#if your kid listens to metal they do drugs psas

[iwantutobehapppier]

So You Made Some Bad PSA’s

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Summary: Steve’s continuing embarrassing behavior towards and about you deserved equal punishment right? Maybe showing Bucky the PSA’s Steve did a while ago wasn’t such a good idea. Super Soldiers never half-ass anything.

Warnings: Just cursing and some implied violence I guess? Pinning?  Once saw something that said aggressively continues to ignore canon, yeah sames.

Word Count: 4,280

A/N: I was watching the Rappin With Cap videos on youtube and wondered how much crap Bucky would give Steve if he found out about them. I hope this is as funny of an idea as I thought it was. Tagging my lovely waifu @sagechanoafterdark who said she didn’t know she needed this until I brought it up. Hope you enjoy lovely.

"You need to calm down," Steve's snooty tone only fueled the flustered feelings he had brought. By now you were red from your chest to your ears with embarrassment. With a huff, you spun on your heels and left him dumbstruck.

"It's not that big of a deal!" He called out only digging himself deeper into the proverbial hole.

You had never been so embarrassed in your life!!

“Self-righteous asshat,” you grumbled making your way to the gym to blow off steam instead of slapping the aforementioned asshat. Who said things like that around mixed company? What that man lacked with tact he held a surplus of righteousness.

Shoving the gym doors open you missed how your entry caught Bucky’s attention, sitting up on the bench press.

When you made a straight shot to the punching bag muttering "Star-Spangled douche" Bucky's suspicion of your explosive entry into the gym was confirmed.

Watching you wrap your hands he lifted a brow picking up the soft "Captain No Ass America". He laid back down and returned to his nearly maxed barbell, decidedly steering clear from your unpleasant mood.

The gym would have been peaceful for Bucky’s much-needed energy-burning exercise except all he could focus on was your insistent mutterings coupled with the sound of air rushing from gloves as you hit the bag with all the weight of your body.

You were all consumed in imagining Steve’s stupid face on the bag were you fists landed that when Bucky called your name out you jumped back startled.

“What’s got ya’ so riled up little spitfire?” Bucky’s arms crossed over his chest as he watched you in amusement. There was a multitude of things his punk of a friend did this time to jostle you so much. He was never good with dames.

“Your friend has no tact,” Bucky could only nod in agreement. “He doesn’t think before he opens that stupid perfect mouth of his!” He ignored the perfect part but certainly cataloged it for future proof of the fact you two were into each other. Which is often the cause of these semi-occasional fits.

“Has no regard for how embarrassing he can be sometimes,” you drug the palm of your hand across your face in exhaustion of both Steve and the energy you exhumed on the punching bag.

“Ya’ know how to get back at him right?” You looked at Bucky from between your fingers with growing curiosity.

“Embarrass him,” he pulled his arms out far “And I mean BIG time.” Bucky continued on. “I’m talking ‘bout something that will last for a good while.” 

“I love the punk, but he never learns unless he gets a taste of his own medicine.” Bucky knew that wouldn’t really resolve the situation if anything it’d make the tension between you two worse but he was willing and giddy to watch this escalate.

You stood there mulling his idea around in your head. What on earth could you do that would sufficiently and irrevocably embarrass Captain America? The man ran around in star-spangled leotard for years. What could possibly be more embarrassing than the less than flattering renditions of his uniform?

And then it hit you.

“Hey, Bucky?” You questioned with a saccharine voice most men should fear coming from a woman’s ire. Buck raised an eyebrow in question.

“You ever see the PSA’s Steve did?” Bucky’s eyes lit up with uncontained wonder.

 ~*~

 Steve sat in the group kitchen eating one of the many grilled chicken breasts and vegetable platters you had prepared for him to reheat later. Debriefing for the next mission was in a few hours and he hadn’t seen you or Bucky all day. You tended to stay to yourself in the mornings but Bucky would normally meet him in the gym after Steve’s morning run.

But last night you and Bucky had been up late together. In your room. With the door closed. Not that Steve walked by or anything. He definitely didn’t walk by 5 times within one hour. No, not him.

Steve couldn’t figure out which was worse, the fact you were in your room late with Buck or the fact you two spent most the night laughing endlessly. Honestly, Steve was more than hurt that he wasn’t invited to whatever fun-filled evening you two had. He knew you were upset with him but normally you’d go to the gym or run around the lake on the compound grounds and come back later. He would apologize, not sure what most the time but he knew he felt bad for hurting your feelings.

