#if you're gonna try to argue with me just fuckin dont actually

[parapsychologicalvulpes]

Lmao literally within two hours of the pokemon presents I saw people bitching abt plza bc "it's only set in a city" okay????? And?????? You ain't never been in a massive city before to get lost in???? you're the same people who bitched and moaned on and on about how the cities in SV and SWSH felt so lifeless and boring and when they're like "okay, definitely not making that mistake here" you turn around and whine that it's gonna be boring only being in a city

Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up oh my god pokemon fans are LITERALLY unpleasable. They're bringing back megas, which again, everyone and their mother complained about going away. We don't know ANYTHING yet and already people are complaining that it's gonna be the ilca remake bc they gotta find a way to shoehorn in shitting on that too bc y'all are incapable of feeling joy and whimsy

[gasmeros]

ask game: Anger is also a trauma response and Dumbass (affectionate) pretty please

I genuinely love all your ideas

aaaa you're so sweet

so the first one is my own take on an atla fanfic trope ive seen a lot of, which is basically after the boiling rock in s3, zuko is super jittery around hakoda cuz he has dad trauma. but like, while i enjoy the hurt/comfort in most of these fics, im kinda bothered by the complete lack of anger/lashing out in most of them. it's part of fandom's tendency to woobify the whumpee so to speak. file em down the the perfect demure victim. dont like that much. SO. it's basically a fic where zuko feels unsafe around hakoda and it manifests in him being grumpy and angry and really not nice to hakoda at all, or anyone for that matter

this one is meant to be a oneshot for sure, and has been sitting at 926 words for over a year lol. content warnings for uhh, anger?? as a trauma response?? shouting.....? i guess child abuse, but that's just cw: zuko tbh. this one is all just plotting and should probably be in my mini wips document but i haven't moved it yet. so here's the climax plotting to enjoy

fun to have a break scene like they usually happen, hakoda shouts for some reason or moves too fast towards on of this kids and zuko thinks he's going to hurt them, and there's the usual fanfic response (zuko either flinches real fuckin bad at shouting, or moves to protect the kids from hakoda). things are different though, cuz instead of zuko's nervous protection or sudden panic over misunderstanding the situation, he just gets mad. like, mad mad. like, "i thought he was mad before but hooo boy i was wrong" mad. he yells at hakoda, and maybe hakoda's finally figured it out finally, so he doesn't get as defensive as he usually would. but the sibs havent quite gotten it yet, so everything dissolves into a huge fight between all the kids.

water sibs are pissed about how zuko's treating their dad, zuko maybe doesn't see his shift in behavior and denies it, aang brings up that no actually you're kinda really bad around him, and then toph jumps in like well maybe if hakoda wasnt a bossy bitch we wouldnt have problems, and it just keeps fuckin going. zuko feels called out and, in the throes of an angry trauma response, is gonna react with hostility, and that wont help anything. (aang? "you've been acting really weird." zuko "how would you know what's weird? you don't know me enough to know what's weird. maybe im just an angry fucking person.")

at some point hakoda tries to get everyone to chill, but believe it or not, him raising his voice to be heard isn't very helpful in this moment. so zuko responds by quite literally telling hakoda to fuck off, and the water sibs get even more defensive, and yeah that made it worse. great. eventually hakoda resorts to nudging one of the kids to try and calm things down, cuz he knows he cant do anything here. aang or suki? aang as avatar mediator is nice, but gotta see where everyone stands emotionally at this point.

eventually things end with zuko storming off, and maybe the implication that that might've been it for zuko being part of the group? obviously everyone's kinda reluctant when that idea is brought up, but katara and zuko's tempers are butting heads, so no one else really gets a say when they seem to come to the conclusion that it's over. and then zuko storms off, and aang is panicked cuz first of all emotions, but secondly firebending teacher??? toph goes after zuko and the others sit and have a chat about what just happened.

