#if you see any typos and/or inconsistencies no you didn't there was only so much research i could do when i was writing this

[calenhads]

collpase + catalina!!

21. collapse + catalina hawke

words: 1,251 warnings: canon-typical blood, violence, and presence of corpses

Though the dust was settling thickly over the ever-damp streets of Darktown, Catalina found that her heart could not — would not — do the same. It rattled like a wild thing inside her chest, desperately tearing at the bars of her ribs as if it might break free. Around the edges of her vision, the walls blurred with a thick fog. Likely the chokedamp that writhed and gathered in the darkest corners of this fucking maze. She scoffed, and tasted blood with it. Faintly, she remembered how it had sprayed from a fatal wound, her sword cleaved several inches deep into the meat of that Carta dwarf’s shoulder. Her mouth must have been hanging open, gasping for a breath or crying out in fury. Nose wrinkling, she spat copper-tinged and thick into the dirt at her feet. It wasn’t as if it wouldn’t blend right into the already-bloodied earth. "Oh, Bethy,” she began under her breath, kicking at a corpse petulantly, “this was easier when you could just burn them for me. Now I have to own a flint.” Catalina drew the aforementioned flint and steel from the pouch at her hip, ignoring how her whole body twinged at the motion. A hot bath later would sort that right out, if she could convince Bodahn to help her dredge up the water for it. It was easy enough to light up the pile, crouching low to the ground until the spark grew into a polite blaze, held at bay by the damp walls and the chokedamp that clung to them. Better to burn the bodies than to let them fester in this place.

She might have done so, once upon a time, before Anders and his steady insistence. Rot wrought disease in all places, even more so among the lowest of the low, trapped here away from the sun. It was assuredly selfish, but if Catalina could limit the visitors to Anders’ clinic, she would. Maybe then he would come home more nights than not.  A few long moments later, when she planted her hands steadily on her knees and pushed herself upright, a groan gusted past her lips. It slipped through her gritted teeth, unexpected and bright in the recesses of the Undercity. Her body ached. Dulled edges of pain grew sharp, whetted by the drain of adrenaline from her bones. Distantly, Catalina realized her side was too warm under her armor, that the fog clinging to the edge of her vision was not only gathered in the dark corners of the street. When she pressed a tentative hand to her ribs, it came back wet and warm — fresh then. “That’s not good,” she breathed through a weak chuckle, a sardonic curl to her lips. Anders would have her head this time, for sure.  Anders. Andersandersandersandersandersanders.  He would be able to help. He would give her an earful first for being so damn reckless, for going out alone, for being a fool with a god-complex. But he would help even as he grumbled, and he would press his lips to her forehead as his hand rested gentle and warm and glowing with magic across the span of her wound.  Catalina pressed her own hand to the steadily-bleeding wound at her side, and imagined it was his. Thinner, but with longer fingers, and steadier than her own. And she walked onward, disguising the pained limp of her gait, the easy target she would make so far away from home. It helped, too, that her hair remained matted with blood not her own, smeared where she had tried and failed to wipe her face clean. That her armor clanked forebodingly with every labored step.  As she walked, her mind wandered. Easier to think of bowls of milk left out for the strays and a lantern set out in the creeping darkness than to let her mind get caught on the jagged edges of torn skin. She was almost like a stray herself, she thought. Always showing up on his doorstep with a sad look about her. A dry laugh rumbled in her chest like a prayer, turning into a wet cough and a wince as she gripped more tightly at her side.  Blood bubbled up between her fingers, welling up and over and dripping into the dirt. It was stupid of her to leave such an obvious trail, but her mind was full of golden hair and golden eyes. Long, thin fingers with bony knuckles that poked and prodded and fit between her own. And it was growing darker around the edges, until all she had was a slipping hold on her side and the faint awareness of heavy steps plodding on. A lantern glowed faintly above, wavering like a mirage. Real? Catalina couldn’t tell, not with how her ears were ringing and her eyes refused to focus. They slid from brown-tinged wall to brown-tinged wall until she was dizzy with it, feet shuffling through the dust and dirt and waste without lifting up. She feared she might lose it entirely.