If he was honest, and Steve Rogers prided himself on his honesty, he did like watching your ass bounce when you walked away, upset or not.

As if his thoughts manifested the two of you, you both walked in whispering and giggling. 

“What are you two conspiring about?” Steve couldn’t help as one side of his lips lifted, he did enjoy seeing Bucky bonding with people and if it was with you even better. You were after all one of the sweetest people Steve knows.

You and Bucky stopped talking, looking at Steve in a way that made him squirm in his chair. Specifically, the disconcerting look Bucky directed at him.

“Steve, what would you say is the toughest enemy you ever faced?” Bucky’s question confused Steve more than he could say. What was he getting at? His tone sounded more rhetorical than inquisitive.

“Well Buck, I don’t know,” He answered. Bucky stroked his chin with his metal thumb and forefingers. 

“Oh, you wouldn’t say its tooth decay?” He grinned back at his dear friend since childhood enjoying the torture he was going to surely bring upon him.

Fear, unrelenting fear and embarrassment struck Steve to his core. Suddenly the two of you laughing so much made sense. His face paled and eyes narrowed in on you, but the innocent face you played so well failed to hide what he knew happened.

“Please. Buck. No,” Bucky’s grin turned maniacal at the soft blush now growing on Steve’s cheeks. “Oh, Steve yes!”

Before Bucky could start back up Steve went on the defense.

“I thought it would be helpful, remember the PSA’s in the theatres?” Desperation for his friend to understand and drop this clear in his voice.

“Yeah, they were stupid you bozo and so are these.” Bucky turned his gaze to you leaned against the kitchen island watching the exchange between the two of them. This was solid gold, and only going to get better if Bucky’s words of encouragement earlier held any truth.

“I really need something to give me an edge for today’s debriefing.” Bucky began again. Steve could feel his face turn red with every passing moment. His best friend was never going to drop this.

“I know just what you mean Buck.” You chimed in, Steve turned his head down. Did you two find them together? Did you know about them and show them to Bucky?

“Can you make me a hot lunch Steve?” Bucky faced his good ol’ pal once more, rubbing his stomach for emphasis.

“Yeah, a well-balanced diet keeps your body healthy.” You rested your chin in the palm of your hand, eyes bouncing between the two Super Soldiers. Steve raised his head back up, his blank face directed at Bucky.

“Tell us about the food pyramid so we can find that balance we need,” Bucky could feel his cheeks start to hurt. The tortured look on Steve’s face while small was enough for him to pick up on and it was everything Bucky needed.

“Bucky please,” Steve lamented but Bucky would have none of it.

“Isn’t this like that stupid Bonds selling they had you do back in the war?” Buck accused. 

“This was different, it was for the kids.” Bucky nodded his head, 

“Right, right the kids,” Bucky paused “Did you even read it before they started filming?”

If Steve’s face could get any redder it would have. “Listen I didn’t totally understand it, but I was assured it was for the kids.” Before Steve could suffer any more embarrassment he abandoned his meal and the kitchen.

“Also why was it called ‘Rappin with Cap?” Bucky called out to Steve’s retreating figure. “Missed opportunity for Rappin’ with Cappin’. Who do I talk to get that updated?” Steve threw his hands up in exasperation continuing his retreat.

“Buzz off jerk!” He hollered back at Bucky.

“What would the kids think, Steve?!” You and Bucky laughed, your sides ached double time from the work out they got last night from all the laughing then.

“Ah that was good, he was definitely embarrassed.” You smiled at Bucky wiping some tears in the corner of your eyes. “Thanks, Bucky.”

“Oh, we’re far from finished.” You blanched, you suddenly felt precarious about the continued punishment. You knew Steve needed to learn the lesson, Bucky had assured you it would work. But you were losing confidence in continued torture as Steve’s face of embarrassment resurfaced in your mind.

“How long were you going to carry this on?” You muttered chewing on your bottom lip.

“I don’t know probably until it stops being funny.” His side grin did nothing to ease your worry about how much Steve would suffer through this. 

“Which will be never.” Bucky chuckled going to the fridge for some lunch. “You want anything?”

 ~*~

 Bucky sat across from Steve eyeing him during the customary post-mission group meal. Wanda sat next to him while Nat and Clint posted up at the end of the table. Bruce and Tony at the other end discussing the level of science others could barely understand. 