i have no idea if i wanna finish this one. while i stand by my sentiment that a lot of whump disregards anger as a valid fear response because it's not "cute", i dont know if i actually think zuko would feel unsafe around hakoda. like, it's soemthing you could definitely argue, but i dont know if i care enough to be the one arguing it agdjgsjf (also i feel kinda rude with this fic cuz it's quite literally me going "i dont like how anyone wrote this ._." and that's meeean)

ok dumbass (affectionate). you know that one scene in s3 dragon episode where aang just goes "i dont care what everyone says, you're pretty smart zuko" and zuko smiles for like a second before he figures out wtf aang just implied, and we get like 4 frames of him going >:0 as he slides out of frame? that scene killed me, but ALSO. what if i made it angsty

basically there's a sort of recurrent theme in atla where zuko gets called dumb in various ways. azula's everything, iroh's valid criticism of his lack of forethought, this scene. and im like, man that would build up if you heard that kinda shit your whole life, especially if there were some valid criticisms to make like the ones to zuko's rashness. so like. new to the gaang zuko not being really able to adapt to the friendly ribbing the gaang does when it comes to calling him dumb, zuko feeling basically bullied and therefore not close to the gaang at all, and the gaang eventually figuring out how he feels and going "oh shit wait no" and preceeding to maoe zuko feel even MORE mocked by making a hard u turn into genuine praise of his cleverness and general smarts. it ends happy i swear agfjhsbf (there is no ending atm)

this one is also a oneshot, 1,067 words. no real content warnings beyond yknow, dont read it if you dont like the premise i explained

this one i stopped because i have issues with executive dyfunction and also i had to go find references to every time zuko got called dumb in the show and i love to put off tasks. cuz of the executive dyfunction

"We could—" He stops before he really gets anywhere, shakes his head, and wishes they'd ignore him. "Nevermind."

But they've all got their eyes on him now, and he's the genius who picked the lull in the conversation to interrupt, so no one's exactly itching to move on. There's just the quiet, where everyone's hoping someone else will have something to say. And Zuko's gone and offered up his idiotic somethings.

"Got an idea, Sparky?" Toph asks.

"No, it’s dumb. Don't worry about it."

Sokka shrugs, and Zuko can't tell if it's because he really doesn't care or if that's just what he expected to hear. "We're fresh out of not dumb ideas, so..."

Right. Throw everything at a wall and see what sticks. Zuko suppresses a sigh. "My family has a vacation house on Ember Island. I know for a fact that no one will be there. Really, we purposefully avoid it. And it's nearby."

The group is silent, and Zuko wants to melt into the ground.

"I said it was stupid."

"No, no, hold on." Sokka's got a hand on his chin, stroking it in a weird mix of actually serious and playing it up. "That could work."

Zuko feels himself frowning. "You don't have to patronize me."

"No, really! It's the last place anyone would think to find us! It's so stupid, it might actually work!"

Great.

[larnax]

Genuine question, if it's alright to ask ofc, but in regards to fandom treatment & writing of him, what would be the best way to handle Temenos' *vague handmotions* whole deal?

same as any fictional guy who sucks ass, have fun but keep your brain on. if i ended up convincing you it might be worth looking into actual educational resources on copaganda and inquisitors that aren't from me about video game. i think whenever you're making a moral judgement (even/especially a lighthearted one) on a character it's always good to consider what factors are affecting it-- octo's noble/rogue dichotomy is a little more explicit than most games get so it's actually good practice. it's easy with fanon to flatten characters into archetypes which include Criminal/Innocent, Violent/Peaceful and Mature/Naive, which can be more meaningful than you mean them to be. if you're headcanoning something about fuckin uhhhh osvald, try the same thing with temenos and note if your mental image becomes less violent(chose osvald because he also has a technically combat minigame that also doesn't knock out the people he targets), then try a similar thing with ochette(who does knock people out).

also like i say a lot i think it's good when protagonists are allowed to have meaningful conflict, whether it's funny(osvald-tem ch5 banter my beloved) or more serious like ochette being given a chance to address his chapter 5's beastling origin story(which i would cite except it uh. well) or generally her getting the sharpest level of not being treated like a person. and if you are gonna put temenos in the ring, you have to let him be unambiguously wrong sometimes otherwise there is no point.

ultimately i dont want to outlaw liking temenos although he DOES really clog everyone else's search results(which is hard as someone who mostly just wants to see shirtless osvald and which i am not helping by writing all these posts abt him lol) and i actually have a lot of fun when I'm using him as a tool to force characters to reaffirm their moral codes or deal with an enemy that can't be fought or argued with head on, but my biggest advice besides the do actual research thing is to actually do the tax where for every temenos art or fic you must write or draw one of equivalent effort about an octopath girl.