There was a door in front of her.  That hadn’t been there before, had it? Catalina didn’t remember seeing it. She would have remembered seeing it. She liked this door.  It was easy enough to sag against the doorframe, her pauldron connecting heavily with the wood. Later, there would be a dent left behind, a reminder that they had lived and loved and survived in this place. But now there was only the dull metallic edge digging into an old, dry plank.  After a pause — only a moment, but feeling so much longer for the way her vision blurred and her head swam — the door creaked open. A beam of golden light from the lantern above her head slipped through the crack, illuminating a man peering out. For a brief, kismet moment her vision focused and all that mattered was him. Anders.  “Hawke?” he asked, brows pinched in worry and eyes narrowed in strain against the blue lines that threatened to overtake them.  Unable to help herself, Catalina grinned at him, baring bloodied teeth as she leaned more heavily against the doorway. “Miss me?” she teased, voice slurring, before she collapsed forward and into him.  Anders grunted under the sudden weight, the breath knocked from his lungs even as his arms reflexively wrapped around her middle to support her.  “I missed you,” she admitted quietly, morose now as she tucked her nose into the space between his feathered cape and his neck, sighing heavily. He was so warm like this, comfortable even through the clinical scent of antiseptic and the heavier shroud of putrefaction that lay over him. She knew she smelled the same. Life and Death always had a funny way of taking after one another. “I know, dear. I missed you too.” The blue light had faded now into nothingness. Catalina sighed into the crook of his neck in answer, some of the lingering tension draining out her body. His hand, slender and clever, swept soothingly over her side and in its wake was the warm tingle of magic knitting her skin back together.  “Come, let’s get you to bed,” he murmured, walking her towards one of the empty cots with all the professionalism any man could muster with a grown woman clinging to him like a burr. Catalina only nodded, stepping weakly in time with him as if they were dancing a waltz. They were certainly close enough to have been. “We’ll talk in the morning. Now sleep, Lina.”

[lemonhemlock]

what are they doiiiing, man

The more I believed I wasn't a book puritist, the more this show is trying to make me one because what are they doing?

Everything is inconsistent from episode to episodo and from season to season, like they're not even trying to make it believable

The only good thing is fr Daemon plot and this does shock me because I wouldn't have believed it before lol

And they're kind of making me feel angry about the green (alicent the most, because what are you doiiing? Not even on a book!alicent point, but from the same shows, she is always something different and it's humiliating really)

Idk, i try to take all with a light heart but... it's still able to make me quite mad

And sorry for all the typos and errors, I'm in a rush dhsjal

i mean it's a really disappointing season

i've said it before in my critiques, we can argue all day about characterisation (maybe some actually see aemond as an emotionless psycho, maybe some actually buy that alicent would sell out her own sons for rhaenyra), but there is little to no buildup for these HUGE changes and they don't even make sense in the context of the story. the greens are so, so emotionally flat and one-note melancholy with stunted dynamics. if they don't give a shit about each other, why and even HOW could the audience? where is the tragedy? ok, you want to make those changes from the books and create completely different versions of these characters: you have to make me believe it, man. you have to put in the work.

but these writers don't even understand the politics of the world they are inhabiting. they're not fixing any plot holes from the books, they're creating more. how the heck is house hightower JUST fine with having TWO members of their family dismissed in quick succession from the small council? who is financing this war? uncle hobert should be writing angry letters to aemond demanding appropriate reparations or else the hightower armies go back to oldtown. if they are not going to advance their own interests further as a house, why are they fighting this pointless war? tyland lannister should have given aemond some lip back for his attitude since house lannister has resources (i.e. armies, ships and gold) that aemond needs. these people have power! we've already seen the riverlords take no shit from daemon and he has a dragon too!

i've said this already to our dear @stannisfactions, so i'm gonna repeat myself here, but if alicent somehow became convinced that aemond was so off the rails he was going to get helaena killed................ there are ways around that that DON'T involve selling out your entire family to rhaenyra (certainly your male relatives, even the ones who didn't do a damn thing to you, like your brother, your uncle, your cousins, YOUR OTHER SON (THE NICE ONE), who are only following YOUR lead at the end of the day, because YOU put aegon on the throne and told them to mobilize forces and declare for him and now rhaenyra will see them all as traitors.

has everyone forgotten how to stage a castle coup? i know vhagar is big and scary, but she's parked way outside KL and aemond is just one man who was NOT shown to hustle for his own connections and personal network of friends. smack him in the damn head and throw his ass in jail!! tell everyone else the now-conscious KING aegon told you to! alicent was ruling queen for many years, it makes no sense for her not to have her own resources and courtiers who could help her do this.