You were finished loading up a plate of food about to find a spot on the large meeting table turned into the dining table when Bucky’s voice carried over loudly in the room.

“Ya know,” Bucky leaned back in his chair, the front legs lifting off the floor. “This mission went really well, we all followed the rules.”

Steve lifted an eyebrow at Bucky’s words trying to discern the trajectory of this out of character comment.

“Wouldn’t you say so, Steve?” Bucky looked at Steve biting the inside of his mouth to stop his smile. Steve jaw ticked, he understood now. Everyone at the table was looking between the two of them.

“Yeah Buck, the mission went well.” The blonde’s gritted out between clenched teeth.

“I mean the only way to be cool is to follow the rules. Right Cap?” Tony chortled at Bucky’s words quickly picking up on what was occurring. Of course Tony had seen the videos too.

“Steve, weren’t you a war criminal?” Bucky couldn’t hide his smile any longer, glancing at you then back to Steve causing the Blonde Soldier to look your way. You covered your smile with your free hand, holding your plate with the other.

“Bucky,” His tone anything but indulgent to Bucky’s antics.

“You must not be that cool, way to break ALL the rules, Cap.” Steve palmed his face with one hand and gave an exasperated breath.

You sat down next to Steve and began to eat just as Steve stood up. Taking his unfinished plate he began to leave the meeting room.

“Hey, punk!” Steve turned his head towards Bucky, everyone watching the exchange between the two Super Soldier brothers still.

“Since ya break so many rules,” Bucky paused “Know where I can get some illegal fireworks?”

“For fucks sake Bucky,” Steve walked out after that.

"Language!" Tony quipped, Steve’s shoulders sagged as he exited.

 ~*~

 Three weeks. It had been three weeks since you unknowingly unleashed Bucky hell on Steve.

Sure the two of them picked on each other and often lead to heated words but it would always dissipate with ease. This was a whole other level.

Maybe, if there hadn’t been SO MANY videos for Bucky to antagonize his best mate with it would have stopped by now. As it where Steve did more PSA’s than he remembered and every time Bucky had the chance, he brought them up. In subtle and not so subtle ways.

Steve’s face was either red with embarrassment or rage when Bucky was in the room. Most times he stomped out, others Bucky left laughing the whole way out of the room. 

You had been staying out of it, for the most part, being a bystander like the rest of the Avengers. Unlike the rest of the avengers though, you were always left with this rock in the pit of your stomach knowing you were solely responsible.

Entering the debrief room you noticed everyone was there assigned to the upcoming mission except your righteous leader, Steve.

“Anyone know where Steve is?” You voiced your concern, he was never late to debriefing in the entire time you’d been an Avenger. FRIDAY answered before anyone else in the room could address.

"I've been advised to inform you that Captain Rogers will not be attending any meetings that include Sergeant Barnes until he refrains from goading Captain.” As the AI spoke your eyes cut to Bucky with a pleading look.

This had to stop. 

Walking right out of the room you made a beeline for Steve’s office, the Winter Soldier hot on your trail. When Bucky’s hand made to open the door to Steve’s office you swatted at it glaring up at him as you knocked on the solid door. Bucky rolled his eyes at your etiquette.

“Come in,” Steve paused, “Unless it’s Bucky.” he continued. You stuck your tongue out at Bucky before entering the room and shutting it behind you and locking.

Steve looked up raising an eyebrow at the locking, his face a little flush at the potential implication.

“Bucky,” You explained and he nodded face sullen.

“I wanted to apologize Steve.” You started and he raised his hand up to stop you but you ignored him.

“Had I known how far and long Bucky would take this I would have shown him maybe only one or two videos.” Steve frowned. “Definitely not all of them.”

“Well thank you for that apology,” His deadpan delivery less than stellar for the rock still sitting in your stomach. He stood up and reached past you to unlock the door. You couldn’t help but breathe in his cologne and the smell that was uniquely him.

With Bucky and Steve avoiding each other leading to Steve avoiding you, you had almost forgotten how wonderful he smelt. You also had not been on the receiving end of his embarrassing lack of tact with the subsequent avoidance but you had forgotten that too at the moment.

“I really am sorry,” You muttered out, Steve stalled opening the door at the remorse in your voice.  He said your name with a sigh, his breath fanning against your face your body hair breaths away, his hand lingering on the door handle. The warmth of his body could be felt even through your clothing.

