#if you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee

[krow-of-the-void]

*DRAMATIC INHALE*

WE'VE GOT NEVER BETTERED BARGAINS

WE'VE GOT DEALS YOU WON'T BELIEVE

WE CAN TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU REALISE WHAT YOU NEED

IF YOU'LL PARDON US THE JARGON

HERE'S OUR DARKNER GUARANTEE

WE TAKE CASH OR CARD OR CREDIT, BUT WE'LL TAKE YOUR HEART FOR FREE-

reblog w the song lyrics in your head NOW. either stuck in yr head or what yr listening to

[everysongineverykey]

Prove it! Sing it right now without checking.

WOAH! if it isn't a LIGHT-NER! HEY H-H-HEY HEY! LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE all alone on a late night? ALL YOUR FRIENDS, Abandoned you for the slime YOU ARE? SALES, GONE DOWN THE [[drain! drain!]]? LIVING IN A GODD*MN GARBAGE CAN?? NYAHAHAHAHA! FRIEND, EITHER YOU'RE CLOSING YOUR EYES TO [Savings!] YOU DO NOT WISH TO ACKNOWLEDGE, OR YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF THE CALIBRE OF [Discounts!] INDICATED BY THE PRESENCE OF A [HeartShapedObject] IN YOUR COMMUNITY!

HEY, KID, LOOK AT YOU! RIGHT TIME! RIGHT PLACE! RIIIIPE FOR THE PICKING!RIGHT MONEY IN YOUR POCKET YOU'RE SO LUCKY VERY LUCKY OH SO VERY VERY LUCKY THAT YOU GET TO BE INVESTING IN THIS VERY SPECIAL PRODUCT FROM EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE numberoneratedsalesman! CIRCA1997 MIGHTY PROUD TO SAY IT! MIIIGHTY PROUD TO SAY IT YES I'M MIGHTYPROUDTOSAYIT YES SIR!

DON'TCHA WANNA HAVE A LITTLE FUN LITTLE SPONGE LITTLE SOMETHING TO PLUCK YOU FROM THE GLUM HUMDRUM LIVE COMFORTABLY (CAPITAL AT RISK) YUM YUM! LISTEN UP FORTHEOFFERONLYCOMESJUSTONCE HEY CHUM! I CAN SEE YOU'RE HAVING VIOLENT THOUGHTS BUT DON'TCHA WANNA WANNA BE A BE A BIG SHOT! INQUIRE TODAY WHILE THE SECRET'S IN STOCK! ALL YA GOTTA DO IS [[Hyperlink Blocked]]...

I used to be nothing but the e-mail guy, now i'm the [[IT BURNS! OW! STOP! STOP! HELP ME! IT BURNS!]] guy! NYAHAHAHAHA We've got never bettered bargains we've got deals you won't believe we can tell you what you want before you realize what you need if you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee we take cash or card or credit but we'll take your heart for free...

ARE YOU FEELING DOWN? HAVE YOU LOST CONTROL? IS YOUR LIFE A MESS? DO YOUR FRIENDS DESPISE YOU? WELL HERE'S one weird trick discovered by a mom! and i'm sure NUMBER FIVE WILL SURPRISE YOU! ALL YOU'VE EVER DREAMED OF, SHINING, GLISTENING, GOTTA BUCKLE UP, GRAB LIFE BY THE [Silly Strings!] YOU CAN HAVE IT YOU CAN HAVE IT SAY THE WORD IT'S YOURS- NYAHAHA! i wasn't listening :]

see it says just here right here last year on the third of the fourth at five-oh-six you searchedcatpicsonline well that's just fine! ~Moist Delicious Cookies~ little tippy tap kitty catalyst now we have a list and we'll guess what every habit is:

wanna buy a cat flap, cat food, catchup, catamaran you'll be categorically catatonic at the catalogue of categories i have at my hands [A cavalcade of all your favorite brands!] AN ADVERTISM SCHISM CATACLYSM [Cash on demand!] YOU'D BETTER CANCEL YOUR PLANS! CASH FOR THE CRACKERS AND THE PICKLES AND THE FLYPAPER WANNA BUY A CAT PLUSH PLUSH TOY TOY BOX BOX WINE WHY WON'T MIKE JUST CALL ME BACK-GAMMON HAMANDEGGS EGG CHAIR CHAIR BED BED BATH BATH SPONGE SPONGE WHO HATES HIS FOURDOLLARNINETYNINE LIFE-BOAT BOAT SHOE SHOE STRING STRING BEAN BEAN BAG BAGPIPE PIPE BOMB BOMBER JACKET JACKDAW DOORSTOP STOP NO PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY FURNITURE- STOPWATCH WATCHDOG DOG COLLAR COLORADO ADDERAL ADS ARE ALL SEEPING PING PONG PONCHOS CHOKE CHAINS CHAINSAWS SWORDFISH SHISH-KEBAB BOBCAT- DO YOU WANT A CAT OR NOT???

WELL YOU WANNA BE A BIG SHOT DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU WANNA BE THE NEXTBIGTHING! YOU CAN DO IT YES IT'S TRUE IT'S REALLY TRUE THERE'S NOTHING TO IT I CAN PROVE IT HEAR THE REGISTERS RING! RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING-

YOU'RE KIDDING. IT'S FOR YOU.

Wanna know a secret...?

[[Hyperlink Blocked]]

YOU TOO CAN HAVE A Communion! WITH NYAYAHAHAAA! SOON I'LL EVEN SURPASS THAT DAMNED [[ClownAroundTown!]]