can you imagine joffrey baratheon, surrounded by lannister guards loyal to and paid by tywin lannister, whose war is financed by the lannisters, dismissing tywin or cersei (or even tyrion) from his small council? are you laughing yet? why doesn't alicent have her own private army of hightower guards loyal to HER? unless you want (and need) her to be the stupidest person alive so that you can write your rhaenicent fanfic 🤌

they want to humiliate alicent so much to „punish” her for ~choosing the patriarchy~ instead of her bff rhaenyra and girl power. it's such an overdone storyline. other shows, books, media have done it to death, why is it in my dragon show, too? she can't have been a competent regent for viserys and not know how to do these things or not have acquired the resources to do them if necessary. how can she be both competent and incompetent when the plot requires it? it's giving wanting to still have the cake after eating it and throwing it into outer space

[goldentigerfestival]

So fun fact I learned (recently, unfortunately LOL) is that if you have the game on Steam, you can actually change the text to full JP. If you don't have it on Steam I don't know that it's a possibility, but if you do have it on Steam, you can go into the game properties and select the language you want. Other than that I've used YouTube playthroughs when I needed to grab stuff quick when I want clips/screenshots, or I'll use Hyouta when I need a line really quick.

The volume in the English version is definitely an issue, I have no idea what happened with the studio volume when they recorded new stuff, but the new skits/lines in particular have terrible volume. I only played DE in English one time and it was... a very sub par experience for several reasons (including Yuri, Don and Leblanc having their voice actors changing mid-dialogue and/or in different scenes, plus the volume, plus the acting largely with Grant for Yuri being completely flat and lacking emotion...). The DE had more issues than the 360 version too, because there's that stuff plus like, the dialogue inconsistencies because they didn't go back and fix the old dialogue to match new content, and they didn't fix any of the old typos or uh, very funny sounding English at some parts.

You did reblog that! I have a whole post in itself about the Nordopolica scene too, that I linked in the post that covered that section of the game. But yeah, the thing that always got me most about Yuri in the dub is that... the translators are good? They have a lot of stuff that's pretty much 1:1 and there are a few human errors from time to time (such as subject matter mishaps), but overall the translation is actually generally accurate. That's why I can tell when specifically Yuri's lines get changed that it's intentional, because it only happens to him, and it's a lot worse when he's talking to Flynn (though Flynn also puts himself down/is harsher toward himself in the localization as well, which is another huge point against Flynn by the narrative itself in the west). It's even worse when him and Flynn aren't getting along, and they ramp it up and make it sound like Flynn is some antagonist or villain.

Nordopolica in particular as a scene isn't like... oh no Flynn's a bad guy now. It's like, oh no our ally is in trouble and we need to get him back. I hate when I see people cheer Yuri on for this one sided verbal beatdown against Flynn because it's not supposed to come off that way in the original? Yuri is angry at Nordopolica and Yormgen, but at Nordopolica he's also hurting. He's angry, but he's worried, heartbroken, and upset. In Yormgen, he's angry, but he doesn't just take it all out on Flynn and act like that most of the way through. He cools off pretty quick, in part because he asked Flynn to explain himself, Flynn did, Flynn felt guilty about it, and that was enough for Yuri to cool off and not press him further. He also spoke with genuine relief that Flynn was himself again at the end of that conversation, which in the dub felt... kinda flat to me?

The cat got your tongue part in Nordopolica makes me absolutely reel though, because the impression changes from "god please just say something, anything, talk to me, what the hell is going on" to "oh what you can't say anything back bc I'm right?". The whole vibe is just... eugh.

Ironically enough in regard to your original post here, I always feel like it's Flynn who gets bullied in the dub and it makes me so uncomfortable sometimes lol. Like damn I would not wanna be Flynn in the dub.

I do hope that maybe the voice direction in the studio was fixed to some degree for the remaster, because yeah, it was ten years later, and I imagine different people were working there, maybe minds had changed about how to convey stuff, etc. It's possible they actually paid attention to the original delivery and did what they could for the new stuff. I don't remember the DE English deliveries since like I mentioned, I only played DE in English once (and that was multiple playthroughs ago LOL), though I do hope something changed along the way. Given that even Higuchi (the general producer of the game) brought up localization inaccuracy due to lack of communication on Twitter some time ago, I can only hope things improved like he hoped they would.

