#ignore that canonically this couldn't happen bc of natm 2 or 3

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Night at The Museum x The Old Guard crossover

Standard museum heist set up. The Old Guard discovers the museum has something that belonged to one of them and they want it back and the obvious plan is to steal it back. So like in the TTT issue, one or two of them get a job at the museum to figure out the floor plans and security system.

"Okay, this is a weird one," Nile says. "Their nighttime employee is just one guy, the night guard. No other security, no janitors or anything. Just him."

So they think it'll be an easy job. Just avoid the one guy, work with the cameras, etc. They know what they're doing by now.

Except, of course, when they actually get inside, it becomes the weirdest fucking thing they've ever experienced in their lives. They're attacked by a group of assorted Huns, cavemen, and Civil War dummy soldiers. A lion they all saw in the Sahara exhibit nearly rips Andy's arm off. A monkey steals Nile's phone. They all have little toothpick arrows sticking out of their clothes and skin.

They're captured, of course, and they're wondering what the hell is going on. Larry is about to lock them up until the police can come pick them up in the morning, about to give the whole "No one will ever believe you" speech, when Ahkmenrah walks in to see what's going on.

"Andromache the Scythian?"

"Ahkmenrah?"

Because of course they knew each other, way back when. Andy had been sad to see such a sweet young man die so early in his reign. He had shown such promise.

"You two know each other?" Everyone says at once.

Then comes two very awkward explanations as to who they are and what's going on. Because once the 4000+ year old pharaoh and the 6000+ year old woman admit to knowing each other, there's no way to avoid that conversation. It's a weird night for everyone there.