This sensation was a reminder of all the times you two would spar, trying hard to ignore how well he felt against you, instead of focusing on winning a match against the perfect soldier. You had to ignore it, after all, he was your Captain, and you were just you.

“I know you are, but you did it none the less.” The finality in his words made it clear your apology was not accepted and you really couldn’t blame him with how far Bucky had taken this.

Finally opening the door Steve’s eyes narrowed in what could only be described as a death glare to the chaotic soldier behind you. 

“Bucky,” you turned around as Steve addressed him as you made your way out of the room.

“Steve,” Bucky mimicked the serious tone Steve gave, only his face held that Cheshire cat smile unlike Steve’s.

Before either of them could startup you attempted to mediate. “Come on Soldiers, we’ve got a debriefing to attend.” Grabbing Bucky by his metal arm you tugged him along, fearing rejection from Steve if you attempted the same.

~*~

 Bucky had been away on a mission with Natasha for the past month and Steve had enjoyed the much-needed reprieve from his friend’s torture. He was hoping the passing of time would wear off the novelty of teasing. Steve ever the optimist. 

Bucky was catching up with you in the hall after finishing his debriefing jokingly scolding you for not carrying on his torture.

“Come on, he’s almost learned his lesson.” Bucky elbowed your arm smirking at you.

“I don’t think this is a lesson by fire situation anymore. Maybe it never was going to work leaving you to deal out the punishment.” You folded your arms over your chest settling your narrowed eyes on the brown-haired chaotic neutral incarnate.

“It’s all in good fun,” Bucky justified, knowing full well he was pushing his luck with Steve. He was sick of Steve’s silence regarding his feelings for you and if he could punish him for the mounting sexual tension he had to suffer between the two of you then he’d deal it out on the regular.

Steve caught the sight of the two of you and couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at his lips when you flagged him over.

“Hey Steve,” you greeted his dopey smile contagious. Steve nodded his head towards you before looking at his friend.

“How was it, Buck?” He inquired and Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Come on man you can read it in the reports you make me fill out,” Steve returned the eye roll.

“Are you joining Bucky and me for movie night?” You inquired with hope towards Steve, wanting to prevent any escalation between the two as well. Maybe a peaceful movie night would help the damage you did with those videos.

Steve scratched the back of his head starting to stumble on his words. Bucky couldn’t stop himself, well he’s sure he could but why would he when his friend was starting to make a fool of himself.

“Do you feel an itch, Steve?” Steve’s hand froze at Bucky’s words. His face falling at this line of conversation. Couldn’t he just leave well enough alone?

“I hate you so much Buck,” Bucky’s Cheshire cat smile returned with a vengeance, your brows rising in confusion. What was? No Bucky wasn’t doing it again?!

“You could have lice,” Bucky’s tone a face concern. 

“Bucky stop,” Steve’s tone dangerously calm.

“Stand up and be a hero Steve.” Before Bucky could start his signature peals of laughter at his friend’s embarrassment, he blew up.

“That’s enough!” Steve’s face turning red. This was the limit, apparently. He pointed at Bucky then swung the accusatory finger towards you, “I don’t know what I did to deserve the two of you ganging up on me like this.” 

“Com’on Steve this isn’t on her,” Bucky interjected, wanted to take the heat off you. His plan wasn’t going to work if Steve lumped you in with his anger. “I was gonna find those videos eventually,” Bucky went to your defense but it was unnecessary as the dope had hit a nerve.

“You don’t know what you did to deserve this?!” Steve was incredulous. How could he be so daft to his actions?!

“You say the dumbest things to me.” Your hands gestured around wildly “And in front of me about me at the worst times!” You took a step towards Steve whose fire was being dampened by your growing temper. “Embarrassing the crap out of me in front of staff or even the team!”

You nearly blew a gasket at how bewildered Steve appeared. “I didn’t know I did that.” 

“Of course you didn’t,” His eyes narrowed at your growing condescension. “Because you don’t pay attention to how your words affect others!” 

Bucky watched the two of you with what was at first amusement but rapidly turning to worry when Steve squared his shoulders. You both had tempers known to be nuclear when opposing.

“Don’t pay attention?!” Steve threw his hands up in the air, the loud clap sound of them falling to his sides at his words make you flinch. “All I do is give you my undivided attention.” His gaze levels on you, both of you oblivious to your audience.