In my perfect world, they'd re-release Vesperia in the west and re-dub Yuri and Flynn's stuff so it actually properly reflects the intent of the original, but alas I know I'm asking for too much. I just hate that it had to happen this way to one of the most popular games in the franchise and to one of the most popular characters in the franchise (i.e. Yuri and subsequently affecting Flynn). x.x

Flynn actually does that twice in Vesperia with pronouns! He starts with boku in front of Ioder, I believe when Ioder orders him to join Yuri's group to fight Alexei, and he corrects himself. Over time Flynn also naturally starts to use boku around Yuri's friends and relax more around them. My little boku boy! 😊

Yeah, my issues with the dub are 100 percent not because of things they can't translate. As a fan translator I know the struggles of trying to convey things that don't translate at all into English, so I don't blame them there. For me, that's also why tone is extremely important and why not changing dialogue matters so much. Things don't gotta be word for word identical, but Yuri's dialogue in particular loses its intent when changed, and when they don't change it and when they generally speaking translate it in the right general ballpark, they change his tone completely and thus still change the intent.

As a Fluri shipper where that ship is my go to for a fluffy and happy heart, that oasis scene was like, peak "I care too much about you to not scold you for this", not him being a jerk.

Also yeah, Flynn was angry about Ragou, even more so in JP. You can tell he was struggling to not do anything and Yuri could tell, so he warned him against it. Plus, Yuri doesn't want Flynn dirtying his hands and ruining his chances as a knight. Yuri knows he can dirty his own hands because he's got nothing going for him. He can do what Flynn wants to do and not risk losing any status or position or possible futures. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if Yuri wouldn't have done what he did if Flynn hadn't expressed so much anger. Like, I sometimes wonder if him seeing that Flynn was so angry about it was the final straw that pushed him to do it and had him make up his mind when he heard Flynn's explanations.

Really, I like to think (and half joke) Yuri couldn't be proven guilty in a court of law about Cumore because technically he didn't even touch Cumore. Cumore backed himself into that pit, and there were no witnesses to prove Yuri had done anything to him. ...But, you know, they wouldn't really care about evidence or innocence or anything anyway, because Yuri's a poor man criminal. Intent to kill? Shhhh, can't be proven, nobody heard it but the dead guy! And Yuri didn't literally use the words "I am going to kill you"! No evidence!

The murder is okay joke is like, yeah, it's a little haha funny the first time, but I feel like the way it's propped up in actual discussion also kinda takes away from the fact that... Yuri is very much extremely not okay with murder. Maybe I'll end up writing a separate post on this sometime because it's a Big Deal for me lol, but Yuri is extremely wracked with guilt over killing even the most vile of people. It weighs on him and destroys any self worth he may have even had at that point, which... was already dirt low. At the end of the game in the credits, you can see him visiting the spots where he committed those murders. He's extremely guilty about it and it weighs on him knowing he has to live the rest of his life with those mistakes. It proves Flynn right that he shouldn't have gone to those lengths, because it's eaten away at Yuri. It haunts him that he did those things. In Tales of the Rays, there's even this mention in Flynn's bio that Yuri tends to stare at his hands intently a lot, and Flynn will just go up and talk to him normally. It's literally a callback to how guilty Yuri feels about what he did and how it's damaged his self worth. I know it's a silly little harmless meme, but I think part of my issue is that most of the fandom actually seems to believe he thinks that way, when he only does it as a last resort and throughout the course of the game, never recovers from it. I get the support behind getting rid of such awful villains! I get that Yuri doing things we all wish could happen in real life feels good! But I think the general, at large, fandom perception of Yuri's own feelings on it has gotten largely lost in the "that's so cool" viewpoint.

...Did you see how on the Aselia wiki, Flynn's bio starts with "somewhat of an antagonist toward the beginning of the game"? I just. I lost my mind when I saw that. Because first of all, no. Second of all, at the beginning?! When he's literally letting Yuri and his group break into Ragou's mansion and do things illegally??? It's literally because of the attitude Yuri gives him in the dub that makes Flynn look like some antagonist, because the context in the beginning when you meet Flynn is 100 percent that he's an ally in a tough position, and your side helps him out by doing things in a way he can't.

Still losing my absolute mind about that line to this day. An antagonist is someone who is in some manner against and opposing the main character. Flynn is an ally. He had an oopsie in the middle of the game where he was starting to become that, but he course corrected quickly enough. I mean in the grand scheme of things? The only antagonistic behavior Flynn ever had was at Nordopolica. He admitted at Yormgen that he didn't realize the Weasand of Cados stuff was going on and that that was his fault, not because he specifically did it, but because he wasn't paying enough attention to his own subordinates, basically. Prior to that, the oasis was just "hey maybe don't do something that could get you killed or locked up for life maybe kinda sorta just a little".

