#if you've got even a passing interest in sports i cannot recommend jon bois and dorktown enough

[highpriestmckickass]

so recently, i've been watching a docuseries by jon bois, a sportswriter whose storytelling style i really enjoy. the most recent episode i saw was about the 1998 minnesota vikings.

any football fan, especially those from minnesota, can tell you the same thing:

the vikings will always blow it.

to be clear, it's not that they're a bad team. there's plenty of consistently bad teams: teams with decade-long playoff droughts, teams with a historical record permanently stuck under .500, and teams that are the new york jets.

the thing about the vikings is they're usually good, and sometimes even spectacular. it's just that... they're never quite good enough.

for example, at the beginning of the superbowl era, the vikings were a force to be reckoned with, starring in four of the first eleven superbowls. they were also the first team to lose four superbowls, and since then, they've never made it back to the championship game.

they've come close many times, but always manage to miss it. sometimes by getting blown out, sometimes by torturous, razor-thin margins. by many metrics, the vikings are far-and-away the best team to have never won the superbowl.

watching this episode in 2023, i know full well that the vikings did not make it to the superbowl in 1998. i'm a pretty casual fan, so i don't know the exact path they take, but i do know how it ends. everyone watching this episode knows how it ends.

but with a good enough storyteller, that part of your brain turns off just a little. maybe this time, somehow, it will turn out differently. maybe it doesn't have to happen this way.

it's 1998.

things are looking pretty good for the vikings this year.

they've just finished the season with a record of 15-1, something that only two teams have done before: the '84 49ers and the '85 bears, both of which decisively won the superbowl in their years.

they're packing an incredible offense, which has just set the record for number of points scored in the regular season, racking up at least 24 points each game. most of their wins have been by double-digits, and their only loss was by just 3. at the time, they are considered the best offense in nfl history, and even in the far-off year of 2023, still comfortably sit in the top ten of all time.

this success comes from several excellent players:

their quarterback, randall cunningham, has come out of retirement as a countertop salesman in nevada, to be inexplicably rejuvenated and enjoy the best season of his career.

their receivers include future hall of famers randy moss and cris carter, who will both become known as two of the best wide receivers of all time.

randy moss, in particular, is so effective at overpowering defenders and contesting catches that, decades into the future, "getting mossed" is still a part of the football lexicon.

if their opponents commit too hard to covering those two pass options, the vikings can punish them in the form of robert smith, an excellent running back who has rushed for 1187 yards and 6 touchdowns this year.

and it's not just their offense.

they've got one of the best ever defensive tackles, john randle, who still holds the record for sacks in his position, and their kicker, gary anderson, has just accomplished what no other kicker has done before, and only three have done since: finish the season with a literally perfect record, never missing a single field goal or extra point.

this is it. this is the year. the stars have aligned and all the pieces are in place. after several decades of striving, the vikings are going to make it to, and finally win, the superbowl.

against the atlanta falcons, cunningham fumbles on his own 18. randle is injured and has to sit out the rest of the game. anderson misses a crucial field goal, his first miss in nearly two years. safety robert griffith drops not one, but two would-be-game-clinching interceptions. with 30 seconds left, the coach forgets he has two timeouts left, and has the team to take a knee to run out the clock.

the falcons win 30-27 in overtime.

the vikings will always blow it.

I’m such a prequel girlie at the end of the day. Hahaha yes tell me a story that was always going to happen. Tell me a story that’s been dead since the beginning