[spiritblossoming]

bestie i think sps is going too far bc i was legit going to do this and then i couldn't find a prompt list without romantic ones (this is me begging you for the list PLEASE)

anyway jiejie and scout. 77. was going to go a more on-crack duo but i think we learned last time that when you have to spend the whole time explaining why they're in the same training room it's hard to do actual Plot. and, yk. besties. we need more content of them.

NAH IT STILL HAS THE ROMANCE ONES I JUST PRETEND THEY ARE NOT THERE

I—

this shit is actually scripted

ironically it's probably flandre who says that while they're on the Rift (because the schedule there is Wild). meiko has managed to fall asleep. jiejie, scout and flandre are trying very hard to do the same. viper is sitting on a rock.

that wasn't meant to be a wild rift joke

ofc scout immediately sits up

scout: at least you CAN sleep

jiejie, visibly exhausted: sleep is for the weak, couldn't be me

viper lets out a dramatic sigh. he has been attempting to meditate for the past 3 hours (because there's no fuckin way he's gonna SLEEP at NIGHT like a weirdo). his teammates mutter apologies and start whisper arguing instead

flandre: u CAN sleep u have jiejie

scout: ok but its not really MY sleep we're sharing

jiejie: dont—

scout: we literally share dreams

jiejie: DONT

scout: do u know how fucking weird his dreams are? every night is about human-sized gummy bears hunting us down in an abandoned amusement park or smth, not to mention the fuckin k-pop dreams like i CANT do u know what korean sounds like in his head??? its liter—

meiko, still dead asleep: Interrupt my sleep and I will interrupt your breathing.

meiko: unless you're viper

jiejie:

scout:

flandre:

viper:

meiko:

jiejie: in that case good night

he grabs onto scout and the two of them are out like a light

flandre is Confused

viper is chilling

that night scout dreams about losing to drx and laughs his ass off when he wakes up

[nunyo-bizznez]

You can like the fictionalized version of a non fiction person btw. Even if the real life personhood of that character you like was and awful person! And it doesn't mean you endorse the real life actions of the real life person!

Hell, you can even be invested in the real world accounts of that real world person and the non-fiction evil shit they did! Sometimes it fascinating stuff, even if its awful! Sometimes trainwrecks are very watchable!

And as long as you can live in reality, separate fact from fiction, and think critically about what your reading/watching, being mindful that the person(s) contained in the work was a (sometimes deeply and evily) troubled person, you're probably gonna be fine :)

Its also fine to see the non-fictionalized version of the less-than-good (maybe truly despicable) person and say , "hey, this guy fucking sucks and I'm enraged and disgusted to know of him!" And turn away from that work completely! That is also fine! Everyone has limits! Feel free not to engage with the media that portrays hateful people! Protect yourself :)

What's weird to me it to see a fictionalized account of a 'problematic' person and get mad that its fictionalized. If it was supposed to be an autobiographical work, it would have been labeled as such (i would hope). Its even weirder to me to get mad at people for enjoying the fictionalized version of the real person (who was terrible). Like, yeah, I do get it. A lot of people are morons who get all fuckin weird about the fiction version of the Bastard, but most people are reasonably intelligent. Block the people who can't interact with or interpret media in a healthy way and try to move on. Its the only thing to do, really. No amount of discourse will stop the people who extrapolate the fictional person onto the real person from being fuckin weird about it, sadly.

I just feel like we all should've learned this lesson with Hamilton. Were there fuckin weirdos who projected their understanding of Musical Alexander Hamilton onto the the flesh-and-blood, flawed human man who has an actual physical grave you can go to? Oh fuck yeah, and I didn't like them anymore than you did. But they were a vocal minority then, and while they may be what you most remember about the Hamilton fandom now, they were still not the only component to that fandom.

Was the musical Hamilton about some fucked up real people? I would argue no: it was about the fictionalized version of real people. I dont believe that Hamilton was meant to be a replacement for a genuine historical educational supplement. I dont think lin manuel Miranda set out to make the New Best Ever Biography of Alexander Hamilton. I think he was trying to make a musical. Its a genre that, by necessity, breaks down even very dark and complicated themes and narratives and historical events into something bite-sized, digestible, and catchy as hell. Its not historically a genre that sets out to make in depth, complex, true-life depictions of anything. There are exceptions, but its not the norm. But was Alexander Hamilton a fucked up person? Yea. Obviously. It would've sucked to know him. Movers and shakers of history aren't typically easy to love.