I understand how people can ship things like, on the side I guess? and still hate a character in question, because I do have ships where I do like the dynamic but hate one of the characters, across any sort of media, really. BUT I do think if you really absolutely adore a ship and if you would sell your entire soul to it, you should prooobably not hate a character involved in that ship. But also, misconstruing canon events is part of the problem with poor Flynn. Most of the people I know/have talked to do love both characters, but I guess that's also because I don't really engage with instances where I see Flynn hate, so I don't really end up around people who don't like him.

I used to eyebrow raise at Yuri haters, but when I got older, understood more JP and yadda yadda... I can like, get it nowadays if people did look at English Yuri and hated him for his awful attitude. I would still advocate for him and be like, look he's much nicer and goofier in JP which is the source of the media and how the creators intended him to be! But like, if someone hated Yuri and their only experience was the dub, I can see why. With Flynn, if people hated him for other reasons, like sure, I can get that... but the reasons I always see are just because "cop guy" and "how dare you scold Yuri". It's never like... actual "here's an in depth reason I don't like this character based on actual facts".

Also, yeah, as a Fluri lover, I do hate the whole vibe of like... Flynn is a bad boyfriend/friend and shit. It's even worse because I engage and interact with the JP fandom on other socials, so going from the fandom portrayal of the two of them interacting in JP to the portrayal in the west is genuinely just jarring sometimes (whether it's memes, art, fic, what have you). It's not like, all bad on the west and I don't often see the abusive boyfriend dynamic, but the general portrayal of their interactions is definitely handled differently.

The thing is, writers/artists in the west are accurately portraying English Yuri, and that's part of what really highlights the fandom perception difference in their relationship for me. And I know it's nobody's fault in the west because that's what they were presented with and it's what they know, but that's exactly why I advocate so deeply for localization not changing intent, because then an entire audience has a totally different vibe. I just wish we all got to have the same experience.

I have this joke that JP Yuri would punch English Yuri in the face if he ever met him. It's a double joke, because it's the obvious plus the fact that Yuri just... really wants to punch something at all hours of the day and that's actually consistently retained across Vesperia media (a fact that got... completely removed in the English version... Wha'da'ya know...).

My theory in why people gravitate toward depressed mess Yuri and not daddy issues Flynn is that... Yuri in the dub is the "cool" one. Flynn is a more realistic take on the bad reactions someone has to something traumatizing in their life, which makes him less appealing for some because it's not an escape of sorts. Yuri is treated by the narrative itself as a cool and positive outlook on his behavior, when in actuality, if I had a friend treat me the way English Yuri treats Flynn, I'd be like okay you need to sit down and start talking to me about this attitude.

I totally get wanting to ignore when you don't like the common take on a character but that take is so popular. I've never really like... engaged on a wide spectrum with the Tales fandom at large until about a year ago. I was always like, on the outside edges of the fandom? With no centralized Tales accounts anywhere? I grew up with Tales, but I never really... interacted with people at large. But even like that, I've known about these Flynn opinions and wished I could just ignore them, but I can't really do that when it's common. Nowadays I don't really seek things out. I post what I post, and if people come to my blog and like my content, there's a good chance they already love Flynn, so it's this sort of... just let the people who share my opinions find me, and I'll meet like minded individuals without risking finding a lot of the stuff that upsets me.

No worries about not responding to everything! I do just... write a lot and I'm horrible at compressing my thoughts or using few words to express myself lol. I'm sad to see other fans have worsened your opinion of Yuri because it's the worst when people who love a character are the ones who make you not like them as much. Character purity really does suck most of the time and is almost always to the detriment of the character in question because it erases their human complexity. Yuri isn't perfect and he makes a lot of mistakes. I hope one day you can like him more again! At the very least, I'll in my corner patting his head when he makes his mistakes and letting him be human.

Maybe I'm due for a third replay of Vesperia, because I'm really not seeing how Flynn is a "bully" to Yuri in the first act or how he blames him for not being able to change things. Maybe it's cause a lot of us project onto these characters (ESPECIALLY Yuri) so they take Flynn calling Yuri out for not doing anything as a personal attack.

The truth is Flynn was getting shit done in the knights. He was working his way up. Yuri walked away from their shared dream - not Flynn. Naturally, there's going to be some bitterness between them at the start of the game and well into Act 1. Meanwhile, Yuri sat on his ass in the lower quarter because he didn't know what else to do. Yet he still got smarmy with Ioder and Estelle in Capua Torim when they wouldn't disclose information.

Imo, Flynn had every right to call Yuri out, and if we factor in their backgrounds pre-canon, it fits perfectly with his character. He's still got some lingering irritation at Yuri abandoning their dream.

