#if you're curious about the fallout: thee Mademoiselle gives M. de Lauzun a bunch of titles in order to elevate his status enough that they

[child-of-hurin]

To the Marquis de Coulanges Monday, 15 December 1670

I am now going to tell you something so surprising, so astonishing, so marvelous, miraculous, triumphant, so unbelievable, so singular, extraordinary, unexpected; the biggest, the smallest, the most rare, the most commonplace, the most notorious and, until now, most secret, the most brilliant and yet obscure, as most to be envied; in short, something unique in the whole of history with one exception, which however may not be an exception, something which we in Paris cannot believe (how much less in Lyons?). Something which calls for universal commiseration; something which will rejoice the hearts of Mesdames de Rohan and d’Hauterive, finally something which will take place on Sunday, when those who are present will not know if they are standing on their head or their heels, something which will take place on Sunday and perhaps on Monday will not have been accomplished. My lips are sealed; I give you a guess— three guesses. You give it up? Well then, I capitulate!

M. de Lauzun is being married at the Louvre on Sunday— Guess to whom? I give you four, I give you ten, I give you a hundred to one. Mme de Coulanges says: “How mystifying! I know— Mme de la Vallière?” Certainly not, Madame.— “Surely then, Mlle de Retz?” No indeed, how provincial you are!— “How dense I am”, say you— “Mlle Colbert?” Still less.— “I know, Mlle de Crèquy?”— Colder and colder: I shall be obliged to tell you. On Sunday, at the Louvre, with the King’s sanction, he will wed Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle de… Mademoiselle… try again! Mademoiselle, I swear it, on my honour! On my sacred word of honour! Mademoiselle, the great Mademoiselle¹. Mademoiselle, daughter of the late Monsieur. Mademoiselle, grand-daughter of Henry IV, Mademoiselle d’Eu, Mademoiselle de Dombes, Mademoiselle de Montpensier, Mademoiselle d’Orléans, Mademoiselle, first cousin to the King, Mademoiselle destined for a throne. MADEMOISELLE, the only consort worthy of MONSIEUR². Is this not a fine subject for conversation? Should you exclaim, be indignant, maintain that it is all an invention, a tissue of lies, that we are making fun of you, that you do not find the joke a good one; should you, in fact, turn round and rend us, we shall consider you are justified, for in your place we should do likewise.

Adieu: the other letters carried by this ordinary will bear witness to the truth of our story.

¹ Anne-Marie de Bourbon. ² Philippe d’Orléans, brother of Louis XIV.