We've got never bettered bargains we've got deals you won't believe we can tell you what you want before you realize what you need if you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee we take cash or card or credit but we'll take your heart for freeeee-

HOLY CUNGADERO THERE YOU FUNKY LITTLE WORM YOU SEEM UNAWARE OF ALL THE MONEY YOU COULD EARN IF YOU WANNA GET THE GOLD WELL THERE IS STUFF YOU GOTTA LEARN MILK THE HUMANS OF THEIR KINDNESS THEN THERE'S BUTTER TO BE CHURNED, YOU WANT. IT. NEED. IT. DON'T. YOU. SEE? BUUUT IF YA WANNA MAKE YOUR SCREEN GREEN, YOU'RE GONNA NEED MY KROMER KEY-

AND WE GOT TROUBLE, MY FRIEND WHADDAYA TALK RIGHT HERE IN CYBER CITY! SEE I USED TO BE A [Top-notch!] [Big Shot!] BEST DEALS! BEST WHEELS! BEST [Best prices in the tri-state area!] BUT YOU CAN GET IT BACK! NYAHAHA YES YOU CAN! ALL YA GOTTA DO IS FOLLOW THROUGH MY [[Twelve-step plan!]] BIGGER, BIGGER, BETTER LIKE THE TELEPHONE WAS TELLING MEYOU GOTTA KNOW THE TERRITORY! SPEND A HAND, LEND A GRAND-

WHO'S GONNA PATRONIZE AN ITTY BITTY TWO-BY-FOUR KINDA STORE ANYMORE? GOTTA GO! GOTTA GET! GOTTA GET ON AND GO! MAKE A DEAL! [[Big deal!]] [[High score!]] OUR STORE IS CLOSINGHOT TIP DROP SHIPPING FOUR THREE TWO ONE NOT SKIPPING OFFERS WIRED INTO YOUR INBOX SWING BY THE GIFT SHOP THINK OF THE [[Big shot!]] ALL THIS AND MORE, CLICK [[Hyperlink Blocked]]

...can anyone hear me? help...

...mike...

...mike?

hahah!

We've got never bettered bargains we've got deals you won't believe we can tell you what you want before you realize what you need if you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee we take cash or card or credit but we'll take your heart for freeeee-

[[INSURANCE!]] KNOW THAT I'M THE BESTINPOLICY! HONESTLY! DO YA WANNA END IN POVERTY? BUDDY I'M THE ONE TO HELP INVEST IT PROPERLY! I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT EXTENDED WARRANTY!!! IT'S A SUPER BUMPER LIQUIDATOR LAST CHANCE FIRST DAY HALF PRICE FIRE SALE LIKE NEVER BEFORE! WHEN IT'S THERE TO EXPLORE! WHEN YOU STEP IN THE DOOR THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL STORE-

ButTheFactIsEverybody'sGottaHaveItGottaHaveItThosWhoHaveItReallyHaveItIfYouHaven'tWellYou'veHadItCouldn'tHackItNowTheHaven'tsHaven'tHadItAndTheHavesAreVeryGladIt'sJustTheHaven'tsThatAreLackingWhatThey'reHaving! NOW THE ADS HAVE GOT THE TRAFFIC AND WE'VE GRABBED YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC SO YOU'RE PACKING UP YOUR BASKET CAUSE YOUR DAD HAS GOTTA HAVE IT (He'll be sad if you don't wrap it with a tag! It'll be tragic!) SO YOU'RE MANICALLY GRABBING AT THE SHELVES AMID THE PANIC, SEEMS THAT EVERYBODY HAS IT, MAN, YOU REALLY GOTTA HAVE IT, SO YOU GET IT, YOU'RE ECSTATIC, BUT A CRACKLE IN THE STATIC AND THE IT IS OUT OF FASHION, JUST A FAD, A PIECE OF PLASTIC, SO YOU TRASH IT AND YOU GET BACK IN YOUR CAR CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE IT AndTheFactIsEverybody'sGottaHaveItGottaHaveItThosWhoHaveItReallyHaveItIfYouHaven'tWellYou'veHadItCouldn'tHackItNowTheHaven'tsHaven'tHadItAndTheHavesAreVeryGladIt's, HOCHI MAMA, WHAT A MOUTHFUL!

IN THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF Being afraid! THERE AIN'T NOTHING TO BE SCARED OF TIL THERE'S FEES TO BE PAID! THERE'S DEALS TO BE MADE WITH [[Seasonal Savings!]] REGIONAL RATINGS ARE LETHALLY FADING, SCREAMING AND RAVING, CEASELESS APPRAISING- Neat little plate with a needless engraving! LEGALLY GREY BUT SWEET WITH THE PHRASING, FEET IN THE GRAVE BUT GLEEFULLY TRADING!

FEEDING THE CRAVINGS, EAT, LITTLE PLAYTHING- Deals so good I'll $!#& myself! FEEDING THE CRAVINGS, EAT, LITTLE PLAYTHING- DOWN TO THE CRACKER BARREL, PICKLE BARREL, MILK PAN FEEDING THE CRAVINGS, EAT, LITTLE PLAYTHING- I can feel that Smooth Taste already! FEEDING THE CRAVINGS, EAT, LITTLE PLAYTHING...

[[Hyperlink Blocked]]

[skythealmighty]

We've got never bettered bargains

We've got deals you won't believe!

We can tell you what you want before you tell us what you need!

If you'll pardon us the jargon, here's our Darkner guarantee:

We'll take cash or card or credit but we'll take your heart for free!

WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS AD INFINITUM /POS

THE STUPENDIUM HELLO HOW LONG DID THAT SONG FUCKING TAKE