Yeah, it sucks that Yuri had his hands tied because being a knight means sitting on your hands in the face of political corruption, but Flynn has a point. What has changed since Yuri quit? Yuri can't be throwing stones in glass castles and not expect Flynn to keep his mouth shut.

I know a lot of bias is because we see the game from Yuri's point of view, and (yeah, I'm gonna say it) some lines in localization definitely push Yuri to be more antagonistic towards Flynn than the original (refer to uh, Yormgen and Nordopolica for best examples). But I just don't think Flynn's as much of an asshole as people think he is at the start.

There's also the Mantaic scene where Flynn lectures Yuri about killing Cumore. Flynn didn't take action because Yuri's his friend, but you know if it were anyone else, he would've had them arrested immediately. People say this is hypocritical of Flynn cause he lectures Yuri, but give that scene a rewatch. It feels less "killing is bad" and more "don't kill ppl because that makes you a criminal, and criminals get put in the slammer." There are countless points in the game (DE at least) where Flynn urges Yuri to tell Ioder about his good deeds because he knows full well that will pardon his crimes of killing Ragou and Cumore.

I also am not of the opinion that these two are absolutely toxic for each other (which... okay) and should practice social distancing whenever they're in the vicinity together.

Flynn's got some screws loose, but being a "bully" to Yuri is not one of them.

[bakugouscentedcaramel]

Ah yes, the time has come.

It's time to get your pen and paper because class is in session!

There's plenty of things I could talk about and I pretty much covered the basics down below, but I'm more than willing to help y'all out with anything specific!

I have to preface that I'm not an English major by any means nor do I have any experience writing professionally, the things listed below are purely based on my opinions and submissions I have received.

Writing is forever a learning process, there really isn't a right way of writing but there are definitely some things that will hinder your readers. Here is a list that I compiled both with my own experiences as well as some user submitted issues when it comes to reading works:

•Big blocks of text

° Typos/wrong word usage

•Using the same words

°Too spaced out/not indented where needed

• Dialogue runs into normal sentences

° Speakers/POVs change without notice

• Inconsistencies, either in general or story inconsistencies

°Lack of description/Too much description

• Bland/Artificial actions/dialogue

° Misuse of punctuation/lack thereof

• Capitalization errors

° Long winded sentences

• Using italics for actions

° Confusing formating

• Changing in Tenses

° Using wrong tags/falsely advertising (ex. Reader x Blank should have Y/N, not an OC/Authors name)

• Author notes/comics/pictures in middle of fic

° "~This is a transition~"

• Forcing a character to be OOC for sake of story

° Filler characters

• Not sticking to a specific genre/jumpy moods

Now don't be intimidated by this list! Some of these are pretty self explanatory so I won't go into a few of them. There are plenty of ways to avoid these and in some cases it is perfectly fine to use any of the above. 

Let's start off with the basics!

Sentence structure is the backbone of writing, but it's a very flexible rule. Obviously you have your subject, verb, object and whatnot, but the true art lies in word choice and length.

When it comes to sentences, size does matter. If your sentences are too short they will seem choppy and unfinished, whereas if they are long they will seem winded and unnatural. The biggest tool you can use to find out if a sentence is too short/long is by reading it aloud! If you run out of breath it's too long but if you finish abruptly it's too short.

Word choice is my favorite weapon to work with, I could describe a blue jay as a normal bird or as a mythical animal just by picking the right words!

"The blue jay flew across the field while it sang it's melody."

Or

"A creature with wings made of clouds swooped across the field whilst roaring out a devilish tune."

Word choice can easily convey tone/feeling so it's definitely an important element to writing! If you ever have trouble finding that perfect word try googling for synonyms! Also this website might help you find that one word that you just can't think of!

Grammar is also a very important part of writing. Using the right words and punctuation can be difficult sometimes but there are some easy fixes!

Spelling is an easy fix, if you forgot/don't know how to spell a word consulting a dictionary or Google is a surefire way of solving your problem. You can even find synonyms if you feel like you've used a word too much. 

Punctuation on the other can be a big more difficult, however. 

Here's a couple of sentences that helped me learn basic punctuation:

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink then leaves. Commas are a means of sewing two sentences together to form a compound sentence. These are mainly used to list out things and to add fluidity to your works so they don't sound as choppy.

A question mark walks into a bar? Question marks are pretty self explanatory. They either raise a question or form uncertainty.

Two quotation marks "walk" into a bar. Quotations are used for both dialogue and metaphors. I personally love using them for sarcasm!