“For years.” Steve’s voice strained, trying to express what he longed to say without actually having to put himself out there.

“Wait, what?” You shook your head now you the one befuddled between the two of you, his words washing away your indignation. 

“Where has that gotten me huh?” Your confusion only fueled Steve. Of course, you don’t understand what he was trying to say. Steve was pas the point of reasoning now.

“My best friend seeing some of the most ridiculous things I did freshly out of the ice,” his eyes darting between the two of you, “And you two exploiting it!” Taking a deep breath closing his eyes Steve tried to calm the storm inside him.

You took a step away clutching your chest at the venom he spewed. How fast a playful way to take self-righteous Steve Rogers down a few pegs put you on the top of his shit list.

“Steve-” You started only to stop and try again. “I-” Steve’s eyes snapped open narrowing on you fumbling your words, hands wringing in front of you.

“JUST STOP!” You let out a soft yelp at the volume his voice hit. “You’ve done enough don’t you think?!” 

You wanted to defend yourself but thought better of it. Nodding your head you walked off with short paced steps to escape.

Steve watched your retreating figure, face softening with each step you took. He went to follow you but stopped himself. He had made enough of a mess. Looking at Bucky he groaned at the disappointment written all over his face.

Without another word, he left Bucky alone in the hall seeking solace from his embarrassing temper tantrum.

 ~*~

 Bucky entered Steve’s office without knocking, he assumed if Steve truly didn’t want to be bothered he could have easily locked the door or had FRIDAY bar anyone from entering.

Steve sat with his head in his hands, taking in deep breaths trying to find some kind of solution to the problem that ever was you.

“So you acted like an idiot because you don’t know how to talk to women?” Steve looked up at Bucky’s words and held back the desire to flip his desk right at him. Bucky had turned the chair across from his desk around and was straddling it facing him. Arms crossed over the top of the backing. Just like he did in those stupid videos. Videos you had watched countless times by now.

“Buck,” Steve’s strained voice conveying enough to Bucky but not enough to get him to sit properly in the chair. “Please leave it alone.”

“Listen, man, I’m serious. You suck at women.”

“Gee, thanks, bud.” Steve looked down at his desk in defeat.

“You’re welcome.” Bucky knocked on the table. “Now what are you going to do to fix this?” Steve scoffed raising his head up to face his longest friend.

“Why do I have to fix it?”

“Because you yelled at her,” his words full of disbelief, Bucky was almost in awe at Steve’s inability to at least learn a few things about women without him around to get him a pity date.

“If she hadn’t-” Bucky raised a hand to get Steve to stop before he even started.

“Lemme’ stop you right there punk,” Steve’s deadpan stare did nothing to stop him. “You and I both know this is way beyond me picking on you about some PSA’s.” 

“I think its got a lot-”

“Just because you’re all buff doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass if you don’t shut up,” Bucky flexed his metal arm, the whirling of metal cogs warming up filled the office, clearly, he was intending to make good on his threat.

“Fine,” Steve was done fighting for the day. “What’s this about then?” His arm gesturing across his desk for Bucky to continue sans interruption.

“You love her,” Buck was impressed at how quick Steve’s face reddened.

“You hate that she’s been spending all this time with me,” Steve went to argue before he could get a word in Bucky raised an eyebrow rolling his left shoulder back.

“My silence doesn’t mean agreement.” Steve just didn’t want his office wrecked or the rant Tony would give him for the cost of repairs. 

Bucky huffed rolling his eyes, “Man, what does she even see in you?”

“What?”

“Come on, you two can’t be this oblivious?” Buck leaned forward pushing until the chair only had two legs on the ground and he was leaning over Steve’s desk keeping eye contact.

“You two are hopelessly into each other,” Steve sat up straight shaking his head in disbelief. “It’s sickening really,” Bucky leaned back the chair slamming back to the ground and groaning at the abuse. 

“How can you tell, are you sure she likes me?” Steve’s words jumbled in his mouth

“Don’t do that thing, bozo,” Bucky crossed his arms in front of his chest “Where you act all ‘oh she likes me’” He pulled his metal hand out and pointed at Steve, “Just go get her.” 

Steve stood up with gust and left his office with the same level of energy.

Bucky stuck his head out the office door threshold.

“Don’t skim on the human reproduction lessons!” Steve chose to ignore his friend’s taunt, determination written on his face. He’d spent plenty of time thinking and talking about all of this. It was time for action.