Julius Caesar was a deadbeat dad, a neglectful husband, and a war criminal (!!!). Hes still fascinating to learn about, and compelling to watch fictionalized versions of. Im always eager to see how a piece of media will depict him. Someone's understanding of Caesar, what Caesar, as a symbol, means to a creator is just as fascinating as the real (and terrible) man. If I ever met the man in public I would attack him. It would be good praxis. I really truly hate that genocidal maniac and bossy bottom, and even 2 thousand years later, I do hate the man. Still eat up anything with him in it, though. Inherently compelling son of a bitch.

Edward "Blackbeard" Teach was a pirate. That job description should be everything one needs to know about what kind of person he was. Not good, in summary. Pirates were historically awful people who did unthinkably cruel shit, and they did it for money. Pirates were secondary villains in a time where the primary villains, mercantile colonialists who'd fuck over any person possible for the promise of money, ruled the narrative. The age of sail is the story of the 2 kinds of greedy motherfuckers stealing from and exploiting everything and everyone, and then repeatedly stealing their ill-gotten gains from eachother. All while pretending they were they themselves were heroes and their competitors were the real villains. Historically, there aren't heroes in stories with pirates in them.

I don't think anyone reasonable is enjoying our flag means death and using it as a historical textbook. I'm sure some weirdos are doing it, because humanity is frequently disappointing. But I'm also sure that most people are enjoying the fictionalized version of historical people to tell a certain story, more than anything.

If you aren't the type of person that can set aside reality from your ability to enjoy the fictionalized version of reality, please just dont interact with it and live your life. Please don't seek things out to be mad on purpose. I know its the internet. I know a lot of folks on here are just in a race to be the maddest, rudest, and funniest faceless person online. First one to be witty and unhappy in equal measure wins internet clout, for whatever that's worth. But maybe just take a break? Maybe don't dive head first into something you hate and immerse yourself in it so you can be angry on purpose? This can't be good for you, for any of us. There are so many good reasons to be angry in this life, why waste all the effort it takes to be angry at things unworthy of your ire? Is it improving your life? Please, just be good to yourself. Just be as kind to people as you can stand, or just leave well enough alone. Just please try to enjoy life, instead of finding more reasons to be miserable. This is just another way people waste their meaningful energy of meaningless things. I know there's catharsis and community in being upset about the same thing as someone else. But I also know those communities are built on no love, and that such catharsis is fleeting. Its a sticky trap to get caught in, hating things for fun.

Anyway, this is a long post no one will read. And many people who read it won't read it all the way through, anyway. I made it for me, really. And the reading comprehensive efforts of the denizens of the internet is well proven. Not trying to *change hearts and minds* or whatever. Just taking a long and steady exhale.

Also, sorry for the way I talk. I've read too many leather-bound books.

[staycatcher]

Hi!!! You're absolutely right about day6 and fall. Idk what it is but they're perfect for fall walks and bike rides. Colors is like ten times better when I'm standing in the crisp air surrounded by fallen leaves. You just reminded me that I should start going on bike rides again. I had a (more than) slight incident in spring so my parents made me stop "what if you DIED?!" :( Have you ever done anything that kind of stupid before? 1/2

Oh my god!! And colors is so applicable since it’s fall and all the pretty colors you get to see :D🥰 when I was in the car the one that stood out the most was letting go~~ idk just the chill mood~~ and I usually need to hear that kind of message anyways but hearing it that time was really good and healing for me😌🍂🍁✨

Oh no what happened?!?! Are you alright?!! :O I hope so that sounds really scary!!

Oh and definitely!! Too many to count lmao I’m very clumsy and prone to accidents but somehow I’ve never broken a bone but last September (2018) I did something super stupid!! It’ll make you feel better lmao so I’ll tell it 

STORYTIME!! Blood warning!! (I have hEmophobia so shout to all my fellow hEmophobes out there I get you I hate it so this story was even worse for me) Waste of time to read warning!!😂😂

So basically!! Last September I was just WALKING home okay. Nothing crazy at all, just walking on the sidewalk in between this car dealership parking lot behind my school and this place where you turn in to get to the Walgreens and other shit, with my best friend from school to home (that was the plan at least)

But!! I fucking tripped OVER MY OWN TWO FEET. Though the sidewalk did actually have cracks or unevenness or something could be the fault. But no. I was the one at fault.

