graduation.

Sent away once, and he couldn't forget the taste of that freedom. Even at a place like that, so rampant with corruption and abuse that he couldn't wait to get out, to stop fighting for his own survival... More and more he found himself lying wide awake and... missing it.

Naruto slipped his hand into his pants pocket, sliding his roughened fingers over the various pills and capsules through the dime bag plastic, and he envisioned the future that he wanted to have.

The one that he would carve with his own two hands.

He just has to do a better job of not getting caught.

━━━━━━━━━ end chapter━━━━━━━━━