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink. This one is a tougher one that I personally never learned from any of my classes. A gerund is basically a word that can act as a verb or a noun which would be "drinking". An infinitive is the base of a verb, in this case it's "drink".

The bar was walked into by a passive voice. A passive voice is when you emphasize the action and object of a sentence rather than the subject. You can find that a passive voice tends to use past tense where as an active voice uses present/future tense.

Three intransitives walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave. An intransitive verb is an action verb, expressing a doable activity like arrive, go, lie, sneeze, sit, die, etc.

Some other things that I commonly see are the wrong usages of words. For example:

They: a group of individuals/pronoun "Yeah, they said he'd be here thirty minutes ago."

Their: a possessive pronoun "Leave their stuff alone!'

There: location "What's that over there?"

Then: event/action "Val went to the mall then skittered to the park."

Your: possessive "Your self esteem is lower than the Mariana's Trench!"

You're: a conjunctive "you are"

Affect: caused by actions "The fallen french fry really affected Val's mood."

Effect: caused by events "Climate change has a negative effect on my Cheerios."

Peaked: a summit "Val has peaked at 10:19pm"

Piqued: stimulate interest/curiosity "You have piqued Val's interest by mentioning food."

Do time: "Val is fixin' to do time if she keeps slacking."

Due time: "Val will come with hydration in due time."

Per say: not a thing

Per se: by/in itself "She didn't write this late at night, per se…"

There are different tools you can use to spice up your writings, from metaphors to innuendos, all the way to zeugmas! Let's go over the basic definitions of these bad boys.

Metaphor: a figure of speech that is not literally applicable. "The darkness surrounded us like a shroud." Obviously the darkness can't physically shroud anyone.

Innuendo: a sentence with a hidden meaning "Is that a gator in your pants or are you just happy to see me~" 

Zeugma: a sentence containing words that can be used literally and figuratively, like a love child of the two above. "Val and her coupon expired last week." This implies that not only did my Colgate coupon expire, but I died as well.

Paragraphs are a necessity when it comes to writing. Big blocks of text are an eyestrain to readers and it's easy to lose your place, even if it's only 150 words. It's always best to use Tab or at least 5 spaces when indenting. A paragraph should only be 5-7 sentences long, this is so it's not just multiple blocks of text

When to add a new paragraph:

° A new person comes in

• New idea/context

° Setting changes

• New person is speaking

° Time changes

• The "camera" moves

° Tone shifts

• 5-7 sentences has been reached

Paragraphs help you organize your work in a way and they make it easier for your readers' eyes!

POVs are also very important. First person and third person are by far the most common ones so I'll only touch on these two. It's very important to write a story in one strict POV as to not confuse the readers. You can however jump perspectives like Heroes of Olmpyus by Rick Rodian, as long as the ready can easily tell who is telling the story.

First person is a story that is told from first-hand experience. It's the same as if I told y'all the story on how I almost chopped off my thumb in woodshop class back in middle school. First person tends to use a lot of I's and my's

Third person is a story that is told from a narrators' point of view. Such as "Once upon a time" type of stories. I's and my's should only be used in dialogue

Dialogue is probably one of the most important features of any fic/story. Dialogue can push plots forward as well as add life to a character. Here's a simple exchanged:

"Hiya 'Splodey," Val chirped.

Katuski smirked, "M'dumbass."

Dialogue should always come with a pair of quotation marks. Commas and periods generally go inside the quotation marks whereas dashes, colons, and semicolons almost always go outside the quotation marks. Question marks and exclamation marks however can go either inside or outside, it goes by a case by case basis. Always indent whenever a different speaker is talking, running quotes into each other is a no-go because it causes confusion and eyestrain.

You have to be wary of using simple dialogue exchanges though, if they seem off try saying them out loud! Dialogue is one of my favorite things to write because you can weave personality into them, not to mention you can always hear people talking to get a better idea on how to write dialogue.

For example, I have a southern dialect, meaning I sound different than someone from the north! I use words like "y'all", "fixin'", "finna", "ain't" and have a different vocabulary than that of my northern friends. This means that the characters you're portraying should have their own way of speaking! This will not only add flavor to your dialogue but it also adds to their personalities/backgrounds.

Describing things can be just as valuable as dialogue, but it is a bit more complex. Sure we've all heard of the "show, don't tell" rule. Which is a good rule to follow, however too much showing is just as bad as telling. Again, reading out your work is a great way to tell if you're focusing too much on one thing. Another thing to keep in mind is importance, such as do we really need to know that the grass outside was bluegrass? Which in certain situations it would be! For example:

The grass around the disheveled house was brown and straw-like, with the exception of a ring of grass. Bluegrass. Which wasn't even native to this location.