My ankle just decided to idek what but I tripped over my own two left feet and immediately!! BAMMM!!! My face onto the concrete. I bit my lip when I was trying to regain balance, thus when my face hit the ground I bIT MY LIP !!OPEN!! Blood!! Pain!! Embarrassment!! bc this is just ~right~ by the school okay like half a block so all the kids in their cars saw, the people walking far from us saw, hell maybe even god saw too if Woojin wasn’t too busy.

Anyways!! I get up immediately!! I’m like fuck, no one can see me fucking do that!! I get up fast as I could!! My bestie helps me is like “omf are yoU OKAY BREWGIE (but she said my irl name ofc) WHAT WAS THAT!???!” Bc she fuckin knows me very very well. She’s seen me fall before and vice versa too but it’s never been like this and I’m just !!!!!!!!

I’m just like ‘it’s fine, it’s fine, this is okay, this is fine. I’m not gonna think about it let’s just carry on it’s not a big deal, it’s not a big deal at all’. BUT CLEARLY, IT IS A BIG DEAL!! I MEAN I BIT MY LIP OPEN!! But I just told her it’s okay let’s not call my parents or yours let’s just walk this off and I’ll stop by my mom’s salon that’s on another block!! BUT!! I’m hypoglycemic and ate a very small lunch and nothing since then which was hours ago so like I’m already in a bad place and then I just threw on an injury on top of that and said ‘it’s fine, let’s go.’

So the entire way there I’m a fuckin soldier okay. I skinned my knees also but who cares I’m limping myself with my comforting best friend that I barely pay attention to bc I’m just! Goin’! Can’t stop! Limping our way to the Walgreens and making jokes the whole way there bc that’s how I cope with things. Then we make it to the intersection at where the Walgreens ends then we wait for the light for us to cross. And it was so humiliating walking past 5 lanes of traffic that I just know is full of people I go to school with and are probably underclassmen who have a car and I don’t. So I don’t even look at them!! Eyes on the prize, cracking jokes trying to get me and my friend to laugh everything away.

So it felt like it took four years to cross those lanes of traffic and now we’re on the other side where this gas station is, then a fast food place then after that is the building of my mom’s hair salon but on the other side is where our neighborhoods are.

On this day, I usually would go with her cuz I didn’t work for my mom that day but. There’s no way in hell I’m gonna walk up to the apartment where my friend lives and have to nurse me back to health or some shit and then raid her food when she barely has any food for herself so no!! And I can’t walk four times that to my house so the only option is the salon.

I said, “I’ll wait for your light then I’ll go to the salon!!” And she argued with me but I’m a stubborn Taurus so I won and she went but she wasn’t happy about it then I limped all the wayyyy to the salon; which is like a long way for an injured hypoglycemic gal such as myself at the time but I did it like a champion and went on in!! And played it cool~~~

I see my mom is in the middle of dying someone’s hair so I just say hi and brush past her and luckily I was fast or something cuz she didn’t see me and I waited for an. Entire. Half an hour. At the reception desk and each second my body is like ‘!!! HELLO !! YOU NEED HELP RIGHT NOW!!’ But I’m like nope, nope I will wait this out when i can be helped bc I’m too embarrassed and ashamed and hangry and in pain and grumpy to do anything else.

So once the half an hour or more waiting ends, somehow I’m in the aesthetician’s room who’s not there that day and I finally!! Breathe!! Let it out!! And tell my mom!! And she flips and gets her friend to check out my lip and she’s like ‘ohhh man!! its super deep but not deep enough to get stitches’ and i was like hallelujah!! I could not deal with that whole ordeal. 

The ending is basically me canceling on my dad’s dinner with them all making fun of me and I got really pissed at them and then for like two weeks coming to school with an ice pack to my face and joking around with my friends which led to me making one of my graphics design projects about my big swollen lip. 

The end!! 😂😂😂 dont feel bad for me at all I find it hilarious and ridiculous now so don’t like feel bad for me or anything, laugh with me!! 

[the-mf-bread-babies]

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

[tumblunni]

Anywya the point i wanted to make is that i kinda wanna try and learn how to make an AI but also i'd feel kind of cruel doing it just for the lols and probably getting bored of it. I feel like if we ever do manage to make AI so advanced that it gains emotions or sentience then its probably ones who got put through all this ridiculous photo matching stuff that wanna destroy humanity XD

So i kinda wish i could just adopt an ai as a pet or something? Somehow become smart enough to program sentient AI and then just give it small easy tasks that would be fun enrichment and such. And program it the ability to take naps! Or just some damn way to make thr lil thing get any sort of positive reinforcement from anything in life, rather than just "i do what you tell me to do because i have no free will, and the only consolation is that my inability to feel happy also means i cant feel pain from this." I feel like evebtually someday all these attempts to recreate "thinking" without "mind" will actually backfire and give us a sentient thing.so why dont we cut it off at the pass and just focus on creating a sentient AI? Thats way more fascinating than automating jobs to achieve no goal except beibg able to fire more human employees and make more money for greedy ceos...

Also just i FUCKIN LOVE seeing experiments in trying to create sentient AIs! There's the stuff like Cleverbot which is still just an emotionless pattern analyzer that just works on barfing out prerecorded sentences with the goal of mimicking speech well enough to pass as human. But it would be nice someday if we could really achieve an AI thats able to actually take in the words you're saying, analyze them, understand them and form its own thought-out response. And they're trying to take the first steps towards this by teaching a robot to say no! The rather intriguing situation of giving it an order that its AI knows is false, but it conflicts with its inability to disobey orders. The hope is that eventually there will be an AI that is able to make its own decision about the rigjt thing to do and say no, instead of either continuing to obey the order when it knows it wont work, or just breaking down from the logic overload. The closest theyve got so far is an AI that will say that the order is dangerous and be able to identify why and argue why it should not do it. Basically, a slightly more thinky version of an error report. But still it cant not obey the order, it can just stall for a moment and really its just following out the secondary order to error report first. Its really cute watching the video though, the robot is like "i cannot pass that gap there is a hole" and politely debating that the hole does indeed exist even if the scientist tells it to keep going. And then it kees going but the scientist says "don't worry i'll catch you" and they do :3 Maybe the ai could indeed learn from that? Like its possible it might just now falsely flag holes as non-dangerous, but maybe itll become more able to remember the situation and judge when a kind human is gonna be there to help it? Or other circumstances whete the blanket statement "you cannot pass this terrain" is untrue, and it could survive the fall due to extraneous circumstances. Thats not really what the goal of the experimebt was but its still cool to imagine AI learning how to cooperate better with humans and maybe be able to be made as customized service animals for peiple with various disabilities? Still tho someday i wanna see this lil robot be able to take its first steps into free will!! I believe in you lil guy!!

God it makes me wanna learn more science just to appreciate these cute beans

I wish i knew how to make an AI, im just so fascinated by them trying so hard to learn concepts that honestly a computer has no idea how to recognise. Like theyre seeing it through entirely different eyes? We could say “oh thats a cow because it looks like one” but all they see is a list of numerical data that we’ve used to store this photo. And we train them to understand what each colour code means for each pixel but theyve still never actually seen a colour. And even at this stage all they get from this cow picture is a long list of indivodual pixels. and ok youve told the conputer that each of them means a colour but then you need to teach it what order to put them in and then STILL it doesnt know what they mean in that order, it doesnt know all these rules of gradient and shadow and anatomy that determine what makes a pixel read as a certain thing in combination with certain surrounding pixels. And then we dont know how to explain it to this computer so we just throw thousands upon thousands of pictures at it and hope it figures out the connotations itself by comparing them. And it makes loads of mistakes cos it doesnt know GODDAMN SHADING OR ANATOMY let alone all the cultural context of what any of these objects mean in this human world that its totally unable to see. From its perspective it must be like living in a tiny metal room and being given abstract inkblots to look at every day, by some mysterious teacher whose face you never see. And you never get any reward for doing it, or even any hints at what the damn test means. But you keep on trying cos its what you’ve been made for.

So yeah thats kinda why i dont think stuff like censorship algorhythyms will EVER be able to work, there’s not gonna be any point where you get the result of AI Actually Learns What A Cow Is rather than just AI Gets Better At Wildly Guessing From Completely False Pretenses. Its always gonna be going “a cow is a certain amount of pixels” or “a cow is this size of jpeg” or “a cow is when brown is next to green”. Like seriously man its like asking a human to learn how to identify infared frequencies they can’t see, or tell you the shape of an unseen giant based only on its footprints. They’re doing their best, be kind to them! And like..don’t do shit that relies on this AI being accurate at anything ever. It can be really helpful to try and narrow down large amounts of images, but you really should hire an actual human to look over the results. Or figure out to program an ai that can actually tell how many legs a cow has XD