This paints a pretty good spooky picture in the readers' mind and even adds the element suspense by the implied uncertainty.

I've only covered a small portion of writing so if y'all have any questions or need any help feel free to slide into my DMs or send in an ask! I love getting questions about writing and I'm always willing to help a fellow writer!

[rohan-kishibaby]

SOMEONE COULD WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS.

Someone being me.

Get ready for this cause i'm just gonna shit out a very short oneshot real quick. Just a warning i am fckin braindead right now so there's probably either typos or inconsistencies but (it's no use!) TAKE THIS.

The first glance was enough. The image already burned into his eyes.

A vision he hoped he'd never see again. The body of one he loved so much, lifeless, painted in red. Limp in the arms of Soleanna's princess.

How Shadow wished that he could be the one to hold him. That he could be the one there by his side. But he couldn't. He wouldn't. He wouldn't open his eyes. He wouldn't look again.

If he didn't look, then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to accept this. Whatever this was as real. What even was this? This place, this situation? None of it made sense.

He had been with Rouge and Omega. He still was, but now they were somewhere different, surrounded by different people. And met with that awful sight...

No. It wasn't real. It couldn't be. If he just didn't look... Didn't open his eyes, he wouldn't have to face it. He wouldn't. Not again.

He heard them talking. Heard Amy crying. Desperately calling his name. He heard the name of the one responsible for it all. Mephiles. But hadn't he just been fighting against Mephiles? He wished he could close his ears like he could his eyes. His head didn't turn, his eyes didn't even flutter. They couldn't. He wouldn't look.

He'd already seen this before. A gunshot, a wound bleeding severely, and then... she was gone. She was gone and he couldn't save her. Couldn't serve his purpose. Couldn't see himself ever loving, or healing, or giving, only hating and destroying and taking.

But then, to his own surprise, he loved.

He loved him.

That one mote of golden light in his darkness. The one star in the endless blackness that was once his sky. Once illuminated by Maria, and by his creator, Gerald, now lit up brilliantly once again by one beautiful star. A star that somehow brought all the others around him to light. Through him he'd realised that love was truly all around, and that the loss of his family hadn't meant the end of his life. That there was more beyond that space station, and more beyond destroying the ones who had taken them away.

And now that brilliant star had been snuffed out. And regrettably the only thing he wanted was to kill Mephiles himself.

But now, it was futile. Time and space distorted around them, and everything truly was coming to an end.

If only Sonic were still here... Shadow knew he would have known what to do. Would have been strong enough.

If he just shut his eyes tight enough... maybe...

"No. I won't give up."

What?

"There has to be a way! If you say it exists in the past, present, and future, i'll destroy them all at once!"

In any other situation Shadow would have laughed. That's exactly what Sonic would have said. Something so ridiculously infeasible and yet, coming from him, Shadow believed it.

But it wasn't coming from him.

Shadow opened his eyes, but still refused to turn. He looked at Silver, ready to deliver the news that without Sonic...

"Sonic..."

Elise's voice was barely audible through the pounding of his heart in his ears.

He had to stop himself from turning around. He couldn't. He shouldn't.

"What's the matter?"

"I feel... Sonic's presence in the wind..."

Had he heard right? He wanted so badly...

"Of course! Let's call him back with the power of the Chaos Emeralds!"

The emeralds... Silver may just be on to something. If Sonic truly was still here...

He glanced around, searching for any sign, never letting his eyes fall onto that one place, as he heard the plan formulated. Elise, who had once been the host of Iblis, would channel the power of the Chaos Emeralds, and call back Sonic's soul from the other side. Silver and the others (of course including himself) would hunt down said emeralds within this broken space. He wanted so badly to believe that this would work. Was so desperate for this not to be the end.

Shadow tensed, ready to set off into the unknown.

But before he did, he glanced briefly over his shoulder at Sonic's still body, not missing the way a cool, comforting breeze washed over him. Tussling his quills in an almost playful manner.

Shadow held back a soft smile. For who else would mess with him like that in a show of comfort, even now?

He would make sure that he never had to see that sight again. That the next time he saw him it would be with the smile he knew and loved.

OKAY but this detail in 06 tears me up

HE'S SO FAR IN DENIAL ABOUT LOSING ANOTHER LOVED ONE. HE JUST- REFUSES TO LOOK AT HIM AND ACCEPT IT. THE ANGST POTENTIAL. OoooOoh mY CHAOS